SOFTBALLMONKEY's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=SOFTBALLMONKEY SOFTBALLMONKEY's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Restart http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5814757 The holidays are a great time to try and restart a new lifestyle and lose weight. But here I go again. I have been slipping the last month of more. I reached a plateau of bouncing between 209-215. It was frustrating and It lasted for about a month and I couldn't bust it. So then I let it slip. I stopped tracking as much and not watching my portions. But with the holidays coming and all the fattening food that means at all the parties even if my brother (college athlete and exercise nut) may k... Tue, 11 Nov 2014 09:21:32 EST Update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5805305 I have stumbled yet again. I have stopped going to zumba. I am only walking the dogs the minimum amount. This is proof that if one part of your life is unbalanced and not satisfying you it will eventually seep into the rest of your life. I was doing well with the weight loss. I was feeling good. I was making smart food choices. But I was failing in the choices of life about my job. I am still wallowing in a pit of indecision about it. I am not sure what I want to be when I grow up but the pro... Sun, 26 Oct 2014 22:16:34 EST Fall Season http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5777605 Here it goes again. One of my favorite times of the year...football season and the beginning of the holiday season!!! It is also the worst food eating time of the year. Especially in the South. Every time I go to the store, everyone's carts are loaded down with fattening food. It does not help making healthy choices when that is all that is around when you go places. So far I have not been too bad. These next two weekends will be tricky. I will be going tailgating and to a college football ga... Wed, 10 Sep 2014 23:48:06 EST The view from the plateau vista http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5754001 Plateaus. They are annoying little buggers in weightloss. I can't seem to shake the 211-213 flip. It seems to be staying either one or the other depending on water intake. There are times this plateau makes me want to scream in frustration. But this plateau has a pretty good view because while the rest of my life is topsy-turvy. I have come to realize that this plateau is not a horrible thing. I have come to appreciate my one of my best friends who is on this journey with me for pushing me bu... Tue, 5 Aug 2014 23:23:32 EST Support System http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5706415 Why can family not be as supportive as friends? Maybe it is because I have awesome close friends that are extremely supportive and not judgmental. Where as my family, I know they love me, but they do not always feel supportive of my decisions. I have been struggling with finding real employment and a job that I enjoy. I have attempted going back for a masters but that failed majorly (Probably for more reasons than that was not the right choice). Now I am being pushed back into graduate school... Thu, 29 May 2014 23:11:49 EST Ah-ha Moment http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5693729 This past weekend I got a new "toy," a fitbit flex because I recently lost my SAT and didn't want to lose momentum while I had the willpower. So while I am still trying to figure out all the details of the fitbit and their website, I thought about joining so community groups. As a scroll through the list, I see a group for 100+ to lose group, I started to join it automatically. Then I was hit with an Ah-ha moment. I realized that my goal weight was not 100 pounds away. A big smile popped onto... Mon, 12 May 2014 21:50:36 EST Slipping, Not Stopping http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5683494 I have been bad this past weekish. It has been a gradual slide backwards though. It started with not closely tracking on the weekends when going home. Then it was breaking my routine of up at 5:30 to get in some strength exercises and yoga before work so I would be loose for the 30 day shred. Then I started using the excuse of having a painful blister on my heel so tennis shoes were out. But really all of those were just excuses. I am nit sure why I let myself fall for them when I was so exci... Tue, 29 Apr 2014 20:42:00 EST Mini Goal http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5671740 I have realized that I am horrible about keeping up blogging. It is not because I don't have things to rant about but because somethings I rant about a better for my handwritten journal and then I just don't seem to have enough hours in the day to try and write a blog on top of that, especially one that sounds the least bit eloquent. That is in the past though. I am starting a new goal for summer. It is to write one blog entry at least a week. But as of right now I will just do a brief overvi... Mon, 14 Apr 2014 06:46:00 EST