SHRINKING_SARA's SparkPeople Blog SHRINKING_SARA's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community I got back into my "fat pants" My jeans fit again! They're a size 14 but they fit again! Actually I'm not sure what size they are. I used to be in an 8-10-12 range when I was at my smallest (depending on the brand). Then I switched to Banana Republic Tall jeans -- the Gap jeans just didn't fit well anymore. Anyway Banana Republic uses numbers -- like mens sizing -- so I'm in a 32" jean... but the funny thing is -- that is not my waist measurement. I have no idea how they try to justify using real numbers -- and then ... Wed, 21 Jan 2015 10:30:26 EST Its all fun and games until your fat pants don't fit Okay day six or so of my reboot. I'm staying below 1600 calories (I didn't want to cut too low too fast). <BR> <BR> I'm doing well I think, with food. Been cooking a lot more. <BR> <BR> My hubs got in a car accident last night. He's okay, but his car is not. Lots of phone calls and paperwork coming our way. <BR> <BR> My new goal is to clean out our pantry and cook all the things! (in a healthy way, or make the hubs eat the bad stuff ;-) ) <BR> <BR> Still here. Still trying. Fri, 9 Jan 2015 09:19:57 EST Wedding Photos <img src=""> <img src=""> <img src=""> <img src=""> <img src=""> <img src=""> <img src=""> <img src="http://photo... Sun, 4 Jan 2015 11:46:15 EST Holy crap I got fat again... I did it to myself. I am now over 230 pounds again. Not just a little over 200... I had to order larger jeans, and now those jeans no longer fit. My belly is back. My arms are jiggly... and I feel like crap. I've been sick for months... my diet is woefully bad. <BR> <BR> SO I'm starting over. I did it before, I can do it again. I let myself go! I am openly admitting it. And I am back. I will try to update this more often. I can't believe I let myself get to where I am right now.... Sun, 4 Jan 2015 11:38:02 EST 82 Days + Engagement Photos I got my engagement photos back yesterday. They look great. I still think I look a little lumpy in some, but I'm not going to post those. <BR> <BR> I've been terrible the past few weeks. I was going strong, and then hit a wall of fried food, booze, and excuses since the 4th. <BR> <BR> I'm trying to get back on track but I'm honestly struggling. <BR> <BR> Okay -- now for some happy photos! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <img src="http://ph... Tue, 15 Jul 2014 14:53:02 EST 96 Days 96 days... until my wedding. Man this is going by quick. Most of the stuff is done... just little stuff now. <BR> <BR> I've been sucking at weight loss. Food. Food is delicious. Food that is free and unhealthy has been my downfall this week. I bought some healthy options and I'm going to get my butt back to actually eating it. Money's tight right now. Haven't had many dog walking jobs this week, so I'm brining in like $30 this week. With the 4th coming up, I've got more work -- but ... Mon, 30 Jun 2014 08:50:13 EST 109 Days I have 109 days to whip myself in shape for my wedding. <BR> <BR> A friend of mine were talking last night about pictures on FB of daughters and their fathers on Father's Day -- most of them were the girls in their wedding dresses. We both *semi-shallowly* went on a bender about how fat arms look and how I don't want my arms to look fat in pictures. <BR> <BR> This is silly. I know it is silly. The pictures I took on May 4th are a reminder to me that I don't want to look like that. I did... Tue, 17 Jun 2014 13:13:21 EST 114 Days 114 Days <BR> <BR> Sh*ts getting real. Planning has to be done. Why are there so many little details to take care of? I’m trying to not let it stress me out but money is a big deal. <BR> <BR> My mother took my “there is no budget” wedding and slashed her portion to $10k... which is VERY different than “no budget.” I tried to have a budget talk SEVERAL times with her, fearing this would happen... and it did. SO now we’re back tracking and trying to save money wherever the heck we can. ... Thu, 12 Jun 2014 17:02:39 EST 125 Days What can I do in 125 days? I am going to find out. What’s in 125 days? My wedding. Eep! The dress, the show, the party. I’m excited. What I’m not excited about is how I look. <BR> <BR> I did a quickie blog to show I wasn’t dead a few days ago, but what I didn’t mention is how fluffy I have become. I don’t know how much I’ve gained. I’ve avoided the scale as much