SHANAYNAYGAL's SparkPeople Blog SHANAYNAYGAL's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community The Art of "No thank you." Cinnamon rolls, chips, pizza, brownies and more pizza- this is all the delicious smelling food that my family has eaten since Wednesday. The cinnamon rolls and chips I walked away from fairly easily. I really wanted it but I told myself I can have one in a few weeks. When the pizza came in at 9:30 at night it smelled so good. In the past I would have taken a piece even if I was full to the point of being sick. When the second pizza was baking I filled myself up on something that was healthy a... Sun, 22 Mar 2015 10:51:13 EST Vulnerability Years and years have gone by and I have kept to myself with my emotional eating. Most people would rather not admit that emotional eating is an actual problem. It is. And it is a hard thing to overcome. For awhile I had a hold on it and was able to be in control. At the moment I have a lot of stress going on, good stress, but stress nonetheless. A few months ago I began eating quite a bit when I didn't need to. I ate and ate and ate. It didn't get rid of my stress but added to it because I kn... Mon, 16 Mar 2015 00:28:47 EST That Full Feeling Its been awhile since I have had a healthy full feeling. For the past few months I have either felt empty or sickenly full. Today I had that amazing feeling. It was during a cheat moment when I was enjoying a cookie but I stopped. I felt full and I realized that feeling. This is truly a huge stepping stone. I am going to stand on this stone and find my balance. Once I am sturdy I will move to a different stone and find my balance on that stone. Thu, 22 Jan 2015 22:40:07 EST The Day I Didn't Pay Attention Track, record, prep. I did so many things before to make sure that I lived a healthier life. One day I got busy and didn't track and record my day. I didn't prep for the next day. The next day I was busy and didn't track and record or prep for the next day. This became my pattern for months. One day I woke up and realized that I was definitely not living the lifestyle that I wanted to. I was incredibly happy but knew that I needed to be the best me. <BR> <BR> In September I will marrying the... Mon, 19 Jan 2015 01:31:54 EST Unconscious Binge Eating For the most part I eat healthy during the day but when it becomes evening I eat, a lot. I am aware of this and am trying to fix it but the other night I did something that schocked and even sickened me. <BR> I was falling asleep as my boyfriend was talking to me so he walked me to my room and I was out. About a half hour later I woke up to use the bathroom. On the way back i grabbed string cheese and a handful of either chips or crackers. I didn't realize what I had done until the next morn... Mon, 28 Jul 2014 18:14:48 EST For My Future Children A commercial came on today for a new diet scheme and I started wondering why it is so hard for me and many others to eat healthy. There are two families that I work for where the kids love fruit and veggies and usually prefer it rather than junk food. Why is it so hard for me to choose fruits and veggies than carbs? I snacked on carbs all my life and that is te snack of choice for my family. I have to take respinsibility for the way I eat and live my life now. More than that, in a few years I... Tue, 22 Jul 2014 16:04:01 EST This is MY life!! I am turning 25 on Sunday and for some reason that somewhat depressed me today and made me reflect. I felt depressed today am clawing my way out of it. I am not where I thought I would be but I am so, so happy. However, I need to get control of my health again. <BR> <BR> Back in March I met such an amazing guy. The first night we hung out we talked at a diner until 3 in the morning and we both knew that we wanted something more.... I made him wait a month until he could ask me to be his gal ... Fri, 27 Jun 2014 02:55:20 EST Need a Release I was just scouring the kitchen looking for something salty and crunchy. It must have beem because I am starving... I'm not starving. I am stressing but not starving. I have a lot of things going on financially and also just realized I must be addicted to caffeine because I am hardly functioning. Food is not the answer though. I was just picking another carb item up and threw it down because that is not what I want for my life in the long run. So herebis what I am going to go do. I am going ... Tue, 6 May 2014 18:35:12 EST Preparation A friend asked me to go out with her family for her birthday in a weeks and of course I said yes. I am very excited and then she told me that we are going to go to the olive garden and I got even more excited. I have only been there twice and loved it! <BR> <BR> I have been working hard to be healthy and I want to continue on with my