Diet Unrest http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5582423 I don't consider myself on a diet. I am trying to change my lifestyle. I find it troubling that this time of year everyone is trying to diet. I believe that diets to lose weight do not work. Yes, you can lose weight on them but once you stop dieting then 90% if not more people gain back the weight they lost if not more. I was talking to my grandmother about her new diet. It consisted of eating only certain things for only 17 days then move on. The once you lose the weight you want to, the boo... Sat, 4 Jan 2014 22:35:30 EST End of 2013, Start of 2014 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5579895 The holidays were a stumbling block for me. I tried to prepare for them not to be but all the home-made food was so hard to track so I was not as diligent about tracking as I should have been. Plus I got lazy with my exercise. I didn't have a partner with me so I let myself slip on the exercise dates. Although I will say the actual week of Christmas I was too busy to exercise, I was barely home to get anything done. Therefore, I am back to 220. I don't get into the whole resolution thing beca... Thu, 2 Jan 2014 19:24:34 EST Ramblings http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5566402 Even through doing the holiday challenge, I have noticed a lack of motivation to exercise. I have only been getting exercise in once or twice a week instead of 5 days. I also noticed I have started being more lax on tracking food. On the bright side, I have completed two 5ks the past two weekends. Plus I have finished my Christmas shopping before the week before Christmas. <BR> <BR> Lately things have been a whirlwind for me. I have decided to go back to graduate school. Not for teaching bu... Tue, 17 Dec 2013 10:15:29 EST Thanksgiving Happiness http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5554772 I come from a very large family. Being an introvert, Thanksgiving has never been my favorite time because of all the questions about what I am up to and it being at the smallest 80 people. I have always felt self-conscious about my size at this because Thanksgiving dinner is hugely centered on food. This year was the first year that afterwards I actually felt happy with thinking back on it. Almost everyone I talked to commented on how good I looked and I was in my smaller clothes. I just grac... Mon, 2 Dec 2013 05:44:25 EST Stumbling my way back http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5550205 I feel like I have just taken two steps back after this weekend. I know it is okay to slip and have bad days. But I am having a time recovering from those bad lazy days. For the past three days I haven't exercised. Now I know I should go do a video or go over to my grandmother's to use the elliptical. But is seems my just go it muscle has got up and left. I wish that I had a fitness buddy that I could actually work out with so that then I would be more accountable to someone besides myself an... Mon, 25 Nov 2013 20:35:25 EST Naughty Day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5549192 I love my family but as I was thinking back of my choices the past two days. They are sabotaging my lifestyle changes. I know they are not trying to do it on purpose because they are saying how good it is that I am finally trying to lose weight (like I haven't tried before, longer story). Friday was my rest day from exercise. I was possibly considering doing still some light exercise but was really exhausted from the week. But then I was invited out to eat. I said yes because I hadn't seen th... Sun, 24 Nov 2013 15:48:38 EST Cranky (FYI contains some TMI) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5547309 I have been really cranky since I got home tonight. I had a good day at work and then I got to babysit a cousin, which is always fun. But I got home and it is like my cranky switch flipped into high gear. I only did one HITT video. I was suppose to do that video and a yoga video. I started doing the yoga one and started feeling back twinges and just no motivation to do it anymore. It was like I was completely burned out. I think it was a bit from it being already 8:30 and me trying to exercis... Thu, 21 Nov 2013 23:18:26 EST Food Hangover http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5546057 I am not really a drinker. But today I was totally feeling my hangover. Last night for dinner I had a splurge dinner. I was aware it was going to be bad so I sorta prepared for it by minding my calories the rest of the day. Today, I woke up feeling like a truck hit me with a killer headache and body aches. It made for a slow morning where my to do list is still looming over me. It makes me a little leery for the holidays. I am going to take this approach that now I know with this new lifestyl... Wed, 20 Nov 2013 11:04:57 EST Slightly Disappointed http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5545233 I got an email this morning cancelling the family