SEAGLASS1215's SparkPeople Blog SEAGLASS1215's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Love This <img src=""> Wed, 26 Jul 2017 07:10:24 EST Today / Gym Update Busy day ahead - starting with some creative attempts to make magnets to sell at our quilt show in September. I saw them on Pinterest, they seemed easy, but I'm not sure if I got the right glue. Then I need to return my book to the library and go to the cancer doctor's assistant today for follow-up. I think this is like an "end-of-treatment" visit to see how I am doing and what I can expect in terms of future appointments, tests, etc. Following that I will be meeting my son and others at his ... Tue, 25 Jul 2017 05:29:31 EST Home Alone!! I am home alone....and loving it! DD started her orientation for her job this morning, DH went to his office, DS is off to work...and it's just me and the pets and so quiet, no pressure, I can get very used to this! Tomorrow will be more of the same and then DD will start working the night shift, 11 - 7, so most of the time that she is in the house with me will be spent with her sleeping -- so we are less likely to get in each other's hair, less chance of arguing. DS and his GF close on their... Mon, 24 Jul 2017 09:49:01 EST Tooth is out The tooth is out, a bit sore today but not as awful as it could have been - no stitches needed and thankfully he knocked me out so I didn't have to be aware of anything. I can't drive until later on today thanks to the general anesthesia and also I'm taking heavy duty ibuprofen which makes me sleepy so I think I am going to work on some quilt projects (placemats and boutique items for our guild show) and perhaps get started on my homework. Hoping this heat wave breaks at some point, I really ... Sat, 22 Jul 2017 06:36:29 EST Gym, Therapist, Tooth, Class I went to the gym yesterday and completed 23.5 minutes on the treadmill along with doing all the weight machines the trainer suggested I use. Took a shower (yes, I had flip flops for that!) and got in the car feeling pretty empowered. I didn't exactly enjoy the exercise but I did like how I felt afterwards. I also had some almonds and an apple with me so there was no reason to stop and grab anything unhealthy from Panera or Dunkin Donuts. <BR> <BR> Following the workout I met with my therap... Fri, 21 Jul 2017 05:22:04 EST Gym / Trainer Update I went to the gym on Tuesday and went over some basics with the trainer. I was not impressed, as he is leaving that gym in a week and it seemed like his mind has already "checked out" - he gave me a few good ideas and then just printed out some things and left me to my own devices. I'll meet with another trainer again within the next few weeks...I'm going to go today and try the machines he suggested as well as do some cardio (I did 7 minutes on the treadmill followed by 10 minutes on the ell... Thu, 20 Jul 2017 06:55:17 EST More Good News This past month and a half has been a whirlwind of good changes for this family: I retired and will be starting classes; DS#2 has bought a ring with intentions to propose to his GF in August; DS#1 is moving out/buying a house with his GF and also will be starting a new job with great pay/benefits; and finally DD was hired yesterday for a job she really wanted - overnight shift at a nursing home, with $4 - $5 pay increase over her last position since it is working nights and weekends also brin... Tue, 18 Jul 2017 06:54:48 EST Broken Tooth / Week Ahead Yesterday I was flossing my teeth and my lower back molar just sheared off completely right at the gum line! No pain, just the top portion of my tooth popped right off and landed down the front of my least this didn't happen while away on vacation, I'll call the dentist later on this morning. Most likely what remains will have to be pulled and no, I do not want to put in an implant. Cannot afford it and my teeth are so crappy anyway that it won't be long before dentures are needed ... Mon, 17 Jul 2017 06:13:13 EST Home Oh it feels good to be home, in my own bed, with my pets and my stuff...however, I do always feel like my house is a bit of a let down after being at my sister-in-law's on the Cape, as she has a home that is the best of the best, well over $1 million, not a single thing out of place -- very beautiful but almost where you are afraid to just let your self relax. I am very grateful that she welcomes us to stay with her, it's just not "home" to me. My house is cluttered, most of the furniture is... Sun, 