SHERRYGAYL's SparkPeople Blog SHERRYGAYL's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Sherry and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year This weekend is my one year "sick-iversary"! Oh, it hasn't been one thing where I could say "I have whatever and this is the suggested treatment". Goodness no. First was the increased damage/pain in my wrists from ill fitted braces. Took a couple of weeks for the extra pain to settle back down to the normal levels. Then a doctor started mixing up some of my medications and they really messed up my system. One of them had me sleeping constantly and when I complained, she upped my dose. ... Sat, 29 Nov 2014 20:02:07 EST The "P" word I always tell my kids, "There's no such thing as 'perfect'." "Practice makes improvement, don't worry about perfect, go for better or amazing, perfect is unattainable". <BR> <BR> As I was sitting here contemplating my day I caught myself being upset that I didn't do everything "perfectly". I only tracked my breakfast today and probably had too many carbs and not enough protein. <BR> <BR> However, I did put 2 hours in to taming this mess I call a home. My autistic 10 year old daughter comm... Mon, 30 Sep 2013 21:57:34 EST Ready to re-commit Since April I have gained and lost the same 5lbs probably 4 or 5 times. I recognize that it's probably just normal fluctuations but it's still frustrating and not where I want to be. In fact, this morning I weighed in at 25lbs to my goal weight. <BR> <BR> It was a difficult summer. I've been dealing with financial problems, stress, depression... all sorts of unpleasantness that makes it difficult to stay on track. But I accept that my life won't change until I do. So I'm working on some... Sun, 29 Sep 2013 09:52:35 EST I wish I'd known this earlier! I've been doing some reading and learned that a lot of people with chronic sinus problems like I have get relief by eating a gluten free diet. So I started researching GF diets and thinking about the complications of making the change. Today I saw my mom and told her that I was planning to go GF to see if I got any relief for my problems. <BR> <BR> She thought about it for a moment and then informed me that when I was a newborn I was so congested (see? this really HAS been with me my entir... Sun, 22 Sep 2013 16:40:34 EST NSV! When school got out in the spring all of my routines went poof. I stopped exercising regularly, stopped tracking my food, and started eating more empty calories. Not like I would have before I changed my attitude but still, there it was, sugar and soda and fries almost every day. It's a wonder I didn't gain any weight. I did, however, notice that my shorts were a little less comfortable and have been wearing my larger size jeans. <BR> <BR> When school started a couple of weeks ago I star... Wed, 11 Sep 2013 17:11:40 EST Chuck E Cheese's pizza is NOT a health food! My cousin's husband is an educated man. In fact, he has a Ph.D. in early childhood development and is a tenured professor at the local university. In spite of that, I heard him tell his children (ages 9 and 6) to finish their pizza "because it will help (them) grow big and strong". <BR> <BR> Two days later and I'm still flabbergasted. Of course, now he's saying that he just wanted the kids to finish the last slices because they were going to start whining for food as soon as they got in t... Tue, 10 Sep 2013 09:25:24 EST End of summer update... I'm back(ish)! It seems that my kids are growing up on me! My son started his first day of college today. He's starting at the local community college with the plan of transferring to a university after 2 years. Although I won't see him everyday things aren't really changing that drastically just yet. He'll be staying at my parents' house through the week because my mom works at the college and they can carpool. And, seriously, for the last year he's spent quite a lot of time at their house so I'm alre... Mon, 26 Aug 2013 09:20:07 EST Finally accepting my progress It's been 11 months since I started being healthier in my eating and activity choices. The last couple of months I've kind of leveled off about 20lbs from my original goal but I'm 60lbs down now <em>321</em> <BR> <BR> For a long time it was hard for me to accept when people said they could see a difference because I wasn't seeing it myself. But I do now. <BR> <BR> My stomach is still round and jiggly instead of flat and toned. My butt and thighs are a little bigger than necessary. ... Thu, 13 Jun 2013 16:31:57 EST Maybe just one more carb... Maybe just one more carb will settle my