SHELEEN1's SparkPeople Blog SHELEEN1's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community I Am... I am overweight, fat, wobbly, rotund, saggy, wrinkly, overtly rubenesque, curvy, and may have more rolls than the local bakery... but one thing I am NOT any more, is obese. <BR> According to my BMI, I am now just one pound under the weight I need to categorise myself as obese - so now I am just overweight... and here's hoping within the next 6 months or so, I will be able to get into the 'normal' range :) Tue, 3 May 2016 10:31:12 EST Weigh-In... I am having a 'low' day... feeling very 'bleugh'. <BR> My weigh-in was a good one - though I have no idea how or why - once again I have been quite indiscriminate about my eating habits last week - maybe if I'd had a gain it would jolt me into healthier choices. Still, I should be ecstatic over losing a whopping 5lbs... so why I have got 'the blahs'? <BR> Mon, 2 May 2016 08:03:37 EST 48 Hours... In the past 48 hours, we have had almost every weather known... <BR> Brilliant sunshine, snow, rain, thunder, sleet, hail, frost, fog, mist... <BR> How very English lol <BR> <BR> I have still walked the dog every day - the poor wee thing has been frozen, soaked, heated up... and still he wags his tail when the collar and lead come out :) <BR> <BR> Today was a special treat day for me - unexpectedly. My darling husband has painted the kitchen, and hung a gorgeous chandelier in the bedroom. T... Wed, 27 Apr 2016 15:41:51 EST Weigh-In... I lost 3 pounds last week... <BR> The scale actually read a 4 pound weight loss, but it was early in the morning, and I was dehydrated... so I discounted one pound. <BR> I have enjoyed a week of picking, eating almost whatever I wanted and not doing much exercise - so I think I can say that I have been very lucky to have shown a loss at all. <BR> I do want to try harder... but that kind of fell apart when my daughter bought a pizza whilst she was visiting today... Still, I only had one slice... Mon, 25 Apr 2016 17:14:44 EST I'm All Behind... ... and I mean, I'm all behind in getting things done today - not that my backside has grown out of proportion lol. <BR> I have been out visiting my dearest friend - and snacking a lot too... and haven't managed to walk the dog, prepare dinner for tomorrow or tidy the house. <BR> Looks like it will be a long night for me. <BR> I can't sleep if the kitchen is a mess - it's like the washing up and cleaning are calling to me as I lie in bed - and so it just has to be done! <BR> Best walk the do... Sun, 24 Apr 2016 14:18:48 EST A Wet & Grey Day... Poor Barkley had a walk in the rain today - the same usual distance took us twice as long. I kept telling him it was for his benefit and not mine - but we both knew that wasn't quite the whole truth :) <BR> I actually quite like the rain - it's just the soggy feet as I walk through the park that I find uncomfortable. The grass had not long been cut, so the wet grass cuttings stuck to my shoes and were flipped up onto my legs... which could have been worse - at least it wasn't too muddy as wel... Fri, 22 Apr 2016 13:10:00 EST Little Pickers... I've said it before and I'll say it again - <BR> "Little pickers have big knickers!" <BR> <BR> I picked and picked all day Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday... and managed to gain 2 pounds. Ah, well - can't put back the clock. I have been picking today too - but not as much. <BR> I actually feel pretty good. Today I tried on one of my goal dresses to see how far I needed to go to fit into it... and I'm still wearing it now because it fits! <BR> <BR> Clothing is a pain... <BR> Why can't all the... Thu, 21 Apr 2016 11:36:24 EST Disturbed Sleep... The past few days, I have really pushed myself - from cleaning and clearing, to walking those extra few paces. I cook and clean, take trips to the shops, and unnecessary journeys up and down the stairs... <BR> It all sounds incredibly good - but I can't seem to wind down at the end of the day! <BR> My sleep pattern is now so bad, I'm considering a visit to see the doctor. My tinnitus is also playing up rather badly, and this doesn't help toward a restful night either. <BR> I've tried all the... Mon, 18 Apr 2016 20:50:50 EST A Letter To My Body... Dear Body, <BR> We've been through a lot, you and I - had so many ups and downs, that's it's hard to know how