16 Jul 2017 07:44:04 EST Day 9 The wildlife refuge was small but we did some walking and saw some ospreys with their babies up I a nest. Also explored a very old cemetery. The weather was cool with sporadic drizzle so not a good day for swimming. Lunch was at a dive bar, dinner at an inn. I'm getting tired of eating out all the time, I just want to buy my own groceries and cook things I'm used to. The vacation has been fun but I am ready to go home now. I want to sleep in my own bed with my pets surrounding me and just get... Sat, 15 Jul 2017 05:34:52 EST Day 8 Drove up to Sandwich where we toured the glass museum and watched live glass blowing demonstrations. Had a light lunch then walked a very long boardwalk over marsh and ponds to arrive at the beach there. We didn't stay because the guy said if all we wanted to do was walk out there and back he didn't want to charge us $15 to park. Later on we went to dinner to a "gastropub" where the seating was narrow and apparently had steps that were not clearly labeled - I fell sideways off the steps onto... Fri, 14 Jul 2017 05:48:12 EST Day 7 Weather was humid and I did not feel like being in town with crowds of people, sweating and sticky, so we did not do the craft fair. DH caught up on some work and I read my book in the morning; afternoon I went swimming for almost an hour! Once I got over the initial chill, the ocean was absolutely wonderful! I really worked my arms (feeling it today) and hope to do the same at least once more before we leave on Saturday. Not sure of the plans for today other than lunch out at a dive bar that... Thu, 13 Jul 2017 06:37:25 EST Days 5&6 Day 5 was a lazy day. Did some reading, walked along the shore, played mini golf. Yesterday (day 6) was more exciting. It started with an overnight fire at the marina where my brother in law boat is. A 60' catamaran went up in flames, 2 people on board, one female flown to Boston with serious burns. The morning rain turned into a downpour but we were determined to take the ferry to Martha's Vineyard. We were soaked through but the rain stopped by the time we got there...and in less than 4 hou... Wed, 12 Jul 2017 06:38:08 EST Day 4 We went to the flea market where I had a pendant made from sea glass and a shell charm, then we also bought a garden ornament bumble bee made from recycled glass. Both very unique momentos from our trip to RI. Decided to head for Cape Cod and arrived here around 3:30 pm. Did not do much except for unpacking, eating dinner, catching up with DH's sister. I did not sleep well- very strange sense of claustrophobia although this house is enormous. I'm not as "at home" here, it's just too fancy for... Mon, 10 Jul 2017 07:25:04 EST Day 3 Logged in at 8500 + steps yesterday but it was probably more...can't wear Fitbit in the water and I had to walk down to the pond and back, plus there was some swimming so overall I was still active but not so sore LOL. The musical was very well done but of course we had seats behind two tall guys! At intermission I went up to the cheap seats and found an unobstructed view with more direct air conditioning. DH is ready to head for the Cape I think but I would like to stay one more day here---m... Sun, 9 Jul 2017 06:34:38 EST Day 2 Lots of rain yesterday did not dampen our vacation. Still managed to get in over 12,000 steps! We did our own ghost tour as we knew the route, need to review pictures to see if we "caught" anything. Today's plans include a nature preserve walk, possible dip in the pond, theater production of "the Music Man" and then dinner out. Right now I am having coffee on the porch, breathing in that salty air and watching the sun come up over the pond. Birds are singing, rabbits are hopping about, I am ... Sat, 8 Jul 2017 06:47:48 EST Day 1 Walked over 15,000 steps yesterday! Fitbit gave me rewards and incentive to keep going. Foot did not bother me too much. Rain in the forecast for today but clear by tonight. If the weather clears we are going on a ghost tour later on. In the meantime we may go in the salt pond (salt water heals so much!) even if it's raining, perhaps go out for breakfast, but definitely taking a nap--woke up too early! Fri, 7 Jul 2017 06:10:05 EST Vacation and Plans And so off we go to vacation...and once again I am not at the weight or shape or size I promised myself last year I would be. But I'm accepting of that this year more than in the past. This year had some major hurdles thrown in my path, lots of life changes, and