SHRINKING_SARA's SparkPeople Blog

Quick update

Thu, 23 May 2013 13:55:17 EST

Life is still going strong. The streak of positive health got derailed though...

Basically I've blogged about her in the past, but if you look back a few months there was a girl working in my lab who is delusional and horrible at science. She also happens to think the world revolves around her and she is a genius and we should all bow down to her superior knowledge. Now as I just said, she is horrible at science, so her skills and attitude do not complement each other. She fail...

Random Photo Blog

Tue, 14 May 2013 12:38:27 EST

Random photo blog day... Not much has changed. I swear my doctor's scale is off by 5# compared to the one at my house. It says higher, so I'm inclined to believe its my breakfast/drinks/clothes/error making me weigh more at their office. I was there this morning for an eyelid rash :-/ I'm not supposed to wear makeup for a week... since that's not happening, I'm putting on my required oinment and putting makeup on AROUND where the ointment is. I'm compromising with no eyeliner, but god ...

Birthday Weekend Stress

Mon, 13 May 2013 17:28:38 EST

Thank Jesus that the scale is moving down. It honestly made me feel better to see 189.7 this morning. Even though its just 0.3# from 190, that made all the difference to my silly head.

So, back on the plan for one week + shark week bloat gone = down three pounds.

Awesome.

This weekend was a roller coaster of emotions. Friday I ate well-ish. I ate my veggies. Got my lunch comped because they overcooked my tuna steak (mmm... tuna steak!) and made it home....

Day 1 Done

Wed, 8 May 2013 13:39:21 EST

Yesterday was my Day 1 of rebooting. Done. Just barely under my calorie goal. But under. I also redid my tracker/goals. Spark called me a crazy woman and I readjusted my expectations.

I'm still feeling a bit lazy, so I'm focusing on food. I need to get used to counting and tracking everything. If it goes in my mouth, its going in my tracker. I am doing this ASAP after I eat. I think I need the accountability of doing this. Its weird looking at the food I was eating bot...

I can do this. You can do this. We will do this!

Mon, 6 May 2013 22:01:38 EST

Well that hurt, but it wasn’t as bad as it could have been... Stepping on the scale this morning, I just said to myself “screw it, whatever it is, is just the beginning of starting over.” So I got on. 193. It was up. Honestly it has been up for awhile, I just kept denying that my tracker set at 184 wasn’t that off. OR I was just going to not update it again until I got below 184 where it has been set for awhile.

Then I remembered, this is not the point of Spark. Sometimes I...

Ok...

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 20:15:07 EST

Okay... so I'm doing this again. I shouldn't expect to be perfect and be in my calorie range right away day 2. I'm close. I tracked -- so that's better than before.

I'm staying with friends in town from now on, seeing as I'm homeless. Trying not to freak out about life in general. I still have to edit my thesis. I'll turn in my D4 form to the grad school tomorrow, right before I meet with financial aid. Ten years of college, and private undergrad to boot = more than I barg...

Hello again!

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 16:28:44 EST

So I've been busy. REALLY busy. Avoiding Spark busy. Looking back at a blog:

Upcoming stuff:
Conference 6th-10th -- DONE
Fly home 10th – get in a car and drive to Milwaukee -- DONE
11th – drive to Sheboygan, WI to meet some of TJ’s family -- DONE
12th – drive to Green Bay for rehearsal dinner for the wedding TJ is in -- DONE
13th – wedding of TJs friends -- DONE
14th – drive back to StL -- DONE
15th—drive back to Columbia -- DONE
16th-19t...

Day 1 in DC = Success

Sat, 6 Apr 2013 20:58:02 EST

I arrived in DC today to go to the American Association for Cancer Research annual meeting. There wasn't really anything going on today so I got up early, flew out here, and then made it to our hotel by 12:45ish. Since they let us check in early, we threw our stuff upstairs and my co-worker and I headed out.

The cherry blossoms were supposed to peak today through the 8th -- but they really weren't open yet very much. Anyway, we walked from 13th/L near Lincoln Circle-ish (I thin...

Good food in Washington, D.C. near convention center?

