SOFT_VAL67's SparkPeople Blog SOFT_VAL67's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community the surrender of life I find myself entering a new chapter in my life. Becoming the ONLY support person to my elderly mother, who seems to be entering the early stages of dementia. <BR> My brother has his reasons, he has a young child in school and a wife who is extremely sick and disabled. He lives right next door to her, so he is able to get there if she calls, he works around on things at the house, etc, he should, since he inherited all of the land, house, etc. <BR> But does very little in the way of support,... Tue, 19 Sep 2017 07:38:43 EST but i will eventually have to use up the creamer in the fridge! I dont recommend skipping breakfast. However, today, I skipped my coffee, wanting to get right to the track and get my walk in early, I didnt have coffee, which I usually have two cups sometimes three before my walk. <BR> Then when I came home, after running some errands, etc, I didnt eat. <BR> Now, it wasnt that I was intentionally not eating, <BR> After my walk, I bought a medium coffee at the local grocery, but didnt drink it until I got home. <BR> I just started cleaning my house, laundr... Mon, 18 Sep 2017 16:37:33 EST try try baby. it wasnt all that bad, but it isnt good. <BR> my weigh in today that is. <BR> first time i had stoped on the scale in 12 days. just havent been able to stay on track, so yes, i gained 2 lbs. <BR> yes. <BR> i walked this morning and have watched calories, etc today, been sparking, trying. <BR> I do try. <BR> I fail often, more often than I succeed, but I dont quit. <BR> I do get tired of trying, tired of alot of stuff, feeling bad about my weight mostly. <BR> My back is still aching from the ... Wed, 13 Sep 2017 15:39:35 EST if you are going to break, break really hard!!! I have taken a break from SP this week. Not intentionally, just have had alot going on with family and home life. <BR> Honey and I were involved in a very minor incident on our ATV last weekend and I injured my elbow and have had a sore back all week. Thankfully and remembering to be thankful each day that it wasnt worse and that he wasnt injured. <BR> It was brought on by too much speed, and a very rocky and rutted wet terrain. <BR> No damage done to the atv and luckily no broken bones. <B... Fri, 8 Sep 2017 13:41:18 EST numbers game So begins the first day of the month of my birthday. <BR> 50. <BR> The last day of this month. <BR> And I dont feel so bad about it. <BR> My brother died 9 days before I turned 30, and I didnt celebrate that year. <BR> I do plan to celebrate this year though. <BR> The same way I have the last six birthdays. Walking at the track. <BR> Knock on wood, its still 29 days to go. <BR> But those are the plans. <BR> To be 50, and to be me, and to continue on with life, without worrying about the fut... Fri, 1 Sep 2017 06:08:47 EST with squinted eyes So, I havent weighed myself. <BR> I have a doctors appt tomorrow and I know they will, so, I guess I will in the morning before I leave, so the shock, or lack thereof wont be too bad. <BR> I pretty much have an idea, it will be even steven, and if there is a loss it will be minimal. <BR> I will take even steven over a gain but, today I have had the munchies lol (no, not in a while haha).... <BR> I went to the dentist and had a good check up. <BR> I had a good healthy protein filled breakfast... Thu, 31 Aug 2017 14:31:50 EST keep on truckin on i am so slow on the track. but i am still out there, almost every day. I havent missed a day so far this week. <BR> Today I am going to TRY really hard to push on thru and increase my steps. <BR> After an hour, most days, I will have around 6 thousand steps on my fitbit. <BR> I can make up the difference to get my full 10 thru out the day doing stuff around the house, or shopping, etc. <BR> But to get a better number I am just going to have to push harder at the track. <BR> I would like to ev... Wed, 30 Aug 2017 06:35:58 EST and they are ugly creatures we have crayfish in our yard, we have tried everything <BR> going this week to buy traps and try to direct the water flow to an area where we might be able to better capture them <BR> not that it matters <BR> but for every one we get rid of that is one less to dig <BR> i hate living here <BR> i wish we had never bought this place <BR> but money isnt in the budget to move <BR> i guess i will read