SELENAMDZ's SparkPeople Blog SELENAMDZ's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Back again Ready to start fighting for myself again Wed, 16 Nov 2016 22:59:39 EST The new normal. <img src=""> <BR> <BR> To say my life isn't completely different..would be a lie. Everything is different. <BR> I am trying to find a new normal. <BR> The last few months have been hell, and are getting worse with time. There is much more to my husbands diagnoses then "you are going to die, eventually". His symptoms are many, and hard for him and I to manage. Many symptoms are mental, and causing him to do/say ... Wed, 11 May 2016 10:14:19 EST Trying to cope Thank you everyone who posted on my last blog. Really means a lot and feels good to share whats going on with you all. <BR> My husband has told a few people of his terminal disease (huntingtons) but as of now, our children dont know he has it yet. <BR> We are trying to find the right words for them, and the right timing. Trying to preserve some of their childhood before symptoms become more obvious. <BR> We had a talk about the disease last night with them, about how it runs in their dads fam... Tue, 5 Apr 2016 11:00:18 EST The worst day ever. January 13th was the worst day ever. <BR> My husband tested positive for huntingtons disease. <BR> We have four kids at risk now to (50/50 chance for them) <BR> Anyway, if you dont get why thats basically a nightmare, look it up. <BR> Fatal with no cure. <BR> Horrific and even named by some as the worst/one of the worst diseases known. <BR> I am heartbroken. Fri, 15 Jan 2016 18:07:52 EST Life trials... fatal disease testing... new years goal... Sometime between now and the next three weeks, my husbands genetic test results will come back and we will know if he is positive for Huntingtons disease (hd) or negative. For those of you who do not know what HD is, its a horrific fatal disease that slowly takes away the ability to do anything until you eventually are in a wheel chair, being feed threw a tube, unable to talk, and die. Sounds exaggerated or insensitive, but that is what is it. Hereditary, rare and fatal. My husband is at 50%... Thu, 31 Dec 2015 16:11:25 EST Motivation and the stress/hopelessness Where do I even begin? <BR> I have let the stresses of my life take over. <BR> I can't seem to muster up the strength I need to fight for me and my body. <BR> I am turning 30 in a few weeks. I can't believe it. <BR> I think this is my turn, my time to focus on me. <BR> The stresses at home have been so hard. I have 4 boys all 8 and younger. The older two are having issues in school and I feel drained often. My husbands mother and brother are suffering from a fatal disease ( Huntington's dise... Mon, 16 Nov 2015 10:54:41 EST diet bet? anyone ever tried a diet bet and ended up being successful? <BR> I started one and it goes to October 6-7. <BR> I haven't been here much, and I am not where I wish I was. <BR> Trying this in hopes it gives me and extra push and motivation Wed, 9 Sep 2015 10:47:15 EST fell off the wagon I was doing so good, I was on here every single day for 41 days. I was counting most of my calories, trying to go to the gym when I could.. and it all just stopped. <BR> ugh. <BR> Why does this all have to be so hard? <BR> Well, I officially have gone two days without nursing my youngest. Which means, I don't need as much food, I am not burning as much food, and I don't have to make sure I am eating enough food. <BR> So, this is going to get tricky! <BR> I will probably have to cut even more ... Mon, 17 Aug 2015 10:32:56 EST Camping in Alaska - pics! Well, I don't think I will be losing weight this week...I probably could of eaten much better this week...but it sure was hard while camping! STILL going to make my goal of 180's by end of this month! <BR> I hope you enjoy these pictures! <BR> <img src=""> <BR> No makeup pic, with my hubby haha :) <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Pretty amazing fi... Mon, 10 Aug 2015 12:07:38 EST migraine-obesity Well, I remember having a migraine once as a teen, and it was horrific. I was so grateful to God that I did not ever have them, and