SIMPLIFYLIFE's SparkPeople Blog SIMPLIFYLIFE's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community I just can't find it... I keep looking but I just can't find it. Where is my motivation, my drive? That thing that pushes the other people at the gym to be successful? I go each day and push myself through less than extraordinary workouts. I get the job done, but it's not the job I need to do in order to get those amazing results that they all have. <BR> <BR> I got myself down to 132.5.. and poof I yo yo'd up to 136... I am now down to 135.. It's not devastating but it's certainly not encouraging. I've been l... Wed, 8 Aug 2012 10:06:31 EST Work update.. warning whiplash coming.. So .. work. yah. Ok.. well I took the part time closer to home but more hours with benefits position right? Still waiting for the actual transfer to occur.. I am literally ONE week away from it happening and guess what I go and do? <BR> <BR> I apply for the full time job at my current site.. you know the one that is further away from home... second shift.. guaranteeing I'll never see my older kids.. and yes I am depressed...BUT.. it's necessary. <BR> <BR> My husband is applying for disab... Wed, 8 Aug 2012 10:02:08 EST Getting Closer... I really should write up some motivational type blog entry so people could get an idea of what my journey has been like.... the ups.. the downs.. the no movement at all.. the sliding so far back I could cry my eyes out.. and the now. The 7lbs away from my goal weight. Well the goal I set for myself anyways.. I don't believe in the ideal weight for my height build as being applicable or intelligent for a woman of almost 40 yrs who has had three children (115lbs). I'm aiming for 125lbs. ... Thu, 2 Aug 2012 09:49:37 EST Tiny yo yo Well that date night out with hubby cost me.. but I am only 1lb above my 135.8.. so I am accepting it and reminding myself to focus focus focus!! <BR> <BR> I've been walking more even with the killer heat and am of course still doing fifty million things around the house/yard to prepare for daughter's sweet sixteen party on Labor Day weekend. <BR> <BR> Today I will be outside painting the enclosed run that hub built on our new chicken coop. I can't wait to take pics and post them of th... Wed, 18 Jul 2012 08:28:01 EST What did you say?? (my scale) Really? I asked my scale this morning. Are you sure?? Ok well let's try it again to be safe.. <BR> <BR> OMG OMG OMG... 135!!!! Ok well 135.8.. but hey I saw 135.. and danced for joy! Of course I got off the scale before dancing.. couldn't injure my buddy when it's being so nice to me. LOL <BR> <BR> Ok gulp.. let's hope it's not two weeks of fighting to maintain the 135... That seems to be my MO... <BR> <BR> So.. 135 is what I weighed when I met my husband 5 yrs ago. It's what I w... Thu, 12 Jul 2012 08:10:52 EST Maintaining 137... Well it seems like I have hit a groove of maintaining my current weight of 137. I am not complaining as it means I am no longer yo yo-ing.. which I had been doing from 138-142. yikes!! <BR> <BR> Two weeks of solid 137 here.. and eventually it will go lower. <BR> <BR> Right now exercise is not on hold per se, but changed in format. We are preparing for my eldest daughters sweet sixteen. How's that a workout? Well lets see this last Sunday my eldest stepson and I shoveled 5 yds of mulch.... Tue, 10 Jul 2012 08:00:22 EST Post Holiday Happy... Not too much to say.. other than yesterday was a wonderful Fourth.. and I am off again today. Two days in a row feels like a vacation! I am loving it!!!! <BR> <BR> I am back in the groove of walking or doing a Lesli Sansone dvd every day. I did take yesterday off but was in the pool with the little man for a while, so that helped a teeny bit. <BR> <BR> I went off low carb for two items yesterday.. blech.. I really felt it after eating them. I notice the moment I eat grain/bread again ... Thu, 5 Jul 2012 07:50:29 EST I decided - work I decided to simply move forward with the position that is closer to home. It's got benefits even though they are more costly each month, I know they are there. I think I am going to like the hours too.. I know that I am going to really like seeing the 8 hour weekend shifts in my paycheck!! On weekends we get about $4 more an hour for working second shift and weekend shift. woo hoo! <BR> <BR> I got my transfer