STARSUB99's SparkPeople Blog STARSUB99's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Depressed about diabetes type 2 diagnosis Oh my what have I done???? The proverbial piper has come calling - all this trying to lose weight on my own... next month... next season ... All the stops and starts. <BR> I finally went to the doctor end of last year - had my labs done and it turns out I have <BR> type 2 diabetes and low thyroid. <BR> <BR> I feel like a disaster is occurring in my body. NO more delusions about " it's not that bad" Who was I kidding? I'm under 5 feet and weighing in at 237. That's delusional thinking its... Fri, 10 Feb 2017 17:37:26 EST Getting in front of it. I thought I'd switch it up when I found a beginners Tabata Workout on pinterest. So this morning I got up at 6 am had some water and turned on the Roku.....You Tube... and off I went. Man was it hard. I got through the first 14 minutes and that was it for me. The cats were hovering by the phone trying to decide it they needed to call 911! LOL. <BR> <BR> I found another one while I ate my breakfast and had a coffee and a water.... it seemed more like a beginners pace so I will try that on... Tue, 31 Jan 2017 14:02:22 EST Back at it Started yesterday with a plan to get back on track. Prepared some meals....cleaned house.. cleaned out my fridge. Today I did my plan for morning.. Get up ! Feed the cats Water..drink water Leslie Sansone 1 mile walk Breakfast Shower 20 minutes of reading. Get dressed....get to work. So proud of myself. Mon, 30 Jan 2017 08:04:32 EST Go Figure - Get it back!!!!!! This healthy lifestyle living is hard to learn.... I went back over the past 8 weeks to see what the heck has been going on with me. Have you ever gone back to review what you put in your tracker??? this was my homework from Melissa the Dietician. <BR> <BR> Well - here's the shocker. I thought I was pretty good at keeping on track. Bah!!!!!!!!!!!! Sure I was plunking everything in the food and nutiriton log.... but when I looked deeper - <BR> - did I eat within Calorie range <BR> - did... Mon, 23 Jan 2017 12:07:47 EST What was I thinking????? Oh my. <BR> I was so on track yesterday. I had a meeting after work - and I planned to treat myself to a starter salad with a grilled chicken and a glass of red - I had it all planned out. And I was alone - which is not a biggie for me. I thoroughly enjoyed my time alone - had my meal - had my wine and walked out with my head held high. <BR> <BR> Fast forward - doing volunteer work and my husband texts me " where are u?" at 8 pm. Duh - at the volunteer center...." we are waiting on you f... Wed, 18 Jan 2017 17:07:42 EST UPs and Downs Well I went for testing and my scores are back. My blood sugars are a little high - and my thyroid is a bit low. I take certain medications that put me at risk for metabolic syndrome. <BR> So I have a follow up with another physician to see what's what. <BR> <BR> I'm a bit scared - my dad has type 2 diabietes and I don't want to go there. I have been struggling with taking weight off for the past 5 years - and it's always so much effort to move the scale - I waffle between working out and... Tue, 10 Jan 2017 16:03:54 EST Getting on Board the Healthy Train Woo HOO 2017!!! <BR> <BR> I keep coming back. Yup - 5th year - it's not only at this time of year.... I fall off the healthy train ... get back on . a little bit smarter .. a little bit more grounded. this learning how to be healthy is a lot of work. <BR> <BR> At least I am now admitting I can't do it alone. I have the help of a dietician on my side now. Learning a lot from Melissa the Dietician. She is kind. She challenges me. She is in my corner. And every time we meet a learn ... Wed, 4 Jan 2017 14:01:42 EST Sadness at Christmas. Having some issues the past few weeks with emothional eating. We had 3 unexpected deaths of friends in one week. Yes 3 in one week. I was reeling after the first one - my husbands oldest dearest friend since highschool died of an aggressive cancer. <BR> My dear friend out west - who has been challenged with health issues all her adult life - had her healthy husband die of a sudden heart attack. And then, my daughter in laws grandma passed suddenly. She was another dear woman with a hea... Tue, 20 Dec 2016 15:08:33 EST Weigh In Day - The Darn Scale actually moved for me this week!!!!!!!!!! <BR> Down 2 pounds. <BR> Woot Woot for me! <BR> <BR> Trying this Fat Buster system was an effort to get the scale moving again and it was successful. I must admit that I was going down