SAVOY1's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=SAVOY1 SAVOY1's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ An observation on youth... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5474497 I spent 3 days this weekend at an equestrian competition with hundreds and hundreds of people, 75% of which were female...ranging in age from 13 to 75...and there were a very large number of these women in the 40-60 group and a good percentage in the 60-70 range as well. <BR> <BR> I spent a lot of time people watching. I also met a number of new people that turned out to be a good several years younger or older than I thought they were based on observation alone. <BR> <BR> And here's what ... Tue, 3 Sep 2013 11:17:17 EST Officially Stating My Goal To-Do List! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5188155 In the spirit of "if nothing changes, nothing changes" I am going to break from tradition and state my goals for January - hopefully clearly and simply. <BR> <BR> By stating these goals somehwat publicly I hope that this will provide some accountability. <BR> <BR> So far as the "how"...I am using a new calendar system I've made for myself, with daily - weekly -monthly goals - rather than what I have done in the past which is periodically write myself a novella of epic proportions outlinin... Thu, 3 Jan 2013 12:32:02 EST Going Through The Motions! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1781816 Lately I've been paying a lot of lip service to fresh starts and new bandwagons...blah blah blah. I am definately putting in more of an effort than Nov/Dec...but it is the bare mimimum workout and calorie reduction in order to actually say I am doing this. It is not enough to get results. I'm treading water and going through the motions. <BR> <BR> Oddly enough, I'm in a really good place otherwise. Seems like I should be hugely motivated and going forward - not stuck. On the other hand... Sun, 8 Feb 2009 20:59:44 EST What a Difference a Day Can Make http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1762798 On Sat I was irritable and combative. <BR> My dog was refusing to eat and shaking and lethargic (after her miracle recovery) <BR> I was lamenting the fact that the weather conditions did not really allow me to ride my horse comfortably or safely. <BR> The roads were such that on the local road to the barn we were pulling over at a sharp narrow turn and passing single file due to deep snow and whiteouts. <BR> I felt overwhelmed with chores and to-dos. <BR> <BR> On Sun I was relaxed and openmi... Mon, 2 Feb 2009 13:35:18 EST Oh yes I can http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1749137 I fought it all afternoon....I wanted into that candy jar at work from 1:30 on...it was nearly unbearable. I drank 3 bottles of water and had 5 pieces of gum. But I did it. It was all psychological. And I was so pleased with myself. Then I spent nearly 2 hours in the car driving home in a storm and had to stop at the grocery store. I was stressed, hungry andnot looking forward to getting home to absent minded argumentative teen and evening routine...so I was nearly talking outloud to m... Wed, 28 Jan 2009 20:41:50 EST I was Hungry http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1745830 Today, by the time lunch rolled around, I was starving. When I sat down for dinner - I was ready to eat! This is much better than only having half an appetite for my meal because I've been munching on crap and am just craving more crap and feeling sluggish. Now, to actually stick this and make it a looooong streak, LOL. <BR> <BR> What I really need is a personal minder. I read somewhere about a trend amongst addict celebrities where they just hired a babysitter to be with them 24-7 and k... Tue, 27 Jan 2009 21:13:37 EST Laughter is the SECOND Best Medicine http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1693994 ...the NUMBER ONE Best Medicine...is EXERCISE! MOVEMENT! By 6:00 last night I had myself in a state. I was down on myself for my lack of efforts/results on several fronts, I was letting my son push my buttons, I was getting snarky and irritated with people for absolutely no justifiable reason. Thank heavens I decided to take the dog for a walk around town, rather than just letting her loose in a nearby field and idly waiting for her which was my original choice given my "state". Not only... Tue, 13 Jan 2009 11:03:01 EST A step closer to where I am going http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1689091 Part of my Spark Journey, in addition to losing weight and getting myself into a physical shape, was to rediscover and/or redefine what brings me joy - a purpose, a direction, to this new chapter of my life. I'm not sure how much tangible progress I've made in this respect over the last 6 months. Probably I've created more questions than answers although that is presumably part of the process. I cannot yet complete the sentence(s) "My purpose is.....My Mission is.. ..What I really want i... Mon, 12 Jan 2009 10:24:54 EST Take Action ... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1658215 This particular message keeps tapping me on the shoulder and popping up from various corners. And probably if I read through all my old journals and blogs I've addressed it before, but here goes anyway... <BR> <BR> Just do something. <BR> <BR> If you can't mastermind your 10 yr projected budget and new savings plan this week, at least go open a new account and put 25.00 in...it's a start. I want to start baking more again...what shall I bake, when will I have time to do pastries, I wan... Mon, 5 Jan 2009 12:54:58 EST Starting the New Year in a Place of http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1649942 A new expereince for me, this New Year. Normally Jan 1 starts to loom and I begin taking long walks and talking to myself and finding fresh notebooks to make lists - which are certainly not negative on their own. But historically this is when I swear to myself that it's now or never, now I will lose weight and get fit and attractive, now I will find a solution to my money problems, strengthen or where necessary repair personal relationships, find a new job or improve work situation, ride b... Sat, 3 Jan 2009 21:48:34 EST The Driving Force http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1636925 Now seems like as good as time as any to stop and think about WHY I want to achieve these weight loss goals... <BR> <BR> <BR> - I am currently highly motivated by my new horse and the thought of being lean flexible and strong and fit in order to ride my best this year <BR> - I love the little taste I've had of what it's like to shop for clothes as a smaller person and I'd like to keep rolling with this <BR> - Having been so very unhealthy in 2006/2007 , I don't want to go back and I want t... Wed, 31 Dec 2008 16:38:06 EST Actually aware of my body http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1629150 Okay, so having fallen off the wagon for the past month-ish, it is sadly apparent I have put on a few pounds, lost a little muscle tone and condition and overall constitution feels a little sluggish. I don't feel terrible and can still wear my clothes although a little snugger. But here's the really good part. I am totally aware of this change not-for-the-good...and it is a sharp reminder to me that I'd better stick to my guns and get back at it....I liked that flexible, energetic, clean,... Mon, 29 Dec 2008 10:20:26 EST Official Status Report http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1621701 Well here it is coming towards the end of 2008, and the end of current personal spark challenge...I am not exactly where I want to be. For about the last 6 weeks I've been off my workout routine with just sporadic workouts, and completely off my nutrition plan. I fell into the "life stress - emotional eating - revert to panic mode lifestyle" in a big way. But the fabulous encouraging thing is - I don't care. OK, I care. I care now that this process is going to take a little longer and I... Tue, 23 Dec 2008 11:08:39 EST It's as easy as 1-2-3 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1600448 I feel fabulous when I do some kind of workout or exercise every day <BR> <BR> When I eat balanced meals of whole clean foods and have healthy snacks, I feel great. <BR> <BR> Taking time daily to centre myself and focus on gratitudes and visualizing the future is a powerfully positive tool for me. <BR> <BR> It should be that easy right? I just need to keep these things in the front of my brain 24-7 and use them as the over-ride to all my choices. <BR> <BR> Piece of cake!...(er, I mean 4... Sun, 7 Dec 2008 22:16:50 EST Creative Thinking http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1590058 Today I buckle back down, amidst the chaos that is my world these days, and make good food choices and make sure that I squeeze workouts in even if I have to sacrifice convenience. So I am "giving up" treats and candy and comfort food, I am "forcing" myself to get off my butt when I don't want to. This is really going to be hard and require willpower...or wait...maybe I will look at it differently. <BR> <BR> With everything going on right now that I can NOT control, that is outside my abil... Mon, 1 Dec 2008 10:15:37 EST Welcome, Jones. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1587883 I don't know what came over me. I am in a weird place these days, and I guess I had a moment of "jump in with both feet" "time's flying by, grab on and go for it" with a dash of "what the heck!" <BR> <BR> One of the horses I've been riding for the last 18 mos is a 5 yr old TB that was bred to race, lovely horse, very athletic, but not fast enough. Wealthy owner thought his grandaughter would like to ride, so the deal was I ride it and get it settled and trained for a few years, the kid wou... Sat, 29 Nov 2008 20:23:10 EST Smile http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1586066 This is a case of having athought and jotting it down.... <BR> <BR> I was recording my daily gratitude journal, and my mind was wandering along as I was about to open up a file and get to work here at the office..and something just sparked the realization that a smile was the surest proof of the law of attraction, that what you think determines what you bring to your life. <BR> <BR> If I smile, I feel happy. Even if I don't feel like I have anything to smile about, if I make a smile on my ... Fri, 28 Nov 2008 08:51:49 EST Today, right now. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1580794 Well here I am, today, reporting back to duty...I am missing exercise and structure and sweat and good food. Learning how to balance stress, moving targets, grief, happiness, responsibility, and life along with healthy living and weight loss is of course not always easy, especially for me it seems. So this is the challenge in this present moment...to get back on the horse. Oddly enough I do not feel angry at myself or remorseful about "falling off"...I don't feel hopeless, I just feel lik... Mon, 24 Nov 2008 09:53:06 EST On Being Feminine... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1546064 This blog has been brewing in me for several days, but no chance to write! <BR> <BR> I've been indulging my more feminine side a lot recently. Home-spa treatments (pumpkin facials!) for rewards for Spark efforts, shopping trip with girlfriends for skirts and blouses for my shrinking body, glamour and glitz charity events, Breast Cancer Celebration of Hope event with 1200 women. Coming out of "retirement" and doing some harmless flirting ...I am learning to like all this "girly" stuff. <BR>... Mon, 3 Nov 2008 09:16:13 EST Gone for 36 hours ... Back Again! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1539383 I have spent the last 36 hours trying to render myself completely numb with food. The details of this extended episode are horrific so we'll just say that for those of you who don't accept that food can be an addictive substance and used in the same manner as alcohol or narcotics, you are naive. <BR> <BR> Several little things, wee little life hiccups, little tiny losses of tightfisted grip, petty annoyances, mild does of reality, all sort of happened at once, things which logically shoul... Wed, 29 Oct 2008 21:37:13 EST The Deep End... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1536311 Life is great! I'm losing weight faster than I count. I am buying new clothes in...are you ready?...size 13...(I just tossed a jacket that was a 22, and pile of 18 pants that at one point I couldn't do up). I like my reflection in the mirror. I have a swing to my step. I can't stop smiling as I think about the future. I am riding again. I have discovered I love Tae Bo. I can run longer and harder than ever before. My body is happily accepting and thriving on far fewer calories than ... Tue, 28 Oct 2008 10:08:27 EST It's Starting... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1528477 The Halloween candy is popping up all over the offfice. The invites for dinner parties are rolling in. Talk of Holiday baking is starting. Well meaning friends are suggesting we split the cost of cases of wine. The mornings are getting colder and darker, as are the nights. Work is getting busy and more demanding as we come to fiscal year ends. And the odds are that just as the festive season kicks into high gear is right when I'll be due to hit that long lonely stretch of highway called... Thu, 23 Oct 2008 14:02:26 EST It's ALL in How You Look At It http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1523975 Yesterday morning I pulled a pair of pants out not worn since this time last year, expecting they'd be loose and probably nearly too big to look good in...and indeed, they were almost like clown pants. Fun! Tossed them in the give-away bag. <BR> <BR> I wore a flattering blouse and new size smaller pants and floated around work all day feeling good about how I looked, got a few comments from people about how they noticed I'd lost more weight. Fun! I even enjoyed glancing at my own reflec... Tue, 21 Oct 2008 10:28:46 EST Guilt & Sabotage http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1520637 Click - another piece shifted in my mind. <BR> <BR> I had a tremendous week in terms of the scale showing a loss, enjoying shopping for smaller clothes, noticing and liking changes in my body, feeling renewed confidence in myself & feeling closer to reconnecting with the "real" me, having the first weekend in nearly 6 weeks where I didn't have emotional eating issues...it was all around great. <BR> <BR> But each time I started to post something positive on the message board, I felt (irratio... Sun, 19 Oct 2008 17:13:09 EST Workin' It! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1517275 With the exception of a period of time in my 20's when I worked in the barn and rode horses all day for a living, I have never in my life exercised as consistenly and with such intensity as I have been, at age 40, for the last 10 weeks. Not even last fall and winter when Iost 50 pounds. I definately was exercising, but my cardio was not as frequent or long or hard, I was not doing the number of reps I can do now when I lift weights, and I would never have dreamed of attempting something li... Fri, 17 Oct 2008 10:17:18 EST Being Present http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1512896 I stayed on track today in terms of nutrition, and it was a tough day so that's good. I had a terrific Tae Bo workout tonight, did my body and my mind good. By end of day I felt like all the bloat and puffy and stuffed sausage feeling of the weekend was gone, I felt "clean" again. <BR> <BR> I'm beginning to experience some unidentifed emotions bubbling just below the surface . I don't really know what's going on except that I feel like this is a stage I need to go through to get to where... Tue, 14 Oct 2008 22:46:44 EST Kick Me Please http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1510100 'member those signs that kids stuck on each others' backs? Well, I need a great big one. For any of you reading my blog, I hereby grant you permission to read my blogs and posts and nutrition and exercise journals (eh hem, not very complete from the weekend, but I'll be back at it from this moment on) and give me a kick should you see fit. <BR> <em>216</em> <BR> <BR> Here's a new run down to at least get me through the next few weeks, note that "ride" is a bit up in the air right now wit... Mon, 13 Oct 2008 16:43:41 EST Sweet! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1503856 Today is the third day of no candy from the office candy jar...I am quite pleased with myself, and I think it's helping to ebb snacky impulsive cravings in general. <BR> <BR> I drink black tea and I usually put a generous tsp of sugar in...not many calories, but...I've cut the sugar by half and may continue to wean off...just in case this straight dose of refined sugar is triggering something. <BR> <BR> And, I passed on the pumpkin cheesecake that came to the office yesterday. I do not int... Thu, 9 Oct 2008 16:58:09 EST Rising to the Challenge http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1501706 I cannot have any more meltdowns between now and Oct 31 or I won't meet my 10 lb goal for my Halloween Challenge. If I just stick to the basic daily plan, I will make it. I know I've lost weight since last weigh in about 10 days ago, despite last weekend's wipeout, but I'm resisting getting on the scale. But there are signs: <BR> <BR> - tight black running pants don't seem quite so skin like and in profile the tummy bulge is less noticeable. Yes Virginia, cardio blasts fat. Learn it, Li... Wed, 8 Oct 2008 13:32:10 EST Rocket Science http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1499920 KISS: "Keep It Simple Savoy" <BR> <BR> Would seem that the base, root, bottom line obstacle in the way of reaching my weight goal would be not sticking to my nutrition and exercise plan. History has proven that when I feel good and enthusiastic about the plan I do stick to it and get the desired results...so I need to focus on what is good. Then I will continue to stick to it, and achieve even better results. Whereas if I continually focus on the mistakes, the difficulties, the frustrati... Tue, 7 Oct 2008 14:22:57 EST Candy Jar http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1498626 I don't like rules, hard and fasts and black and white, especially about food. I believe there should always be room for flexibility and little indulgences, .but today I made a rule. I am not allowed to eat candy at work. We have a large glass jar with various hard candies in it. 15-20 cal a piece, 1 or 2 a day here and there, no biggie. Except lately when I have 1...I have an overwhelming driving compulsion to have another and another and it snowballs. I don't know if it's a physcial t... Mon, 6 Oct 2008 21:47:44 EST A Funny Feeling http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1492077 Recently I've had a funny little feeling in my tummy. I recognize it from prior times in my life when I was successfully in the process of losing weight. I've tried to define it...is it anxiety, is it adrenaline, is it some sort of digestive issue, have I pulled or strained something in exercising .... hmmm..what is it? I think I've got it. It's the normal everyday way you are supposed to feel when you've eaten an appropriate of healthy satisfying tasty food, but have not overeaten or mi... Thu, 2 Oct 2008 20:40:41 EST Security http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1480252 As I try and focus on reducing my calorie intake to keep it within the range, and to also try and make sure I at least have about 3 days a week where I am towards the lower end instead right at the high side, I keep thinking "But I'm HUNGRY every time I eat - How can I cut it more?" I do eat (generally) balanced meals with whole foods, protein, fibre, fruit/veg, grains etc...so I think oh no, how can I do less? I am starting to think this may be similar to when I quit smoking and just the t... Fri, 26 Sep 2008 10:20:55 EST Enjoying the View http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1475291 The other shoe will likely drop at some point soon and I am prepared to have to talk myself up and face some more demons...