SARAHSSUNSHINE's SparkPeople Blog SARAHSSUNSHINE's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community When is Enough Enough? I don't know how many spark friends of mine are still out there or active, so I'm not sure who will see this blog entry, but I need to write something down. <BR> <BR> I haven't made any blog entry posts on here or anything for about 2 years now. If I say I am coming back, I'll be here for maybe a day, get disappointed in the sh*tty food that I am tracking and disappointed in myself, and then I'll fall through and go several weeks just bingeing and not caring for myself. <BR> <BR> [i]I am ... Wed, 6 May 2015 11:53:20 EST VERY quick insanity update. Hi alllll. Okay, I don't have much time to post an actual in-depth blog because I am sweaty and smelly and sore and it's already almost 12:15AM, but I just want to let everyone know that I've officially started Insanity and so far, it's definitely "Insane." I both love and abhor it. Sean T, the coach, is absolutely amazing and I really enjoy his attitude, enthusiasm, and positivity, but he will literally work you harder than you have ever worked in your entire life. Ever. I am not exaggeratin... Sat, 26 Jan 2013 01:16:59 EST Prepping for INSANITY (OooOOoooh!) and Starting Measurements So, for those of you who haven't read my previous blog, I'm starting the 60 day "Insanity" program (created by BeachBody, the company I believe is also behind P90X), since my boyfriend bought it recently and I've been dying to try it. Plus, he's been giving it glowing reviews and I really need something to jump-start my year of success and dedication to fitness and clean eating. So it seems perfect! Plus, since my boyfriend has been doing it for a little over a week now, I at least know some ... Fri, 18 Jan 2013 11:07:37 EST YES. STRENGTH TRAINING. On a random, positive note: I finally ordered "The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Eating Clean" and "The New Rules of Lifting for Women." I’ve been yearning for these books for a while and was hoping to pick them up at my local Barnes and Noble, but after hearing over and over again that they’re out of stock I simply decided to use my Christmas gift card and order them for delivery at a slightly discounted price. I managed to get both of them for less than $30, including taxes. :) Awesomeness: ach... Sat, 12 Jan 2013 23:14:06 EST "STOP hating yourself for everything you aren't. START loving yourself for everything you are." "No one can tell what goes on in between the person you were and the person you become. No one can chart that blue and lonely section of hell. There are no maps of the change. You just come out the other side. <BR> <BR> Or you don't." Stephen King, "The Stand" <BR> <BR> I've been doing a lot of reflecting recently, given the new year, on my last year and the years leading up to where I am now and the struggles I've found along the way. When doing this, I have to acknowledge right off the ba... Sat, 12 Jan 2013 14:36:30 EST Okay. THAT was an accomplishment. Hello all. :) <BR> <BR> I'd like to make this as short and sweet as possible, since I have a biology test to study for (blech!). There is something I've been dying to do forever, and I finally got my chance today: <BR> <BR> Spinning. <BR> <BR> As someone who loves to bike it has ALWAYS fascinated me, and one of the great bonuses of the new school I'm attending is that you get a free membership to a kickass local gym, complete with all the trimmings, classes, equipment, pools, etc. When t... Tue, 18 Sep 2012 20:40:23 EST A (VERY) Brief Reminder to Myself of How Far I've Come I don't really count this as a blog update (I'm at school and I have like...5 minutes, haha). But I want to post this to remind myself of just how FAR I have come in the past year and a half. While I may be struggling to get completely back on my feet, I know if there's one thing holding me back from getting back to where I was it's myself. I am SO hard on myself. For example, my boyfriend is very complimentary, yet every time he tells me he loves how fit I'm working to be or how beautiful he... Tue, 11 Sep 2012 12:07:24 EST How and Where do I Restart? Stay tuned for some sick-day musings. <BR> <BR> I'm getting back to the place (mentally) where I start to get antsy when I haven't moved in a while. Which