SEAGLASS1215's SparkPeople Blog SEAGLASS1215's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Goals for Retreat Weekend When I write them down, goals have a way of becoming more ingrained in my head and I'm more likely to achieve them: <BR> <BR> 1. Avoid the homemade goodies table! I'm bringing some crackers and popcorn type snacks to share and I have a private stash of sugar free treats for just me. Must keep in mind I have already bought a book as a reward and I would hate to not earn the right to read it! <BR> <BR> 2. Walk every day - the fall foliage up north is peaking right now, the weather is suppos... Wed, 18 Oct 2017 17:38:37 EST Interview Update I thought the interview went really well...unless the two people I met with are actresses, they seemed to like my experience and sounded encouraging. I thought the job itself sounded very interesting and exactly what I am looking for. Now the hard part - waiting to see if HR emails me to ask for a list of references. I must've checked my email 5 times yesterday -- today I'll probably do the same. Hopefully they reach out today because tomorrow I am leaving for the quilt retreat (the people I... Wed, 18 Oct 2017 07:43:53 EST Interview Coming Up I have tried to review potential interview questions and come up with responses but I'm afraid it will come out rehearsed if I practice too much. I'd rather focus on what they actually ask me and form an answer on the spot. Even if it comes off less than perfect, I can always tell them the truth, that I didn't want to sound stiff and unnatural like I was reciting answers from a list or something. What I have been doing is having conversations out loud with an "invisible listener", telling t... Mon, 16 Oct 2017 07:38:51 EST Weigh In and Other stuff My weight stayed exactly the same this week -- i'm sure it would have gone done had I not eaten out (shrimp scampi swimming in buttery sauce), had some Chinese food the night before, got a little heavy handed with the bread this week...I'm still staying away from the junk sugar and trying to move more but still finding reasons to not go to the gym. I'm okay once there and I do feel good after exercising -- not sure why I have to talk myself into it and then argue with myself about it. <BR> <... Sun, 15 Oct 2017 05:41:03 EST NSV I managed to piece together an outfit for my interview with clothing already in my closet...and I was able to celebrate a NSV in the process! When I was still working, I was wearing size 2X dress pants at my highest weight. In my closet I found a pair of beige dress pants, size 18W, and they fit perfectly, not even snug!! I still have a long way to go in the weight loss game but according to my bathroom scale I have lost close to 25 lbs since my heaviest weight back in the spring. Official ... Fri, 13 Oct 2017 06:39:13 EST Job Fair Update I applied for the accounts receivable position at the hospital online yesterday morning after checking in here on Spark...last night I checked my email just because I felt like doing something other than my homework...and there was an email from the hospital, confirming they received my application, and if I was pre-qualified for the position based on the application, my resume would be further reviewed and I might get a call within 2 - 3 weeks. <BR> <BR> However, there was another email sen... Thu, 12 Oct 2017 07:37:53 EST Chair, Job Fair, Hair -- it rhymes! Found a chair in a print fabric that I ordinarily would have not even considered but wouldn't you know, it is the perfect fit for my height/short legs! The odds of me finding anything were pretty slim and after bringing this chair home and rearranging a couch and table, it actually does not look that bad (everything else is pretty plain and neutral in the room so this flowery retro-60's looking thing gives the room some life). <BR> <BR> Went to the job fair and the woman I spoke with wants m... Wed, 11 Oct 2017 06:20:51 EST Chair Shopping = A Workout Okay this is the oddest workout ever...walking through three furniture stores gave me over 8,000 steps on my FitBit. Not only that, my abs and thighs got a workout, too - I think all that sitting and getting up to test the chairs was similar to doing crunches and squats. At least some good came out of it, I was unable to find a chair that fit me just right (call me Goldilocks!). I need something that keeps me upright (not slouched at all) so I can sew, but reclines if I want to snooze or wat... Tue, 10 Oct 2017 06:33:07 EST Chairs