SEPTEMBERSPIRIT's SparkPeople Blog SEPTEMBERSPIRIT's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Success is a Lifestyle - Not a Result I took this number 5 from Marc and Angel's post today (if you want to read the rest of the great tips see this link <link><BR>hings-you-need-to-remind-yourself-of-w<BR>hen-you-wake-up/#more-766 </link> <BR> <BR> Success is a lifestyle, not a result. – We all want to achieve success, but we need to remember that success in not a specific achievement. Success is not crossing over some arbitrary finishing line. It’s the ability to fight the good fight da... Thu, 24 Jul 2014 07:35:53 EST Feeling so Ambivalent Well I'm back to work and now thinking that I may NOT move... After seeing the places I saw (they were old and dated compared to the nice and newly renovated place I'm in) and only a slight difference in cost - I may be able to re-work my budget and stay where I am. I can also look at renting a room out if need be. Things are just too unstable with my youngest and she's even talking/threatening to move out on me so I don't want to commit to a new lease for a year without knowing what will ha... Mon, 21 Jul 2014 13:11:38 EST Viewing New Places I went to view a place today and while it wasn't bad - the outside of the building wasn't great looking. There are other buildings they manage and I've setup another appointment tomorrow to go see it. I will say this - I am going to feel the change - it's not as new or nearly as nice as where I am right now - as this place was freshly renovated and I LOVED the kitchen and I won't have a dishwasher... BUT I will be near the water and closer to work and my daughter is happy as it's also closer ... Sat, 19 Jul 2014 20:01:36 EST The WILL to Change It seems these days that change is all around me and while I embrace it - there are some areas of my life where I find my will to change is not where it should be. My mind has been completely pre-occupied these past couple of weeks on my family life - the challenges with my daughters, the pending move of my oldest and now the reality of having to also face downsizing and move again. <BR> <BR> As I have said - I have not lived in an apartment in over 2 decades and while I'm open to it - I kno... Fri, 18 Jul 2014 07:44:11 EST Moving Considerations So I took a 'drive by' of the place I thought would be great - walk to work and all and I just didn't get a good vibe nor did I like the look of the place - or similar unit/blocks around it so the search continues. <BR> <BR> While I want to be closer to work - and ideally be able to walk - I don't want to sacrifice other things. I'm going to widen my search - now considering a place by Mooney's Bay - near a few places I'd love to be close to - which involves WATER (Mooney's Bay beach and Ho... Wed, 16 Jul 2014 20:14:57 EST Symbols and Signs <img src=""> <BR> I am having a friend paint a 'lovers' painting to hang in my bedroom and above is this white moth that landed on the painting and stayed with her for an hour while she worked on my piece (I hope to receive it later this week). Given all that's been going on with me and now the pending move - I will not hang it until I am moved into my new space and I will completely redo my room around the colors from this painting. <B... Wed, 16 Jul 2014 11:45:31 EST Blessing in Disguise <img src=""> <BR> Well yesterday's thought about moving again was not welcome at first, but as the day went on and as I started thinking of the pros and cons, I do believe this might be a blessing in disguise. <BR> <BR> Moving closer to work will shorten my commute. Downsizing to an apartment will be tough as I have not lived in an apartment for over 20 years - and while I will miss some things - I'm trying to look at the bright side of... Tue, 15 Jul 2014 07:35:29 EST Moving Again?!? Well I never thought I'd be considering this again so soon - but with the news that my oldest will be moving out August 1st and with me losing her share of support when she turns 18 means I have some big decisions to consider. <BR> <BR> There's also the fact that the day treatment program my daughter will be attending in the Fall is on the other side of town and my work commute is 1 hour by bus. So I'm putting feelers out and I'm going to explore moving closer to my workplace to reduce my co... Mon, 14 Jul 2014 13:06:21 EST Look Deep Within I've been taking time out from the computer world and just coming back today... It's been an incredibly difficult week for me and I'm trying hard to come around. Today - it's rainy out and I'm going to spend time in my room listening to some meditative music, do some reading and some cleaning - maybe some cooking later on... <BR> <BR> I was cleaning out my inbox and found this card - which really does pinpoint exactly where I'm at. I love these Lotus