some online and watch some videos to see if anyone has any ideas how to get as many of these thing... Tue, 29 Aug 2017 19:22:08 EST second verse same as the first Good laughs of the morning. <BR> Woke up, didnt win the powerball. <BR> Woke up, didnt lose any weight!! <BR> Didnt gain any either, so Even Steven is still up to his old tricks. I am either convinced I need to buy a new scale, or, just not eat for two weeks and see if I can break the streak. <BR> Guess I will buy a new scale. <BR> But since I didnt win the powerball, that means I will have to scrape up my pennies to buy one!! <BR> And life goes on. Thu, 24 Aug 2017 06:04:55 EST when it hits you I dont know what kind of infection I have had, or virus or whatever the heck it is, but just when I thought it was safe to go back in the water..... <BR> Was feeling better, thinking finally it was about over, last night the coughing returned with a vengeance!! <BR> Was awake for at least 2 hours coughing, a dry dry cough. <BR> Then I woke up this morning, feeling really tired and achy and drained. <BR> Kinda like sleep walking feeling. <BR> I havent walked in a week and I really want to get ... Tue, 22 Aug 2017 09:18:42 EST being road kill is no way to live A few weeks ago a friend had a yard sale, she coupons, she had totes full of stuff. New never used stuff she gets thru her couponing. <BR> I spent about 34 dollars at her yard sale, I bought Lysol bathroom cleaners, I bought body wash and shampoos and mostly, I bought about 8 boxes of Emergen C immune boost and vitamin c powder. <BR> But, I didnt get it in my system fast enough, or the bug I picked up is just way to strong. <BR> Having Laryingitis is no fun. However, it will buy you a couple ... Thu, 17 Aug 2017 11:34:07 EST two box tissue tuesday I havent walked at all this week, we have had rain, but I am sick anyway. Started feeling a little tingle in my throat on Sunday afternoon. Woke up yesterday with sore throat, etc, havent felt well in days. <BR> Now its my sinuses and sore throat, achy all over. <BR> Hoping it isnt anything too serious, hopefully just a cold. <BR> If my sore throat isnt better by tomorrow, I am going to the clinic. <BR> As for today, staying in, out of the rain and drinking some coffee, going to make me some... Tue, 15 Aug 2017 09:01:18 EST the hardest part (again, i add this disclaimer, that yes, i have in the past lost a lot of weight, and yes, i know what to do, what to eat, what to not eat, etc. this blog is not meant to bring about advice on what i need to do, its just an exercise for me to express my feelings. thanks for reading)) <BR> <BR> So after yesterdays failed weigh in. I didnt go crazy and eat four pizzas and two banana splits. <BR> I kinda just let it all fall away for the day. I ate a burger for dinner. On a real bun. <BR> I ha... Fri, 11 Aug 2017 06:06:31 EST even steven go to h e double hockey sticks I added this after----(((I keep forgetting that some people dont follow me on here and that they dont realize that over the last 5 years, I have already lost 65 lbs, but I cant get beyond this wall. <BR> I am just stuck here. Like Tom Hanks on Castaway. <BR> I am stuck, to forever live in this 2 lb weight vortex until my death!! <BR> I dont weigh every day, I do weigh every week, I skip a week, I gain, I stay the same, I never lose. <BR> And in the event by some random miracle that the miracl... Thu, 10 Aug 2017 08:52:34 EST all that ruckus. Happy Wednesday everyone. <BR> I have little to report mid-week. Just wanted to check in and say I am still here, still working, still walking. Still being driven crazy by a little yapping dog who insists there are hoards of murderers and robbers in our yard. Yet they are visible only to her apparently. <BR> Started watching a docu on Netflix, but cant hear the tv over the sound of her trying to save us all. <BR> Time to shut the door and get some work done. <BR> Have a great day. Wed, 9 Aug 2017 10:10:48 EST walkless wednesday. Feeling good about my decision to skip the scale this week. <BR> I have been staying on track. Death in the family has not sidetracked me this week, however, I did not get to walk this morning due to getting ready for memorial service. maybe I will get to the track tonight, but tomorrow morning definetly. <BR> Hoping everyone is doing well. <BR> <em>386</em> <em>593</em> <em>381</em> Wed, 2 Aug 2017 10:26:11 EST the tissue box is empty! i have no choice