date and I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. As of July ... Wed, 27 Jun 2012 06:55:06 EST Where I've been.. aka LIFE! Oh gosh how can I keep up with spark? I am fighting to make sure I keep up with my diet properly..and every now and then I squeak in some exercise. Not that the things I've been doing around the house haven't counted for some caloric burn.. but it's not my real exercise program by far. <BR> <BR> So let's see..It's summer! I'm still in a holding pattern for the job that is 2nd shift closer to home. It's mine.. been mine for almost 5 weeks now. But because we have a lot of new people to h... Tue, 19 Jun 2012 08:02:19 EST I made it!!!! 138!! And today the scale said.... 138!! That happy number was/is my first goal. It's the lowest I weighed after my son was born just prior to that messed up surgery I had where I put all that gosh darn weight on. This month last year.. I weight 190!! I am a whopping 52lbs lighter!! YEAH BABY!! <BR> <BR> Now I can start hopefully watching the scale move down towards my eventual goal of 125! <BR> <BR> YIPEE! I am soo doing a happy dance!! <BR> <BR> <em>236</em> Thu, 17 May 2012 07:07:37 EST Job comparison.. input/thoughts? I am one of those people who makes lists. You know.. Pros and Cons lists. I calculate it all out.. tally the pros, the cons, crunch the numbers and then I make a decision. Yes I am difficult to live <BR> <BR> So tomorrow I have the big job interview. IF IF IF I am offered the job.. it would be returning to full time 40 hours, M-F, no nights, weekends or holidays. Can you see a plus in that I'd have my family time back? WOO HOO. When it comes to $$ it actually works out to b... Wed, 16 May 2012 11:57:20 EST Clothes shopping! I hate shopping for clothes.. Literally hate it. I am 5'2" tall and have always (no matter what my weight) been pear shaped.. I've got a wonderful booty and great birthing hips *lmao* <BR> <BR> Hub is my wonderman.. he is my personal shopper and does really quite well for me. He bought me three new outfits this past weekend with the kids for Mother's day. All the capris are size sixes! woot woot! I am not truly a size six.. but in some things I am. Weird.. <BR> <BR> Today I went sho... Wed, 16 May 2012 11:42:16 EST Pinterest Anyone? Especially LC'ers!! Hey Everyone.. if you are on pinterest let me know. I am there under my name, so I will message anyone who is interested in connecting. Especially those Sparkers who are living LC. I am collecting an awesome amount of LC recipes over there. There are some great boards there for LC recipes. <BR> <BR> I must admit I haven't been hard core LC'ing..but with this new found stash of recipes I am really looking forward to getting back on the bandwagon. <BR> <BR> I also do a lot of pinning fo... Wed, 9 May 2012 07:24:41 EST Consistency.. IN LIFE! It's funny how easy it is to forget that consistent habits will bring about change. We've got a lot of struggles like most American (and heck I honestly believe global) families have these days. Adding into our financial struggles is a very large family size to support. I have begun looking for ways to make a stronger financial contribution to our family by different ways than simply making more money. Looking for multiple ways to cut costs I've sourced recipes for making my own laundry d... Tue, 8 May 2012 08:03:14 EST Jealousy Ok I am going to toss it right out into the open. Nothing can be said to camoflouge (sp?) it in any way. Ex husband, his wife and sister have been doing the very expensive Ideal Protein diet for months now. Ex and his wife had a severe obeseity problem, while his sister was more like me.. just battling oh about 30 or so extra lbs. humph.. <BR> <BR> Anyways from what I gather.. they have all lost significant amounts of weight. Ex looking the best he has in years (possibly even when we me... Mon, 7 May 2012 07:15:12 EST Talk about sick... Well I would like to say that I am totally better after coming off two weeks of ridiculous illness, but I still live each day with a cough that doesn't go away, and headaches that never end. sighs. <BR> <BR> I spent two weeks ill.. one week with a viral infection turned into flu turned into upper respitory infection. Lost a full week of work from this mess. I am still feeling like I could nap daily and would love for this persistant cough (down to mornings and evenings) to be gone. Oh an... Tue, 17 Apr 2012 13:29:24 EST 46lbs in 10 mos.. pics Ok I meant to post these pics a few weeks ago but time rushes away from me. Here I am in May of 2011 with my daughter at her 8th grade semi formal. I was at my highest weight of 189... Second pic is of me proving to a friend how much I sweat after working out.. lol (Gosh I am brave posting this nasty pic, but it's all I have of me in current shape)....March 2012 143lbs. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <BR> and now.. <BR> <BR> <im... Fri, 30 Mar 2012 13:53:45 EST Mood has been lifted! The funk is outta here.. How does that happen when nothing in life has really truly changed? I'm not sure... but I know I did my best to make a conscious decision to allow myself my cheats on the weekend and regroup, refocus and start again on Monday. The 1lb I gained over the weekend is gone.. plus the 1lb I gained last week.. so I am officially back down to that 143 number I was at... Let's see if I can eventually get to 142.. lol <BR> <BR> I've worked out every single day this week.. ... Thu, 29 Mar 2012 07:37:16 EST I am so blah..and I cheated this weekend. I am really feeling blah lately. My life is just not where I want it to be. Sounds like lots of folks on here I am sure. I am just so tired of always struggling. We rehomed two of our three cats this weekend to my stepsons farm. Got tired of one constantly pooping behind our washer and dryer and the other began peeing and pooing on my sons bed a few weeks ago. Apparently he'd been doing it on my daughters bed too, but she was cleaning it without my knowing. sighs. So that added to my... Mon, 26 Mar 2012 10:40:44 EST Blah Just feeling way too blah and stressed out lately. I am stuck at 143 with a yo you thing up to about 144 and then back again. I am thinking what the heck am I doing all this for with no further results. My trainer has told me I have to increase the intensity of my cardio workouts.. come on.. I am so happy I can get done what I can. <BR> <BR> So I am feeling blah.. life has been icky this week and I have really been struggling with some personal issues on top of it all. I keep going to ... Fri, 23 Mar 2012 20:37:34 EST the bike kills lol Today was my first day on the bike.. ouch.. But I know it's good for my knee which is already feeling better taking one day off from the treadmill. I am starting to dislike my trainer intensely lol. He is tough..but I know I need this. It's just so hard to go from being a slug to being a motivated person who truly pushes myself. <BR> <BR> Tomorrow is a trainer day. Tony is of course going to kick my butt again. oomph.. Wed cardio, Thursday trainder day, friday cardio and Saturday I kn... Mon, 19 Mar 2012 21:37:12 EST I missed a day.. I missed a day at the gym (yesterday) and was absolutely furious. Not going to get into the reasons why and or make this a witching session.. just letting you know.. I missed a days workout and it cheesed me off big time. sighs.. <BR> <BR> Got back to it again today.. did a good job, but my left knee is hurting, so tomorrow I am going to try the bike and see how that is... hopefully I can burn as many calories as I do on the treadmill. Maybe it will become a new favorite?? Sun, 18 Mar 2012 18:42:56 EST I actually ASKED for more??? Thus far I've been doing 2 days of strength training with my trainer for 1/2 hour each time, followed by a half hour of cardio. My *off* days are an hour of cardio minimum..but usually an hour. So today what the heck was I thinking???? I asked my trainer after my hour of treadmill... to show me something I could do on my own for a third day of strength training. OMG!! I am sure I am nuts!! <BR> <BR> He showed me three machines, that work chest, arms, abs and then legs... in between eac... Fri, 16 Mar 2012 13:19:38 EST One Month Results are IN!! I officially joined the gym a month ago. Had to take one week off for my shoulder injury. <BR> <BR> Here are the results of 3 weeks worth of gym and diet.. <BR> <BR> 6lbs lost!! <BR> 2" off my arms <BR> 1" off my thights <BR> 3.5" off my waist <BR> and...2" off my hips! <BR> <BR> HECK YA!!!!! Wed, 14 Mar 2012 12:23:46 EST May 2011 til now... In May 2011.. I weighed my highest weight since my son Cole was born in Jan 2009. I topped the scales at 189...5'2" tall. <BR> <BR> 10 