SKYEPHOENIX's SparkPeople Blog SKYEPHOENIX's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Cookies Had a stressful discussion at home, so of course I head to the bakery to grab lunch and pick up a plate full of cookies. They're not even GOOD cookies, but I needed to stuff down these horrible feelings and self-soothe. <BR> <BR> I know. It's a bad way to self-soothe. I know I should find other ways. That's why I'm here--it's going to be a process. <BR> <BR> I'm also trying not to beat myself up--one screw up doesn't mean the end of the world. Still have my sandwich and apple. And p... Thu, 14 Sep 2017 20:05:46 EST Well hello there Looking for an eating plan to follow so thought I'd poke around here again for a bit, and see if anything called to me. Not sure if I'll stay, but thought I'd say hi anyway. <BR> <BR> Wed, 13 Sep 2017 23:01:14 EST January 2014 Been a while since I've been in! :) Things are actually going pretty well for me now--started a weight loss challenge that's pretty extreme but is giving me results. Leaving for Hawaii in a few days. The last of our first 3 kitties passed away in November. :( I've gone all 'mid-life crisis' on my hair and it now sports either purple or blue bits in it, depending on my mood. Hubby and I are still hanging in there. I...don't have more to add on that right now. <BR> <BR> Anyway. The purp... Sat, 18 Jan 2014 16:07:33 EST Day 8.18 Well, the scale finally moved slightly. :) Went back up again after being invited out for pizza and beers with hubby's boss, but at least it's generally moving down. I'm in a 'challenge' of sorts this week with someone in an online fitness group I belong to--so I'm going to be busy busy! Gotta rack up those workout points. :) <BR> <BR> Off-topic: <BR> Hubs and I had what I thought was a good conversation last week. Managed to convey what was bothering me without being demanding or accusa... Mon, 19 Aug 2013 10:04:23 EST Day 8.11 My oh my...I remember making Day 1. It's August already? Where did summer go? Where did the YEAR go?? Lol. <BR> <BR> I'm still stuck at the same weight. Not sure what's going on with that--I seem to be balking at the idea of logging my food again, and I don't know why. Everything else is good and in maybe it's just a lazy thing. Or one of those things where it seems harder to start, but once you get started it's okay. Gotta get over that hump, I guess. Really want to get i... Sun, 11 Aug 2013 14:58:24 EST Day 7.29 Clogged vent the form of a cold lol I appreciate my job, but not necessarily the exposure to the dozens of grubby little germ-carrying darlings each day. I've had so many dang colds this year...and I'm a cranky germ carrier. Nothing chafes me more than not being able to do what I want because of GERMS. Lol. <BR> <BR> I guess it was our anniversary last week, and we both totally forgot lol. Hence we didn't do too much. A nice movie night was suggested, but sitting in a theatre for 2+ hours all... Mon, 29 Jul 2013 12:35:39 EST Day 7.21 Ventilation ....because we all need to air out a little sometimes... <BR> <BR> OT. <BR> <BR> There has to be more to life that this, dear husband. This...sitting and clicking and playing and clicking and playing. When you're on your deathbed--is that what you want to look back and be proud of? That you spent so much of your life killing soooo many bad guys.....on a video game? Is that it? It the hit...the high you get from achieving blinding that you can't see you achieve NOTHING ELSE. ... Sun, 21 Jul 2013 12:30:16 EST Day 7.18 Summer and my posts diminish in frequency. Partly because summer, and partly because I don't have a lot of 'new' stuff to write about--I mainly come in for self-flagellation or pep talks. So.....self.... <BR> <BR> Gotten back into the groove with eating/exercise. Work schedule for the summer has flipped around, so I have mornings off. Morning workouts! Good because it's nice and cool still, bad because it's a little harder to get motivated to leave from home, as opposed to going when I'... Thu, 18 Jul 2013 11:55:10 EST Day 6.25 Messed Wow. My entire fuhking post just got deleted. Son of a B. Soooo frustrated right now. Had a unpleasant dream about my dearly depart Skye last night. 