SCRAPPER1124's SparkPeople Blog SCRAPPER1124's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community A loss makes you think... I feel like all I do is restart and restart my diet efforts. Life always seems to get in the way and I have a hard time making myself a priority or give myself the time to eat well. I just had one of big life's blow as I just lost my mom. It was a bit unexpected as she seemed to be doing well but it's something I knew could happen. She had stage 4 cancer for the last 3 years but was the most resilient person you had ever seen. She was still running to the stores and doing errands in between ... Mon, 16 Jun 2014 06:54:08 EST Time to restart again! I don't know what it is ??? I'll start off strong in my focus to stay on target with my eating and then, life, holidays, stress happens and it's all down hill for a few months until I can regroup and get back to focusing. If I had a few pounds to lose like 20-25 I'd be fine but I have about 130-140lbs to go, so I need that long term focus of about a year and a half to get it all off. I just keep restating and not getting too far. On a positive note I didn't regain every pound I lost. I held o... Sat, 17 May 2014 10:46:10 EST Low carb confused. Spent a good part of the day today looking into low carb diets. There are a bunch out there. The Atkins one has carbs ranging from 20-75 carbs a day. I looked at my tracker and saw I was always at the high end of my 174-304 range. That's a big difference from the higher 75. I've been kind of gaining and losing the same 2-3 pounds this last month, but I haven't also been consistent. I don't know if I should try something new or stick with what I know and just be more consistent. I can't say th... Sun, 9 Mar 2014 01:05:32 EST well the experiment is over I started an experiment last week and said I wasn't going to weigh myself for the whole month since I had been weighing myself every day. I had been getting frustrated with all the fluctuations on the scale every day and just wanted to give up. So I started out my experiment last week and didn't weigh myself. What I found out was that I actually did worse. I stopped tracking as much and missed almost the whole week of exercise. It sounds weird but it was like out of sight out of mind. I start... Sun, 9 Feb 2014 22:05:49 EST A new experiment I've been feeling down this week because I have been gaining weight even with doing all the "right" things, eating in range, water, exercise. With my perfectionist mentality I've been thinking, why bother with all of this dieting stuff if I'm only going to gain weight not lose. I put it out there on a few of my team board threads and have been really taking to heart all the good points that everyone mentioned. I used this week to look through Spark for answers and inspiration. I've come to so... Fri, 31 Jan 2014 21:53:20 EST A little bummed I know I shouldn't do it but I weigh myself every day. I got on the scale this am and gained another pound <em>39</em> That's up 2 pounds since Monday. I was feeling so good on Monday too since I had hit my goal for the week. I know I have to keep telling myself it fluctuates but it's just annoying. I have been eating in my calorie count even on the lower side and hitting the treadmill for an hour each night ughhhh. I almost feel like why exercise if I don't see any benefit. I know most ... Thu, 23 Jan 2014 07:10:15 EST Finally got on the treadmill! I'm very excited!!!! I was planning it out all yesterday, when I was going to do it each day, at what time, what would I listen too/watch, for how long. I'm very excited that I actually followed through with it and didn't just write it down and analyze it to death. I came home from work later than I thought I would. Normally that would have thrown me off there and I would have not bothered if it wasn't perfect. That's the all or nothing mentality rearing it's ugly head again. But I got home a... Mon, 13 Jan 2014 23:51:31 EST The holiday calories are finally done! Well the holidays are finally done. It was just one calorie fest from Thanksgiving to New Years. I didn't do too bad I gain about 5 pounds. The worst thing is the lost time. I'm a bit behind on my timeline about 10 pounds behind. But I'm not too worried. I'm actually looking forward to getting back to my schedule and having the scale go down again. I know it works when I'm on plan so that's a bit comforting. The other smaller holidays like Valentine's day and Easter etc... don't really effect... Thu, 2 Jan 2014 00:02:45 EST What is up with the scale????? What is up with my scale? I think it's possessed <em>18</em> I figure out waht makes my weight fluctuate on the scale so much. I usually weigh myself every morning. Like this week. I weighed myself one morning and I was 272.8. I was soooo excited. The next day I was273.4 then 275 whattttttt. I didn't eat anything "bad", I drank all my water, got