is a HUGE difference from the past 7 months of "oh hey I have nothing to do and that couch looks sooooo comforta--zzzzzzzzz... (2 hours later) ...oh shoot. The gym is closed. Woops. I'll go tomorrow." Et cetera. So, now that I'm sick, I'm going CRAZY with boredom and antsiness. My legs actually ache, both because I want to move and because... Sun, 6 May 2012 19:02:27 EST So Help Me God, I'm Back if it Kills Me Can't really write much, since I'm at work, but here's a recap on the past couple of months: <BR> <BR> Pro: <BR> <BR> -Got a job <BR> -Got a job at A GYM <BR> -Got a boyfriend <BR> -Visited said boyfriend twice <BR> -Figured out where I want to go with my life <BR> <BR> Cons: <BR> <BR> -Knee has been giving me massive issues when undergoing impact exercise (had surgery on leg after car accident 4 years ago--have to see an orthopedic surgeon) <BR> -Grandfather's cancer took over his b... Wed, 2 May 2012 08:35:49 EST Denial Hurts so Deeply (some language!) What do you say to yourself when you're finally ready to accept the fact that you have fallen COMPLETELY off the wagon? That you've bullshat everyone--including yourself--for almost five months and have nothing to show for it? <BR> <BR> I have a confession to make. <BR> <BR> full of sh!t. <BR> <BR> Yep. One HUNDRED percent cow dung at your disposal. It's gotten to the point where it pervades every inch of my life, whether in reality, or here on spark. I want to look the "success" ... Sat, 4 Feb 2012 23:00:43 EST What Do You Do When...? Let me preface this by saying that I am by no means expecting an answer to my problems somewhere in responses to this blog. Also, let me say that I do not expect many replies, since I've been awful with blogging and when I DO blog I'm lazy and do not thank people for their comments (even though they are always thoughtful and help me immensely). Anyway, I'm seriously at a crossroads in my life right now--something I believe has been instigated by my lifestyle change--and I'm not really sure wh... Mon, 24 Oct 2011 01:43:41 EST (Progress Pics!) My Nine Month Sparkiversary and a Look into Birthdays Past and Present I'm tired of starting each of my blogs with a statement about how _____ is going wrong, I'm failing at ____, or struggling with X, Y, and Z, so I'm not going to talk about that tonight. Nope. Not a single negative word will fall from my lips. Instead, I am going to utilize my lovely blogging tool here to remind myself just how far I have come and just how much of a difference I have made in my life. <BR> <BR> So, to prove to myself (PUBLICLY) that I am capable of everything and anything, I... Sun, 9 Oct 2011 21:52:51 EST The Little Epiphanies in Life...(It's a long one!) To say that the past, oh, month or so has been a "rollercoaster" would be the world's greatest understatement. Seriously, in the history of all understatements, it's pretty high up there, wedged between "I think the kids from the Jersey Shore tan too much," and "Paris Hilton isn't the sharpest tool in the shed." <BR> <BR> Due to stress levels with school, I've gone from exercising 5+ times a week to running MAYBE twice, and in the past week and a half I have eaten chocolate every. single. d... Fri, 16 Sep 2011 02:32:56 EST A Short, Cute Request from Y'All So, I don't have the time to really write a long entry (sadface...hoping to write one tomorrow), but I do have a short request of you ladies (and some gentleman) if you can help me out! <BR> <BR> One of my best friends/roommate recently joined spark and I would love for her to receive a warm welcome from this lovely spark community. If you would like to find her, her spark page can be found here: <BR> <BR><BR>=WHAMBOOMSPLAT <BR> <BR> Her screen nam... Mon, 5 Sep 2011 01:06:34 EST Time to Get Crazy. Forget Being Lazy. [HA! I like to rhyme. :P] <BR> <BR> When did I become the girl who watches myself from the side lines? Who gives a few half-hearted cries of excitement when I turn down this bad food or that hour or two on the couch? Since when has it become acceptable for me to settle for just a few "hurrahs" in the week when I know I am capable of an uproar? <BR> <BR> I am beyond capable. I have lungs of iron and vocal chords of steel; muscles of spider thread able to endure the heat of thousands of pound... Thu, 18 Aug 2011 09:35:10 EST When the