stomach. <BR> <BR> Maybe just one more carb will ease this migraine. <BR> <BR> Maybe just one more carb will lower my stress. <BR> <BR> Maybe just one more carb will make me happier. <BR> <BR> Maybe just one more carb will cure boredom. <BR> <BR> Maybe just one more carb will push me off this plateau. <BR> <BR> Or, you know, feed into the cycle of carb-craving that only gets worse when I have too many carbs and make it harder to lose weight and, b... Tue, 11 Jun 2013 23:16:39 EST 5lb regain red alert! I don't take the number on the scale very seriously. I know it fluctuates based on a variety of factors and is not an accurate representation of how much excess body fat I have or how overweight I am at any given time. As long as the general trend of the numbers is downward I accept fluctuations within a 5 or so lb range. That being said, on May 12 I weighed in at 159. Woohoo! Best number in many years! On May 19 I weighed in at 161. Hrm. Okay. No reason to take that seriously. It's... Mon, 27 May 2013 19:00:19 EST Just felt like bragging a little :) Today I wore a new bra. It has the same band size as the bras I wore throughout high school. Of course, it was fastened on the first hooks and the cup size is one bigger than back then but can I get a <em>244</em> I also realized today that when I weighed myself this morning, I only weigh 5lbs more than I averaged through high school <em>321</em> 4lbs from now is another major milestone... that's when I'll hit that "healthy BMI" range. Then, of course, 5lbs from now is back to wh... Sun, 12 May 2013 22:10:44 EST I'm not going to reach my goal! Recently I realized that I was not going to make my weight loss goal. I still have 21lbs to reach what I had pretty arbitrarily decided was my "ideal" weight and 18 days to do it. Not gonna happen. But a funny thing happened when I started really examining what this meant. I realized that I don't care anymore. <BR> <BR> Not the BIG "don't care" but an even BIGGER "don't care". I realized how little the number on the scale means to me now. I realized that it's no longer about merely los... Mon, 6 May 2013 16:33:39 EST My new nickname (or Pointlessly Meandering Thoughts about my family) Yesterday was my father's birthday so we went over to his house to have dinner with him. My son wasn't well so he stayed home but my daughter and I went. My aunt came, as did my cousin and her husband and 2 kids. <BR> <BR> My cousin's husband is, well, I don't know quite know the best word to use here. He's alright. He's likable enough. Not really quite as smart as he thinks he is, honestly, but that's not an unusual trait. He has a Ph.D. in early childhood development and is a tenured... Tue, 30 Apr 2013 13:08:12 EST Spreading the Spark! Several things have happened recently that call my attention to the positive changes I've made. Yesterday I went to a seminar and won the big door prize (really made me feel like I was in the right place, more on that in another post). I've also been getting a lot of compliments lately. Not just about my appearance, either. This past Tuesday my daughter's horse-riding coach said she'd never noticed how pretty my eyes were before. Someone else last week said something nice about my smile.... Fri, 12 Apr 2013 08:37:23 EST Oh boy did I screw up! Yesterday I went to the grocery store for just a few items and happened upon a bag of Natural Ruffles chips that were out of place. So, of course, I brought the bag home thinking I could have one serving per day with my lunch or dinner. I measured out my 1oz serving with my dinner and enjoyed that very much. Oh, they were so good! And because they were there and the bag was open I ended up grazing on a handful every time I went into the kitchen. Much, much sooner than it should have been... Wed, 10 Apr 2013 22:49:25 EST Slowly... I've been losing weight... slowly. <BR> I've been working on getting divorced... slowly. <BR> I've been learning to start a home business...slowly. <BR> <BR> I've been going more and more slowly until it feels like I'm going to stop. So for now <BR> <BR> I will begin to exercise reliably again... slowly. <BR> I will wait for my divorce court date (next month) while time passes... slowly. <BR> I will be more and more involved with SP and my SparkFriends whom I know I've been neglecting... s... Mon, 8 Apr 2013 22:26:45 EST Perspective! I finally figured out why, even at a size 10, I still see myself as fat. OK, it's true that my BMI is still in the unhealthy range (by 11lbs!) but I'm wearing a 10 jeans (I have 8s hanging up in my bathroom now, never thought that would happen!) <em>9</em> . But