SAVINGHANNAH's SparkPeople Blog SAVINGHANNAH's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Taking A Break. I'm taking a Spark for two or three weeks, I shall miss you all. Fri, 19 Oct 2012 16:25:31 EST Ever Wonder?--For Friday. Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? <BR> <BR> Fri, 19 Oct 2012 16:22:54 EST Ever Wonder?--For Thursday. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? <BR> <BR> Thu, 18 Oct 2012 16:41:41 EST Ever Wonder?--For Wednesday. Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? <BR> <BR> Wed, 17 Oct 2012 18:42:57 EST Ever Wonder?--For Tuesday. If it's true that we're here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? <BR> <BR> Tue, 16 Oct 2012 19:23:46 EST Smile For Today/Monday. A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband. <BR> Now he had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. <BR> When he came to senses, he motioned for her to come near him. <BR> As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? <BR> You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. <BR> When my business failed, you were there. <BR> When I got shot, you were by my side.... Mon, 15 Oct 2012 19:17:49 EST Ever Wonder?--For Monday. Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"? <BR> Mon, 15 Oct 2012 18:47:54 EST Smile For Today/Sunday. Her shirt said, "Guess." I said, "45." I got slapped. <BR> Sun, 14 Oct 2012 19:50:40 EST Ever Wonder?--For Sunday. Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? <BR> <BR> Sun, 14 Oct 2012 19:12:18 EST Ever Wonder?--For Saturday. When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? <BR> Sat, 13 Oct 2012 17:18:46 EST Ever Wonder?--For Friday. If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you see? <BR> Fri, 12 Oct 2012 16:46:59 EST Today Is... ...10-11-12 Thu, 11 Oct 2012 18:04:55 EST Smile For Wednesday. Three mischievous old Grandmas were sitting on a bench outside the nursing home when an old Grandpa walked by. One of the old Grandmas yelled out, <BR> 'Hey, we bet we can tell exactly how old you are!' <BR> <BR> The old man said, 'There is no way you can guess that, you silly old fools.' <BR> <BR> One of the Grandmas said, 'Sure we can! Just drop your pants and undershorts & we can tell your exact age.' <BR> <BR> Embarrassed, but anxious to prove they couldn't do it, he dropped his dr... Thu, 11 Oct 2012 17:48:35 EST Ever Wonder?--For Thursday. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? <BR> Thu, 11 Oct 2012 17:09:08 EST Thought For Wednesday. "Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted." Albert Einstein. <BR> Wed, 10 Oct 2012 19:58:09 EST Ever Wonder?--For Wednesday. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? <BR> <BR> Wed, 10 Oct 2012 18:40:56 EST Ever Wonder?--For Tuesday. Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? <BR> <BR> Tue, 9 Oct 2012 15:07:47 EST Ever Wonder?--For Monday. Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? <BR> Mon, 8 Oct 2012 16:17:16 EST Smile For Today--Monday. The tough businessman was feeling very ill and went to the doctor. <BR> <BR> The doc examined him and backed away, saying, "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have an advanced case of highly infectious rabies. <BR> <BR> You must have had it for some time. It will almost certainly be fatal." <BR> <BR> "Could you give me a pen and paper?" said the businessman. <BR> <BR> "Do you want to write your will?" <BR> <BR> "No, I want to make a list of all the people I want to bite." <BR> <B... Mon, 8 Oct 2012 12:28:57 EST Smile For Today--Sunday. "Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. <BR> <BR> "Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied. <BR> <BR> "Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. <BR> <BR> "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you." <BR> Sun, 7 Oct 2012 20:03:50 EST Ever Wonder?--For Sunday. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? <BR> Sun, 7 Oct 2012 19:20:38 EST The last Knock--Knock Joke. Knock Knock! <BR> Who's there? <BR> Orange. <BR> Orange who? <BR> Orange you glad I didn't say banana? <BR> <BR> The End. Sat, 6 Oct 2012 17:00:40 EST Daily Knock--Knock Jokes. Today is the last day for my daily Knock--Knock jokes, but, stick around. Tomorrow I will start a new series of laughs that I think you will enjoy. I enjoy bringing them and reading your responses. I treasure all of you. I hope you'll stick around and that you'll enjoy them. <BR> Have a great weekend, Sparkfriends. Sat, 6 Oct 2012 16:56:30 EST Knock Knock--For Saturday. Knock Knock! <BR> Who's there? <BR> Norma Lee. <BR> Norma Lee who? <BR> Norma Lee I'd use my key. <BR> Sat, 6 Oct 2012 16:39:39 EST Knock Knock--For Friday. Knock, Knock <BR> Who's there? <BR> Yodel-lay-he. <BR> Yodel-lay-he-who? <BR> I