SENSORYFOODIE's SparkPeople Blog SENSORYFOODIE's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Today I came back Today I came back after a long time away <BR> To return to the place that started my way, <BR> To a new life, a new bod, a new start <BR> In a new place, a new lease, a new heart. <BR> <BR> I bought new pants, I saw myself shrink <BR> But then I got scared--froze--got tight, couldn't think. <BR> <BR> Got all caught up in weights, bands and right; <BR> "How do I eat and when, and if at night? <BR> <BR> Found I should stop, and find who I am; <BR> What do I like, what do I do, and when? <BR>... Thu, 26 Jun 2014 13:06:33 EST No Streaks But Down Anyway I have taken a break from tracking my exercise and nutrients on SparkPeople but I haven't stopped tracking them internally. For that reason, I have lost weight--not a lot, but down is down! When you're using a digital scale, a few ounces makes a difference, and I am celebrating that as I would despair if they went in the opposite direction. I have been watching how I eat, when I eat, what I eat, and most important, if I want to eat which I believe has been part of the reason along with all of... Sun, 25 May 2014 07:10:07 EST Coming back to you The struggle is real Mon, 19 May 2014 06:25:50 EST What I WILL I will: <BR> <BR> Eat clementines at night. <BR> <BR> I will: <BR> <BR> Not talk myself into eating at night <BR> <BR> When hungry, I will eat something that I KNOW I'm okay with, so I don't have to live a lie, which is <BR> <BR> EATING ANYTHING IS OKAY AND IT WON'T MATTER. Eating MATTERS. Fri, 9 May 2014 06:43:20 EST Big Eater, Big Talker I think I eat and talk a lot and like to use my mouth for a whole lot of other reasons. This being said, eating is a wonderful diversion. <BR> <BR> Yesterday I had fun in my house, where I pretended my house was the grocery store and I was the customer who bought and consumed everything it had: buttered popcorn, oreos, walnuts, sausage, eggs, cheese, etc... But I tracked my calories so I could see how much damage I had done so damage was not complete. After all, I have met one of my short te... Wed, 7 May 2014 00:33:11 EST BMR, BMI and A, B, C, D, E, F, G So after spending about 30 minutes calculating and recalculating my BMR (relatively easy) and my BMI (much, much harder for me to get), I came away with much confusion over my base and my high caloric allotment given to me by SP. <BR> <BR> Which leads me to my next post, which was coming whether I calculated my BMI or not or even knew what it was. <BR> <BR> I have got to learn how to eat. Our ancestors--even 200 years ago-- knew how to eat. They ate when they were hungry. Someone knows th... Wed, 30 Apr 2014 06:31:09 EST Becoming True to Myself After six weeks on the program and enough weight, but not more than 10 combined lbs and inches, lost to make a visible overall difference in my appearance, I am back down to what I my common "normal", although, like obese people who after a certain period stop counting the lbs gained or lost and just live in the moment, I consider this weight to be my highest that I can tolerate before I look measurably overweight. <BR> <BR> So, this is what that means: <BR> <BR> I have to have a "new norm... Mon, 28 Apr 2014 07:40:51 EST It is enough To get this far and to not congratulate myself would be to lose the lesson, so I've decided in this journey to say "dayenu"--it would have been enough--and to stop here. I've not given up the fight or changed my goals at all. I've decided that I can accept myself right here and right now for changing my body and liking those changes before I go any further down the road of more changes. <BR> <BR> Why am I willing to do this? Because a) weight loss is hard, and b) there is no guarantee that I... Fri, 25 Apr 2014 07:49:52 EST I wanted to be a race car driver At age 52 3/4, I am finally stepping into adulthood. This means that I leave behind childish behavior and embrace courageous, uncomfortable behavior. <BR> <BR> What is uncomfortable is being the person I was meant to be, instead of the person I think I was supposed to be. For years I tried to become what I wasn't, whether that was a straight-haired person, someone who was good at organizing, and mostly someone who just wasn't ME. Those may be the operable words: someone who wasn't ME. <BR> ... Thu, 17 Apr 2014 06:59:46 EST Getting the hang of it I think I'm getting it, after almost six weeks on the program. <BR> I understand what we all learn after a while: that it's a numbers game. <BR> Very simply, what you take in must be less than what you burn off. <BR> If we search it out on the SP site, our resting metabolic burn rate is about 1700 calories a day (if I am wrong, then please correct me, and this may be for women only). If we eat the minimum of 1200, then we are losing a rate of 500 calories a day, which would make a deficit of... Tue, 15 Apr 2014 04:02:36 EST Looked in the Mirror Uh OH--I looked in the horror mirror. And what did I see? The EXTERNAL me looking back. And did I like her? No, I did not like her. I picked her apart. Now, granted, before I began this program I had not really scrutinized myself without my clothes on. I had scrutinized and criticized her WITH her clothes on but without any critical move towards changing her. <BR> <BR> Now I am trying to change my body. But I am faced with the reality of what I look like externally and it scares me. <BR> <... Thu, 10 Apr 2014 09:45:12 EST Obsession about my Body Now that I have lost enough weight to look significantly different, I look less in the mirror than I did before. Albeit, I am still in the middle of my journey and not at my final destination. This may be why I don't want to obsess about myself. A, I want to accept myself NOW, before I get to goal size, and B, I don't want to obsess about where I am. I want the process to take care of itself and I don't want to get in the way. <BR> <BR> I believe that all the time I was looking in the mirro... Wed, 9 Apr 2014 04:03:03 EST