the " I'm getting desperate" road with the scale going in the wrong direction and stalling and sputtering out... but really? I had the focus on the food but I wasn't exercising at all. <BR> <BR> I know that getting moving is key for this older body of... Fri, 2 Dec 2016 09:30:50 EST Day 4 - Fat burner Challenge today flew by - its end of work day - and you know what? I feel more alert - more awake than I have in a while. The toxins are leaving my body. I have that feeling that I am lighter... not so weighed down. Often in winter I feel like an overstuffed sausage getting into my coat - but not so much now. <BR> <BR> I feel good - had my smoothie for breakfast - drinking my water throughout the day. I had a carved turkey wrap from subway for lunch and it was delicious. <BR> <BR> Homemade wonto... Thu, 1 Dec 2016 17:06:56 EST Day 3 - Fat burner Challenge Well I must say - I'm feeling pretty darn good on this new plan. <BR> <BR> I added fresh spear mint leaves to my Fat Burner Smoothie last night and that made a big difference. The wheat grass smell was annoying to me - and the addition of the mint - freshened up the smoothie and now I know I can drink this concoction down morning and night. <BR> <BR> Went swimming at the community pool with my Fat Burning friend Marta last night. We had fun - did a moderate pace alternating legs only with... Wed, 30 Nov 2016 09:52:19 EST Day 3 - Fat burner Challenge Well I must say - I'm feeling pretty darn good on this new plan. <BR> <BR> I added fresh spear mint leaves to my Fat Burner Smoothie last night and that made a big difference. The wheat grass smell was annoying to me - and the addition of the mint - freshened up the smoothie and now I know I can drink this concoction down morning and night. <BR> <BR> Went swimming at the community pool with my Fat Burning friend Marta last night. We had fun - did a moderate pace alternating legs only with... Wed, 30 Nov 2016 09:51:15 EST Day 2 Fat Diminisher Diet Challenge Now - I'm not great at routine so this is a challenge for me. I have been making the super food smoothies and downing them. Not sure how I will get myself to day 30 - but I made it through Day 1 - so now it's just repeat - build the habit... <BR> <BR> Day 2 - I sure feel more awake with all this fresh food and stuff coursing through my veins. I am so desperate to get that scale moving and this belly fat out of the way - I will drink the smoothies and eat all fresh foods. I am just so tir... Tue, 29 Nov 2016 10:03:54 EST Day 1 - Blast the Fat! I am pumped! <BR> I can do this! <BR> I got up this morning drank my water.... while I made my Fat Blaster SuperFoods smoothie... sucked the smoothie back and smiled to myself. <BR> I can do this. <BR> I made myself a turkey and veggie wrap - 6 incher... with lettuce and cucumbers and tomatoes - wrapped it up and slid it into my purse. Added some fresh veggies, an apple and a handful of cashews for the afternoon if I get the mid afternoon munchies. <BR> <BR> Hubby is going to clear all the ... Mon, 28 Nov 2016 09:49:32 EST 30 Days - Blast the Fat! some times this healthy living - working on losing weight can feel like a never ending battle. I get the healthy living side of it. But the translating it into weight loss has been a struggle for me. It goes down a few pounds then up a pound or two... it's being consistent that has been my biggest challenge. <BR> <BR> Now in comes my friend Marta. Also a curvy woman of European decent .... spending a little too much time eating comfort food and watching tv. Marta and I were laughing the... Thu, 24 Nov 2016 16:01:11 EST Church Food - A lesson in simplicity Yesterday I was invited to an all day working session with 90 other community members to talk about how we want to measure how our community is doing overall. It's called Vital Signs and other communities across Canada are also engaged in this activity. <BR> <BR> It was held in the meeting area of our local United Church. The lunch was set up and I got in line like everyone else ready to make my way down the spread with my plate in hand. <BR> <BR> I surveyed the choices. Church food. N... Wed, 2 Nov 2016 17:47:05 EST The Two Day Rule is now in Force! I was reading an article - 23 ways to improve your workouts...... <BR> I think number one for me is - do one. And somewhere in there was the " you can't outperform your fork" - in other words - no point working out if you are feeding yourself crap. <BR> <BR> I'm doing way better on the food side of the equation. I am working with a dietician. I am eating