sleep so why does that happen? This isn't the first time in the last 2 months either. I even woke up one morning weighed myself, didn't do anythi... Mon, 16 Dec 2013 22:15:32 EST Finally the ghost of Thanksgiving past is gone. I'm very excited to finally see the scale moving in the right direction after Thanksgiving. It took about 2 weeks to get back on track toward my Christmas small goal to be under 270 by Christmas. I have 3 more pounds to go! I'm going to push hard to regain some of my lost time. I think even more than the lost pounds, I'm more happy with the fact that I didn't fall off the wagon and just up and quit. That's what usually happens, over and over, but I decided to just let the process happen. Pati... Sat, 14 Dec 2013 20:42:22 EST Thanksgiving.... ugh I weighed myself after the Thanksgiving holiday and found that I gained 5 pounds ughhh. I don't think I really ate 5 pounds of calories so I'm sure some is water weight. It's just annoying that I was plugging along at 2 pounds a week and closing in on my next goal. I'm more annoyed at the lost time than the weight itself. In the past this setback would derail me but I'm going to keep plugging along and think of it as a little bump in the road on this journey of weight loss. Tue, 3 Dec 2013 10:03:55 EST A binge scare. I've been chugging along and then out of the blue. I just wanted to eat everything in sight tonight. I ate dinner and then just wanted to keep eating and eating. I wasn't hungry just wanting everything. I ate a bowl of cereal, pudding snack cups, pop chips, and some fun size candy bars left over from Halloween. It was almost like an outer body experience. Just trying to think things through and curious why? The feeling lasted about 2 hours and now it's gone? It's strange because I haven't be... Fri, 22 Nov 2013 23:27:09 EST OMG Salt! Since I've been tracking my food religiously these last few weeks I just noticed something..... I eat A LOT of salt. I knew I was pretty much a saltaholic before as I would add salt to everything. Since starting spark again I've been trying to refrain from the shaker. I never realized how much salt is in all the foods we eat. When I starting looking at each item on my tracker I was shocked. I've been averaging about 3,000-4,000mg a day. I don't have high blood pressure at all but I do retain... Sun, 17 Nov 2013 21:51:17 EST sweets/desert after a meal. I'm struggling with needing to eat something sweet or like desert after I eat dinner or a late afternoon meal. After breakfast I'm okay lunch is a bit more iffy but after diner ughhhh. I feel like it "seals" the meal or completes it. If I don't have desert I will tend to keep eating as if the meals not over? Growing up we usually had a desert after dinner as well, but you would think being close to 50 I would have outgrown that <em>30</em> I've tried low cal deserts like low fat puddling,... Sat, 19 Oct 2013 02:53:48 EST maximum restarts Is there a maximum times you can fall off the wagon and restart again? I feel like I last a few weeks and then something happens in life and I get distracted and stop focusing on myself and put Sparking to the back burner and tend to "life". Maybe I have dieting ADHD? <em>211</em> It's very hard for me to put myself first. I know I need to though but just not easy to execute it. Well, hopefully this is the last restart. <em>104</em> Mon, 3 Jun 2013 22:34:04 EST Trying to make a come back. It has been a very slow go trying to stay on track. I feel like I'll do well for a few weeks then fall off the wagon, then back again. The good thing is my weight doesn't fluctuate too much. If I gain a few pounds it does come back off so I'm not going up a lot just not really getting anywhere. <BR> I just had some recent surgery to remove my gallbladder, something that happened very out of the blue. I think it did make me think about my overall health and my age. I'm now 47 and age is creep... Sat, 6 Apr 2013 00:54:52 EST Bye, Bye, scale In my last Bog I mentioned that I was a bit concerned about gaining weight when I introduced exercise. I thought what the heck. How can I be doing all the right healthy things and gain weight? I have to admit, I'm a bit of a type A personality when I start something. So if I start to diet everything has to be perfect. I can't "wing it" at all so to speak. Everything needs to be planned out. I have to set goals and deadlines in place to challenge myself. I need to meet those goals by a certain... Wed, 16 May 2012 21:45:56 EST How can I be gaining weight with exercise? Okay I'm probably not the only one this happens too but I feel like the diet gods are just messing with me. I've been staying within my food points and drinking water for the last 3 weeks and lost 14lbs. So I figured I should start adding in exercise. In the past if I just restricted my food intake it slowed my metabolism to a snail's pace. So I started walking