Mon, 1 Apr 2013 21:10:00 EST

Lordy lordy lordy I am still super busy.

Less than 18 days until I have to give my thesis to my committee. Last week I met my goal of finishing the first draft of my paper manuscript and I e-mailed it to everyone on Friday… no one has given me edits yet… so… that sucks.

TJ came down for the weekend again. We went on Friday night to watch basketball with friends… and fought a bit. Homeskillet is worried that I’m going to turn psycho so he isn’t ready to commit to anyth...

People... Seriously I am busy!

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 10:30:29 EST

Sabotage comes in many forms. Friends and family... strangers... and from yourself. Lately I feel like I've been giving in trying to please everyone and not taking a stand for myself.

I did this with food before... and I got fat.

I'm doing this now with my dissertation... so am I f***ing up my graduation?

Basically, the house is off my worries list. It ate up a chunk of time getting it cleaned and staged. AND dealing with my family coming down to help. Th...

Quick Blog -- BL Results and thoughts...

Wed, 20 Mar 2013 14:51:27 EST

I love the Biggest Loser. Yes I know its unrealistic. Yes I know it isn't the healthiest way to lose weight. But did season 11 get my butt off the couch. Yes. Did I apply to be in seasons 10 and 11. Yes. Was I fat enough to be on the Biggest Loser. Yes. Have I lost more on my own than half of the people on the Biggest Loser. Yes.

There comes a point in the show where I see all the women start dropping into the 170s. I get jealous. I feel mean spirited that they have gott...

Life is NOT slowing down!

Sun, 17 Mar 2013 20:52:34 EST

I feel like I'm in warp speed right now.

I have 35 days to finish my thesis. I have about... 70-90 days of work (SKAHONEY4U knows what I'm talking about!)... So there's that.

The house inspection was Friday. It went okay. They are asking me to fix the jetted tub jet that works, but not as well as the others... so instead I'm like -- noooope. How's about I just give you the washer/dryer instead. I don't want any more work done. I don't really want to spend any mo...

48 hours of progress!

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 19:57:48 EST

Well a few burdens have been lifted off my shoulders.

First. My house went on the market yesterday morning. By 11 there was someone looking at it. At five another group looked at it. I had an offer before 4PM. Now it wasn't a great offer, and the buyers want $4k in closing costs, so we couldn't accept it. They raised their offer enough to make us reconsider -- now we're just hoping the house appraises for what they are willing to pay for it.

SO my house is under ...

Someone make me productive!

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 22:28:49 EST

Ahhhhh... I've reached the point where I should be freaking out... but I'm not. I'm presenting tomorrow morning to my lab, then to my committee Tuesday. And I somehow can't get myself moving. I literally feel like I don't care. What. Is. Wrong. With. Me?

I have goofed off all day practically and somewhat yesterday. I reorganized the garage with TJ. For some reason, felt PMSy and slightly annoyed for no reason the whole day Saturday, so I got nothing done. Really. Nothing. ...

Busy bee!

Fri, 8 Mar 2013 11:59:54 EST

Well the house is clean. Its so clean I don't want to touch anything! The realtor is making the listing live on Monday, so from then on its going to be hopefully sold quickly and viewed by a ton of people. I practiced cleaning today before I went to work. The bathroom is spotless. The kitchen is spotless, heck everything is. So I'll get at least 5-10 minutes of cleaning in every morning before I leave for work and that basically counts as some "exercise" if I rush right? ;-)

...

Thank God for Extensions!

Tue, 5 Mar 2013 11:48:03 EST

I was supposed to present at lab meeting tomorrow morning with my presentation that I will give to my committee meeting on March 12th. Obviously I'm nowhere near ready with all the house stuff going on.

I got my boss to push it to Friday... and then it ended up getting rescheduled to Monday, the day before my committee meeting. This is GOOD. This gives me time to devote to that, plus I will have my final version by then *hopefully -- and then the rest of Monday to retool it for ...

Super Stressed Right Now

Mon, 4 Mar 2013 12:38:22 EST

My house needs to go on the market ASAP.... there was a ton of stuff we needed to do to it first apparently to get it ready. A lot of cleaning, packing, decluttering, and then projects on the house like changing light fixtures and curtain rods we wanted to keep (since the house isn't work any $$ we're taking down a lot of the expensive fixtures).

