SOTM121097's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=SOTM121097 SOTM121097's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Feeling in control http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5156177 Today is a much better day for me. I feel like I'm really eating only when hungry. I thought about eating cookies today, but I didn't take any. I did have a mini breakdown with some issue I was dealing with and was so proud that I didn't cope with food! Tue, 4 Dec 2012 16:33:16 EST Emotional ties to food http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5149673 I have such emotional ties to certain foods and it's so hard to not over eat on them. <BR> <BR> Today I had a brownie and even though I gave myself permission to eat it I still felt the need to keep eating more. I did step away and ended up being ok after that, but I definately struggle with certain foods and my limits. <BR> <BR> Last night I baked cookies. Throughout the day I probably ate 5 or 6. I just want to be normal around food. I don't know why 2 cookies isn't enough for me? <e... Wed, 28 Nov 2012 15:48:36 EST Bad week http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5134597 I will be straight forward, I'm pmsing and just not feeling myself. I have been eating emotionally or more so binge eating again. I can't say when the last time was that I binged before this week. <BR> <BR> I feel so lost and out of control. Usually my eating habits change during the week before my cycle, but this feels way beyond my control lately. Just before writing this I had checked my cabinets about 10 times trying to talk myself out of shoving something else in my mouth. <BR> <BR> R... Tue, 13 Nov 2012 22:11:57 EST Trying new things http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4911293 I'm not always good at taking changes and going through changes. I decided to take a chance recently on a new job. I currently babysit my niece 4 days a week for about 8 hours. I don't get a lot of money for it. I decided to apply for a night job at the library. I knew that my family could use the extra help. I started the job being scared as hell, I just felt like I wasn't going to be able to handle working two jobs. I ended up really being ok with it and starting to like it. <BR> <BR> The... Mon, 4 Jun 2012 10:18:23 EST No weight loss http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4794624 I have been trying to eat intuitively for about a year now. I have had my ups and downs, but iI say I'm in a fairly good place. This is the good news. <BR> <BR> The part that frustrates me is that I will loose a few pounds and then gain it right back. I really havn't lost. I'm in no way perfect so I do still emotionally eat from time to time, I guess this might be what holds me back. <BR> <BR> It makes me feel like I want to start keeping track of calories, but I know in the past that al... Mon, 19 Mar 2012 09:37:36 EST Monday blues http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4725007 I had high hopes of continuing my exericse routine this week, but my back is suddenly kiliing me. I had to pop two advil today and i'm resting. I'm not sure how this happened? <BR> <BR> I'm trying my best to not let it get to me. I will still continue to eat well and take care of myself until I'm feeling better. Mon, 6 Feb 2012 11:11:23 EST Back pain http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4710576 So I feel like I have finally got things under control with my eating habits and doing exercise every week and now I hurt my back. I just rented a new fitness dvd today at the library and when I reached up to the top shelf at the library I pulled muscle in my back lol. It sounds pretty funny, but it's true! I already have a bad back so I guess these things happen when you back isn't in a good place as it is. I hope I'm feeling better soon so I can get back to my regular routine. Sun, 29 Jan 2012 16:15:33 EST Not honoring my hunger http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4107923 I know that I have pms but it is no reason to not honor my hunger. I was doing so well with eating intuitively. I'm trying hard to remember that this is a journey and not to beat myself up. I'm not using this slip up as an excuse to eat badly the rest of the day. I know I was eating out of emotions and I was able to stop myself a lot quicker than I normally would have. So for that I'm happy. Mon, 21 Mar 2011 16:19:58 EST Got the results on my x-ray http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4023464 I have been suffering with some bad back pain for a while on and off but recently it just got worse. I went to have an xray and found out today that I have arthritis and muscle spams in my lower back. At first I got very upset because I was thinking the worst. I just couldn't imagine that I would have to live with this forever. I think i'm over it and I have to do my best to research what food and exercise will help me. I did have a few binges this week and It has to stop. I can't use this as... Wed, 16 Feb 2011 19:14:26 EST new week http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4016232 Weekends have definately been a struggle for me with eating. I felt like because of Valentine's Day the weekend was just one long binge. I enjoyed the day but I went overboard. Today is a new day and looking forward to a great week. Mon, 14 Feb 2011 09:32:41 EST Why do I keep eating today? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4005016 I know that something is bothering me because I binged tonight on a few different things. I Just can't put my finger on what is bothering me today. I'm trying to stay out of the kitchen and focus on something else. I hate when I have days like this and I can't get to the bottom of it to be able to fix it. Wed, 9 Feb 2011 20:10:48 EST Going over calorie range http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3990024 I see that i'm going over my calorie range each day by 30-100 calories. I wonder if I need to give myself more time to reach my goal? I want to be at my goal by a certain date but I see that if I give myself more time It will give me a little more calories to work with. I don't want to be hungry either because that might set me up to feel like this is yet another diet with too many rules. I want to eat in my comfort zone. What amount of time did you give yourself to get to goal? Fri, 4 Feb 2011 12:13:10 EST healthy habits http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3980619 I would say it's been about a month since I started on this journey. I think I have finally adapted a habit of eating healthier and exercising. It has become