I didn't for years after. <BR> I have been going up and down on the scale for the last 9 years, thanks to pregnancies. Each time I was pregnant I went from "healthy BMI" to "obese", by the time it I was about to pop. <BR> But, each time I did not stay "obese" long. Except this time. <BR> I have spent 2 years now of on and off obesity. <BR> Something that has neve... Wed, 5 Aug 2015 10:46:52 EST weigh in... <img src=""> <BR> one pound gone, for good. <BR> Today i weighed in at 194.4 <BR> SO, I am a little bit closer to getting out of the 190s. <BR> My goal is to be in the 180's this month. <BR> I am so sick of being in the 190's-200's. <BR> Next Tuesday I am hoping for 192-193 <BR> Hopefully I can keep this goal in mind all week this time! <BR> I am still doing my sugar detox, so that should help. <BR> It's not a col... Tue, 4 Aug 2015 10:53:37 EST grumpy Yikes, I have been so grumpy the last couple days! 'I haven't been getting enough sleep and yesterday I pretty much ate like crap, and tons of Sugary foods. <BR> SO, today I watched a documentary on Netflix called "Fed up" about obesity. <BR> I watched it with my children and we talked about making healthy choices. <BR> So, we ate healthy , eggs for breakfast , peas/corn, applesauce and cheese for lunch.. Just better choices. <BR> I personally decided to reduce my consumption of sugar and b... Tue, 4 Aug 2015 02:30:21 EST Tuesday weigh in... <img src=""> <BR> <BR> WELL, I weighed in today.. and I lost like half pound.. haha <BR> But, I am actually excited.. I did measurements as well and lost about a half inch off my waist and about an inch almost off each thigh. <BR> I have been lifting weights more often, working out more often and trying harder with my food. <BR> But, I realize now my body is just now getting a hang of it. I can tell a difference... Tue, 28 Jul 2015 10:58:24 EST birthday party choices.... We celebrated my oldest sons birthday this weekend. He is turning 8 tomorrow! <BR> It is sad, but exciting to see him grow into such an awesome kid. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> For his birthday he wanted to get hamburgers, his favorite. So my husband researched online about the best hamburger places in town. We found some local place, and the food was awesome! <BR> I tried really hard to make good choices this wee... Sat, 25 Jul 2015 23:12:05 EST Do you love YOURSELF? <img src=""> <BR> (I have nothing to wear. Nothing looks good on me. if only my stomach was flatter. maybe if i lost ten pounds I would feel better. I'm fat. ) <BR> <BR> I find myself saying the above statement pretty much daily. <BR> How heartbreaking. <BR> <BR> My goal for this week, is to look in the mirror and be kind to me. <BR> To stop the negativity and focus on the positive. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://... Wed, 22 Jul 2015 13:57:02 EST Yesterdays progress Yesterday I did really well with my food, still snacked a couple times where I shouldn't of, but... I was able t say "no" a few times, which is hard for me. I have issues with snacking and binge eating at times. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> But I feel great about my choices yesterday. <BR> ALSO, my whole body is sore! In the morning I did little weight workouts at home. I worked out my arms, abs and a few leg workouts.... Wed, 22 Jul 2015 11:37:21 EST weigh in... Well, I tried to avoid coming on here. I thought, well maybe I could just ignore that its Tuesday.. or maybe I can just say my scale broke, or for some reason I can't weigh in.. But, who would I be lying to, mostly myself. <BR> I once again lost no weight, and I realize this is going to be much harder than I was hoping. <BR> I look back at my most successful time for weight loss, right after my first son was born. <BR> I lost 50 pounds, I ran every single morning (3-6 miles) <BR> I ate no mo... Tue, 21 Jul 2015 10:43:04 EST Staying strong, pushing limits I know I have been posting a lot of blogs lately, but it has been a good thing. <BR> I am reminding myself as often as I can during the day... <BR> I AM WORTH IT <BR> I DESERVE HAPPINESS <BR> LOVE MYSELF ENOUGH