SHELLE13's SparkPeople Blog

Intuition (Spidey Senses), the Rational Mind and Weight Loss - Where are we going wrong?!

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 16:40:35 EST

I just finished reading a really good book that deals with the causes of being overweight, and not necessarily food. It was called "You are WHY you eat." If you are struggling, I would highly recommend this book.

One thing I really picked up throughout the book is that often, those of us who are overweight (or obese like me), tend to distrust our intuition, or as the book calls it, our Spidey Senses.

Whe...

Brain Wiring...Does the old (fat) wiring every really go away???

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 12:59:43 EST

My leader made a really good connection this week...about brain wiring.

We have this old wiring that has patterns that helped us get to the weight we are at. This wiring is our old patterns, the unhealthy patterns that may cause us to overeat, to say we will start tomorrow, to throw in the towel because we already screwed up.

Then, we have this other wiring. This new wiring that we are trying to learn....

Interesting Week in Vegas for Work...Eating Difficult!

Sun, 9 Jun 2013 01:39:28 EST

I have spent the last week in Vegas for work. I am super tired, just drove home and got here about 8pm. I need to put myself to bed shortly.

Well...lastSunday, I went and got my food to eat clean all week and forgot I had to go to Vegas! Argh! Well, I packed a cooler with chicken, veggies and fruit before I left for Vegas. I have to say, overall I thought I did pretty well. Unofficially, my scale showed 223.5 before I left. Tomorrow I have my official WW weigh in so you will know ...

Terrible Day Yesterday...Considering Moving to Clean-Eating (Feedback pls!)

Tue, 21 May 2013 12:13:31 EST

I was almost back on track for 3 days in a row...and yesterday just was terrible! I had a very bad binge day, of which I have not binged like that in about a year. I am frustrated with my job, it's not what I want to be doing, but I have bills and student loans to re-pay. My boss is a micromanger and has litterally told me that "micromanaging works." He has never worked for any one else in his life and doesn't understand the problems that mm causes. Anyhow, it was a rough day and after spendi...

35 + 2 Days! Still struggling with weight and men, ugh!

Wed, 15 May 2013 11:35:33 EST

I turned 35 on Monday. I was a little worried about it...I never had an issue with 20 or 30, but the years with a "5" in it always seem to wig me out. 25 was tough, now looking back on it...I kinda feel like what was I thinking?!

But...at the same time...25 was hard for the same reasons that 35 was hard this year. I am not where I thought I would be in life. Yes, I did let go of the "planning" ideals when I hit 30 and just let things happen. But the two things that were frustratin...

13 days to 35! And..Biggest Loser Auditions

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 12:02:33 EST

I thought I would be able to drop about 10 pounds before my birthday....I am about 2 pounds down. I turn 35 in 13 days and that means that I will have been trying to lose weight for 26 years now! Ugh! I really hate that it has been this long and I am still trying to work my way through this.

So, I tried out for Biggest Loser last year and didn't get a call back. I had people staring me down and telling me I wasn't fat enough for the show. Of course, it wasn't the show people, but ...

28 Days to 35! My Challenge!

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 02:02:27 EST

A whole lot has been going on...the one consistent thing in my life has been my weight. Although, it ideally would be going down, I have gotten on the up 5, down 5 roller coaster and it's time to get off this thing.

My birthday is in 28 days. I was thinking on the plane today and a little tonight...there are changes I know I can make to get me healthier by my 35th birthday. I would LOVE to be in Onderland, but I know 16 lbs in 28 days is unrealistic. However, about 10 pounds in 28...

Happy Friday SP!

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 11:24:10 EST

Have a great weekend and be sure to eat healthy and work out! ;)

My Suit of Armor

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 11:09:22 EST

I've been struggling...for about 26 years! I am about to turn 35 next month and I am frustrated that I am STILL dealing with my weight challenges.

You would have thought I would have gotten it by now. Well, unfortunately, weight loss isn't that easy! As many of us find out. It isn't our bellies we need to get right, it's our brains. Our thinking, followed by our actions (or lack thereof) is what our weight is dete...

