SMIDGON's SparkPeople Blog SMIDGON's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community MEMORIAL ABOUND I had always noticed while taking Lexie to normal vet checks. <BR> <BR> On the desk at the receptionist area is a battery operated candle. Next to it, is a framed sign which read that if you saw the candle lite, to lower your voice. IT meandt some family was saying goodbye to a beloved pet! <BR> <BR> When her remains came back in her little casket there was a little booklet for me to fill out like it was her writing it. Like her fav. people, treats, etc.. Then it is to be pinned ont... Thu, 21 Sep 2017 06:21:39 EST A KEEPSAKE I wanted to share with you a keepsake given to us from Lexies vet. <BR> This is a clay ornament of her 'handprints' just before she went to the "Rainbow Bridge". <BR> Fashioned after Paw prints on your heart <img src=""> Tue, 19 Sep 2017 06:34:33 EST MORE FAVORITE SPOTS Here are two more favorite spots. I like the effects of the shadows and being taken through a screen door. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> My favorite subjects are animals and scenery. <BR> <BR> I HOPE YOU enjoy <BR> <BR> Janet Mon, 18 Sep 2017 16:04:07 EST FAMILY TIME Our eldest grand daughter aND her husband came down from where they live about 45min away. <BR> Nikki and Jay met us at Bob Evans here in town. We had a most enjoyable lunch. On their way home they were stopping at the cemetery where Nikki uncle (John ) is resting in peace. Nikki is our oldest G.C. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> This is this Being with family. <BR> <BR> Have a safe and wonderf... Fri, 15 Sep 2017 19:16:30 EST Favorite spot Think I can do it now? <BR> Well see! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <BR> This is from my backyard <BR> ENJOY <BR> <BR> Janet Wed, 13 Sep 2017 09:15:22 EST RETREAT Here I go again?! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> My favorite spot in my backyard <BR> <BR> HOPE YOU enjoy Wed, 13 Sep 2017 08:59:52 EST RETREAT This is my favorite spot! <BR> <BR> All in my backyard <BR> <BR> Help! I can't get the stupid picture to click. <BR> How come sometimes it will and other times not? Wed, 13 Sep 2017 06:58:22 EST REMEMBER TODAY Let's not forget today. <BR> <BR> Today is 9-11 <BR> <BR> I have not heard any reference to it this year. <BR> Lets not forget! Mon, 11 Sep 2017 06:34:40 EST REMEMBER TODAY Let's not forget today. <BR> <BR> Today is 9-11 <BR> <BR> I have not heard any reference to it this year. <BR> Lets not forget! Mon, 11 Sep 2017 06:34:31 EST HERE IT IS! Here I am again. <BR> Look at my blog of :Aftermath" That's the pic I wanted this time. <BR> DUH! <BR> <BR> Oh well <BR> Janet Mon, 21 Aug 2017 18:36:43 EST Picture of Lexie I am going to try to post a picture of <BR> Lexie in her Easter dress of 2017. She was so proud. She loved all her clothes. <BR> This was 2 1/2mos before her passing. <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Sorry, I can't seem to get it to download. <BR> I'll try it later. <BR> <BR> Janet <BR> <BR> Mon, 21 Aug 2017 18:27:18 EST AFTERMATH Sat (Lexis b.d.) was a long, sad day. <BR> Sunday, even tho we went to Church, was long! <BR> Today, was laundry day. <BR> <BR> Yesterday I talked with a long x friend (or so I thought ). She said she knew I was still grieving over John. I should just let it go and move on. <BR> <BR> Then she brought up the subject of Lexis' clothes. She said she knew she had beautiful clothes. And she, Joanne had two female pups and her daughter has one. They could use them clothes. I told her ... Mon, 10 Jul 2017 18:23:49 EST LEXIE This afternoon at 3:45 p.m., Lexie went to live with John in Heaven. <BR> <BR> She had been going down hill for some time. We had her to the vet yesterday. He said we should be thinking how long we wanted to prolong it with <BR> Lexie. Her 14th birthday was to be tomorrow. <BR> <BR> By today she wouldn't eat Highly unusual for her. She would eat 24/7. Till today I even had to spoon feed her water. <BR> <BR> To many loved ones leaving us one after another. <BR> <BR> Sorry fo... Fri, 7 Jul 2017 19:02:04 EST FISHING On Monday Christine and family members went to Lake Michigan for Salmon fishing. <BR> <BR> They came home with 15 salmon. 