lifestyle. Going to a pasta place can be a hard place to have a healthy meal. I have a feeling by the time I get to the city I am going to be starving and norm... Sat, 8 Mar 2014 21:59:51 EST Stupid Data Plan It has been a long time since I have written a blog. I usually just use my phone since I am hardly on my computer but I used up my data. Tell me how that works since I am barely on my phone compared to the rest of my family. <BR> <BR> I have been doing really good. I joined a site called "Give it 100." The site is formed with people who are dedicated to taking a ten second video a day for 100 days dealing with what their personal goal is. My goal is to work out at least 15 minutes a day. I a... Mon, 3 Mar 2014 11:30:35 EST Small Wins I spent the day at the coast with my sister and friend and will head out tomorrow. The three of us went on a small trip a few years ago and last year went to the coast so we decided that this has to be a tradition. Part of these trips for me is letting all the stress go and getting back to all the things that God has given me and seeking what he wants for me. With all of that said, I haven't been focused on tracking what I am eating or working out more than walking with my ladies. However, th... Wed, 12 Feb 2014 23:13:33 EST I'm Good With That I am now in the 240s!!! I have lost over 20lbs. I am stoked. <BR> <BR> I was actually sitting here munching on a snack... that was not the healthiest, and checking my emails. I had a notification from SP and then I looked at my snack and realized what I was doing! I have worked hard, I don't want to back track!!! <BR> <BR> I am super excited to see what is in store for my health!!! Thu, 6 Feb 2014 20:19:59 EST Sick Go figure, after I write 'Back On Track' I get sick and am in bed for 2 days. I am still in bed but I am able to sit up now and am planning to work tomorrow! <BR> <BR> Here is the part that I am trying to prepare myself for mentally- getting back to working out and tracking what I eat. In the past when I have been sick the days after I eat more after not eatting for days and I don't work out. Not this time!!! I am goung to pay attention to what I eat and I am going to work out.... A little ... Tue, 28 Jan 2014 14:35:47 EST Sick Go figure, after I write 'Back On Track' I get sick and am in bed for 2 days. I am still in bed but I am able to sit up now and am planning to work tomorrow! <BR> <BR> Here is the part that I am trying to prepare myself for mentally- getting back to working out and tracking what I eat. In the past when I have been sick the days after I eat more after not eatting for days and I don't work out. Not this time!!! I am goung to pay attention to what I eat and I am going to work out.... A little ... Tue, 28 Jan 2014 14:35:46 EST Back On Track For the past two weeks I have been housesitting..... At a house that doesn't have much food, or at least food that I'm use to. I like to create in the kitchen with whatever is there and make delectable meals. They were healthy meals filled with lots of veggies but i wasn't tracking because I wasn't measuring. I tend to not measure when I am making something fast and just add things until it looks right. It doesn't sound like a big deal and wouldn't be if it was one meal but I didn't track any... Fri, 24 Jan 2014 14:55:41 EST The Choices That We Make The other day I was having a rough day. It wasn't a horrible day. It was the kind of day where things that normally would just be a small bump to shrug your shoulders at all happened on the same day to make you just want to go to sleep so I could just get to the next day. After my long day I had to drive 40 minutes to house sit, unpack my car, take care of the animals and set up the house where I usually like my things (I house sit here A LOT). I started thinking about how I still needed to e... Sat, 18 Jan 2014 13:23:38 EST I Am Going to Get My Life Back!!! On Monday morning I woke up 3 minutes before I had to be at work.... which was 45 minutes away. I was exhausted and I knew why but didn't want to admit it or make excuses, even though there was an actual problem. I started coming up with different excuses to text my boss but they were all lies. I finally just wrote that there were no excuses and I apologize. I have worked for this family for 4 years and they know me fairly well and I only have been late once before and it was for the same rea... Fri, 17 Jan 2014 03:07:27 EST Disneyland A few years ago my family minus myself went to Disneyland for Thanksgiving with some friends. They all wanted me to go but I didn't want to spend the money at the time and I was also back East for school. There was an underlying reason that I didn't know existed until recently. I didn't want to face embarrassment if I was turned away because of my size. My baby sister is