What You Eat in Private, You Wear in Public

Tue, 2 Apr 2013 00:13:32 EST

I just saw the movie Flight this weekend and thought it was done brilliantly! As I am watching this movie, I am see this character, little by little, give in to his weakness. Over and over again. Even though it is not doing him any good...D'oh! I do that?! But with food! Oi!

I started to think about my life. The one thing I have battled with since I was 9, is my weight. I can't ever seem to get a consistent grasp on it for a long period of time. I have given in to my weakness (foo...

Could my big bum have gotten that way cause I "feel" too much? ??

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 00:14:23 EST

Today I listened to a webinar about weight loss. The premise was that there are people that feel too much, and without changing their diet, gain weight as a result. Now, I know this sounds so silly to those of us that are lifelong dieters...but, when I stopped to really think about it...there might actually be something to it.

Apparently, there are chemical changes that do happen in the body that cause the it to gain weight during times of heavy emotion. I won't go into too much d...

Death by Doritos, Nacho Cheesier!

Wed, 27 Mar 2013 02:24:52 EST

Yesterday, my eating wasn't great, but it wasn't terrible. Today...today was another story. I took in over 3,000 calories! That is an all-time high for me. Most of it was in Doritos and a personal size gluten free pizza. Yes, those people that think gluten free will help them lose weight are soooo on the wrong path. My little (yes, it was little) pizza cost me 800 calories after I figured out how to calculate since it was from a mom and pop place.

Anyways...correlation to the food...

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes!

Mon, 18 Mar 2013 22:24:03 EST

So...I really thought that song said "Time may change me, but I can't change time" and "Turn and face the strange." In reality it is "Time may change me, but I can't trace time" and "Turn and face the strain." I'm a dork! I wasn't born in the Google age, so for those of you like me...we improvised to what we thought we heard! I think I like my lyrics better! J/K! LOL!

Anyways...so big, huge changes. I am moving this...

Tap, Tap, Do Over!

Wed, 13 Mar 2013 01:31:01 EST

Well...I was flying high on Saturday. For the first time in a really long time, I felt happy. I have a new place to move to next week and although I love my apartment, the safety issue is a bit too much. I am moving to a safer neighborhood. And, I had received a job offer, but declined as the money wasn't very good but more importantly, it wasn't a fit for me. And...I had finished three rounds of interviews for another place and was offered a position (with great growth potential), we had dis...

Feeling Better!

Sun, 3 Mar 2013 12:27:28 EST

I am finally feeling better! We hiked Griffith Park this morning and had a lovely view from the top. It was difficult today...I can tell I haven't been to the gym in a week. It's amazing how much harder things are when you stop exercising! Now that I got rid of that crazy cold, I am back on track to going to the gym and getting exercise!

There is a lot of change in motion in my life right now. I need to...

Light Bulb ON!

Sun, 24 Feb 2013 04:06:54 EST

It has been a crazy two weeks to say the least!

I am not going to get into details, but I will say that I have felt pretty much every emotion a person can feel. The only thing that is clear in my life as I write this, is that I want to make peace with my body. I want her to be healthy and loved. I don't want to trash her, treat her terribly or feed her crude anymore.

Tomorrow, I want to start to go sugar free (meaning no candy, cookies, ice cream, etc) until my 35th birt...

Running & Worry...

Tue, 12 Feb 2013 02:08:27 EST

I have been wanting to become a runner since...well, since I can remember. I think it's because it has always been something I have never been able to do, even when I was thinner. I do struggle with my breathing, but there are professional athletes that have the same challenges, but succeed. I have been thinking about this more and more...for too many years, I have listened to people who have discouraged me from even trying. I am not sure why I listen, but I think it has something to do with ...

Stress, Decisions and Sugary Conversation Hearts!