14 approx 7lbs. <BR> However, the large one was between 17 and 18 lbs. <BR> <BR> I am attempting to send a couple pics. (First x ) In the human pic. if there is one. The blonde in the middle is Christine. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <img src=" Wed, 5 Jul 2017 08:16:48 EST TRIBUTE TO JOHN I failed to tell you all. <BR> The picture is of our beloved deceased son, John. And I. <BR> It was taken mid summer of 2016. A matter of months before passing. We were sitting on the porch in front of his earthly home of 25yrs. Plus. <BR> <BR> I am still having problems with letting go. I will go along for awhile. Then it will 'hit me'. For almost 53yrs there was this middle-aged man and a living, breathing soul. <BR> Now it's only an empty 'shell' with out a soul! <BR> <BR> BLESS... Tue, 4 Jul 2017 08:01:57 EST HAPPY Happy 4th of July! <BR> <BR> 👌 Sun, 2 Jul 2017 21:22:33 EST I HAVE RETURNED It's been awhile. The family has been through so much. <BR> After Johns passing. Hubby and I still haven't come to terms with it. Some bittersweet memory can strike and I'll have a melt down. <BR> <BR> The 5th of June marked 8 mos.. <BR> About a month ago, I lost my 30+ yr. BFF . She had a palsy that left her completely bedfast. She was totally dependent on others. <BR> <BR> Our Lexie (the Yorkie ) will be 14yrs. On July 8th. She is aging fast. <BR> <BR> Hubby will be 81yrs ... Mon, 19 Jun 2017 07:53:51 EST HAPPY EASTER It's been awhile since I have blogged! <BR> <BR> It's been a bad winter and Spring. I still miss John so much. Life will never be the same. We visit his grave site every week. They filled it in this week. The stone should be installed after Memorial day. <BR> <BR> I have been visiting my friend of close to 40yrs twice this past week. She has been in a Nursing facility for some time. The last time Wednesday I was there sitting with her husband and holding her hand. She passed aw... Fri, 14 Apr 2017 07:50:17 EST FAMILY - GET TOGETHER Yesterday we made a 40 mile trip up to the nursing faculty where our eldest and Emma, her 50+lb. Pit - Bull service dog are residing temporarily. Emma, appeared happy to see her "Grandma". She just loves company! <BR> <BR> Daughter and her two were there. Youngest, her hubby and her youngest were also. We had the usual empty chair in Johns honor. <BR> <BR> The time was in the conference room. We didn't see any staff at all. All to ourselves. We had it for 3hrs.. <BR> <BR> Then, h... Sun, 19 Feb 2017 07:23:10 EST JOHNS DAY I intended to post yesterday, but, couldn't bring myself to do so! <BR> <BR> John turned 53yrs yesterday. He passed on a Wednesday and yesterday was a Wednesday. <BR> <BR> We went to the cemetery (like any other week) we placed three red silk roses on the grave <BR> <BR> His fav donut is glazed. So we each had one. We had the empty chair and set up like at Christmas Listened to hymns. <BR> <BR> The T-shirt quilt that a co-worker of our younger daughter is making sent pics of ... Thu, 16 Feb 2017 06:14:19 EST I NEED SOME FEEDBACK I have a situation I would like some feedback about <BR> <BR> As you all know our Beloved Son passed away on Oct. 05, 2016. <BR> <BR> We have two daughters who live in In.. The youngest lives in Indy.. the eldest across the state line from us. The youngest came to see her bro. Where ever he was at the time. And she lives 94 mile from us. The eldest living across the state line didn't come until he was in his 9th mo. Of suffering. Not even when he was in the hospital across the road f... Mon, 23 Jan 2017 13:13:56 EST WHERE ARE MY BLOGS? I wrote another blog yesterday but where is it? <BR> <BR> I wrote that yesterday (Oct 05 ) was the third month since John has left us. <BR> <BR> It meandt so much to me to share that with you all ! I miss him so much. <BR> <BR> Now the weather