World Gets in the Way I have an obvious confession to make. <BR> <BR> I haven't blogged in forever. <BR> <BR> I also haven't been very active on SP lately, and my excuses for such slack in my routine aren't important enough to hold water. So, in an effort to drag my butt back into the game, I'm going to give y'all a recap of the past BUSY few weeks! Because my world is completely flipped over right now and I have no idea what to do about it. :P <BR> <BR> First of all, unfortunately I have all but given up on t... Tue, 16 Aug 2011 10:28:54 EST BLC #11 Challenge, Week 2! I'm going to do all three challenges again this week. :) <BR> <BR> 1: Add an extra 60 minutes of cardio to your routine this week. (I'm planning on biking for a long period of time on both Saturday and Sunday this weekend! I'm hoping to start building up my distance endurance. I hardly ever workout on Sundays--they're usually rest days--but it's so nice now that the heat has broken that I'm an eager beaver for outdoor activities.) <BR> <BR> 2: Change it up! Add a different cardio workout to... Fri, 22 Jul 2011 16:26:38 EST DIY: 2 Swanky, Sweaty, Sexy Challenge Assignments Woops! This weekend left me MAJORLY behind in posting my DIY updates for the Proving Grounds Challenge! So, here's me catching up. <BR> <BR> <em>491</em> <em>274</em> <em>67</em> <em>434</em> <em>67</em> <em>274</em> <em>491</em> <BR> DIY Challenge Instructions 7/15-7/17 Assignment 5 <BR> <em>491</em> <em>274</em> <em>67</em> <em>434</em> <em>67</em> <em>274</em> <em>491</em> <BR> <BR> We made it successfully through the first two weeks of the DIY Challenge! <BR> <BR> <em... Wed, 20 Jul 2011 10:30:08 EST Oy. Confessions of an Emotional Scatterbrain. Today has been...weird, emotionally. I've got a lot of confusion, a lot of guilt, and a lot of I-don't-even-know going on in my head right now. <BR> <BR> There's one thing I've noticed recently, and I've been trying to (aimlessly) figure out why it's been happening. While I've amped up my exercise minutes (almost 500 last week!), I feel I've been slipping on some things when it comes to healthy eating, which might explain my battle with the scale as of late. Nothing huge--I haven't "binged"... Mon, 18 Jul 2011 20:18:34 EST BLC #11 Challenge, Week 1! I've decided to do all three challenges this week. :) <BR> <BR> _______________________________________ <BR> <BR> Week 1 – Due July 20th <BR> Start week one by choosing to write your GOALS, NON-SCALE STARTERS or a TRACKING challenge. <BR> <BR> GOALS (based on an article and my own introspection): <BR> <BR> There are quite a few goals I would like to set for myself, and usually I am fairly adept at setting these goals in a realistic way. However, my main issue with goal-setting tends to b... Mon, 18 Jul 2011 15:36:16 EST And Now We Interrupt This Program for a High School Moment (SQUEE!) Okay, I just had to write something about this. It's not going to be very long, and it's far from important, but I'm feeling pretty dang great right about now. <BR> <BR> There is a guy (whom I mentioned in my DIY entry blog) that I was GAGA over Sophomore year of college. Seriously, if you could mold a guy off of my "type," he was all that and a barrel of monkeys. I mean I wanted him BAD. And, of course, I was almost 300 lbs when I had a thing for him. He's smart and chill and absolutely ad... Wed, 13 Jul 2011 16:34:09 EST Pushing Past Old Limits (An Effort to Blog More Frequently) This past week has been...well, a rollercoaster. On the one hand, I'm pumped. I'm pushing myself, my efforts, my exercise frequency, and (for the most part) my intensity, which is FANTASTIC. I feel alive, and this new burst of health has my blood pumping with more determination than it has in a while, flowing through my veins without excess contaminants to slow it down. <BR> <BR> Yet, I cannot say that the entirety of this past week and a half has been perfect, as much as I would like to sa... Tue, 12 Jul 2011 10:27:41 EST DIY: Swanky, Sweaty, Sexy Challenge, Assignments 3 and 4 ASSIGNMENT 4: <BR> <BR> <em>67</em> 1. How many fitness minutes did you rack up in Assignment 2? <BR> <BR> 220. Not fantastic (could have done better), but it was nice, that's for sure! :) <BR> <BR> <em>67</em> 2. If you picked a day to add up how many calories you drank... what was the total? if you didn't