graduating from high school this year and for the past two years she has asked me to come to Disneyland with the family. Th... Sat, 11 Jan 2014 01:14:51 EST Stress and Pain Today was a very stressful day plus I have a cold, feeling foolish and started my ladies' curse. On top of that I have had a pain in my upper back below my shoulder bone for a few weeks.... And it was painful more so today. I craved all sorts of things and I did have a mini binge session but I stopped because I have been doing well and you all have been so supportive and encouraging. <BR> <BR> Now that I am in a good frame of mind I know that in the future I have to work through the stress ... Sun, 5 Jan 2014 02:35:26 EST In tears... Happy tears!!! This morning I was laying in bed debating whether or not I was going to actually get out of bed. While I was still laying there I looked at a devotion app on my phone and it was about endurance in life. I sighed and pulled myself out of bed. I walked into my front room and decided I would measure myself on the wii. I was dreading it because I hadn't weighed myself since I came home from the holidays. I am 255.5 lbs. On SP I put my starting weight as 270 though it was 273. <BR> <BR> The firs... Fri, 3 Jan 2014 23:51:49 EST Simple Wins Tonight I made Cod and encrusted it with parmesan and tomato flavored chips. As I put the leftovers in a container I realized that I wasn't scraping all of the goodies off the pan. In the past I would pick off just about everything and shove it in my mouth. I didn't tonight though and didn't even think about it. Win for me!! <BR> <BR> What are small wins that make you smile? Fri, 3 Jan 2014 01:51:39 EST Proud I can't do it!!! Oh wait, yes I can!!!!! <BR> <BR> A few days ago I got into an argument with my mom and I automatically sat on my bed and grabbed something crunchy to munch on. I ate some but then I stopped myself. I stopped myself! I don't remember stopping myself in the past. The next night I was exhausted and laying in bed thinking, "I should do steps." In the past, I have said, "I will do it tomorrow," and not do it. I got up and did it. Last night I was overhelmed in a task I had taken... Sun, 22 Dec 2013 17:25:02 EST Frame of Mind I am a very competitive lady, which can come in handy when I am working and for me to succeed in a career but when it comes to my health it is not always the best thing. This afternoon I was thinking about how I worked out this morning and if I had time when I finally got home that I would do at least ten minutes of steps. I then thought about tomorrow and how much time I could dedicate to working out and then started thinking about the next two weeks. I became overwhelmed and frustrated bec... Fri, 20 Dec 2013 03:30:50 EST What to do?! Today's blog assignment is to list different things I can do when I feel a binge coming on. I'm glad that this is the assignment because I have thought about this but have not really wanted to hit it head on. By writing down different things I can actually go to the list and do them. <BR> <BR> 1. Turn up the music and dance my worries away. Better yet..... <BR> <BR> 2. Turn on some gospel and have a Holy Ghost moment. <BR> <BR> 3. Take a walk and get all of my frustration out. <BR> <BR> 4... Wed, 18 Dec 2013 16:56:03 EST It's a New Dawn, It's a New Day, and I'm feelin' good!! This weekend has not been so great with food choices..... or exercising. I am sitting here at the end of my weekend reflecting on my choices and am focusing on looking at things in perspective. Last night I had a staff party at my church and didn't over do it. I decided that I would pass on dessert because I knew that I would have a brownie later for my dad's birthday. I didn't exercise at all, and I bought a coffee that I didn't need plus snacked a bit. Today was our kid's production at chur... Mon, 16 Dec 2013 03:00:18 EST The Ripple Effect I am not just changing my lifestyle, I am changing other people's lifestyle, mood and opinions. <BR> <BR> What I am about to share saddens my heart. It didn't hurt me personally or necessarily offend me but it shocked me at how some people think... An what they teach their children. <BR> <BR> A few years ago a girl I care for told me I couldn't run because I have a big belly. We talked about it and the differences between people an I thought it was over. A few weeks ago her little brother,... Fri, 13 Dec 2013 01:13:14 EST Take it Slow I stayed under my calories today..... but my body needs more calories - especially on such a busy day. Also, my calories weren't necessarily filling. (I had two coffees). I was going to work out a little bit tonight but I am so dizzy and have such a bad headache. I went from eating way to many calories to eating below a normal amount. I know tomorrow and from now on that I need to