SOULFISH80's SparkPeople Blog SOULFISH80's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Spring 2015 This season, each year, is such an odd time for me. I embrace it with excited anticipation as I imagine what the rest of the year will hold, but it is also a time of year that I am a little wobbly on my feet, both literally and metaphorically. I have been doing well by staying busy. This is my third week of spring cleaning. I have gone through most of the closets, just have one left. I have sorted through almost every box we have, both in the apartment and in storage. Today I took boxes to s... Mon, 13 Apr 2015 18:28:26 EST Blog mode I wrote a rather boring blog yesterday about how happy I am to have access to SP after a 6 month hiatus. Don't get me wrong, I am happy.......but there were so many typos in it and fixing them on this tablet is not easy for me. So I erased it. Today I am in a different place. My health is fully on my mind, and I am in "tackle this beast" mode. I am not going gung ho crazy........since that leads to injury for me.........or it has in the past. But I am in the "focus on me" mode. What does my b... Tue, 31 Mar 2015 23:52:26 EST Mt Lassen pics and recent musings <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Tim having an all out glorious moment. The water in the background is Lake Helen, and in person it actually is as blue as it looks. Divine. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Lake Helen without the hubs blocking the view :p It is small in circumference, but HUGE in beauty. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> First vie... Fri, 26 Sep 2014 19:03:54 EST Quick little blog So the happenings here are good, interesting and keeping me quite busy, mentally, emotionally and physically. Tim and I had a MUCH needed weekend getaway to Lassen Volcanic National Park this weekend. It was truly spectacular, and we cannot believe we have lived in the Sacramento area nearly ten years and have never been there. It is just under 3 hours away, and it is wonderful. The people we met were down to earth, friendly and fun, the food was good, the lodging was affordable, but most imp... Tue, 23 Sep 2014 22:17:39 EST Measuring tape I was reminded at exercise class on Monday about the importance of measuring ourselves. The last time I did this I was shocked at how much my body was changing even when the scale was not moving. Just leaving a quick blog to remind myself to do that today....after I find my measuring tape ;-) Wed, 10 Sep 2014 06:22:59 EST Size really does NOT matter. So, I was going through my clothes yesterday, got rid of a ton, and have quite a bit more to get rid of. Wish I could say it was all too big, bit in reality, most of it just does not seem to suite my taste anymore. What I found, not only from the clothes I gave away, but also from the pieces I kept is, size means nothing. I am wearing a medium dress today, and was wearing a medium dress yesterday. I also have size 18 dresses, and a few sizes between medium and 18. I have medium shirts and XXL... Mon, 1 Sep 2014 21:54:50 EST New work out class Today would have been day three of my new workout class.......but hubs came home today and scheduled and impromptu meal with my Mom and sister at one of my fave places to eat in Davis. So, I skipped class. I shouldn't have, but I did. And the meal was wonderful, and the company was even better. I had Heirloom Tomato Pomodoro Spaghetti, mmmmmmmm boy it was good. This area is know for it's tomatoes, so much so that Heinz has a plant in my town. It was nice....this is the perfect season for them... Fri, 29 Aug 2014 21:23:07 EST It's good to be me. Life is just good right now. I have things I definitely want to change and make better, including all Spark related activities...........but I want to stop and take note that things are good. There are things around me, in my family that are hard/sad, but in my day to day life, all is pretty great. Tim has a great job, I am "working" from home, I have lost weight and kept it off........and am attempting to lose more. We recently got a kitten, which just makes life great. The summer is coming ... Fri, 22 Aug 2014 00:41:44 EST Sp has been there for me. SP has really been there for me over the last few years. I have been through so much, a miscarriage, loss of a job, moving, Grandfather's death, multiple health crises for both myself and my husband. Through all that SP, and of course sparkfriends were there in a way no one else was. I really feel like I owe it to myself, and to all of my sparkfriends to do my best. I am losing weight, but I haven't been a productive part of this community and I really missing that. I want to try harder, hope... Tue, 20 May 2014 00:47:51 EST Take two Highlighting my hair, so I have a bit of downtime while it processes, let's try again!!! Blog number two for the day. Hope this goes better this time. Thanks for the sweeties that commented on my blog from this morning. I was a bit frustrated when I lost my 5 paragraph blog at 7 am this morning. Oh well, it was probably just a bunch of boring nonsense anyway!!! Ha! <BR> <BR> So, all is really great here. Lost another pound. This makes eleven in just about two months. I have 5 more to go to g... Sun, 4 