why do I still see myself as fat? I can look in the mirror and be thrilled with the reflection and I'm pretty happy with pictures of me these days so what's going on here? <BR> <BR> It's my point-of-view! My proportions haven't... Sat, 6 Apr 2013 16:59:46 EST Reflections This morning I was with my mom and she asked if there was anything I needed today. I said, "Well, not really. Although, I don't have any clothes that fit me anymore. Almost everything I have is too big!" Within 10 minutes we were parking at Kohl's <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> As we approached the door I noticed a reflection of a woman in the glass. I only briefly noticed her but she was rather attractive and looked quite slender and was wearing the same colors I was. Then the door opened a... Sat, 9 Mar 2013 18:02:14 EST Never try, never fail -- I need a new mantra! When my son was a little guy there was an animated movie about a robot society (I think maybe it was just called "Robots") that had several cutesy catch phrases in it. One character built his life around "See a need, fill a need" and was a successful inventor/businessrobot. Another character built his life around "Never try, never fail" and was a homeless bum who never accomplished anything. <BR> <BR> One of these phrases is admirable and something to aspire toward. The other is the one ... Tue, 26 Feb 2013 11:08:46 EST Feeling more at peace with everything In the words of Doris Day, "Que sera sera, whatever will be will be, the future's not ours to see, que sera sera." <BR> <BR> I'm not completely out of danger of being evicted yet but the manager that's been giving me so much grief is no longer working here as of the 28th. So I figure either picking on me is no longer a priority and I'm safe, or he's going to get that last shot in on his way out the door and I'll have to move next week. I don't care why he's leaving. In fact, I hope his dr... Sat, 23 Feb 2013 21:47:16 EST Lots of whining today. Don't read if you don't want to hear it! I've mentioned before about what a prick my new apartment manager is. Well, Friday I got a notice that "during routine maintenance" my house was too messy and one more notice and I'd be evicted. Seriously? Routine maintenance? I can't even get an air conditioner filter around this place! What happened to the work order I put in 6 weeks ago that was never followed up on? But he just left here a few moments ago after telling me that I'm not good enough and not taking care of "his" propert... Mon, 18 Feb 2013 12:21:52 EST Be the change you wish to see Now that it's Valentine's Day everyone is talking about love, especially love for a significant other. Many of us, for many reasons, don't have a significant other to "share the day" so what do we do? <BR> <BR> Certainly sitting around lamenting our situation is one option. Spending time with other loved ones is a better option. But why do we limit our love to certain people on a certain day? <BR> <BR> Love is endless and eternal. Love can not die or run out. In fact, the more we expre... Thu, 14 Feb 2013 12:20:15 EST Truth is... I'm not surprised I didn't lose weight this past week. Disappointed, of course. It's always nice to step on the scale and see a difference. But last week I lost 2.5lbs that I did not earn. Those were sickness pounds from being ill and lacking energy for over a week. Maintaining rather than gaining that weight back, in truth, is a victory. <BR> <BR> On the other hand, I've been in the 170s for quite a few weeks now and am really ready for that 7 to go down to a 6! It hasn't even fluctua... Tue, 12 Feb 2013 13:29:10 EST Birthdays and goals! Today my baby girl turned 10 years old. I don't know how that happened! I told my mom that there must have been some kind of jump in the space/time continuum because it's just not possible! <BR> <BR> But along with birthdays comes food. Usually unhealthy food. We went to Kobe hibachi for lunch. I have no way of knowing the calorie and fat count on that. There's a mountain of white rice fried in butter and a bunch of beautiful veggies, also fried in butter. I had the steak. Fried, of ... Sun, 10 Feb 2013 17:26:08 EST It's all about choices Diets fail because they are focused on deprivation. "I can't have a cookie because I'm on a d-i-e-t." And diet becomes a bad word to be dreaded and avoided like other taboo words in our language. So you're feeling deprived and martyred and then forcing yourself to workout like it's a punishment. If by some miracle you do manage to reach your goal weight with this attitude, then what? <BR> <BR> Deprivation