pay attention to my body. Some days I might need more than what I normally need because I am more active and some... Thu, 12 Dec 2013 01:45:45 EST ME! My task for today through Sparkcoach is to write what I like about myself.... Well its more like love. <BR> <BR> My eyes. My eyes turn from blue to gray to green. They turn colors when my mood changes. The rest of family has brown eyes so it makes me feel a bit unique. <BR> <BR> My hair. I have the kind of hair that has a mind of its own but luckily it is a fashionable mind. I can have it up and look like a mess but take out my ponytail and it falls to place and has a lit of volume. <BR> <... Wed, 11 Dec 2013 01:22:42 EST Not Worth It This morning at church I walking in the kitchen to grab some water for my classes when one of the ladies was walking out with a cart full of breakfast treats. They smelled so good and then she asked me if I wanted a fresh one. I said I don't think so and then she told me to try one. I don't usually like the breakfast items but I always hope that I will. I picked it up and took a bite. I did not like this one. She stood there and asked me if I like it and I said "Uh-huh." (I know that a sin is... Sun, 8 Dec 2013 18:01:40 EST Love-Hate Relationship I love working out. I love swimming. I love lifting weights. I love dancing. I love pilates. I love yoga. <BR> <BR> Then why don't I do it? <BR> <BR> I hate feeling out of breath and getting light headed because I over do it. I hate sweating. <BR> <BR> Hmmmm......... So many things I love but only a few I hate. That just put thing in prospective for me. I need to get my butt in gear so I can feel more comfortable doing the things I love. Sun, 8 Dec 2013 02:28:02 EST Proverbs 3:5,6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge Him in all your ways and He will make your path straight. <BR> <BR> The Lord has been good to me and has directed me in my life. There are times when I wonder, "Why?" But when I later reflect I understand that my Lord always had a plan even if I didn't understand it. I will continue to trust my sweet, sweet Jesus. Wed, 4 Dec 2013 01:38:21 EST The Ocean of Life Shhh..... Listen. Do you hear it? It is silent and then roars to life as it comes crashing down. Do you see it? It is a calming blue and then turns dark, almost black. Can you feel it? It sets one at ease and calms the soul, until not paying attention and then it can tear you to pieces and steal your breath. <BR> <BR> Life and the ocean have similarities. Life is amazing and all of are so blessed that the Lord honored us by allowing us to live on His earth. When in the ocean one must keep mo... Tue, 3 Dec 2013 16:52:16 EST Time Flies! Oh my! I have not really been active on here since July! Not cool. It is way too late for me to actually spill all of my thoughts and new goals but I thought that by writing this it would be a small push to write an actual blog. <BR> <BR> Ladies and gentlemen I would appreciate some support and advice. Anyone out there that would like to keep me accountable? Look for my next blog because it is coming! <BR> <BR> Good night! Mon, 2 Dec 2013 03:10:56 EST I'm still here!!! Don't forget about me please. I really am still here. <BR> <BR> It has been a long few weeks. Maybe it has only been a week.... I have no idea, it feels like a long time. <BR> <BR> I don't really have anything to right about plus I am tired. <BR> <BR> Well, my fellow Sparks don't forget, I am still alive and though I am not always on the computer I am still fighting. <BR> <BR> Also, if you could all say some prayers for me that would be wonderful. I broke my finger a month ago and it i... Wed, 24 Jul 2013 03:00:59 EST Obtaining Control This week was a very hard week for me. A few things happened that led to emotional eating... or emotional binge. I felt hungry, I felt empty. If I took the time to explore my inner thoughts and feelings I would know that it wasn't that I was hungry but that I was lonely. I can only address it now because I had a pretty good day with people. <BR> <BR> I have moved around a lot and I have amazing friends but none of them live near me. I do not have any close friends near me. It's lonely. It s... Sun, 14 Jul 2013 23:47:21 EST Summer Challenge Halfway Point This past week has been hard to log what I have been eating for a few days because I haven't had my computer or I have been at someones house so I don't know exactly what it is. I have been logging my food choices in a journal though. <BR> <BR> When I started this journey I was 270.... I am now 259.7!! I am under 260 and plan to stay there. I have been eating well and exercising. I do need to come up with an actual plan and schedule though. I work out when I can and take all the kids I watc... Thu, 11 Jul 2013 01:18:45 EST Yummy Greekish-Aimeeish Pasta The