SDLEE514's SparkPeople Blog SDLEE514's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Eat Less, Lose Weight (shocking! and check in) oh hey Spark friends...been awhile. I made it through the holidays and am in a better place since my last blog. Things aren't perfect but that just means there's always something to strive for right? <BR> <BR> I kind of compartmentalize my life so I guess I'll approach this that way. My day job is still slow. We're still in a hiring freeze and since the main thing that I and my team do is hiring, we're still in a lull. I'm sort of twiddling my thumbs and waiting for all these things they ... Mon, 18 Apr 2016 17:24:50 EST Something has got to give Oy. I am feeling more and more like I've reached a breaking point. Like what am I doing with my life sort of existential crisis. I can't seem to focus on anything. My job is slow. My jewelry business is a failure. All that talk of me saying once I telework from home I'll work out more and eat better and sleep more? yeah no, none of that. <BR> <BR> Between balancing those things and being frustrated with my business and personal life, it feels like nothing im trying is working. I'm trying... Thu, 17 Dec 2015 11:02:38 EST Anniversaries Anniversaries can, and should, be celebrated for all sorts of things. I'm feeling simultaneously stuck and rejuvenated regarding two anniversaries I had in my life. September 28th last year I realized a long-time dream of mine to start selling my jewelry (that I had been making and designing for over 8 years) but didn't have the courage to make the leap into a small business. Now, a year after opening my Etsy site, independent online shop, and participating in numerous craft fairs, I can't s... Mon, 26 Oct 2015 14:46:45 EST Vacation pics and check in Hey spark friends. I'm in need of "evaluate where I'm at" moment. Since I last blogged I took an amazing vacation to the Pacific Northwest, survived Labor Day weekend/my bf's birthday, and had another craft fair this past weekend. In 2 days we are leaving for an extended weekend away to North Carolina for a wedding and the weekend after that I'm going up to boston for a family weekend. Phew. <BR> <BR> I could share so much about our Pacific Northwest trip, but here are just a few pics: <i... Tue, 15 Sep 2015 15:17:20 EST My DUH conclusion I apologize in advance if this gets rambling. I am back at square one. Again. I felt the need to take a step back and take a full look at what's going on. (Nothing like seeing pictures of yourself to reevaluate!) I started seriously sparking back in August 2012 and I now weight what I did then. I literally analyzed 3 years worth of my Spark data, on a month to month basis, looking for trends in what I was doing, how I looked and felt, and naturally, my weight. I have been gaining slowly sin... Tue, 11 Aug 2015 10:53:00 EST It is what it is Phew. This summer has sort of been a whirlwind, mostly in a good way, but also feeling like I'm living out of my suitcase, which combined with working full time and having a side business, is kind of stressful. <BR> <BR> Recap since my last blog. <BR> <BR> May - I had my first craft fair, went to NYC for a little weekend getaway, survived our 8 year anniversary without too much of a melt down (maybe), went sailing over memorial day weekend, and flew home to attend my bestie's bridal showe... Sun, 2 Aug 2015 12:36:24 EST April check in As I’ve mentioned previously, I’m trying to get back into being more involved here and be accountable. I do appreciate ALL of your comments from my last post, I wanted to thank you each individually for taking the time to offer advice (even tough love, which I totally need) and support. Nothing has changed with respect to my BF. Our anniversary that I mentioned is quickly approaching next month. I’m just trying not to think about it. <BR> April was off to a rough start. My mom sent ... Thu, 23 Apr 2015 15:13:53 EST Recommitting and (trying to) Finding Balance Things haven’t gotten a whole lot better since my last entry. I’m still in a major funk. Recap. Start of the year I started a new workout routine, I didn’t like that so much and even though it was supposed to go through Valentine’s day…I didn’t like it so I wasn’t motivated so that completely dropped off. Valentine’s day was awesome…my boyfriend and I saw David Cook in concert on Friday as an early treat (I just love him, and my bf has a serious mancrush on him) we were ... Mon, 30 Mar 2015 16:45:53 EST Checking in Spark friends! I need to spend more time