Cards... <BR> <em>8</em> <em>8</em>... Sun, 13 Jul 2014 12:09:15 EST Breaking Down... <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> I've felt this before - but perhaps this time it's even scarier as I swore I'd never be back here again. This weekend was truly heart wrenching with a major blow out on Saturday with my 13 year old - and I'm still recovering emotionally. <BR> <BR> I was ready to throw in the to... Tue, 8 Jul 2014 08:07:37 EST Borderline Personality Disorder I made a few calls today - first to the Children's Aid Society to clarify what had been said to me with respect to giving up my daughter to temporary care - which in my case, since she's not at risk of harm by me, would mean basically that I would be abandoning her because I couldn't handle it anymore (something that just breaks my heart to even think about). <BR> <BR> Then I called the Parents Lifeline of Eastern Ontario again and I have to say I need to call them more often. The person I s... Fri, 4 Jul 2014 21:00:40 EST Affirmations at Work... <img src=""> <BR> Life and every NEW day is definitely a blessing to be appreciated! <BR> <BR> It was back to work today and it felt good - especially since things cooled off and I managed to sleep a solid 5 hours - I know not a lot but in comparison to the previous 3 nights a blessing. <BR> <BR> The day flew by as it was my first day back since last Thursday. I am forever grateful for my workplace and amazing colleagues! <BR> <BR> I ... Thu, 3 Jul 2014 17:18:10 EST Staying Strong ... and Coping <img src=""> <BR> It's very heart wrenching that my 13 year old daughter is going through so much. Today was another day off for me - and I hoped to rest but spent it mostly still wound up about the event and talking with my oldest as we kind of debriefed together as she too is going through all of this. It's stressful for her too to hear and witness all of it. She often feels caught in the middle as my 13 year old will confide certain th... Wed, 2 Jul 2014 17:20:34 EST Overcoming Adversity <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Yesterday was quite a day for me. It started with my motivation on a high because of the new month but as the day progressed things became more challenging. <BR> <BR> More conflict and arguing with my kids. My own cravings to cave in on my resolve to abstain from alcohol for a while and then caving in - but to fast foods instead. I managed to turn... Wed, 2 Jul 2014 08:22:29 EST 30 Days to my 8 Year SP Anniversary! <img src=""> <BR> This SP quote is ME - as I weighed in and measured again - no big changes from last month and overall since the beginning of my journey here 8 years ago - I am down 12lbs. There was a time that I was down 30lbs but I regained some. But I'm not going to fret about this because I'm still here and will continue to be for a lifetime - because this is not a diet plan but a lifestyle!! <BR> <BR> SP has been a wonderful addit... Tue, 1 Jul 2014 07:55:43 EST Faith Will Bring Me Through This <img src=""> <BR> I am catholic - but I am not a church goer at this time in my life. I am very spiritual and truly do believe in the higher power, my angels, and yes God. I do not speak of it often but think of it daily and pray daily - to get me through these difficult times. <BR> <BR> I am also grateful that despite some very challenging times - I'm still blessed with many good things in my life. <BR> <BR> This past week has been an... Mon, 30 Jun 2014 09:27:47 EST Another Beautiful Grad Pic <img src=""> <BR> This picture was taken the night of the graduation dinner - it's even nicer than the package I purchased... her hair is longer and her smile... Gorgeous!! <BR> <BR> I am now off for the 'long' weekend and not back to work until Wed July 2nd. <BR> <BR> I'm feeling very tired and drained and need to re-energize and get my mojo back. I need to take stock of where I am at and where I need to go. I need to acknowledge how ... Thu, 26 Jun 2014 16:23:43 EST Cleanse and Healing <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> I can't believe we are nearing the end of another month. With school officially ending and summer beginning - it's time to think of vacations and taking a break from routine. For me - it means re-adjusting to day to day dealings with how to manage my daughter and hopefully ge... Wed, 25 Jun 2014 10:17:32 EST Gift and Purpose <img src=""> <BR> My blogs and writing are my gifts back to the world. As I document my journey - my struggles and my successes, I allow others to see that they are not alone. I speak thoughts here - sometimes very personal - opening up my world to others, in the hopes that perhaps in doing so, I can help someone through their own struggles. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> The choices we mak... Tue, 24 Jun 2014 08:29:20 EST Motivation is Lacking - The WHY my Resistance is Low <img src=""> <BR> I start the day off with good intentions... and then I get hit with the reality and heartaches that have been ongoing and my resistance get worn down... <BR> <BR> My girlfriend found this article that truly explains it well: <link><BR>l-decisions/201406/why-your-resistance<BR>-gets-low </link> <BR> <BR> I know it's not an excuse but I'm seriously just trying to survive these day... Mon, 23 Jun 2014 19:44:37 EST Acceptance <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Yesterday was good - while I didn't stay on track with my intentions - I am ok with what happened and accept where I'm at right now. I spent the morning cleaning out my daughter's room - finding things that hurt - showing the signs of her pain and issues... but it felt good to... Sun, 22 Jun 2014 09:54:24 EST Face the Truth - Coping.... <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> I wake this morning feeling like I need to truly face some hard facts... I cannot move forward until I face some realities and that is that I have poor coping mechanisms at times when it comes to dealing... Sat, 21 Jun 2014 09:09:31 EST 10 Power Thoughts for a More Rewarding Life Louise Hay has been an incredible influence in my journey. It started with the book "You Can Heal Your Life" and now I live by positive affirmations and start every day with them and end each day by expressing that which I'm grateful for - it truly can change YOUR life!! <BR> <BR> These are power thoughts posted in a recent newsletter I received from Louise Hay. <BR> <BR> 1. I choose to feel good about myself each day. Every morning I remind myself that I can make the choice to feel good. ... Wed, 18 Jun 2014 08:25:55 EST A Graduation Gift... <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> It was a nice evening last night... the pics above of all three girls and my daughter receiving her diploma. <BR> <BR> In the mail was an envelope sent by my sister's best friend, who since my sister pas... Wed, 18 Jun 2014 05:24:42 EST Graduation Day <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Tonight is my 17 year old's graduation dinner and I can't believe the day is HERE!! It's been a challenging road to arrive here - but tonight it will be celebrations of endings and new beginnings. <BR> <BR> While she is not sure what's next - education and learning is truly ... Tue, 17 Jun 2014 09:04:07 EST I had Good Intentions... <img src=""> <BR> The T from HALT was at play today BIG time - I am feeling so drained and tired from a week of about an average of 4 to 5 hours sleep... <BR> <BR> And so the mind goes... the hunger grows, the cravings are there and I cave in - to tired to fight it mentally and actually enjoying the comfort of just being. It's just the easy way out I know and it's not what is going to get me the results I want. <BR> <BR> My mind works ... Fri, 13 Jun 2014 17:39:28 EST The Countdown is ON! <img src=""> <BR> So many things are coming up in the next while and I need to get my FOCUS on!! <BR> <BR> Last night I was sworn in as the new president for our chapter effective July 1st to December 31, 2014 (ending early as the organization will be restructuring from chapters to branches so our chapter will dissolve in December/January). <BR> <BR> My daughter's graduation dinner is on Tuesday. <BR> <BR> My youngest has until Monda... Fri, 13 Jun 2014 07:51:38 EST 11-11-11 and Full Moon Friday the 13th <img src=""> <BR> I often look at my clock and 11 or the sequence as above which is a bit more rare shows up and I smile and think positive thoughts because I view it as a sign from my angels being with me. <BR> <BR> The other 'angel' sign I have is finding dimes everywhere - in the strangest places and at times when it's like I need the sign to know they are with me. <BR> <BR> Then there's this Friday... <BR> <img src="http://phot... Wed, 11 Jun 2014 14:20:11 EST Never EVER Quit! <img src=""> <BR> There are times when our progress seems slow or at a stand still - or even like it's going the wrong way - but one thing I've learned is to Never EVER Quit! If you've had a bad day - turn TODAY into a great one! What choices can you make today that will make it more successful. Better yet - what action plan do you have - what workout will you do, what will you eat/drink (or maybe more important what WON'T you eat/drink)... Tue, 10 Jun 2014 05:25:33 EST New Week! <img src=""> <BR> Last week was good in the exercise department. I did my ST Monday to Thursday alternating upper and lower body. I did well with nutrition... until Thursday rolled around and then I slipped off track again. <BR> <BR> I was successful in not weighing in every day - but was a bit disappointed that not ONE pound moved ... however, it's my own doing with too much indulging on the