more balanced meals and snacks. I 'm not fooling myself on what is a portion anymore. I am tracking 100% of what's going in my body. A... Mon, 31 Oct 2016 16:35:36 EST Shattered Delusions - In my head I'm slim - in the mirror is another story.... Today is a reflecting to get past the frustration kind of day. <BR> I am feeling stuck. Stuck in this fat -overweight - out of shape - BMI Obese- body. <BR> How's that for adjectives? <BR> <BR> I have had this thing the last couple of years as my menopausal weight ballooned me up to wake up at 236 lbs on my 4foot 11 inch frame.... In my head I'm not fat. There it is. In my head - when I am living my day - I still see myself as a toned athletic 135lbs and 35 years of age. <BR> <BR> Realit... Wed, 5 Oct 2016 13:44:08 EST Freshing Up for Fall I met Melissa the Dietician last spring when I decided once again that I had to do something different if I wanted to be successful this time around. I have 100+ pounds to lose. <BR> <BR> I had some success in the first few months. And I'm not talking about pounds magically melting away. She was helping me learn how to feed myself properly. I never learned this growing up. As an adult I made some headway when I was on weight watchers and picking up info from magazines etc. But it nev... Mon, 26 Sep 2016 17:02:55 EST Tough to Stay on Track Today I'm having one of those days - you know - when you want to eat everything you can think of??? <BR> I had breakfast. I brought lunch. And of course it's been a busy day at work and when I stop to think... NO WATER!!!!!! - I haven't had any water since this morning.... <BR> Time to start sucking it back! <BR> <BR> It's funny how if I make the time to listen to myself - I find the answers. Thirsty not hungry. <BR> Oh well - another mystery solved. <BR> <BR> tonight I'm going to get my ha... Wed, 7 Sep 2016 16:10:55 EST Weekend Success Well... we finished installing the pine ceiling throughout our cottage this weekend. Another major project completed. <BR> And I survived the weekend staying within my calorie range each day. It was a struggle I admit to stick to one cocktail a day when many around me were having beer breaks - I was chugging water with lemon. I must admit I miss a cold beer on a hot day. But really? It's not that big of a deal. NO one noticed I was chugging water. No one commented. <BR> <BR> I enjoyed ... Tue, 6 Sep 2016 11:10:31 EST Melissa My Dietician How much can I say about how much I love Melissa? <BR> I have been off the rails from my quest to lose weight and shape up for most of the summer. I cancelled appointments with Melissa. I didn't go to the pool. I didn't drink enough water.... and the slide was all consuming. <BR> <BR> Last week I got an email from Melissa. " Just checking in. Would enjoy hearing how your summer is going..." I felt guilty. Then I remembered how much better I was doing when I showed up for our appointme... Tue, 30 Aug 2016 09:35:48 EST Struggling with a Low Point in my Journey I can't pinpoint the day ... or the week... but oh have I gotten off track. <BR> I was so pumped up this spring - I was seeing the dietician... swimming a few mornings a week and eating healthy meals most of the time. <BR> <BR> And there I was yesterday surfing the net looking at bariatric surgery options, info etc. The struggle to stay on track has been overwhelming with work, family, renovations.. visitors - all the stuff that makes up life... and here I am back up at 236 lbs. I lost my m... Tue, 16 Aug 2016 11:49:19 EST I was Stuck til I Changed it UP! This whole healthy lifestyle to lose weight and feel better can be downright frustrating some days. I'm working on doing it right this time. Not trying to change a million things at once - instead doing one thing till it feels right - then adding another new change. <BR> <BR> But I must admit I had become complacent. I was pretty much saddled up with eating in my calorie range. Drinking my 8 or more glasses of lemon water daily. Struggled a bit with making exercise a priority but I w... Thu, 9 Jun 2016 10:24:10 EST Looking beyond the numbers on the scale. I've been a bit stuck on the weigh scale this past month. Learning how to eat properly and getting my exercise routine down has been harder than I thought it would be. <BR> <BR> I have over a hundred pounds to lose and that is daunting. Its smaller things I need to celebrate to keep the momentum going. I was sharing with the dietician yesterday that it is seeming like so much work and I am only down 7 lbs. <BR> <BR> She's smart - so how