and Making a Plan Debating about whether we should get recliner chairs for our living room and replace/rearrange the couches we have now. The room is long and narrow, I know the chairs will not "look" right no matter where we put them because of the TV being mounted over the fireplace -- but at our age, sitting comfortably is becoming a major priority and I'd like to have a chair that fits me (I'm short) and I know DH would like something that suits him as well (he's 6 feet tall)...our couches have never been ... Mon, 9 Oct 2017 07:02:17 EST Another Late Night Another late night --- on Fridays and Saturdays we watch Live PD outside by the camper (we have quite a set up: Tent/garage that houses the TV, a camper that doesn't move anymore but is basically a bar on wheels, a fire pit, chairs, etc. The show is on from 9PM until midnight and we really like sitting outside to watch it - my son and his GF came over too. DH and the kids had a few drinks, I stuck to my ice water, no snacks! But anyway, this made for the second night in a row that I was in ... Sun, 8 Oct 2017 08:07:16 EST Cake - Results from the Party Quick update on DD's birthday last night...not only did I present the cake and light the candles, I ended up cutting it and dishing it out onto plates. Maybe that was what helped me, I got sick of looking at it and smelling the sugar! There was strawberry cream on the inside, that was tempting, but the frosting and cake itself just seemed overwhelmingly sweet and unappealing. I almost licked my fingers after serving it but caught myself and did not even have one taste. Did I really just say... Sat, 7 Oct 2017 08:13:26 EST Reward Purchased Yesterday I wrote as part of my plan to avoid the snack table at the retreat that I would give myself stars each time I successfully avoided the sweets. Those stars would translate to cash value with which I could buy myself something. Well - yesterday I was out doing errands and came across the new book by Dan Brown called "Origin" which I know I would like to read someday. I rarely buy myself new books, I usually get them from the library or used book store because they can be so expensive.... Fri, 6 Oct 2017 07:24:10 EST Hair / NSV / Plan for Retreat I asked several women at my guild meeting yesterday what they thought about coloring my hair and the consensus was "no way!" -- so many of them kept complimenting my hair, one woman even asked if she could touch it, and they all agreed that if I focus on clothes, make-up, and a confident attitude no one will think I look old. My biggest fear is that as this is "post-chemo" hair, it might react differently to woman I know who has also gone thru chemo and radiation has dyed hers and i... Thu, 5 Oct 2017 08:09:28 EST Opinions/ Advice needed -- help! I need your advice, please!! <BR> <BR> There is going to be a job fair at one of our local hospitals - they are hiring for ALL positions so I registered to attend and sent in my updated resume. The event is next Tuesday. <BR> <BR> Question: Do I color my hair before I go? <BR> <BR> My hair is growing back very curly but also very white -- the curls are loose but the color, or lack of it, makes me feel like I look older than I am. According to several hair stylists, this "white color" is q... Wed, 4 Oct 2017 08:47:33 EST Two Weeks!! Plan for B-day party Two weeks junk free!! Never would have thought I could make it this far...set a goal of three days and here I am 14 days later, not suffering, having very few cravings which are not killing me, feeling pretty good overall. Still dealing with some achy muscles, I think this is a side effect of my meds. <BR> <BR> Friday night will be a challenge - DD's birthday, there will be lots of people and cake! - but I have a plan...light the candles, sing, then ask DH and others to cut the cake and ... Tue, 3 Oct 2017 07:47:40 EST Day 13 - Still "Junk Sugar" Free I cannot believe it has been almost two full weeks that I have not had candy, or cookies or anything with "junk" sugar...just eating fruit and some added sugar in a bit of bread or pasta sauce but I've been careful to read labels and not have certain things if it looks like there is too much added sugar in them. My brain is starting to crave the hard candy more than before, I swear it helps me study and focus better to have something to suck on...I'll try sugar free gum, but I'm also open to ... Mon, 2 Oct 2017 07:36:32 EST Day 12 - NSV in More Ways than One My DD went to a county fair yesterday...normally