SANDY1969's SparkPeople Blog SANDY1969's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Am I mad? I need to be. What am I today? <BR> Am I mad? Am I fired up? Am I blah? Yes Yes Yes. <BR> I need a plan and I need one fast. <BR> 1 hour, every day. 1 hour of sweat. <BR> 8-10 glasses of water. <BR> Cut down the sugar and caffeine. <BR> 319 this morning. Not where I want to be. <BR> <BR> I have been eating everything in sight and doing no exercising. Binge. Yep. I have to get a hold of myself. <BR> <BR> I will solidify my plan today. I will take pictures of this body to use as inspiration to do... Mon, 23 Mar 2015 06:42:13 EST 314 Ugggh back up to 314 this Monday. Really not bad considering though I guess. Not a lot of drive this past week. No extra walking and not great on water intake. Will try and turn that around this week. Packed a good lunch, watching carbs, fats and proteins for a good balance. Water...*check* Am babysitting the grand daughter this week. Mon, 16 Mar 2015 07:06:45 EST Will this week never end? Well I lost my fitbit for a day or so and totally lost my drive. Also abut lost my mind. It was a rough week. THAT week to hate. My nerves got the best of me and I about had a mini melt down last night. Just frustration. Dropping things, losing things and being 100% annoyed and 105% annoying. lol. <BR> <BR> Thank goodness I know that what it is and can lock most of it away for a few days and not go totally beserk like I used to. <BR> <BR> I didn't weigh myself any this week, I do not... Thu, 12 Mar 2015 19:27:50 EST housework or me. Why does it take me 20 minutes to eat a small packet of oatmeal but if it had been left over pizza I would gulped that down in 30 seconds? <BR> <BR> Today Im off from work, waiting for another big snow to hit. I wonder if I should go buy bread and milk? I have bread and milk I just feel like I have this <BR> <BR> Sorry I work at a Walmart in the pharmacy and the last 2 days have been CRAZY. The whole store last night was buzzing. Got to get their pain meds! Can't be without... Wed, 4 Mar 2015 08:30:32 EST March 1, pretty successful February Not real sure how it happened but I am down 10 pounds from Feb 1. I was totally blown away when I weighed myself and the scale fell on 308. Happy Happy Happy! <BR> <BR> This past 6 days I have walked at least 1.25 miles BEFORE going to work and then sometimes coming home and walking more. I had a personal goal of getting in at least 12,000 steps a day and I did it...twice I hit 15,000. <BR> <BR> Today I am taking a rest day. Or at least I haven't walked yet. I may later if the mood hit... Sun, 1 Mar 2015 11:27:06 EST Last Day To lock it down for the month of February. Woke up at 5, did not have to be up yet. Electric had gone out in the night so I knew by the time I re-set my clock and went potty I'd never go back to sleep anyway so here I am. <BR> <BR> I really do not want to walk this morning, but I have my shoes on and a very large cup of water. Trying to find the will and inspiration to get up and get it done. <BR> <BR> I volunteered to bring in special amish donuts today, the pharmacist loves donuts. ... Sat, 28 Feb 2015 06:18:00 EST almost but not quite Almost blew it. Had those toaster strudels in my hand. 180 calories that's not so bad. But how many did I have to eat to get full? <BR> <BR> What I actually ate was a turkey sandwich, banana and yogurt. 380 calories total. Crisis averted!! lol <BR> <BR> Every week this month I have lost weight only to gain it all back again on the weekend. I work hard all week it and a couple more...then I do it all over again. I started the month at 318. I started the week at 318.... Thu, 26 Feb 2015 10:01:25 EST It's a new dawn. OK Today is a new day. <BR> <BR> Enough griping and whining. Time to make today better and more successful. <BR> <BR> Drink my water. <BR> Get my heart rate up walking. <BR> New personal challenge of 12,000 steps a day this week. I can't do that sitting here. <BR> <BR> Have a great day! <BR> <BR> Tue, 24 Feb 2015 06:12:52 EST So mad I could spit Today's not been a great day. I slept horrible, my weight was up because of the weekend, I had to be at work early...then I come home to my "support system" Spark people, and read