Sat, 9 Feb 2013 22:30:51 EST

Stress is a very strange thing. I don't think our ancestors ever had this amount of stress in their lives because the world has never moved as fast as it does today. We are constantly getting info thrown at us, interrupting us every moment of the day in the overly connected world. We carry this little device around with us that delivers calls, emails, text messages, instant messages, location markers, reminders, calendars and the list goes on. This week, I was on overload. I am a little disap...

Frustrated. Overwhelmed. Angry. Lost. Bitten. WL...Still on the Wagon!

Mon, 4 Feb 2013 09:30:51 EST

To say this past year has been difficult is an understatement. There are so many moving pieces in my life right now and I guess that is difficult for me, in and of itself. I am usually the one who is stable, knows what she wants and has direction.

As of late...I feel very unstable financially, my job is also unstable which is causing the financial instability, I don't know what I want and I feel for the first time in my life... I don't have any direction. It's a very odd place for...

Interesting Dream Last Night....

Thu, 31 Jan 2013 11:51:44 EST

I had a really strange dream last night. I dreamt that I was at what seemed like a zoo. We were looking through the glass into a animal habitat with lots of water and these wooden structures with four sides and minimal wood. Looking up, I saw that there were people there, hanging on for dear life onto these wooden structures. They looked very frightened. I looked down below the water level, through the glass, to see large alligators! Tons of them! I saw the gators circling the wooden structu...

Tomorrow's Gonna Hurt! Poor body of mine...

Sat, 26 Jan 2013 01:31:55 EST

So...this was me today!

I have been reading this blog by Katie called Runs for Cookies. She was the one who started the 10 person relay with people who have lost 100lbs or more and even included Ada from BL. Today was her birthday. She decided to do a virtual 5k and anyone could have signed up on her website. You would do the 5k on your own, around the neighborhood, at your gym, etc.

Well...I signed up a...

Bummed...

Wed, 23 Jan 2013 13:41:28 EST

Yep...the picture about sums it up. It's exactly how I feel right now.

Just found out that one of the jobs I interviewed for last week chose to go with another candidate. I get why they did, as they had a specific background that they were searching for. It was not my background. But, it doesn't change the fact that I feel sad about it. And bummed. And...that I have to continue working in my current job, which is j...

Stressed and Overwhelmed...Chocolate?!

Tue, 22 Jan 2013 12:41:09 EST

The two words above are always followed by the third word (chocolate) in my brain. It's been my go-to for the last 34 years.

However, I am happy to say, I have not ate these feelings. Though, it has been super trying! Not having that in my house has helped a lot.

I am stressed about my job, not knowing what is happening with the two interviews I had last week, yet still trying to balance the jobs I have...

The Elephant Who Wanted to be a Butterfly....

Mon, 14 Jan 2013 00:00:40 EST

I recently read a short story about an elephant that wanted to be a butterfly. The basic story was that everyone told the elephant that he could never be a butterfly because he was an elephant. He believed everyone for a while, but one day decided he wasn't going to listen to what everyone else was saying. He decided that he was going to do what he wanted to do...So, he found a way to become a butterfly!

I h...

Work....I may not be in the right place?!

Mon, 7 Jan 2013 12:14:24 EST

I am a medical sales rep for an independent company, with no benefits at all. I have had ups and downs with work, especially over the last two years. We lost a major line (due to a buyout) about a year and a half ago, but we were able to still keep a guarantee (minimum amount of pay, due to no benefits) and our gas card. Well, we got our gas card taken away in September last year and in November, they pulled our guarantee. Now I am on commission only. We were supposed to get paid on the 5th, ...

To the New Year! Welcome 2013!

Sun, 30 Dec 2012 01:23:40 EST

"The past should be the past. It can destroy the future. Live life for what tomorrow has to offer, not for what yesterday has taken away."

"Every time you subtract NEGATIVE from your life, you make room for more POSITIVE."

"The PAST is where you learned the lesson. The FUTURE is where you apply the lesson."

This year, my New Years Resolution is going to be simple...it's going to be ...

Day 17: Site Seeing Across CA, Stepping Away from the Calories!