mos later I am down to 145lbs!! I still have a ways to go, but am definitely celebrating the almost 45lbs I've lost with the help of SparkPeople and most recently my gym and diet regiment. <BR> <BR> Mostly though I am thankful for my mindset finally getting back to where it needed to be and my committment to my own health and well being! I am proud of... Mon, 12 Mar 2012 10:58:25 EST It's really happening! Ironic that I should be surprised by this, but I am. It's really happening. I am finally losing weight!! Hub and I went to the gym again tonight. Not as much fun as yesterday as we decided wisely to give my hand a chance to feel a bit better as I boxed with gloves but no tape yesterday. So he's picking me up tape and I will box again next weekend with him. <BR> <BR> Tomorrow is a weight training day with my trainer, as is Wed. Tuesday/Thursday/Friday/Sat and Sun will be cardio as usual... Sun, 11 Mar 2012 18:45:40 EST Hot DATE at the gym with Hub!! Hub and I went to the gym today. I love the days we get to go together.. they are few far and in between. His MS really slows him down one cardio, and he has an injury to his ankle right now. So after a half hour for him on the treadmill he went and hit the machines. I kept up my treadmill.. varying incline and speeds and jogged for a whole 5 mins! Ok for me this is huge.. I am proud.. Yes I will take a bow! <em>20</em> <BR> <BR> 50 mins and hub was done, so I cooled down and went ov... Sat, 10 Mar 2012 18:22:49 EST PSYCH!! INCHES!! BABY!! Ok so I play with lbs... when I injured my shoulder I popped right back up to 153lbs.. and I'd been down to 147. I never put it on my ticker cuz I refused to acknowledge it and knew I'd get back to 147 and drop more from there. <BR> <BR> Well I did make the 147.. lost almost 3lbs just this week alone! So here I am feeling proud and yet grr.. frustrated (yah that's usual for me).. because the scale doesn't say 146. Oh those darn numbers.. why must I obsess so. <BR> <BR> This morning I dec... Fri, 9 Mar 2012 07:12:45 EST Screw the stress! I am so tired of life not changing, nothing changes, except the different types of stress you deal with. It's never ending. I keep my mouth quiet.. I never share what's going on and I just push on through.. dealing with it all every single day. Other people in my life prefer to whine and whine in a public format.. Not me. Just push push push.. <BR> <BR> Today I went to the gym almost in tears.. just so tired of the non stop stress/negativity and bull. My trainer said hello and I almost... Thu, 8 Mar 2012 11:02:35 EST Day 11 or the beginning of week 3 at gym! They say it takes 4 weeks to make something a habit right? Well I am rolling on into my third week of working out at the gym as of today! I'm pretty damn proud of myself. Last week I burned 2100 calories for the week! Woo Hoo!! <BR> <BR> This morning alone was 519 calories!! Looking forward to a really successful week. <BR> <BR> Mon, 5 Mar 2012 11:10:34 EST Hub update... Well neuro says it's not the MS, Cardio doesn't think it's the heart but is ruling out for sure via a stress test this morning. Both are actually leaning towards it being good old fashioned acid reflux which he's never had before, as it mimics chest pain from a heart attack very well. So after stress test and running back to work for the day, he'll leave once again and see his primary care this afternoon. He has continued to have the pain all week, but it's worse in the morning and gets be... Fri, 2 Mar 2012 07:03:19 EST Hospital with Hub Ended up at the hospital with hubby on Friday into Saturday. Chest pain.. They can tell he is having pain but are unsure of what is causing it. We are beginning to wonder if it's not MS related, seeing as how his lesions are all right side brain effecting left side body function. <BR> <BR> Today we call neurologist.. next week he has an outpatient stress test. He is still in a lot of pain now...but ignoring it as he normally tends to do. Said what does it matter.. they can see I have p... Mon, 27 Feb 2012 06:39:43 EST Torn rotator cuff and family crap Well I tore my right rotator cuff last week. Recheck with doctor today. Its been uncomfortable to say the least, they say physical therapy next and possibly surgery. Worst out of all of it and another one of the large motivating factors of why I left spark late last year (family stuff).. is that my percosetts (sp?) were stolen from my house. My husband and I are rocky at the moment to say the least as he doesn't want to think his son did it.. who moved in with us late last year after bein... Thu, 23 Feb 2012 09:19:49 EST Day 3 gym! Today was a cardio day. It was really nice that Tony was there and came on by to talk while I did my warm up.. get more info on me, and discuss diet plans.. he wants me adding whole grain carbs back into my diet if I am going to be working out and training. Advised best times of day to eat the carbs, add more fruit and nuts etc. <BR> <BR> So today was 70 mins on the treadmill.. 