with you. Collectively of course, and just here in general. I'm in a bad place. I'm starting to not care about anything anymore and its a slippery slope. My self esteem has plummeted. I'm trying to work out but completely unmotivated. I'm just not caring what I eat. In the past week alone I've consumed dominos, an entire box of wheat thins, ben&jerry's, buffalo wings, and much more incredibly unhealthy things. I hate on my body on a daily basis. I... Fri, 6 Feb 2015 17:51:46 EST I miss Spark! Hello friends!! I've been mia far too long and I realized I really missed it. I miss the support and catching up with everyone and sharing my goals and happenings. So recap. Sept 25th I got a new job offer. Sept 28th I opened my Etsy jewelry shop. Oct 19th I started my new job. 3 months after opening my etsy shop I've made enough that I have to claim it as second income (I am by no means complaining, just exciting and busy!) and then the holidays 2 thanksgivings and 2 Christmases it's been a ... Mon, 29 Dec 2014 09:07:08 EST Update on the job front I recently blogged that I got a new job!! It came so fast--I got the offer on 9/25 and I needed to fill in my forms by Monday 9/29. Well, I did, and even though the HR guy hasn't been the most responsive, he sent me an email--BEFORE I even received my final offer letter, that he wanted me onboard by 10/20. Ummm I haven't even told my employers because I was waiting for the final offer. And, my salary is actually still tentative (before you say anything, I work for the government which has a... Mon, 6 Oct 2014 10:51:45 EST Etsy shop!! Pardon me while I shamelessly promote the opening of my Etsy shop!!!! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> can also "like" my page at <BR> Instagram: designsbyslw <BR> Pinterest: sdlee514 and I have a board you can follow that's just my jewelry. <BR> <BR> So happy!!! This has been a labor of love for a long time. I know it's not health/fitness related but I just had to... Mon, 29 Sep 2014 08:24:05 EST NEWS! I got a new job offer!!!! I'm still processing. I can't believe my life (because let's face it, work is a big part of your life) will be changing so quickly. For those of you who read my blogs regularly I've been complaining about my work for a while. I like my work itself but my management has been HORRIBLE. Back several months ago after I was told I wouldn't get my next promotion (without even a review of my performance) I was so frustrated that I sent my resume off to a couple jobs and ki... Fri, 26 Sep 2014 10:40:52 EST September check in (rant alert!) This blog is going to get quite ranty so if you're not into that, consider yourself warned. <BR> <BR> I haven't been keeping up with my September plan. I've missed several planned workouts and/or they changed to walking rather than a specific hard-core cardio session as planned. Walking is not exactly the same as a full-blown heart pumping cardio session, so yeah, haven't been up to par in that department. I've been better about planning my breakfasts/lunches for the week but still have had ... Mon, 15 Sep 2014 10:34:57 EST Vacation road trip & September plans So, I didn't get to where I wanted to be as far as weight loss/fitness goals before my vacation. Oh well, I'm over it. Vacation was wonderful, spending time with friends and family and people I don't live near was really great. Plus we had beautiful weather and it was super fun playing tourists, even if it was in our own home states (Mass for me, VT for my bf, plus NH to visit a couple friends of ours). <BR> <BR> In all, we visited four wineries, two distilleries, a cidery, a cheese factory,... Tue, 2 Sep 2014 21:35:01 EST Weekend getaway and August plans Here it is Monday and I find myself needing to regroup and recommit. Again. But cest' la vie, I've been trying to enjoy my summer--its always been my favorite time of year. <BR> <BR> I've been working my butt off at work trying to prove I am deserving of my promotion, so when I get home, the last thing I feel like doing is being more productive. <BR> <BR> Last weekend, not this past weekend, my boyfriend and I took a little weekend getaway to Shenandoah, which was truly the perfect getaway... Mon, 4 Aug 2014 12:30:06 EST On my mind lately First of all, I just want to say a big thank you to all of you especially on my last blog for all your support and encouragement! And for helping me feel not so alone and for understanding that sometimes we just get into funks, and thats okay. Your words are truly appreciated. <BR> <BR> I'm