over the last few days. I have been doing about 3 miles a day, which is a push for me being 280lbs. I weigh myself everyday. I have... Tue, 15 May 2012 07:19:33 EST 1st day of exercise! Woo Hoo- very excited that I got enough motivation to exercise tonight. I was trying to decide if I should exercise at night or in the morning, I figured I might as well just start doing it one day at a time. <em>104</em> I did the treadmill for 60 minutes at 2.5 speed so 2.5 miles. yeah! I'm trying to work up to 3 miles. I have a 5k in mind as a goal in the way off future. One step at a time <em>334</em> Sun, 13 May 2012 02:18:03 EST Help! What time of day to exercise? Here's my dilemma, I am a die hard night owl and get to bed around 12:00 if I'm lucky. I get up at 6:30 for work. I want to start using my treadmill for exercise but can't decide on a plan to commit to. In the past if I exercise in the morning (get up 5:15-5:30) I am very sluggish the whole day. It tires me out. If I exercise at night it does help me de-stress from the day and sleep better. If I do it at night say 8:00-9:00 (I get home from work around 7:30) more things tend to get in the way... Fri, 11 May 2012 23:10:51 EST Positive week. Well 3 weeks is gone and 14 pounds gone as well, hopefully never to be seen again. I did achieve all my goals this week. I wanted to eat in range, drink my water and to try a new Spark recipe. I'm trying to add a new recipe each week. I've been doing a lot of the slow cooker ones and they are great. Throw it in the pot and your done. I was getting so tired of eating the same meals over and over each week. This next week's big challenge is to add in exercise. I'm starting out on the treadmill... Mon, 7 May 2012 00:10:25 EST Having a good Spark Day! I've been back 2 weeks now to Spark again after off for a year. I weighed in this morning and down 4 pounds more for a total of 10 in 2 weeks. I don't get too excited about it since most of it is water weight. I tend to hold a LOT of water now that I'm so heavy. Drinking the 8 glasses of water a day helps with that also. This next weeks goal is to add in exercising. For me I know if I don't exercise with the dieting my body will think I'm trying to starve it after a little bit and slow my met... Sun, 29 Apr 2012 12:25:32 EST nothing to eat? So, I just started back on Spark last week and things are going well. I've lost 8 pounds so far, getting my waters in, tracking, no real cravings to binge anymore, etc.... but what I'm finding is that I feel like there is nothing to eat. I'll explain, I pretty much eat the same breakfast and lunch with little variation. I don't get bored with it too much and it helps with having enough calories left over for dinner. What I was finding when I came home tonight for dinner was when I was trying ... Wed, 25 Apr 2012 22:53:42 EST Wish this was easier.... Well I'm back to try this yet again. I started what I thought was again after the new year but that didn't last long. Whatever little weight I did lose was gained back. It seems like two steps forward one step back. I can't help but feel like I just lost a whole year. I joined Spark last year in March and here I am a year later back at square one. But I guess I have learned some things along the way: <BR> <BR> 1. I know I'm too addicted to food to have any "bad" foods around me. If they are ... Sun, 22 Apr 2012 04:07:23 EST Here we go round 2! Well it's a late night before I weigh in tomorrow. I'm starting back onto this journey after being on "vacation". After the weigh in to get my new start weight, its on. I think I will have gained back all I lost but I'm not going to give it a second thought. I'm just glad I want to still keep on trying. I know the Spark works, mind you better than anything else I've tried, it's just recommitting myself. So tomorrow.... new start weight and new goals. Them on to a hard week of detox and withd... Mon, 9 Jan 2012 01:32:51 EST When life gets in the way? I put this on the message board but thought I'd blog it too. I'm trying to get back into the swing of things again after being away for a few months. How do you stay on track when life gets in the way? I think there are many of us who are caught in financial struggles, working longer hours, family drama, and illness. I always tend to put all that stuff first and myself later. I feel like I can't help it, I mean when you have to pay your bills and do for your children what can you do? My days ... Mon, 7 Nov 2011 08:00:13 EST Limping back.... Well I feel like its been a few weeks now that I have been messing around off and on with keeping on track with things. It started back in May with my brother's wedding, then my daughters graduation, then Memorial day weekend and so on and so on. I have to say that I only originally gained a few pounds back, where as in the past I would have gone all out and gained it all and then some. I was more