didn't know you could yodel. <BR> <BR> Fri, 5 Oct 2012 17:23:32 EST Knock Knock--For Thursday. Knock, knock <BR> Who's there? <BR> Jess <BR> Jess who? <BR> Jess me and my shadow. <BR> Thu, 4 Oct 2012 10:39:40 EST Smile for Thursday. A Guy was staying in a fancy hotel and was enjoying the pool when the manager told him quite bluntly to get out. <BR> <BR> When asked for the reason, the manager said, "Because you peed in the pool." <BR> <BR> "Well," replied the swimmer, "lots of people do that." <BR> <BR> "True," answered the manager, "but you did it from the diving board." <BR> <BR> Thu, 4 Oct 2012 10:36:50 EST Knock Knock--For Wednesday. Knock, Knock <BR> Who's there? <BR> Canoe. <BR> Canoe, who? <BR> Canoe come over and play? <BR> Wed, 3 Oct 2012 22:52:48 EST Knock Knock--For Tuesday. Knock, Knock. <BR> Who's there? <BR> Leaf. <BR> Leaf Who? <BR> Leaf me alone. <BR> Tue, 2 Oct 2012 19:49:50 EST Knock Knock--For Monday. Knock, Knock <BR> Who's there? <BR> Canoe. <BR> Canoe, who? <BR> Canoe come over and play? <BR> Mon, 1 Oct 2012 18:19:18 EST Smile For Sunday. <BR> <BR> Mr. Dewey was briefing his client, who was about to testify in his own defense. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> "You must swear to tell the complete truth. Do you understand?" <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> The client replied that he did. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> The lawyer then asked, "Do you know what will happen if you don't tell the truth?" <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> The client looked back and said, "I imagine that our side will win." <BR> <BR> Sun, 30 Sep 2012 19:47:20 EST September Is.. ... National Chicken Month. Find some time to eat a little chicken. Sun, 30 Sep 2012 16:48:22 EST Knock Knock--For Sunday. Knock, Knock <BR> Who's there? <BR> Sarah. <BR> Sarah who? <BR> Sa-rah phone I could use? <BR> Sun, 30 Sep 2012 16:44:43 EST Knock Knock--For Saturday. Knock, knock <BR> Who's there? <BR> Eucalyptus. <BR> Eucalyptus who? <BR> Eucalyptus hair too short!:) <BR> <BR> Sun, 30 Sep 2012 16:43:55 EST ~~~~Today's words of wisdom~~~~ ~~~~Today's words of wisdom~~~~ <BR> <BR> Watch your thoughts; they become words. <BR> Watch your words; they become actions. <BR> Watch your actions; they become habits. <BR> Watch your habits; they become character. <BR> Watch your character; it becomes your destiny. Fri, 28 Sep 2012 17:51:36 EST Knock Knock--For Friday. Knock Knock <BR> Who's there? <BR> Tiss. <BR> Tiss who? <BR> Tiss who is good for blowing your nose. <BR> Fri, 28 Sep 2012 17:27:16 EST Smile For Thursday. Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately, it kills all of its students. Thu, 27 Sep 2012 16:12:00 EST Knock Knock--For Thursday. Knock Knock <BR> Who's there? <BR> Carl. <BR> Carl who? <BR> Car'l get you there faster than a bike. <BR> Thu, 27 Sep 2012 14:43:30 EST Knock Knock--For Wednesday. Knock, Knock <BR> Who's there? <BR> Yahoo! <BR> Yahoo who? <BR> Yahoo Mountain Dew! <BR> Thu, 27 Sep 2012 14:41:31 EST Today's Thought: Thursday Behold the turtle. He only makes progress when he sticks his neck out. -James Bryant Conant <BR> <BR> Thu, 27 Sep 2012 09:52:13 EST Knock Knock--For Tuesday. Knock, Knock <BR> Who's there? <BR> Goat <BR> Goat Who? <BR> Goat to the door and find out. <BR> Tue, 25 Sep 2012 22:25:07 EST Today's Thought: Monday "Experience is not what happens to you; it is what you do with what happens to you." -Aldous Huxley <BR> Mon, 24 Sep 2012 18:59:11 EST Today Is... ... Dear Diary Day. It should be "Dear Blog Day." Take a moment and write about who you are. Sun, 23 Sep 2012 20:09:35 EST Knock Knock--For Sunday. Knock knock! <BR> Who's there? <BR> Eskimo Christian Italian. <BR> Eskimo Christian Italian who? <BR> Eskimo Christian Italian no lies! <BR> (Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies!) <BR> Sun, 23 Sep 2012 19:50:44 EST Happy Autumn. First day of Fall. Get out and enjoy the day! <BR> <em>465</em> Sat, 22 Sep 2012 15:35:34 EST Thurs. Was... ...National Punch Day. The kind you drink, not the kind you throw. Why not, serve some KoolAid in a big ol' bowl?? <BR> Fri, 21 Sep 2012 22:45:11 EST Knock Knock--For Friday. Knock, knock <BR> Who's there? <BR> Who. <BR> Who who? <BR> Are you an owl? <BR> Fri, 21 Sep 2012 20:10:01 EST Knock Knock--For Thursday. Knock, knock <BR> Who's there? <BR> Lettuce. <BR> Lettuce who? <BR> Lettuce in, it's cold out here. <BR> Thu, 20 Sep 2012 17:18:02 EST Knock Knock--For Wednesday. Knock knock <BR> Who's there? <BR> Anudder <BR> Anudder who? <BR> Anudder mosquito. <BR> Wed, 19 Sep 2012 16:38:44 EST Knock Knock--For Tuesday. Knock knock. <BR> Who's there? <BR> Amos. <BR> Amos who? <BR> A mosquito. <BR> Tue, 18 Sep 2012 16:54:09 EST