SORGIN's SparkPeople Blog SORGIN's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community The Countdown is ON! Well, I did it. I signed up for the Gulf Coast Half Marathon to take place in February 2014. I swore off long distance running in 2011 after having participated in four half marathons and a number of 10ks and 5ks. With each distance race, I got slower and less inspired. The frustration and disappointment creeped in. So I decided to leave endurance training. I celebrated the decision with two special Sparkfriends who joined me in snowy/cold Wisconsin for my "last" race, a Valentine's Day 15K... Wed, 4 Dec 2013 13:32:13 EST Time Heals I am doing much better now. <BR> <BR> I couldn't say that in May, or June or most of July. And I was embarrassed because for all intents and purposes, my life was great. I had a roof over my head and everybody was healthy. But I felt horrible. That is the insidious nature of anxiety. <BR> <BR> I won't go over the details of what brought on my anxiety. You can read my last blog. <BR> <BR> The good news is that after a little work, I am doing better. Much better. Why the turnaround? <BR> ... Thu, 5 Sep 2013 11:41:42 EST Anxiety: My Secret to Weightloss I have lost eight pounds in three weeks. Normally I would be ecstatic. But I know the weightloss has occurred at the expense of my mental health. <BR> <BR> I have been struggling with anxiety for about a month now. I am not sure why. I am not sure it matters at this point. But my suspicion is that perimenopausal symptoms are forcing me to face some emotional baggage. (Either that, or I’m dying. Ha! That’s a joke for my friends out there who also struggle with anxiety.) My emotional self sa... Mon, 10 Jun 2013 21:38:11 EST Can't Rely on Magic for Long... This is an open letter to myself... <BR> <BR> Dear Sorgin, you are slip-sliding all over the place. For the last few weeks, you've let your defenses down and have allowed things into your diet you know aren't good for you. Other people can eat them. You can't. Other people can control their impulses when it comes to chocolate, wine and some processed foods. You can't. So stop tempting yourself and put the brakes back on. YOU are in control. Act like it! <BR> <BR> You are lucky. You haven't... Mon, 8 Apr 2013 14:49:08 EST Ramblings at the Edge of the Slippery Slope I find that if I blog on a fairly consistent basis, I am likely to take this journey seriously. So here I am, writing a blog because it's been 10 days and I am feeling a little out of sorts. I suppose "conflicted" is a better word. <BR> <BR> Things are good. The kids are on spring break. One is visiting his girlfriend in Wisconsin. The other is home with me and hoping to see two of her friends who are visiting nearby for spring break. So the routine is gone for the week. That's where the "c... Mon, 25 Mar 2013 15:59:31 EST Danger, Will Robinson! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> If you watched "Lost in Space" then you know Will's robot was a pseudo-parent, alerting him to dangers like a parent would but without the emotion of a parent. <BR> <BR> I need a new inner-robot. <BR> <BR> I go through several days where my diet is on track, my exercise is on track and then for whatever reason (PMS, work, happiness, sadness, thoughts about things) I grab a cookie out of the bag or dip into a ha... Fri, 15 Mar 2013 09:43:03 EST "I'm Rested and I'm Ready to Begin" Songs speak to me. Often, the only way I can process my thoughts and feelings is by listening to a particular song. <BR> <BR> For the last couple of months, a song has been following me around: The Avett Brother’s “February 7”. From the moment I heard it, I loved it. The first time I really heard it (as in I listened to the lyrics) I got all teary on the line, “But I awoke and you were standing there.” <BR> <BR> Who knows what the song is really about but for me it has been a song of redemp... Fri, 8 Mar 2013 15:35:28 EST Walking Down Weightloss Memory Lane... Today I ran across a journal I used to record my adventures in weightloss. Remarkably, none of the entries addressed my thoughts or feelings. They were simply numbers – body measurements and whatever the scale said. <BR> <BR> The first entry was dated 6/30/99. I weighed 175. It was eight months after my daughter’s birth. I didn't write anything but I was probably horrified that I hadn't lost the baby weight. No doubt, the journal was going to chronicle my road to thin-hood. Pages of entries... Tue, 5 Mar 