upset that I lost time that I could have been losing and getting closer to my goals. I'm a bit o... Wed, 15 Jun 2011 23:29:41 EST Trying to get back in the saddle Ugh. I've been on an eating binder for the last 2 weeks. It started at my brother's wedding and then continued on to this past weekend at my daughter's graduation. I found myself just eating blindly for no reason. Like your in a dream or a trance. Like an out of body experience. I really didn't even want some of the things I was eating. It wasn't like I was feeling "I wish I had a.... " I didn't track. I didn't drink. I didn't exercise. I feel physically like s...p. very tired. Funny though ... Tue, 17 May 2011 23:29:10 EST one pound! Very excited! I have one more pound to go to reach my first 20 lbs down! It's been a long time since I have steadily lost any weight doing any kind of weight loss program. I haven't seen a 27 in front of my weight in 4 years. Looking forward to eventually having a 23 in front of my weight since that hasn't been there since '98'. Sun, 1 May 2011 12:23:21 EST Out of 280's! I was a little nervous about today's weigh-in. I was away all week for Easter and didn't end up working out at all. My food intake was good just no exercising. It seems to really make such a weight loss difference when I don't exercise. I was happy to meet my first goal to be out of the 280's by Easter, but the perfectionist in me was hoping for the 2 pound loss so I could stay on track for my other goals. I'm trying not to be such a scale slave, but it's still a bit too early in all this to ... Tue, 26 Apr 2011 07:51:19 EST A hopefully successful Easter This was my first holiday on Spark. It took a little bit of rethinking to get through it. It's the first holiday with no chips, candy, cakes, eating till I pop. Its hard to break old habits. But I want this more than those foods. I'll be weighing on Tuesday this week since I'm away so we shall see how it goes. I ate okay and did the water, the exercising is what was lacking. So who knows. Its a goal week too so I'm hoping to meet my first SP goal of being under 280. I was at 280 when I left.... Sun, 24 Apr 2011 19:32:50 EST My Secret This might sound kind of strange but I don't really want other people to know that I'm dieting. I did tell my immediate family since they live with me as well as my brothers and sisters but really have kept it to myself at work. I work with mostly women. There are about 4-5 men and about 40 women. I am probably the heaviest one out of them all. Most of them are average weight or fit. I don't want to say anything for 2 reasons. <BR> 1. Because if I fail then everyone will know I gave up. If I... Sun, 17 Apr 2011 01:06:37 EST A little disapointed..... but I weighed in this morning after having a so so week. It was a little depressing because I hadn't really been that bad like a binge but I went over a few hundred calories over the week. I only walked two nights instead of the usual 5. I got on the scale and nothing. I think the old me would have eaten something bad, but the newer me just said I'll have to try harder this week. It makes me a little nervous though because I didn't really stray too much from the norm. I feel like do I need to be ... Sun, 10 Apr 2011 21:10:20 EST A twinge of a binge I went to a bridal shower for my soon to be sister-in law and had a bit of a red light moment. Let me just say first, I'm the kind of person who can't eat just one cookie. If I have one I want the whole bag. So I'm better off not having any. At least right now until I get a lot more weigh-ins under my belt. I've lost 12 lbs in this first month on Spark so I have been feeling pretty good. Back to the shower..... So I'm there and they have all this yummy food there. I did pretty okay with the f... Mon, 4 Apr 2011 23:17:50 EST How did it get so far This new Blog thing is kinda cool. I'm a big talker so the fact that I can sit here and ramble on is pretty awesome. <BR> <BR> I was messing around with my goal weight the other day and exploring how long it would take to lose different amounts and I kind of was getting a little annoyed with myself. To lose the over 150 lbs it will take about a year and a half, with being aggressive with 2lbs a week. Wow that's a lot of time. How did I let it get to this point? Why didn't I nip it in the b... Sat, 2 Apr 2011 02:10:31 EST How many calories!!!!!! Okay this is my first Blog ever (like in my life), so here goes....... <BR> I've been doing well with staying in my allotted calories and tracking all my food. What I have been noticing now that I track everything is that holy smokes there are a lot of very fattening foods out there! All this time I thought I ate a relatively healthy diet (besides the night binges of ice cream and cookies). I figured to lose weight all I needed to do was cut out those binges and it would change so much and be... Fri, 1 Apr 2011 21:57:49 EST