and punishment certainly are not sustainable over a lifetime! No wonder dieters te... Wed, 6 Feb 2013 22:50:08 EST Noticing changes in my body I was SO sick yesterday! It was awful! I actually asked my parents to come take my daughter for the day. I don't think I've ever done that before. I mean, she's stayed with them when we've planned for it or once in a while she'll ask to or they'll call and ask to take her somewhere. But I think this is the first time I've ever just sent a message saying please come get her. So they did and she had a great day and was very good for them but that's not what I'm here to discuss. <BR> <BR>... Mon, 28 Jan 2013 13:25:47 EST Still finding motivation/inspiration in unconventional places! Or perhaps it's really not as deep <BR> As I've been led to think <BR> Am I trying much too hard? <BR> Of course! I've been too close to see <BR> The answer's right in front of me <BR> Right in front of me <BR> <BR> It's simple really, very clear <BR> Like music drifting in the air <BR> Invisible, but everywhere <BR> Just because I cannot see it <BR> Doesn't mean I can't believe it <BR> <BR> "Jack's Obsession" by Danny Elfman <BR> <BR> I finally buckled down and made myself walk a mile th... Thu, 24 Jan 2013 10:24:25 EST Praise from physician! My doctor was really happy with my progress! She was actually excited about my weigh in! Last June I was 221 at an office visit. Today the scale said 174 <em>321</em> She asked me what I was doing differently and I replied it really is as easy as eating healthier foods and being more active. Before I would have a dozen cookies for lunch while watching TV and followed by a candy bar or ice cream for dessert. Now I have healthy choices available for lunch and am intentionally active! ... Wed, 23 Jan 2013 18:20:35 EST Time for my physical! I have an appointment for my annual physical first thing in the morning! Well, second or third thing, really but still very early! I'm grateful it's early because they asked me to come in fasting. I don't do well without breakfast. And this office is soooo slllooooowwwww. <em>134</em> With any luck being an early appointment means they won't be so far behind schedule. <BR> <BR> I plan on asking her if the goal weight I have in mind is actually a reasonable goal for me. I just figu... Tue, 22 Jan 2013 22:40:29 EST In the immortal words of Britney Spears, "Oops, I did it again" The other day I added daily fiber intake to my nutrition tracker. The only problem is that it doesn't show up on the app as I add my food through the day! When I ran the daily progress report after my evening snack, my calories, carbs, fat, and protein were perfect but I was under on fiber. So, naturally, I ate an apple (red delicious, of course). <BR> <BR> Well, I really did not realize apples were so high in calories! So now my carbs, fat, and protein are still perfectly comfortable wi... Mon, 21 Jan 2013 22:19:59 EST A form of dysmorphia? It seems that my body image has been rather warped for quite a number of years now. I've always looked into mirrors or at pictures of myself and not recognized the overweight woman there. I just never saw myself as fat. I would even look at the waist of a pair of pants and think how it must be smaller than it looks because, seriously, I'm NOT fat! I even get a little weirded out when women on The Biggest Loser weigh in at my starting weight. I figure they must be really short to be THAT ... Sat, 19 Jan 2013 16:42:13 EST Routine? What routine? Monday was OK. I didn't do a ton but got caught up on some housework, took my morning walk, too, I think. <BR> <BR> Then the rain moved in. It has rained Biblically this week. There are lakes where normally there are golf courses and softball fields. Tuesday and Wednesday school was delayed 2 hours. <BR> <BR> Happily, the rain moved out last night. Just in time for the winter weather warning to take effect! Temperatures dropped significantly during the day today. Snow/sleet mix was i... Thu, 17 Jan 2013 20:53:33 EST Lacking focus I have so many things I want to do! And I know I have potential in all of them but I need something that will provide quick results in the form of money. My crafts still aren't selling so I guess my work is still sub-par. I've started writing some children's books but have a really hard time with the last pages and have no idea where to go about publishing/marketing/etc. I also know I'd be great as either a parent advocate for special needs students or a personal/life coach in a gym or o... Tue, 15 Jan 2013 22:49:08 EST Change of pace... funny little NSV I love my mom. She's