an email from someone that's supposed to be a help mate. <BR> <BR> I belong to a group. In the past I have been involved in monthly challenges. I try and post frequently, or I used to. I have not become close to a lot of these people although I have kept track and left comments on some people's blogs and tried ... Mon, 23 Feb 2015 18:50:55 EST Today so far Well I had a short shift at work this morning. I had to be there at 7:30 so no walk but I just walked a little bit for a small calorie burn, now my grand daughter and I are lifting 1 pound weights. Ok she is almost 2 years old. She does not start at 1, she likes the number 9, so we do 9, 9, 9, 9.... <BR> <BR> I am trying to be so very good with food today. I am on the cusp of a "loss" for the week. As long as it's 1 tiny pound I will be happy. Time to find the joy in that. <BR> <BR> I... Fri, 20 Feb 2015 15:43:14 EST Better days. Yesterday turned out to be a much better day than I have had in over a week. I was on track, not over calories, exercised, drank water...which lead to bathroom trips which got rid of the weekend weight. Now to just work on a loss for Saturday. Even 1 itty bitty pound. Or, as I like to imagine...4 sticks of butter! lol. <BR> <BR> This morning I walked 1.59 miles on the dread mill. No time for the bike. Maybe after work. Got to go get ready, everyone have a fabulous day! <BR> <BR> Thu, 19 Feb 2015 07:52:59 EST not worthy of a title This past week I am struggling badly with food. Not exercise and staying active but food. By food, BAD food. Not a lot of food, just BAD food. <BR> <BR> Wanting to crawl into my chocolate cave and forget about all of this for a while. Maybe it's the weather and trying to find comfort. <BR> <BR> Just more than I care to think about today. I have to go walk. *sigh* Wed, 18 Feb 2015 08:36:46 EST Heading for the weekend. Yesterdays food consumption was a wee bit horrid. Not a LOT of food just bad choices. Still stayed pretty active during the day though and this morning I walked a little over 1.5 miles and rode my exercise bike for 16 minutes (4 miles). <BR> <BR> Off to work today ugggghhhh! But then 3 days off. We are going to Louisville Ky and Illinois in 2 trips this weekend. I live in Ohio. I have a new outfit to wear for the Louisville trip so Im all geared to go! Thu, 12 Feb 2015 08:10:50 EST Todays goals Get the housework done, laundry caught up, and dye my hair! My daughter calls them strands of glitter. Embrace the glitter she says....bah I say! lol <BR> <BR> Home from work today, have not put on my fitbit zip step counter as I run around bare footed at home. <BR> <BR> Sure do miss my lil monkey face (grand daughter) <img src=""> My daughter Molly and her baby Aubree. <BR> <BR> That's as close as she would get to Santa this year... Wed, 11 Feb 2015 10:19:44 EST Maybe a little tmi The scale is not moving do to a few things. 1. my food choices in the evening have been not so great. Not over calorie, just carb-o-rama. Fats too. Struggling to do better. I have to make the exercising count. <BR> <BR> On a high note I went back and looked and I weight 30 pounds less than I did at this time last year. Not my lowest weight but I am happy about that. <BR> <BR> I follow Tony (spelling on this last name) Polanski?? on facebook. He used to be a big guy, now he blogs. ... Tue, 10 Feb 2015 07:56:50 EST Do you think about your weight all day too? How many times will I think about my weight today? How many times will it embarrass me? <BR> <BR> My husband and I were out yesterday. We went shopping and we went out to eat. I bought some work clothes. They were size 3X. I feel good about that, but I know they are a BIG size 3X. When I began this a few years back I was ordering 4-5X's out of a catalog. <BR> <BR> I am self conscious when people walk past me in the big girl section of clothes. I do not want them to see me looking at ... Sun, 8 Feb 2015 08:56:18 EST Today is the day that... things slow down. <BR> <BR> Ya know after you make that HUGE decision all over again for the tenth time to start over and you are all gung ho and you are really, really trying and the weight melts off for the first few days... <BR> <BR> Then bam. You just cant pee out any more. lol The scale