New back door, paint the garage entry door (which took 4 hours to scrape the old paint off it), new carpet was a debacle (still waiting ...

We're gonna have a good day!

Thu, 28 Feb 2013 16:36:31 EST

I can't really post more good lyrics from The Nappy Roots, but the beginning of the song is stuck in my head.

My mom and sister are currently cleaning out my house getting it show ready. I had a phone interview with an HR rep at a company in St. Louis. He said he was going to personally walk my CV over to the hiring managers for two different jobs!!!!!

They apparently need to fill these positions quickly, but they will be hiring again closer to the time that I will be ...

Can we quit it with all of the snow already?!?!

Tue, 26 Feb 2013 14:19:22 EST

Seriously. Snow. Stop it.

Another winter storm blew through Columbia last night. I haven’t been outside, but they’re reporting we got 7” more snow! Ugh, the nerve! I need to get outside and shovel before it freezes, but I’m all warm and cuddled inside my house. I just need to graduate so that I can get my boyfriend to shovel all the snow for me ;-)

SO a recap. Last week 13” of snow. It sucked. I shoveled part of it, and my neighbor with a snow blower got t...

Too much dang snow! (13"!)

Fri, 22 Feb 2013 10:15:47 EST

Yesterday it snowed... and snowed... and snowed... a total of 13"! Plus snow drifts over 2" in my front yard. Ugh.

So I shoveled. I had to. And now my back hurts like a fiend! The plows have yet to reach my street. Apparently the jerks made it all the way to the street over from me and gave up... and haven't been back since! What the heck! I am the last street out here -- so they literally had 2 streets left to plow in my neighborhood and they LEFT!

So I'm stuck....

Mentally smacking myself

Thu, 21 Feb 2013 11:29:08 EST

One of my problems lately is thinking about cheat food. Cookies, ice cream, burgers... I can have a cheat day right? Oh I can go get Coldstone right? Nope. Stop it. I've been so bad about allowing a treat... which turns into another treat... and another treat.

After I weighed in at 188 last week, I gave myself a mental smack upside the head and audibly went "no duh" about the weight gain. Luckily it was mostly TOM weight gain and water retention from salt. I was back at 184 ...

Why I’m doing it:

Tue, 19 Feb 2013 18:00:58 EST

Why I’m doing it:

I just found a new Tumblr: whyimdoingit.tumblr.com

Basically tumblr is just a website for blogs that are mostly pictures. There’s a lot of Doctor Who fans on there, which is how I got sucked in. There’s also a lot of fitness Tumblrs. Some of them like the one above have fitness motivational pictures, so I like to go check out my Tumblr and Pinterest when I get bored or unmotivated.

Right now I want nothing more that to pi...

http://www.modelmydiet.com

Fri, 15 Feb 2013 11:43:36 EST

I just saw this on another Sparker's blog and thought I'd share it with you all: www.modelmydiet.com

Aaaand then I threw in my pics of me "now" and me at my goal weight of 170:

And me at my "well if I'm crazy" goal weight of 150:

Well yesterday SUCKED

Fri, 15 Feb 2013 11:02:49 EST

I feel like I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster in the past few days.

Monday I had the job-ish interview for a post-doc. It went well, but as expected… yada yada yada I like you but I have no money.

Tuesday I drove back and caught up with my work.

Wednesday I saw my plastic surgeon again. Luckily my wound is getting smaller. It shrank 2cm last week, so instead of being 11cm wide, its only 9cm wide and I can actually see the skin starting to scar in fr...

I am a size 8 AND a size... 14

Tue, 12 Feb 2013 20:24:40 EST

Whew… becoming a grown-up sucks, and yes I’m almost 28, but I don’t consider myself a grown-up… until after I graduate from grad school.

I really don’t know what I want to do after I graduate. I went to ask for a post-doc, partly because that’s what’s expected… I really want to apply for jobs at companies too… but there’s less support for that decision. And its more grown-up-y… and scary… and out of my comfort zone.

So last Thursday I got an e-mail back from a researc...