generally pretty great. We do have our issues but what two people don't? Sometimes I wish she could retire already so we could spend more time together (and because her job sucks but that's a different story) but it's really best that she's working right now. You see, she has a shopping problem. She can't stay home for two days in a row and what's there to do when you're not working? Shop, of course! <BR> <BR> And anything on a clearance rack is fair game. Case in... Mon, 14 Jan 2013 15:37:26 EST Aw crap... OK, right, I keep forgetting. Record food before consuming to ensure no surprises at the end of the meal! I got it into my thick skull today that it would be a good day to order pizza (thin crust, of course) and ate 4 slices. So I'm at just under 1700 calories for the day. Of course, being Sherry Silver-Lining Seeker that I am, the good part here is that I'm finally not hungry! I was so hungry all day! I even chewed gum to stave off snacking! I guess that's why I could eat 4 slices! T... Sun, 13 Jan 2013 21:08:33 EST Finding my routine again So this week didn't go according to my grand plan of just jumping back into routine while the kiddos were at school. Not at all! It's been raining, so no morning walks. The house was really messy so Tuesday was spent cleaning up rather than a focused workout. Of course, that was over 2 hours of my day so definitely burned some calories! I guess I did a lot more than I realized because Wednesday I just wanted to sleep <em>102</em> Today was rough, too. I didn't accomplish half what I ... Thu, 10 Jan 2013 22:47:17 EST Bedtime yoga and toxic thoughts Every night before I go to sleep I do 20 minutes of relaxing, gentle yoga-based stretches. (Okay, I missed 2 nights over the long holiday break when I was too tired by the time I got to bed to actually stay awake an extra 20 minutes, but almost every night!) During this time I don't focus on any of the thoughts that come into my head. I just let them drift in and back out again. They go fairly quickly if you don't try to hold on to them. <BR> <BR> But last night I noticed that every thou... Tue, 8 Jan 2013 17:18:03 EST One more week til seriously renewed effort! I knew going into today that it wasn't going to be my healthiest eating day ever. We had pizza for dinner this evening. <em>483</em> Papa Johns thin crust with veggies. And, yes, I went over on calories and fat for today. Amazingly, however, I did not go over on carbs... don't know how that happened! And I know that tomorrow won't be my best eating day, either. I'm taking the kids to a buffet for lunch and then a movie. Fortunately, the buffet includes a very nice salad bar <em>36... Mon, 31 Dec 2012 23:17:16 EST Question about stomach trouble in children with autism I've always heard that children with autism tend to have stomach and digestion problems and that a lot of these children have a GI doctor as one of their regular specialists. Well, every once in a while my girl will randomly vomit and then within 2-3 hours she's completely well as though nothing had ever happened. The longest extended period was in first grade when we were getting ready to move. For about a month she woke up sick every morning and was fine by lunch time. Finally we left a... Sun, 30 Dec 2012 22:42:38 EST Hormonal, maybe? For the last couple of days I have just been so hungry! Today I went over my max calories by 51. It was mostly good calories... I had 2 salads, a banana, grapes, 3 healthy meals... 1 cookie but, hey, I said MOSTLY good calories <em>211</em> <BR> <BR> I've also been headache-y and kind of drained. I did get some dancing in this morning before the kids woke up so I wasn't sedentary all day. <BR> <BR> But I've been hungry and tired and headache-y and bloated! Now I admit that it could ... Sat, 29 Dec 2012 23:21:23 EST sleep, cardio, energy, excuses In a way I feel so spoiled when the kids don't have school! I get a solid 8-9 hours of sleep almost every night and it feels so luxurious! On days when I have to be up by 6, I'm lucky to get a full 7 hours. It's usually closer to 6 hours and 45 minutes. <BR> <BR> But I almost think I function more fully at the 7 hour mark than at the 9. It takes me a little longer to pull myself together but once I'm up on school days I get so much more done! When I sleep longer and don't HAVE to get up... Fri, 28 Dec 2012 23:11:54 EST Looking forward! Tomorrow I will feel better because I ate better today. Tomorrow I will take care of some of the things I procrastinated today and then I will feel better still. <BR> <BR> I'm excited about 2013 because I intend to become