didn't move this morning. <BR> <BR> So now, from this moment on I know the weight loss will be about weight and not just losing that first initial water weight. NOW is when the real work begins. N... Thu, 5 Feb 2015 06:11:12 EST wants and needs. Yeppers Im still kickin...although not very high. <BR> <BR> Anyone have a match?? I need a spark. I just cant get motivated. I cant get into meal planning. I am a SUGAR-HOLIC. <BR> <BR> I gained back about 25 pounds since Thanksgiving of the 54 I lost since last summer. That stops today. I am pulling out all my old tricks. <BR> <BR> I have a calendar again to write my weight on, that I can stick in front of my nose and does not disappear after I log out. <BR> <BR> I have written my s... Mon, 2 Feb 2015 16:54:39 EST Late work day Equals more sleep you'd think! <BR> <BR> Drinking more water equals MORE potty trips during the night. <BR> <BR> Oh the life of a future beauty queen....sigh* lol <BR> <BR> This morning I just feel like the stuff on the bottom of a beauty queen's shoe if she were walking through a cow pasture. <BR> <BR> Having some pain issues across the top of my left foot. Feels like I am walking on a stump. I think it has to do with planter fascitis (sp?) Hopefully it will loosen up as I walk. <BR> ... Thu, 15 Jan 2015 09:22:10 EST Day 2 back. Again. <BR> <BR> Wow I just want to get this done already. I never wanted to be the person, you know, THAT person that loses, then quits, then restarts over and over again. It's going on 6 long years and it is really hitting me that I will have to fight this the rest of my life. <BR> <BR> I cant "take breaks" and just stay at the same weight, I gain. YES gain. <BR> <BR> Thankfully I have never gained back EVERYTHING I lost plus more. At least not when it's been a significant amount, li... Tue, 13 Jan 2015 17:36:07 EST Life member. Going on my 6th year here in a couple weeks. <BR> Attempting to get back to my better habits. Cleaned the exercise room out enough to actually get ON the equipment again after a new furnace install....MONTHS ago. I have a new battery in my fitbit zip. <BR> <BR> Current weight 314ish. <BR> <BR> Sitting here drinking water and logging back onto to Spark and Fitbit. Resetting my goals since I did not make my old ones. <BR> <BR> I really am NOT feeling this. I guess it's a success to actua... Mon, 12 Jan 2015 06:31:10 EST 306 today. which is 3 pounds less than last month so HOO RAH! :) <BR> <BR> Bought veggies and recommitted to drinking water. <BR> <BR> More later. <BR> <BR> Back to work today! Fri, 2 Jan 2015 08:38:10 EST Be nice. Man yesterday I could really tell I was in withdraw. It was a struggle to be nice to people. I am usually called Sunshine at work...yesterday not so much. <BR> <BR> Drank water, not a lot but no mountain dew either. A small Oatmeal cookie with a banana for breakfast. So the sugar was in control. <BR> <BR> I want the high that comes from seeing the scale go down, instead of the fake feeling from junking myself up! <BR> <BR> Have a great day, be KIND to people. I work in a pharmacy an... Tue, 9 Dec 2014 08:38:11 EST 309#s Yep that's my weight from this morning. Up about 10-15 pounds since October. Really surprised it's not more. Woke with a new determination to get back on track. I had to dig my scale out of a pile of paint boxes and put it in the hallway. <BR> <BR> Life's been hectic, but whose hasn't? I got made full time at work so I have typically 1 less day off per week. I haven't exercised in Lord knows how long, a couple months at least. <BR> <BR> Trying to get ready for Christmas. We put a new... Mon, 8 Dec 2014 07:35:03 EST Another day. Well I am mostly sickness free I think. At least my throat doesn't hurt, now I can swallow. <BR> <BR> I was really baby-ing myself too. Sure, you feel bad..go ahead and drink that nice Caramel frappe'. And that chocolate Frosty, yes they feel soooo good going down. *eye roll* <BR> <BR> Go ahead you can do it too. *eye roll*. Yesterday I got back on the bike and rode it about 35 minutes. I did not have time this morning, and tomorrow morning isnt looking good. <BR> <BR> Got some ... Tue, 21 Oct 2014 17:53:08 EST 292 or 291, THAT is the question. Ok this sickness is really getting