2013 21:05:06 EST Managing the Monday Morning Meltdown It's Monday. You know how it goes. You get on the scale and it sets off a litany of negatives, usually rooted in the weekend's choices. Ugh. <BR> <BR> That was my Monday morning. <BR> <BR> Now it's time to turn it around. <BR> <BR> I have been on this journey five years. While I haven't reached my goal, I haven't given up. And I won't. I have learned a lot about myself and feel like I am on the cusp of finally getting this right. I am almost there! <BR> <BR> Speaking of which, this is... Mon, 25 Feb 2013 11:33:42 EST Things I Miss I haven’t felt like myself in a year. In fact, it was about a year ago, on Feb. 16, when we announced we’d be moving from the frozen Midwest to the balmy Deep South. With two teens, three pets and deep roots, it was not an easy decision. <BR> <BR> For me, the experience has been a bit like a line from James Taylor’s Carolina In My Mind, “With a holy host of others, standing around me. Still I’m on the dark side of the moon. And it seems like it goes on like this forever.” <BR> <BR> But her... Wed, 20 Feb 2013 17:49:20 EST Such a Little Salad, So Little Nutrition I am on day 46 (+/-) of eating vegan. As I've said before, I am not doing this to become a vegan. I am doing it to make more room in my diet for higher quality foods, namely vegetables, fruit and plant-based proteins. <BR> <BR> I have tried many times in the past to improve the quality of my diet but have always focused on what meat/poultry/fish to start my meal with. I'd decrease the size of that protein and increase the vegetables. By eliminating animal-based proteins (and dairy) it has f... Sun, 17 Feb 2013 13:49:51 EST Chinese Food and My Semi-Vegan Valentine's Day My husband and I don't tend to make a big deal out of Valentine's Day. I usually get the kids a small gift. My husband might bring home flowers. Sometimes we all go out to dinner. Sometimes I cook something special. <BR> <BR> This year, the kids wanted to stay home so I made a homemade pizza for them. My husband and I headed out for dinner, just the two of us. In our old town, reservations were never needed. In our new town, it became apparent that we should have made Valentine's dinner pla... Fri, 15 Feb 2013 10:07:13 EST Wise Words I stumbled onto a blog by a fellow Sparker: <link> </link> <BR> <BR> I needed these words today... <BR> <BR> "Weight loss does not bring happiness. It is the BYPRODUCT of happiness. It is the result of a daily commitment to creating the environment for healing and sustaining it, then stepping back and allowing the magic to happen on its own timeline. <BR> <BR> The only thing that you and I can control is the environment that we create. Outside of that, it i... Wed, 13 Feb 2013 20:10:15 EST Accentuate the Positive, Eliminate the Negative I am sure there are a thousand Spark blogs with this title. Ha! <BR> <BR> Every day I get up, look at myself in the mirror and the first thought is, "Why aren't you thin?" followed by, "What is wrong with you?" Then the avalanche of negativity begins. <BR> <BR> I need to stop that. <BR> <BR> The reality is I am a very optimistic person. I don't think the world is going to hell in a handbasket. I think people are generally good. I have a positive outlook on most things. I can even be a darn... Wed, 13 Feb 2013 15:22:34 EST Changing My View I recently moved to a new state. I moved from one extreme climate to another. In some respects that goes for culture too. <BR> <BR> As I've mentioned previously, the last year and a half have been difficult. We had an exchange student with us for a year and then we had to move due to a job change. I was dealing with a new human being in our home as we were saying goodbye to what had become our home. It was surreal. It was really really hard. <BR> <BR> I had to deal with all the details of ... Sun, 10 Feb 2013 11:18:29 EST SparkPeople, You're Killing Me With all Those Food Photos and Ads! I have a love/hate relationship with Sparkpeople. I love the tools and info. the site provides. It is the reason I successfully lost weight for the first time back in 2008. It is also the reason I have managed to keep exercise as a priority. And it's also the reason I continue to explore new ways to get/stay healthy. Sparkpeople has been a God-send. I have found life-long friends here and it's a journey I am grateful for. <BR> <BR> There are only two things I don't like about the site. Som... Fri, 8 Feb 2013 13:16:01 EST Still Veganizing but it's