feeling a little better than that last blog. I know I need to focus on things I CAN control, and I usually do have that mindset, sometimes I just get caught up. One thing at a time. <BR> <BR> <em>534</... Tue, 15 Jul 2014 11:12:01 EST In need of... a hug? <BR> a mental health day? <BR> a yoga and spa session? <BR> an eat-pray-love find my soul type getaway? <BR> <BR> I've been feeling down lately. Like break down. melt down. quarter life crisis. I can't even exactly pin point what it is, which is almost more frustrating than feeling this way. <BR> <BR> I get so caught up in the misery of the daily grind--is this all there is to life? I'm not meal planning. I can't bring myself to do much of anything in evenings, especially if I do wo... Mon, 23 Jun 2014 09:24:50 EST Friends This blog really has nothing to do with Spark or related health/fitness things. I will say I am doing 2 weeks of barre3 online workouts because I have a 2 week trial. And I'm trying to stay within my calories as much as possible and eat healthy. You know, the usual. The three pound loss that showed up recently was bloat loss post bad eating wedding weekend. <BR> <BR> Anyways, I'm feeling a bit blue right now and need to get it out. I'm kind of down on myself because I don't have a lot of fr... Mon, 19 May 2014 16:36:13 EST Posing for pics (with pics!) I'm in full beat myself up mode right now and I need to snap out of it. The wedding that I've been talking about was this past weekend, the one where the bride asked me to do a reading in the ceremony. I guess I did well, people I obviously didn't know (since I pretty much only knew the bride and groom and a couple of the wedding party) kept coming up to me after saying what a wonderful job I did. More importantly, the wedding was wonderful, the bride looked gorgeous, the weather held out, th... Tue, 13 May 2014 11:12:26 EST Giving in Well folks, as most of you know who regularly follow me, I have a wedding coming up this weekend, where I will be standing up in front of everybody doing the first reading. And I had wanted to cut sugar, alcohol, carbs for 4 weeks prior to it and make some progress weight/toning wise. So I'm trying not to be so negative and say I outright failed, but yeah that's pretty much what happened. <BR> <BR> I'm debating about not weighing myself this week because if I don't like what it says (and I c... Mon, 5 May 2014 11:03:07 EST I ate PASTA Boys, I'm sorry, so stop reading if you don't want to read about girl problems. <BR> <BR> It's TOM. And I'm tired and craving nothing but chocolate and carbs. I've been over my calories (by like 500-600, from my upper range) the past TWO days. I have however worked out the last few days, and I've surpassed 1000 fitness minutes for April! <BR> <BR> But, back to my issues at hand. Ever since my last blog my approach has been to just focus on tracking everything, even if its "bad food" in my m... Wed, 30 Apr 2014 10:17:28 EST I don't get it Despite my last blog where I proclaimed that I'm done, I've been doing some analyzing on my historical Spark reports. I really don't get why I am NINE lbs heavier than my lowest I've reached on this journey. <BR> <BR> According to my reports, I weigh the same as when I seriously began Sparking back in August of '12. My lowest weight occurred Nov 12, dec 12, jan 13 (how did I manage that through holiday season?!) may 13, and oct 13. I have been steadily gaining weight since oct 13, about 8 lb... Wed, 23 Apr 2014 09:53:40 EST I'm DONE I'm done starting over. <BR> I'm done worrying about everything I eat. <BR> I'm done trying to cut out foods only to fail. <BR> I'm done easing up on myself convincing myself to "live a little" only to regret it later. <BR> I'm done being insecure with my body. <BR> I'm done worrying about how I look, especially in pictures. <BR> I'm done stressing about bikini/wedding/showing skin season. <BR> I'm done comparing myself to others. <BR> I'm done feeling like I'm not working out enough. <BR> I'... Mon, 21 Apr 2014 11:23:36 EST 25 days to make a change Alright friends, time to get serious. <BR> <BR> Its Monday, after a whirlwind weekend flying up to Boston for a bachelorette party, with 25 days to that wedding. I need to step up my game. I'm feeling really motivated but I'm also afraid 25 days isn't enough time and I'm setting myself up for failure. I want to cut all sugar, carbs (except naturally occurring in veggies and dairy), and alcohol. <BR> <BR> First, the fun stuff. I was finally feeling incrementally better by Friday, and