Thu, 20 Dec 2012 16:27:26 EST

Well...it has been an interesting week to say the least. I have to go to WW to weigh in tomorrow, as I missed last week. My friend who is British, but has been living in Australia has come to visit. She asked if she could stay with me while here and I said yes. Again, still learning how to say No.

We have gone all over since Friday...Solvang, Hearst Castle, San Francisco, Alcatraz, Hollywood, Disneyland (I opted out here due to work, but drove her to and fro), San Diego yesterday,...

Day 4 , 5 & 6: Cookie Monster, Cookie Monster Returns, Bloater, Results of my Actions

Sun, 9 Dec 2012 02:25:08 EST

If you have been following me, you know that I tend to "forget" to blog when I am not doing something I should be doing. It is a silly pattern of mine, and yes, it is childish. I don't mean to, but I am trying to work on it. Which...is why I am posting today.

Day 4 was Thursday....Thursday I was emotional. Unhappy again back at my old job and on commission only now, so stressed about finances. What did I do? I had good intentions and put gym clothes on in the morning...Well, I ende...

Day 3: Survived the Dating Mixer!

Thu, 6 Dec 2012 10:45:36 EST

Well....last night a friend of mine and I went to a Stir event/mixer.

I'm sure you have seen the commercials on TV for these things. Only, I thought there were puzzles or something to do, but when we got there, there was nothing.

We get into the place, and it is like a junior high dance at the gym. People just standing around, guys watching every girl that comes through the door and no one really talking....

Day 2: Avoided the 875 Salad at the Market Last Night!

Wed, 5 Dec 2012 12:37:31 EST

So yesterday, I did fairly well. I have to be proud of myself for passing up the potato salad at the market though! It was about a cup or so, but the package said it was 3.5 servings, wow! Little servings. It was also 875 calories for the container! Each serving was 250 calories...I am glad I chose to NOT put that in my basket. I could have easily eaten the container in one sitting, but I left it right there on the shelf for someone else to purchase!

This morning has started out we...

Day 1: Getting to a Healthy BMI, My Self-Challenge for 2013!

Tue, 4 Dec 2012 11:35:09 EST

So, I made a decision this morning. I am going to get to a healthy BMI within ONE year! I need to lose 75.2lbs to get to a 24.9 BMI, which puts me in the healthy category. A friend of mine decided to do Healthy Wage. I was reading over the details and the goal of the plan is to get you to a healthy BMI within a year. This challenge makes the assumption that it is a do-able goal. However, what I liked about it was that they do use WW as a official weighing location. So...I thought, maybe this ...

The Life I Want -vs- The Life I Have

Fri, 30 Nov 2012 00:37:47 EST

I had posted a question about working from home, but one of the answers I got back was about mindset. Not what I had anticipated...but, it started me thinking...

All of this, the tracking, the activity, the portion control, green pyramid foods, etc. All of this is Mindset.

It's changing the way we do things, forever. Re-learning how we think....Re-programming if you will. I know that weight loss is not t...

Love, Life, Family...Up, Down and All Around!

Mon, 26 Nov 2012 03:01:16 EST

I seemed to have disappeared for a while, about 5 weeks to be exact. Some things have changed over that short amount of time...and I am SO welcoming the end of Mercury Retrograde tomorrow!

Work - I gave notice, sort of and had been working a different full-time job, my old job as a part-time job and free lance. I also had a 3 hour commute each day (only 16 miles one way) in gridlock. Needless to say, I was overwhelmed, had no time for myself and was a bit miserable. I have to hand...

Day 4-7: NYE Challenge

Thu, 11 Oct 2012 14:08:50 EST

So...I have been really sick! I have taken 3 days off, and am sort of off today too, working from home. I have only been sick once in the last 5 years, where I really needed time off. I had salmonella poisoning.

Anyhow, I have still been tracking and trying to get as much water, veggies, apples, and salt in my diet as I can. I know the salt seems weird, but my body was draining the fluids so for one day, I had popcorn (salt) and that helped tremendously! I had made my own chicken ...