weekend. <BR> <BR> I was active with the... Mon, 9 Jun 2014 19:55:05 EST What a Day!! Pics of Yard Work and my Beautiful Daughter's Grad Pic!!! So today was a slew of things... good, bad, sad, happy... <BR> <BR> It started with me feeling a bit bad with not going to Zumba due to a lingering headache/migraine... But once I recovered - I went to work on my yard... Here's some before and after shots. I originally thought of putting more patio stones but because it's a condo - it requires board approval - so it's going to be sod ... which the property manager will provide (as I have done all the hard work). <BR> <BR> <img src="http:/... Sun, 8 Jun 2014 20:56:19 EST Volunteering at the Telethon <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> I had the pleasure of volunteering at the CHEO 2014 telethon yesterday. I was there in support of this wonderful cause and of course in support of Princess Maya who was diagnosed with Leukemia in Januar... Sun, 8 Jun 2014 07:58:42 EST SUPER HERO DAY <img src=""> <BR> It's Super Hero Day at work today as we prepare for our annual telethon tomorrow! Many activities are going on and it's a special day as I brought my daughter in as she has her psychiatric appointment here. I'm so grateful and blessed to be working at the local children's hospital - where so many key services are provided. <BR> <BR> Tomorrow our team will host an open house - so any SP friends in Ottawa - be sure to c... Fri, 6 Jun 2014 07:32:59 EST Body Image Work <img src=""> <BR> Here are a few links that I think will be a great opening to this blog: <BR> <link><BR>3nCw10 </link> <BR> <link><BR>hion/plus-size-models-spoof-sports-ill<BR>ustrated-swimsuit-issue-cover-to-procl<BR>aim-body-positivity-185946317.html </link> <BR> I watched these with my 13 year old last night ... and although she wasn't really into it - I hop... Thu, 5 Jun 2014 10:04:06 EST HALT - I was 'T' Today <img src=""> <BR> I know myself now and when I am tired, my resolve to stay on track is tougher. I didn't sleep well as it was very humid and I have no AC. Combine that with my own body's hot flashes every now and again = a very restless night. So the day was harder today - I found myself craving food but I know deep down it's just because I was tired. <BR> <BR> Recognizing it is half the battle. While I did indulge a bit (I did have a... Wed, 4 Jun 2014 04:51:13 EST Successful Day! <img src=""> <BR> I had a successful day yesterday - I tracked my food, I stayed within eating hours range, I exercised a LOT, including the grueling job of ripping out the yucky grass/weeds from my back yard - almost done now... <BR> <BR> I am also proud that I've not been tempted to peak at the scale - a BIG step forward for me as I was one of the daily weighers. I'm determined to only take it out once a week on Sunday mornings. <BR>... Tue, 3 Jun 2014 08:35:38 EST Work Your Strategy <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> I was gung ho yesterday to make it a successful day and it started out great! I was tracking my food. I went for a 40 minute walk by the river and I went to Zumba for an hour workout. Then came the afternoon - and the leftover couple of drinks called my name so I finished the... Mon, 2 Jun 2014 08:07:05 EST 60 Days to my 8 Year SP Anniversary <img src=""> <BR> I absolutely love turning the calendar page and having a fresh start! This month is especially special as I'm counting down to my 8 year SP Anniversary and re-setting all goals and tickers. <BR> <BR> Weight is up but it will come back down. Here are my stats today and I vow to NOT weigh in more than once a week - on Sundays now since I'm starting today. I know that my journey is not just about the number on the scale ... Sun, 1 Jun 2014 07:53:25 EST Sexy is a State of Mind <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> I have to thank Sue McGarvie for bringing me to the place I find myself today... feeling good in my skin at the size I'm at NOW. Sure I still want to improve upon myself but I am appreciating my SELF as I am in the present. Yes I'm going to keep working to trim and tone... b... Sat, 31 May 2014 08:22:15 EST Fighting Obesity - Time to Attack it Like We Did Tobacco Use Here's a link to an interview conducted here at my workplace with my <em>345</em> boss Dr. Mark Tremblay!! I was there taking pics - and after that we celebrated a colleague's BIG 30 Birthday! I am so blessed to be a part of this incredible team!! <BR> <link><BR>y-fight-needs-government-strategy-cheo<BR>-doctor-says-1.2658988 </link> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.... Fri, 30 May 2014 07:18:32 EST A Change in Perspective <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> A few images to spark some thought my friends... I have been really reflecting lately how my perspective about this health