20 mins warm up, 20 mins at a 20 mph pace 10% incline (couldn't get to the 15% after my thighs dying on me yest... Wed, 15 Feb 2012 11:14:24 EST Day 2 gym All's I have to say is.. Ooomph!! <BR> <BR> and with that remark.. I am off to go put my feet up for 40 mintues before I start to get ready to work.. kitchen is cleaned, laundry is well more or less done (it never ends in this house), preschooler is fed and down for his nap, living room is tidied, and 13 yr old is asleep on the sofa after I picked her up sick from school.. <BR> <BR> Now which workout was harder? gym or regular life? lol.. ok ok.. definitely the gym!! Tue, 14 Feb 2012 13:20:44 EST Day 1 gym! Well I am loving the new gym! I went this morning and was happily surprised to see an older woman working out in the women's area, a personal trainer working with a woman probably around my age, a few guys lifting weights and using the machines, two guys on the treadmills, and a class full of kickboxers! Nothing overwhelming, no banging weights, grunting loudly... You know what I mean. <BR> <BR> I met Tony who I decided to hire for five 1/2 hour sessions once a week to help set me up with ... Mon, 13 Feb 2012 13:31:20 EST Sauteed chicken and asparagus <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Todays' lunch was 3.5 oz of sauteed chicken in olive oil again with my favorite spice blend of sea salt, garlic and black pepper (yes I do have other spice variations..but this is always my go to.. lol)... My veg side was 8 small spears of fresh asparagus also sauteed in olive oil with 3 small (ok two were teeny) cloves of garlic. Darn I love my garlic! <BR> <BR> Yum Yum Yum! <BR> <BR> Tonight's dinner will be ... Mon, 13 Feb 2012 13:25:17 EST beef medallions wrapped in bacon with mashed cauliflower <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Hubby made me this the other night. 5 oz of beef including the bacon (I still end up tracking the bacon seperately as 1.5 slices), and mashed cauliflower. Spiced with garlic, sea salt and pepper, on the steak, and then garlic and sea salt plus butter in the mashed cauliflower. 1 cup of cauliflower is shown. <BR> <BR> OMG YUM!!! I went high on my meat portion that evening, which alas might not be the wisest cho... Mon, 13 Feb 2012 13:21:51 EST It's really not that bad... While I was getting tattoo'd last night.. I had several opportunities to stretch my legs in a room full of mirrors... Each time I did.. I stood there in my jeans and tank top and thought.. It's there.. It's really there.. See the curves.. see the figure.. it's in there. It's not all that bad woman.. you just need to get your butt into the gym and tone it up.. slim it down and the ONLY way you are going to get it done is by hitting that gym!! <BR> <BR> It was a moment of epiphany for me if... Sun, 12 Feb 2012 19:14:23 EST New Ink! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> My newest piece! I love the new artist I found who did this drawing herself. I am going to have her rework a piece on my back and one piece on my hip.. my back will be first since it won't be as affected by working out as my hips will be. <BR> <BR> I am absolutely in love with it!!! Sun, 12 Feb 2012 19:10:45 EST Yum! Hubby made me a scrumptious dinner of beef medallions (5 oz) wrapped in bacon, with a side of smashed cauliflower! YUM! I couldn't finish my dinner.. how nutso is that? It was so darn good though.. Sun, 12 Feb 2012 19:07:17 EST Joined the gym.. gulp! I told hub I wanted to join a gym for Valentine's Day. There is a big chain gym around here that is doing their promo special $10 down and $10 a month. Well we drove by it this morning on the way to get his hair cut and once again it