SEAGLASS1215's SparkPeople Blog SEAGLASS1215's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Whole30 Update So aside from two cups of coffee in the morning with a splash of half and half, I am sticking to this concept of clean eating. I was going to wean myself off the coffee but it just worked out that I stopped having any after my two cups in the morning. <BR> <BR> I do have some ranch dressing with my veggies at lunch. <BR> <BR> I still chew too much bubble gum - habit, stress, must work on this. <BR> <BR> I don't miss candy and cookies so much as I do pretzels - that salty crunch is a grea... Wed, 24 Jun 2015 04:50:32 EST Whole30 A co-worker told me about this concept, where you eat foods pretty much like on the Paleo diet for 30 days - good quality protein, lots of veggies, fruit, good fats....and that's about it. No dairy, no grains, no legumes, and obviously no processed junk. <BR> <BR> I want to do this...and yet I am balking at the idea of giving up - of all things - cream in my coffee. I think I can give up sugar without too much heartache because I know it is doing me no good. I can give up bread and pasta, wh... Mon, 22 Jun 2015 05:39:36 EST Researching the Diagnosis Yesterday I did really well eating healthy food until after dinner...then I cracked and had a sugar binge (not as bad as it could have been but still, I wasn't happy about it). I think the reason is due to the book I am reading about bipolar teens, as my DD was recently diagnosed as being on the bipolar spectrum and the symptoms I'm reading about really seem to fit her and the difficulties we've been having. I think the reality of the situation and the stress of it all just made it that much ... Sun, 21 Jun 2015 05:50:17 EST More Travel, Work Changes Another trip out west is in the works - they wanted me to go soon, I convinced them to wait a bit as training the new hires is more important for me to be there a few weeks after they are settled into their new roles - they'll have more questions and be ready to learn the more complicated things where having me right there will be more beneficial. <BR> <BR> I learned somethings the first time I traveled...I would rather have more time between flights to catch a healthy meal and do some walki... Tue, 16 Jun 2015 04:43:12 EST Just a Vent - Bad Mood Sometimes I feel very negative in terms of what is going on around me - antisocial maybe, I don't know...neighbor's kid graduated, we are invited to the party - I don't want to go. Niece also graduated - that party is tomorrow, have to go because it's family but I don't want to. I am not a party go-er, I don't like to drink and socialize and mingle and make small talk - I'd rather be home resting after a stressful week, maybe read a bit or work on my latest quilt project...I feel like it's ma... Sat, 13 Jun 2015 16:36:08 EST Yep - I ate the whole thing... Remember that old commercial that said something like: "I can't believe I ate the whole thing"...well, that was me yesterday. Very reluctantly I tracked what I can remember eating (I may have omitted something) and came to a total of 3010 calories for the day...yes that's right over 3000...lunch was the majority as we had a cook out at work....topping off dinner (bowl of popcorn - real nutritious) with a Klondike bar was probably not the greatest choice either (duh! ya think?!) <BR> <BR> The... Wed, 10 Jun 2015 05:07:04 EST Jelly Beans.... ....are evil. <BR> <BR> They are addictive, sickeningly sweet colorful orbs of pure evil... <BR> <BR> I went on a binge and devoured about 50 of those little sugar bombs. Today my muscles joints feel so achy, like I tried to run a marathon; my head feels like it's stuffed with cotton; I can't wake up; my stomach hurts. <BR> <BR> Too. Much. Sugar. <BR> <BR> I want to say "Never again!" but I've learned to never say never. So I'll say this: Not planning to repeat yesterday's behavior - ever... Mon, 8 Jun 2015 04:56:44 EST Quitting Weight Watchers I came the the realization yesterday at my meeting that after being a WW member since November and only having lost 2 lbs (I go up and down each week) that the $$ spent is simply not worth it as they are not teaching me anything I don't already know. I am paid through July 15 so I will continue to go until then but my tracking is going to be done here on Spark (I did that yesterday and it's not much different than the WW site (which I am not a fan of either, their groups and things are hard ... Sun, 7 Jun 2015 05:11:18 EST My Week - Lightbulb Moments My week -- I started off well but due some unforeseen