SEAGLASS1215's SparkPeople Blog SEAGLASS1215's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Another Vent Going to try to make it around the block today even if my leg hurts, I have GOT to get out and move to relieve some stress and get back in the habit of moving. <BR> <BR> Additional stress at work - my boss told me my cost center is changing next week, which means I am moving forward with changing my team mates are unaware and I am a bit worried as they are not replacing me and I don't know what will happen to the current duties I have - how will they get done and by whom? Also ne... Wed, 15 Apr 2015 04:38:31 EST Very Stressful / Emotional Day Exhausted...Stressed....Eating too much...Not moving enough.... <BR> <BR> Lots of unexpected stress yesterday... <BR> <BR> Made poor choices and feeling it today in the form of sugar withdrawal. <BR> <BR> Wish I could sleep the day away... <BR> <BR> Being the mother of a 17 year old daughter who at her best is an emotional train wreck and at her worst (yesterday) stating she cannot see the point in living anymore, it's no wonder I use food as a comforting stress reliever. My eating plans ... Tue, 14 Apr 2015 04:54:51 EST Some Preplanning for the Week I have been eating the same breakfast (which I thought was healthy) for a few weeks now and finally decided to enter the nutrition information to see how many WW points it was...turned out to be 11 points! I figured out a way to tweak it and, if I stick to the Simply Filling plan instead of counting every point (just the 49 weekly extra ones) it will only cost me 2 points. <BR> <BR> I also figured out a way to make the salad cheaper at work - brining my own chicken, hard boiled egg, dressin... Mon, 13 Apr 2015 04:59:05 EST New Habit for the Week Old habits die hard or they simply refuse to go away no matter what... <BR> <BR> I think in order to break the old ways of doing things, I might want to try focusing on creating new habits rather than getting myself stressed out about 'giving up' something. <BR> <BR> Example: I sit in my spot at the kitchen table every night - I read, go thru mail, watch a little TV,,,and eat! My spot on the table is piled high with paperwork, magazines, clutter...which all gets shoved aside while I plop do... Sat, 11 Apr 2015 06:49:22 EST Blog Rewind Just re-read a few of my older blog entries and it seems like I have been struggling and complaining about the same issues over and over and over again...for years! Things i wrote in 2013 I could have written yesterday. It feels like I haven't changed at all (except for my weight going up since then, how sad is that!) I've gotten older, my hair has gone grayer, my hips have gotten wider, my stomach has become flabbier...but the self talk and mind games and all those issues in my head just go... Sat, 11 Apr 2015 05:50:56 EST Pastry Finally my Hips! I think I have finally eaten off all the leftover pastries from Easter.... <BR> <BR> What is up with this nighttime eating?? I have done so well the past three days at work - no vending machine, eating what I've brought (or a giant salad from the cafeteria), no mindless munching...then I get home after a very long day and proceed to go thru the pastry, the chocolate, pretty much anything not nailed down is fair game as long as it is loaded with sugar, fat, and unhealthy calories. And I'm no... Thu, 9 Apr 2015 04:57:00 EST Strained Groin Muscle The irony is - I join a pool because the exercises are supposed to be gentle and easy for someone who is heavy and has limited mobility due to arthritis, age, etc....and what do I do? I pull a groin muscle and the pain is so severe I am on a narcotic pain medication and have been told by my doctor to avoid doing anything that will aggravate the injury --okay so breathing is out, we won't discuss simply walking or laying down, give up stairs, no going around the block with the dogs (lucky I ca... Wed, 8 Apr 2015 04:58:38 EST 2nd Blog of the Day Easter dinner and all the pastry is done...I am bloated, stuffed, and I'm okay with it because I knew I was allowing myself this one last 'fling' before getting serious... <BR> <BR> Tomorrow I will be bringing fruit and yogurt to work, getting a large salad for lunch, and tracking everything I eat! I figure it will be easier to come up with a food plan if i see just what I am eating and what the calorie count (points for WW) is. I also inherited a gently used recumbent exercise bike