but to stop being a crybaby! First I just want to thank every person who commented on my blog from yesterday. <BR> I had myself a little pity party, and at that party, I had two string cheeses, a skinney cow truffle ice cream and a pack of nabs!! <BR> That was my "bender". <BR> I am just glad there was no pizza, chips or cookies in the house!! <BR> haha..... <BR> Anyway, pity party ended and I came back to reality. I am really overall happy that I didnt GAIN this week. <BR> But I am going to take some advice and stay of... Fri, 28 Jul 2017 08:37:42 EST how why when woe!!! I am officially and legally changing my name to "EVEN STEVEN STUCK"!! <BR> Personal rant ahead, proceed with caution!!! <BR> I am incensed, disappointed and perplexed!! <BR> I worked hard this week, I walked more steps per day each day, I kept track and pushed myself to get in a little more each day. <BR> Counted calories and carbs and stayed at or just under calorie range each day. <BR> And what did it get me.....? <BR> Less than half a pound on the scale!! <BR> Yeah yeah I know, we arent su... Thu, 27 Jul 2017 05:40:12 EST thisthoughtinthismoment i think today i am living proof, that simple boredom doesnt always make us overeat. <BR> or even eat. <BR> i am bored to tears. <BR> Literally. <BR> I literally have nothing to do. <BR> No one to talk to.... <BR> and no where to go. <BR> I am just here. but no one even knows it. Wed, 26 Jul 2017 14:09:22 EST things that are and are not Well, my runny eye returns!! <BR> I had this issue with my eye watering right after returning from vacation. my doctor prescribed some antibiotic eyedrops. and after a week or more it cleared up. <BR> but it returned overnight, and into this morning. <BR> I am back to using the drops but going to try to get in to see an eye doctor this week to see what might be causing it. <BR> In other news....I got a new phone recently and it has this great....although very misleading and somewhat annoying... Tue, 25 Jul 2017 05:45:58 EST those days I havent broken my streak this week. I have walked every day since Monday and have racked up 310 minutes. and I am going to walk the next two days to make it a full week streak!! <BR> I got to the track around 715 am and a high school classmate was there walking. He told me he is really sick and is needing a liver transplant. <BR> He is trying to make some lifestyle changes to get healthier or at least ready himself for the surgery, if and when he gets it. <BR> Such a shame, he is 50 years ol... Fri, 21 Jul 2017 15:34:05 EST Sweat!!! Yippeee!!! <BR> I have worked really hard this week. and it finally paid off. I am down six pounds since last week and I take pics of myself on the bathroom scale to show myself the results. <BR> I know I can work harder. <BR> I know some of it is water weight loss, but who cares. It is OFF of my body. <BR> As of right now, I need to lose 8 pounds to get to my lowest number since 2013! <BR> I am not going to put a time limit on that loss. But I will get there. <BR> Hopefully it will be befo... Thu, 20 Jul 2017 05:52:43 EST but words will never....uh, yeah sometimes they hurt I am feeling pretty good today. Despite that yesterday someone, who i considered a friend, made a stupid comment that really made me feel bad about myself. <BR> I dont know if it was just a spur of the minute, inconsiderate, without thought comment. Or, if she really said it because it was on her mind. <BR> Either way it made me feel bad. <BR> I am happy for everyone who is successful in this journey. <BR> I have seen people lose great amounts of weight and keep it off. I have seen others gai... Mon, 17 Jul 2017 10:33:58 EST free to say no I was having some anxiety, anticipating an upcoming medical test which is against my personal beliefs and against my own mind, body and soul. <BR> I had this test once on my own decision and last year I allowed myself to undergo not one but two invasive personally embarrassing and anxiety inducing tests which were not necessary to diagnose a health issue, but to rule out an issue, to more or less satisfy one doctors "check" list. <BR> So, this week I was contacted and told it was time to repe... Sun, 16 Jul 2017 09:29:29 EST doctors/medical you cross a line you made for yourself?? The subject of this blog is medical testing that you are against having. <BR> For religious, personal beliefs. <BR> When do you give in?? <BR> When do you refuse to be