family stress I stopped focusing on me and instead focused on others... <BR> <BR> I was doing pretty well with tracking (my goal) and I think because I made some unhealthy choices while I was in the middle of the crises I decided it would throw me way off course if I admitted (wrote down) the unhealthy choices I was making. <em>3</em> Light bulb moment! I am okay with tracking when I'm doing good but hate to admit mistakes so I slack o... Sat, 6 Jun 2015 07:51:11 EST I started a Spark Team I created a Spark Team called: Healthy Habit Challenge - 3 months at a Time. The idea behind it is that the team will only exist for three months (unless it is a success, then I'll continue it for another 3 months) with the purpose being to focus on one goal and a healthy habit that you want to work on and change. Mine happens to be tracking (you will know by previous blogs that this is my hardest habit to stick to). <BR> <BR> I've started posting a few things on the team page (I'm my own be... Wed, 27 May 2015 05:00:26 EST Spark Teams.... So I was scrolling through the myriad of Spark Teams that are out there and it got me thinking....most of them have a daily chat, a 'post an emoticon' thread, a A-Z game thing...I don't know, it just seems like they are all more or less the same. Maybe it's me, I just don't find those types of things very supportive. I had a hard time finding a team that I felt I can really relate to....I admit, some of this is my own doing, I'm not big on posting things "out there" for anyone to make comment... Sun, 24 May 2015 08:57:37 EST Overtired Mind making a Food Plan the beginnings of my plan...random ramblings, jet lag setting in... <BR> <BR> - reduce processed foods....going cold turkey on this is sure to backfire for me <BR> - junk "food" is not food...better to eat some nuts and a piece of real cheese than half a bag of Doritos <BR> - three real meals (sit down) and two snack (not treats, but snacks - there is a difference) daily <BR> - mindful eating - no distractions <BR> - track my food -- will need to determine if sticking with WW is the way ... Fri, 22 May 2015 18:52:21 EST Finally Home Had a great time in NM even though most of it was business trip, I got to explore a bit, do a little shopping - it's good to be home but I think - no, I know - I have finally hit rock bottom with this excess weight. <BR> <BR> While in the airport between flights, I had to go from one gate to another - the second gate was so far away! - and I had my lap top case (heavy) and carry-on bag (heavier)...there was no way I was going to make it. Not within the 1/2 hour I had to catch the connecting ... Fri, 22 May 2015 16:33:37 EST Positive Focus 3 1. Thankful that spring has been cooler because it cuts down on the pesky black flies. <BR> 2. Thankful that I got remote access for my work so I can start working from home on days when my daughter needs me here. <BR> 3. Thankful that I have enough money to afford the things I need and some that I just want...although I need to get back on a budget after paying my home/car insurance! <BR> 4. Thankful that my husband still finds me attractive after all these years and all these additional pou... Sun, 17 May 2015 05:08:26 EST Positive Focus 2 Today I am grateful for: <BR> <BR> 1. The weekend! SO glad the week is over - now I can concentrate on packing and making sure I have everything I need for my trip next week. <BR> <BR> 2. My Pharmacist - they thought they did not have a medication my daughter needed, but she was able to locate it and save me the effort of running around town to different drugstores. <BR> <BR> 3. My Pets - but in particular, today, my little rescue dog who absolutely melts my heart when she wants her "lovie... Sat, 16 May 2015 05:34:30 EST Positive Focus A dear friend here on Spark People has inspired me to write a blog of things I am grateful for, which got me to remembering how I used to write a daily journal of 5 things daily that I was thankful for or feeling positive about. I've lost track of that paper one, and my handwriting has deteriorated over the years - I'd just rather do something similar here, since I check in at least daily, and I think focusing on the positive things in my life each morning would be a great way to start each d... Fri, 15 May 2015 05:23:37 EST Just some Updates My back is still sore - more bruised than anything - and during the day I am doing okay, a bit slower perhaps, stairs are challenging...getting in and out of bed is almost a workout, that really hurts, but I don't think anything is seriously