which I ... Sun, 5 Apr 2015 17:52:13 EST New Strategy I think I am gong to have to try a strict food plan...winging it, trying to have certain things in moderation, failing to plan and prepare, failing to measure portion size, not weighing my food, not tracking what I's not wonder I am floundering along and losing and regaining the same 1 - 2 lbs each week. <BR> <BR> Today being Easter (with lots of food and pastry) is not going to be Day One - too much temptation and I need to plan out what I can and can't eat. I was very discouraged ... Sun, 5 Apr 2015 06:36:45 EST My Enemy - Junk Food After some much needed soul searching, reading, and a very good WW meeting, I've come to the realization that I am struggling with an addictive personality and that I've turned my former nicotine addiction into a junk food / sugar addiction. It's like I can abstain for only so long before a binge takes over. Moderation does not work because 1 candy bar is too many, 1000 candy bars is never enough. <BR> <BR> When I quit smoking, it was very hard but it was actually simple as well: I either sm... Sun, 29 Mar 2015 05:10:09 EST Feeling Confused and Disappointed Not sure if I should continue with WW as I am really not following the program. And if I do decide to follow it, I don't need them to tell me how, I've got the materials and know what to do - I just haven't been doing it. On the flip side, I do get motivated at the meetings and the guilt of facing the scale each week prompts me at times to try better whereas if I wasn't going, all heck would break loose. <BR> <BR> It's like every Saturday morning I recommit to WW and a healthy lifestyle - a... Sat, 28 Mar 2015 05:33:36 EST Venting - Rough Week! Having a really rough week...started with my daughter falling down the basement stairs and ending up with a concussion. This was not a week I could afford to take time out of work to care for her so I did my best and and ended up putting in almost 5 hours of OT so far, even though I spent several hours with her on Monday and Tuesday going for a CT scan, etc. Work itself has been stressful and I found out yesterday that the gal who decided she needed a break and took an LOA is returning - I s... Fri, 27 Mar 2015 04:36:41 EST The Work Cafeteria They are trying to force us to eat healthy at work...and I really resent it. They've lowered the price per ounce on salad and fruit, but their soup prices are crazy - 90 cents for 8 ounce which they consider a healthy portion but if you want 12 ounces (say your a guy 6'2" and 8 ounces just won't do) the price jumps to over $2 for 12 ounces, over $3 for 16 ounces. Chili and chowder can reach close to $5 for a large portion. So you can get two small soups to come out ahead money-wise I suppose.... Mon, 23 Mar 2015 04:39:57 EST The Woman in the Pool I went to the pool yesterday and found myself motivated by someone there whom I don't know but hope to see again. When I arrived, there were two women in the pool, kind of bobbing around and talking, not really "working out" per se. They smiled, said hello, and probably would have let me join their conversation if I'd gotten out of my shyness shell enough to make the attempt. <BR> <BR> Anyway, I was doing my own thing and feeling pretty impressed with myself (love how flexible and balanced ... Sun, 22 Mar 2015 05:54:23 EST Need to Cut Back on OT Told my boss I did not want to work any overtime this weekend. Last week I put in 15 hrs OT and this week 8...and I'm burnt out. If the work doesn't get done, it's because we lost one person and we have one who works a limited schedule and one who is slower than molasses...and then there is me. I am not super woman and I'm not going to kill myself for this job any longer, my health is more important. Ten hour days seem to be the norm lately and I'm tired of being so tired and so caught up in ... Sat, 21 Mar 2015 05:03:30 EST Not My Stress - repeat - Not My Stress My heart is breaking for my daughter - the love her life (granted she is only 17) broke up with her last night. They have been together 11 months and really seemed so perfect together. He said the reason was "the tension in the relationship" and she says the tension was due to his anger issues. I guess he could be immature and cocky and irresponsible at times, but he really loved her and she loved him. She tried so hard, I know she did, to make him happy and they were, most of the time. I hav... Mon, 16 Mar 2015 04:16:59 