May 2014 22:56:47 EST Whaaaaaa? Just typed and entire blog and lost it! Not cool!!!!!! Not typing another now. All is well here, hope all is well in your worlds. I'll type one up when I get over losing this one!!!! <BR> <BR> Hugs. Sun, 4 May 2014 10:43:22 EST Quickie Just wanted to get a quick blog in this morning before work. I leave soon, so this will be short and sweet. I've been logging all calories in and burned and have been attempting to get as much water in as possible. I have lost ten pounds since the first week of March and I feel a glimmer of hope in my bones that I might be able to keep losing for awhile. Ever since I stopped my old medication and got a new one I have been struggling to even want to eat very much. This is the polar opposite of... Thu, 24 Apr 2014 09:30:11 EST Small victories Don't know how this whole spark thing works so quickly, but it does! Started tracking and exercising yesterday, and today did the same, and already I managed to loose that stubborn pound I have been working on for a few weeks!!! I could not manage to break that pound, but alas, today, I have, I feel pretty happy. I know that scale victories are really not the main way I stay motivated, however, I will take them when they come. I have 8 more pounds to get back to my weight from last December..... Fri, 18 Apr 2014 18:01:46 EST Trying to get my head back in the game. Everything has been a HUGE tornado of events for months now, and I see the dust clearing, but am afraid to believe it's really over. I must, however, start getting my head back in the healthy living game. I feel good about myself emotionally, but I know I have a lot of hard work to do if I want to feel the way I know I can physically. So today I started tracking for the first time in months. I usually won't track my food if I have eaten "bad" stuff, or feel guilty about an item or items I hav... Thu, 17 Apr 2014 19:26:00 EST Palm Sunday Palm Sunday can be a big deal for Christians. It is always the Sunday before Easter. I am celebrating (because I am lucky enough to have the day off) by going to church, out to lunch and then car shopping. I know car shopping sounds like an odd way to celebrate an important religious holiday, but as some of you know, I'm really not religious by normal standards, I just really love Jesus. So, wish me luck. We sold our "good" car to my sister two months ago because we needed the money, and have... Sun, 13 Apr 2014 11:08:24 EST Recap Well, my math is wrong, it's been just shy of 4 months, not 5 since I've been on here. And that really does make me feel a little better somehow! Strange but true. So, I won't get into any gritty details, but here is a quick rundown of the last 4 months. Grandpa passed away in the middle of December, we took two months to have the funeral. The funeral was mid February, it was hard, but a big relief at the same time. Tim and I were living on the road in his big rig, staying with Mom occasional... Sat, 12 Apr 2014 15:24:11 EST Quick catch up. Just wanted to say hello really quick. It's been a really wild couple of months and I am really looking forward to the New Year. I hope you all have had a lovely holiday. I am looking forward to reading about all of your new adventures in the upcoming year. Love you guys. Hugs. Sun, 29 Dec 2013 22:08:34 EST In Mourning A few hours after I posted my last blog my Mom called me to tell me that my Grandpa had been taken to the ER in Davis. We had the day off, unexpectedly, and rushed over there to see Grandpa, and be support to my Mom. The next few days were spent in the hospital with all of the family members that could make it here. We reminisced about the good old days and laughed, hugged and cried. It was a really great feeling having all of the family around. But slowly, each person had to get back to thei... Sun, 15 Dec 2013 11:48:48 EST Making time for me....?! So I don't know why, or how it's been almost two weeks since I've been able to blog.........OK, that's a lie, I know why and how, I just can't come to terms with what has happened in the last two weeks!!! This is really craziness over here, and I know I'm in the thick of the tornado right now, so I'm a bit overwhelmed. I'm just hoping when it's all over we're in one piece!! <BR> <BR> To start off, Thanksgiving was great. Didn't do any of the great things I said I would do, like track all my... Thu, 5 Dec 2013 02:59:00 EST Flying by Wow these last two weeks have really flown by. Tim took off this whole week also. Tried to work on Monday, finished the short drive, but injured himself and damaged the truck in the process. So we decided he needed another week to heal. He seems to be feeling better. I think his healing process will be much like mine, long and drawn out. Small progress week to week, but needing TLC for quite awhile to really get back in the full swing of things. <BR> <BR> We've been packing this week. We bo... Fri, 22 Nov 2013 21:55:28 EST A new week begins Not too much going on over here. We've been holed up all week trying to heal our injured body parts. My ankle is feeling much better, even took a nice long walk today. Tim's shoulder is getting a bit better too. One day at a time. Looking forward to a small, intimate Thanksgiving celebration spent with