do you feel? Less bloated. Could you say that 75... Tue, 31 May 2016 17:06:10 EST Finally in the 220 group <img src=""> <BR> So after 3 months of working at changing my eating drinking my water and working with the dietician I have dropped 7 lbs. I was stuck at 230..232 for a month... today 229. I know feeling better and learning a new lifestyle is important and motivating... but my old school inner self is chhering for the external confirmation that the needle on the scale moved. Tue, 31 May 2016 07:34:06 EST Time Out was Time well spent WE had our long weekend up here in Canada over the past 3 days. I was frustrated and knew that the weekend was going to be a danger zone to the Nth degree. I knew my husband had a big project on the plans - complete the siding on the shed at the lake - which means little or no time to go exercise. <BR> <BR> I know that 80% is what you eat - so that was where I put my efforts. We started Friday night with grilled chicken breast and steamed broccoli. Saturday morning - 2 eggs omelet fille... Tue, 24 May 2016 10:17:22 EST Time for a 30 day Challenge OKay. I am not waiting for the beginning of June. I'm starting today. 30 days of being the DONE GIRL. <BR> I am done with working at weight loss some of the time. I need to do it ALL of the time. <BR> I am done with making excuses for not working out. Really - how hard is it to go for a walk? <BR> I am done with other people forcing food my way. JUST SAY NO! GO AWAY! <BR> I am done with my bad attitude. I want to feel the JOY and looking after me makes me happy. <BR> 30 days - giving... Fri, 20 May 2016 14:04:25 EST Slow and Frustrating I know it took over 6 years to put all this extra poundage on - but really? It is becoming very frustrating trying to loose even a few pounds. <BR> I also know I have myself to blame. Made all kinds of excuses last week - didn't get one workout in. Yes I watched my calories during the week but had a total blow out on the weekend well actually Saturday all hell broke loose. <BR> It was my husbands 65th birthday on Saturday. I had planned a small party in the evening at the cottage - 10 peo... Mon, 16 May 2016 15:17:38 EST I can do this! wow. It's may already. Spring has sprung - the weather is way better - and I'm pumped to get out there and get moving. I've been out with a hip injury for 8 weeks. <BR> <BR> Last week I got the green light to do some walking and swimming. Did both and the hip held up. So this week I will crank it up another notch to 4 workouts. <BR> <BR> I've been seeing a dietician. Changing small things. One thing at a time. And it's working. I feel so much more in control of my eating - espec... Mon, 9 May 2016 17:26:34 EST January slip slip slipping away Well as we round the corner to the last week in January - I realize that my intentions are still good - just the delivery is a little weak. <BR> <BR> I committed to eating clean - and besides the KFC dinner with friends last night - and 2 6" subs at subway - I can say - I did really well with this one. Still struggling with portion sizes... but getting better at bringing lunch to work. Breakfast is the challenge. Getting to this regularly - well I know that some planning would be best in... Mon, 25 Jan 2016 12:30:03 EST In Fits and Starts Getting back into gear has been more of a challenge this time than I thought it would be. <BR> <BR> The eating clean and watching portion sizes - I'm about 65% there. I have made the effort to make a few pots of soup and I bring soup to work for lunch. Still having issues with eating breakfast. Not a habit I am into. I have that stupid idea I can "save" those calories for later.... which turns into a fit of spooning PB and Honey out of the jar at 11 pm... not good. <BR> <BR> The working... Wed, 13 Jan 2016 12:26:43 EST Swimming Swimming in the Swimming Pool I LOVE swimming. but I have been lazy. I haven't gone swimming for fitness for over a year. <BR> <BR> Last week I made a commitment to myself to start swimming again. No more excuses. It's good for me. I like it. So get going! I recently started working in a different city - smaller place and did not know where the local pool was. TIme to investigate.. Found it inside the local high school. <BR> <BR> So I went on my lunch break to find out what the score was. I met the Pool manager a... Mon, 4 Jan 2016 11:40:41 EST Swimming Swimming in the Swimming Pool I love swimming. I haven't gone swimming for over a year. <BR> <BR> My commitment to myself was to get back in the pool this new year. <BR> <BR> I did it. Went