to begin writing this letter to you. <BR> I should start with an apology... <BR> I'm sorry I have put you through so much. You have been amazing - through pregnancy and childbirth, fighting illness and heartbreak... and in return, I mistreated you. <BR> Let me start from the very beginning... <BR> I resented you when I was a child - you were fat and had 'cutsie' little nicknames from ... Sun, 17 Apr 2016 00:23:49 EST BMI A bitter-sweet post today, concerning the dreaded BMI calculator. <BR> Three months ago, my BMI was over 40 - I hate to think what it was before then! I have been 'clinically morbidly obese' a couple of times before - and with a BMI over 40, was classed as 'morbidly obese'. <BR> Today, I had my BMI measured again, and was so happy to see that it had reduced substantially... 32.7. That's the sweet bit... the bitter part is that I am still obese. I have between 15-17 pounds more to lose before... Sat, 16 Apr 2016 23:51:21 EST Work = Exercise = Pounds Lost (I Hope) The past two days, I worked over 14 hours in changing and sorting rooms in my home... The main objective was for me to get my dining room back (it's been a craft-room for over a year), but that sort of hasn't worked out yet lol <BR> I'm getting rid of a lot of items - clutter, things I haven't room for, charity shop items to give away - and all of these items are currently stacked up against one wall of the dining room - but at least it's the only room in the house that needs to be sorted - o... Fri, 15 Apr 2016 21:40:32 EST My Achy Breaky... Body... lol For well over a year now, my craft room has been taking over my old dining room... and what used to be the craft room is a spare bedroom. This is now changing... <BR> I have spent all day trying to sort out the crafting items, and getting the craft room back upstairs to the spare room. The spare bed is folded up under my own bed (poking out - it really doesn't fit! lol) and I ache from all the carrying and lifting I have had to do up and down the stairs (eight drawer units, each with four dra... Thu, 14 Apr 2016 13:03:53 EST Jealousy... Late last night, I found myself chatting to an old friend who was having a really hard time. It ended up with me going to meet her at 3.30am to bring her back to mine for a coffee and a chat. Many years ago, this friend and I were 'The Fat Ladies' together - I lost a lot of weight, and she remained much the same. A few years ago, she managed to lose all her weight, and I was so proud of her. Before last night, I hadn't seen her for a couple of years... and was shocked by how thin she had beco... Wed, 13 Apr 2016 19:40:25 EST Weigh-In... I lost 5lbs last week - quite surprising, again! <BR> I celebrated with a trip to the local town centre to buy lots of ingredients for risotto, and to meet up with two of my children. Then I came home and had a bit of a chow-down :( <BR> Still, I HAVE had a bit more exercise today, so it'll be fine I expect :) <BR> I'm now at the stage where I find it hardest - that 185lb point where my body likes to stay... but I'm ready!!! :) Mon, 11 Apr 2016 14:33:40 EST Getting Into A Rythm I think I'm finally getting used to this lifestyle change malarky :) <BR> I did get tempted this evening by my own hand-made veggie pizza, and had half a slice - regretfully, I might add, because the small amount of cheese has already started giving me 'tummy grumbles'. BUT... although I wanted to sit and eat about four slices, I knew I couldn't and simply made myself a coffee, had a drink of fizzy water too... and enjoyed others eating my creations and liking them a lot :) <BR> I've managed ... Sun, 10 Apr 2016 15:26:00 EST Admission... I have an admission... <BR> My name is Sheleen, and I am a feeder. <BR> It's absolutely true - I think it's part of my Jewish heritage lol <BR> People visit, I feed them. <BR> Someone cries, I feed them. <BR> People laugh, I feed them. <BR> Someone is unwell, I feed them. <BR> Watching a film? Let's have some food too. <BR> Listening to music? Nearly a party then... food time! <BR> People are happy, I feed them. <BR> People are sad, I feed them. <BR> Out shopping...? It's the only time I won'... Sat, 9 Apr 2016 13:12:30 EST Busy Busy Busy...! Just had my hair done, did some shopping, cooking three different dinners right now... THEN I am picking up my mum and niece and we're going to the hospital to see