journey has changed over the years. I am learning to really love and appreciate my body as it is now - all the while seeking to continually strive to be b... Thu, 29 May 2014 10:27:10 EST Roller Coaster Yesterday was a semi-good day - I try to poke out the positives first... <BR> <BR> I was AF <BR> I exercised 110mins <BR> I met with my gf for a lunch time walk and we vented <BR> My youngest asked me to go for a walk <BR> <BR> School attendance is still NOT happening and I'm so frustrated. The school is not pushing much anymore either and I feel it is just not right to dump this all on me. The vice-principal said he would call me today but honestly I'm so frustrated with them too - even th... Wed, 28 May 2014 16:43:13 EST Day 1 Back - Didn't go as planned Well I had hoped to be back to routine and normalcy. Work was great - as always just catching up. I emailed the school to see how my daughter was doing and learned she left after the first break and never returned. When I called home she said she felt like passing out and was sick when she got home. She has been showing signs of eating issues again - thus her feeling of passing out as she has not been eating right. So much for going to school all week. <BR> <BR> THEN - I got home to find a ... Tue, 27 May 2014 10:00:06 EST Back to Work Well I go back to work today and my daughter is going back to school - modified in that she goes to the guidance office and not regular class - but she'll be there. I have negotiated with her that if she goes all week she will get her desired reward this weekend. <BR> <BR> I have been a bit of a wreck and avoiding things. I think I'm also suffering from the post-vacation depression a bit... while I have a trip coming up at the end of July - I'm worried about how I can go and enjoy it given t... Mon, 26 May 2014 04:39:12 EST Hope - Lotus Card Reading <img src=""> <BR> I love my free online Lotus Card readings... this one so accurate for all I'm feeling/experiencing and it gives me hope... <BR> <BR> Card 1 (The Chariot) : How you feel about yourself now » <BR> <BR> You feel everything is a constant battle at the moment, but persevere and you will triumph in the end. Expect some good news that will help you to keep going until you achieve your goals. This is a time of movement and ... Sat, 24 May 2014 08:58:32 EST Finding my Ground Again <img src=""> <BR> Yesterday was another tough day ... I ended up in arguments with both girls and did a search of my youngest's room to find that while I thought she had not cut in some time (since before xmas) - there were obvious signs she had. When I asked when - she said a few weeks ago but I'm not sure I can believe her. I also found evidence of her smoking - cigarettes and marijuana. <BR> <BR> She then went out and flat out lied ... Fri, 23 May 2014 08:37:14 EST Back from Vacation, Back to Reality Well I got back from our amazing vacation late Tuesday night (May 20th). The 7 days away, the break and being in a stress free zone was simply incredible. We were also very active - every day (lots of walking, swimming, dancing, snorkeling) ... doing so many things including a standup paddle board lesson (and we only fell once) and the amazing Harbour Lights show. <BR> <BR> Here's a link to some pics (the album from my Facebook account) - I think you can see it. <link>http://www.facebook.... Thu, 22 May 2014 07:59:37 EST At the Airport THE day has finally arrived!!! We are sitting at the airport - it is 3:37am. We got maybe 2 hours of sleep but it is all good! Our flight leaves at 6am and we land in Bridgetown at 2:05pm. By 4 we should be on the beach enjoying our first drink. <BR> <BR> My youngest pulled a number on me before I left makimg me wonder how things will go while I am away but que sera sera at this point. I am on vacation. <BR> <BR> This will be my last blog - check in until I return as I am unplugging! Have... Tue, 13 May 2014 03:41:51 EST Happy Mothers Day to all my wonderful SP Friends! <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> It's a beautiful sunny day here... one daughter is still out - one is sleeping... <BR> <BR> I am thinking of my beautiful mother today and missing her dearly... <BR> <img src=""> <BR> She was easy going, caring, genero... Sun, 11 May 2014 06:37:44 EST Just another day While I wish my girls would treat me differently for and with Mother's Day tomorrow - this morning was not good. I have become numb to how they speak to me but at times like this - when I would think they would take extra care to maybe make an effort... well NOT. <BR> <BR> My oldest even went so far as to say I was selfish and I just thought about myself - because I said I was looking forward to my trip... They know just what to say to get to you, don't they?! <BR> <BR> On an upside - I had... Sat, 10 May 2014 19:41:19 EST