SHAWNGIGI's SparkPeople Blog SHAWNGIGI's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community I got a fitbit! It's cute and doesn't pinch my chubby arms like the armband did. <BR> <BR> I have big dreams for my fit self still. I haven't given up. I'm frolicking with elementary aged kids this summer, so I think that my fitness levels have greatly increased. <BR> <BR> I'll be back. I'm back on board. <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> Sat, 4 Jul 2015 09:57:03 EST . The Flower in My Cap . I haven't weighed myself of over six months, but for no noble reason. My scale has been packed in a box and I simply haven't had the time to pull it out and do the deed. <BR> <BR> I'm coming out of a period of time that my family is referring to as "The War". It was a nightmare during which we held our children close and said all we could to help without actually promising we'd all be fine, because we couldn't muster enough faith to feel it ourselves. Everything was already, very profoundly... Sun, 25 Jan 2015 09:58:10 EST Where Have the Last Three Months Gone? Seriously?! I look at my Start Page every day, but I'm shocked that I haven't really BEEN here for three months! It should be no surprise that I'm still waking up every morning, wondering what it will take for me to put myself first every day. I've spent so much time wanting that the motivation feelings have become too familiar and less burning. I'm searching for that "spark". But I'm also aware of the fact that I need to do what's good, even if I'm not feeling it. So, here I am today, determined to do t... Thu, 12 Jun 2014 08:56:20 EST Body Media Troubles (help?) I have the LINK armband. I've been (mostly) wearing it since last Summer. There have been a couple of glitches but, since spending all of this time with it, I pretty much understand how it works and what it wants from me. <BR> <BR> But now, all of the sudden, it isn't recording my activity. It records my sleep and my steps. It even shows peaks (on my iPhone display) when I have been active, but they are blue instead of the regular yellow or orange. I would love it if someone reading has an a... Mon, 17 Mar 2014 08:33:29 EST It's Been Decided, Then. This, again, is for me. <BR> <BR> I say this because I'm amazing at starting things, but I've been quite the disaster at any follow-through. I'd have given up on myself by now, but this is the only me I have and I'm just stubborn enough to truly believe that failure is not an option. <BR> <BR> I remembered a talk I heard once about truly prioritizing your life, about sorting your true passions from the distractions around you. I listen to these things because I am always swirling among so ... Fri, 7 Mar 2014 09:06:28 EST Yesterday I found a quote from a book that I read a couple of years ago. The book, itself wrecked me. But these words, read yesterday in a moment of... deep realizations, touched me where I am at this moment in my story. <BR> <BR> <BR> "Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living." <BR> <BR> ~ Jonathan Safran Foer <BR> <BR> Not to be depressing, just trying to hold on to these moments of "revelation". I may need to revisit this later when I find mys... Wed, 19 Feb 2014 08:51:11 EST There You Are It's the up and down of my flickering resolve that confuses me the most. <BR> <BR> I'm saying, as a simple matter of fact and without the least bit of drama, that I feel that I'm somewhat missing from myself. It's the only thing I can come up with to describe how, day in and day out, I am still flopping around on the shore when I have every intention to jump in and SWIM! The journey, the hard work, the victories and the tears are all still ahead of me. I wake up every morning like the movie ... Sat, 15 Feb 2014 08:55:48 EST The Best Surprise This girl turned 46 yesterday. I don't know, I seriously cannot wrap my head around the number. I just feel as though I'm in my 30s. My husband greeted 50 two weeks ago, and neither of us can match the reality to what it feels like to be us. In any case, here we are. <BR> <BR> Our plans were to lay low and watch Bruno Mars with some takeout. Nobody in the house cares at all for pro football, but, you know, pop culture. I might have made a celebratory walk around the loop. Nothing big. But, m... Mon, 3 Feb 2014 08:37:26 EST It's a Real Live Start I don't know why I've been so blocked when it comes to exercise. My history remembers that I really love it when I do. I've INTENDED to start for several months now, but I am a master at talking myself out of things I don't want to do. <BR> <BR> I logged my first mile and a half yesterday. I did NOT die. In fact, I enjoyed it very much. My son and I greeted the sunrise and had a good talk. I took my camera and took some shots of the frozen puddles and more of my favorite freckled face. As fa... Sat, 1 Feb 2014 09:55:13 EST 144 Days to Make a Noticeable Start My husband and I became sick with a choking, hacking chest cough. It's weird, because neither of us have felt sick at all, other than the exploding headache that happens with each coughing episode. It's more annoying than anything. I had the hardest time hearing Downton Abbey over all of our hacking. The children have taken to rolling their