SHELLE13's SparkPeople Blog SHELLE13's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community New Goal for My 40th! Just because I want to write this down and make it "real", I am sharing my goal with you. I want to hit my 100lb weight loss by my 40th birthday in May. We are going to Italy and I don't want to have to worry about clothes shopping, certain activities or a bathing suit. <BR> <BR> My goal is to lose about 10 pounds each month and I will get there! I know some months will be less and some may be more, but I know this is a doable plan. <BR> <BR> My goal includes eating real, whole foods. No ... Mon, 16 Oct 2017 02:14:25 EST An Awakening... <img src=""> <BR> It has been a long time since I've posted anything. I have been doing a lot of soul searching and my life has completely changed. I was laid off in January and that was a tough experience for me. It allowed me to find something else though. I have started a certification to become a health coach! (Scary!) I will initially help people with digestive issues and diabetes management. I feel hypocritic... Thu, 12 May 2016 01:01:38 EST Being Kind to Myself When Life Gets Hairy <img src=""> <BR> <BR> This has been a difficult two weeks for me. Last Wednesday, I was laid off from work. I had just returned from vacation and was let go the following day, my position was eliminated. <BR> <BR> I spent most of last week trying to figure out logistics of my work belongings, returning them to corporate office, trying to figure out my pay, reading through severance contracts, etc. Come Monday m... Fri, 22 Jan 2016 22:59:33 EST New Start! !! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I am considering this a clean slate for me! <BR> <BR> I have tried with weight loss for many years. I have succeeded at times, and failed others. Recently, I have gained a bit of weight and am trying to get back down. <BR> <BR> I have been out of pocket because of my current position. I am one who always strives to do my best. I am desperately trying. Our company has had a lot of changes... Mon, 2 Nov 2015 00:29:36 EST Day 53: No Soda! (Diet or Regular) I am making progress! I am on Day 53 of no diet or regular soda. My migraines have subsided and I am super stoked about that! <BR> <BR> Now...I have done a little experimenting and found that my body is rejecting processed food. Even if it is supposed to be "healthy" processed foods. Also, my body will gain or maintain with that type of food. <BR> <BR> So...that means I need to do Simply Filling (WW), which is essentially eating clean. It is not the easiest thing for me and take a lot of ... Sun, 19 Jul 2015 00:33:54 EST Day 12: Ooohh! The Detox!!! Today is my 12th day and I am happy to say... <BR> <BR> * I have not had sweetener <BR> * I have not had red meat <BR> * I have not had junky food (cookies, Doritos, etc) <BR> * I have not had DIET soda or regular soda <BR> <BR> This is a huge WIN for me! !! I loooooove diet soda and sugar-free sweetener in my Starbucks lattes! Let me tell you though...the first four days I had the worst headache, which turned into a migraine. I thought, why is this happening? <BR> <BR> Duh! Your body is ... Sun, 7 Jun 2015 14:21:28 EST My 100 Day Challenge Tomorrow I will start my 100 day challenge to getting healthier. <BR> <BR> What does that look like for me? <BR> <BR> 1) No diet soda (or regular) -More water! <BR> 2) No junk food (defined as: drive thrus, chips, frozen yogurt, gluten free cookies, etc). <BR> 3) No red meat (help lower my cholesterol) <BR> 4) No fake sugar <BR> 5) Exercise at least 30 minutes per day <BR> <BR> I will start there. This will put me 4 days into my trip to Ireland in September! I really want to get off of th... Wed, 27 May 2015 02:21:49 EST Another Year...Wiser??? I haven't written for awhile. Thank you holiday weekend! <BR> <BR> I have really been looking at what I have done in the past, the results I have gotten and how I am feeling. I learned a few things. <BR> <BR> I think that food is my coping mechanism. It's what I know. I have been stressed lately. This contributes to my eating. I have not been making the healthiest choices. This has contributed to my weight gain. I have been somewhat depressed...I think this is a combination of stress at w... Sun, 24 May 2015 03:30:17 EST Change...Chipping Away at it! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> So much has changed over the last month or so. I got back from Thailand, was promoted at work, got nominated to a board at work, we lost a family friend and I sprained my toe! (Hopefully I didn't break it...will find out next Friday). <BR> <BR> My resolve to change was so strong on New Years day! I did a 6 mile hike, to come home to the news about our family friend. Life continued and then I was nominated, follo... Mon, 19 Jan 2015 02:17:18 EST Lessons from Thailand! I got back from Thailand last Sunday, three days later I was on a red-eye to the east coast for work. I live in California, so I was beat. However, I did get my promotion! Stoked about that! <BR> <BR> I am still on the east coast right now, it is 4:15am and I have been up since 1:28am. I haven't been able to sleep. I just don't know what time table to be on anymore. Anyways, Thailand had some amazing things to see, some wonderful culture to learn about and experience and some really in-my-f... Mon, 8 Dec 2014 04:35:21 EST One Step Forward, Two Steps Back -- Weight Loss Cha-Cha! I have struggled the last few months with going up two pounds, down two pounds. I know this is because I had three deaths in the family in two months, have had to move back home and am struggling with work. I understand that. <BR> <BR> What I don't understand is WHY I don't DO the things I know I need to do. I know what needs to happen to lose weight. I am super uncomfortable in my body right now. I have not been going to the gym as consistently as I used to. But, I am one of those few peop... Mon, 17 Nov 2014 02:49:17 EST Leave for Thailand in 27 Days!!! My weight has been all over the place. The doctor is doing tests and I find the results on Tuesday. However, I think she has hit on something about the sleeping thing. The week I got sleep, I was down 2 pounds. This past week, my sleep was terrible and I was back up two pounds. So...I need to focus on getting my shut eye this week. (Thx, doc). <BR> <BR> On another note...I leave for Thailand in 27 days! I am excited, but I am also a little nervous. I had hoped to lose a bit of weight before ... Sat, 25 Oct 2014 23:33:15 EST Have you ever got sucked back into diet mentality?! You can learn so much from observation. You can also learn a lot from observing your family members. I think I understand now why I have struggled with my weight all my life. My mom is a lifetime dieter, and also had the lap band done a few years ago. My dad is overweight and used to be able to lose it quickly, but now is not able to do that. <BR> <BR> I think as women, our mothers are a huge influence on our body self image, our self esteem a lot of cases, we learn our approach to... Wed, 15 Oct 2014 12:53:46 EST A-ha!!! I am feeling SOOOO much better! I feel like I am back in control today and that makes me so very happy. As some of you know, I was struggling. I have finally put my finger on what has happened. <BR> <BR> Have you ever been around negative people? <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Their energy is very draining and they can totally take a toll on people. What I didn't realize is that there are some energy drainers around me. And, as of these last ... Tue, 26 Aug 2014 17:58:43 EST Frustrated... I really wish that weight loss wasn't so difficult. I hope that a year from now, I look back at this post and say, "I really said that?!" <BR> <BR> I have tried over and over and WW works. The problem is that I am not doing it. I am not sticking to what I need to. Also, I have medical issues that are interferring and I wish that my body would just work like everyone else's. I wish my metabolish worked, my digestitve system too...but they are "special" shall we say? I am Celiac and I have Has... Tue, 19 Aug 2014 14:15:08 EST When Weight Becomes a Barrier.... I had the most difficult yet interesting thing happen to me today. I admit, I let it get the best of my attitude...initially. <BR> <BR> Last week, I interviewed for a position and it was only because I knew the person and had worked with them before. They knew of my proven success and we had a great phone conversation. I haven't seen him in about 3 years...and I am about 20 pounds heavier now. <BR> <BR> When I got to the interview, it seemed he just wanted to catch up as opposed to actual... Thu, 14 Aug 2014 00:01:27 EST You've had the Power all Along.... Universe...I am listening. I have heard you. I am trusting my instincts and intuition. I hear you. <BR> <BR> Weight is such a weird thing. I think as women, we think about it more than we should. On Saturday, I went to a Manifestation Vision Board class. As silly as it might sound, it was pretty life changing. We had to write down what we believe is holding us back. <BR> <BR> Of course, I said fear. But, we had to break that down. So, I wrote...fear of not being enough. Fear of being unwo... Wed, 2 Jul 2014 01:53:39 EST Fighting Getting Up in the Morning, like a Stubborn Little Kid! Over the last 2 weeks, I have told myself