EST Pool Membership at Hotel Signed up for a year for the pool fitness membership at a nearby hotel - I will get reimbursed by my work for $250 of the cost and my health insurance may even cover some of it...I tried on last year's bathing suit which fits well enough to get me started and the classes (water aerobics and water Zumba) are mostly older folks so I won't really care how awful I look. Will most likely go after work most days as it will de-stress me and make me tired so I can just shower afterwards, head home, a... Sat, 14 Mar 2015 19:44:05 EST Weekend Plans with my Daughter My daughter has been having a difficult time in her relationship with her boyfriend (he has anger issues, not physical but takes it out on her with his moods and overall attitude and she's tired of putting up with it) so they are cooling things for awhile...which leaves her floundering for a way to get through the better part of the weekend (at least she works on Sunday half a day). <BR> <BR> Anyway, in an attempt to get her out doing something and keeping her mind off of him, we agreed tha... Fri, 13 Mar 2015 04:47:14 EST New Stress Strategy I've started drinking more herbal tea, cutting back on coffee, and using a stress ball and Silly Putty at work to help me deal with stress. But I discovered a new trick - and it's really helping! You may have heard the old adage: "If you Bite It, Write it" when it comes to tracking what you eat. I've changed that up a bit - my new motto is "Write it, Don't Bite It". <BR> <BR> I set up a notebook and pen right at my fingertips and every time something happens around me that starts to get me a... Thu, 12 Mar 2015 04:57:56 EST Reality Check - 100 lbs Overweight - Yikes! So I went to the doctor yesterday, nurse weighs me in (237 gasp!), and we get chatting on the way to the exam room. We get there and she says "I'm sorry, I totally forgot, what did the scale say? 234?" and I jokingly say "No, 134" and she gives me a funny look and I laugh and say "I wish!" and we had a nice chuckle but inside I was crying, screaming "NO!!! I can't be in a position where I need to lose 100 pounds! That can't be true, it just can't!" (I'm sticking with the 234 due to having ju... Tue, 10 Mar 2015 04:49:44 EST My WW Meeting - All About Me The WW meeting yesterday focused on me - literally - as the leader asked us about a situation where we ate food when we weren't hungry and she used my example. I said that a recent stressful event at work cause me to bite something rather than bite someone's head off. Everyone was giving input as to what I really wanted (comfort, calm, to avoid a negative behavior) and then added alternatives to eating that I could try next time (walking, splash my face with cold water, herbal tea, stress bal... Sun, 8 Mar 2015 05:32:59 EST Failure & Reflection Feeling like such a failure this week...I know I am overtired and overstressed from work, but I couldn't even manage to keep tracking my food (and after hitting up the vending machine on a daily basis I was too ashamed to write down all the pretzels and chocolate - not to mention the bread/bagel overload) my plan for the week came up short. <BR> <BR> Debating with myself about quitting WW...I won't say it's not working; I will say that I am not working the program like it's meant to be ... Sat, 7 Mar 2015 05:24:46 EST The Week Ahead Tracked all weekend, even though yesterday we ate out and it was not the best choice, I still stayed very close to my daily points. <BR> Kept pretty active also, lots of walking i spite of not feeling 100% due to a head cold. <BR> My plan for the week ahead is to continue to track my food using my phone since it is probably the easiest way and to try and get in two long walks during the work day - the length of my building (doing the loop) is probably a good half mile, I'll have to wear my pe... Mon, 2 Mar 2015 05:01:00 EST March 1st - 4 months til vacation I've said it before but never really followed through: it's time to get serious! <BR> <BR> Vacation is coming up and I'm just as chunky as last year...and I vowed last year to be much thinner by this coming July. I should get an award for not keeping promises to myself, I'd take the top prize! <BR> <BR> Anyway, I won't beat myself up again...I went to my WW meeting yesterday and got re-motivated and re-inspired. I learned a tip from one member about what she has for breakfast (egg whites s... Sun, 1 Mar 2015 05:17:53 EST