as the gym, but I know I’ve gained. Its gone to my arms (nooo!) and my butt (which fiancé isn’t too upset about) and my b... Sun, 1 Jun 2014 09:23:56 EST Three Month Update -- Short Story So I haven't blogged since February. <BR> <BR> Short list of really big things that happened: <BR> <BR> 1) Moved out of my parents house <BR> 2) Fiance moved in! <BR> 3) Got hired as a full time assistant professor <BR> 4) My mom took my "no budget" wedding and gave me a $10k budget and lectured me about how I was wasteful and lavish (she's crazy FYI and we'd already spent $15k) <BR> 5) Got married on May the 4th be with you -- just for the insurance and so religious fiancé could move in <B... Tue, 27 May 2014 21:12:59 EST New Study Supports Body Shape Index as Predictor of Mortality Try out this calculator: <link><BR>bsi-calculator.html </link> <BR> <BR><BR>-index-study.cfm <BR> <BR> New Study Supports Body Shape Index as Predictor of Mortality <BR> In 2012, Dr. Nir Krakauer, an assistant professor of civil engineering in CCNY’s Grove School of Engineering, and his father, Dr. Jesse Krakauer, MD, developed a new method to quantify the risk specifically associated with abdominal obesity. <BR... Tue, 25 Feb 2014 23:28:36 EST Stress! So today was a whirlwind. I don't want to get into specifics but my family has mental problems… that are being exacerbated by the fact that we are selling my parents house (or trying to). <BR> <BR> Trying to keep my father from driving my mother to kill herself is what is mentally and physically dragging me down. Sorry its heavy but sometimes you realize why the f**k you're messed up and have turned to food in the past. <BR> <BR> I made smart choices today to start. I got up early. At... Tue, 11 Feb 2014 19:27:50 EST And now for a happier blog! I haven't been on in awhile. So two blogs in one day to make up! <BR> <BR> The other was focused on the Biggest Loser. Holy crap! Read that if you want. <BR> <BR> This one is about other stuff. I have slowly been losing the weight. My fat pants are still my pants. My skinny clothes are taunting me in my closet. I WILL get my a$$ back in those pants! <BR> <BR> I know I fail on food most of all -- so in order to get my head right, I am doing less working out (also super busy!) and mor... Wed, 5 Feb 2014 10:01:38 EST SPOILERS – My thoughts on the BL Finale SPOILERS – My thoughts on the BL Finale <BR> <BR> I love the Biggest Loser. It was a great motivating tool for me. Season 11 made me get my butt off the couch. Season 12 kept me moving. Season 14 was an inspiration... Season 15 was kind of annoying. <BR> <BR> Now for the spoilers: <BR> <BR> I was pulling for Rachel. She did so well throughout the season and basically hit her goal weight by the last week of the show. She looked strong, she looked confident, she looked fantastic at... Wed, 5 Feb 2014 09:53:48 EST Yay! I needed a bit of yay! <BR> <BR> One of the schools I'm adjuncting at just put up a posting for an assistant professor job. The dept chair has been talking to me for awhile, and it looks like they tailored it for me. Instead of it being a straight Chemistry job, they added OR Biochemistry (aka me!). <BR> <BR> That might not seem like a lot, but its got me hopeful that I could have a real big time adult job by the fall. I still have to apply and interview and get approved by the main camp... Tue, 21 Jan 2014 11:09:00 EST Back to tracking I haven't been counting calories. I've been indulging. Enjoying. Christmas stress led to some gluttony -- full out gluttony. Not even binging. <BR> <BR> I went way off track. I knew I was gaining weight but pajama pants and sweat pants don't tell you -- they just let you get pudgy. I had to put on work pants Monday… well I tried to put on work pants. The first three pairs were tight. Luckily I had one pair I could squeeze on. Barely. Ugh. <BR> <BR> So then I dragged out my scale.... Wed, 15 Jan 2014 10:37:19 EST Hmmm…. So I really don't check my Sparkmail. Not going to lie, its probably one of the more awkward features of the site that feels clunky. (sorry Spark Team leaders!) <BR> <BR> But I got one today from a Spark Coach, so I thought I'd check it out -- they want me to fill out the success story questionnaire to see if I could be a featured story or at least add it to the database. I'm preeeetty sure the asked me before and I ignored it. <BR> <BR> Well this time I actually clicked on the