Thanksgiving Turkey Trot 5k I was going to do because there was not enough interest. I was slightly disappointed because I was going to be good for a day typically full of binge eating. I was slightly disappointed when I found this out because I had really debated about doing this race and was just starting to look forward to it. Now I guess there really is no reason not to do the one that is on my birthday besides that fact that I had wanted ... Tue, 19 Nov 2013 12:07:54 EST Positive Comments http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5544402 I went home again this weekend. I was not quite as good as last weekend. I only ended up walking 5 miles instead of 10 like last weekend. The weather was not the best for walking on Sunday. It was overcast and misting on and off. The weather just made me just want to cuddle with my cat. That is all my cat wanted me to do too. But on a plus note I stayed with in my ranges for the weekend. <BR> <BR> Plus my neighbor noticed that I had lost weight. Now while his suggestion was that once you cu... Mon, 18 Nov 2013 14:30:59 EST Just Do It http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5541535 I had to exercise and trick my just do it muscle to get on the elliptical today. I came back from work and was hit with an overwhelming wave of exhaustion. I am glad I did do thirty minutes on the elliptical, especially after a not healthy dinner even though I stayed in most of my ranges for the day. I was about to over rule my just do it muscle that was arguing it would take so much time if you just did it then it could be over. I tricked myself by saying well I will just not if my weight is... Fri, 15 Nov 2013 00:02:59 EST Much Needed Awakening http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5539183 I read STEPH-KNEE's blog, Know when you're kidding yourself. It really resonated with me because it made me realize that is exactly what I have been doing. I haven't been thinking of myself as lying to myself. But as I come closer to my mid-term goal and it is looking like I won't make it. The lies have been coming like "It is okay. You're just hit a plateau." and "It will be easier after the holidays." Well, know I am going to try to work on being more honest with myself. <BR> <BR> In other... Tue, 12 Nov 2013 11:54:25 EST Moving on http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5538437 I had some extra time today because I have been very productive so far today. So I was milling around on the spark people website and I came across the spark diet. I am still in the fast break period even though I have been on sparkpeople since 2009. While I have taken some breaks, I do know that I have been really working on spark people for the past two months. Yet still in the first stage. How are you suppose to move to the next stage? Is it something you do yourself? If so, how? I am a bi... Mon, 11 Nov 2013 16:39:55 EST Good Weekend http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5537738 This was a very productive weekend. I took care of errands. I was able to get my hair cut. I walked the dogs a total of 7 miles this weekend. Plus I attempted a Gilad video with my mom. I also filled my box for Operation Christmas Child. <BR> <BR> I was listening to the radio tonight and Miley Cyrus's Wrecking Ball song came on. I realized the chorus could really be applied to ones relationship with sweets. I mean you want them but they just make you a wreck. <BR> <BR> As of right now I a... Sun, 10 Nov 2013 22:28:12 EST Exercise Goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5536720 Walking the dogs is a good time to think when you are walking two dogs on the road. I think I have come up with a new fitness goal plan for the holiday season. It looks like this. <BR> <BR> Monday-Zumba <BR> Tuesday- Elliptical <BR> Wednesnday -Bike to Work and/or Zumba <BR> Thursday- Elliptical <BR> Friday- rest or yoga <BR> Saturday- Dog walk or Elliptical <BR> Sunday- Dog walk or rest <BR> <BR> There is room for some changes because where I stay on the weekends. I mean ultimately I woul... Sat, 9 Nov 2013 17:29:39 EST Charity Dinner Realizations http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5534986 With this new lifestyle I am noticing things that I am thinking more about things than I would have before in regards to food. It is getting that time of year where there are lots of charity dinners and dinner parties. I mean coming up next week there are two charity dinners and there was one last week too. I am all for supporting Lions Club, the Masonic Lodge, or what not. But the more I am thinking about the dinners the more I think about the difficulty for tracking and how much of a calor... Thu, 7 Nov 2013 14:18:06 EST Lazy Wednesdays http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5534421 Wednesdays have become one of my favorite days of the week. I only have to work a half day and the office is technically closed to customers. When I get off work, I have the best intentions to get a lot of