count, do it on one day this weekend. Just the calories you drink. <BR> <BR> 70, on the one day I had dark hot cocoa at work. Other than that, not really any. <BR> <BR> <em>67... Mon, 11 Jul 2011 11:02:55 EST 50+ Non-Health Related Reasons for BUSTING MY ASS After reading YOOVIE's most recent blog (and being motivated by it, of course), I decided to take up her challenge and write a list of AT LEAST 50 reasons--not related to health, wanting to have kids, growing old, etc--for why it is I'm doing what I'm doing. WHY I want to be the sexiest, sveltest, happiest I can be. Then, I'm going to draw them up/type them up/etc and tack them on my damn walls so I see them EVERY MORNING when I wake up. This week I've made the decision to push myself more t... Fri, 8 Jul 2011 22:50:51 EST The Proving Grounds DIY Challenge: The Swanky, Sweaty, Sexy Challenge! Sooo, in addition to doing the upcoming BLC #11 challenge, I decided to participate in the newest challenge for YOOVIE'S "Proving Grounds" team. It's a DIY (do it yourself) challenge, and without much chit-chat, here are my stats! <BR> <BR> <em>31</em> <em>31</em> <em>31</em> <em>31</em> <em>31</em> <em>31</em> <em>31</em> <em>31</em> <em>31</em> <BR> DIY Challenge Entry Form <BR> <em>31</em> <em>31</em> <em>31</em> <em>31</em> <em>31</em> <em>31</em> <em>31</em> <em>31</e... Tue, 28 Jun 2011 22:41:34 EST Ways to Counteract One TEMPTING Weekend This weekend, a good friend of mine is visiting and both of us have lost a dramatic amount of weight since the beginning of the year (I'm nearing 70 and he's lost about 50). Since we haven't seen each other in a while and he's dealing with a pretty difficult break-up with a friend of mine, we're both fairly tempted this weekend to trash our diets. We weren't able to reach the gym here on campus yesterday before they closed (they close early on Fridays), and last night we went out to dinner at... Sat, 25 Jun 2011 10:35:48 EST A Sad Family at the End of its Pitiful Rope (disjointed and emotional...readers beware) I would really rather make this a video blog, but apparently there is no webcam on the computer I'm using, so I'll have to make do with this. <BR> <BR> Let me begin with a statement: I try to be a bubbly, fun, supportive, and motivational person on this site. I want to help others as much as I want to help myself, and since negativity and pessimism have been hard issues for me my entire life, I've mostly banished it from my SparkPage. Negative Nellies do not become Sexy Susies or Confident ... Mon, 13 Jun 2011 22:34:21 EST Boy, Oh Boy. (Aka, "What's Eating You?") I'm going to *try* to keep this short and non-rambling. Key word: try. (I always say I will and then I don't, apologies if this is crazy). <BR> <BR> I look back on the post I wrote earlier this week, and I feel a sinking deep within me. Now, before I go into some rant about how miserable I am right now, I *do* need to acknowledge that I'm on my period and I have PMDD, which happens to make me emotionally unpredictable. I know this. But since my period has pseudo-ended and my mood ... Mon, 30 May 2011 00:26:28 EST 30 Day Music Challenge -- Day 5 30 Day Music Challenge, Day #5: A Song That Reminds You of Someone <BR> <BR> LUDO <BR> "Love Me Dead" <BR> <img src=""> <BR><BR>pI <BR> <BR> This song is ridiculous, and the music video is oddly entertaining. :P Anyway, my best friend played this song for me once while we were doing homework in her dorm room freshman year, and for some reason it has become one of our "blast from the past" theme so... Sun, 29 May 2011 14:16:11 EST 30 Day Music Challenge -- Day 4 30 Day Music Challenge, Day #4: A Song That Makes You Sad <BR> <BR> IRON & WINE <BR> "Trapeze Swinger" <BR> <img src=""> <BR><BR>S0 <BR> <BR> It's hard not to appreciate everything Sam Beam has to say in each of his songs. Not only is he a talented guitarist, but his lyrics are *phenomenal*. This song, in particular, moves me beyond words every time I hear it. While some people feel this is a son... Sat, 28 May 2011 18:11:29 EST 30 Day Music Challenge -- Days 2 and 3 More of the 30-day song challenge! :) <BR> <BR> Day 2: Your Least Favorite Song <BR> <BR> LADY GAGA <BR> "Hair" <BR><BR>8I <BR> <BR> I don't know if I can put this as my least favorite song of all time, but it's probably my least favorite at the moment. I