the new twins. After I get home, I'll still have to take the dog for a walk and tidy up... I'll be sweating off pounds at this rate! lol Thu, 7 Apr 2016 12:10:06 EST Twins !!! :) My daughter had her twin girls this morning - mum and babies doing very well, though mum is very, very tired :) <BR> I'm pretty exhausted myself, staying awake all hours waiting for news... but so happy now the wee girls are born and everything is okay. <BR> Wed, 6 Apr 2016 10:22:04 EST Replacements, Alternatives, & Substitutions :) I was looking through some ideas of how to replace unhealthy or high-fat and high-sugar foods with something more healthy, and not much appealed to me really - so I thought I'd list a few of my 'alternatives'... <BR> <BR> Cheesecake... Oh, how cheesecake can be missed - but here's my alternative: <BR> Get some low-fat/low-sugar digestive biscuits, and spread one with a teaspoon or so of Philadelphia Extra Light. Top with sliced fresh fruit - a strawberry or a bit of banana... mini cheesecake... Tue, 5 Apr 2016 10:43:35 EST All On Tenterhooks! My daughter has been on the labour ward for almost four hours now... and she is sat up in bed calmly knitting lol. No signs of the twins wanting to see the world outside of mummy's belly yet :) <BR> I so want to get out, walk the dog... do something! But with huge blisters and no plasters, I'm stuck for now... though I did do 10 minutes jogging on the trampoline - I can't believe that uses up less than 50 calories! I am so shattered from those ten minutes - but I guess it's what exercises you... Tue, 5 Apr 2016 10:25:44 EST Weigh-In... I actually forgot to weigh myself this morning - such a turnaround from my scale-obsessed self a few weeks ago lol. <BR> I expected to have maintained my weight, or maybe have gained 1 or 2 pounds... but I am so shocked that I lost FIVE pounds last week! <BR> Not that I am allowing a five pound weight loss to excuse my pizza-binge on Saturday - I'm hoping I can stave off that craving for at least another month... I actually think that the walking every day - although just under a mile only - ... Mon, 4 Apr 2016 08:57:37 EST Blisters! "An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure" my Nan used to tell me, and how I wished I had remembered those words sooner. Yesterday I wore my new boots for our family trek in the New Forest, and although I wore good thick socks too, I knew before I even started off walking that I would get blisters - and I have. My Nan's voice was in my head half way round the walk with those wise words ringing in my ears... "Too late!" I thought to myself. Today my heels are red raw and painful, ... Mon, 4 Apr 2016 08:29:33 EST As Predicted.... Exactly as I said I would yesterday, today I am feeling up-beat, positive and am looking forward lol. <BR> I knew I would - and I think a walk in the New Forest helped a lot too - and a little gardening. It's just started to thunder here, and I love that deep rumbling sound (when it's not my belly lol). The rain is gently falling on the windows, the dog is tired from his walk and is curled up by the fireplace, and the three twenty-something's I have in the house are chatting and laughing. It'... Sun, 3 Apr 2016 13:33:11 EST Oh, Dear! I gave in... I phoned up Petrony's Pizza and drove there to collect a medium deep pan cheese and pizza and a pack of twister sticks - it was soooo good. BUT then the inevitable happened - half of it rushed to go down and the other half raced to come up again. It was not a pleasant sight. In fact, it was not a pleasant feeling at all! Driving there to collect my meal, I already had pangs of doubt... this was gluten and lactose - my body just doesn't like those things! This next bit may be a bi... Sat, 2 Apr 2016 13:39:35 EST Bored!!! I am bored... <BR> I have walked the dog, filled the freezer (again) with loads of home-made meals, done any housework that needs to be done desperately, and am now sat here with my i-pod blaring out (neighbours are just getting what they give out lol). <BR> So... what now? I could exercise some more - but to be honest, my pain threshold is very low right now and my back pain won't allow me to do that. I guess there's always another sort of the wardrobe...? A trip into the attic to find all t... Sat, 2 Apr 2016 09:53:37 EST Dog Is Okay :) Barkley McScruffles had his trip to see the vet today - and