10 months after she passes, I finally 'see' here. In my dream, she didn't want to come see me, and ran into the other room. I remember thinking that she probably wasn't feeling well, but I was worried that she was looking for a place to go hide so she could die, and I was watching her really closely. I also remember feeling very...weary..... Tue, 25 Jun 2013 10:32:54 EST Day 6.23 Enough Well...I've been waffling around the same weight range for close to a month now. Looking at it, I can see where my focus shifted a bit--my workouts were less consistent with the change in my trainer's schedule, combined with...I don't know...other things? Worrying somewhat about my shoulder, getting frustrated when the pain level interfered in my bench press; thrown off a bit by my persistent desire to run a 5k, but my inability to enact a consistent and stable training regimen. Which was ... Sun, 23 Jun 2013 15:33:58 EST Day 6/14 This time Decided to keep my trainer for a while longer. It was *ahem* pointed out to me that I don't always communicate what I want to him very effectively. It's a hang up I admit to having--I've always to talk to. That, added to not wanting to feel stupid in front of someone so knowledgeable. I know, it's all my own making. But hey, at least I get to keep him. :D <BR> <BR> Going for a run shortly. I decided that I really need to dedicate some time and effort to actually... Sat, 15 Jun 2013 21:20:59 EST Day 6.9 Decisions Feeling blah today. Participated in an 8k run/walk race that I didn't train for, thinking I could walk it at least, and run a little bit. Turns out I was dead last in my age group, even with the running I did. I know I"m a slow walker, A little deflating. I felt good about at least going out and doing it at the time, since I was going to bail entirely--now I'm not so sure it was a good idea. Nothing like hammering home how NOT good at something I am. <BR> <BR> Also--have... Sun, 9 Jun 2013 13:20:51 EST Day 6.6.13 Lol Good thing I'm not superstitious! Birthday today. Pretty low key--took the day off of work, and took myself out for coffee, some shopping, and a stop at a new 'yogurt bar' type place. I actually felt pretty crappy and crampy this morning, so made it out later than planned, and didn't get al the things done I'd hoped to do--ah well. Still celebrated me. Gardening and house cleaning this weekend instead. My b-day gift was another 10 sessions with my trainer--good thing my husband is on bo... Fri, 7 Jun 2013 02:12:28 EST Day 6.1 The best month :) You know what's awesome? Getting up the nerve to post a picture of all your hard work--and no one giving a fuhk. A good reminder to myself that things are seldom as big a deal as you make them out to be. <BR> <BR> *looks forward, not back* <BR> <BR> SOOOOooooo.....June! Birthday month! :) Yay. The only thing I plan on doing for my birthday is taking the day off work and taking myself out for a nice latte on a balcony or deck somewhere. Just have to find the deck....:D. <BR> <BR>... Sat, 1 Jun 2013 17:37:36 EST Day 5.30 Baby got Back I think my back is coming along nicely. :) <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> :) Now, I know that what I'm aiming for isn't everybody's cup of tea...and that's okay. But this is only the BEGINNING. <BR> <BR> <em>362</em> <em>23</em> <em>84</em> <BR> <BR> Mar Thu, 30 May 2013 22:39:11 EST Day 5.28 Directional change? This cold WILL NOT DIE. Arrgh. I 've had it since last Saturday, and I swear I've never been more wiped out and exhausted before. I only just got back to 'normal' training yesterday--and I'm still stuffed up and sneezing today. I sometimes wonder if I caught two cold in a row or something--because this is a pretty long time for me to be sick. I'm usually tired for about 3 days and then just stuffy for the rest of week. Hmmm. <BR> <BR> Anyway. DH is out of town all week. It's a little... Tue, 28 May 2013 10:21:48 EST Day 5.19 Flowerless and advancing weight training Lol. My tulips have already left. But my chokecherry (I think?) shrubs are full of little white flowers right now, and all the decorative 'cherry' trees are all pink and in full bloom all around town right now, so it's pretty cool... <img src=""> <BR> Japanese Gardens in my hometown :) <BR> <BR> Bit the bullet and learned squat technique from my trainer Saturday. Very very precise, my trainer is--took pretty much the full hour practic... Mon, 20 May 2013 01:14:08 EST Day 5.12 Progression Extra work day today--procrastinating a bit before I head out lol. The snowy weather finally broke and we've had HOT days for the last week or so--I LOVE it. The only thing I don't love is getting adjusted to wearing clothes that expose more of me to the world. I know in a couple of weeks I won't think twice about it--but right now it's a little awkward. I wore a TANK top to my training session yesterday--egads! Lol. Though given what others wear at the gym, I was still dressed conserva... Sun, 12 May 2013 14:03:20 EST Day 5.1 May MAY PLANS <BR> <BR> WORKOUT--same as before. 