eyes. We're all just tired of it. <BR> <BR> So, I haven't really walked anywhere yet. But I will. <BR> <BR> I've had giant fantasies about what I would ... Tue, 14 Jan 2014 09:18:20 EST Where Do I Want to Go? Where DON'T I want to go? I started tracking miles a couple of days ago. For all my time here, I didn't really realize that I could do that and get miles trophies from Sparkpeople. I love trophies. This seems like a rockstar tophy. I haven't gone anywhere yet, but I will. <BR> <BR> I've been distracted by so many chores and the new kid drama that two people in school can bring. I have one in Middle School and one is a Senior in High School, so I'm sure you can imagine. I guess I need to add that my husband in his la... Wed, 8 Jan 2014 08:54:54 EST I'm Moving In and Changing Things I'm not sure why I started this "word of focus" thing. I tend to not be much of a joiner. But last year I breathed the word "Present" every day. I forget seventy-two things every single day but, somehow, throughout the year, I remembered that. Having this word has been impactful, really, and there were more than a handful of times where the reminder to pull myself out of my own head to be more "in the moment" with those around me truly changed my experience. <BR> <BR> With a new year looming... Thu, 2 Jan 2014 10:44:31 EST Hey There, Baby New Year! I haven't weighed since this weekend, but I DO know that I lost 3 lbs. between the beginning of December and Christmas day. It's not much for some, but significant for me. I plan to weigh in a day or two, once I've flushed a bit of pistachio sodium from my system. <BR> <BR> I'm finally committing to my daily walks again and I just have so much hope for what I will accomplish in this new year. I know I need to track again, but this is not my favorite. I forget so often and then I abandon the ... Wed, 1 Jan 2014 09:38:52 EST Mindful. Chuckle Wryly or Cry. Oh Boy! In 2006 (or so) I stepped on a scale at my first ever Weight Watchers meeting. <BR> <BR> I have always had an issue with my weight, but I had such a hard time facing it. I really hoped that I had been pretty good at hiding it. That's how disconnected I was. The idea of weighing in front of somebody (turned out, I KNEW her!) was a place I couldn't imagine going, but I had enough hope in the program that I threw it all "out there". The number was grim. It was over the 3 (unimaginable to me) an... Sun, 15 Dec 2013 10:40:34 EST Time For Real Change Once again, it has happened too many times to count, I awoke in the wee morning hours feeling the literal and figurative burden of the me I have become. I'm only writing here now because I need to organize my head. I think that, once I begin making some real progress, somebody might find hope in these words of frustration. <BR> <BR> My deadlines are past me and I'm realizing, once again, that I will put any event or obligation before my own health. I think of the things I value most and the ... Sat, 26 Oct 2013 10:50:45 EST You'll Never Be Perfect... I just have time to share this: <BR> <BR> I'm a photographer and I love to draw from other photographers who inspire me. <BR> <BR> My Senior Season is just about wrapped up- the shooting and editing, anyway, and I hope to be back here next week. <BR> <BR> I had just a small moment after hitting send on the last submission to the yearbook and I decided to read an article (I know, right?) from one of my favorite portrait photographers. It served to show me that we assume that people are accu... Fri, 18 Oct 2013 15:58:34 EST Cycles (heads up- a wordy, retrospective, begin again blog) One morning I woke up and realized I was way too fat. <BR> <BR> That day was 25 years ago. Since then, I have been collecting diet and fitness information in my head the way the modern woman collects boards on Pinterest. I'm noticing lately, since I've been at this for so long, that there are definable cycles to my madness. It occurs to me today that, for all my information hoarding (hoarding because I have yet to effectively put it into practice) and all of my equipment, DVD, and victory cl... Sat, 28 Sep 2013 09:44:15 EST This is why I needed a Body Media thingie... I'm saddened to realize (but happy at the same time, since truth is power) that the morning walks that I take around our neighborhood loop are registering as "moderate activity" instead of "vigorous activity". It feels pretty vigorous to me. <BR> <BR> I'm now aware of just how hard I'm going to have to work to accomplish the new, fit me. My lifestyle was never before so sedentary. I had gained plenty of weight over the years, but had always been very active. I led music at church, kept up w... Sun, 25 Aug 2013 16:02:04 EST A Big, Deep Breath I never really "got it" before. <BR> <BR> I've wanted and worked to make myself a fit person many, many times. I've had, in the past, limited success. But, as it stands, I'm at the beginning again. <BR> <BR> Here I go. Today I will take the first steps toward a better me. This time, however, I'm leaving all of the excuses and sense of futility behind. <BR> <BR> I'm just gonna GO! <BR> <BR> I'm using my body Media Fit to keep myself accountable. It's been a game-changer for me. <BR> <BR>... Sat, 24 Aug 2013 09:44:26 EST