chores done. But most of the time I catch up on some tv and just relax. I even treat myself to a big bowl of popcorn for lunch. While there is a part of me says I should have gone and worked out. I feel so relaxed right now from the none stressful afternoon that I can't even feel that guilt... Wed, 6 Nov 2013 23:46:21 EST Well deserved sleep http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5533403 I am so tired right now I can barely hold open my eyes but I want to post this first. Today, I biked to work. That is one thing I appreciate about daylight savings time is I wake up earlier. I am a light riser. It needs to be light out for me to wake up easily. With biking it means I have to forgo my morning coffee. But this morning it was okay because it was so brisk outside that I immediately woke up. When deciding I was going to bike to work, I didn't realize how windy it was. I turned th... Tue, 5 Nov 2013 22:45:01 EST Reception Bad http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5531201 Eating healthy and keeping track over everything is a learning process. Well today I have learned several things. One that reception type food is very hard to track and very deceptive because why it is all bite size but calorie laden and served generally on a buffet. Plus a lot of time it is hard to tell what ingredients make up things like casseroles. <BR> <BR> Second thing I learned today was that I can't be around chocolate candy. I have not learned enough self-control to limit myself t... Sun, 3 Nov 2013 19:11:02 EST Recount http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5530497 Yesterday was one of those miraculous day where you don't really think you are eating that healthy but then still come in within daily limits. It was one of those days where it is crazy all day at work and then there is a huge technological problem at the end of the day so I didn't get off on time. Then I locked myself out of my car yet again but luckily it worked out getting into the game and staying dry while my mom brought a spare key. But even with the blizzard from DQ as a treat I staye... Sat, 2 Nov 2013 23:18:52 EST First Step http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5527883 I did something today that I have been saying I have been saying since August I was going to do. With this job, I am currently working at it is about 2 miles away from the house. So skinny me is going, "Yea, no driving I can bike to work that is better for my gas bill (fyi, I have an old gas gusselling tank)." But I haven't done it yet because I haven't been able to make myself up early enough to have enough time to bike to work. But today, I was up with enough time to dash and make it on the... Wed, 30 Oct 2013 23:43:16 EST Vanity http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5526953 Okay, let's take the all the medical benefits of me losing the weight. Is it bad to realize one of the big reasons for this lifestyle change is vanity? I mean I generally don't think of myself as a vane person. I am a big believer in it is more about what is on the "inside" and a person's character. But I am also very human in my judgments about how people look including myself. Ultimately, I want to be able to look in the mirror and be able to say I look good, healthy, and strong. Although i... Tue, 29 Oct 2013 23:24:08 EST Laziness http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5521817 My lazy center seems to be controlling my brain and willpower lately. It is starting to get out of control. I mean I haven't exercised in like two weeks. I just can't seem to find the motivation to do it and my "just do it" muscle has completely atrophied. I don't think I will actually be able to run in the 5k in December. It is close to be able to get ready to run that distance. I guess I will be walking it. I mean I haven't even been willing to do the fun exercise I like to do like zumba. ... Wed, 23 Oct 2013 23:19:00 EST Minor Success http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5480981 Well, I have decided to take a temporary receptionist job instead of just subbing for the next few months. So that is the next stepping stone on my way to full-fledged adulthood. But also today was suppose to be a running day with me following the c25k. But my inner fat child is going "no, you are sick no running." So I push it until the afternoon so I can sleep in. So I get ready to run and I am like I am doing to do a mile test. I jogged/walked a mile in 13 minutes!!! Fastest time yet!! So... Mon, 9 Sep 2013 20:51:09 EST Start the crazines http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5471177 The phone is not really something you want ringing before 8 am, especially not for a non-morning person (per my internal fights of getting up early to run). I discovered this today when I was rousing to go run, which means I got the call at 6:30. Hello, I have not even finished my morning rousing up enough to mindlessly run my program. Heedlessly, to say that is the time substitutes