link, an... Thu, 9 Jan 2014 17:52:27 EST My 2013 Manifesto <BR> <BR> With only two days left in the year, I just wanted to look back on all of the stuff I have done this year that happened regardless of my weight, my diet, my exercise... it was my life. <BR> <BR> It started out bad, but also amazing. Its hard to think but a year ago my left arm was literally ripping itself from my body. My 2nd brachioplasty surgery didn’t happen without major complications... like my armpit literally ripping itself open. This happened right at the end of 2012... Mon, 30 Dec 2013 01:08:53 EST Old vs New Measurements I just found a piece of paper in my old records… my old measurements. I think I took them when I was filling out an application for The Biggest Loser, pre-Spark. <BR> <BR> Old: <BR> Bust: 43" <BR> Waist: 45" <BR> Hips: 53" <BR> <BR> Now: <BR> Bust: 36" <BR> Natural Waist: 31" <BR> Waist: 35" <BR> Hips: 45" <BR> <BR> That was probably 70# difference in those measurements… just something interesting to look at and see how far I've come even when it doesn't feel like it sometimes. <BR> <BR>... Thu, 19 Dec 2013 22:39:59 EST Well you’re doing a lot… *bonus wedding dress pics Well you’re doing a lot… I heard that today, and I went… no I’m not ;-) <BR> <BR> I like to be busy. I only taught one class this semester and now its over. I finished working today by meeting with McKendree and getting another faculty ID and another faculty parking pass. I’ll be teaching at two schools next semester. <BR> <BR> SO yes, next semester I will be busy ;-). I am teaching Principles of Organic Chemistry + lab to 9 students, and have one section of a General Chemistry labora... Wed, 11 Dec 2013 22:48:37 EST My long road to the gun show (warning, you're gonna see a bra) If you've been around with me for awhile you know I had a brachioplasty over a year ago. We're actually coming up on the anniversary for the 2nd revision surgery… <BR> <BR> Since I've been underemployed and gotten both happy fat and then engaged, I started to see to my horror that my arms were getting larger and jigglier and freaked out and worked it out instead of sabotaging myself. <BR> <BR> I finally started to see a bicep this month (holla!) so I thought I'd share that achievement with... Thu, 21 Nov 2013 19:02:22 EST November Goals: Learn Organic Chemistry :-/ = :-D <BR> Hopefully my possibly good news turns into actually good news. <BR> <BR> I am teaching two more sections of Intro Biology at Lindenwood next year, and today I started talking with another small college called McKendree to teach Chemistry. One would be a General Chemistry lab and one would be an Organic Chemistry lab *gasp*! Someone’s gonna need to relearn Organic ASAP! Then in addition they want me to maybe teach the associated Organic class – again *eeeeep*! It conflicts with my B... Thu, 7 Nov 2013 13:18:06 EST October was eventful I've been busy that's for sure. Still working out. TRYING to eat well. I've been tracking my food and have been below my burn but I still can't seem to lose weight. I AM losing inches though. I physically look smaller. But I'm doing more strength training = muscle = more mass/less space. <BR> <BR> I'm going to go on a bit of a rant. I knooooow you can't target your weight loss, but it is still annoying as all get out to still see a muffin top, but to instead see your boobs shrink! I ... Wed, 23 Oct 2013 13:37:13 EST Diet Bet Results I mentioned before that I won my Diet Bet. I joined the myfitsperation diet bet. is run by Hannah and Olivia from BL 11. I love those girls. They were the main motivation for my booty to get off the couch and workout. Seriously -- that season with Courtney and Irene and the sisters was my main motivation to stop wanting to be on the Biggest Loser, and start becoming a biggest loser... and if I do say so myself, I have managed to lose more % body weight than most of the... Thu, 10 Oct 2013 10:30:37 EST Diet Bet -- Update = Waiting So the wifi at this school is crap... what am I supposed to do before class other than goof off on my laptop? I guess a Spark blog is in order. <BR> <BR> Today was the weigh-in day for my Diet Bet. I made it... barely... and the last loss was mostly water weight as I avoided salt, hydrated completely, and ate under my calories yesterday in a mini-fast. But I needed 192.4, and I weighed in at 192.2. I couldn’t get my ring off or it might have been 192.0 ;-) <BR> <BR> And