pushed over a line you made for yourself? <BR> When do you KNOW what is right for you? <BR> <BR> This morning, on Facebook, I was following the comments on a post by a man I do not know. But have mutual friends with. <BR> Apparently the man had developed an infection in his foot that had gotten really bad. The doctors over the... Fri, 14 Jul 2017 07:13:36 EST stuff and things I am feeling some better today, I guess the antibiotics are getting the job done, my eye is beginning to clear up and isnt as sore. <BR> Looking forward to farmers market this weekend, gonna look for some green tomatoes and corn on the cob, maybe some green beans. <BR> Hoping to get the family together for a cookout, but work and the fact that my mother wont venture outdoors if it gets above 80 degrees, makes it hard to do. <BR> Maybe I will just go swimming and come home to the air condition... Thu, 13 Jul 2017 10:07:02 EST excuse me while i dab my eyes Antibiotics, eyedrops and lots of tissues! <BR> Seems over the last few days I have developed an eye infection of some kind. <BR> At first I just thought all the water was tears, from missing being at the beach. <em>246</em> <BR> But seems its some kind of tear duct infection. <BR> Hoping to get this cleared up soon. <BR> Havent been feeling well at all for the last two days, I am guessing side effects from the antibiotics, so I have skipped my walks and am really starting to miss them. <B... Wed, 12 Jul 2017 10:20:15 EST back to reality So, vacation is over! ""insert crying emoji here"" <BR> I gained weight. I knew I would. Which we didnt really go out to eat that much. <BR> But I did have dunkin donuts!! <BR> I live NO WHERE NEAR a dunkin or a krispy when I am around one, I like to have one. <BR> I had a sour cream and some of the raspberry donut holes. <BR> But I did walk there from the hotel, which was about a 10 minute walk, one way. and we actually walked there twice, the second time was for Baskin Robbins,... Mon, 10 Jul 2017 09:50:08 EST r and r?? just a few more days til vacation, and why are these days so hectic? <BR> tuning up, oiling up and washing the truck, cleaning it out, making sure everything is packed, getting tickets ordered and downloaded and printed and keeping up with everything. getting the dog groomed so she is ready to take to my moms and cleaning the house so i have no work to come back to. <BR> there will be enough of that with putting everything back up!! <BR> <BR> boy, a lot of work goes into trying to relax lol... Tue, 27 Jun 2017 13:33:45 EST elephant in the room I just wanted to take a minute to say Thanks, to all those who comment on my blogs. <BR> There are three or four regulars. <BR> I appreciate you taking the time to leave words of inspiration or just to tell me to suck it up Buttercup!! <BR> I know, I am a bad Spark friend, as I dont often leave comments. <BR> I try. <BR> Seems like I spend most of my Spark time logging food or reading the new Start page posts. <BR> I fail at being a good Spark friend, but I am here. <BR> I hope everyone is ha... Wed, 21 Jun 2017 10:28:49 EST its not just the Monday morning cant help its!!! The days are closing in til vacation time. <BR> I have never been one of those people who says, I am going to lose X amount of pounds by X date....especially not an "occasion" know, vacation, anniversary etc. <BR> I try...mostly in vain, to lose weight for my health. Yes, I want rid of these extra pounds, so that I also look and feel better, and can wear smaller clothes, and to not hurt in my bones from carrying the extra weight, especially as I get older. <BR> But it is a non su... Mon, 19 Jun 2017 09:37:53 EST loss and gain isnt just about weight. Some of my favorite and most inspiring quotes are song lyrics. <BR> "some things are lost, some left behind, some things are better left for someone else to find" Uncle Kracker. <BR> This is the mantra that has been playing in my head lately. <BR> While we have something happening in our life, a love, a friendship, a change of job, a move, etc, it seems like the happiest, or sometimes the most stressful event ever. <BR> Later, once it has passed, we realize it just wasnt as bad as we made it,... Wed, 7 Jun 2017 06:26:18 EST one or two less things Have been doing a little spring cleaning. Sold 5 shirts and made 35 bucks!! <BR> Have several more to sell and a pair of shorts, some camo hunting wear and winter jackets and boots, which I