on my nerves. Probably yours also. SO....moving on. <BR> <BR> Today I have to put the finishing touches on all the crafts I have ready to go then later today we are going to go set up at the church that the show is being held at. Tomorrow is the big day. Our first craft show this year. I'll post pics! <BR> <BR> Last year we did 5 or 6 shows, we just aren't as motivated this year or something. We have another show Nov 1 that is our favorite one an... Fri, 17 Oct 2014 10:05:41 EST Who woulda thought. That Id get up today (at 10 am mind you) and weigh myself and having a 3-4 pound loss? Yep the scale hit 292. I had not been drinking a lot of fluids, so I tried hard yesterday to drink lots of water. I was up 3 times in the night to GO. That and getting much needed sleep in between must have helped. I did rush around at work yesterday but I did not do any extra exercises. I ate regular. <BR> <BR> The only meds I am on is amoxicilan. My throat still feels like Im swallowing gravel. ... Wed, 15 Oct 2014 10:31:05 EST eh. Last blog I asked you to kick my butt. In answer, yes I did get on my bike that day although I dont think I got on the treadmill. <BR> <BR> I havent lost anything in the last couple of weeks, but I have been holding pretty steady. Yesterday I did dip down to 295 so I am claiming it even though today I was at 296. I will get there again! <BR> <BR> I have been sick, right now my tonsils as the size of grapes. ICK! Just very run down too. Money worries, job stress. I'll come around,... Tue, 14 Oct 2014 19:16:12 EST I need someone to kick me in the seat of my pants. This week I am dragging. My mood is horrible. Had a fight with the husband, it seems to be on the mend but my motivation is almost non existent. Sitting here with my sneakers on trying to will myself to ride the bike and walk the treadmill. Making up the sorry excuse for a blog even, to keep from doing it. UGGGHH!!!! I just want to go back to bed. Work at 11 today, till 7:30 tonight. Off tomorrow. The scale has not moved all week. The first time in months. NADA. <BR> <BR> OK I ran ... Thu, 9 Oct 2014 08:11:19 EST My next 100 and a super gross story. When I think of my weight I still catch myself saying I am 300something. I am NOT. Hopefully I never will be again. My subconscious hasn't caught up with my body. It better just hurry the heck up, aint nobody got time for that. <BR> <BR> I have never been one of those people that could tell you what I weighed when I was 18, or 21, or when my first child was born. I can tell you when I was about 19-20 years old I wore a size 24W in women's jeans. I can also tell you a couple of years ag... Tue, 7 Oct 2014 19:11:37 EST 100 day streak. Today marks the 100th day in a row that I have logged on to Spark People. During that time I have lost approximately 40 pounds. <BR> <BR> I have struggled, rejoiced, cried, been frustrated, name it. QUESTIONED myself is a big one too. But...I was here. <BR> <BR> Here's to the next 100 days! Mon, 6 Oct 2014 20:59:54 EST I feel a little discombobulated. I feel like I can't quite grasp where I am at right now. I don't know if it's amazement that I struggled struggled struggled and then woke up and here I was under 300 for the first time in who knows how long or what. I can't seem to settle on my next goal to shoot for. I know I have 199 in the distance...but the immediate future is saying, ok what now? What can I lose next? <BR> <BR> At the same time I am cheating myself. Feeling like I deserve chips or a soda after all my hard work a... Tue, 30 Sep 2014 10:01:14 EST Granddaughter/Fall pics I had a wonderful week last week and this weekend. Not only did I squeak into the 200's, it was fair week and I got to spend time with my grand daughter. <img src=""> <img src=""> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> This week I am shooting for 295. Quite a chunk of change but it's something to strive for. <BR> <BR> Mon, 29 Sep 2014 08:11:28 EST WOOT! Guess who's in the 200's??? THIS GIRL! <BR> <BR> Today, I officially weigh LESS than what my driver's license says I do. lol. <BR> <BR> 299. During the county fair and During TOM. Typically if history repeats itself I will go back up a tiny bit next week, hopefully I can lose