Back on Track Ate a bit too much yesterday but it was all healthy stuff... <BR> <BR> I was craving a fat bagel but I made myself walk first. After walking the building at lunch (this is a very large building by the way) I was so out of breath that I bought some fruit and chicken bagel! Also wanted chocolate but managed to avoid that too with a cup of herbal tea. Tue, 24 Feb 2015 04:21:04 EST No Excuse - Binge All Weekend Why??? <BR> Why did I feel the need to devour the last of the Valentine's chocolates which weren't even mine to begin with? <BR> Why did I have a double serving of an ice cream cake that my son bought and left in the upstairs freezer where I saw it for 3 days before finally giving in? <BR> Why did I sit next to a tub of pretzel sticks and systematically reach in an nibble on them? <BR> <BR> I was doing great prior to this....and I have several moments during this crazy weekend where I made g... Mon, 23 Feb 2015 04:44:28 EST Looking for Love - since infancy As I lay there waiting for sleep to come, I had an insight into my past that may or may not be something I need to deal with now... <BR> <BR> I was given up for adoption at birth and (thankfully) adopted at about 3 months of age. However, I thought about what it must have been like for an infant to not know the love of a mother during those crucial early weeks when crying was the only way to communicate...I am sure there was no one to immediately respond to my cries, as an orphanage in 1961 ... Sat, 21 Feb 2015 06:33:31 EST Ear Infection / High BP? Diagnosed my ear pain, definitely an ear infection, 10 days of antibiotics, oh the fun! But my blood pressure was 134 / 94 which gave the urgent care doctor some concern. It seems like lately my BP is elevated somewhat and I'm not sure what to do about it, if anything. I guess I can call my PCP and get his opinion, I just don't want to go on meds for it if I don't have to. <BR> <BR> I did give in to a few pieces of hard candy yesterday...realized I was so bored I was looking for something ... Fri, 20 Feb 2015 04:41:57 EST Day 3 - Survived They say habits are made (or broken) in three's - the first 3 days, then 3 weeks, then 3 months. Well I survived my third day of no sugar and it was tough, especially at work where it was stressful and I wanted the hard candy I had stashed out of sight in my desk drawer. Lots of self talk, water, herbal tea and a few quick walks helped take the edge off. <BR> <BR> Weighed myself...and lost almost 4 pounds since Sunday...I know this won't last but it sure feels good to get below 230! Thu, 19 Feb 2015 04:49:49 EST Day 2 - no sugar = sleepy Got through a second day of no sugar and this was at work with more stress and temptation to deal with. Very tired, I think I was so pumped up on sugar before that my body is feeling the effects of sugar withdrawal...groggy, kind of moving at a slow motion pace, lack of 100% focus... <BR> <BR> Made it around the block yesterday in 8 degree weather. Today it's that is a huge difference. Might try again this morning, dogs love it and we all need it. <BR> <BR> Read something the other... Wed, 18 Feb 2015 04:48:39 EST Survived the first 24 Hours Made the palate cleanse soup - quite tasty! But I did not limit myself to just the soup as I knew I would lose motivation on just one food for three days. I added some air popped popcorn to crunch away the stress and made a healthy dinner of chicken, green beans, spaghetti squash and while wheat noodles. Finished off the day with an apple. <BR> <BR> My son brought home a Friendly's ice cream cake and proceeded to eat a piece right in front of me...torture! Husband had me hand him some sugar ... Tue, 17 Feb 2015 04:47:29 EST Giving Up Sugar This weekend was a sugar overload, between Valentine's Day treats and being stuck inside with yet another blizzard...I saw sugar, I ate it. Got very little exercise, too. You simply cannot go around the block with or without two dogs when the wind chill is negative zero+ and the snow is like little ice balls pelting you in the face. I think I took the term couch potato and made it my goal (I unfortunately succeeded). <BR> <BR> I could have done things bypassed the treats ... Mon, 16 Feb 2015 06:00:32 EST A Prayer of Thanks I am so grateful for so many things in my life... <BR> <BR> Thank you, God, for the snow plow guy who did my driveway - so much appreciated! <BR> Thank you for helping me raise three great kids - what