I need to get up in the morning and get some exercise in. I have been attempting to do it in the evening, but things just get in the way and my schedule is crazy. <BR> <BR> Anyways...If I did even just a nice 30-minute walk, it would help! But, I find myself wide awake when my alarm goes off, but I don't want to get out of bed. I am seriously a 7-year old kid who is fighting with a parent to "not go to school today." Well, instead of school, it's ge... Tue, 24 Jun 2014 02:40:41 EST Don't Give Up, Choose Your Hard This has been a very insightful week for me. I think I am starting to get it! After 27 years of dieting, from WW to JC...I have done it all, nearly! <BR> <BR> The one thing I haven't done was stay on plan. I get one part of a program right, the rest is kind of half way completed or 100% completed and very inconsistent. When it comes to weight loss, I am very inconsistent. Well, I guess I am consistent with my inconsistencies! Oi, Kristi! <BR> <BR> So here is something I am learning....I ha... Thu, 19 Jun 2014 12:01:02 EST 30 Days Left! New Goal, 5k and Countdown to the Wedding! These past two weeks have been rough, lots of family events happening. Lots of change. It's been tough. I wish I could blame it on Mercury Retrograde! <BR> <BR> I have made some good decisions and I have fallen back into some old habits. When I do the latter, it's best I post. It helps me to get back on track. One good thing I did was sign up for a 5k this Sunday. I am a bit nervous because I am out of shape since I have not been consistent for the last 2-3 weeks. But, I will prep for it th... Thu, 12 Jun 2014 11:32:25 EST My 36 Day Challenge (after being horrified by pics!) It has been a terrible week...My cousin passed away last week and things have been all over the place. I didn't get over to the store this week and we have been eating left overs from various family gatherings. I have still been tracking, but haven't gotten much sleep and haven't gone to the gym since Saturday. My body is feeling it... <BR> <BR> Well, in looking for pictures of my cousin for tomorrows service...I came across some photos of myself from 2008 and 2010. I was horrified when I fo... Thu, 5 Jun 2014 23:47:36 EST Birthdays really put a mirror in your face, don't they?! Today is my 36th birthday....I think birthday have a strange way of forcing you to reflect. How far have I come? Where do I want to go? Have I been doing what I need to do to be where I want to be? <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Regardless of the number of candles on the cake, birthdays always seem to bring me back to place that mirror right in front of me, to look at both the inside and the outside. I have made a LOT of changes in this p... Tue, 13 May 2014 10:07:51 EST You Can't Outrun a Fork! This week has taught me a lot! <BR> <BR> I haven't been as active as I normally am due to my work schedule. 12 hour days make things difficult, not including the horrendous hours of traffic I sat in this week (I live in LA). <BR> <BR> I did great yesterday, below 1550 calories. But today. Well, today I was at 2500. I am noticing if I eat something carb-y in the morning, I am ravenous the entire day. Today was no exception. I think I really need to start my day off with eggs or greek yogur... Fri, 9 May 2014 05:33:11 EST A Renewed Start! Isn't it crazy how pictures can just jump you back into action?! I meet up with some of my friends on Saturday and they wanted pictures. I am not fond of pictures, I am always cringing when I see myself. And, I had come from Zumba, my hair was a mess and I forgot to bring a regular bra, so had to wear my sports bra under my change of clothes. All around, I was not keen on taking this photo. <BR> <BR> Well....I was right. It stinks. I think I look terrible and this dress used to be a little ... Sat, 12 Apr 2014 00:28:02 EST Learning to trust the process and ditching my unproductive thoughts! Over the last week, we have had earthquakes pretty regularly here. I am very fearful of them and I have been on edge, not really eating and sleep has been terrible. I am extremely grateful that things have settled down a bit, for the time being. Not eating properly and no sleep has actually put me up in weight by about 5lbs! I am one pound away from my highest weight. Not exactly thrilled about that. <BR> <BR> But, it made me realize a few things. There is a lot in my life that I still want... Sun, 6 Apr 2014 00:54:11 EST I hear you, loud and clear, Universe! =) It's so crazy how things happen sometimes. <BR> <BR> I have had such a chaotic year last year, it's been a wild ride. My weight fluctuated up and down the same 2-3 pounds and I wasn't really