4x/wk, strength training, improving my lunges and squats, working on getting closer to a pull-up or chin-up. Hopefully start doing some 5k training runs if it finally STOPS SNOWING lol. <BR> <BR> NUTRITION--same as before. Keeping in calorie range, getting better at knowing what I'm eating without having to track every single day--picking a couple more veggies to experiment with and prep in various ways to see if I can add them to my menus. T... Thu, 2 May 2013 02:27:24 EST Day 4.28 Strange days On a whim I checked my diet tracker as far back as it would go (2008). It was interesting to see the dips and rises--most of the dips corresponded with some kind of event that I was attending--like a wedding or vacation--the rises are...well, the rest of the time lol. I expected the weight gains in the fall leading up to January, and the subsequent January drop (you know, for that new year's resolve I would get), but what surprised me were the slow but steady gains over the course of the su... Sun, 28 Apr 2013 12:00:08 EST Day 4.26 Stupid spring Yes, I said that...stupid spring weather. Lol. I got inspired and dragged out all my spring/summer clthes and tried them on to see what goodies I could unearth and wear yeah. Maybe not. I just........I guess I just didn't far I'd fallen, how much I'd let myself go. I say this because I feel I've made some pretty good progress the last few, I KNOW I've made some pretty good progress...and it's still not enough...which means I was pretty far gone when I... Fri, 26 Apr 2013 02:39:16 EST Day 4.21 Why I was trying to analyze why things were different this time around--basically why I'm still here, still working out, still eating better. I've decided getting too in-depth with the analysis thing isn't always in my best interests (it seems to hang me up somehow) but I can see some of the more obvious things pretty clearly. <BR> <BR> --I'd had enough. Crappy, crappy year of crap made me realize there are a lot of things I can't control--but this, this I can. So I will. <BR> --Realizing tha... Sun, 21 Apr 2013 13:36:47 EST Day 4.13Things I can't tell my trainer Because he's a BOY. And I'm very protective of my innermost thoughts and feelings about things involving me. And feel weird and squirmy and embarassed at the idea of sharing it with him. Though I think I'd probably be hesitant even if he were a she, just because, well...I'm very protective of my innermost thoughts and feelings lol. Except here, which is weird...but maybe not, because hey, none of y'all know me in real life. So that makes it okay somehow. Ha. So weird. <BR> <... Sat, 13 Apr 2013 14:12:49 EST Day 4.10 Already Seriously, where does the time go? Though to judge by our weather, it's still the middle of winter here--bleah. So far my tulips have survived though...go tulips! <BR> <BR> Another workout session with the trainer logged. I still like that he pushes me a little out of my comfort zone doing exercises I would never normally do (read: anything with a frikkin' bosu ball lol). It's usually the exercises you DON'T like that you should be doing the most. No other changes to my eathing thus far... Wed, 10 Apr 2013 10:42:00 EST Day 4.6 Zoom It's April 6th already? Yikes--guess I should start my 8 wk running program NOW for the 8k on June 8th. <BR> <BR> Meh. I don't really care about that so much. Running a 5k? Definitely. "Having" to be ready by a certain day? Nah. I might still go and walk it, good for the exercise and the view and the t-shirt and the breakfast afterwards. :) <BR> <BR> Taking the plunge and hiring my trainer for with the long-term package--lasts till end of Aug. I should probably take some measurements ... Sat, 6 Apr 2013 15:12:01 EST Day 4.2 One of THOSE days Forewarning: SUPER cranky right now. I've hit that 'worse before it gets better' part. <BR> <BR> I was so stoked earlier--the weather was just gorgeous, full on summer temp. :) I decided it was perfect weather for relaxing outside on my lawn chair for a bit. In a sundress. Mistake