a great family game night we shared last night, haven't laughed so hard in ages! <BR> Thank you for my husband who is blind to my faults (except my snoring!) and loves me no matter my size or shape - and believe me, the shape is nothing like it was 30 years ago! <BR> Thank you for my good healt... Mon, 9 Feb 2015 04:27:14 EST Venting...again.... This happens every year - I get so busy at work that I barely leave my chair and end up feeling achy, depressed, lethargic...and then I overeat to stay awake and make it through another day. It's so flipping cold out (and slippery, crappy snow plow job) that walking the block is out of the question...last thing I need is a fall! Dogs are antsy to get out there and really burn off energy too. <BR> <BR> Went to WW last night, dropped the same 1.6 lbs I had gained the week no victor... Fri, 6 Feb 2015 04:41:18 EST Cooked Eggplant, Bought a Turnip Never in my life had I tasted eggplant until recently and I was I actually bought two, cooked one (husband loved it!) and have a different recipe to try for the second one. I sliced it, dipped in egg then bread crumbs and baked it -- simple but very satisfying! <BR> <BR> Also - for the first time in my life - I bought a turnip. I ate some once and liked it so now I'm going to see what I can do with this thing. It looks a bit intimidating, like an ugly bowling ball... <BR> <BR... Sun, 1 Feb 2015 06:20:00 EST Pre-Track for the WeekEND first As there is no way I am going to predict what I will want for lunch next Tuesday, I am going to pre-track for the weekend only. Then come Sunday, I will pre-track the next couple of days and so on. <BR> <BR> Weekends are their own challenge as there is nothing routine about them other than laundry, grocery shopping and cleaning. Sometimes I like to cook ahead, other times I get caught up in crafts, other days are shopping and if I can preplan one weekend at a time, that is a goo... Fri, 30 Jan 2015 19:10:51 EST Pre-Track for the Week At my WW meeting, someone suggested I try tracking my meals for a full week in advance. My first thought was - "is she nuts? I don't know what I'm making for dinner and she wants me to figure out my 3 PM snack for next Monday?!" <BR> <BR> Then I got to thinking about breakfast and lunch (and even snacks at work) are pretty much the same every day. By pre-tracking dinner, I am sort of committing to eating an actual meal instead of scarfing down the crap that calls to me after a busy d... Thu, 29 Jan 2015 05:11:52 EST Disgusted... So far off track I can't even see the train I was on anymore...*sigh*... <BR> <BR> Dinner last night was half a bag of tortilla chips with about 3/4 cup guacamole followed by 5 chocolate chip cookies. Lunch was a homemade Belgian waffle (wheat flour, at least) but the thing was huge! Breakfast was leftovers from dinner the night before: fish, potatoes, asparagus and carrots. The day before was included half of a giant eclair, double serving of peanut M&M's, a black forrest cupcak... Wed, 28 Jan 2015 05:03:42 EST Completed Zentangle Butterfly <img src=""> Sun, 25 Jan 2015 06:14:50 EST Random Stuff I need to stop writing down my goals and action plans because it seems like once I do, they fall apart. Yet if I leave them in my head, I do them more consistently. Like that whole Monday- Friday schedule thing -- I tried to follow it and got frustrated on day 1. **sigh** <BR> <BR> Weather pending, today is my WW meeting and weigh-in. Not looking forward to getting on the scale, it was a bad food week. <BR> <BR> Training the new dog to stay off our bed...her wrestling with the cat at 2:0... Sat, 24 Jan 2015 06:17:50 EST My Zentangle Butterfly (unfinished) <img src=""> <BR> <BR> We were given the outline drawing...we then did the watercolor background ourselves and after that was dried, followed the instructions for making the patterns. I'll post another picture of the completed butterfly when I'm done. Thu, 22 Jan 2015 05:30:21 EST Stress & Zentangle I wish I had an invisible force field around me so when other people's negativity starts, I can stop it from affecting me. <BR> <BR> I figured out that I am not really stressed -- it's other people's issues and problems that are stressing me out, and my way of coping is to eat. My daughter's boyfriend trouble isn't MY trouble; my husband's lack of sleep and anger at the traffic is not MY issue; work is busy but I'm not the only one under pressure and it's not up