getting anywhere. As of 2014, I have gotten down about 8 pounds and this week is the week I could potentially get past that mark, since I haven't been below 222 since July. <BR> <BR> I have been struggling, but I have been asking the Universe..."Please help me to help myself. I give you permission to ... Wed, 12 Feb 2014 02:06:48 EST Believing In YOU is the First Step! February goals! I have struggled. I exercise. I blog. I read about health. I watch programs about weight loss. I am studying to become a Group Exercise Instructor. But, I struggle. My biggest battle is what is at the end of my fork. Or so I thought. <BR> <BR> I think that my biggest struggle is believing in myself. Believing that I can do this. Believing that I am able, capable and worthy. I know I have touched on this before, but never really realized that this is what is at the root of it for me. <BR> ... Sun, 2 Feb 2014 19:28:49 EST Frustrated....I think I am Up Again. Ugh! I am beyond frustrated at this moment. This blog will be short because I am headed out to the gym to do a Virtual 5k, then I have my WW weigh in this morning. I am frustrated because I just got on my home scale and am up 5 lbs! In one week! And, I exercised Over 7.5 hours this week! <BR> <BR> Why I think I am up: <BR> 1) My food hasn't been great and I am floating between Simply Filling (no tracking) and Points (tracking). I think I slipped back into diet mode and am overeating. <BR> 2) Y... Sat, 25 Jan 2014 09:32:06 EST Fear is a Liar! I have struggled quite a bit over the last year(s). <BR> <BR> I have gone from super motivated to falling so far off the wagon that I can't even see the wagon anymore. Weight loss has been a life long struggle for me and something I will have to continue working on for the rest of my life. I get that now. <BR> <BR> I don't need to buy another program, DVD, membership, book, subscription, equipment, etc. I have SP, I have a WW membership, I have a Fitbit and I have a gym membership with 3 ... Tue, 21 Jan 2014 02:35:16 EST Lack of Routine = Up and Down Same 5 lbs I have been struggling lately. I moved back with family in August, had quit a job that was making me miserable and I was being treated unfairly due to my gender. I thought that these were good moves, personally, and they would make me happy. <BR> <BR> And they have. To a point. Moving into a household that is not yours takes some adjusting. Finding a new job has proven more difficult than I thought too. So, I don't have much spending money and I am in a city I am not accustomed too. There a... Thu, 16 Jan 2014 12:55:13 EST My New Years Reality Check...Picture! I have been struggling with my weight for years. I do good, then I have a set back. Since 2010, I have calculated that I have lost 93 pounds and gained 113. So, I am floating up and down the same 20 pounds or so. I don't want to do that anymore. <BR> <BR> On New Years Eve, I ate really well! I decided to do the SFT from WW this time and it is working out well. I walked 4 miles, took my niece and nephew to a movie (didn't eat anything there) and even survived the NYE dinner. My friend was so... Thu, 2 Jan 2014 16:07:43 EST Enduring a Set-Back: Stupid Comments I did great on Saturday, down -2.8. Went to Zumba, was feeling good. Made it to Sunday PiYo (Pilates Yoga) and then was supposed to go to breakfast afterwards with friends. I did fine at breakfast with my food...However... <BR> <BR> There was a friend of a friend that came along with us. I have met him before and normally he is fairly nice. He does have questionable comments about others from time to time, but I only see him once and again, so I don't really pay much attention. While at brea... Tue, 17 Dec 2013 01:26:46 EST Weight Loss is an EVERYDAY thing! I had a great loss on Saturday. Very excited! Worried that I might have put it back on already. Weekends are such a difficult time for me, not to mention it's just about that time of the month for me to so my chocolate cravings are going beserk! <BR> <BR> I have tracked everything though...I am out of balance with my Points Plus right now...I need to get 26 exercise points before Saturday...which is doable. But, I also have Thanksgiving within that time frame. Thanksgiving isn't as difficul... Tue, 26 Nov 2013 12:42:20 EST Day 47: Stopping the Weight Gain Train! On Saturday, I had my WI and I was down 2.4! I was elated! <BR> <BR> What did I do? My brain said, "I got this!" and I subconsciously gave myself permission to eat with a little "indulgence." Hello! That's not how you lost the 2.4 silly! Well, thank goodness I tracked my calories...Since Saturday, I have been averaging around 2200 calories. I had one day with a less