we all like to go but I wasn't feeling it this year, just not in the mood for the crowds and temptations of fried dough, candy apples, etc. But DH kept telling DD that she simply HAD to have a giant doughnut when she went, he talked about it like it was the greatest thing in the world (it's his favorite fair food). She is watching her weight and food choices and almost got in an argument about it but went to the fair without making a fuss. She... Sun, 1 Oct 2017 06:20:08 EST Day 11 - ER Visit with DH So DH sticks his hand in a drawer and slices his finger open last night around 10:00 PM. The bleeding wouldn't stop, we head to the ER...there are two hospitals located within a mile of each other and we figure we'll see if one is very busy and if so, we'll go to the other one. Well, about 100 yards from the door to the first hospital was a decent car crash, police and fire trucks and people all around - we figure they will be heading to the closest hospital (which was already packed when we ... Sat, 30 Sep 2017 06:44:58 EST Day 10 - Weigh In today I am NOT looking forward to weighing in today - although it has been over a week "sugar free" I had a bit of a binge yesterday...lots of processed carbs that had little to no added sugar (yes they exist). I'm hoping they do not show up at the scale but if they do, it will be a lesson learned. <BR> <BR> So why the binge? I was buried in my coding books, trying to get through the 150 question pre-test and this is very time consuming. I love it, though, it's like being a detective looking up c... Fri, 29 Sep 2017 07:19:43 EST Day 9 - Strategies Still doing well with no sugar...feels like I should be complaining about cravings or something but overall, it's really not super hard, at least not yet. I haven't been faced with a real temptation, however - like homemade chocolate chip cookies warm from the oven. But - we'll see what happens if/when such a challenge arises. <BR> <BR> In talking with the therapist, she challenged me to keep a food log until our next session (i've been slacking on that since giving up sugar). So I kept tra... Thu, 28 Sep 2017 06:44:23 EST Day 8 - Foot Issues Again? Can't wait to tell my therapist that I have been sugar free for over a week now. Cravings have really subsided, I seem to get more "habit" cravings than actual sugar, I really like to have mints or hard candy when I am studying and so that's been a bit difficult but I'm dealing with it okay. <BR> <BR> Thinking I should call my foot doctor but may need to see primary first. For the past several months, I've had some pain in the back of my heel/ankle when I flex my foot - st... Wed, 27 Sep 2017 07:13:33 EST Day 7 - Sweet Success! And I'm Certified! An entire week of no added sugar or junk food...does not seem possible! But here I am, feeling rather proud of myself as I was hoping to make it for only 3 days and here I am at the one week I am facing brunch with a former co-worker at a place that has incredible crepes and sweet pastries but I will see if they have some kind of veggie wrap or something instead. <BR> <BR> Yesterday was my Medical Billing Final Exam and I passed with a 94 out of now I am officially cert... Tue, 26 Sep 2017 08:07:27 EST Day 6 - Another Day Down Made it thru another day without junk sugar but I think I may have had a bit too much bread with butter...I had slept badly the night before (which always leads to cravings) and was trying to study for my final exam (talk about dry reading!) and also had company over for the football game. For whatever reason, french bread with butter was VERY appealing...but I did not have the candy I was craving, I did not go out for ice cream after the football game when everyone else did, I did not have a... Mon, 25 Sep 2017 07:21:28 EST Day 5, Remembering Dad Made it thru another day so that is 5 days sugar free-ish. I say "ish" because there are some very small amounts of added sugars that I I have allowed myself to have as they are in foods that I feel confident are not going to trigger cravings. Still no candy or sweets. It is getting easier. And even though I am not having strong cravings, my mind is starting to question if I really want to go sugar free (very similar to when I quit smoking...I kind of stopped without intending to make that ... Sun, 24 Sep 2017 06:56:49 EST Four Days, Six Weeks, Ten Pounds Day 4 of no sugar went well...I tracked all my food in Spark to see what my overall sugar intake was and it came up at 20g which was probably 