Saturda... Mon, 14 Apr 2014 08:36:23 EST Sick and off track Ugh. Came down with my bf's cold. I'm just so glad it didn't happen over my vacation, as it seemed to have started for him just before I left. But yeah, being sick is never fun. I'm only at work today b/c I have to conduct training this afternoon. Everyone's been saying how puffy I look and that my nose is red. Gee, thanks. I actually did go home yesterday. Wish I could just take the week off but we can only take 3 days without a doctors' note. <BR> <BR> Anyways, where has the time gone sinc... Tue, 8 Apr 2014 09:05:49 EST Vacation pics, finally! So as many of you may know, I took a much needed vacation recently with my sister, to the Azores! Specifically, the single island in the Azores of Sao Miguel. I got back on Monday, and I'm still trying to get back into the swing of things and be motivated to work, hard to do! <BR> <BR> The trip was incredible, we were there for a week. I'd never been to anywhere in Europe before (the Azores is technically part of Portugal, even though its pretty far off the coast and pretty much self-sustain... Thu, 3 Apr 2014 09:34:34 EST Not a pity party I will NOT allow this blog to become a pity party. However, let me just get it out of the way that I haven't done an Insanity workout since the 6th (a recovery one) and I haven't done a "real" Insanity video (cardio) since the 1st. And while I'm none too happy about that, I'm done. So done with Insanity. okay maybe not quite yet. But I'm done with wallowing over the fact that I didn't finish "as planned." Still did pretty dang well. <BR> <BR> I had to listen to my body. My back was tweaked ... Thu, 13 Mar 2014 13:14:18 EST Discouraged--new approach I'm trying not to beat myself up too much and throw in the towel because thats exactly what I feel like doing. I'm around 3 days behind in Insanity. And I don't plan on doing it today b/c my back is bothering me. I really wanted to do it as outlined basically to prove to myself that I could stick to it and do it. I haven't been good about eating but I was still hoping for noticeable change in my muscle tone, my weight definitely hasn't budged. I keep fluctuating; from my last blog I do belie... Sun, 2 Mar 2014 14:23:11 EST NSV proof in pics I've really been struggling feeling like I'm working SO hard with my Insanity and not fitting into pants and not losing any weight that I decided to take a step back and look back on how far I've come to remind myself of what I've accomplished. <BR> <BR> Yes, everyone always says don't rely on the scale. Unfortunately, I have a hard time kicking that habit. I've been feeling like I'm close to my starting point, and I am, in weight. But not in stamina. Or in muscles. Or my attitude about my b... Thu, 20 Feb 2014 17:21:16 EST A Valentine's Day message to my Spark friends <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Whether it be figuratively or literally, today is a day dedicated to love. As you show love for others' don't forget yourself! <BR> <BR> Also, it is perfectly acceptable to love yourself with a piece of chocolate today. Or two. Or three. <em>211</em> <BR> <BR> <em>129</em> Fri, 14 Feb 2014 10:42:13 EST Body realities, thoughts on BL, Insanity check in I'm going to try to keep this blog positive but I can't promise anything. It's been a stressful week (conducting training all week, TOM, luckily the stars aligned that it was recovery week for Insanity, I would NOT have had the motivation to keep up the work outs). I just have a lot of thoughts running around in my head and I'm trying to relax. <BR> <BR> First off, TWICE this week I put on pants in the morning and had to change because they didn't fit. I had to un-retire pants I had put in... Fri, 7 Feb 2014 11:10:40 EST Insanity-3 week check in Guys! I've completed 3 weeks of Insanity. I had a couple days in there where I had to mix up rest days and workout days but I haven't actually missed a workout and I stayed on track. WHOOO HOOOO!! I've done programs before and tried to stay on track, Jillians 90 day, etc. but I was bad about actually doing them as planned and had to double up on days, etc. then life got in the way and I didn't finish exactly in three months. I am determined to make it through Insanity as outlined and on time,... Mon, 27 Jan 2014 11:30:42 EST Yes, another A-Z, but about me :) First off, thanks to those who commented on my last couple blogs, lots of great support and advice in there, I just haven't be able to respond and thank you individually, but it is very