is bad, and I can't get out. <BR> <BR> Hubby's health is decling. It has been bad for quite some time. But with us losing John it has gotten much worse! <BR> <BR> Besides my grief, mine mainly is my balance. I use my cane, otherwise people ju... Fri, 6 Jan 2017 19:00:50 EST WHERE ARE MY BLOGS? I wrote another blog yesterday but where is it? <BR> <BR> I wrote that yesterday (Oct 05 ) was the third month since John has left us. <BR> <BR> It meandt so much to me to share that with you all ! I miss him so much. <BR> <BR> Now the weather is bad, and I can't get out. <BR> <BR> Hubby's health is decling. It has been bad for quite some time. But with us losing John it has gotten much worse! <BR> <BR> Besides my grief, mine mainly is my balance. I use my cane, otherwise people ju... Fri, 6 Jan 2017 18:56:37 EST PERPLEXED! This is my third post in a row. So far all has been rejected. <BR> <BR> All different. <BR> <BR> MERRY CHRISTMAS Sun, 18 Dec 2016 19:27:43 EST HOLIDAYS Hubby and I made it through the THANKSGIVING We didn't go to younger daughters family get-together. We felt we might not be good company since it was the first holiday w/o John ! <BR> <BR> Hubby went and got out carry-out dinner. Then we spent the rest of the day, watching separate TV'S in separate rooms. Long sad day. The main thing is we made it. <BR> <BR> But, for Christmas we have a family get-together. We are going to go for it. It is a luncheon with gift giving. Our eldest... Tue, 6 Dec 2016 06:59:31 EST ANOTHER BUSY WEEKEND Yesterday morning our youngest came in for the weekend. <BR> <BR> We sorted 15+ big black garbage bags of Johns clothes. In October we had gone through some bags. I didn't know men had that many clothes! He had scads of clothes with tags on them. I kept a denim jacket, blue T-shirt and Ohio State jacket. OHIO STATE was his fav..WE TOOK A trunk load over to Goodwi ll, some to a thrift store. She took some home for her son and Hubby. <BR> <BR> Then the rest to her Church's rummag... Sun, 13 Nov 2016 17:00:42 EST LIFE GOES ON! I felt like it was time to blog again. <BR> <BR> After Johns funeral I became sick. UTI . As usual I got a reaction from the shot. I became disornated. Then, itching. <BR> <BR> When I got the notification that John had passed, I felt unusually calm. It was expectef. Just not necessarily then. Even through my calmness, I felt like a hunk of my heart dislodged and sunk to my stomach. I just can't shake it. I'm trying to find little ways to overcome it. He always wanted me to b... Wed, 9 Nov 2016 14:19:29 EST JUST A TID-BIT "The emptiness that only losing a child can bring. " Mon, 24 Oct 2016 17:57:52 EST HELLO, It has been a very long month! <BR> <BR> Somehow we all survived getting ready for the visitation and Funeral. There were many friends of Johns we didn't realize he knew, and many didn't realize he is our son. <BR> <BR> He had a beautiful (if you could put it that way) funeral. Considering he didn't actually 'belong' to any one Church. Our Senior Pastor had the service and our Music Pastor, sang and paid tribute to John. It sure helped us, his family get through it. The family wer... Mon, 24 Oct 2016 06:58:31 EST JOHN MARTIN PAXSON This blog isn't coming through. <BR> <BR> JOHN MARTIN PAXSON went home to be with the Lord at 3 : 45 a.m. this morning. <BR> <BR> Thanks for all your prayers and concerns. Wed, 5 Oct 2016 11:52:12 EST JOHN MARTIN PAXSON <BR> <BR> <BR> John passed away peacefully at 3::45 a.m. this morning, oct.05,2016 Wed, 5 Oct 2016 05:04:52 EST JOHN The papers have been signed for the HOSPICE "COMFORT CARE" TO BEGIN. <BR> <BR> WHILE he's on a regular diet he is only able to eat a little. Sometimes it is only pudding and milk. He's always been a big eater, now it's so disturbing to see him this way. <BR> <BR> He has the trouble chewing and swallowing. I'd like to hug him and kiss him when he's having trouble. But, at the same x I don't want to embarrass him and call attention to it. <BR> <BR> my mind goes back to 1950 at the age o... Sat, 1 Oct 2016 