now I wait... Th... Mon, 7 Oct 2013 10:17:21 EST Update: working out like crazy So I just noticed I hadn't blogged in a bit. I've been super busy, as anyone who has noticed my fitness minutes creeping up can guess. <BR> <BR> I've gotten into a bit of a routine. Monday: get up, teach, come home, go to the gym, shower, lunch, whatever. Tuesday: get up, go to the gym, shower, lunch, whatever. Wednesday: Teach all day. Thursday: same as Tuesday. Friday: same as Monday. <BR> <BR> So its been going well. My mom was gone this week in Kentucky with my dad so TJ was able... Fri, 27 Sep 2013 09:43:54 EST I was right about Sunday... :-D So yep = I'm engaged. Super happy. Now I just have to figure out how to actually wear a ring. Never been a big fan, but I think I'll make an exception for this one ;-) <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <img src=""> Mon, 16 Sep 2013 15:18:03 EST I like to move it, move it. Quick update before I hit the gym with my mom... <BR> <BR> I have been going to the gym in the morning after I teach class, or on days I don't teach around the same time of the day... Started with cardio, doing about 30-45 minutes or so. We started getting there around the time The Price is Right is on, so I've been watching that and wanting to stay on and see who wins the showcase, so its been a good distraction. <BR> <BR> The first week the pool at the Y was being cleaned, so no pool tim... Thu, 12 Sep 2013 10:42:14 EST Feeling like Regina George... I have a quick half hour to blog before class... A lot has happened in the last two days. Some of you may have noticed my fitness minutes climbing up. <BR> <BR> So right after my last blog I started looking up the rates for the YMCA. In my area they’re running a special where they waive the $100 joining fee and you pay the dollar amount of the date. I went downstairs and convinced my mom to join with me, so for $3 instead of $100 (plus the $59/mo) we joined the Y. <BR> <BR> Now I also... Fri, 6 Sep 2013 09:40:45 EST Diet Bet? Does anyone join the Diet Bet? Ever heard of it? <BR> <link> </link> <BR> <BR> It stands for Diet Better -- and you bet yourself $25 that you will lose 4% of your body weight in 4 weeks... If you win, you divide the pot with other people who also lost 4% on their bet. If you don't make the 4%, then you're out your "bet." <BR> <BR> The girls over at Myfitsperation (aka Hannah and Olivia from BL 11 -- <link> </link> ) have a team up... Tue, 3 Sep 2013 14:56:20 EST So the last two weeks have been rough... So the last two weeks have been rough... <BR> <BR> I was rushing through trying to finish up at my job, “post-doc” in my old lab. I say that with quotes because I actually lost my benefits, started paying taxes, and getting paid less – which is the opposite of everyone else when they postdoc. <BR> <BR> I just had a really negative last week there. I tried to convince my boss to keep paying me to write him a grant and the two papers we need to publish ASAP and then help with the other two ... Tue, 27 Aug 2013 09:41:47 EST One Year Post Brachioplasty Loose skin and skin removal surgery is something that comes up, so I wanted to share my progress. I kind of made a long post, because I’ve gotten some of the same questions over and over again from people. <BR> <BR> Photos: <link> </link> <BR> <BR> Its been a year from the 1st surgery, and I just got a flash drive from my plastic surgeon full of pictures. I just want to preface this with the fact that I don't regret my surgery one bit -- even with all the crap that ha... Wed, 21 Aug 2013 11:55:52 EST I'm always going to be fat. There I said it. I'm always going to be fat. <BR> <BR> Now, don't take this the wrong way... I'm not. This is a body acceptance post. <BR> <BR> I am not going to ever become a Fitspo poster model. It is not in my genes. At all... Besides, have you read this? <BR> <link><BR>19/fitspo-sucks-5-reasons-photos-of-ho<BR>t-women-and-catchy-slogans-are-ruining<BR>-the-world/ </link> <BR> <BR> Also today’s Spark Blog post is great: <link>www.sparkpeople... Thu, 1 Aug 2013 11:27:45 EST Well... I needed fruit. Well... I needed fruit. I gave up on the super low carb. My body hated it. I was following the rules, supplementing, drinking enough water... and I lost weight. But everything hurt. For some reason my leg muscles were really tender, like bruised, not strained. I also felt immensely better after having