Day 3: NYE Challenge/Sinus Infection

Sun, 7 Oct 2012 11:56:40 EST

So I slept like 12 hours last night...I think I have a sinus infection. Explains the tiredness (not achy body), sore throat, ear plugged and stuffiness. I forgot to take my sinus meds last week 2 days in a row...See what happens?! LOL!

Here is my breakfast...this is what I typically make when I make breakfast. It's Frozen Potatoes O'brien (plain potatoes with peppers), 1 egg, 2 egg whites, 1 serving Canadian Bacon, asparagus, mushrooms, zucchini, and a little parmesan on top. Yum!...

Day 2: NYE Challenge/Photo Food Journal

Sat, 6 Oct 2012 14:31:28 EST

Well...I went to Zumba this morning...I feel like I am getting sick. I was dragging my legs around, they felt like stumps! Oh well! I made it through. I weighed in at WW this morning and knew I was going to gain because the week was terrible, except for yesterday. I gained one pound, I am so happy, it was just one pound! I am back on track now, so next week that pound will be gone forever!

So...for breakfast I had Starbucks Oatmeal with raisins and nuts, no brown sugar because the...

Day 1: Count Down to New Years Eve!

Fri, 5 Oct 2012 18:24:37 EST

This week...I just lost it! I think all of the crazy changes that happened last week just sinked in and I went beserk! I have to realize too...the second week before my peroid, I have the worst cravings and my brain jumps out the window. Note to self: Don't do that next month!

A very supportive SP Friend was doing a challenge where she posted what she ate each day. I think I am going to start doing that. I need to be more accountable and I will make myself take a pic, even if it's...

My Week in Review...Knowing and Action are NOT the same thing!

Sat, 22 Sep 2012 17:05:29 EST

"In life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action!" ~Anthony Robbins

This week...I read the above quote on my FB page from something or other. It kind of stuck with me and I think it applies so appropriately to weight loss! I KNOW how to do this program, I KNOW the pitfalls and I can probably even guide someone off a plateau...I have been doing this forever, along with other programs and learning about h...

Dating, Weight and Heart....

Wed, 19 Sep 2012 15:52:02 EST

I guess it's not surprise...I am a big girl. I never saw myself like that though, until recently. I still thought that even though I was carrying weight, I was still not "that" big...whatever "that" means. I think it was just a way for me to accept myself. By telling myself this little lie, I somehow made it okay. Not good, just okay.

Anywho...of the men I have dated in my past, ironically, none of them have been overweight nor have they been the type of guys that dated larger wom...

Returning to Weight Watchers...

Sun, 2 Sep 2012 13:05:39 EST

I have decided to come back to WW...I have had a lot of stress and unfortunately, I have allowed myself to resort to food. So, I now have a new starting weight. However, I am happy to report that I went to a meeting yesterday (my old meeting, with my old leader) and weighed in. I knew I had gained, but to be honest, the hardest thing was making myself step on that scale in front of someone else.

I understand a little more about myself by taking a break over these past few weeks. I...

When Enoughs Enough...

Fri, 24 Aug 2012 01:00:40 EST

As you may have seen, I have been MIA for about a month or so. I was still going to Weight Watchers, but was gaining and losing the same three pounds. My stress level has been through the roof because of my job and I just needed a break from tracking calories, tracking points, going to meetings, etc. etc. Also, a friend of mine was going with me to WW and she would tell me what she ate (it was usually bad, burgers, fries, chips, cheetos, etc), and she would weigh in and still she would lose....

My experience at the Biggest Loser Casting Call in San Diego

Fri, 27 Jul 2012 15:27:33 EST

So, last Saturday, I went to a Casting Call for Biggest Loser. It took me about a month to even decide to go, but I went. When I got there, there was a line and I had to walk down the line towards the end. While doing so, I was being eyed by everyone in the line and heard whispers here and there. It was the oddest experience. I felt that I was being sized up and judged on my weight, but it was like nothing else I had experienced in my life. I was actually told by a couple of people that I did...