wrong other than I took a bad fall and need time to heal. I was so lucky, it could have been so much worse! <BR> <BR> I've tracked my food for 3 days now, a huge accomplishment for me because I am so resistant to it...I'm using the online WW tracker sinc... Wed, 13 May 2015 04:51:31 EST Fell - Hurt my Back I fell today shortly after writing my earlier blog - - trying to hang on to two dog leashes while they were going ballistic over a dog who approached us out of nowhere, two bikers, and two other dogs who we'd just passed. My dogs were obnoxious and pulling me so hard, I tried to hang on and crouch down in the street to hold them back and then I ended up falling flat on my back - not my butt first, which has a lot of cushion, but right on my spine. To say I am sore is an understatement, but I... Sun, 10 May 2015 17:26:04 EST Ch-ch-ch-changes.... Many changes and exciting things coming up - at work, my boss offered me a new role, something they are sort of creating which I will fit into very nicely, but in the meantime, I am still working with my old teammates...however, my old team (which is down to two people) is being 'let go' as their jobs are moving to another location out of state yet still within the company...I am the person training the new people who will be taking over and I get to travel out there for a week to do so. I ne... Sun, 10 May 2015 06:33:06 EST Timeline 08/01 I was invited to an out of state family reunion scheduled for August 1st...that is a mere 3 months it possible to even dream about being at a better weight by then? Could I somehow get myself down to at least 200 pounds? I would have to be very very very strict about eating and exercise...something I haven't been able to do before but I never really had a goal date before, either. I usually only see my extended family at would be nice to see them in a happy setting for... Tue, 5 May 2015 04:58:34 EST Did I Hit Bottom?...Again?? Totally Mortified...that was how I felt yesterday trying to get into one of our trucks - there is no running board to use as a step stool to climb up into it, and no handles to help haul myself up and in...(did I mention I'm short?) stupid left leg is so weak from the pain in the pulled muscle that I could not get any leverage so I had to get my right leg in first and then sort of dive across the seat until I could swing around and shift my butt into a position where I was sitting normal... Sun, 3 May 2015 07:45:09 EST When it pours Some people have good luck, most people have some good and some bad...then there is my daughter, bad luck seems to follow her and when something bad happens, fate laughs in her face and has to be sure to put icing on the cake. To make a long story short, after a very rough week just when things were looking up, her guinea pig died. She handled it fairly well and we were talking about getting either another one or maybe a rabbit and my son walks in with the news that a friend's father just pas... Sat, 2 May 2015 05:40:07 EST Moving my ***FOR PRIVACY REASONS, I'VE MOVED THIS JOURNAL TO MY BLOG*** <BR> <BR> They say (whoever 'they' are) that it takes 3 weeks (21 days) to make (or break) a habit so I am publicly posting this in the hopes that I will stick to it. <BR> <BR> HABITS TO ADD: <BR> <BR> (TF) TRACK FOOD - this includes being aware of portion sizes, weighing and measuring, writing down everything (even if it wasn't the best choice) <BR> <BR> (AM) WEAR ACTIVITY MONITOR - just wearing it every day and knowing that... Thu, 30 Apr 2015 17:42:01 EST Magazine & Stupid Leg Pain... I picked up a copy of Prevention Magazine and they are promoting a 21day transformation challenge...I went to their website to sign up because it sounded like a great idea, but they want $9.95 to join and then more if you want the book on breaking your sugar habit and access to the trainer...sorry, but I think I can find what I need right here on SparkPeople without it costing me money. This site is invaluable for the advice, articles, tips, encouragement - and friendship! Yes there are team ... Sun, 26 Apr 2015 18:45:45 EST Another Weekend Shot to Hell I started off good...went to weight watchers, had a long talk with the leader, felt motivated and in control. And then came Saturday night, with a huge bonfire celebrating my son's birthday and people brought my favorite cake, and there was a cookout, and I wake up today and try again. Egg white omelet, lots of veggies...topped off with a huge hunk of that danged caked! then it was out to dinner and a major splurge - shrimp scampi, split