last week to check out the local pool in the new city where I now work. <BR> Got the morning lap swim schedule and bought a pool pass. <BR> <BR> I got up this morning. Had a bite of breakfast. Packed my swim bag and work clothes. <BR> Off I went. <BR> <BR> YES I DID IT!!!!! I made it to the pool and swam for 30 minutes. Breas... Mon, 4 Jan 2016 11:31:47 EST Its Time for a Do OVer Last spring I came back to spark. I was doing blazes til mid summer and then I fell off the proverbial wagon. Financial Stress, Marriage stress - health stress... too much stress. <BR> I just stopped looking after me. <BR> <BR> Well things are settling down now. I found a new job and after 6 weeks I can say I'm enjoying it. The hours are more regular. I don't have to bring work home. I have weekends off. It is so different from the crazy job I have had for the past 2 years. And the p... Sun, 29 Nov 2015 17:24:47 EST 100 + deays back with Spark Wow! 100 + days - I've been on holidays for 2 weeks. Hanging at the cottage. <BR> I checked into spark daily to keep the streak going - so every morning I grounded myself to stay on track. <BR> <BR> My big success is I did not gain 1 pound. I stayed the same - 219. I am so happy with this result because I was sort of loosey goosey with my tracking. <BR> <BR> I've learned to be more reasonable with myself during this 100 days. I have confidence now that I can move the scale number downw... Mon, 27 Jul 2015 11:29:14 EST 85 days on spark It can be a bit deceiving this 85 days. How tuned in have I been? I'd say about 75%. At the start I was all in..... dropped 10 lbs the first month - then another 5 now I've creeped up 2... but overall - let's take the positive and say we are in abetter place now than 85 days ago. <BR> <BR> I must admit the last few weeks I'm tracking food and paying attention -just not staying in the zone. I can feel it when I go over on the calories and eat foods that aren't very healthy choices. <BR> <... Mon, 6 Jul 2015 12:35:17 EST Feeling Good! Like I know that I should! Well - Let me say that getting myself moving again has done wonders for my confidence and mood. It was a struggle ... since April 1 when I started back on spark - it took me weeks to get out there and get moving. <BR> <BR> I am so proud to have earned a 500 fitness minutes award for June - already. Yes. Lazy me. Excuses me. I have got on the movement bandwagon and it is working. Gardening and walking. I feel better. My mood is improving. My confidence has gone up as the scale starte... Tue, 16 Jun 2015 10:22:54 EST Finally moved off the darn plateau OMG - talk about frustrating. First 6 weeks I dropped 11 lbs - focus - attention.... layering in all the good things.... then came the challenge. Sticking it out. Surviving a few weekend party situations. up and down the same few pounds.... <BR> <BR> So I stayed off the scale which was messing with my moods and confidence.... focus on the calories... got out to move in the yard doing some gardening... drinking my water and stayed on track for the weekend - and there goes the poundage -... Tue, 9 Jun 2015 12:32:20 EST gotta get moving I'm having some issues with getting myself moving again. <BR> Yes I did some gardening yesterday - getting the beds ready and today will be planting. <BR> <BR> Getting my sneakers on and going for a walk. Not so great. I've been doing the visualization and I know I will feel better if I just get out and do it. <BR> <BR> What is it that stops me from doing what I know will make me feel better in the long run? <BR> <BR> Hmmmm. I know its like doing dishes. Nobody wants to do the dishes bu... Wed, 3 Jun 2015 11:52:34 EST 40 days and 40 nights Wow! I've made it 40 days with Spark. And 40 nights. <BR> <BR> When I came back I wanted to drop my BMI from obese to fat as a first course of action. And you know what - no I didn't get there in 40 days - but I am down from 47.7 to 45.4. <BR> Moving in the right direction! <BR> <BR> Did I lose some weight? Yes - 11 lbs. Do I wish it was more? Of course. But hey I am working on the positives - so YES!!! I am DOWN 11 whole lbs. <BR> <BR> Nice to have it reinforced that I can make the... Fri, 22 May 2015 13:51:13 EST still working at it.... .working at it ... the small things. I tend to be an all or nothing kind of gal and I'm working hard at changing that. Starting with the small things. What I can control. What I can't control. <BR> <BR> Last weekend was not one of my stellar times. We had company coming and going at the cottage. Saturday evening I made myself take