my Mom, sister and husband. Planning on tracking all food, and staying in calorie range. If I stay in range I will be so proud of myself. <BR> <BR> Hope you all are doing well. Have a great we... Sun, 17 Nov 2013 20:49:13 EST Hurts Tim seperated his shoulder on Friday night. He's been off of work since then. I feel really bad, he's in quite a lot of pain. He saw a chiropractor, and we ordered a muscle stimulator machine today. He'll go back to the chiropractor on Friday. We are quite the gimpy pair right now. My ankle is nowhere near being fully recovered, and now him with his shoulder...........what a sad sight!! It is odd that both of our injuries kept us from being able to work. Wonder what the message in that is? <B... Wed, 13 Nov 2013 15:58:08 EST Happenings (pics) So, blogging everyday is not necessarily possible under my current situation. I can't believe it's Sunday and I haven't been able to blog since Wednesday. Blogging really does help me sort things out and keeps me focused. But some days I just can't do it. Thursday was spent on the road with hubs. Wanted to stay in Oregon once we got there, as usual. It was quite cool and sprinkling, but just as beautiful as it could possibly be. Friday I spent with my Mom and sister in Bodega Bay and Sepastop... Sun, 10 Nov 2013 14:29:20 EST Interesting Made quite the discovery recently about my eating habits. I've been back to tracking my food daily, for the last 3 or so weeks. I haven't been consistent in this area in a really long time, and am fully convinced that this is crucial to weight loss...........I know, I know, I'm a slow learner. So, what I've learned is that many days I do not eat enough food. I know this sounds bizzare for an overweight person to say, but it is definitely true. I am eating approximately the same way I've eaten... Wed, 6 Nov 2013 21:57:10 EST Taking time to heal Decided to take this week to properly heal. I've been running around like a wild woman trying to figure my life out, and I haven't really been properly addressing the needs of my still tender ankle and knee. So, this week is about rest, water, reading, connecting with God, writing, catching up with friends via phone chats and all around regaining the strength I need for the upcoming move. I will be of no help to myself or hubs if I don't heal this ankle/knee properly, and I just can't do that... Mon, 4 Nov 2013 16:02:16 EST Nitty gritty So, did some serious self facing today. Haven't changed my weight ticker since May of this year. Which means I haven't lost any weight since May of this year. I was under the impression for quite some time that I was the same weight I'd been for the last two years give or take 5 pounds here and there. My scale wasn't working for a few months, so I had no conrete way to track my weight. I went back to my weight tracker from May, and according to what I weighed last Monday, I gained 24 pounds f... Sun, 3 Nov 2013 12:00:51 EST New life I feel instense feelings of love and excitement for my new life! Quitting my job is turning out the be the best thing I've done in years. I am swelling with feelings of excitement for my future. I feel a brand new sense of strength and priority in putting my needs first in life. I have been seeing day by day all of the things I've done in my life that have not honored me. I don't want to do this anymore. I want to say what I mean and mean what I say, and I don't want to talk/think/feel bad ab... Sat, 2 Nov 2013 20:31:39 EST The great unkown Standing at the precipice of the great unkown is me, right here, right now. For the first time in my adult life, I have no idea of what the future holds. I am moving to a place I know very little about. I am completely open about what I will do for a job, I mean COMPLETELY open. I am not even sure, at the very moment, what town, or part of the city we will be settling in. I have my ideas of areas I like better than others, but for the most part all I really know is I will be there, and Tim wi... Mon, 28 Oct 2013 11:41:57 EST So great Just took a stroll through the world of SP, and came across this on Cheryl_Anne's page. Wow, how interesting how life just brings you what you need at the exact time you need it. So happy to be learning about life and myself and others with the help of this gorgeous community. I've searched for a community I could fit into my whole adult life, and never found one, until now. I never imagined it would be an online community. Technology definitely has it's positive place in my heart. Love how i... Sun, 27 Oct 2013 10:59:43 EST Big plans Today was really nice. Spent the day shooting the breeze with my Mother and sister. Got lots of nice gifts from my Aunt; books, jewelry, art, Mikasa dish set, it was like Christmas in October. I felt really spoiled. It was very nice to spend the day with two of my favorite people. I love them so much and feel so much love and support when I'm around them. <BR> <BR> So, the plan of the day, since I don't have a job holding me back, is to give up the apartment and live on the road for a few mo... Sat, 26 Oct 2013 23:23:19 EST Beautiful people I try to be blatantly honest with myself............and by blogging, with others too. And today was hard, downright hard. Uncontrollable outbursts