dessert, too much bread...I'm so stuffed I... Sun, 19 Apr 2015 19:52:58 EST Another Vent Going to try to make it around the block today even if my leg hurts, I have GOT to get out and move to relieve some stress and get back in the habit of moving. <BR> <BR> Additional stress at work - my boss told me my cost center is changing next week, which means I am moving forward with changing my team mates are unaware and I am a bit worried as they are not replacing me and I don't know what will happen to the current duties I have - how will they get done and by whom? Also ne... Wed, 15 Apr 2015 04:38:31 EST Very Stressful / Emotional Day Exhausted...Stressed....Eating too much...Not moving enough.... <BR> <BR> Lots of unexpected stress yesterday... <BR> <BR> Made poor choices and feeling it today in the form of sugar withdrawal. <BR> <BR> Wish I could sleep the day away... <BR> <BR> Being the mother of a 17 year old daughter who at her best is an emotional train wreck and at her worst (yesterday) stating she cannot see the point in living anymore, it's no wonder I use food as a comforting stress reliever. My eating plans ... Tue, 14 Apr 2015 04:54:51 EST Some Preplanning for the Week I have been eating the same breakfast (which I thought was healthy) for a few weeks now and finally decided to enter the nutrition information to see how many WW points it was...turned out to be 11 points! I figured out a way to tweak it and, if I stick to the Simply Filling plan instead of counting every point (just the 49 weekly extra ones) it will only cost me 2 points. <BR> <BR> I also figured out a way to make the salad cheaper at work - brining my own chicken, hard boiled egg, dressin... Mon, 13 Apr 2015 04:59:05 EST New Habit for the Week Old habits die hard or they simply refuse to go away no matter what... <BR> <BR> I think in order to break the old ways of doing things, I might want to try focusing on creating new habits rather than getting myself stressed out about 'giving up' something. <BR> <BR> Example: I sit in my spot at the kitchen table every night - I read, go thru mail, watch a little TV,,,and eat! My spot on the table is piled high with paperwork, magazines, clutter...which all gets shoved aside while I plop do... Sat, 11 Apr 2015 06:49:22 EST Blog Rewind Just re-read a few of my older blog entries and it seems like I have been struggling and complaining about the same issues over and over and over again...for years! Things i wrote in 2013 I could have written yesterday. It feels like I haven't changed at all (except for my weight going up since then, how sad is that!) I've gotten older, my hair has gone grayer, my hips have gotten wider, my stomach has become flabbier...but the self talk and mind games and all those issues in my head just go... Sat, 11 Apr 2015 05:50:56 EST Pastry Finally my Hips! I think I have finally eaten off all the leftover pastries from Easter.... <BR> <BR> What is up with this nighttime eating?? I have done so well the past three days at work - no vending machine, eating what I've brought (or a giant salad from the cafeteria), no mindless munching...then I get home after a very long day and proceed to go thru the pastry, the chocolate, pretty much anything not nailed down is fair game as long as it is loaded with sugar, fat, and unhealthy calories. And I'm no... Thu, 9 Apr 2015 04:57:00 EST Strained Groin Muscle The irony is - I join a pool because the exercises are supposed to be gentle and easy for someone who is heavy and has limited mobility due to arthritis, age, etc....and what do I do? I pull a groin muscle and the pain is so severe I am on a narcotic pain medication and have been told by my doctor to avoid doing anything that will aggravate the injury --okay so breathing is out, we won't discuss simply walking or laying down, give up stairs, no going around the block with the dogs (lucky I ca... Wed, 8 Apr 2015 04:58:38 EST 2nd Blog of the Day Easter dinner and all the pastry is done...I am bloated, stuffed, and I'm okay with it because I knew I was allowing myself this one last 'fling' before getting serious... <BR> <BR> Tomorrow I will be bringing fruit and yogurt to work, getting a large salad for lunch, and tracking everything I eat! I figure it will be easier to come up with a food plan if i see just what I am eating and what the calorie count (points for WW) is. I also inherited a gently used recumbent exercise bike which I ... Sun, 5 Apr 2015 17:52:13 EST New Strategy I think I am gong to have to try a strict food plan...winging it, trying to have certain things in