financially self-sufficient. I am on track to reach my goal weight in the spring. I really want to be able to finish paying to file the divorce papers so I can move on with my life as a divorcee, maybe even go out on a date! <BR> <BR> My son will graduate high school in... Wed, 26 Dec 2012 23:05:34 EST Lesson learned! So I took the day off of counting every little carb and calorie. My mother made her traditional spaghetti for Christmas lunch (yeah, I know, whatever. I just go with it) with enriched elbow noodles and a fancied up jar of Ragu sauce. I used a small paper plate but filled it twice. I also had some store bought cole slaw and a crescent roll and a Pepsi Max, followed by about a third of a slice of chocolate pie. There wasn't a veggie in sight at lunch and I can only guess at my portions! Oh... Tue, 25 Dec 2012 23:24:19 EST I ated a cookie! I did. I was putting the Santa cookies away and gave one to my son. I was taking the other one to the kitchen to put back with the rest of the batch when I thought, "Forget it! I want a cookie, darn it!" And I ate it. I didn't feel like digging the wrapper out of the garbage to record the numbers so I'll take care of it in the morning. And today's numbers will go from within all my ranges to over on fat but top of my range in calories and carbs. Protein, of course, I barely hit my mini... Mon, 24 Dec 2012 23:55:40 EST Confession! If you've read several of my posts this week then you probably have the impression that I thoroughly disdain this national orgy of competitive consumerism that we subject ourselves to every year while saying it's in the name of Christ. You'd be right. Although I do try to live my life by the teachings of Christ, I also study other spiritual leaders, teachers, and traditions, and do not consider myself to fall under any modern definition of Christian (except perhaps gnostic). <BR> <BR> Howe... Sun, 23 Dec 2012 23:30:36 EST easy day I kind of slacked off today. I did clean both bathrooms. The kitchen is clean. I started some laundry but then forgot about it. Oops. I'll get that in the morning. My girl spent most of the day on the computer and my boy went to stay with my parents for a couple of nights. I managed to get a netbook hooked to my network. That was troublesome. It took me over an hour to figure it out. It wasn't as simple as following the directions that came with it. My mom got it to give my girl fo... Sat, 22 Dec 2012 23:17:11 EST Headaches make me ramble I don't know why I have such a headache this evening. I don't think it's related to my dinner because it's just been coming on in the last hour or so and dinner was hours ago. And not dreadfully unhealthy. I wrapped Butterball Turkey franks in Pillsbury crescent rolls and baked them until the rolls were cooked. OK, so it wasn't a salad but check the stats! It's not that bad! <BR> <BR> But I haven't done a lot of exercise today. I did clean my kitchen. Tomorrow will need to be the bath... Fri, 21 Dec 2012 22:47:25 EST What Would Jesus Buy? My favorite holiday movie is a documentary about Reverend Billy and the Church of Stop Shopping Choir titled "What Would Jesus Buy". They tour the country visiting malls and big business headquarters to protest the rampant consumerism that has taken over our society and is especially rampant this time of year. He is an environmentalist but his message is solid, even for global warming deniers. <BR> <BR> Personally, I don't do a lot of "Christmas shopping". I buy a few things for my kiddos... Thu, 20 Dec 2012 23:29:36 EST Not ready... Oh, I don't mean for Christmas. Rampant consumerism isn't important enough for me to stress over. No, I'm not ready for the kids to be out of school! <BR> <BR> If they're in the same room, chances are they're fighting or on the verge of fighting or I've just told them to cut it out. They complain all the time about being bored but they don't want to do anything I suggest. They whine constantly about the snacks that are available and the meals I make. But they eat all the snacks, anyway.... Wed, 19 Dec 2012 22:32:28 EST December December is always such a busy month, crowded with activities and obligations. I got married in December. This year it's been 19 years and it's the 2nd anniversary since I moved out, only the 1st since I realized there's no freaking way I'll ever get back together with him. My son was born in December. Quite a lot of our cross-country moves happened in December. My ex was in the navy and most of his transfers happened in December, just luck I guess. <BR> <BR> I always kind of felt as th... Tue, 18 Dec 2012 22:34:33 EST