95% from fruit so I am happy with that. <BR> <BR> Six Weeks since joining Weight Watchers...and the result is 10 lbs lost!!! <BR> <em>590</em> <BR> Still have a long way to go but I am excited as overall I am down almost 20 lbs since my last weigh in after chemo/radiation...when I was living on Klondike bars! Sat, 23 Sep 2017 08:57:56 EST Day 3 - No Sugar Well I made it for the three days that I was hoping sugar for three days and it was not as awful as I thought it would be. I did have dreams last night of devouring brownies and woke up feeling guilty until I realized it was just a dream, LOL. <BR> <BR> I am going to continue to avoid sugar. I am reading a book called "Zero Sugar Diet" that really explains how bad sugar can be for us, especially in the amounts we normally have on top of the hidden sugars we don't even realize we are... Fri, 22 Sep 2017 07:14:23 EST No Sugar - Day 2 Grocery shopping was interesting yesterday - I was pretty impressed as I watched my items move along the conveyor belt: no cookies, no candy, lots of fruit and veggies, meat and fish...and I had been to the gym just beforehand so that was another NSV. <BR> <BR> I also did my intake at the YMCA for the LiveStrong program they offer cancer patients. It starts on October 3, meets twice a week for 12 weeks, and during those 12 weeks I have full (free!) access to all the YMCA facilities, classes,... Thu, 21 Sep 2017 05:49:06 EST No Sugar - Day One Well I made it through the first day...cravings came on strong a few times, like when I was doing homework and wanted to suck on hard candy and mints. I also noticed that I had stronger cravings when I wasn't actively engaged in some activity, like when I was in between things. By the end of the day I felt a headache coming on (withdrawal?) and overall had been feeling a bit sluggish -- no sugary energy I suppose. I have a busier day ahead today so that may help get me through the cravings... Wed, 20 Sep 2017 08:09:30 EST Struggling and Sugar I've been struggling a bit these past few weeks. Still losing weight but just barely, that "honeymoon" phase of tracking and being diligent is wearing off. I've also been having mini binges, my sugar cravings are increasing (leading to those mini binges) and I'm finding it harder to avoid the sweets, making poor decisions and choices that lead me to the slippery slope of excuses, denial, and regret. I've also tried eating very mindfully with no distractions and this is so much harder than I t... Tue, 19 Sep 2017 07:46:25 EST Binge and Self Compassion Yesterday was a struggle to stay on plan...a struggle that I lost by dinner time. Not sure what was going on, there was no stress, I'd spent most of the day quilting but I could not turn off the "gotta-eat-now" hormones. At least I ate healthy stuff, I wanted the York Peppermint Patties that I stashed in the freezer months ago but I did not cave in and have any of those...but I did overeat all the same and unfortunately, I fell off the tracking wagon I am clueless as to where... Wed, 13 Sep 2017 07:44:44 EST Scale Victory and Quilting Update Weigh in on Friday was another success - lost another 1.4 lbs, down over 8 lbs now total, very excited! The best part is I have not felt deprived, I've "cheated" a little bit here and there or had to guesstimate points for certain foods, even had a brief binge on pretzel sticks that I was able to stop in it's even without being perfect, I am still losing and this is very motivating. <BR> <BR> Our guild's quilt show is this week, I have entered my butterfly wall hanging in the sh... Sun, 10 Sep 2017 07:35:45 EST WWIII and Old Home Movies War has once again consumed the household and although things are all quiet on the front right now, there is the underlying tension that makes one wonder just when the next battle will erupt. I am proud of my own actions, however; without coming between the two sides, I was able to understand where each was coming from and verbally expressed that while both parties felt justified in their anger, neither one was totally to blame nor totally right in their thinking. I don't know if things will ... Thu, 7 Sep 2017 07:48:10 EST Family Updates DH had some day surgery yesterday, all went well, hoping he is not in too much pain today after the numbing stuff has worn off. <BR> DS#2 is thinking of moving the wedding to late September of next year, leaving me a few less weeks to get in shape! Just what is he thinking?!? LOL <BR> DD is painting her room (no help