a time out - because I knew I was sliding fast into stuffing my face territory - - and drinking too many cocktails territory. <BR> <BR> It worked somewhat - ... Wed, 20 May 2015 15:31:44 EST 28 day streak! Wow! I have amazed myself. I'm still here. Still tracking and it is working. <BR> <BR> I finally feel like I'm back again. Started with tracking all the food I put in my face- that stopped a lot of the craziness. For me tracking food really works. I feel accountable to myself when I'm on spark. And I'm just tire of being the fat girl. I can't even connect with the pictures of myself. Who is that??? When I look in the mirror - I finally hit - my level of disgust with myself on what b... Sun, 10 May 2015 13:26:56 EST No gain - No loss - Lesson Learned Okay - 1st week with no change on the digital scale. <BR> The good news is no gain. <BR> The sad news is no loss. <BR> But really - I need to be honest - I did not plan the week or the weekend last 7 days. <BR> And clearly - If I want to lose - I have to plan better. <BR> <BR> I'm still not good at knowing the calories in foods - so back to the drawing board. I plan out the week for the main meals on the tracker and adjust as I go every day. That worked. And the type of food makes a diff... Fri, 8 May 2015 11:51:09 EST Need some beef Well that's just how I feel today. We don't eat a lot of meat. We've cut down significantly over the past 2 months. But somedays I just need the beef. Not sure if I'm not getting enough protein... or whatever... but I just want to get away from the salad and lentils for a day. <BR> <BR> It's probably the weather too. It's been grey and rainy. So I've defrosted some lean ground beef and I'm gonna make my version of home made hamburger helper. It's so easy to make - I added the recipe to... Thu, 7 May 2015 15:07:01 EST may - maybe - may oui! Four days into May. Time to get on track. The weekend was a little bit overboard. Poor planning. That's all it was. And then there was the guacamole on Saturday afternoon with multigrain tostidos and a cold beer. OK. That was so worth it. Our first warm afternoon up here. I don't regret that sidebar at all. <BR> <BR> So maybe I need to spend more time planning the weekends. I realize that last weekend we planned all our meals and it went smooth. This past weekend - not so good. We... Mon, 4 May 2015 15:27:53 EST April in Review Ok. I came back this April after a year of sloth and stress... up 36 lbs from my original spark days. <BR> <BR> I decided to focus on food first - as the saying goes - " you can't out run your fork". <BR> So... I started tracking food to be accountable to myself - cause it works for me. And I had more good days in the range than tough days. Proud to say - I'm down 10 lbs since April 1. <BR> <BR> The other thing I did that really helped me feel better was to start drinking my water. An... Thu, 30 Apr 2015 12:11:44 EST Tomorrow is weigh in day I am hoping that the scale agrees with how I am feeling and comes down a pound this week. <BR> I am t.rying not to step on the darn thing daily. <BR> I know I feel better this week. <BR> I am more in control of my choices when it has come to eating and preparing meals. <BR> I am drinking my water - daily - and it makes a difference feeling the hydration. <BR> I read an article recently that showed a woman in her forties who changed only one thing. For a month she drank her 8 glasses of wate... Wed, 22 Apr 2015 14:14:01 EST Breakfast out with the neighbours Another curve ball. my husband is working split shift this week. So he calls on his way home from morning shift and says " let's call the neighbours and go out for breakfast" <BR> <BR> Okay. So I was only on my morning coffee. That was good. But breakfast out - danger!! Ding Ding Ding!!! goes my brain. <BR> <BR> But it all turned out okay. We went to the place up the highway. I ordered the morning special. I looked down at the whole plate full of food and said to myself. Nope. Yo... Tue, 21 Apr 2015 14:07:37 EST Survived the Weekend Weekends are always tough. We did pretty good sticking to our plan this weekend. <BR> I did find myself mindlesslessly downing party mix at the Tanners on Saturday night - Woah!!!!!! There. After a few handfuls I moved my butt to the other end of the room. <BR> <BR> I do like to have a bit of alcohol on the weekends.... kept it tight this weekend. Had one beer with the guys when we finished building the deck addition and Had 2 glasses of wine with dinner Saturday night. Ok so Saturday calo... Sun, 19 Apr 2015 21:14:47 EST