09:23:57 EST PRAYERS FOR John John is declining fast. It's just a matter of waiting for God to call him home. <BR> <BR> He is in the nursing faculty with HOSPICE. <BR> <BR> It's hard to lose a child, no matter their age. <BR> <BR> The family needs all the Love and Prayers you can give them. <BR> <BR> Larry andJANET <BR> CHRISTINE and FAMILY <BR> CELESTE and FAMILY Sun, 25 Sep 2016 08:41:09 EST DEAR JOHN "Dear Lord, help us go on!" <BR> <BR> John started to give us an uneasy feeling over the weekend. <BR> He ate good on Sunday. Monday he wouldnt eat. He became hoarse, had trouble swallowing. Would drink fluids, though. <BR> <BR> Till Monday, I tried to contact ofc. But, as is usual, not one response. If he had gotten any worse, we would have headed to the ER. <BR> <BR> Yesterday was HHC NURSE day. She checked John out, called oncology. <BR> <BR> Finally got started, now diahhra.... Wed, 7 Sep 2016 06:36:16 EST WHO CALLED ? One day while I was out, one of you sweet ladies called! <BR> <BR> I understood it was Linda. However, for the life of me, I drew a blank. Help me out. <BR> <BR> There are times when I think my allergies are bothering my eyes when they tear up. Then I realized that's not what it is. It's tears. I'll get awake in the wee hours of the morning,and I'm thinking of John. Then I'll say the Lord's Prayer to bring comfort. <BR> <BR> One time I'll go to see John and he'll rush to the ... Sun, 4 Sep 2016 15:14:35 EST JOHN John isn't doing so well ! <BR> Please forgive me if I repeat myself. <BR> At this point sometimes I do believe I am losing it! <BR> <BR> I believe I told you all about John test not being well. <BR> In case I am wrong, his tests showed his liver cancer is still there and the spots somewhat larger. There is a cluster on his abdominal wall. They couldn't tell for sure just what it is. They didn't have any reason to believe it was anything else then cancerous. <BR> <BR> Since then... Fri, 2 Sep 2016 05:05:19 EST UPDATE ON JOHN John had another set of tests this past Monday. During the night he vomited. When we took him over for his Chemo, they had already canceled it until next Tuesday. The Chemo isn't working. They are going to try another set of drugs. These can have bad side-effects. Like skin issues. <BR> <BR> The spots on his liver are still there. In fact, they are larger. There is a cluster of something on the abdominal wall. They have no reason to believe they are anything but cancerous... Thu, 25 Aug 2016 17:52:42 EST ONE QUESTION: What is the one thing that makes you feel good about yourself? <BR> <BR> Mine is my hair ! <BR> If my hair looks good, then I can basically deal with anything else. <BR> VANITY? I suppose so, but what the heck, if that is what it takes, so be it. <BR> <BR> I noticed that when I was drinking my morning coffee. I wondered how my hair would look today. If I would need to wear my wig, one of two, which perfectly match my hair color. But what about when I took the wig off? Sun, 21 Aug 2016 05:49:38 EST I don't believe it, the sun is shining, here in central Ohio ! My hair completely dried out. The little natural curl I have, showed up! <BR> I 'picked' it out this morning. The cut was good enough , and styling that it isn't the way like I wanted it, but, it'll do until I go in Friday. <BR> <BR> I prefer to go in twice a week. My arms are weak so it's impossible for me to wash, dry, and style any amount of time. I go to a chain salon that is super aforable. And, with my senior citizen discount, I can afford it. I have been going there for ... Wed, 17 Aug 2016 16:19:10 EST AN UNBELIEVEABLE DAY ! We needed the rain so bad---but, REALLY, enough, enough ! <BR> <BR> Next Monday John has the 3mo. CAT/IMAGING. Then his blood work for Chemo. That's on Tuesday. This round of Chemo is starting to wear him out. Outside of sitting on the porch, he spends much of his time in his room, napping. This is the Good week, if you can call it that. He and I are planning to go out to lunch. I hope it isn't pouring down! His hair is graying (but