NORMAL to me. I'm very happy for this. I don't really see that I'm loosing much weight at all so this part is a little frustrating but i'm still hanging in there. Tue, 1 Feb 2011 12:52:47 EST rough weekend http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3955499 Well this weekend was not the greatest for eating. I was at my cousins wedding. It was def. challening to eat well there. It ended up trickling into the next day and I didn't make good choices then either. I'm now back on track and hoping that next time I attend an event it will be a bit easier. Mon, 24 Jan 2011 09:54:22 EST just a reminder to myself http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3947486 My pms is really kicking my butt this week with the cravings. I have managed to find small alternatives to the sweets I would normally eat. I don't know if its just this week or in general but I feel like i'm starting to become a bit obsessed with my calories. In the past counting calories sets me off to binge at times or to just eat more than I normally would. I don't like the feeling of restricting myself. I do want to be healthy and loose weight but I think once I start to keep track this ... Fri, 21 Jan 2011 12:56:22 EST It's not a diet http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3944006 I have really been struggling this week with the scale. I don't see it moving and it's frustrating me. I have to remember why I'm doing this. Of course I want to loose weight so I can be healthier but I have to stop beating myself up over a number. This is not a race, it's a journey. Thu, 20 Jan 2011 12:04:43 EST struggling tonight http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3941831 something is making me want to binge tonight. I just can't put my finger on anything that is bothering me. I ate enough today but I just want sweets. Iam due for my period this weekend so i assume that is the issue. I'm going to try to drink a big glass of chocolate milk and hope that will fill me and help the chocolate craving. Wed, 19 Jan 2011 19:04:28 EST Great New Food Finds http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3938315 Today I went shopping at Trader Joe's. I had so much fun looking for some new and healthy foods. I bought these chili lime chicken burgers which were amazing! I had them tonight with whole wheat buns, asparagus and some baked fries. I also bought tons of fresh fruits and some veggies. I bought chicken and sundried tomato sausauge, vodka sauce (only 4grams of fat per serving) Fish, and some trail mix. I bought some other things but can't remember everything. I feel great when I have a stocked ... Tue, 18 Jan 2011 18:52:54 EST hungry http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3925300 I'm feeling pretty hungry today, more than normal. I think I ate enough but not sure why i'm hungry. I don't like to eat too much before dinner but since I am hungry I think I should eat something just so I don't have a binge later while cooking dinner. Fri, 14 Jan 2011 15:50:34 EST Exercise http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3924669 I realized today that exercise has to be fun for me. I have to do things that I enjoy or else it becomes a chore to me. If I want to continue on this journey to being healthy for life I have to remember this! I planned on doing the biggest loser dvd that I have. When I woke up I stared to come up with excuses not to do it. I realized that I don't really feel that dvd is enjoyable. It seems like work to me. I decided to jump on the treadmill and do a jog/walk. I really loved how that made me ... Fri, 14 Jan 2011 12:07:37 EST New lifestyle http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3915022 I think It's finally clicked for me!!! I just recently read a book called Never say diet. I didn't have high hopes for it since every time I do with a new book it just leaves me disappointed. I don't know if it was really the book or just that It was my time but something in me changed. I realize now that this is not a race or a deadline. I know that I want to be thin and healthy more than anything. In order to lead a happy life I know that I need this. I realize now that this has to become a... Tue, 11 Jan 2011 18:23:46 EST Advice to self 1-11-11 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3915008 I did have a slip up today. I have been really great with eating the correct portion size and walking away from the table. Tonight I had a low fat dessert and after I was done decided to have another one right after. Please remember not to do this! Please give yourself 20 min before eating again! This is Key to your success. Tue, 11 Jan 2011 18:16:44 EST Trying this again http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=945515 well here i am again. I tried doing the intuitive eating thing and i have been gaining weight rapidly. It hasn't been helping stop the binges at all. I need to just beleive that i can do this like i have before. I owe it to myself to be good my body. I'm going to start tracking and exercising 3 times a week and i'm hoping for the best. Mon, 21 Jan 2008 13:20:00 EST I have binged again... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=704631 Well i did it again...i was doing so well for a while. I even lost 3.2 pounds in two weeks. I don't know exactly what caused this. What i do know is that i just celebrated my anniversay and was just continuing to eat poorly for days after that. I was also stressed about somethings going on in my life so i'm guessing that was huge part of it. I'm back again trying to just take it one day at a time. I have decided to put my scale away for a while, i think it's starting to play tricks on me. Thu, 16 Aug 2007 19:06:24 EST New week http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=474018 Well it's Monday again, i always vow to do my best on the start of the week but the weekends are horrible. I will keep working at it. I really want to get to goal before summer. I'm going to be 30 this year and i guess it's a big deal for me. Mon, 19 Mar 2007 14:48:34 EST Starting over http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=467712 Well i have now hit 159 almost 160...that's very scary for me. I had a huge binge last night and after tracking i ended up with over 3000 calories for the day and over 145grams of fat! That's scary for me to think about how unhealthy that can be for me. I haven't really been trying up until now. I'm starting over as of today. I'm tracking and not denying myself anything just in moderation, i need to learn that. i'm also going home to get on the treadmill because i have been way too lazy. Wed, 14 Mar 2007 17:53:20 EST