So much for a quiet weekend...

Sat, 9 Feb 2013 09:30:49 EST

I found out on Friday morning that the person I wanted to do a post-doctoral fellowship with -- wants to meet with me!!!

On Monday...

I'm so unprepared! I literally don't have a pair of dress pants that I like, flat shoes, and I need to read about 40 research articles she's written -- look up several post-doc fellowship grant applications I can apply for -- and try to make a rough sketch of a grant application based on research she proposed in a grant I saw because my...

Hopefully Optimistic

Wed, 6 Feb 2013 22:57:11 EST

Update on my last blog.

I’m doing better. Emotionally I was a wreck. I was in a lot of pain. A lot of nerve pain – so painful….

Today its better. Monday I saw my GP for advice and for nerve pain meds. My plastic surgeon (PS) kept insisting it was muscular. 10 seconds with my GP, he agreed its nerve pain and we discussed a few options. We also discussed what I should do, if I should get another opinion. He basically said, it would be easier for me to just keep g...

Crazy long blog... My last six weeks of pain from a botched surgery...

Mon, 4 Feb 2013 01:31:24 EST

Long blog… bit of a rant… bit of a freak out… issues I didn’t plan on with losing weight.

So I lost almost 100#... great. Along with that I had amazing health benefits, more confidence, looked great, felt great…. And extra skin. It happens to a lot of us. I decided to get my arm skin reduced because it was the worst issue I had. My arms were always an issue. I was always self conscious about my arms. So… I got down to 180. Felt great. Finally plucked up the cou...

My body is not used to crappy food... or sugar~!

Thu, 31 Jan 2013 09:58:58 EST

I am slowly learning from the last three days that my body does not handle sugar anymore! Or crappy fast food. My intestines have been super crazy the last few days. Why? Less fiber for sure. Added in a ton of empty calories of sugar, yep... aaaaand then throw in a fast food breakfast yesterday and you can see why my guts are very talkative.

Haha... that's one thing I didn't expect with eating healthy. I, sorry for TMI, stopped farting. Who'da thunk, cut out sugar, cut out...

Bad day... Good day... Bad day...

Wed, 30 Jan 2013 17:27:13 EST

What a crappy cycle to be stuck in. I was in the dumps Monday.

Tuesday was definitely better. I got in a sunshiny walk on Monday while the weather was still warm.

Tuesday I woke up and found out that my review article is out of reviewer hell and is going to be published! Yay!

Then I dressed cute... I had to match my rainboots of course. Then I got in a good long walk in the rain. Not as fun, but nice.

Came home -- bam, W2s were finally here...

I feel like I'm planning to fail...

Mon, 28 Jan 2013 12:03:56 EST

1-28-13

I’m kind of in the mood for a rambly blog… My thoughts are definitely disheveled.

I have a busy week. Like a crazy, busy week. I also have a lot of work stuff, a presentation, recruitment, lunch with a seminar speaker which means I have to go to his seminar and not skip like I usually do, the realtor is coming this afternoon, my house isn’t clean, my yard is a mess, I’m not making much progress writing, I feel like I have a million experiments to do… a...

“So short people are misled into thinking that they are thinner than they are, and tall people are m

Thu, 24 Jan 2013 22:01:44 EST

This made my 5'10" self feel a little bit better:

www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnew
s/9815052/Short-people-fatter-than-the
y-think-under-new-BMI.html

Mathematicians found the formula used to calculate body mass index (BMI) has made tall people more overweight and those vertically challenged not fat enough.

They argued it did not take into account a person’s weight tends to grow with their height, giving taller people more room to bu...

Trying to be productive

Thu, 24 Jan 2013 11:21:56 EST

I'm trying to be productive today. I had a mental list of things to mark off... and so far today I:

A) e-mailed the realtor back and set up an appt for next week

B) e-mailed my boss to set up a defense date, and found out I apparently HAVE to have a committee meeting (boo)

C) e-mailed someone asking them to join my committee since I unfortunately lost a member who died last last year

D) e-mailed the people still on my committee to try and schedule ...