a couple more pounds that I can still stay under 300. <BR> <BR> Im claiming 2'VILLE, sticking a flag in it! <BR> <BR> :) Thu, 25 Sep 2014 06:40:23 EST just updating and accounting. I would have done really well today if it werent for all the FAT I ate today. Man I love cheese. Creamy Colby...mmmm. lol. Then we went out to eat for dinner. I logged it all. <BR> <BR> Spark says I did not go over number wise, just bad choices. <BR> <BR> I did work out for an hour this morning, then worked outside some, will post fall decor later. I got in over 16,000 steps today according to my fitbit tracker. <BR> <BR> All next week I plan to get in 1 whole hour of VERY active exe... Sun, 21 Sep 2014 21:49:00 EST -3 pounds! Morning's weigh in 301. I cant believe it. I was at 304 yesterday just hoping for a 1 pound loss to count as a maintain for the week, since last Friday I was 303. <BR> <BR> 2 pounds away from Twosville, although I am tired and did not sleep very well I am excited too! All that bad girl party food weight and water is gone! <BR> <BR> If it were not for the beep beep beep of someone backing into a driveway across the street I would still be asleep dreaming of going to the bathroom, lol. I ... Fri, 19 Sep 2014 08:38:26 EST Thursday. 1 pound to go and all my bad girl party weight will be gone *whew*! <BR> <BR> I have logged into Spark for 82 days in a row. Pretty darn good if I do say so myself. <BR> <BR> Last night while walking on the treadmill I tried small (and I mean SMALL) bouts of jogging. Enough to get my heart really pumping and my lungs REALLY working to the point that I remembered that feeling in Gym class in high school. Remember? When your lungs feel cold yet on fire at the same time and the feeling com... Thu, 18 Sep 2014 07:47:19 EST regaining my lead Is it really considered a weakness in a fat person to want to eat the same kinds of foods that everyone else eats? Isn't it our right to want to share in the celebration and the party and the FOOD without resorting to eating celery sticks while everyone else has cake? Why does eating a peice of cake make ME gain 4 pounds? Its UNFAIR I scream (internally where no one can hear me and call the looney wagon). <BR> <BR> Do you know what else is unfair? Water weight. I know IN MY HEAD that th... Tue, 16 Sep 2014 09:03:45 EST Bad bad girl. I haven't been very good the last couple of days. Thursday I did not hit my 10,000 steps :( Last night we went to pizza hut. :( :( I haven't blogged since TUESDAY! <BR> <BR> Scale is up, I am down. lol. I'll come out of it. Im sitting here in my nightgown and sweat shorts and tennis shoes, what a vision! Getting psyched up to get on my bike, then my treadmill, then I HAVE to do kettles today since I skipped those on Thursday and Friday too. My stomach is protesting the pizza hut like... Sat, 13 Sep 2014 08:09:48 EST Deflating Tuesdays This morning I am excited and scared and ready to go exercise. I have nervous energy. This morning I barely squeaked into 304...but hey the needle says Im in so Im taking it. 5 pounds to go in 13 days. Will I make it? (mini goal 299 by Sept 22) <BR> <BR> I am off work today. I know what this means for me. I will walk on my treadmill then I will sit. Walk some more, maybe ride my bike, then sit. Spurts of activity followed by facebook trolling. <BR> <BR> It's been a struggle these... Tue, 9 Sep 2014 07:53:37 EST Fat is as Fat does. This morning back to 306, whew! I still have a shot at this. <BR> <BR> Ya know when I started all of this I didn't so much think about my emotional well being. I never had an ah-ha moment, I just wanted to fit into cuter clothes. Hey Truth. What can I say? <BR> <BR> So whenever I hear the term "emotional eater" I really can't grasp that. I mean, I eat out of boredom sometimes but mostly I just love Love LOVE the taste of food. It's a pleasurable thing. It's definitely been a social ... Sun, 7 Sep 2014 11:03:17 EST Overwhelmed, thank you. Just a quick quick note on the heels of my previous blog. I am up 2 pounds, oh the joys of water weight. Weight because I ate SALT, that was on CHIPS that I shouldn't have had but IS a weakness for me. Ive drank sugar free lemonade, water and sugar free tea. Lots more going in than coming