here I am now, feeling really good health-wise and much less stressed (less than a week of retirement will do that, LOL). It's okay that my shape is not what I want it to be. I'm feeling good and now I am strong enough to work on chan... Thu, 6 Jul 2017 06:15:03 EST Foot Issue Tomorrow we leave for vacation...DH has to work about a half day today and I have 2 doctor appointments, as well as some last minute errands to run. I am excited to be going but a bit worried about a potential foot issue - it seems I have hardened skin/callous which goes pretty deep (probably some scar tissue) and no matter what shoe I wear or cushioning I try, it hurts when I walk and we are going to be doing a lot of walking. It may require more surgery if it is not the build up of hard ski... Wed, 5 Jul 2017 05:35:48 EST Thank You, SparkPeople! Having just purchased a FitBIt and being very challenged with any kind of technology, I just wanted to express my thanks to SparkPeople for allowing me to link my device to this site -- not only was it the easiest thing ever to do, the information about what I accomplished yesterday was so easy to read! The step count, the calories burned...seems like the FitBit site is a little confused, it thinks I did a lot of activity last week (before I even bought the tracker!). SparkPeople is straightf... Tue, 4 Jul 2017 07:16:23 EST FitBit I bought myself the FitBit Alta HR - more pricey than my original choice but I figure a heart rate monitor might be good thing...but being as technology challenged as I am, this gadget is already causing me grief! I cannot get it to convert my weight to pounds, it shows up as "stones" and that number just feels strange. The thing also thinks I walked 5000 steps yesterday which I know for a fact I did not -- at least, not from the time I started wearing it which was around 4:00 PM - we went o... Mon, 3 Jul 2017 06:16:45 EST Support / Vacation Plan DH and I had a good long talk yesterday and he is so very supportive of me, no matter what. I mentioned wanting to join the gym and also the possibility of getting a FitBit tracker - he was encouraging, said whatever I need/want to do is fine by him (said to focus on me, 100%) and also said that if I bring in new/different foods he will be okay with this, no need to bring home the cookies, etc., he will make do and perhaps lose a few pounds as well. He even suggested trying a personal trainer... Sun, 2 Jul 2017 05:53:02 EST Done / Therapist / Reframing Idea Yesterday turned out to be my final day of work, as I had literally run out of things to do and was having my goodbye chat with my manager - she said to save myself the trip of coming to work on Friday just to turn in my laptop and badge, to go ahead and submit my time (for the full week) and "get out" before the crowds! She was very sweet, it was hard saying goodbye to her as she has been wonderful thru all my LOA stuff and everything else. Giving hugs, sending farewell emails, etc was not a... Fri, 30 Jun 2017 07:23:58 EST Bittersweet Day / Nightmare Tomorrow is my last official day of work although I can't imagine we will be doing much "work" as people are going to be turning in their laptops and badges - I doubt they will make us wait until 5:00 to do that, it would be chaotic at beast. As it is I have nothing to do today either, just send off an email with all the procedures I created during the past month.Tonight there is a gathering for one of my co-workers, probably the only real friend I have made in the company - she accepted the ... Thu, 29 Jun 2017 06:03:01 EST June 27 I half tracked my food yesterday and not all of my choices were the best, either. I also confess to some stress eating thanks to yet another misunderstanding with DD. Apparently I am not allowed to get confused about things she says or to misunderstand her meaning - I need to try harder. It happens way too often and she is tired of being patient. I asked her to ask others if they felt the same way, if they felt that I was not understanding them either and easily confused by what they say to m... Tue, 27 Jun 2017 06:04:55 EST Wedding / Reality Check The wedding was very nice, I actually looked pretty good (even DD said so!) but I was physically very uncomfortable. I did not realize how "lazy" my posture/sitting has become - I'm so used to slouching around that when I had on the dress, I could not sit like I ordinarily do (almost like a guy) with my legs apart to accommodate my tummy overhang. Trying