TO HELP MYSELF <BR> I CAN AND WILL DO THIS <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I hope you all have a blessed day, and remember YOU are WORTH IT <BR> YOU DESERVE THIS <BR> LOVE YOURSELF <BR> YOU WILL DO THIS <BR> ... Wed, 15 Jul 2015 11:31:01 EST Tuesday weigh in It is Tuesday.. which means WEIGH IN TIME! <BR> DRUM ROLL.. <BR> I weigh... <BR> the same! <BR> <BR> HA. <BR> Okay, so serious for a moment now. When I first stepped on the scale and saw no change, I was sad/mad/frustrated. <BR> But then I remember my last week, how I ate like crap on the weekend, missed a few days of workout....and didn't really give my all. <BR> I also remembered how hard I tried, the weights I lifted, the muscleI hope to be gaining. <BR> I looked at myself in the mirror, ... Tue, 14 Jul 2015 11:41:13 EST Step back...again. Well, i started my week really good! I was working out like crazy, and eating less...way less! I even had 2 days where I couldn't lift my arms because I worked out so hard, another day I did 2 miles on the treadmill! <BR> Well, I slid a lot this weekend... pretty much ate what I wanted and didn't work out. <BR> My husband and I went to the movies, we ate like crap and a lot! Then, yesterday I went to my parents for the big Sunday dinner we have every Sunday after church... <BR> This is just n... Mon, 13 Jul 2015 12:25:47 EST Starting weight is in.... <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <BR> SO, I weighed myself today, Tuesday... The same day of the week I plan on weighing myself for now on. <BR> Last time I stopped on my journey was about a year ago and I weight 187. <BR> Today I weighed myself and I weighed 195. <BR> Bummed I allowed myself to get back in the 190's.... but ready to get back down in the 180's. <BR> I haven't felt this committed to weight loss in years...... Tue, 7 Jul 2015 12:09:13 EST Lower than low Part of the reason I cam back to sparkpeople, was actually a very sad situation for me. <BR> I have been on this rollercoaster of weight loss for pretty much my whole life. <BR> I have always been trying to get back to a"healthy" weight. I have always been fighting my stomach, it has been a war. <BR> I don't mind working out, in fact, I love it. <BR> I love feeling like I am pushing myself, I love feeling myself get strong. <BR> I also love food, and that is where the problem is. <BR> It is... Sun, 5 Jul 2015 22:22:00 EST starting over, again. <img src=""> <BR> I am posting this here, to make myself more accountable. <BR> I will be starting weekly weigh ins next tuesday. <BR> My goal is to lose 1-2 pounds weekly. <BR> I will be drinking 8 glasses of water daily. <BR> I will continue to eat around 1200-1600 calories a day, depending on physical activity and other things. <BR> I am so sick of being unhealthy and have about 50 pounds to lose... <BR> wish m... Thu, 2 Jul 2015 15:15:14 EST this totally just happened... Yeah!!! Two miles in 20 minutes :) :) :) :) <img src=""> Wed, 13 Aug 2014 21:50:57 EST proud of myself!!!! I made the goal to run 10 miles this week. So...monday morning I headed to the gym and ran 3 miles in 34 minutes, which was no easy task at being overweight and not running too often. So I walked for a little to cool down... Then I thought...hmm I think I could do more. So I ran/jogged a 4th mile at 11 minutes. I can't believe I did four miles in one day!!! Feeling pumped!! Only 6 more to do this week. Im thinking maybe 2or3 today. I would like to eventually get to 25 miles a week!!!! <img sr... Wed, 13 Aug 2014 08:47:54 EST This is beyond my control. Any advice? I feel helpless. Gosh, where do I even begin? My hope/faith in myself has gone. So sad to say, but I have lost that motivation. I am exhausted. It all started back in September when my husband deployed. It was beyond stressful doing everything by myself, with my 4 boys all 6 and under in -40 degree weather. It was hard. During which my appendix was removed as well. Little crazy things kept popping up, my kids were having a hard time emotionally and in school. <BR> Anyway, I was so grateful when he came home b... Wed, 28 May 2014 09:32:32 EST 2 week plan Trying