can understand dancing to Gaga in a club (I've done it, and it's great clubbing music), but I just...really, really don't like her new album. Her old music is really catchy, but this? UGH. If it ... Fri, 27 May 2011 14:02:54 EST 30 Day Music Challenge -- Day 1! Borrowed from fabulous sparker JENERIN01 (who borrowed it from SANDIEGOJOHN, who also happens to be awesome). This seems like so much fun, and I always see people doing it on Facebook. Guess I'll finally participate, too! <BR> <BR> Here's how it goes. You post a song a day following this criteria: <BR> <BR> Day 01 - Your Favorite Song <BR> <BR> "MARCHING BANDS OF MANHATTAN" <BR> Death Cab for Cutie <BR> <img src=""> <BR> http://www.yout... Wed, 25 May 2011 20:14:16 EST Defining "Success" (aka, "When Running is More than a Skip, Hop, and Jump Away") SUCCESS (suhk-ses) n. <BR> 1: The favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors. <BR> 2: a successful performance or achievement: "the play was an instant success." <BR> <BR> There you have it. It's not exactly a broadly-defined word, and yet many of us here on SparkPeople struggle with defining it, at least for ourselves. Sure, we can look at one of our spark friends, those who have lost 20, 30, 50, 100+ pounds, and proudly proclaim, "There's _____. S/he has SUCCEEDED and k... Wed, 25 May 2011 15:13:39 EST BLC #10 Week 4: Water and Freggies Intake When it comes to water intake, this really isn't something I'm struggling with. I drink SO. MUCH. WATER. I guess it started when I worked for a summer in the mountains outside of Fresno a few years ago. Since the elevation was so high, the executive director of the camp I worked at gave us all 32 oz Nalgene bottles and asked us to try our best to consume over two of them throughout the day to avoid altitude sickness. Since I had a desk job, it was easy for me to keep my water bottle nearby an... Fri, 13 May 2011 09:10:20 EST Comments, Compliments, Concerns? So, I keep saying I'm going to blog about all the positive things that have been happening to me lately, and have I done it yet? Of course not. :P Might as well do it now then, yes? <BR> <BR> So, I've been having a hell of a time with a plateau for the past week and a half now, where I've fluctuated almost every day between 1.5 and 2 lbs. Just when I think I've lost weight, POOF. Oh, hello 220. Nice to see you again.... <em>234</em> <BR> <BR> But there have been positive things in spite... Thu, 12 May 2011 21:19:40 EST The Proving Grounds (Days 5-10) Okay, soooo I've been going in sane with finals/a heat wave/exercise/food/etc and trying to balance it all. It hasn't been going super well as far as time to blog goes, SO! I've had blogs in my head for the past four days and I finally have time to get them out today. It's 96 degrees and STICKY here in Illinois, and I'd rather not move if I don't have to. I'm actually sitting in my underwear in the living room. How that's for a nice mental image? ;) <BR> <BR> Anyway, this isn't the only blog... Tue, 10 May 2011 18:57:00 EST How Much is too Much? Alright, Sparkers, I need your help here. I'm dealing with something today that I haven't really experienced before, and it's both exhilarating and terrifying... <BR> <BR> An influx of self-esteem. <BR> <BR> That's right. I feel hot. Sexy. Svelt. And why is this a problem, you ask? Because I'm still 218 lbs and I want to dress like my goal-weight already, haha. I've lost 50 lbs, damnit, when do I start reaping the benefits? Now, I know this isn't a real issue, but I was just looking throug... Fri, 6 May 2011 17:03:15 EST BLC #10 Challenge: Week 3 (Will Change Throughout the Week) Not really a blog, just a way for me to keep track of my points this week! <BR> <BR> <BR> Updated Fitness Tracker: 10 <BR> Updated Measurements: 10 <BR> Read Aerobic Activity Article: 10 <BR> Blogged About My Aerobic Activity: 0 <BR> <BR> Wednesday: <BR> Video - 10 <BR> Exercise - 10 (did 50 minutes of pilates!) <BR> Total - 20 <BR> <BR> Thursday: <BR> Video - 10 <BR> Quiz - 10 (10/12 score!) <BR> Total - 20 <BR> <BR> Friday: <BR> Video - 10 <BR> Exercise - 0 (was sick this day :P) <BR>... Thu, 5 May 2011 20:30:03 EST MAYDAY! It's a May Challenge! (Thanks to YOOVIE) I actually have more to blog (been having a GREAT couple of days in spite of some minor setbacks), but I have Latin to