to sit properly with my legs together was almost painful! It felt like I was doing a weird exercise where I had to close my legs and hold th... Mon, 26 Jun 2017 06:12:44 EST Fear of Failure so I Quit before Starting I joined a challenge team but when I saw all the rules, I quit before it got started...being the perfectionist that I am and not having learned quite how to deal with that aspect of myself yet, I was already aware of how much stress I would feel by sticking to a team that has goals and rules and so much accountability...I'm not quite there yet. I think setting goals is fine and being accountable is good but this team was just so complex and if you didn't follow their rules, you could get kick... Sun, 25 Jun 2017 05:02:44 EST No More Port! / PF / Weekend Ahead Surgery went very well yesterday, very quick, no pain, I feel wonderful this morning! Yesterday I was a bit wobbly from the whole thing and unfortunately ate a lot of things (I think they put a steroid in the IV, I swear, my appetite was insatiable!) but...the port is out, one more step towards being "normal" again. <BR> <BR> I took a big step the other day and went to Planet Fitness to ask about their current offers (it is not as simple as you see in the commercials) - since we are going aw... Sat, 24 Jun 2017 06:36:48 EST CBT - Long random thoughts Really getting places with the new CBT therapist, I'm very impressed with her. I will randomly throw out a comment or observation, she will make a connection from what I say to something I mentioned previously and suddenly it's like lightbulbs are flashing with those "Aha!" moments and I am really seeing some things clearly now. Like being a perfectionist, being afraid of not being in control (even of things I have no control over!), the way my perception of things makes me behave the way I d... Fri, 23 Jun 2017 06:45:19 EST Prayers Answered Yesterday was a VERY good day for DS and his GF...they are looking to buy a house and the one they want needs some repairs and the seller agreed to knock $10,000 off the price! Also, DS had an interview on Monday and they said they would let him know in 1 -2 weeks...well they called him yesterday! They want to hire him but said if they had to reinstate his security clearance it could take several months...he mentioned that he only recently left the reserves so they looked him up and his clear... Thu, 22 Jun 2017 05:28:04 EST $$$, Side Effects, Surgery Without going into details, I just want to note that I finally have a bit of financial peace of mind. This gives me a great sense of relief, I can just about feel the stress rolling off my back. No, I didn't hit the lottery and become wealthy but I did have a few things happen that I wasn't expecting and I'm able to breathe easier. <BR> <BR> My side effects are almost completely gone from the chemo and radiation - my skin has healed quite nicely although the left side remains a bit darker pi... Tue, 20 Jun 2017 13:56:36 EST Week Ahead, Meditation, Changing Habits Busy week ahead - my son has his interview today, I need to get my car serviced tomorrow, do a bunch of errands on Wednesday, then my port removal surgery is set for Friday and we're going to a wedding on Sunday. My GF wanted to take in a quilt show on Saturday but being that is the day after the surgery, I don't know if I'll be up to it (lots of walking) and I need to be rested and ready for the wedding on Sunday. <BR> <BR> I have been trying to get better at the meditation, doing it for a... Mon, 19 Jun 2017 06:10:09 EST Meditation is Hard / Requesting Positive Energy I am finding it difficult to sit still and do this...she wants me to do it for 20 minutes, I can barely last 5 minutes! She said to breathe in and think of the word "strong" and as I breathe out, think of the word "calm"...and she said my mind would wander and I should just gently go back to focusing on the words and breathing -- and I am trying, really, but it's boring and I want to jump out of my skin! I think it's been about 5 minutes and I'm just done and when I see the clock it is barely... Sun, 18 Jun 2017 06:37:16 EST So the therapist said.... is time to start thinking about setting some goals...and to consider what's the first thing I really want to do with regards to my eating habits. The goals she wanted me to think about were where would I like to see myself in 3 and 6 months -- not at what specific weight or size, more along the lines of how do I see myself handling my eating habits at