number 1 and 2. <BR> <BR> I got out a lovely sage green leaf print dress that I'd bought towards the end of last summer. I remember it being very snug, but flattering, and was looking forward to seeing if i... Tue, 2 Apr 2013 22:11:39 EST Day 3.30 *pin drop* Lol it's so quiet on my friend feed you can hear a pin drop. Where my blog writers be at?? Must be the nice weather/easter weekend. :) <BR> <BR> Went to the gym yesterday afternoon. I didn't think about it till I got downtown and realized that I already had yoga pants on, and my gym bag, and it was a nice quiet day...except no sports bra or decent workout shirt. So....I did what any red-blooded girl would do--stopped at the store and bought a new sports bra and shirt! (on sale!) Lol. No... Sat, 30 Mar 2013 13:56:34 EST Day 3.28 Calming down So, after my mini freak-out about logging and cals and eating and such, I've come back down to normal. After talking about it more in-depth with my trainer today, I'm simply going to focus on one main thing at a time (though I'm free to try and adjust other things if I want/feel ready to). The next couple of weeks--eat breakfast. Nice and simple. As much as I want, strong preference to whole food-type things (oats are good), some protein. The key is to do it every day. I'm very hit and ... Thu, 28 Mar 2013 23:40:56 EST Day 3.27 So yesterday kind of fizzled. Tried working out after work and just couldn't get my head in the game--combo of tired, too warm, and really distracted. I'm not sure what was distracting me exactly--just kept thinking about everything but the actual workout. So I cut my workout short and went veggie shopping instead. :) Made a nice salad for supper last night--supposed to be eating more veggies, so there ya go. <BR> <BR> I am frustrated with the scale though--which I knew would happen once... Tue, 26 Mar 2013 10:25:36 EST Day 3.25 All the things The weather may actually cooperate with me today--I've decided to walk/run/jog/whatever 5 kms, and see how it goes. Free form. :) It'll be interesting to try and find a proper route around here that doesn't go into the heavy traffic flow areas.... <BR> <BR> I've decided that, if I were free and single, and my trainer were free and single, I'd totally get with him. *ahem*. Lol. What can I say? Muscular physiques are my weakness. Lol. <BR> <BR> <em>4</em> <em>211</em> <em>334... Mon, 25 Mar 2013 10:45:32 EST Day 3.20 SPRING! I have so much tumultuous and emotional stuff going on in my head, but I can't seem to clarify it very well, so my posts end up being about pretty mundane stuff, with a few nuggets thrown in here and there. Sorry, just not too exciting these days. :) <BR> <BR> Spring! And the weather is even threatening to cooperate tomorrow (or should I say today since it's after midnight) with some double digits. My afternoons are now more freed up, so I might even get an outside walk/run in. :) <BR> <... Wed, 20 Mar 2013 02:37:34 EST Day 3.14 Happier times So hard to carve out blog time! One more shift at 3rd job and then done! Yay! It's only 1.5 hours, but right smack in the middle of my day, which makes it really difficult to get anything done that requires more than an hour. Can't cook anything like a roast because I don't like leaving the oven on unattended, you know? Can't go to the store because I have to rush through. Can't unwind because I have to get ready right away. Can't always finish my gym workout properly because I'm watchi... Thu, 14 Mar 2013 10:51:36 EST Day 3.11 Ask and ye shall receive Want to write a long blog. Too tired. DH's happy with new job so far, out of town 3 days this week. Training going well, weight loss still stalled, shoulder still bugging me but back is slowly getting better with physio. Spent Saturday with the cat rescue that burnt down--I visited little injured ones in hospital, DH dug out the ones that didn't get out of the fire. :( 24 lost in total. 