SPONALI3's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=SPONALI3 SPONALI3's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Took a 3 week vacation and gained 16 lbs! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5340253 ugh. . . That is what happens when you stop tracking your food, stop login in to spark people and basically do nothing to monitor myself. I wish I could say the vacation was worth it, but I didn't go anywhere, didn't do anything fun or active. Just stopped caring. So tonight I logged on again because my cousin said lets get back to spark people. Yes, I definately need Spark people. I need the tracking of exercise and food intake. I need the goal setting and I need the support of people.... Tue, 30 Apr 2013 02:23:57 EST Happy Easter http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5306892 Well I used today as an excuse to just eat whatever I wanted and oh man, I am paying for it now. It is amazing how you can fall back into eating as much as used to without even thinking about the binge. My binge was so much that when I think about it I want to throw up because I am so uncomfortable right now. But at the same time, I cannot purge because that is not me. <BR> <BR> So tomorrow is a new day and I have to exercise, I have to fast because I don't emagine that I will be hungry... Mon, 1 Apr 2013 00:14:02 EST 3-15-13 keep on keep'en on http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5288334 Today I felt really tired and slept for most of the day. I did make it to cardiac rehab and exercised for 60 mins 30 mins on treadmill (or dreadmill I sometimes call it) and 30 mins on the sit down stepping machine. My weight keeps on fluxuating but today I was at 304 and I was down from 308. Its so hard to tell what is actual weight loss and what is going on with my water retention. I think I am going on the down side now and hopefully it will actually be weight that I am losing and not w... Sat, 16 Mar 2013 00:00:18 EST 3-11-13 Back to work ready or not http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5283070 Today I went to the doctor and she asked me if I was ready to go back to work. I told her physically I am ready mentally I am not. But it is definately time to get back into a schedual which would include my normal day activities which definately includes work. I have been out for two weeks. It is taking longer to feel better this last hospital trip but I am feeling stronger finally. I am taking time to get know my body and exactly how it feels and that is a hard thing to do. While phys... Mon, 11 Mar 2013 21:07:44 EST 3-7-13 Changing Thought processes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5278252 3 Ways to Stop Negative Thinking <BR> <BR> Don't Let Negative Thoughts Sabotage Your Efforts <BR> <BR> -- By Dean Anderson, Behavioral Psychology Expert <BR> <BR> Thank goodness for motivational articles! I was beating myself up again for how I live my life and instead of just purging my negative thoughts I stopped and said "find an article that talks about how you are feeling." This article hit the button with me on every aspect of my life. Not only diet and exercise, but how I handle... Fri, 8 Mar 2013 00:50:40 EST Tuesday 3-5-13 ANY IDEAS WILL BE VERY HELPFUL http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5275145 trying to inspire myself into keep going. I have eaten dinner out two nights in a row, but tonight we had salmon and steamed califlower. There was no salt added to any of it and it tasted so good. That last sentence is so weird to say because keeping track of what I eat and my sodium intake has been a challenge. I crave salt. I want to add "just a little bit" to everything. My retaining water is getting a little better so I know that low sodium is helping me. Also I have not had a soda... Tue, 5 Mar 2013 23:09:37 EST Another week - learning more and more http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5269178 This week I actually exercised Monday, Wednesday, Friday for at least 30 minutes. On Tuesday and Thursday I tried to do some viedo workouts and did some strength training as well. My problem is that I am retaining the water again from when I was in the hospital last week. I have gained 8 lbs from when I got out and I am sure that it is water gain. <BR> <BR> It not that I haven't cheated, I had some low blood sugar days and today I had part of a hersey chocolate bar. I am going to take ... Fri, 1 Mar 2013 23:35:17 EST continuing denial BE GONE http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5262219 This week I found myself in the hospital again, this time with pneumonia. I was in from Tuesday -Saturday. Had a boat load of antibiotics and medications that make my blood sugar go sky high. I am coming to terms with my situation. I have to eat right watch my sodium watch my sugar and carbs, be aware of exactly what I am doing. In one month from the first hospital stay I was drowning in my own water. I have to exercise. Right now I am grateful for Sparkpeople for the tools right here ... Sun, 24 Feb 2013 14:57:04 EST Bad Days http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5250975 How is it that a person can be fine one day and then the next day be totally down? Bipolar? crazy? lazy? all of the above? I tell you this is me. I feel so down I am sick. I don't care about anything at this moment. Why is it so hard to look for the good in things? I know what needs to be done but yet I cannot make myself do it. Is that hopelessness? do I feel like when I have done what I am supposed to do it wont feel done? Is THIS AS GOOD AS IT GETS? I am frustrated with myself. I hat... Thu, 14 Feb 2013 23:03:46 EST First 15 minutes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5209379 Today I went to my appointment with Cardiac Rehab and actually did 10 minutes on the bike and 5 minutes on the treadmill. I am trying to wing myself off of oxygen because I hate pulling an oxygen tank behind me every day and then the leash I have on at home is frustrating. I am so happy I exercised and look forward going every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. My weight gain and loss is so up and down. I am 7 lbs up from Saturday probably from water weight and what I have eaten. But the mott... Wed, 16 Jan 2013 02:21:26 EST Still in the get ready, set, go mode . . . http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5199718 I'm in the blocks ready to explode out and run for my life, yet I find my feet are glued to the blocks, head hanging down. Motivation to look up and go has not reached my innerself to move. Reading other blogs and other peoples success stories is helping. <BR> <BR> I wonder if there is anyone out there who feels tired of themselves. The stop complaining and wishing for different things and just do the thing that you want. If I want to exercise, then exercise. I need to think about the sm... Wed, 9 Jan 2013 23:29:59 EST Day two of the rest of my life http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5196216 Well I started sparkpeople in 2011 and haven't taken advantage of this great resource at all. I realize that If I had used the resources provided by Sparkpeople I would have been a lot closer to my goal of appreciating myself. I always said when I get to this weight I will be happy or when I do this I will be happy. Setting goals feels like setting myself up to fail. So how do I over come the fear of accomplishing my goals? My goal is to track my food everyday and be honest about what I ... Tue, 8 Jan 2013 01:21:34 EST Yesterday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3890358 I had a huge scare last night. I had pain in my chest and radiating down through my right arm. It hurt so bad, I was sure I was having another heart attack. Fortunately I have been blessed. It was not my heart this time, but it was and is a pulled muscle in my right arm. <BR> <BR> I look at all my blessings and know that now is the time to learn how to manage myself. Same goals. Take tennis shoes to work. walk 15 min. I have to do this. <BR> <BR> Tue, 4 Jan 2011 21:18:09 EST In The Dark http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3879202 I have been in the dark for 3 years now. I have wanted to lose weight. I have wanted to get healthy. But I am in the dark as to how to move myself forward. I signed up on sparkpeople to help motivate me. Get me moving. Doing, not just thinking about doing. Not just wishing I could do. So the first thing I need to do is buy a scale. second thing is to start exercising. <BR> <BR> Take Tennis shoes to work and walk around building 15 minutes a day. <BR> <BR> The slow suicide of obe... Sun, 2 Jan 2011 01:40:48 EST