he is 52). But, his hair is thinning. ... Wed, 17 Aug 2016 06:48:18 EST MIXED BAG OF EVENTS! John had another treatment today! They are making him more tired. <BR> <BR> I had another blood draw yesterday. If that dr calls me again, wanting me to take more b.p meds.. I am going to unload on him. He has me on 4 different b.p. meds NOW. And, my pressure still going up and down. I am so unbelievable zoned now. I can sleep all day, and all night! <BR> <BR> I went to the bank this morning and, stopped at "Dollar Tree ". Got a few things there. Could barely make it ho... Tue, 26 Jul 2016 14:39:47 EST MUSSINGS It is so hot and dry! <BR> We are to get storms which aren't good. I HATE storms! Especially at night. <BR> I had a melt down yesterday. There's Johns Chemo today. Then Larry will have to spend a lot of time with him. He has to have his temperature taken every hour. <BR> <BR> <BR> I am getting things together for the Church's Yard Sale. <BR> <BR> It's one thing after another. <BR> <BR> You all keep safe. Tue, 12 Jul 2016 05:44:00 EST BLESSINGS GOD BLESS AMERICA, <BR> <BR> AMERICA BLESS GOD! Fri, 8 Jul 2016 06:24:47 EST things are in an uproar ! John is still undergoing Chemo. He has made his peace a d periodically talks about the road ahead. I t hurts to hear him do such, but glad he is not in denial. <BR> <BR> As for me, I have been going to the dr a good bit. A lot of blood work. The dr says I look terrific . But I'm not! He called me last Saturday afternoon. He wanted me in there past mo day morning for more blood work. Apparently he is Chec king for low sodium. It mocked FI bro.and CFS. <BR> <BR> Mor... Wed, 6 Jul 2016 14:32:46 EST JOHN John had his blood work this morning. Tomorrow morning he goes for Chemo #2.. <BR> The day after his first one he was getting tired. He has 15 more cycles to go! That takes him to the 28th of December of this year. <BR> <BR> He says he doesn't have pain. But when he walks at xs he will hold his side. I called him on it. But, he denied it. The HHC NURSE told him that he didn't have to have pain. He knows what he has that he can take. I suppose he does. <BR> <BR> Will be b... Mon, 13 Jun 2016 20:49:53 EST UPDATE ON John So far, so good with John. He went back this morning to have the pump removed. <BR> <BR> On the pile of papers they gave us, when they said the Chemo may be indefinitely, do any of you know if that means straight through without a two week break from running tests? <BR> <BR> I can't believe it means Chemo for the rest of your life every other week. Even with us reading <BR> Fri, 3 Jun 2016 11:26:52 EST guessing game Today's blog will be a 2 - part series! <BR> <BR> Someone came to the door, hubby was outside for a good amount of x. <BR> He came back in announcing someone was coming to trim our big beautiful trees. AND, they are doing it for a terrific price. I have seen how some of these yahoo's trim your trees! <BR> <BR> I said they are going to scalp our beautiful trees. O but no they wont. One oother time an outfit did, and eventually the whole tree was leveled! <BR> <BR> the next x I actually... Tue, 31 May 2016 15:07:09 EST Johns acceptance of BAD NEWS. John realizes that Chemo is his only option. <BR> <BR> He talks freely of death and Heaven. There are places he wants to see and places to eat. That is something he has control over. Whatever he wants and we possibly can do, we will see he gets what he wants. <BR> <BR> Lord, have Mercy! Sat, 21 May 2016 15:27:56 EST BAD NEWS ! The bottom fell out of our world this afternoon. <BR> <BR> John is now STAGE 4 <BR> <BR> All three suspicious spots on his liver are cancerous. <BR> <BR> He will have to have Chemo. Indefinitely. <BR> <BR> He will start June 1st.. Wed, 18 May 2016 16:41:26 EST NEWS I thank you all for your prayers. <BR> <BR> we got a call that John goes back to the oncologist next Wednesday for the result of the last testing. He has been complaining about his back hurting. Oh, Lordy, NO! <BR> <BR> please <BR> PRAY, PRAY, PRAY,!!! <BR> <BR> Fri, 13 May 2016 15:02:31 EST