a Bumpy Ride I am on day 36 of trying on the vegan lifestyle (well, as it relates to food.) Some days have been better than others but I am still committed to reducing the amount of meat and dairy in my diet. In fact, I had my first piece of meat last week. It wasn't "all that" so - for now - I am okay without it. <BR> <BR> Chicken is another story. At first I didn't miss it. Then I made Orange Chicken for my daughter and couldn't resist. Since then, I've had little bits and pieces here and there and th... Wed, 6 Feb 2013 12:03:18 EST Vegan Adventure: Confession and Waving the Red Flag I got on the scale this morning and was up THREE pounds. My mind went to the usual places: <BR> <BR> "I exercise! I watched what I ate! How did this happen?!" <BR> <BR> "I have been mostly vegan for cryin' out loud!" <BR> <BR> "This will never work!" <BR> <BR> "I am doomed to be fat forever!" <BR> <BR> "Why do other people lose weight and seem to have an easier time of it?!" <BR> <BR> "Why bother?!" <BR> <BR> I am sure most people can identify with some of those thoughts. I know they h... Mon, 28 Jan 2013 11:43:02 EST 21 Day Vegan Adventure: Day 22! The 21 Day Vegan Kickstart is over and I am pleased to say that I am going to stick with the "spirit" of the vegan diet from here on out. It may never be at 100% but the focus away from meat/dairy has been an effective way to make more room in my diet for vegetables, whole grains and fruit. And that was my goal all along. I did it! <BR> <BR> In three short weeks I have been able to shift my focus from "do I want chicken, beef or fish?" to "what vegetable, grain, fruit, bean and/or legume am... Wed, 23 Jan 2013 11:58:25 EST Make the Sickies Go Away! This is purely a vent. <BR> <BR> Right now I am lying in bed. My stomach is upset. My head doesn't feel all that great. I am hoping I ate too much cabbage or something last night. Ha! <BR> <BR> Our house has been a hotbed of germs. My son spent the entire Christmas break sick. He started with a sore throat that moved on to a headache and then a cough that is still around. Last week my daughter developed a fever. Then a cough started. She is exhausted and the fever is STILL here. We went to... Sun, 20 Jan 2013 10:08:36 EST 21 Day Vegan Adventure: Who Knew Chickpeas Could Taste Like Tuna? Day 17. <BR> <BR> All is well and I am still keeping in the "spirit" of the 21 Day Vegan Kickstart as prescribed by PCRM (Physicians for Responsible Medicine.) <BR> <BR> The next five days will be a test because it will be PMS time. Usually I am irritable, tired, grumpy, bloated, puffy and in desire of chips and chocolate. Well, more than usual, that is. I am hoping my new focus on plant-based will help decrease some of the more distressing symptoms. Fingers crossed. So often PMS is the t... Fri, 18 Jan 2013 14:37:25 EST 21 Day Vegan Adventure: Day 14 and Sloppy Joes I am roughly two weeks into trying on a vegan diet. <BR> <BR> Last night I made vegan Sloppy Joes. <BR> <BR> I was skeptical when I looked over the recipe. One of the first steps was to saute onions and green peppers in 1/2C water. What?! Doesn't that kill the flavor of them? I envisioned tasteless mushy vegetables in my Sloppy Joe. But my goal is to make room for more plant-based foods and investigate vegan cooking, so I let my reservations go. <BR> <BR> The Sloppy Joes were easy to make... Wed, 16 Jan 2013 08:45:58 EST 21 Day Vegan Adventure: On the Road I was in New Orleans on Saturday! I was excited because I have never visited New Orleans and in our new home, we are just a short distance away. Woo! Hoo! <BR> <BR> I was also nervous. New Orleans is the land of beignets, hurricanes, gumbo and more. That is a food disaster waiting to happen. <BR> <BR> My goal going into the trip was to be a "vegan within reason." I had been mindful of my food intake for nearly two weeks. I would do the best I could with the options that were available. I c... Mon, 14 Jan 2013 20:40:43 EST 21 Day Vegan Adventure: The Cracks Begin I am on day ten of trying on a vegan diet. The good news is that I have actually lost weight. The bad news is that I am now at my ticker weight, so don't get the joy of moving the ticker down. Oh well. At least I can say that I have achieved my pre-holiday weight and it only took ten days. Onward... <BR> <BR> I have noticed in the last couple of days that my cravings have started to slip back in. I see chocolate or chips or cheesy pizza or cheesy anything and my heart leaps a little. Thankfu... Fri, 11 