some carbs... so I listened to my body and gave up on the low carb/high fat thing. <BR> <BR> Instead I’m still lower carb, but I’m filling up on fruits and veggies. I had some amazing ... Mon, 29 Jul 2013 14:23:48 EST Still trucking. So I had an epiphany. I'm losing control over my life. I am searching for a job... I am hunting for a job... and still I have no job. Making $10/hr with a PhD is just depressing. Seriously, 10 years of college to make less than I would if I just had a bachelors. Ugh. <BR> <BR> So anyway -- I can't control the job situation. So I am controlling my food and exercise. The low carb thing is still going. I lost six # the first week, 2.5# the second week... so good. I can't complain abou... Mon, 22 Jul 2013 16:10:48 EST Week 2 of new diet focus Last week went well weight wise. I guess I'm in the honeymoon period of low carb dieting. By switching and reducing my carbs, I burned my glycogen stores -- which hold onto a lot of water. <BR> <BR> I also ate around 1300-1500 calories a day, trying to stay near 1300. Add to that the workouts that I have been doing, and I have seen results! So this first little bit really helped my motivation to keep going. <BR> <BR> The first week, I went from 198-->193. I'm going to keep this up and ... Mon, 15 Jul 2013 15:15:31 EST Why I’m cutting carbs... Why I’m cutting carbs... A few people have asked so I thought I’d just blog about it. <BR> <BR> I gained 10 pounds in 2 months eating carbs. No joke. I stopped focusing on eating as many fruits and veggies and instead slid down into the hole of carbs and sugar. I’m a sugar addict. I’m a diet cola addict. I’m a carb-a-holic. Its bad. <BR> <BR> I’m not going to do super low carb for my long term plan. Spark obviously doesn’t advise that, and I don’t either, but I need a kickstart to... Thu, 11 Jul 2013 11:06:44 EST So tiiiired... I'm still in the swing of things with my comeback. But its hard. I forgot how hard it was to limit calories sometimes. I'm sort of trying to do a double whammy of low carb and reduced calorie to see if that will help, but I'm a fruit-a-vore. And its summer, so there's delicious fruit everywhere. <BR> <BR> Basically I'm eating paleo, but not strict. I was aiming to keep my carbs at the 50gram range each day, but my serving of cherries was nearly half that. And so was yesterday's apple *... Tue, 9 Jul 2013 16:26:55 EST Monday blahs... How is it already 11AM? Today has flown by mostly with me on the internet. I woke up incredibly sore today. I’m overtraining. My freakout of being near 200# has led me to jump right back into fitness like a fiend. <BR> <BR> I already did 2 5ks... right from doing nothing. I have a giant blister on the back of my left foot because of this, but I’m surviving. I just wanted to use the treadmill while I still could. Its at my parents house so its not with me this week in Columbia. I’m b... Mon, 8 Jul 2013 12:24:51 EST Getting in Gear! Since I can’t sleep – I might as well blog, right? I’ll just post this in the morning... <BR> <BR> I’m playing the waiting game. I went for my second interview on Monday. I don’t know how it went. I like it. I want to work there... I just... don’t know. I don’t know if I sounded smart. Asked enough questions... made it seem like I really wanted to work there... its just weird. I don’t know if I messed it up. So instead of worrying about it = I just did my nails. That’s what I usua... Wed, 3 Jul 2013 10:34:55 EST So about that job... I had two interviews on the 14th. I had a solid job offer to start on the 1st, but I have basically decided that it is just not for me. It would be a two year commitment to reproductive endocrinology... which is just a bit too far away from the biochemistry/cancer biology that I was looking at doing. <BR> <BR> So I've put my eggs in the stem cell basket. Don't worry -- no embryos here -- just plain old adult stem cells harvested from the colon of adults. I finally caved and emailed the ... Tue, 25 Jun 2013 16:01:43 EST Good news! Okay – so I just checked my last blog update. I was going to work out more. Possibly join a gym. ...and then I got a few phone calls. <BR> <BR> Last Saturday I ended up at Shakespeare in the Park in St. Louis (its really great this year – go see it if you can!) with some friends. My friend Erin brought one of her friends Nikki to the show. Nikki casually mentioned that they were looking for post-docs in the