translate and it's 11pm. Don't know how that happened, but homework actually needs to become a priority now! <BR> <BR> AHEM. Anyway. I found this on YOOVIE's sparkblog today, and since this girl always has fantastic things to say, I thought I'd follow along with her! I want to add a bit more spice to my life and a bit more variety, and dedicating the month of May to this ce... Thu, 5 May 2011 00:23:35 EST A Day of Happy and Unhappy Things Hey all. I'm going to try and make this short and sweet, because I'm actually in bed, tired, and I have to get up at 6 in the morning to finish a translation of Plato that I'm supposed to have prepared by 9. Sigh. :/ <BR> <BR> I'm going to start with some of the negatives first--that way, hopefully by the time I'm going over the positives of my day I'll feel much better about the negatives. Let's see how this works out, shall we? <BR> <BR> To begin, I hate to be a self-diagnoser, but I'm ... Tue, 3 May 2011 00:02:07 EST Reflection: How Time Flies How is it that 10 years ago, this September, I was a sixth grader sitting in class, talking to a boy I liked when my principal announced the 9/11 tragedy over the intercom? It was just after break between periods, and Troy Middle School had waited until 1:31 (exactly) in the afternoon to tell us that there was a mandatory meeting in the gymnasium to discuss a national tragedy. At the time of my principal's explanation, I hadn't understood what it meant. I was naive and, since I was in sixth g... Mon, 2 May 2011 01:01:31 EST Challenge: 10 Positive Things About Myself Well, since my aunt (rediscoveringLLH) has challenged me to it, I feel I'm going to take up this challenge and write up 10 things that I feel are positive about myself. Short and sweet. :) <BR> <BR> 1: I have slowly discovered control over the past four months. I am able to eat when I'm hungry, and not eat when I'm not. It was something I noticed about myself last night that I was particularly proud of. My team received coupons for two free slices of pizza per team member for raising over $... Sat, 30 Apr 2011 17:11:56 EST A Little Honesty and a Bad Night Hey, all. So, this is going to be a not-so-happy entry. This is your warning to run in the other direction, but this has been weighing a lot on my mind tonight. If you can get through this, I promise to blog about something really positive (my 5k yesterday) sometime tomorrow afternoon. <BR> <BR> Anyway, on to my little "mental drama." If anybody has read my first "blog" (if you can call it that), I've been preparing for my school's annual Relay for Life. If you don't know what that is, group... Sat, 30 Apr 2011 01:52:39 EST The Day is Finally Here... Well, these past few days have been interesting. I'm still not entirely up-to-speed with my assignments and managing my time, but I'm inching toward where I'd like to be. I wasn't able to exercise yesterday, but that's partially due to what is scheduled for today... <BR> <BR> Without knowing it, the day of my first 5k has finally arrived, and I am TERRIFIED. <BR> <BR> Sure, I've been doing my C25K training (I'm about halfway through week 6), and for a while I was wholly confident in my imp... Thu, 28 Apr 2011 12:12:02 EST Challenge 1: Biggest Loser Challenge #10 Hullo! I don't know how many people will be interested in reading this, but I've joined the most recent Biggest Loser Challenge for the 20-somethings with 100+ to lose team. For our first weekly challenge, we've been instructed to post some "before" pictures to get us started--that way, once the 8 week challenge is up, everyone can view your progress. :) <BR> <BR> So, this won't be much of a long entry, but without further adieu, here are my pictures. <BR> <BR> Current: front and side vie... Tue, 26 Apr 2011 11:34:49 EST The first of (hopefully) many! Hi all. :) <BR> <BR> I have a lot to blog about, and I actually think I'm going to write another tonight after homework, weather permitting (it's supposed to get nasty here). I've been struggling a lot this week, and I would really like some feedback. Plus, I feel like setting goals for different blogs throughout the week will work well as an outlet for me when things get tough. <BR> <BR> Anyway, this blog entry is actually about the Relay for Life that my college is hosting on April 29th ... Sun, 10 Apr 2011 18:46:35 EST