are called to come in. Thus one phone call starts the dash to crazy town. I race out the door to get to the sch... Fri, 30 Aug 2013 20:42:25 EST All together now http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5468987 Changes always seem to come all at the same time. Like the week I start training again for my first 5 k (therefore waking up at 6 am on running day, which is hard for not a morning person), I get a call in to substitute, which is exciting because it is my first time in the classroom as the teacher, and a call for a interview for a temp. receptionist position. While these to jobs are in different cities, it is exciting and overwhelming at the same time. It means some early mornings. Oh so fun. Wed, 28 Aug 2013 14:01:09 EST Goal Time http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5463055 For the past few months I have hit a plateau. I have started seeing results and enjoy that but I have slipped back into excuse mode. Before I moved back I made a goal list with short and long term goals. But I have not quite followed through with those goals because I wrote them down in in a place that I did not see daily so I am going to have to find a place to stick them to keep them as a reminder. Then maybe I will have a better time breaking through the excuses I have been feeding myself... Thu, 22 Aug 2013 12:30:59 EST Moody Bad Friend http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5431121 I am the first to admit I do not handle change well. Right now my life is going through a lot of change with moving back in with my mom, trying to find a job, deciding what I want to make my career, no longer being a student but fully an adult. People say what big change there is between high school and college. But the bigger change is once you graduating from college and are no longer a student because there are total different expectation for you. So as I feel like I have no direction or i... Tue, 23 Jul 2013 22:20:02 EST Road Bumps and Vacations http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5401318 I hit a bit of a road bump about two weeks ago. I was just starting to hit my stride with exercise momentum. I had a free week gym trial and was enjoying trying all the classes. But then they had to cancel the rest of the week classes to fix the sound system. Exhausted from multiple classes every day on top of walking the dogs. I slacked off the rest of the week with working out. But then was the family vacation to the keys. So tracking food was really hard because meal times were skewed and... Tue, 25 Jun 2013 11:56:23 EST Killer Humidity http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5377314 I love living in South Carolina. It is home. Generally, I am used to the humidity. But today was killer. There was no afternoon breeze. Although it is muggy in the morning in no breeze and it heating up if you don't get up early enough to workout But that would guarantee I would get the workout done during the day. I think I picked the worst time of the year to attempt to take up jogging. Guess it is still a working progress to find a good time tow workout outside during the summer months. <B... Mon, 3 Jun 2013 22:42:03 EST Progress http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5370602 I am noticing progress. It is exciting and making me want to continue on. I think the biggest thing for me is the fitting into the size smaller clothes. I am down to only one pair of jeans. All my other pants are too loose. Plus when I went to go get a bridesmaids dress for my best friend's wedding, I fit into a size 18 and almost into a 16. I haven't been that size sine I was that age. That is the visual progress that I have seen. While I don't think many people are noticing, which is dishe... Tue, 28 May 2013 16:27:14 EST Changes and Lags http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5348473 This past month has been really busy with the end of my first semester of graduate school and moving back home and trying to find a job. Next week I will be my first week back home. I am excited to be back because I don't like living alone like I have been. So lots of good changes. Well maybe not so much on the still not having a job or what I really want to do, but that is a work in progress. <BR> <BR> But I have not made so much of an effort to fit in exercise. I started out strong in Apr... Tue, 7 May 2013 10:34:15 EST Renew http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5307575 I am the first to say I don't like change. I really done. But this past week I got a good kick in the butt that some change isn't bad. Last week was spring break and I had a friend of out of town coming into visit. i determined that I wasn't going to worry about what I ate that just for one week. It would be my splurge week. I realized by the end of the week I had gotten a sinus infection, headaches and felt worse with all the unhealthy food choice I had been having. I was craving some veggie... Mon, 1 Apr 2013 13:13:43 EST Keeping Going