he's okay, thank goodness :) <BR> Apparently, he suffers from colic, poor wee boy - but it's not serious. I'll just have to gently rub his belly and keep him calm when he gets a bit off colour with a gurgly belly. <BR> I was a bit worried, I'll admit - but I seem to have coped with the usual hazards of being stressed or worried. I haven't over-eaten (though I have been 'picking' a lot today), and kept myself busy with cooking, and wa... Fri, 1 Apr 2016 15:53:30 EST Mooli! I have finally discovered a place where I can buy fresh mooli (think it's also known as daikon or Asian radish...?). I was on (yet another) shopping trip with my mum and niece, and as we went to The Marlands shopping centre in Southampton (to stop at Fredericks Chocolate Shop - such a test of willpower for me!) I took a quick look at the Fruit'n'Veg stall near the entrance... There it was - Mooli! Two large for just £1 - though I was disappointed that the leaves had been cut off, as I love th... Thu, 31 Mar 2016 19:54:23 EST A HUGE Thank you :) I am always so heartened by the comments left on blog entries I have made. The blog post previous to this one is one in point - so many fantastic suggestions, words of encouragement - and of course, always the motivational words. Please read these words, and take them as a deep and personal thank you to all of you :) Thu, 31 Mar 2016 19:36:25 EST Just A Dream...? Every night, I feel the urge to exercise, and promise myself (as I drift off to sleep) that as well as walking the dog every day, I will bounce for half an hour on my mini trampoline... I dream about the satisfaction I would get from becoming fitter, the rush I would get after exercising... <BR> And then I wake up in the morning full of aches and pains, and try my damndest to get up and get ready to take the dog out. Dreams of mini-trampoline jogging fade away... and I never get around to sta... Wed, 30 Mar 2016 08:20:23 EST Poor Little Doggy... Hubby and I went for a walk along the shoreline today... stony and hard going, we walked approximately 1.75 miles. Our poor little Yorkshire Terrier, Barkley McScruffles, was so worn out by the end, he slept on the back seat of the car and couldn't even muster enough energy to get out of the car when we got home. <BR> Now it's time for a quick shopping trip to get my dinner for tonight - baked courgettes with red onion and sweet tomatoes, with a citrus dressing... gonna be gorgeous! Tue, 29 Mar 2016 10:04:33 EST Weigh-In Well, a 3lb weight loss this week - more than I expected, to be honest. I have 'upped' my calorie intake, but it's been one helluva busy week :) so I guess that's evened out the 'calories vs exercise' ... <BR> I actually wore a pair of jeans outside on Friday - and shocked my daughter who said I looked amazing :) I still have to regain the confidence I used to have - but I'm hoping that will come with success. <BR> I have noticed a strange change in my viewing habits on the television... the... Mon, 28 Mar 2016 08:44:44 EST Little Pickers... I have been 'picking'... I made some gorgeous veggie fajita mix for my family, and couldn't help myself from eating as I was making the food. I kept on with that little mantra: <BR> "Little pickers wear big knickers"... <BR> ... BUT it didn't help. I figured that I have had a busy enough week to have a little pick lol. It's actually made me feel a bit better - I'm not beating myself up for a few mouthfuls of fajita filling - it's not often, and the only down side was that I became a little il... Sun, 27 Mar 2016 07:17:13 EST Tired! What a few days I have had! Of course there was the scan on Tuesday - lots of extra walking :) then I had a Wednesday shopping day, Thursday I went to see my pregnant daughter again for her birthday... and then today I have been shopping for a few hours with daughters and grandchildren. I have still managed to walk the dog every day - I figured out I am walking nearly 0.9 miles with the dog every day. I thought Barkley would 'cry off' on Thursdays walk as it was raining - but he just loved ... Fri, 25 Mar 2016 12:54:22 EST What The Heck Am I Doing??? I got up early this morning, and sat and ate way too much without even thinking! It was like I had gone back to my old habits without stopping - on old-time auto-pilot... the problem is, I don't know why. <BR> I had a very busy day yesterday - and it was very good - I went with my (VERY) pregnant daughter to her 36 week scan and got to see my grand-daughters, two beautiful little twins that are due on April 5th. I walked the dog, I went shopping and found a cute little top to go with a gorge... Wed, 23 Mar 2016 06:44:18 EST Doctor Is Happy With Me :) My weight-loss according to the doctor was 2lb this week - but that's okay :) The absolute best news is that my blood pressure is almost normal now. Just one month ago, my blood pressure was 185/110 (I think...) , which was a massive shock, as I have always had a low blood pressure previously. Today showed 152/74, which is just such an improvement, that I had my B.P done twice to make sure it was right :) My diabetes is so under control, I am down to 1 tablet a day... soon to be NONE at all ... Mon, 21 Mar 2016 12:30:35 EST Back On Track I forgot to eat today! I have just been so busy making dolls house furniture, that eating completely slipped my mind. Luckily, I have managed to slip in a hearty (HUGE) salad and some cracker snacks a couple of hours before bed-time. <BR> When getting slimmer and healthier before, I have always stuck to the idea of "eat only when you're hungry"... but that may not work this time round, if I just don't feel hungry! Maybe this lack of appetite comes hand-in-hand with getting older? I have no i... Sun, 20 Mar 2016 15:51:52 EST Naughty! But I Learned... Okay, so I had a bad couple of days - over-eating got the better of me and I realised that I was putting myself into a vicious circle: eating unsuitable foods and then hating myself for doing that, making me want to indulge in more eating the wrong kind of food to try and make myself feel better, and ending up hating myself more! But here's the thing... it took me two days to realise what I was doing. Self-sabotage! Today I have stopped, took note, and made a conscious decision to behave myse... Sat, 19 Mar 2016 12:02:59 EST And Then Life Gives Me A Curve-Ball... Today I awoke with determination ... I WILL fit into a pair of jeans. I haven't worn any for about 6 years, and had recently ordered some new ones from the club-book. They arrived this morning, 2 pairs size 16 (UK) and one pair size 12. I managed to fit into the size 16 jeans - and was really quite happy with myself. Finally, a milestone reached and I was feeling successful and even a little proud of myself. <BR> And then I logged into FaceBook... <BR> I made a shocking discovery. A dear frie... Wed, 16 Mar 2016 12:32:57 EST Hello Happy :) My total weight loss for last week...? <BR> 2 pounds. <BR> Am I disappointed? disheartened? <BR> NOPE! <BR> I knew the scales would be less kind to me at my weigh-in on Monday - but I see no reason to despair ... because it's not what the scales tell me that I need to take note of - it's how I'm feeling. <BR> I may be just 2 pounds lighter - but I feel 10 pounds has drifted off of me. I don't mind that my new skirts are still too small - they can wait a little while longer until I adjust to ... Tue, 15 Mar 2016 10:13:01 EST Tired But Happy :) Today I am absolutely dog-tired. My back aches and I feel a fibro-flare-up may be on the horizon. Serves me right for pushing myself to all the wrong limits over the previous couple of days. <BR> BUT... <BR> I have unpacked and hung up my new clothes and want to clear out my wardrobe! I'd love to throw all my existing clothing away - but then I'd have nothing to wear except a nightgown lol. I don't regret my over-eating or my shopping day - I have no desire to cram my face full of bread and c... Sun, 13 Mar 2016 15:16:24 EST Ouch! Had a great day shopping today - bought so many clothes that I want to fit into - I am hoping that in 3-4 months time I will have dropped at least two dress sizes. I even managed to find a Wallis coat in a UK 14 that fits beautifully right now - but is easily altered for when I get a bit smaller. It was an absolute bargain in a charity shop for £11.99 - it's like new! <BR> However, the walking has really hurt me - my feet are aching so much! Also, my stomach and back are still trying to recov... Sat, 12 Mar 2016 14:00:53 EST Should've known... I just had a 'no diet day'. After being on a strict diet, I understand that every few weeks I will just have a 'stuff the diet' day just so as I can keep on track in the long run. However, I really shouldn't have eaten quite as much - nor the type of foods, I did eat. <BR> After a salad lunch with a packet of 'snack-a-jacks' for snacks, I had Philadelphia Lightest on toast, half a cheese sandwich, four HobNob biscuits, quite a few potato wedges with onion and rosemary... and then topped it al... Fri, 11 Mar 2016 14:18:17 EST Obsessive? I'm getting obsessive... I just can't help myself. I am now weighing myself every day - something I know is bad, but I can't seem to help myself! Whilst the scales show a loss, I am so very happy - but the instant they don't change, or show a little increase, I am thrown into a state of "Why am I trying so hard to achieve nothing?". <BR> I'm thinking maybe I should give the sales to my daughter to hide away from me, only to produce them every Monday morning, or Sunday evening for me to weigh ... Wed, 9 Mar 2016 06:25:59 EST Weigh-In I now I do this a bit cock-eyed (as my dad would say lol), but when I started my diet on a Monday, I was so impatient that I did my first weigh-in on the Friday. So... this week, I appear to have lost 9lbs. I am pretty sure that this high number is more to do with my being ill earlier in the week than my own efforts. Still, I am VERY happy that I am losing and not gaining any weight. I'm sure by the end of the day, with all the munching I shall do (always got to have a LARGE bag of tomatoes i... Fri, 26 Feb 2016 07:21:36 EST 1am It's 1 o'clock in the morning, and although I'm tired, I can't sleep! I've made some miniature food (from clay - not the edible sort lol), updated my facebook, read a few articles, caught up on some local news, ate a bowl of salad, and drank about 4 pints of water! <BR> So what now? I feel as though my tummy bug is getting a little better - I'm eating again, at least :) Maybe I should go back to bed and try to sleep? <BR> I think it's just going to be 'one of those nights'... Netflix, you're... Tue, 23 Feb 2016 20:04:20 EST Bleugh! I am slowed down by a tummy bug :( <BR> It started yesterday, and has made my fibromyalgia flare up terribly - feeling like I am bruised all over and very tender. <BR> I couldn't even eat yesterday - and that's annoyed me because I feel that I should try to eat every day to keep my metabolism up. Not eating anything is just silly and unhealthy. <BR> Today I am going to try. I've managed to eat apple this morning and am hoping to prepare a tasty dinner a bit later on - if I can walk to the kit... Tue, 23 Feb 2016 06:02:12 EST 1 week down :) It has now been 1 week since I decided (again) to change my life. Today is the first morning that I have woken up and not felt that gnawing hunger pang for toast and butter :) <BR> Yesterday was my birthday, and I received some amazing presents - including a gift basket containing fresh fruit and veg - including olives and balsamic vinegar - oh my! can't wait to get stuck into those :) <BR> I did really well - resisting the scrummy gravy and yorkshire puddings with redcurrant jelly, avoiding... Mon, 22 Feb 2016 09:06:38 EST Saturday! Another day... and another little blog entry. Not much to say today - I'm just off out to collect a friend for a weekend visit. <BR> Just remembered - it's my birthday tomorrow. Think I'll just that day slip by and pretend I'm not another year older lol. <BR> Sat, 20 Feb 2016 05:41:59 EST Thank You I nearly cried this morning... <BR> Thank you to all who took the time to write a message on last nights post. I was quite overwhelmed - and then I remembered ... this is what Spark People is all about. I'd forgotten the help and encouragement I had received from everyone before, and how this had always helped with my determination to get well, get fit, get back to who I want to be. <BR> When I awoke this morning, my head was full of images of chocolate brownies (my daughter made a batch yes... Fri, 19 Feb 2016 08:12:07 EST Ding, Ding! Round 3 Well, here I am back again... I didn't do well after my last entry - oh, so long ago now. 2014 was a hellish year and although I know that shouldn't be an excuse, it is the one I am using. You see, my dad died that year... <BR> I have spent my time since then tumbling downwards. I was diagnosed with extreme grief and it felt as though my world had stopped turning. There was a gaping hole in my life...and I tried to fill it with food. <BR> Four days ago, that stopped. <BR> I haven't weighed... Thu, 18 Feb 2016 19:34:32 EST