much appreciated! <BR> <BR> Now for the fun, I can't pass these things up lol. Reminds me of being back in middle school passing these around to all your friends, guess that much hasn't really changed lol. <BR> <BR> A is for Age: 27 <BR> B is for Booze: Anything with St. Germain (elderflower liquor), also ... Wed, 22 Jan 2014 15:27:41 EST ATTENTION all cat owners! Seeking advice about a common cat is up ALL NIGHT. And keeps me up all night! I am a very light sleeper and she is always getting into things, causing a raucous, knocking things off, etc. One of her favorite things to do is climb up on our refrigerator and paw and the cabinets, opening and letting them slam shut. <BR> <BR> I realize, I may get a lot of "what did you expect!? she's a cat!" type responses and while it is kind of ludicrous, its really hindering my sleep. And as we... Thu, 16 Jan 2014 09:28:25 EST Insanity week 1 wrap up and check in on New Year's resolutions I have finished week 1 of Insanity!! I started it on Monday the 6th. I took before pictures, weight, and measurements. I plan on posting before/after pictures if, no WHEN, I complete the program. Really hoping for a noticeable change. Day 1 was the fit test only, which if you are familiar at all with Insanity, its I think 8 different cardio movements and you do each of them for a minute, seeing how many you can complete. Obviously, you improve if you can complete more in a minute. My startin... Tue, 14 Jan 2014 11:00:59 EST (one of) my favorite Christmas gifts! Is this: <BR> <img src=""> <BR> It's an Aquazinger, and I swear I'm not trying to sell you anything. My bf's sister gave it to me because she loves hers so much. Basically you can infuse your water (or juice) with anything, fruit, herbs, etc. I was skeptical myself why its so different than say, just adding a few pieces of fruit to your water, but if you can see from the pic, the little base of the bottle has a container for fruits, etc.... Thu, 2 Jan 2014 09:45:33 EST Another requisite New Year blog Christmas was fun, too much time at home but I was kind of bracing for that. My last blog said I was dreading it and it pretty much played out how I anticipated, my bf and I didn't spend it together but I tried to make the most of my family time. <BR> <BR> Here are a couple pictures: <BR> <img src=""> <BR> I hate that picture of me. My face looks so chubby and I have a double chin. My kitty looks evil lol. <BR> Here's a better picture... Mon, 30 Dec 2013 11:28:52 EST Somewhat dreading Christmas Yup, I am. I love the traditions of Christmas and seeing my family/extended family so I am looking forward to going home for that, but I feel like I was JUST home for Thanksgiving. And over Thanksgiving I had about as much time home as I could stand. Christmas will be even longer. I love my family dearly, but after a few days its like get me out of here. I need some peace and quiet and the ability to do what I want; something I don't get at home. <BR> <BR> Secondly, my sister is going throu... Mon, 16 Dec 2013 14:06:22 EST #SparktheSeason December Christmas is my favorite time of year! Always has been, I just love the merriness of Christmas carols, the decorations, and getting into the spirit. It's waned a little as I've gotten older (stressing about sharing holidays with the bf, what gifts to get people etc.) but still, bring it on! <em>447</em> <BR> <BR> November was kind of a break even month for me. I wasn't on track food wise as I would have liked to have been, but I did set a personal record for an exercise streak of 23 day... Mon, 2 Dec 2013 16:40:16 EST #Fit2feast Fail So sadly, my streak ended yesterday <em>46</em> <BR> <BR> I did 23 days of daily exercise for #fit2feast. Which I do believe is a personal record for me but still, I really wanted to keep it going just a few days longer until I left to travel home for thanksgiving. Coming up just short (3 days) feels like failing. But, its not! I had a good streak and I already passed my 700 monthly fitness minutes which is more than I did last month. <BR> <BR> Last week I wanted to end on a high note... Mon, 25 Nov 2013 10:20:42 EST 1 year, 10lb maintaining Happy Friday friends! Just a quick happy blog for once. I feel like I always blog when I'm beating myself up after a binge/slip up. But today, and maybe its the workout endorphins talking, I'm feeling good. Last November I hit the 10lb weight loss mark and I'm still hovering steady on that mark. At my lowest I've hit about a 13lb loss and on bad days I've only lost about 6 lbs. Still, we're