moderation, failing to plan and prepare, failing to measure portion size, not weighing my food, not tracking what I's not wonder I am floundering along and losing and regaining the same 1 - 2 lbs each week. <BR> <BR> Today being Easter (with lots of food and pastry) is not going to be Day One - too much temptation and I need to plan out what I can and can't eat. I was very discouraged ... Sun, 5 Apr 2015 06:36:45 EST My Enemy - Junk Food After some much needed soul searching, reading, and a very good WW meeting, I've come to the realization that I am struggling with an addictive personality and that I've turned my former nicotine addiction into a junk food / sugar addiction. It's like I can abstain for only so long before a binge takes over. Moderation does not work because 1 candy bar is too many, 1000 candy bars is never enough. <BR> <BR> When I quit smoking, it was very hard but it was actually simple as well: I either sm... Sun, 29 Mar 2015 05:10:09 EST Feeling Confused and Disappointed Not sure if I should continue with WW as I am really not following the program. And if I do decide to follow it, I don't need them to tell me how, I've got the materials and know what to do - I just haven't been doing it. On the flip side, I do get motivated at the meetings and the guilt of facing the scale each week prompts me at times to try better whereas if I wasn't going, all heck would break loose. <BR> <BR> It's like every Saturday morning I recommit to WW and a healthy lifestyle - a... Sat, 28 Mar 2015 05:33:36 EST Venting - Rough Week! Having a really rough week...started with my daughter falling down the basement stairs and ending up with a concussion. This was not a week I could afford to take time out of work to care for her so I did my best and and ended up putting in almost 5 hours of OT so far, even though I spent several hours with her on Monday and Tuesday going for a CT scan, etc. Work itself has been stressful and I found out yesterday that the gal who decided she needed a break and took an LOA is returning - I s... Fri, 27 Mar 2015 04:36:41 EST The Work Cafeteria They are trying to force us to eat healthy at work...and I really resent it. They've lowered the price per ounce on salad and fruit, but their soup prices are crazy - 90 cents for 8 ounce which they consider a healthy portion but if you want 12 ounces (say your a guy 6'2" and 8 ounces just won't do) the price jumps to over $2 for 12 ounces, over $3 for 16 ounces. Chili and chowder can reach close to $5 for a large portion. So you can get two small soups to come out ahead money-wise I suppose.... Mon, 23 Mar 2015 04:39:57 EST The Woman in the Pool I went to the pool yesterday and found myself motivated by someone there whom I don't know but hope to see again. When I arrived, there were two women in the pool, kind of bobbing around and talking, not really "working out" per se. They smiled, said hello, and probably would have let me join their conversation if I'd gotten out of my shyness shell enough to make the attempt. <BR> <BR> Anyway, I was doing my own thing and feeling pretty impressed with myself (love how flexible and balanced ... Sun, 22 Mar 2015 05:54:23 EST Need to Cut Back on OT Told my boss I did not want to work any overtime this weekend. Last week I put in 15 hrs OT and this week 8...and I'm burnt out. If the work doesn't get done, it's because we lost one person and we have one who works a limited schedule and one who is slower than molasses...and then there is me. I am not super woman and I'm not going to kill myself for this job any longer, my health is more important. Ten hour days seem to be the norm lately and I'm tired of being so tired and so caught up in ... Sat, 21 Mar 2015 05:03:30 EST Not My Stress - repeat - Not My Stress My heart is breaking for my daughter - the love her life (granted she is only 17) broke up with her last night. They have been together 11 months and really seemed so perfect together. He said the reason was "the tension in the relationship" and she says the tension was due to his anger issues. I guess he could be immature and cocky and irresponsible at times, but he really loved her and she loved him. She tried so hard, I know she did, to make him happy and they were, most of the time. I hav... Mon, 16 Mar 2015 04:16:59 EST Pool Membership at Hotel Signed up for a year for the pool fitness membership at a nearby hotel - I will get reimbursed by my work for $250 of the cost and my health insurance may even cover some of it...I tried on last year's bathing suit which fits well enough to