those times and also where I want to be emotionally. We came up with I want to be losing weight, seeing some kind of results at the sca... Thu, 15 Jun 2017 13:03:33 EST Stress Leads to Food This will have to be quick, working from home early today as I have my 11:00 with the therapist. <BR> <BR> Just wanted to note that stress is definitely a factor in my eating habits - yesterday I had to train some people and was worried about that a bit so I had an ice cream treat at 9:00 AM (!) -- the rest of the day I had to fight cravings -- and sometimes I lost. DH was stressed and upset by the Virginia shootings and also he was ticked off at DS, so DH's mood sent me to the cookie jar (... Thu, 15 Jun 2017 05:39:16 EST Heat Wave, Work, Tracking Woes Gosh, I am not a fan of the heat and it's still only June -- what's to become of me by the end of August if this 90 degree weather keeps up? I wish I could say I'm melting and actually lose weight that way instead of "I'm Melting!" and feel and look like a worn out dishrag. Thankfully it was not humid, somewhat overcast, and with a breeze but I still needed the AC on. <BR> <BR> Going back to the office today (and they have not cranked up the AC there, it's moderate) so they can hopefully in... Mon, 12 Jun 2017 05:54:35 EST Follow Up re: meds... So to follow up from yesterday....I saw my PCP and we discussed meds, which ones had what types of side effects, etc...settled on Wellbutrin as it is generally well-tolerated and less likely to cause any weight impact. I'll be starting that this morning. It was interesting - I was filling DH in on everything and when I told him the therapist thought I was depressed, he was like "Well, duh! You've been like that for a while now" and I was a bit shocked that he had even noticed but I guess aft... Sat, 10 Jun 2017 07:05:12 EST Depression... So after submitting several questionnaires to my new therapist last week, we met again yesterday and my results clearly indicate that I am depressed...and apparently, after some discussion and reflection, this has been going on for quite some time, to the point where it feels normal. This is not a result of the cancer diagnosis or treatment or job change -- this started years ago and she thinks I've been using food as a coping mechanism (I often joke that I self-medicate with food). In additi... Fri, 9 Jun 2017 06:34:52 EST And So It Goes... Up at 4:00 AM thanks to a loud, annoying cat...who is now enjoying himself out in the rain. Usually they sleep in on rainy days but no, Max is insistent about getting outside when he wants to (otherwise he will deliberately pee on something in the house). <BR> <BR> I've been back to work part time, working from home and so far it's going okay - very glad I did not return full time, my brain is done after four hours and since I'm not doing my regular job, it is harder to keep myself busy (pre... Tue, 6 Jun 2017 05:14:33 EST Tracking is Working! Since I started tracking which was roughly 2 weeks ago, I have lost almost 10 lbs! The scale was an exact 250.0 when I started logging my food...yesterday it read 241.6...I'm not even doing anything drastic, just trying to keep my calories under 2000 per day and watching the junk food. But I'm not depriving myself - I've had pizza, a couple of beers, brownies, chips, I still eat cheese and nuts and my beloved popcorn (although I've switched to a buttery spray instead of butter on top). I am ... Sun, 4 Jun 2017 07:06:38 EST Work / New Therapist Back to work -- and my boss is amazing! Rather than try to re-learn a job I didn't care for or understand, only to leave it in a month, she has offered me an opportunity to work on a project that will keep me busy and use my writing talents, creating a quality control procedural document for the job I used to have and loved. <BR> <BR> CBT therapist is wonderful - first meeting went great and even though it was a 'getting to know you' type meting, she still pointed out a few issues that appar... Fri, 2 Jun 2017 06:14:38 EST Random Mini Updates Still tracking...cannot believe I've lasted this long! Yesterday I ate / was more hungry than usual lately and I think it was due to stress of going back to work today. I'm not really stressed but I think, deep down, I am feeling a bit anxious, I haven't done my job in 5 months, I can't remember a lot, etc....but I keep reminding myself it is only for one month, I can do this. <BR> <em>589</em> <BR> <BR> <BR> Seeing the behavioral therapist for initial appointment today - I hope this wi... Thu, 1 Jun 2017 05:56:46 EST Scale Moving Down - Tracking Works I have stuck with the tracking for almost two weeks now and it really is becoming a habit, not as painful as I thought, even when I have to admit to some not-so-healthy choices. Somehow it is keeping me in line in terms of not grazing all day long, watching my portion sizes (I need to get better at this), really weighing my options in terms of what to eat - (Snack dilemma: oatmeal and a peach or a stack of cookies? -- the oatmeal and peach won!)