of deep emotions teamed with almost unbearably violent crying. Questioning life, self and God. It wasn't pretty. Not proud at all. But after some music therapy, and support from beautiful friends and family, I do feel a bit better now. <BR> <BR> I did eat TERRIBLY today, which is not good at all. I was on the road with Tim all day, didn't pre-plan... Sat, 26 Oct 2013 00:43:10 EST Aftermath OK, it's started today already. Just got a call from my ex-boss. She hasn't been to work yet, and doesn't know I quit. She was sounding tired, but almost nice. I'm really, really wondering what she is going to do when she finds out I quit. I wonder if she'll call me, or if it's all just water under the bridge. You know, I know that I did the right thing by quitting, because I don't feel bad about it at all. I feel good, really good. I am a little sad to be leaving my clients. But other than t... Thu, 24 Oct 2013 12:23:27 EST Coo-coo crazytown I quit my job today. Yeah, still can't believe it. I 'm in shock. Major shock. Shaking major shock. It feels like leaving an abusive marriage. I made the best of it for way too long, because I love what I do, but it's been bad for awhile, a long while. The straw happened yesterday when I went in to work, hobbling on my bruised, sore and weak busted ankle, because my boss asked me to. When I realized I couldn't work, DUH, I told her and she gave me the most evil look and said some snarky, cold... Wed, 23 Oct 2013 20:18:23 EST My husband says.....and smoking. So, it's just after 7:00 am. I've been up since 6:00 am. For some this is normal, or even for people like my Mom who have to be to work at 5:30 am, 6:00 am is sleeping in. But for me, well, for me this is a VERY unusual thing. So, I'm using this time awake, and alert and excited for the day's adventure to immerse myself in the positivity of SP. <BR> <BR> My husband has been saying, for atleast 6 months now. "If you really want to loose weight, you need to do Sparkpeople. That's the only thin... Tue, 22 Oct 2013 10:31:59 EST All in a day "I can't get enough freggies in the spring/summer, then when fall hits I have to force feed myself to get enough. I love vegetables, I don't know why I'm like this. I think I might need to get a little more creative with my winter veg recipes. " <BR> <BR> Quoted by soulfish80, 2 days ago <BR> <BR> And this morning was spent steaming cabbage and beets and roasting butternut squash. So take that lazy, don't wanna cook self. You can do it, you really can!! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-a... Mon, 21 Oct 2013 18:42:16 EST Daily blogging With all my down/homebound hours on my hands, due to this busted ankle, I was inspired to really dig into the SP site today. I haven't done this in a really long time. It lead to hours of reading blogs and articles, taking quizes and eventually doing seated cardio and strength exercises. I can do a walk down memory lane and see all the things that have happened in the last two years that have been a hinderance to my lasting success on SP. One huge hurdle was living without internet for nearly... Sun, 20 Oct 2013 22:16:19 EST Unexpectedness For the last month or so, it's been a series of unexpected pitfalls for my health/body. The horrifying blood donation experience that took nearly a month to recover from, and now this busted ankle that looks to be atleast a full weeks worth of recovery, if not more have just about ruined this last month for me. I'm a bit bummed at the pitfalls, because this weather has me very motivated to exercise. However, I can channel this motivation into planning what it is I will do when I'm well, and i... Sat, 19 Oct 2013 13:10:56 EST Fall Fall has really snuck up on me. Time is whirling by so fast these days. I just wanted to say that all is well here. When there is peace in my home, there is peace in my heart, and all is well on the homefront. Hubby is working hard, as usual, but when he's home we always make time to snuggle and chit chat about what is on our hearts. I love this man so very much, what a blessing to be married to the best friend I've ever had. Truly awesome. <BR> <BR> Been walking, in the living room. Picking... Mon, 30 Sep 2013 00:13:51 EST Warning, diarrhea blog So, I feel a diarrhea blog on my hands. I don't mean a blog about diarrhea, just a babbling blog about life these days. It's due, it's been ruminating, and now it's time! Change of season, better get this broom out and clean up the dusty spots of my meandering soul, and share it all with you ;) <BR> <BR> So, on the 6th of this month I had my blood drawn. I will not go into great details about just how horrible that was (I was donating, so it was a large amount of blood taken) but it was bad... Mon, 23 Sep 2013 16:21:39 EST I'm baaaaccccckkk! Just decided to try a different brand of computer charger to see if it might work on my computer, and it did!!!! Wow, so very happy. I was thinking I'd lost all of my photos and resume and computer........with no money saved to buy another. So, I am very happy right now. Blogging from my cell phone was quite hard, and rather ineffective. I added the sp food tracker and sp recipe apps onto my phone, so nice. I like that the new tracker also tracks strength mins, which is really handy. Had a fe... Sun, 15 Sep 2013 18:30:42 EST Cell phone??!! Won't keep me down! I am attempting to blog from my cell phone. We'll see how this works out. Decided to break down and buy the sp food tracker app, used to have it for free. For four bucks I think it's definitely worth it. Finally picked up more protein shake after a week without it. The store was out and I was really missing it. Makes meals easier, especially breakfast. I started walking in my living room, it is the simplest way to get easy cardio, and watch a good movie at the same time. I like it even better... Wed, 11 Sep 2013 17:27:35 EST Vacation is over, whew!