Jan 2013 15:46:12 EST 21 Day Vegan Adventure: An Exercise in Patience I am on day six of trying on the vegan lifestyle and surprisingly, I am not having a hard time with food or cravings. I don't miss meat. I don't miss dairy. Maybe that will change in the coming weeks but for now, I am satisfied. Plus my skin already looks better! Ha! <BR> <BR> I do miss sugar and some processed foods but that would be the case no matter what I did. <BR> <BR> What I am having a hard time with is patience. Since I have refocused on my eating/lifestyle, I want the pounds to... Mon, 7 Jan 2013 18:09:17 EST Let the Training Begin... After several years of running, I felt like I was going backwards and I had lost the "fun" of running. I got so caught up in pace and improvement that everything hinged on it. And when things didn't improve, I got frustrated. <BR> <BR> So I let myself off the hook and did my last race, a 15K, in February 2011. It was a perfect way to put things on hold. Two very special Sparkfriends joined me and I ran what felt like a decent race. I didn't wig out. I felt strong throughout. It was good. <... Sun, 6 Jan 2013 16:24:14 EST Thank You Runner's World! This month's Runner's World came at the perfect time for me. I have been in such a funk. I spent four years running, running, running and then ran a little less and less (and ate a little more) as we transitioned to our new life in a new state. <BR> <BR> For nine months, I have felt like a fraud. When I am out and about and mention that I run, I can see the look of surprise on some faces. "You? You're too fat to run." They don't say it out loud but they don't need to. With my recent weig... Sat, 5 Jan 2013 15:19:55 EST Victory! My husband and I went out to eat last night - without. the. kids. That's the first victory. We haven't done anything with just the two of us in a long time. Yay us! <BR> <BR> The second victory is that with my new vegan focus, I was able to select a meal last night and not do much damage. There was only ONE meal on the menu that met the vegan rules. And it was pretty darn tasty. I didn't go home with the over-eat bloat, just the now-normal too many vegetables and beans bloat. (I hope my body... Sat, 5 Jan 2013 10:54:02 EST Vegan Kickstart - PCRM Irritates Me But I Like Their Recipes Anyway I am on day four of the 21 day Vegan Kickstart program (by the Physician's Committee for Responsible Medicine otherwise known as PCRM). This is so NOT me. I like meat. I like dairy products. But I am doing it anyway. <BR> <BR> First, PCRM irritates me because they seem a bit extreme in some of their messaging. I do know data show that plant-based diets make people healthier. Less cancer. Less heart disease. More energy. Yada. Yada. Yada. What I don't need is the proselytizing and occasional... Fri, 4 Jan 2013 13:33:07 EST 21 Day Vegan Adventure to Reboot My Toddler Palate - I like Almond Milk! I am not a vegan. I am not sure I could be ever be a vegan. But I am trying the 21 Day Vegan Kickstart program anyway. <BR> <BR> My palate loves the same old salt, sugar and processed foods. I try to avoid excess goo and sugar. But I crave, crave, crave it. It is comfort. It is peace. It is love. And after this year of transition, it is killing me. <BR> <BR> I need to change my actions. I am 47, not two. <BR> <BR> Day one yesterday wasn't good but I am letting it go. While I didn't fol... Wed, 2 Jan 2013 09:21:09 EST How Long DId it Take Before You Could Do a Real Pushup? I can't do a pushup. In fact, I have never been able to do a pushup. This is a skill I'd like to acquire, especially as I approach fifty and am already losing bone density by the minute. I need muscles to hold up all my brittle bits! <BR> <BR> I have tried in the past to insert pushups into my strength training program. But I don't like strength training, so have always rushed through them with less-than-perfect form, just like every other thing I do related to strength training. <BR> <BR>... Tue, 27 Nov 2012 10:20:02 EST Thank You Sparkrecipe Cooks! I just want to say THANK YOU to all you Sparkmembers who take the time to post recipes to Sparkrecipes. I have found many great food options via this convenient tool. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Mon, 26 Nov 2012 14:56:57 EST The Other Side Ugh. <BR> <BR> That's all I can say about the last nine months. <BR> <BR> Last February, my husband said he had been offered a job in another state. His current job was a source of tremendous stress and he wasn't sure he'd even have the job within the next year. Things weren't looking good. The new job looked great - on paper. <BR> <BR> The kids did NOT want to move. <BR> <BR> I did NOT want to move. <BR> <BR> My husband did NOT want to move. <BR> <BR> After all, we had just done thi... Mon, 19 Nov 2012 13:12:22 EST Intuition isn't Enough Let me preface this by saying I am not a Debbie Downer. I am an optimistic person. Even though things might get tough, I know things will always get better. When I write blogs here, it's usually to process my thoughts and feelings, the more bothersome ones. It's so I can get everything out there and hopefully move on. <BR> <BR> With that said... <BR> <BR> My life is in limbo right now. We are in temporary housing until we move permanently to a new state. We are in this apartment for only ... Sun, 3 Jun 2012 13:16:35 EST Hypocrite or Addict. It Doesn't Matter... I have been around but life has been hectic. We are moving to another part of the country at the beginning of July so I've been in the midst of selling a house, buying a house, looking at new schools, and dealing with angry teens and my own grief over everything. <BR> <BR> I am beginning to get excited about relocating but it's still hard. Sometimes I want to sit down, call my parents and say, "This is hard." I know they'd give me a pep talk. Luckily both my parents are still alive, so I am... Thu, 3 May 2012 17:24:58 EST Again. Again. Again. Fully Tethered to Fake Food. Here I am. Again. <BR> <BR> The good news is that I am not the person I was four years ago when I first stumbled onto Spark. Back then, I had no desire to exercise or eat well. Wine and sugar were my medications of choice. I knew I needed to lose weight but I also knew it would take work, work I didn’t find much value in doing. Or rather, it was more valuable to me to be overweight, tired, grumpy and on the verge of diabetes than it was to give up the things that got me there. <BR> <BR> An... Thu, 29 Dec 2011 16:41:11 EST Notes to Self Every time I open the pantry (or fridge or go to the grocery store or go anywhere where there is food), certain foods generate an immediate reaction when I see them. (This morning it was Cheese Nips.) I see the container and can taste the food right then and there. My brain goes immediately to "Yum! They're so good!" and the box isn't even open. <BR> <BR> This tells me that I have an unusual connection to food. Certain foods prompt a physical sensation before the foods even hit my mouth. ... Fri, 4 Nov 2011 13:23:27 EST What I Chose NOT to Eat These are foods my body immediately said "yes" to but my mind and actions eventually said "no" to. Sometimes the strength is in recognizing the paths NOT taken. <BR> <BR> 10.21.11 <BR> 200 - cookies <BR> <BR> 10.20.11 <BR> 400 - chocolate chips <BR> 100 - almonds <BR> 500 TOTAL <BR> <BR> 10.16.11 <BR> 200 - cookies <BR> <BR> 10.15.11 <BR> I will not speak of this day. I totally caved and gave myself permission :( <BR> <BR> 10.14.11 <BR> 70- coffee cream <BR> <BR> 10.13.11 <BR> New day... Tue, 11 Oct 2011 10:18:31 EST The Calories that Could-Have-Been 4A-HEALTHY-BMI wrote a blog recently about the calories she did not eat. It really put into perspective the choices we make on a day-to-day basis and how they impact our well-being. <BR> <BR> I am stealing her idea. (If you haven't read her blogs, they are ALL fantastic. In fact, here is her "What I Wanted to Eat..." blog: <link><BR>urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=4488738 </link> <BR> <BR> I am doing okay these days but find myself getting bored with food... Thu, 6 Oct 2011 10:42:52 EST "Eating Patterns in America" I follow this woman's blog, A Daily Dose of Fit. Perhaps you do too. Anyway, here's a quick post she did as a preview to the NPD Group study. Interesting stuff. I know I will be on the lookout for the full report. <BR> <BR> <link><BR>-patterns-in-america.html </link> Mon, 19 Sep 2011 14:38:09 EST Not Much to Say I don't have much to say but feel the need to get some things out there today. <BR> <BR> I am holding steady. In spite of my period, my weight is stable. That's good. <BR> <BR> I didn't get enough vegetables in over the weekend. So it's time to get back into the driver's seat and give vegetables front seat status. Oh, and I need to add water to the drink holder. <BR> <BR> I had two great bike rides with my husband this weekend. We did a hilly route on Saturday and then a flatter route on ... Mon, 12 Sep 2011 