23 at the vet. 7 still MIA--won't have access to the basement of the home until the rubble is cleare... Tue, 12 Mar 2013 01:55:58 EST Day 3.6 Blank Coming up with a blank for a good title. Oh wait....there lol. <BR> <BR> Workouts are progressing nicely. I notice the more I rest between workouts, the stronger my lifts are. My main frustration right now is my weight...up again from my new low. I FEEL smaller, but it's difficult to tell since all my clothes are stretchy! Lol. Even my workout bras. :-) I think my lats are getting broader though. So maybe it's muscle gain lolol. <BR> <BR> There's been so much tragedy around me lately... Wed, 6 Mar 2013 14:46:31 EST Day 3.1--New Feels new. Can't believe it's March already. <BR> <BR> Been a little melancholy today. No reason behind it, just missing my kitty a lot for some reason--enough to cry for a while. I don't imagine I'll ever stop crying about it. <BR> <BR> Trainer day today. His purpose right now is to introduce me to a variety of different exercises--beyond the 'usual' stuff that everyone knows and does. He really likes using bosu and stability balls, and focuses a lot on exercises that either work wh... Fri, 1 Mar 2013 21:28:34 EST Day 56--new tracker and how I FEEL-literally! <link> </link> <BR> <BR> Shameless plug!! If anyone is looking for a new or different tracker, give this a look. It's kind of fun. Plus if I get 10 ppl to join I get a free something or other lol. It's really good for weight training tracking, gives points, keeps progress charts, highlights your best set to date, etc. I think it does the same for cardio as well, but I haven't tried it yet. It's also nice finding a community of weight-training oriented people. I feel l... Mon, 25 Feb 2013 17:29:30 EST Day 52--Follow up So, attempted my first 24 hour fast yesterday. <BR> <BR> I didn't technically do a 'full' fast. Had my coffee with creamer in the morning, and another cup at lunch. So that's a couple hundred cals. Plus around 4ish I couldn't take it anymore and ate a piece of cheese. Finally ate supper at 8:30, so in total a 22.5 hour 'fast'. <BR> <BR> I'm not sure that it's for me. I will try another one again next week on my off day, mainly to gather more info, but...what I was told and the realit... Thu, 21 Feb 2013 10:35:09 EST Day 51--Reset Been looking at Eat Stop Eat by Brad Pilon lately. Think I might try a 24 hour fast and see how it goes. I've been eating way too much since the weekend, and don't seem to be able to stop. Today seems ideal to do it since it's my non-gym day, so I won't require the readily available cals for my workout. I'm not sure I'll make the full 24 hours, but even 16 would be okay too. The key for me is to remember to eat a nice, NORMAL meal after the fast to break it, not scarf down 1000+ cals. I... Wed, 20 Feb 2013 10:44:26 EST Day 49--Oh there I am I should know better than to get so darned cocky. The old Mar came back out in full force this weekend--sitting and eating, eating and sitting. I just love to nest in the winter, and my favorite thing to do when I'm nesting (next to posting endless FB memes and funnypics) is eat comfort food. Whoops. So my scale is waaaay back up...really hoping it's all the salt in my pesto for the last couple of days. <BR> <BR> Trying to rouse myself to be a little more productive on my last day off--b... Mon, 18 Feb 2013 13:27:53 EST Day 46 What a day My trainer pissed me off today. :) I'm not the kind of person that usually gets irritated at the gym--I"m willing and able to try just about anything, and give my best effort at it. I notice that I REALLY don't like being on uneven ground, though...and guess what we did today? :) Bosu ball. UPSIDE DOWN bosu squats. That stupid thing is impossible to get on and off of alone. So for a little while, his nickname was a lot less pleasant than 'yoda'. (in my head, I never call him the nicknam... Sat, 16 Feb 2013 01:52:46 EST Day 43--Logging observations *the effing IE just rebooted and ERASED half my blog. GRRRRRR. Trying again now* <BR> <BR> Decided I needed to track my food and see exactly how much I'm overeating at night. And guess what? SURPRISE I'm not hungry. Lol. I tried to be, honest! But I just wasn't. At all. Managed 1100 measly calories yesterday, and had no desire for more (cramping/hormones today explains the deviation in appetite). much for that experiment. Guess it'll be a few more days...except, I've also b... Fri, 15 Feb 2013 02:58:51 EST Day 42--Shoulder My shoulder was killing me yesterday--going to try and move up my physio appt. I'm very fed up with having my workouts limited and having trouble working because my shoulder is so weak. It feels like everything is stuck in the wrong place (again) and needs to be readjusted (again). I really hope it can get fixed more permanently. Those physios arent' cheap! <BR> <BR> I'm also fed up with the scale. It needs to move NOW. So no more ridiculous 'checked