get me started and the classes (water aerobics and water Zumba) are mostly older folks so I won't really care how awful I look. Will most likely go after work most days as it will de-stress me and make me tired so I can just shower afterwards, head home, a... Sat, 14 Mar 2015 19:44:05 EST Weekend Plans with my Daughter My daughter has been having a difficult time in her relationship with her boyfriend (he has anger issues, not physical but takes it out on her with his moods and overall attitude and she's tired of putting up with it) so they are cooling things for awhile...which leaves her floundering for a way to get through the better part of the weekend (at least she works on Sunday half a day). <BR> <BR> Anyway, in an attempt to get her out doing something and keeping her mind off of him, we agreed tha... Fri, 13 Mar 2015 04:47:14 EST New Stress Strategy I've started drinking more herbal tea, cutting back on coffee, and using a stress ball and Silly Putty at work to help me deal with stress. But I discovered a new trick - and it's really helping! You may have heard the old adage: "If you Bite It, Write it" when it comes to tracking what you eat. I've changed that up a bit - my new motto is "Write it, Don't Bite It". <BR> <BR> I set up a notebook and pen right at my fingertips and every time something happens around me that starts to get me a... Thu, 12 Mar 2015 04:57:56 EST Reality Check - 100 lbs Overweight - Yikes! So I went to the doctor yesterday, nurse weighs me in (237 gasp!), and we get chatting on the way to the exam room. We get there and she says "I'm sorry, I totally forgot, what did the scale say? 234?" and I jokingly say "No, 134" and she gives me a funny look and I laugh and say "I wish!" and we had a nice chuckle but inside I was crying, screaming "NO!!! I can't be in a position where I need to lose 100 pounds! That can't be true, it just can't!" (I'm sticking with the 234 due to having ju... Tue, 10 Mar 2015 04:49:44 EST My WW Meeting - All About Me The WW meeting yesterday focused on me - literally - as the leader asked us about a situation where we ate food when we weren't hungry and she used my example. I said that a recent stressful event at work cause me to bite something rather than bite someone's head off. Everyone was giving input as to what I really wanted (comfort, calm, to avoid a negative behavior) and then added alternatives to eating that I could try next time (walking, splash my face with cold water, herbal tea, stress bal... Sun, 8 Mar 2015 05:32:59 EST Failure & Reflection Feeling like such a failure this week...I know I am overtired and overstressed from work, but I couldn't even manage to keep tracking my food (and after hitting up the vending machine on a daily basis I was too ashamed to write down all the pretzels and chocolate - not to mention the bread/bagel overload) my plan for the week came up short. <BR> <BR> Debating with myself about quitting WW...I won't say it's not working; I will say that I am not working the program like it's meant to be ... Sat, 7 Mar 2015 05:24:46 EST The Week Ahead Tracked all weekend, even though yesterday we ate out and it was not the best choice, I still stayed very close to my daily points. <BR> Kept pretty active also, lots of walking i spite of not feeling 100% due to a head cold. <BR> My plan for the week ahead is to continue to track my food using my phone since it is probably the easiest way and to try and get in two long walks during the work day - the length of my building (doing the loop) is probably a good half mile, I'll have to wear my pe... Mon, 2 Mar 2015 05:01:00 EST March 1st - 4 months til vacation I've said it before but never really followed through: it's time to get serious! <BR> <BR> Vacation is coming up and I'm just as chunky as last year...and I vowed last year to be much thinner by this coming July. I should get an award for not keeping promises to myself, I'd take the top prize! <BR> <BR> Anyway, I won't beat myself up again...I went to my WW meeting yesterday and got re-motivated and re-inspired. I learned a tip from one member about what she has for breakfast (egg whites s... Sun, 1 Mar 2015 05:17:53 EST Back on Track Ate a bit too much yesterday but it was all healthy stuff... <BR> <BR> I was craving a fat bagel but I made myself walk first. After walking the building at lunch (this is a very large building by the way) I was so out of breath that I bought some fruit and chicken bagel! Also wanted chocolate but managed to avoid that too with a cup of herbal tea. Tue, 24 Feb 2015 04:21:04 EST