will wait until around Sept to try to sell those, once the nip appears in the air and hunting seasoned hunters get ready to start prepping. <BR> I am feeling more optimistic. <BR> I had a pretty decent weekend, didnt overdo it any. Lifted weights and did get a couple walks in. <BR> Just focusing more on fe... Tue, 6 Jun 2017 13:30:50 EST down, not on the scale tho!! Dont ever put your cart before the horse!! <BR> I really thought when I got on the scale this morning I would see a loss. <BR> I have worked hard all week. Stuck to my plan, stayed in my calorie range, walked as much as I could. Havent eaten bread in two weeks. No sweets. No fried foods. I have done everything right. <BR> This week was one week I can say I really counted and accounted for.... <BR> It didnt matter in the end. <BR> I am the same as I was this time last week. <BR> No loss, no ga... Thu, 1 Jun 2017 05:36:52 EST 4 or bust <img src=""> <BR> <BR> This morning when I got dressed to head to the walking track, I told myself, this morning my goal is 4 miles. Well, my feet had other plans. <BR> I should say, my left foot! <BR> As usual, the pain got to be more than I had bargained for, so I cut it short at just under 3 miles, but since I have been home I have been walking around, doing housework and such. <BR> Staying moving. <BR> I will ... Tue, 30 May 2017 16:40:41 EST one drop at at time.... My son. <img src=""> <BR> Yes I blurred out the face, just because he isnt on this site. <BR> He has been struggling lately with his weight, like so many of us do, and so he decided to nip it in the bud and get back to the gym. <BR> So proud of him. Just graduated college, and is now taking more classes working towards a Masters. He says in a few years he will be Dr. <BR> Of Social Work. <BR> As for myself, well, I... Thu, 25 May 2017 10:05:20 EST stuck in a rut...a muddy rut! Not only am I fed up with the weather. I am fed up with the weather reports! <BR> I stayed in today, fully expecting rain storms, as I read on both my weather apps, and as reported by two different weather people on the morning news. <BR> So far, a sprinkle, and no more. <BR> So, as I look at these weather apps, I see we are to go up to 70 percent chance of storms after noon. <BR> Do I chance it? <BR> Get on my walking gear, and head to the track, or sit here waiting it out? <BR> More disappo... Wed, 24 May 2017 11:41:18 EST its always raining in my world That old saying, what goes up, must come down....I really wish someone would tell that to my bathroom scale!! <BR> Once again, RAIN!! I am really starting to wonder what is going on and when and if summer is ever going to actually show up. <BR> For every one nice sunny hot day we have, we get five days of rain, and we have had flooding around here. We dont need any more rain for awhile. <BR> At least I got to walk yesterday. <BR> Will be watching the skies, the second it lets up and I get my ... Tue, 23 May 2017 08:39:17 EST my coffee failed me today I am so so sleepy today. Rain, thunder and wind have kept me indoors all day. Not a total bust, I have cleaned and done laundry and have been trying to finish up a book, but the more I read, the more my eyes roll up in my head. <BR> I took a shower to try to wake up, but it didnt work. <BR> If my hair wasnt wet I might just go to bed haha. <BR> Well, I will try to stay busy, vacuum and fold clothes should keep me busy for a few minutes. <BR> Hope all of you have a nice weekend, and try to kee... Fri, 19 May 2017 11:31:41 EST goals begin with GO! Hope everyone had a great weekend. <BR> I dont think my feet touched the outside of the house yesterday. <BR> It was a lazy Sunday at home. Saturday, was riding day. <BR> <img src=""> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Just a little under 7 weeks until beach vaca!!! <BR> And yes....but of course....I have started my "diet" lol.... <BR> but seriousl... Mon, 15 May 2017 09:59:11 EST the opinion you seek i read this thing on facebook the other day, i cant remember word for word, but the message was, stop sharing so much!! <BR> if you have a job interview, if you are applying for college, buying a house, going on a diet, having surgery, entering or exiting a relationship, etc, etc <BR> dont feel the need to share it with the world. <BR> most people arent going to be happy for you, most people are dealing with their own issues and dont have time for yours. <BR> i guess sp is the