out a two week, no cheat plan. My hope is that this will get me back into the swing of things and boost my motivation. I am hoping if I look at things day by day for 2 weeks, it won't be so over whelming. These two weeks I have decided to not eat after dinner, eat oatmeal and less sugary breakfast foods and stick to protein (shakeology) and veggies based dinners. I am trying to eat more fresh foods for snack, like an apple or salad. I also will be waking up to go to the gym every morn... Fri, 7 Mar 2014 17:51:32 EST My husband is HOME from deployment :) <img src=""> <img src="">This is the Blog posted by the photographer <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> It's wonderful to have him home again. Now time to try to focus on myself, not just our boys :) Fri, 28 Feb 2014 12:05:59 EST Lost Hope.. trying to find that motivation again Well I have 4 wonderful, healthy, gorgeous little boys. But, each of my pregnancies I am unable to workout due to preterm labor. I also eat like a crazy lady when pregnant. In short, I have gained around 60 pounds with each of my four boys. I am not one of those, gain the baby weight and it falls off kind of ladies. EACH time after having a baby I have had to fight to get that weight off, fight hard. Each time has been harder than the time before. First time, fell off as soon as I started try... Thu, 13 Feb 2014 07:01:27 EST This is not easy :( My husband has officially been deployed for a week now... It has been the hardest week ever! We have been apart before, 6 months while we were engaged. About 2 months for tech school, a month or 2 for basic and a couple months for school. BUT we have never had children while he has been gone. Now I am facing 5 months without him and with our 4 young boys, Noah 6, Ezra 4, Bobby 2, and Moses almost 5 months. I have had no time for myself, my kids have been throwing more tantrums, my 6 year old ... Sun, 6 Oct 2013 11:18:32 EST 30-40 pounds to go in 4-6 months I have around 4-6 months to lose as much weight as I can. I am hoping for 30-40, of course closer to 40 would be great. Trying to get fit while my hubby is deployed. I am trying for around 2 pounds a week!!! I feel really ready, trying to focus on my kids and health... hopefully it helps time pass and i can look amazing when he gets home. HEY SPARKPEOPLE I AM BACK AND READY TO KICK BUTT!!!! Sun, 29 Sep 2013 18:25:04 EST Time to start counting calories And my fight against food continues (haha). I am nursing my 10 week old and boy am I hungry!! I have been working out A LOT. But nothing is happening, I now realize I need to start counting calories. Going to start keeping better track of what I am eating, hopefully this helps!!! Wish me luck. Fri, 19 Jul 2013 09:01:37 EST 3 weeks of vacation, a new perspective. Well hear I am , back from almost 3 weeks of vacation! I of course didn't lose any weight... we ate like crap, lots of pizza, cheesecake, fudge.. you get the idea. LOL Only reason I didn't gain weight is because we also did a lot of hiking and active things while gone. Well anyway, I am back and ready to get back to my weight lose routine. Today as I started putting away my maternity clothes and going threw the things I own, I realized I have so much cute clothes that I never get to wear. It ... Wed, 3 Jul 2013 22:06:10 EST Tuesday weigh in Finally the scale has moved! Down 2 pounds this week. 197. Two big changes this week, not eating after 7 and drinking more water. Yeah me!!! :) Tue, 4 Jun 2013 07:36:34 EST Wow, this is going to be harder then I thought! :( Bummed... 