requested) - fingers crossed it looks okay when complete and that DH doesn't try to correct any mistakes. She has also switched to working a per diem shift as the 11 -7 overnight... Fri, 1 Sep 2017 07:41:15 EST The Wake and Afterward... No one should have to bury a child...I have never witnessed such an outpouring of grief, his mother was absolutely shattered, his sister heartbroken beyond any type of consolation. Even the step father, who didn't like the kid, was visibly upset. The biological father was stoic, no emotion - actually that whole side of the family was rather dry eyed in comparison. It might have to do with their religious beliefs but I got the impression that they felt this kid's overdose gave them one less b... Sun, 27 Aug 2017 07:53:47 EST Weigh In and Planning Ahead Down another 1.4 per the official weigh in so in the past two weeks of doing WW, I have lost a total of 5.4 pounds...not a bad start at all, I'm taking a different approach this time in my head regarding the tracking and actually paying attention to portion sizes, if I have to guess (like when eating out) I estimate the points on the higher side, the only thing I do not track is the half-and-half in my coffee...and maybe someday I will have to but right now, everything else gets added to my d... Sat, 26 Aug 2017 09:07:57 EST Non-Scale Victories this Week 1. I was doing errands and feeling food places surrounded me. Instead, I went into the grocery store, bought two chicken skewers and a nectarine - guilt-free lunch! <BR> <BR> 2. Shopping with my friend at Walmart, we were getting hungry and our normal routine would be to stop at Friendly's for ice cream...but we wanted to "be good" so we headed to the produce section of the store and each bought a ready made packet containing carrots, cheese, and almonds and ate them in the car... Fri, 25 Aug 2017 08:01:02 EST What a Weekend! We went to Maine to meet my son's GF's family and be there when he proposed - she said YES! The ring fit perfectly (that was a relief!) and of course, I could not stop the tears from leaking out as hugs were shared all around. Her family was wonderful, very nice people with a house on the lake and a very (did I say VERY?) well stocked bar. I am not a big drinker but everyone else apparently was but no one got out of line or obnoxious or anything, it was a lot of fun. The day included peeling... Mon, 21 Aug 2017 07:05:49 EST Home Life Updates Tomorrow we head to Maine to be there when my DS proposes to his GF...I cannot believe my little boy is so grown up to be at this stage in his life! I'm sure I'll be a mess crying with tears of happiness and also some bittersweet ears, remembering when he was a baby and wondering where those years went, why they passed so quickly, why didn't I appreciate them more back then...(sniff, sob, I'm starting already!) <BR> <BR> DD is working the night shift, it has it's good moments and it's roughe... Fri, 18 Aug 2017 07:04:01 EST Medication Update Bone Density Results - apparently I have a condition called Osteopenia which is not as bad as Osteoporosis but I need to be on medication for it so it doesn't progress any further. Doctor is prescribing Fosamax once a week. I opted for this rather than the every 6 month IV injection of something that starts with a "Z" because that one is more likely to cause tooth issues and my teeth are not very strong to begin with. Will continue to take calcium and Vitamin D and have blood work in 30 days ... Mon, 14 Aug 2017 16:23:18 EST WW & Gym I've managed to stay on track using the WW app for tracking my's only been two days but to me it feels like an accomplishment. Their website has been redone and is more user friendly. They even have newbies schedule a free 1:1 call with one of their coaches to help you get call is set for tomorrow morning. In addition, their website offers 24/7 chat with an expert (via typing back and forth) when you have questions or need a little boost of motivation or whatever. I ... Sun, 13 Aug 2017 07:21:19 EST Therapist Update & WW Had another great visit with my therapist who said I have made remarkable strides - the book she recommended has certainly helped - and now that I am in a very good place in terms of my self esteem, control issues, need-to-be-perfect and right all the time, etc., she feels I am ready to start working on my weight issues and relationship with food to a greater extent. She advised that it might be time to consider rejoining Weight Watchers as the program does