(for better or worse, I tend to live my life in extremes)..but right now I feel like I am in a popcorn maker with kernels of light and possibility exploding like the 4th of July around me. <BR> <BR> This morning I was thinking about a SPfriend's comment that if she could see this much difference right now, having just started out and lost a few pounds, imagine the change... Tue, 23 Sep 2008 16:37:58 EST Check In! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1472478 Time to take a moment and refocus and take stock of where I'm at on this weight loss mission, specifically in terms of reaching my Halloween Challenge goal. <BR> <BR> What I'm doing right: <BR> <BR> - exercising consistently and at a sufficient exertion level <BR> - recognizing patterns that lead to emotional eating and working to change them <BR> - logging food and exercise daily <BR> - blogging - it's helping! <BR> - trying to remember to live my whole life while I transform my body, rath... Mon, 22 Sep 2008 11:24:08 EST Trying on a new outlook for size... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1471167 I am in desperate need of fall clothes and decided to try on a few things yesterday. Good news and bad news...Bad news is the skirt and sweater I tried were too small in the size I chose (13/14). It reminded me just how much fat I still have all over the place. I decided not to buy anything. Good News: If I'd wanted to I could have gone and got the same thing in a 15/16 and it would have looked lovely on me. I did not have to even go to the 1x, 2x etc Plus Section. Even though the out... Sun, 21 Sep 2008 17:46:33 EST Satisfaction or lack thereof http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1466881 Do you ever remember as a kid doing something that was forbidden and being quite willing to suffer the consequences just to have that thrill or delight or pleasure? It was all worth it, and in the end you were satisfied. As I stand in the kitchen, tired and hungry, no meal prepared, unsettled and edgy from a busy stressful week, fighting an overwhelming physical urge to go buy Doritos I am suddenly struck with the realization that if I do eat the chips or cookies or cheese sticks or pizza p... Thu, 18 Sep 2008 20:56:48 EST The Zone http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1463758 As I begin to work a little harder in my cardio I am getting that feeling again! Out there, early morning, out on the trails or our pretty streets of our little town, with my goofy canine companion...at first, as I step off the porch and head down the sidewalk everything hurts. As I get to the corner, I'm thinking OK this isn't so bad..but maybe I'll just do a short one...10 min go by and I've resolved myself to the fact that now that I'm out here I as well just do it. My HRM keeps remindi... Wed, 17 Sep 2008 09:42:52 EST Something is just around the corner http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1462013 Have you ever watched a movie where someone has suffered memory loss and as the memories come back we see them going about their daily life and suddenly being seized by a flash of light and a glimpse of their past? I've been experiencing something similar recently and it's been picking up pace over the last day or two. I'll be taking out the trash and out of nowhere I suddenly am blinded by the invasion of a real and practical application and evidence of some sort of affirmation or life l... Tue, 16 Sep 2008 12:28:57 EST Accountability - Power in Numbers http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1459585 It is amazing to me (and hopefully this is not a sign of a weakness in my character that I find it surprising!) how interaction with people you've never met, who cannot see you or confirm your statements, can truly hold you accountable and be such a huge support and motivation. I find myself sincerely encouraged to make a good food choice so I won't have to go and report 1 more time that I blew it. A Huddle Banner yesterday saying "Let's do a Workout" was the sole inspriation for me to walk... Mon, 15 Sep 2008 09:54:43 EST Settling in for the long haul http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1458355 I've gone through all the phases again..getting mad and disgusted at myself, deciding to re-commit, setting goals, obsessing and spending every waking minute watching TV shows or magazines or internet about workouts and weightloss, being sad and lamenting the past, restocking the cupboards and getting back in the meal prep groove, I've come back to Spark, I'm blogging and logging and analyzing , I've connected with some incredible Spark Friends who are becoming a vital support network and I'v... Sun, 14 Sep 2008 15:31:08 EST Doing a 180 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1455097 Well, I'm a Gemini so it's to be expected. I've had a swerving change of heart and opinion. Maybe I actually am doing OK. <BR> <BR> I've been beating myself up something fierce the last few months for not working hard enough, for eating so terribly, for having no focus etc. And yesterday I suddenly slammed on the brakes and said wait a sec Missy...you sure have a lot of room to improve but you are doing great. OK, so you just hit 40 and you're having a midlife mini crisis. You and every... Fri, 12 Sep 2008 10:27:32 EST Keep Truckin' Along... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1451266 I keep re-reading my various blog entries and it's all a little overwhelming, as Labyrinth said, the ideas are comming fast and furious and I need time to work through them all. I truly feel like I'm making progress, not just spouting words. <BR> <BR> No earth shattering stupendous successes to report and I still have yet to complete a week with no snack attack/emtional face stuffing, and this week will sadly be no exception, but I am definately more aware of what is happening before, durin... Wed, 10 Sep 2008 09:34:22 EST SMACK! Be Careful What You Wish For http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1448551 This isn't an original concept, but it just struck me at the right angle to make me pause and think about it. <BR> <BR> I want to lose another 40-50 pounds and get lean and hard and fit because I think I will feel better and look better, with more energy and confidence and I think this will help me to free myself from the chains and barriers that I perceive to be holding me back in various areas of my life. <BR> <BR> So, by the spring, I'll be there - I will have met that physical goal. ... Mon, 8 Sep 2008 22:11:38 EST Small Insight about Eating http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1446101 I think that if I feel determined to go offside and stuff my face with food - like some sort of compulsion - what if instead of sneaking large quantities of cookies, chips, tarts etc and being secretive...what if I said right out in the open, I am going to eat...and least piled a plate full of whole wheat crackers and natural peanut butter and cheese strings, or maybe a tuna sandwhich on whole wheat, carrot sticks and low fat dressing. Because I always start out with it's just going to be on... Sun, 7 Sep 2008 19:04:35 EST Confidence vs. Justification http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1440984 I have come to realize that part of the reason I am stuck or holding back in my life is that I have lost or muffled some of the confidence that I used to have. I think I do a pretty good job of disguising this deficiency in some case, but it is still there and festering away. I believe too that I have been justifying my thoughts, actions, position etc...in my mind to myself in order to try and get some peace and not worry, or preparing a verbal justification to someone should the need ar... Thu, 4 Sep 2008 13:52:45 EST Honoring Commitments to Yourself http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1438610 It occured to me this morning....I am one of the most responsible people you will meet. Keeping my word is extremely important to me, I try at all costs not to let people down (to the point of becoming self-destructive in my efforts to be a people pleaser, but that is another story).......And I realize as busy women we frequently put our own needs last and we shouldn't, somehow we tell ourselves it's selfish and that is backwards thinking. Fuelling yourself so you can give to others is impo... Wed, 3 Sep 2008 11:28:00 EST I am woman, hear me roar! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1437583 I am exhausted...spent day at high school for parent orientation 1st yr high school, and this evening filling out forms and writing checks, going over homework...Tae Kwon Do starts, band practices, guitar, paper route...riding, working, cooking, exercising, ....finding myself...gee, I better find a hobby! <BR> <BR> Dont get me wrong, I am not complaining, just bracing myself. I went to lunch with another parent, and without thinking I ordered a drink and clubhouse and fries...um, hello...wh... Tue, 2 Sep 2008 21:21:08 EST On the bright side... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1435459 I am blessed with the "problem" of so many choices for my life. <BR> <BR> I am blessed by the self-discovery that this weight-loss is taking me on and likeminded people to share it with. <BR> <BR> This is literally a journey not a destination and I would be served well to remember that. <BR> <BR> I am looking forward to being lean and hard strong as I travel and I am looking forward to freeing myself from the demons I choose to battle with in order that I can fully participate on all the t... Mon, 1 Sep 2008 23:04:31 EST Weekend demise http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1433395 Weekdays are pretty easy...my time is all mapped out, food is planned, take potioned out food to the office, dinner is already set up, busy, busy ...lot's of routine and structure. <BR> <BR> I do not seem to be able to replicate this on the weekends, or maybe I haven'r really tried, but I do realize it's a problem. <BR> <BR> Weekday I run, shower, office, eat balanced meal <BR> <BR> Weekend - hike with dog, ride - now it's late morning...lunch or breakfast, or snack..on the go for a proj... Sun, 31 Aug 2008 21:45:54 EST