than 1600 count. But, that isn't going to get my weight down. On top of that, I have not gone to the gym much this week. <BR>... Thu, 14 Nov 2013 11:33:55 EST Day 56: Redefining My Why... Last night I thought to myself...Why am I doing this? What do I want? Why am I still struggling at weight loss? What is really going on? <BR> <BR> I am doing this because I want to be healthy. I want to be a healthy person, at a healthy weight and help others find their health again too. I am struggling because I have allowed myself to maintain old eating patterns, when I am faced with emotions. I know what to do, but I don't do it. <BR> <BR> Why? <BR> <BR> Well...the answer sounds sill... Tue, 5 Nov 2013 23:46:03 EST Day 60: The Bounce Back...I'm Possible The last few days have been difficult. I've bounced right back into old habits and now its time to bounce back to my new ones. <BR> <BR> I did so well most of this week, to ruin it over the last two days disappoints me. I allowed myself to eat without thinking first, and I just popped back into old eating patterns. Tomorrow is a new day and I will make better choices. This week has been difficult emotionally, financially and I am feeling myself fall back into a slight depression. I can't le... Sat, 2 Nov 2013 01:57:51 EST Day 67, Count Down to New Years There are 67 days left of 2013. Yesterday was the first day of my challenge. I had a great breakfast, healthy snack and lunch. . . I did pretty well for going out to eat at a Mexican restaurant. I was still full at dinner... so dinner was simply a light yogurt. <BR> <BR> But...I did it! I didn't eat at night in front of the TV! I made it last night within my calories/PP, and I am very proud of myself! I turned down Cheetos, Tortilla Chips, Ice Cream AND Frozen Yogurt! Wowsers! Today was a b... Sun, 27 Oct 2013 00:59:41 EST Why is Night time so difficult?! The Spark Solution.... I have been I did very, very well! I had 1744 calories for the day and was done eating. Then...then, the evening munchies started. I didn't want to give in, but I did. I had Cheetos, Nutty Bar and two hot dogs wrapped in corn tortillas! Ugh! This put me way over. <BR> <BR> So why did I do it?! I am stressed. That is no excuse. I think it's because I am so used to that. Plus, I was in front of the TV. I think I need to start eating my meals at the table so that way of eati... Fri, 25 Oct 2013 00:10:24 EST Crossroads! Don't ya hate em?! And them love em?! I am looking for work. I am not sure which direction to take. I am registered with two temp agencies, have a possible part-time job that wouldn't start until December and bills are stacking up, but the money is dwindling. <BR> <BR> What to do?! This is a great and challenging time! I can do anything, which is amazing! I can do anything, which is also a bit daunting because I feel a little directionless. I think I want to do a couple of things, but right now...the bills keep coming and it is... Tue, 8 Oct 2013 12:53:07 EST The Cart Before the Horse! We have the lives we create...back to the drawing board! So...the strangest thing has happened...I think I really want to teach Zumba! <BR> <BR> I feel a little awkward though because I am 221 lbs! I have been dancing since I was 2.5 years old and I am now 35. So, I know I can do it. Also, I have taught dance to babies, elementary school kids and teenagers. I know I have the ability and know-how, but I am very insecure about my body. <BR> <BR> I did sign up for the Group Instructor Certification through ACE (American Council on Exercise)...but ... Tue, 1 Oct 2013 02:55:42 EST Making Changes to Live the Life I Always Imagined! I have been gone for a bit...some things have changed. In the last three weeks, I gave notice at my job without one to replace it, I moved back in with family and I spent a week in Costa Rica! <BR> <BR> I have been unhappy with my job for a is time to start something new. I know logically, it was not the smartest decision, but emotionally, spiritually, and taking in the happiness factor, it was the best decision for me. Doors are opening's amazing! <BR> <BR> Also, I re... Wed, 11 Sep 2013 11:17:50 EST Note to Self: Stop Beating Me Up and Then Bringing Me Candy! I have been struggling. Not with exercise, surprisingly...I have gone almost 6 weeks of being active 5 days a week! Go Gym Pact! (It's an App I highly recommend if you're serious about getting and staying active). <BR> <BR> Nope, not the exercise. It's the food. Any seasoned dieter will tell you that its always the food. One M&M at a time, a cupcake here, some chips there, well...I "deserved" this bowl of cereal, I did go to the gym! How many times have I told myself I deserved