not make any food off limits and ha... Fri, 11 Aug 2017 07:01:27 EST Eye-Opener Had a real eye-opener of a session with my therapist yesterday. I was once again talking about another argument with my DD and the therapist pointed out that although my daughter is pushing my buttons, she (DD) is right when she says I am upset or angry - even though my words are saying "No, I'm Not Upset"...there is a tone, an eye-roll, a tenseness about me that indicates anger, frustration, annoyance but I cannot admit to these feelings and spend my time trying to justify why my position is... Fri, 4 Aug 2017 06:09:33 EST Busy Month Coming Up Here it is, August 1st, and I've got a busy month ahead. Seems like there is something going on every weekend. This coming Sunday is "Sharknado 5" -- stupid sci-fi movie but it has become a tradition that we have a Sharknado party here. A bunch of people come over with food and drinks, we sit outside and watch this ridiculous movie on a 46" flat screen TV. Of course, movies 1,2, 3, and 4 are playing all day long leading up to the newest one so it kind of becomes an all day event. <BR> <BR> T... Tue, 1 Aug 2017 06:46:09 EST Gym, Food, Etc. I went to the gym on Friday although I was not very motivated to be there...I promised myself 10 minutes on the treadmill, that would be it. Well, I plugged in my headphones and the channel I wanted wasn't working with the audio so as I started walking, I switched to another TV that was showing one of those Lifetime movies...I got totally sucked in and ended up walking for almost 30 minutes! At that point I was ready to tackle a few of the weight machines as well. I really want to be consist... Sun, 30 Jul 2017 06:56:53 EST Weekly Update of Various Stuff My DH and I are celebrating our 33rd wedding anniversary today...actually we are not really celebrating, we are helping DS get his new house ready to move into within the next week which means fixing some pipes, electrical sockets, and lots of cleaning. <BR> <BR> DD started her job and likes it, although getting used to the night shift is challenging - she needs to be patient and get herself on a set routine of when to sleep and when to stay awake. <BR> <BR> I took my first medical billin... Fri, 28 Jul 2017 06:57:10 EST Love This <img src=""> Wed, 26 Jul 2017 07:10:24 EST Today / Gym Update Busy day ahead - starting with some creative attempts to make magnets to sell at our quilt show in September. I saw them on Pinterest, they seemed easy, but I'm not sure if I got the right glue. Then I need to return my book to the library and go to the cancer doctor's assistant today for follow-up. I think this is like an "end-of-treatment" visit to see how I am doing and what I can expect in terms of future appointments, tests, etc. Following that I will be meeting my son and others at his ... Tue, 25 Jul 2017 05:29:31 EST Home Alone!! I am home alone....and loving it! DD started her orientation for her job this morning, DH went to his office, DS is off to work...and it's just me and the pets and so quiet, no pressure, I can get very used to this! Tomorrow will be more of the same and then DD will start working the night shift, 11 - 7, so most of the time that she is in the house with me will be spent with her sleeping -- so we are less likely to get in each other's hair, less chance of arguing. DS and his GF close on their... Mon, 24 Jul 2017 09:49:01 EST Tooth is out The tooth is out, a bit sore today but not as awful as it could have been - no stitches needed and thankfully he knocked me out so I didn't have to be aware of anything. I can't drive until later on today thanks to the general anesthesia and also I'm taking heavy duty ibuprofen which makes me sleepy so I think I am going to work on some quilt projects (placemats and boutique items for our guild show) and perhaps get started on my homework. Hoping this heat wave breaks at some point, I really ... Sat, 22 Jul 2017 06:36:29 EST Gym, Therapist, Tooth, Class I went to the gym yesterday and completed 23.5 minutes on the treadmill along with doing all the weight machines the trainer suggested I use. Took a shower (yes, I had flip flops for that!) and got in the car feeling pretty empowered. I didn't exactly enjoy the exercise but I did like how I felt afterwards. I also had some almonds and an apple with me so there was no reason to stop and grab anything unhealthy from Panera or Dunkin Donuts. <BR> <BR> Following the workout I met with my therap... Fri, 21 Jul 2017 05:22:04 EST