lab she works in at WashU. I look the guy up, he looks interesting, stem cells,... Mon, 17 Jun 2013 13:22:01 EST Fighting my inner fat kid I've been eating bad lately... and as a result my belly is back. I'm talking super jiggly, tire around the middle belly. AND I HATE IT. Seriously. What the heck have I been doing? Answer: eating like crap and not working out. <BR> <BR> Solution: start eating healthy and working out. <BR> <BR> SO I'm going to get back on the old wagon and get moving. And I'll shut up and wear my Spanx until then. The hardest part right now is telling myself 'no.' I somehow have justified bad eat... Thu, 6 Jun 2013 10:40:19 EST A History of Plus Size Models Here's a link to an interesting article: <link><BR>dels-2013-5#the-early-20th-century-has<BR>-the-reputation-of-embracing-curvier-w<BR>omen-with-the-supposed-american-venus-<BR>based-on-miss-america-1926s-silhouette<BR>-measured-a-thin-34-265-375-thats-stil<BR>l-rather-thin-but-its-nothing-compared-to-what-would-come-1 </link> <BR> <BR> <BR> H&M recently featured plus-size model Jennie Runk wearing the new swimsuit collection on its homepage, seamless... Fri, 31 May 2013 10:33:36 EST Nomad Life I'm in week three or four of my post-house sold life. I'm still staying with my friend Ania and her family (husband/two kids) so its a little strange. I'm trying to not be in the way, help out, not make a mess... and apparently not buy food. Their fridge is packed. The first week I was here I brought a ton of food... and there wasn't really room and it stressed Ania out a bit I think. <BR> <BR> SO this week, I was just here Tues night-Friday morning, so I didn't bring any food at all. ... Thu, 30 May 2013 15:04:45 EST Quick update Life is still going strong. The streak of positive health got derailed though... <BR> <BR> Basically I've blogged about her in the past, but if you look back a few months there was a girl working in my lab who is delusional and horrible at science. She also happens to think the world revolves around her and she is a genius and we should all bow down to her superior knowledge. Now as I just said, she is horrible at science, so her skills and attitude do not complement each other. She fail... Thu, 23 May 2013 13:55:17 EST Random Photo Blog Random photo blog day... Not much has changed. I swear my doctor's scale is off by 5# compared to the one at my house. It says higher, so I'm inclined to believe its my breakfast/drinks/clothes/error making me weigh more at their office. I was there this morning for an eyelid rash :-/ I'm not supposed to wear makeup for a week... since that's not happening, I'm putting on my required oinment and putting makeup on AROUND where the ointment is. I'm compromising with no eyeliner, but god ... Tue, 14 May 2013 12:38:27 EST Birthday Weekend Stress Thank Jesus that the scale is moving down. It honestly made me feel better to see 189.7 this morning. Even though its just 0.3# from 190, that made all the difference to my silly head. <BR> <BR> So, back on the plan for one week + shark week bloat gone = down three pounds. <BR> <BR> Awesome. <BR> <BR> This weekend was a roller coaster of emotions. Friday I ate well-ish. I ate my veggies. Got my lunch comped because they overcooked my tuna steak (mmm... tuna steak!) and made it home.... Mon, 13 May 2013 17:28:38 EST Day 1 Done Yesterday was my Day 1 of rebooting. Done. Just barely under my calorie goal. But under. I also redid my tracker/goals. Spark called me a crazy woman and I readjusted my expectations. <BR> <BR> I'm still feeling a bit lazy, so I'm focusing on food. I need to get used to counting and tracking everything. If it goes in my mouth, its going in my tracker. I am doing this ASAP after I eat. I think I need the accountability of doing this. Its weird looking at the food I was eating bot... Wed, 8 May 2013 13:39:21 EST I can do this. You can do this. We will do this! Well that hurt, but it wasn’t as bad as it could have been... Stepping on the scale this morning, I just said to myself “screw it, whatever it is, is just the beginning of starting over.” So I got on. 193. It was up. Honestly it has been up for awhile, I just kept denying that my tracker set at 184 wasn’t that off. OR I was just going to not update it again until I got below 184 where it has been set for awhile. <BR> <BR> Then I remembered, this is not the point of Spark. Sometimes I... Mon, 6 May 2013 22:01:38 EST