2 weeks in a row with no weight loss, in fact I weigh the exact same. I honestly thought since I am nursing (which burn calories) I thought as long as I ate in moderation that weight would slowly start to come off. Apparently I am wrong... Moses is only 3 weeks old so no working out yet! It's not like I am being shallow, and trust me I am enjoying him so much,BUT I am currently technically obese, and I have a family reunion coming up in a few weeks. I just wanted to lose some weight... Tue, 28 May 2013 09:57:47 EST Keeping myself accountable! Motivation for YOU and ME <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> It's Tuesday, weigh in day and I am still at 199 pounds ( I wanted to get to 198) but instead of being sad about this, I am holding myself accountable. I am still making this post, because I know if I stick with it, every Tuesday no matter what the scale says, I will succeed. <BR> I am feeling strong, and motivated. I found some amazing quotes to share. <BR> <img src=" Tue, 21 May 2013 10:11:08 EST Alright, still gradually losing baby weight :) Baby boy will be 2 weeks on tuesday. <BR> When I weighed myself last while pregnant I was 40 weeks 4 days and 223 pounds. <BR> As of this morning I am 199 pounds <BR> That is a total of 24 pounds lost so far. <BR> I am still gradually losing the water weight/ blood weight among other things because I was 202 a few days ago, <BR> I am still eating lost of food, only I am loading up on more healthy choices. ( I am breastfeeding) <BR> Yesterday I bought some 2 pound weights for my arms, for ve... Sat, 18 May 2013 09:16:06 EST Weight loss journey begins, AGAIN Well my 4th and last baby boy is now 8 days old. I am enjoying sweet baby boy, and have been sooo busy! I would like to start going on walks again soon. I weighed 223 at my last pregnant appointment with him, 40 weeks apt. But didn't have him until 40 weeks and 4 days. <BR> That was a total weight gain from pregnancy of 58 pounds... and that for me is sadly normal <BR> gained 50 with first <BR> 60 with second <BR> 62 with third <BR> and 58 with fourth <BR> haha <BR> Oh well, we wanted 4 ki... Thu, 16 May 2013 07:57:41 EST he is here!!!! Well went 4 days past my due date. Doctor strongly recommended indusing me and didn't want me to go past 41 weeks. So I finally agreed, and thank God I did what doc and I felt was best and stopped listening to others. Sweet baby boy already had his first bowel movement in me, he could have been one sick baby, but thankfully he didn't get the poop in his systom. Went in yesterday the 7th at 7 in the morning they started potocin at 805 and he was born at 959 (told ya my labors are fast) too fas... Wed, 8 May 2013 11:43:57 EST decided not to get induced.... Doctor offered to induce me today, 5 days before my due date. I have extremely fast labors and live a good distance from the hospital... But I changed my mind, and canceled this morning. I would have literally been at the hospital right now in labor, maybe even about to hold my baby.. it would be so wonderful to see his face. <BR> BUT, I decided that since this is probably my last baby, I want to enjoy the excitement of him coming on his own. I am nervous, hopefully it's soon and not in the m... Sun, 28 Apr 2013 11:44:16 EST Due date is only 9 days away.... Well here I am, very much pregnant :) Due date is only 9 days away, however doctor offered to induce me on Sunday (only 4 days from now YIKES). My labors are very fast and we live 30-40 minutes from the hospital, that with the combination of having three kids we would have to get ready and out the door among other things, makes the offer very tempting! Part of me wants to wait to see when little guy wants to come, might be before than anyway :) Either way, I am so excited to know that the end... Wed, 24 Apr 2013 15:05:45 EST Oh the excitement! I cannot wait :) On Friday I will be 37 weeks pregnant! That means almost just 3 weeks until my due date. I have been sick the last few days, my body is aching, I can't sleep and I feel like I could punch someone in the head if they say something about how big I am. <BR> HAHA yeah! It's getting to the end now :) I will be checked tomorrow for dilation, although I know that means nothing. haha <BR> Just praying for a safe delivery and recovery for baby and I. <BR> Hoping baby doesn't want to come after his du... Wed, 10 Apr 2013 11:02:23 EST Well here I am.... ugh! Wow, I feel miserable haha. <em>15</em> I know, third trimester and its to be expected. Can't help but think how grateful I am that this is our last....although I know that mindset will change after our baby arrives! <BR> Weight gain has been... a lot. LOL <BR> Which stinks, but honestly is not surprising