out. <BR> <BR> The replies to my last blog...OVERWHELMING! Thank you. <BR> <BR> Day before yesterday I went for a walk, OUTSIDE. I went over to the fairgrounds and walked around it. I felt slightl... Sat, 6 Sep 2014 07:33:07 EST Half Way. Milestone Moment. Starting weight 4+ years ago was 414. Today 306. Goal 199. Total to lose 215. I have lost 108 pounds. I have made it HALF WAY! <BR> <BR> It's been such a good couple of weeks for weight loss. I've really tried to concentrate in the intensity of my movements and not just getting up and hum drumming it through the grind of putting in my time. I've also tried to keep my carbs, fats and proteins within spark people's guidelines. <BR> <BR> I have also tried to lift my kettle bell every o... Thu, 4 Sep 2014 07:57:19 EST 9-3-14 Thanks to everyone for your comments on my previous blog, it means a lot :) <BR> <BR> I did comment on the wall of the group challenge, I never received any sort of reply or recognition so I will let it go for now. I lost, and I will continue to lose. No one is doing it for me so I'll go on and continue to do it for me :) <BR> <BR> The days are slipping by and the days between my blogs are getting farther apart. I NEED to blog to keep my head in the game. My "gumption" as I call it, som... Wed, 3 Sep 2014 09:52:55 EST Probably petty but still bothers me. Maybe this is wrong of me but I am one of those people that needs a little recognition for a job well done or I just lose the will to even try. <BR> <BR> I know it's silly but I joined this monthly challenge and the first month went well and I lost and I reported my losses and it was posted. I didn't really know anyone that well so no one really made many comments to me, I think 2 ladies did, cheering me on or responding to some little thing I'd put on the group forum. Super nice of them. ... Sun, 31 Aug 2014 10:40:48 EST Slap Happy Well my son is back in the good old US of A, thank goodness. Although still a thousand miles away from me. I'll take it. <BR> <BR> This month I lost 10 pounds and made it to 309. 309 was the lowest weight I reached about 3 years ago when I started so from here on out it's new territory. Yeah baby! <BR> <BR> Now I want to reach 299 by Sept 22. 10 pounds in 24 days. I hope this weekend doesnt derail me! <BR> <BR> My grand daughter is coming this weekend WOO HOO. I have to work tomorr... Fri, 29 Aug 2014 17:20:02 EST My heart weighs A LOT right now. I can't write what I really want to tell you about. There is a matter in my heart that weighs heavy right now. My son is in the Army, is supposed to be coming home. Not all are. Thats all I can say, probably not even that much. Thank you for your prayers. Thu, 28 Aug 2014 10:34:06 EST Putting it off. I will be honest, I am writing this blog to avoid walking on my treadmill. haha. <BR> <BR> My hips hurt this morning. I walked almost 2 miles yesterday on the treadmill, not counting my bike and at work. I am at the same weight I was last Saturday morning after a little upward swing in the scale. Hopefully I can get rid of at least 2 more pounds by Friday's official weigh in and the last weigh in of a challenge that I am in. <BR> <BR> I love having the weekends off but they hurt my we... Wed, 27 Aug 2014 07:11:30 EST 8/25/14 4 Months till Christmas! haha <BR> <BR> Started this week a little up on the scale, I will use my Lady-Time card here. I am working thru it and when it passes hopefully I will see a dip again towards the end of the week. My food wasn't the greatest on the weekend but I did my best to work out to burn it all back off again. At least according to the counters I was slightly higher on my burn than my intake. <BR> <BR> Really nothing much going on, just trying to extend my calorie burning b... Mon, 25 Aug 2014 18:19:36 EST 4 months <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src="">4 months. <BR> <BR> 4 months ago I decided that my downward spiral had to end and I was not going to be that person that gained all the weight back. I stopped myself and began again. I was back up to 345, from 309. Now 309 is still a big chunk of change. 414 is where I began. I am glad to say that I am back on the right path. Now, don't ge... Fri, 22 Aug 2014 08:18:30 EST