out' eating. To that end, I did ge... Mon, 11 Feb 2013 10:36:02 EST Day 41 I kept thinking about what my trainer said a few days ago--that I probably burn about 3000 cals a day easily. Which is ridiculous. Right?? So I thought I should set about proving him wrong. <BR> <BR> I took my 8 hour work day, and subtracted any time I was passively working (not pushing a vacuum or mop--yes I'm a professional cleaner, embarassing at my age but whatever), so I figured out 6 hours. Then I checked several different sites for cal burns for cleaning, vacuuming, mopping, gene... Sun, 10 Feb 2013 13:05:21 EST Day 39--TIIIIIIRED. I am exhausted. Bloody HeII. Nothing like getting a little under the weather for a few days to really run you down. I am so, SO happy there is a 3-day weekend coming up next weekend--though I wish it were now! Lol. <BR> <BR> Took 2 days off from the gym, my muscles are finally not sore. :) Going in today, so it should be a good workout. Always enjoy ending a work week with a gym session. <BR> <BR> Job interview was....interesting. Not quite what I had in mind. The net pay increas... Fri, 8 Feb 2013 10:36:33 EST Day 37--Where are you? ..I was going to say in terms of sticking to your NY resolution, or fitness plan. But I've also noticed a few of my regulars on my feed are MIA. Where arrrrreeee youuuuuu? Come out come are missed. (hugs) for those having difficulties. <BR> <BR> Moi--still going strong. Not sure how long my extra income will last for my trainer--but he is focused on showing me a variety of different exercises for each bodypart, so even if I have to forego him for a while, I will have a good, s... Wed, 6 Feb 2013 10:39:51 EST Day 33 or 2.2 :) Germs!!! ...they got me. Coming down with a cold--though hopefully not the one that my co-worker had that lost her voice for 3 days! :) Good times. <BR> <BR> Training session yesterday was fun. Is that a word that can be used for training? lol. I did, however, get a little too low on my last squat, managed to push it out, but seriously felt nauseous right after. I always wondered how it felt to 'workout until you puke' like those BL people. I'm good, thanks--all I needed to know. :) Surprisi... Sat, 2 Feb 2013 17:03:29 EST Day 31-The LAST DAY .....that I can easily date my posts. Lol. After this, it'll be a mathematical calculation everytime....31 plus...what day is it? Oh yeah....that day. Silly little things that I get lazy about. :) <BR> <BR> Physio appointment this morning. FINALLY he did some stuff...manipulated me so the 'knot' in my shoulder is gone. Ahhhhhh. Seems the knot was actually the rib/vertebrae almost moving out of place, so he stuck it back IN place. The 3rd vertebrae, to be specific. Heh. I'm still sor... Fri, 1 Feb 2013 02:39:01 EST Day 30-still with the owie lol. Yep, I'm STILL sore! I thought the soreness would alleviate (usually does) 2nd time around, but apparently not. I think I need to put a little more time into my stretching after my workout--see if that helps. I was going to workout yesterday as well at the day before (workout Mon Tues, off Wed, Thurs then Fri with trainer again) but just too sore. <BR> <BR> I am kind of....busy? Me? It 's weird. I find I may have to start limiting my internet time or something--haven't had time to writ... Wed, 30 Jan 2013 10:23:20 EST Day 26--Just STOP. I am soooooore. Owie owie ow. <BR> <BR> My new and improved routine on Wed was awesome--but soooo sore the next day! And still sore when I worked out Friday. Struggled with some of the weights that I had no problem with on Wed, I assume due to soreness. Lol. This is what I wanted, right? :) <BR> <BR> Was looking at my legs and butt in the mirror yesterday. Not a pretty sight, but I didn't get despondent over it like I used to. They will never be (and never have been, had cellulite and... Sat, 26 Jan 2013 14:21:17 EST Day 23--is it Friday yet? lol and...TRAINER! :) Tomorrow is my first Friday! :) One of my jobs runs Mon-Thurs, so it always feels like a mini-Friday. :) Yay! <BR> <BR> All is right in my work world again. Long story short, my breaks are what they should be, it wasn't my fault, everybody's happy. Phew. I'm determined to make sure this job is non-drama and as minimal of a stress point as I can make it, so good news on all fronts. :) <BR> <BR> My stupid cat (he's male, shocker)--you know, the one that fell in the tub? As soon as I tur... Thu, 24 Jan 2013 02:35:58 EST