only talking a few lbs here and there. But on me, I can tell since I'm so petite. And while I'm not qui... Fri, 15 Nov 2013 10:47:29 EST #fit2feast and weekend recap I really need to step it up from now until Thanksgiving. While I've been keeping up with the #fit2feast challenge, I've been slacking big time on food. I was only on track 3 days last week and this past weekend was terrible foodwise. <BR> <BR> Friday I got a quick workout in after work and between going out for the night, we had plans for dinner and a comedy show (John Oliver) with friends. I drank a couple too many--when you're a young professional in DC pretty much any restaurant that you ... Tue, 12 Nov 2013 10:58:21 EST #fit2feast November If I don't do anything else from now until Thanksgiving (and then hopefully the rest of November) it's to do the #fit2feast challenge. 10 min of exercise a day. That's it. Easy, right? Let's hope. <BR> <BR> I usually don't mind adding a few extra minutes in once I start, as they say, the hardest part is just starting and doing it. So I'm hoping this challenge will keep me up to my monthly fitness minutes which is still set for 700. I didn't get there last month, which was totally inexcusable... Mon, 4 Nov 2013 10:43:34 EST A picture check in blog There are 32 days until Thanksgiving. 33 if you count all the things you can do today to make progress and stay on track. <BR> <BR> I am checking in today because this weekend has been bad. Friday and Saturday involved lots of pizza. And my bf did the grocery shopping, coming home with Wheat thins (I don't remember the last time I had them and they are a trigger food, I will sit and eat the whole box) and a bag of Halloween candy. I was kind of mad. I had several pieces that night then made ... Sun, 27 Oct 2013 10:51:13 EST What is wrong with me?! I feel like absolute crap this morning. And (hopefully) not in a sick way. I am just absolutely exhausted, my back is pinched and in pain, and I kind of feel nauseas and I have no idea why. It's all I can do not to curl up into a ball right now and fall asleep at my desk. <BR> <BR> I haven't been on track calories since last Wednesday. So much for my only 7 days this month that I allotted for. I don't know why its so dang hard for me to just say no and not eat what I want to eat. Thursday I... Mon, 21 Oct 2013 09:30:17 EST Weekend wrap up... Thank you to all of you for your comments and support from my last was really comforting to know my irritated feelings weren't completely crazy. Sometimes you just need someone on your side and to justify your thoughts lol. I told my bf I was kind of irritated with my friend and he didn't understand it all, I just got the impression he thought I was an ungrateful b*tch of a friend :( no good. <BR> <BR> So as it turns out, I did have fun over the weekend but things got even more aw... Tue, 15 Oct 2013 10:52:13 EST Kind of irritated--not spark related So I mentioned last blog that I had friends coming to visit this weekend, another couple will be staying with us 3 nights. I am soooo excited and this friend means a lot to me, she basically introduced me to my bf. However, and I feel so selfish for even thinking this, but I am....I am being gracious enough to host them (and we really dont have a lot of space, and she hates cats, so I will be offering them our own bed in the bedroom so she doesn't have to deal with the cat at night) but, she ... Wed, 9 Oct 2013 08:23:36 EST October Well, I made it through yesterday. The first of Oct, the first of the government fiscal year, and the first day of the shutdown. For now, I'm working but they are uncertain how long we'll be funded and if the IDIOTS in Congress don't figure things out who knows what will happen. Sorry, just getting very pent up about this whole situation. Trying to take one day at a time and not let the uncertainty of it all get me stressed. <BR> <BR> My goals for October are simple, try to reach my monthly ... Wed, 2 Oct 2013 09:39:13 EST Hoping for the best I work for the government. The government may shut down tomorrow. I may get furloughed. I don't do well with uncertainty. However, I've told myself that I will be "okay" if that happens, to make the best of it, and to take it as an opportunity to be productive. Focus on more exercise. Get things done around the apartment. And, depending on how long it lasts, FINALLY open my Etsy jewelry shop that my friends and family have been pestering me to start selling my stuff. <BR> <BR> That, in comb... Mon, 30 Sep 2013 12:06:55 EST