considering my history on the matter. <BR> I gained 50 with my first (who was born a month early) got up t0 205 <BR> 60 with my second, Got up to almost 210 <BR> and almost 65 with my thi... Mon, 11 Mar 2013 09:21:31 EST I can't wait to focus on me- exciting to almost be in 3rd trimester! Well in short I have been pregnant or breastfeeding for 6 years now. <BR> I have three sons <BR> Noah 5 <BR> Ezra 3 <BR> and Bobby (almost 2) <BR> and am expecting our 4th and probably last baby boy! <BR> I can't wait to meet this little guy. <BR> I will be 28 weeks on Friday and I finally feel myself getting closer to the end. <BR> I will be nursing this baby for the first 12-15 months of his life as long as everything goes well. I have nursed all my babies for around this amount of time. <B... Tue, 5 Feb 2013 10:02:18 EST Update on baby me and weight... yikes! Well I am 25 weeks and 3 days pregnant and I have gained 22 pounds so far .. :( <BR> I started at 165 <BR> I am now 187 <BR> <BR> I have not been doing as well as I hoped.. but I have good news as well. <BR> Because of my history of pre-term labor I was unable to be active, until now. <BR> My cervix was checked today and it is still 3.3 cm long. so I go the okay to start walking a few days a week. <BR> I really wanted to make it out of the "danger zone" and make sure I wasn't dilating. <BR>... Mon, 21 Jan 2013 21:53:42 EST My baby is a....!!! <BR> ANOTHER BOY!! <BR> haha I knew it :) <BR> Can't believe I am going to be a mom of four little guys. <BR> I am so excited. I love my boys so much, they have so much fun together. I can't wait to see this little guy. <BR> I thought I would be sad because I have always wanted to have a daughter (and this baby is probably our last) <BR> But I am not sad at all, I am so happy that I cried a few times. <BR> haha :) He looks so healthy and growing so well and was literally jumping around in th... Thu, 13 Dec 2012 09:30:03 EST 17 weeks pregnant update :) Everything is going well so far. <BR> At my last appointment I weighed in at 172 pounds. Every single time I am pregnant I gain way too much weight and easily get up to the 200's. I got up to 205 with my first and a little over that with my second and with my third I got up to 220. <BR> I am not aloud to be active while pregnant, so this time around I am going to try really hard to watch what I eat. I hope to not weigh more than 195-200 this time around. <BR> I need to be very careful beca... Tue, 27 Nov 2012 09:09:21 EST I am PREGNANT! Just wanted to let you all know that I am expecting baby #4 and my due date is May 3rd. All of my babies have been early, so I am thinking maybe an end of April baby?! I guess we will see! I am 13 weeks today and already had my first apt last week. Everything is measuring well, although I already look extremely pregnant... I think because this is my 4th kid. Babies heart was 169 and my next apt is Nov 20 and in December we will be finding out the sex! I am so happy, and grateful to God for an... Fri, 26 Oct 2012 09:54:38 EST Just an update :) So I have been stuck at around 160 for months now, but I don't mind too much. I am not exactly where I want to be, but I have come so far! My husband and I have been trying for a few months for baby #4, so I haven't been as motivated as before. Hopefully we get pregnant soon, this next time around I am going to be very careful with my weight gain because I am not aloud to be active while pregnant. (history of pre term labors). <BR> Anyway my oldest starts kindergarten this year, so sad! I... Wed, 8 Aug 2012 09:57:01 EST Soar into Shape- MY FINAL weigh in!!!! &#8206;9 weeks ago I started Soar into Shape with a weight loss goal of 13 pounds. I have lost 12.5, not bad! I also lost 5 inches on my waist! :) Only a few pounds away from pre-pregnancy weight with Bobby, and 15 away from my weight before my other two kids... feels so good to finally see a goal/weight that I know is reachable and no longer just a dream or a memory. <BR> <BR> Alright My final weigh in results are in :) <BR> Starting weight 174.8 <BR> Goal weight 161.8 <BR> Finish weight 16... Thu, 26 Apr 2012 09:48:36 EST