Note to self: Get Your Head Straight Girl!

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 14:22:27 EST

I have told myself this time and time again...And, when faced with stress, I just fall back onto old habits. This past week, I was just so tired...Tired of tracking, tired of going up and down the same five to ten pounds, tired of looking for a job and being rejected because I am over/under qualified....just tired.

I let myself go 3, just THREE days, without tracking. You know what? I can do a lot of damage in 3 days, to the tune of 7.1 pounds! And guess what? It didn't make me fe...

"You have to look like that. Sorry. Don't hate."

Sun, 1 Jul 2012 03:25:40 EST

So, I live in Hollywood. There are a lot of crazy people here. A friend of mine came over and we walked over to the theater. On the way back, we met a bouncer and he told my friend, that if she was wearing heels, he would get her in free. Then he looked at me and said, "You have to look like that. Sorry. Don't hate." He pointed to a tall, thin blonde in spandex. I just looked at him at didn't say anything, ignored the comment.

It is said that we should not judge a book by its cove...

The Job/Food Link...

Mon, 25 Jun 2012 13:20:11 EST

I have been thinking a lot...there is a weird connection between my unhappiness with my job and my overeating. I am not happy in my job, my brain wants to eat. I have let it, then I reign back, then I let it...and it goes on and on. What the real problem is here, is not food. It's that I am in a job I don't like and even though I am very good at it, I don't get anything but criticism from my boss...who also happens to be my godfather. Go figure. So, I think not only am I getting negative feed...

Hi, I'm A Food Addict!

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 12:34:33 EST

According to Merriam Webster, the definition of Addict is "to devote or surrender (oneself) to something habitually or obsessively." I have done this all my life. Yesterday, I did so good all day, and got home...and just lost my self-control.

I had an interview in the morning, and I don't think I did as well as I had hoped. I think me thinking about this all day is what built up the anxiety. I ate way too much and most of it in a short time span. I had 2649 calories yesterday, yes...

Why do I soothe myself with food?!

Thu, 14 Jun 2012 15:30:39 EST

I have been doing good, then I will have a bad day. Last week was kinda ify, but I lost 2.2. This week is not looking as good. I am frustrated with myself because I know what I need to do, but I am afraid or something....I am not sure what it is.

I am finding myself mentally giving permission, after a 10 minute argument in my head, to eat things I don't even want. I know a lot of it is because I am unhappy with my job. However, I need to find another way to deal with this frustrat...

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back...

Fri, 1 Jun 2012 10:33:31 EST

Last week, I did phenomenally well! I lost 3.6, I was under my 1500 calories (and points) each and every day, except for one (which I used my WPA for). This week, it started out good and this train wreck just came through! I have had such a tough time doing this...but, I do know why.

One, is unfortunately my cravings are out of control...all I want is chocolate. I know this is a monthly occurrence for me if ya know what I mean. The other is, this week has been so stressful and emot...

I've lost over 131 lbs since 2003! And, I am still at my highest weight!

Fri, 18 May 2012 20:32:41 EST

I have been struggling. I know its no secret at this point. And...after some really hard and stressful, emotional days and weeks, I know exactly why I am not losing. I am simply eating too much. Yes, it's healthy foods. Yes, I am avoiding fast food. Yes, I am exercising. But, none of this does any good with weight loss if you are still overeating. I am overeating.

I took every WW weight record I could find, and believe me, I found a lot! I have some dating back to 2003. I threw th...

What? Me first?

Tue, 15 May 2012 00:24:27 EST

As I was driving today...something hit me smack in the face. "Why don't I just do what's good for ME?!" Now...I know I have said this before, that I need to take care of me and not be worried about everyone else.

But...today, it seemed like an epiphany. It literally slapped me across the face. Why am I re-arranging my life to make everyone ELSE'S life easier? Why am I not doing what is GOOD or BEST for me? As those of you who have been following my craziness know, my job is causin...