other day I saw this recipe on SP :<BR>il.asp?recipe=2515103 and had to make it..... with my own twist of course. <BR> <BR> When looking at recipes I usually go with only the ones that contain ingredients I already have or that I will actually use. I also can't help but changing things and hardly ever measure when I am putting my heart into foods. (I've been trying to more now that I realize the need for paying attention to calories.). I feel ... Sat, 6 Jul 2013 22:54:58 EST Birthday Weekend 6/29 <BR> Breakfast - French Toast and 1/2 banana (my sister got out of bed to make me a birthday breakfast) <BR> <BR> Lunch - 1/2 6" sub from subway, edamame, chips, strawberries <BR> <BR> Snack - Iced Cocomo(It's still in the fridge) <BR> <BR> Dinner - Calamari and 3 crab puffs <BR> <BR> Snack - Ice cream and brownie, Muenster cheese and homemade crackers <BR> <BR> Fitness - I woke up early and took the dog for a walk. I also went on an adventure and found a water fall and walked aroun... Mon, 1 Jul 2013 03:23:36 EST Food Journal for 6/24-6/28 6/24 <BR> Breakfast: Grainberry cereal with Almond Milk <BR> <BR> Lunch: 1/2 Dill Pickle, Kettle Chips, Ham & Muenster Sandwich <BR> (I went out to eat for lunch at a small cafe so I looked up the individual items on the sandwich to calculate the calories.) <BR> <BR> Snack: Coffee and Cream, 1/2 Biscotti, 1/2 serving of Kame Crackers, .25 cup blueberries <BR> <BR> Dinner: 2 BBQ Chicken Drumsticks, 1/2 cup of Suddenly Salad, 1/2 cup of Pears, 1/2 cup of Radishes, 1/2 cup of cucumbers <BR> ... Sat, 29 Jun 2013 12:55:19 EST Seriously! I bought a coffee today because it was a hard morning and I figured it would be fine because I ate well yesterday..... well at least I thought I did. I didn't track my calories online until just now though...sigh. I wrote down everything I ate and the calories but didn't know how many calories were in one item - <BR> <BR> BABY RED POTATOES!!!! <BR> <BR> There are over 100 calories in 1 - I had three. I had three the other day ... Sun, 23 Jun 2013 18:28:05 EST Realization I grew up eating fast food without thinking about it. It was a treat when I was younger. We didn't have much money and when we had a bit extra my parents would take us girls out. In highschool my family had more money and less time so we had fast-food quite often. When I started driving and my own money I would treat myself when I could. As my life became more hectic and I was driving from job to job I relied on fast-food. I love cooking but did not make it a priority. <BR> <BR> This evenin... Tue, 18 Jun 2013 01:58:39 EST Challenge - What do I want this Summer? I take a deep breath in and feel my lungs expand. I exhale and feel my body relax. I move my legs as I step forward. I don't know how long I have been walking. All I know is that I feel completely at peace. The sun is hot but once in awhile there is a gentle breeze that provides some sort of relief. I continue to walk and thank God for the beauty that surrounds me and the life I have. <BR> <BR> I used to walk all the time. If I was happy, I would walk. If I was sad, I would walk. If I was ju... Mon, 17 Jun 2013 11:50:05 EST Getting Healthy verses Getting Smaller When I was young I remember my grandma talk about the last 5 pounds she needs to lose.... she still talks about the same 5 pounds. Many members of my family are always talking about how much weight they need to lose and then the conversation turns into gossip about others weight and eating habits. Currently I have two people in my family who are trying two different things. <BR> <BR> One of my lovely family members has started eating all natural. I think that is wonderful.... when you are no... Mon, 10 Jun 2013 00:12:50 EST Late Nights Do do do doo, good night sweet heart, well it's time to go....... but I never go. <BR> <BR> I have always stayed up late, it's a family thing. I remember doing homework in high school late at night and my dad up working. My sister tends to stay up until at least 2am every night. I work better last minute and late at night. At the moment I have a business book laying in my lap and documents open while I am creating a business plan. Yes, I should be working on it now but I needed to write this... Thu, 6 Jun 2013 04:04:19 EST The First Small Things I was going over my checking account today and adding up all the small things.... at least what seemed to be small at the time. I thought back on the day that one of my bosses had a scheduling emergency so I hurried to pick her daughter up at 8 in the evening, had to put her to sleep, had a test that was closing at 10 and still hadn't eaten dinner yet. At the time it seemed like the best choice was to grab fast food on the way so I would have time to put the baby to sleep, take my test and ea... Sat, 25 May 2013 06:28:39 EST