THOSE 5 pounds…

Wed, 23 Jan 2013 13:34:03 EST

THOSE 5 pounds…

You all know what I’m talking about. There comes a point where you are just within 5 pounds of a goal. It may not be your final goal weight, but its something like being in onederland, or finally making it into the 170s (like it is for me). Then you reach a point where you never think you’re going to lose those five pounds. You may have lost a lost of pounds before… heck I’ve lost around 100… but these same five pounds refuse to leave my butt.

I los...

Article: The even weaker sex

Wed, 23 Jan 2013 11:12:08 EST

I friend of mine posted this article on facebook this morning.

Why are women so obsessed about getting thin and skinny and not fit?

Why don't women eat more protein?

Why don't women want to weight lift?

Reason: we don't want to be bulky and manly.

Screw that. I want muscles!

Read it at: www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2
266092/Weaker-sex-Faddy-diets-fears-mu
scles-arent-feminine-left-modern-women
-weaker-gr...

117...

Mon, 21 Jan 2013 13:16:15 EST

117 Days till graduation! (eep!)

I'm such a procrastinator that I needed to post that to myself, so that every day I can remember that there is a deadline and I need to work my butt off to get stuff done.

The last few days have been a bit odd. Friday I saw the plastic surgeon again. My wound is quote "shallower" so its improving. It doesn't hurt as bad all the time. The nerves have started to regrow in that arm now. My left arm feels fine, or maybe its just in comp...

122...

Wed, 16 Jan 2013 10:08:02 EST

122 Days till graduation...

Apparently there's a lot of things you can get done before work when you get up at 5am. I didn't PLAN to get up that early. But for some reason my body just would not go back to sleep... I thought about just laying there, but I got bored. So I made breakfast at 5:30 in the morning. It was kind of weird. Then I Sparked a bit. Facebooked a bit. Drank some caffeine to wake up. Then really took my time getting ready. A full face of makeup instead ...

124 Days...

Mon, 14 Jan 2013 11:14:31 EST

So what can I accomplish in 124 days? That's when I graduate from college forever. Only took 10 years of college, but hey, who's counting?

So in 124 days I need to:
A) write my dissertation
B) find a job
C) sell my house
D) convince my PhD committee to let me go
E) Go to three weddings
F) Go to a conference
G) Ask my roommate to move out and pay for all the damage her dog has done to my house
H) Eat healthy
I) Exercise once I've healed...

Haha... I'm gonna have to watch my mouth ;-)

Fri, 11 Jan 2013 16:08:35 EST

So now as a motivational member... what happens? Anyone else out there a motivator? I see there's the Spark page of other motivators... I guess my blogs might pop up more frequently from now on.

I went to see my plastic surgeon again. He seems to think that I'm healing up. The nurse freaked out and told him I had a giant hole -- which I sorta do... The doc seems to think there's improvement though, so *fingers crossed* its actually getting better.

Today started off ...

Me? A Motivational Member? Whaaaat?

Fri, 11 Jan 2013 15:52:35 EST

Imagine my surprise when I just checked my e-mail and found:

"The SparkPeople Community thinks you are a motivation to others!

SparkPeople Members can vote for SparkPages that are motivational, based on Community involvement, personal accomplishments and more. You have received enough votes to become a "SparkPeople Motivator." Congratulations! For recognition, your SparkPage now has a special "SparkPeople Motivator" icon, and your SparkPage will be featured more promine...

Food Crisis

Thu, 10 Jan 2013 16:58:41 EST

Okay I'm being dramatic calling it a crisis... but it feels that way.

My mom was here to change my bandages for the last week (its really hard tying a bandage around your right armpit alone). She's stressful. That's putting it midly.

Two days ago she complained there was no food -- so I went to Walmart after work. While I'm there I called her to see if she thought of anything i should buy. She asked me to get a) butter pecan ice cream, b) cookies, and c) chips. Now ...

130 days until graduation!?!

Tue, 8 Jan 2013 15:53:18 EST

Um... holy hell. I just made a countdown on my wall calendar. There's 130 days separating me from graduation. *gasp* *shock* *horror*!

I have written one review. Have only one chapter done out of the five or six that I am planning... don't have a job or a post-doc lined up... have to sell my house... and I'm still recovering from surgery.