(pics) I've officially been back to work for two weeks now, but my vacation mood is still in full force!! I rode up to Oregon with Tim last weekend, and went to Santa Cruz yesterday with my sister. I like running here and there this time of year, it just seems right. The last few days of my vacation there was a free museum weekend going on up in the gold country. It was really great. My Mom, husband and I ended up hitting 5 museums the Saturday that we put Josh on the plane to go home. I got quite a... Fri, 23 Aug 2013 17:09:18 EST Summer Vacation (pics) I have a full week left of vacation, and I'm already worn out!!! We've been having a blast. My step-son is 11 now, and he's so much fun! He's always been a joy, but now he's old enough to really get out and do fun things. We've been horseback riding, went to an amazing railroad museum in Old Sac and went hiking yesterday to Horsetail Falls and Pyramid Creek. We've really had a lot of fun so far, and the week is just begining. It's really nice to get a little time off work. It's also been nice... Tue, 6 Aug 2013 14:23:38 EST New news Well, things seem good, for today. My quick trip to Oregon a few weeks back, coupled with my upcoming trip there next week and our move planning has really sparked me into some happiness. I was in a mild depression for the last few months. Which was affecting my weight. I went gluten free and gained 9 pounds. Not good at all........that was 9 pounds on top of the 5 I had gained the month before I went gluten free. So things were spiraling out of control. I actually hit my all time high weight... Wed, 31 Jul 2013 20:25:45 EST First SP meetup!! Wow, Sarina(ridmycocoon)/me, meeting up, letting it all out, coffee, midtown Sac, so great!!! Loved it! What an amazing treat! This community just gives and gives!!! All I can say is I wish I could do it every weekend. Man I love meeting great people, it's so inspiring!!!!! Hope you are all happy and healthy! Tue, 23 Jul 2013 19:23:43 EST Blog From the title of this blog you must be able to tell I've run out of title ideas! Too funny!!! Just checking in. Letting the fingers flow, see what comes out today. I had a really nice weekend. Very mellow. It's a heatwave here, so temps up around 110 degrees for the week. Makes spending time inside very attractive. I have been swimming, that's about it lately. I felt silly going to water aerobics when I have a perfectly great swimming pool right here, just waiting for be used. So I've been s... Mon, 1 Jul 2013 22:36:45 EST Picking up the pieces It's been a really hard week. I took off from work to pick up the scattered pieces of my fragmented self. I am, as many of you know, bi-polar, and I caught myself going down that all too familiar path towards a manic episode this week. I think I may have caught myself just in time. I am a bit sad, since I thought all of this was behind me. I am so thankful for SP though, just getting on here, reading some blogs and dreaming of a healthier me is making my heart a little lighter. I went to talk... Thu, 20 Jun 2013 21:49:34 EST Busy bee (pics) I've been so incredibly busy. Which is great, I love to be busy, especially with positive stuff. Had my brother's family visiting for a month. It was great! Just a few of the over fifty great shots I got of my adorable nieces: <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Ferris wheels are so fun! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Biggest slide ever! <BR> <BR> <img src=" Fri, 7 Jun 2013 19:39:42 EST Wheat free, and other ramblings So, my wheat free experiment has amounted in some very obvious observations and concrete conclusions. I can't eat wheat. It's painfully obvious. I've realized the only time I've had success on SP and in the past with weight issues is when I don't eat it. I went all last week without wheat, lost four pounds, without killing myself with fit mins. On Sunday I went out to eat, ate just a few bites of wheat containing items, I instantly felt like I was going to pass out from intense sleepiness, fo... Wed, 29 May 2013 16:35:50 EST Plugging right along I'm about halfway through with the book 'Wheat Belly'. There is a lot of info in that book. Tons of stuff that makes me really question our modern medical/food organizations. I am on my second wheat free day, and am praying that I turn this into a lifelong eating path. I think any way you slice it, according to the facts and figures in this book, eating wheat is just a gamble. You may not see the negative effects now, maybe it will turn up later when it's too late to reverse the unhealthy pro... Fri, 24 May 2013 14:12:35 EST