11:05:06 EST Inconceivable! For those who are Princess Bride fans, I couldn't resist using that word this morning. <BR> <BR> I went above calories yesterday. I didn't really pay attention to what I ate. I didn't exercise either. Yet, I got on the scale this morning and it revealed a half-pound loss. <BR> <BR> Inconceivable! <BR> <BR> I am FINALLY at the lowest weight I've ever been on Sparkpeople! <BR> <BR> On a serious note, I won't let this "inconceivable" moment lead me astray. I need to tighten back up my focus... Thu, 1 Sep 2011 09:18:51 EST Unsettled Today's word is "unsettled." It seems to be a common theme with me. In fact, I think this word has already made an appearance here in recent months. It means, "not fixed or stable; without established order; unorganized; disorganized." <BR> <BR> First, I know my issues are trivial compared to others on this site. My word-of-the-day blogs are truly for my own benefit, to process my feelings and get on with my day (and to the more important things in life.) <BR> <BR> My 14 year old son retur... Thu, 25 Aug 2011 11:32:11 EST Somebody Finally Wrote a Book About It Mindless eating. . . <BR> <BR> Here's a link to a brief article about the book: <BR> <link><BR>2396.php </link> <BR> <BR> My favorite quote is "It's easier to change your environment than to change your mind." <BR> <BR> Well said. (But it's still a struggle.) <BR> Sat, 6 Aug 2011 18:27:21 EST Heartbroken This doesn't have to do with healthy living, eating, weightloss or exercise. <BR> <BR> Today's word is "heartbroken" which means, "crushed with sorrow or grief." <BR> <BR> A friend of the family, a young mother of three kids ages 2, 4 and 11, has been fighting an aggressive form of leukemia since December. She has been in the hospital most of that time. Her mother has been by her side every step of the way. <BR> <BR> Recently, she was accepted into a clinical drug trial. She is chemo resis... Wed, 3 Aug 2011 21:07:41 EST Resume Today's word is "resume" which means, "to take up or go on with again after interruption; continue: to resume a journey." <BR> <BR> While I have been doing well since restarting my journey on April 25, I let my guard down over the last few days during a camping trip with my daughter. So it's time to resume the habits I am trying to establish for life. <BR> <BR> I have to say "no" to the slippery slope. Thu, 28 Jul 2011 22:30:34 EST Compliment Today's word is "compliment" which means, "1. an expression of praise, commendation, or admiration: A sincere compliment boosts one's morale." <BR> <BR> After I dropped my daughter at voice lessons yesterday I decided to run into the bike/ski/run shop to see if there were any clearance bike shorts. I have one pair to my name and need to add to my "collection." <BR> <BR> Lo and behold there was an affordable pair and they fit perfect. As I was paying for them, the owner (who was busy with so... Thu, 21 Jul 2011 10:45:47 EST History I am writing this purely for my benefit. <BR> <BR> Here is my weight "history" since January 2008. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> It represents every time I logged a new weight onto the Spark weight tracker. I have never been able to view the Spark charts. My internet firewall doesn't allow for it. This week I discovered I could export the data and - poof - here's the chart I've always wanted to see! <BR> <BR> What stands out to m... Mon, 18 Jul 2011 21:32:42 EST Converge Today's word is "converge" which means, "to tend to meet in a point or line; incline toward each other, as lines that are not parallel. " When I first started this journey in January 2008, the healthy lifestyle stars aligned, the Spark angels sang and I lost 30 lbs. in about five months. It was a charmed time. Everything converged in way that helped me achieve something I had never been able to achieve before. Yay me! <BR> <BR> But then slowly, very slowly, real life crept in. My healthy ... Fri, 15 Jul 2011 12:47:57 EST Balanced Today's word is "balanced" which means, "being in harmonious or proper arrangement or adjustment, proportion, etc." <BR> <BR> I've had a difficult week with regard to my weight. In spite of eating within my calorie range, focusing on food quality and exercising, my weight went up every day for five days. It has been a mystery to me, a very frustrating mystery. <BR> <BR> I can understand the scale going up after eating too many calories or eating the wrong kind of calories. I'm never happy ... Fri, 8 Jul 2011 11:51:01 EST