was jammed packed. We've heard that it's got issues as it's over sold and you have long waits for machines. While we were at the hair dressers... my stylist mentioned that one of the girls belonged to this gym also in town, same amount per month and all their... Sat, 11 Feb 2012 12:11:03 EST I don't miss carbs! Truly I don't. This is almost the end of Week 3 induction with Atkins, and I can't say that I miss carbs at all. There is what anyone else would consider a scrumptious looking chocolate cake sitting on my kitchen island countertop.. and No Thank you.. is all I can think when I look at it. <BR> <BR> I pack my son's snack bag every day.. either goldfish crackers, pretzels, or cookies are his carb choices (some days he gets apple slices)... and they don't do a thing to me (I used to be a pr... Thu, 9 Feb 2012 07:54:03 EST My own worst enemy! I have to admit I am my own worst enemy. I live within this view of what perfection should look like and the older I get that more I am being hit with the reality that *my* perfection is changing. It was easy at first to accept my perfection would never again be 110lbs. Sure I weighed that after my divorce at the age of 34..and looked like one heck of a hot momma... but I was 6 yrs younger. <BR> <BR> In Sept of 2010 I was down to about 135-138. I looked great.. I was happy.. Some things ... Mon, 6 Feb 2012 11:07:24 EST Weekly ramble Last night Hub and I had our date night. We saw Toby Keith in concert at Mohegan Sun the casino in CT.. it's eeps maybe an hour or so away from where we live. What a fabulous time! Haven't laughed that much or had that much fun or screamed my head off like a teenager in eons!! <BR> <BR> Today I have work from 4-9.. and I was able to swap for tomorrow off so that I can be home for SUPERBOWL!!! GOOOOOO PATS!! woo hoo! I am beyond psyched!! Hub went out and bought me some yummy Atkins mu... Sat, 4 Feb 2012 13:38:41 EST Loving Life... I am loving life lately. I am still busy chaotic over the top stressed out... well not so much the latter part. What's changed? I still have three teenagers living at home and a preschooler (ok well technically my stepson is almost 20..but he acts like one of the teens).. I should be mental from that alone. Hub is still dealing with a craptastic job that he makes no money at.. financial woes still abound... My schedule is nuttier than all heck with rushing our youngest to preschooler, try... Wed, 1 Feb 2012 10:11:47 EST Not so LUCKY (jeans) Anyone out there wear lucky brand jeans. I LOVE them.. thing is though they are not sized correctly. I mean in every other pair of jeans I wear I am a size 10.. heck I was a squished size 10 for a while as I added the lbs back on over the holidays. Yet Lucky loves to be deceptive.. flirt with us and make us feel better about ourselves by lying and tell us we are a whole size smaller. I am NO size 8.. wish I was..and I will be (heck I am going to OWN size 6.. yes I am!)... <BR> <BR> I j... Tue, 31 Jan 2012 18:44:25 EST A quick walk I managed to sneak in a 1.5 mile walk this afternoon after taking my son to his first day of preschool (sobs)... I grabbed the dog and off we went. I might have made it further if not for the fairly brutal wind out there today. So home we came.. with the dog having far too much energy left to burn off.. uggh.. and me being tired and worrying about my son. <BR> <BR> I am curious though as I used my cardio fit pro tracker on my phone for my workout which stated that I burned just over a hun... Mon, 30 Jan 2012 14:07:55 EST Portion sizes.. wow! Last night before dinner, hub and I stopped into a Tuesday Mornings store, which is a discount/closeout place.. Not sure how nationwide they are. Anyways I had mentioned to him I wanted a kitchen scale to be accurate with my portion sizes for meals. He found me a biggest loser kitchen scale for a whopping $12!! <BR> <BR> Today's lunch I was able to measure out (had to buy it a new battery so didn't measure the mornings meal).. and holy poop!! 3 oz of chicken really IS nothing.. lol. I de... Sun, 29 Jan 2012 13:18:35 EST Week 1 total Down 7lbs!! <BR> <BR> This week's goal is going to be minimal.. 2-3lbs is what I am hoping for. I know that first week of induction is usually always your largest numbers, so I am trying to prepare myself for the slow down now. Sun, 29 Jan 2012 10:28:04 EST