http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5242778 Things have been going for me lately as the saying goes "to hell in a handbag." I have been pretty much abandoned in a new city by someone I call a friend. But I am keeping going on eating healthy. I am really proud of this because I am such an emotional eater. I am proud I haven't given into my emotional food cravings of being sad and lonely. So a pizza, french fries, and ice cream would help me out not in the least. I have noticed how much better just with changing what and the amount I am ... Fri, 8 Feb 2013 11:46:04 EST Update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5203912 I finally got to ride my bike today. <em>334</em> I only went a short ways because the bike trail was really crowded by the house and I am not completely comfortable biking on the roads here yet. It was good to be biking and besides going over the levee I didn't get very winded. It felt good to be exercising again. It is hard for me to exercise inside by myself. I haven't found an inside exercise that I like to do that is cheap and by myself. I like doing zumba and yoga classes but I don't... Sat, 12 Jan 2013 17:08:11 EST Rain Rain Go away http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5200564 I am getting stir crazy. My working out has been thrown off by moving. Now that I am more settled and want to workout it is raining. I have not really gotten into exercise videos. I really want go ride my new bike. I am ready for this rain to go away. Anyone done the Tiffany Rothe workout videos that you can find on youtube? I am thinking of trying them. Besides not being able to workout, I have been fairly good keeping up my new healthy lifestyle. The first day was really stressful so not c... Thu, 10 Jan 2013 13:18:26 EST Frustrated http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5191975 I am aware that getting onto shape is going to take time. But it is still frustrating to my competitive side. Today I went on a new trail on my new bike with my mom. I got frustrated easily because it seem like it was so easy for my mom going on this trail and i was struggling to keep up with her even though when we have been on the one by our house I have been able to keep pace with her and that is a long trail. My mom have been going on a four mile trail around our house but this mile long ... Sat, 5 Jan 2013 18:15:12 EST Reading http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5065169 Generally I try to stay away from diet books because all they will do is try to sell you on the latest craze. But on the library website I saw a title that caught my eye so I decided to give it a try. The title seemed appealing to me because who despite how much you try not to compare yourself to your friends do so the title "six weeks to OMG: get skinnier than all your friends." My brain went"hey that sounds nice. maybe you should see what it is about." Long story short, I ended up requestin... Tue, 18 Sep 2012 16:13:15 EST Feeling Good http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5025558 Today is my second day back to the new change. I feel good. I walked to the library for my exercise. While walking back, I felt a little guilty like I should have done more exercise. I will try to do more tomorrow. Tue, 21 Aug 2012 22:02:02 EST Inspiration http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5021335 Okay, my last blog post was really harsh. There are times when I think the saying "you are your worst enemy" was designed just for me. Or at least that is how I feel. Luckily I am back out of that funk. I just finished watching an inspirational movie (Lying to be Perfect) and it got me thinking that if I don't try then I will always be the same. I want to try again. But I am not really sure how to reach my goals. The movie got me to finally make a goal chart so while I may not know how to rea... Sun, 19 Aug 2012 01:33:03 EST Here Again http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5004404 It seems like I am back again at least once a year. I need to just stick with it. It is not that I don't know that I should stick with it. That the results will make me feel better physically and boost my confidence. But to honest this time will probably not be any different that any of the other times because I do not know how to overcome this mental battle that losing weight is. I am sick of being fat but how do you overcome the mental blocks that have been put into you since a young age. S... Tue, 7 Aug 2012 00:35:08 EST New Year http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4659088 Well, here we are again. New Year. Same weight. So I am going to try a new goal since focusing on a goal weight does not seem to work. Simple seems better. The new goal is 5lbs a month. Whether that would be by continuing to walk around the track everyday or eating healthier. Here we go with this. At least if I stick with it, then that will be 36lbs lighter by the end of the year. Thu, 5 Jan 2012 09:45:13 EST