something? H... Fri, 2 Aug 2013 12:38:03 EST Learning to Run, Breathe and Keep Binges at Bay! I said back in May that I wanted to start running. I did want to, I always have. I never got around to it. There was always someone telling me that I couldn't/shouldn't do it. However, this time around, that person was me! I have let my mind get the best of me and this morning when I woke up and checked FB, two of my friends has already gotten runs in. And, one of them was on vacation in THAILAND! What the heck is my excuse? <BR> <BR> So, I got up, threw my hair in a pony tail and drove (I ... Tue, 23 Jul 2013 12:12:14 EST Binge and "Future Self" My biggest problem with food is that I allow my emotions to conduct my eating at times. I have been making a huge effort to not eat based on emotion, but on hunger. I actually dropped 5 lbs this week and made it 4 days without a binge...until last night. Now, last night was not my typical binge, it was small (in comparison). I got home around 9:30p and was feeling great, happy even! I put the food off, put the food off...I had brought food home (all of my rice, all of my beans and a taco) fro... Fri, 12 Jul 2013 12:30:14 EST Fat, Anger, Acceptance and Change...Why am I still fat after 26 years? I have been thinking a lot lately about what is propelling my weight. Recently, I have gone up and am now 6 pounds away from my highest weight. Needless to say, it is discouraging. But, rather than throw in the towel, I have been thinking about WHY. Why am I heavy? Why am I eating? Why has it been 26 years and I am still struggling? What is actually going on here? <BR> <BR> I was thinking about my past. I have said things I didn't mean, have been very defensive and always putting myself dow... Sun, 7 Jul 2013 15:22:07 EST Intuition (Spidey Senses), the Rational Mind and Weight Loss - Where are we going wrong?! I just finished reading a really good book that deals with the causes of being overweight, and not necessarily food. It was called "You are WHY you eat." If you are struggling, I would highly recommend this book. <BR> <BR> One thing I really picked up throughout the book is that often, those of us who are overweight (or obese like me), tend to distrust our intuition, or as the book calls it, our Spidey Senses. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Whe... Mon, 17 Jun 2013 16:40:35 EST Brain Wiring...Does the old (fat) wiring every really go away??? My leader made a really good connection this week...about brain wiring. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> We have this old wiring that has patterns that helped us get to the weight we are at. This wiring is our old patterns, the unhealthy patterns that may cause us to overeat, to say we will start tomorrow, to throw in the towel because we already screwed up. <BR> <BR> Then, we have this other wiring. This new wiring that we are trying to learn.... Tue, 11 Jun 2013 12:59:43 EST Interesting Week in Vegas for Work...Eating Difficult! I have spent the last week in Vegas for work. I am super tired, just drove home and got here about 8pm. I need to put myself to bed shortly. <BR> <BR> Well...lastSunday, I went and got my food to eat clean all week and forgot I had to go to Vegas! Argh! Well, I packed a cooler with chicken, veggies and fruit before I left for Vegas. I have to say, overall I thought I did pretty well. Unofficially, my scale showed 223.5 before I left. Tomorrow I have my official WW weigh in so you will know ... Sun, 9 Jun 2013 01:39:28 EST Terrible Day Yesterday...Considering Moving to Clean-Eating (Feedback pls!) I was almost back on track for 3 days in a row...and yesterday just was terrible! I had a very bad binge day, of which I have not binged like that in about a year. I am frustrated with my job, it's not what I want to be doing, but I have bills and student loans to re-pay. My boss is a micromanger and has litterally told me that "micromanaging works." He has never worked for any one else in his life and doesn't understand the problems that mm causes. Anyhow, it was a rough day and after spendi... Tue, 21 May 2013 12:13:31 EST 35 + 2 Days! Still struggling with weight and men, ugh! I turned 35 on Monday. I was a little worried about it...I never had an issue with 20 or 30, but the years with a "5" in it always seem to wig me out. 25 was tough, now looking back on it...I kinda feel like what was I thinking?! <BR> <BR> the same time...25 was hard for the same reasons that 35 was hard this year. I am not where I thought I would be in life. Yes, I did let go of the "planning" ideals when I hit 30 and just let things happen. But the two things that were frustratin... Wed, 15 May 2013 11:35:33 EST