to me to help everyone else w... Wed, 21 Jan 2015 05:26:39 EST Monday - Friday Schedule The following is a basic outline of my weekly schedule for times to eat and walk. Times are not hard and fast, just approximate. The goal here is to get up and walk during the day and also eat snacks (not treats) before I get so hungry that I make poor choices. Weekends have more leeway and I already do lots more moving around those days, but I will try and have something to eat every 3 hours. <BR> <BR> 4:00 AM - walk around block (weather permitting) <BR> 7:00 AM - breakfast <BR> 9:30 AM - ... Mon, 19 Jan 2015 06:24:01 EST Scheduling Meals & Snacks The lesson this week at my WW meeting had to do with scheduling meals and snack times rather than waiting until you are so hungry you over eat or grazing all day long in one big snack fest. Makes sense. <BR> <BR> Someone also brought up the point that made me think: <BR> >>> A snack is not a treat. <BR> <BR> - wait, what? <BR> <BR> That's right...a snack is a healthy few bites to hold you until the next meal. Yogurt with fruit, a small piece of cheese with a few almonds...a snack i... Sun, 18 Jan 2015 06:01:59 EST Negativity I love my DH but he is probably one of the most negative people I know...grumpy, short tempered, never sees the positive side of anything, complains about things he can't change like the weather, gets angry if someone is hurt or sick, his way is the only way to do anything...I feel like I walk on eggshells a lot and it's driving me crazy. <BR> <BR> He is not abusive in a physical way. His words can hurt because he doesn't think through what he is saying compared to what he means. His anger i... Wed, 14 Jan 2015 05:09:22 EST Getting Creative While watching the Patriots game yesterday, I pulled out some leftover yarn and crocheted a small pattern, just kind or made it up as I went along. It's not amazing, but it got my creative juices flowing and inspired me to look up some patterns on line, see if I can maybe make this a nightly project. It really kept my hands busy and kept me out of the kitchen. <BR> <BR> I also prepared a mini quilt project, it's going to be a sampler but small, like 17 x 22 when finished with 12... Sun, 11 Jan 2015 05:54:38 EST Feeling Pampered Last night I had a professional facial and body massage...and it was wonderful! Once I was over my self-consciousness, I was able to really let go and sink into it...the point where I don't remember some of it, like I was in the 'zone' of blissful relaxation and not even there on the table. The whole experience was relaxing and made me feel pampered and deserving of being treated it boosted my self-esteem and got me really thinking about how I treat myself and how I am worthy of g... Thu, 8 Jan 2015 05:01:13 EST Lost 2.2 after a week of eating cake! I had the WW receptionist weigh me twice yesterday as I accused her of having a broken scale. Although I tracked what I ate last week, I didn't write down points or calories or anything, just listed the food and my choices were not so great - lots of birthday cake, some ice cream...and somehow I lost 2.2 lbs! <BR> <BR> Watch - I'll eat healthy this week and gain it back again! Ha! <BR> <BR> Will be trying to cook a few things ahead for the week and getting excited to use my Christmas/Birthd... Sun, 4 Jan 2015 05:24:40 EST Tracking & the Truth Comes Out Well I tracked my food this week and it wasn't pretty or easy and I didn't account for the "points" values, I just wrote down what I ate...and it basically consisted of: <BR> <BR> 1. too much birthday cake (son's girlfriend is a pastry chef - yes, it was delicious!)... <BR> 2. too much ice cream (same son sneaks bars and cones into the house and leaves them where I can find them - knowing they are there haunts me until I give in and have one).... <BR> 3. too much eating, period! (stress & wo... Sat, 3 Jan 2015 07:17:12 EST TV Show - "My 600 Pound Life" I think that is the name of it... <BR> <BR> Anyway, I was folding laundry and caught an episode where this woman weighed 1100 pounds. Many surgeries and life style changes helped her get into the 200's which I find miraculous, my heart was breaking watching her struggle just to stand, then to walk... <BR> <BR> I think the most impact her situation had on me was that she had to rely on so many people to help her with day to day functions - she couldn't bathe herself, I can only imagine the h... Fri, 2 Jan 2015 05:55:48 EST