I need to kick myself in the butt and get $hit done!

So instead of working out -- I'm going to focus on my diet. I'v...

Still sucking at life

Mon, 7 Jan 2013 18:06:32 EST

Grr... still healing. Its still bad. Still painful and 3xs a day bandage changes are super fun -- let me tell ya!

I'm not going to whine or complain, but watching the Biggest Loser makes me want to get off the couch and do situps or weight lifting. Anything. I'm going slightly nuts.

I'm just looking forward to the day that this incision heals and I can get back to working out like I used to before the surgery. I sneezed like 15 minutes ago and holy crap -- that pull...

My Doctor... "ooh... that's not better"

Fri, 4 Jan 2013 13:32:24 EST

I sometimes want to facepalm in front of my plastic surgeon. For any of my new blog readers I had my excess arm skin removed four months ago and had a revision 3 weeks ago...

My armpit incision on the right side ripped open once the sutures were taken out, so I have to go back and see him once a week until the wound closes. Right now I'm just taking this all with a grain of salt and two Percocet. *literally, the Percocet is necessary.

So today I go in, thinking that it ...

2012 Year In Review

Thu, 3 Jan 2013 12:50:24 EST

Well I had nine pages of blogs in 2012. That’s a crazy insane amount – but its therapeutic. I just read my 2011 recap and it was so positive. I lost most of my weight in 2011… not nearly as much as I would have liked in 2012, but I did gain something else. Acceptance.

2011 may have been my battle against my bulge, but 2012 was the battle against my fat brain. I had a major case of fat brain in 2012. The inner fat voice that told me I was still huge, still a fat girl, still f...

Can we stop it with the fat bashing this time of the year?

Thu, 3 Jan 2013 12:16:17 EST

One thing I hate about New Years is New Years Resolutions. I hate them. I don't do them. I think they are a horrible idea. Just like dieting, spur of the moment decisions with little to no planning lead to failure... which makes people feel like failures.

Right now there's a lot of people committing to lose weight. That's great. We should support them. What do I hear non-stop though? People who regularly go to the gym complaining about "all the fat people" showing up to use...

Well that sucked… *warning, surgery stuff, might be gross for some

Fri, 28 Dec 2012 12:11:50 EST

Well that sucked… That could describe a lot of things in the past week. Well two weeks. I just checked. My last blog was on the 17th…

The #1 thing that sucked a$$ is my surgery recovery. I had my left arm near my elbow redone, about six inches or so of it – to remove a fat pad/loose skin near my elbow, and a revision on my right armpit area where a piece of skin stuck out like a triangle from the end of the scar.

Well the left arm is fine. It still hurts a little,...

I need some kindling for my Spark

Mon, 17 Dec 2012 18:31:41 EST

I need some kindling for my Spark

My Spark, like many others, has come and go lately. I did so well when I was losing… and I did lose. I’ve lost almost or around 100# depending on just how fat I used to be (I honestly don’t know if I ever got to 300, but I know I was close).

So now after losing all of that, you’d think that I’d feel amazing. And most days I do. Other days though that sneaky inner fat girl voice likes to come out and tell me that I’m worthless or that...

Last Week or So

Mon, 17 Dec 2012 16:06:15 EST

So I’ve been busy being not busy. Lately.

Last week started out crappy. I had one of the worst migraines I’ve had in a long time. The weather change and allergies have been affecting a lot of people around here. So after waking up at 5am in pain from the migraine, taking meds, and crawling back to bed… I had to get up and ready for a work meeting they rescheduled to include me in.

After that horrible 4 hour meeting (we didn’t leave until almost 1PM!) I went back home ...

Lots to do this weekend!!!

Fri, 7 Dec 2012 12:47:02 EST

Okay -- I have a ton of stuff going on this weekend.

Luckily my boss finished editing the paper with me and we re-submitted the review article to a journal. Now I can breathe!

I stupidly offered to host a holiday party for our department. This means I needed to CLEEEEEEAN. And for some reason in my crazy brain I decided to clean out my closets; Not throw stuff in so people don't see like I usually do ;-)

So I bought some storage tubs at Target (they're on sa...