one place i don... Thu, 11 May 2017 07:53:41 EST i like a light schedule This has just not been my walking week! <BR> I only got to the track two times this whole week, which really gets under my skin. <BR> Sure, I work out at home, weights, etc, but to me, just doesnt feel right. <BR> Anyhoo.... <BR> on the agenda today, since my sister has to work all this week, we are supposed to take my mom out for mothers day lunch, do a little shopping and get ready for my sons college graduation tomorrow. <BR> Have not had enough sleep and or coffee to face this day yet. <... Fri, 5 May 2017 07:35:37 EST two hair ties kind of a day March May?? <BR> Today the winds are predicted to reach 18 mph. <BR> Wind is really the only thing that keeps me off the track. <BR> I can deal with heat or cold, even a little snow or rain, but wind, I just cant walk when its windy. <BR> I always check the wind before I check the precip or temp. <BR> Going to the track to see how it goes. Maybe I can get a short walk in anyway. <BR> <BR> I have been catching up on my sleep the last few days. Going to bed around 10pm, and letting ... Thu, 4 May 2017 10:06:34 EST this is how we roll!! <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src="h... Tue, 2 May 2017 07:37:59 EST the results are gradual but they are real So thru out my weight loss journey, I have learned, and been reminded often, that results are slow and gradual. <BR> But over time you will see results. <BR> Well, I am here to tell you that is true. Except, it also works in reverse. <BR> In November, I was going thru some very personal troubles, and while I was in a very bad place in my personal life, I was at a great place in my weight loss....could have been the fact that stress and emotional issues killed my appetite and I just wasnt eati... Sat, 29 Apr 2017 08:08:08 EST one step at a time Getting in a day of weight training, since I cannot go to the track. I will just have to settle for the stair stepper, or do an at home walk. Waiting for the glass man to come replace the windshield in the truck, the second one since August!!! <BR> The perils of living in the country I guess. Tree branches, road debris. <BR> Hopefully the man gets here early enough so that I can get in a later walk. <BR> Here is hoping the rain doesnt show up about the same time he does!! <BR> I need to walk... Tue, 18 Apr 2017 07:35:00 EST morels i am loving this warm weather! <BR> I walked 3 miles Monday and 2.4 today, only cutting it short due to the park employees cutting weeds and mowing, etc, getting things ready for the upcoming easter egg hunt this weekend. <BR> i laid out in the sun again today for about half an hour. <BR> enough to try to get some good vitamin d. <BR> and for supper, my friend gave me a ziplock baggie full of dryland fish. <BR> who knows what that is.....???? <BR> if you said wild mushrooms, aka, mountain mor... Tue, 11 Apr 2017 18:16:22 EST i wish for more of them despite being cold enough to turn on the heat on friday, the weekend turned out pretty nice. <BR> yesterday we went riding in the hills with some friends and the biggest problem was the dust. <BR> so very dry, makes you kinda wish for a little rain, but then today was sunny and high in the low 80s.... <BR> i laid out in the sun for about 20 minutes on my front porch. <BR> i love it. <BR> days like today!!! Mon, 10 Apr 2017 15:46:49 EST what remains Just realized its been awhile since I blogged. Not alot to announce. Things are pretty much the same here. <BR> Still dealing with a little bit of life stress but isnt that true with everyone?? <BR> Maybe some poor decisions on my part have contributed to the stress. I own that. I have moved on and me and Honey are working really hard to get our relationship and our life together in the best place its been in a decade. <BR> Maybe some other people whose lives arent so happy cant deal with tha... Wed, 5 Apr 2017 15:06:14 EST not a bad day. Was a nice day today, not alot of sun, but warm enough to leave jacket behind. Drove to the track and walked a little over an hour. <BR> <BR> Came home, did a little weight workout, made baked chicken for dinner and put the first notch in summer vacation planning. <BR> Having a little early buyers remorse, but hoping by June I will be over it and all goes well. <BR> Glad to have the first part done. <BR> Rain is now falling. <BR> Hope its all gone by tomorrow. Mon, 20 Mar 2017 19:55:37 EST