....and I am very VERY happy to report that the ... Tue, 30 May 2017 08:00:33 EST Random Updates and Thoughts Tomorrow is my appointment with my oncologist for blood work and to discuss the next step, oral meds for the next 5-10 years. I really need to make sure he understands that medication which hints at weight gain as a side effect is really not my idea of a good choice. I don't want the cancer to return but I'm fighting an uphill battle with my weight as it is, I don't need to have this battle be any any harder if I can avoid it. Hopefully we can discuss different medication choices. <BR> <BR> ... Mon, 29 May 2017 06:48:57 EST Good Day but Support Isn't There Went out to lunch with a friend, looked up the calories on the menu before hand, and got a grilled cheese with tomato soup instead of a cheeseburger and fries. Came in under my daily goal, too, while meeting my carbs, protein, and fiber numbers. Never thought I'd say I am enjoying tracking but I actually am having fun with it and it's keeping my accountable! <BR> <BR> So I'm feeling pretty good about this and DD decides to be in one of her talking moods and the next thing I know, I'm being ... Sat, 27 May 2017 06:30:06 EST Dress / Walking I found a dress to wear for the upcoming wedding next month - it is all one piece, black skirt white sleeveless top, with a jacket that has a black, blue, and white print...the skirt long enough to cover my knees but not too long (I'm only 5'2") and the jacket is longer in the front, very flowy, gives the illusion of height and covers the bat wings. Don't even need any under-shaping garment to make it look better. I feel dressed up but not covered in "bling" like some of the other things I tr... Fri, 26 May 2017 07:25:48 EST Good News for a Change Very happy to report that I have been consistently tracking my food all week -- this is a huge accomplishment, I have written many, many times about my dislike of having to track my food but I have finally done it for an entire 7 days, I feel like celebrating! I even came really close to my calorie goals, a bit over or under each day, I think the average will be just right. So now I may cut myself back by 50-100 calories for the upcoming week - not a huge drop but that's okay, I want to make... Thu, 25 May 2017 07:20:53 EST Good News for a Change Very happy to report that I have been consistently tracking my food all week -- this is a huge accomplishment, I have written many, many times about my dislike of having to track my food but I have finally done it for an entire 7 days, I feel like celebrating! I even came really close to my calorie goals, a bit over or under each day, I think the average will be just right. So now I may cut myself back by 50-100 calories for the upcoming week - not a huge drop but that's okay, I want to make... Thu, 25 May 2017 07:20:18 EST Radiation is DONE To say I am extremely excited that radiation is over is an understatement...I am finally done with daily scorching of tender skin, finally don't have a commitment of every day having to be at the cancer center, finally at the point where my life can start moving forward. Yes, there will be oral medication and doctor appointments, but it certainly won't be like it has been, where I've been "in treatment" and "going through" chemo or radiation...I feel like a giant weight has been lifted and I'... Tue, 23 May 2017 08:16:42 EST Three Days in a Row This tracking thing is working, I cannot believe I have not thrown in the towel yet (only 3 days so far but it's keeping me in line with my calorie goals). I even had ice cream and pizza - but, I have NOT been binge nibbling through my days, I'm drinking more water, I'm not skipping meals and then snacking non-stop on junk...okay, three days is not enough reason to post a success story yet but at least it is three days of sticking to something which, for me, is a huge accomplishment! <BR> <B... Sun, 21 May 2017 07:50:35 EST