SANDY1969's SparkPeople Blog SANDY1969's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community 1 more day. Wow so here we are. Almost a month since my last blog. I have to say that lately I just don't have what it takes. I feel like such a fraud. <BR> <BR> I have been desperately trying to find that certain something that's going to send me over the edge or back on track. Nothing, and I repeat nothing can do this for me unless I want to do this. I can't fool myself into thinking that someone's words of advice or wisdom or before and after pictures are going to do it for me. <BR> <BR> I conf... Mon, 18 May 2015 19:11:49 EST Sweatin. WOO HOO! Day 30 of my 100 day challenge to myself. Trying to get back on track this week. I am sitting here sweating YAY! 38 minutes on my exercise bike. The water weight is coming off me from drinking so much water and sugar free lemonade yesterday. My food is not where I want to be, it was low cal yesterday, coming in just under 1500 but I could have used a bit more protein and a little less carbs. <BR> <BR> I also am fighting the sugar cravings. Trying to bypass the little debbie cakes. The... Tue, 28 Apr 2015 07:54:01 EST The month is almost out and nothing to show for it. Day 29 and Im no better off than when I started. I have been plagued by 2 illnesses so far that have thrown me all out of wack. Enough is enough. No more babying myself. It's time to sweat and I mean SWEAT. No more planning to do, but DOING. <BR> <BR> Today I could have used the excuse that I need some sleep (dont we all??) And stayed in bed and just laid there, because I knew I wouldnt go back to sleep...or get up and do something. 34 minutes on my exercise bike, doing the program tha... Mon, 27 Apr 2015 07:51:41 EST ok I guess today is Day 19. I feel slightly better today, thank you for the get well wishes. :) <BR> <BR> Found out the reason a woman at work missed a few days was she had a stomach bug...hmmm. Makes me wonder. <BR> <BR> I have work today and then off the weekend. I can not WAIT. <BR> <BR> I haven't been on the treadmill much this week. Really starting to wonder if when I do get on my treadmill I need to eat more. I really just don't know at this point. <BR> <BR> Im down about 8-9 pounds in 19 days. My go... Fri, 17 Apr 2015 08:02:38 EST sick. I think it's Day 17 on my 100 day challenge. Today I feel like death warmed over. I dont know if my Greek yogurt yesterday had gone bad or what but this morning has not been pleasant. I stand up and feel like I want to pass out. <BR> <BR> I am supposed to go to work later. Right now I am drinking some water to stay hydrated and eating some cereal to get something in my body, hoping that it will make me feel better. <BR> <BR> I just dont see myself doing much of anything today. <BR> <... Thu, 16 Apr 2015 11:16:56 EST A good day for a good day. That is what I have to keep telling myself :) <BR> <BR> It's Friday, heck yeah. Feeling tired this morning, had a late shift last night at work. <BR> <BR> Ive had a really great week this week food wise. Small cheats with the reeses eggs, but only 1 a day and included in my calories. <BR> <BR> A trip to the grocery store yesterday and I bought more fruits and veggies than ever before. <BR> <BR> This weekend scares me. I have it off. Now if I can stay busy and not stuff my face. <... Fri, 10 Apr 2015 07:05:58 EST A whole lotta somethin. You may get lost in the reading. :) Laying in bed at night I can think of these really awesome blog ideas and what I want to really say. I wake up and sit here though and it's like...yeah gonna exercise, gonna eat right...blah blah. BORING. <BR> <BR> Let me tell ya this stuff is HARD. It's hard to diet let alone self exam yourself to the points where you know WHY you do the things you do. Emotional eater? Social Eater? Do you eat to get high?? My addiction is TASTE. <BR> <BR> Is every single celebration about food? ... Thu, 9 Apr 2015 07:55:40 EST Day 10 <BR> Time to push myself to get past the place I am stuck in right now. Time to fuel my body instead of eating food for pleasure/entertainment/rewards. <BR> <BR> Worked hard to get in 12,000 steps yesterday. My foot is feeling it today. <BR> <BR> Took another picture, really cant see that much of a difference yet. Im not very good with visually recording my efforts. Maybe someday I'll actually do a video. ha! <BR> <BR> Must get ready for work. Happy Hump Day! <BR> Wed, 8 Apr 2015 07:55:06 EST Day 9 already? Not a very productive weekend losing weight. My Easter consisted of getting caught up on the laundry. It's that time of the months so I pretty much just said BLAH BLAH BLAH. <BR> <BR> Still trying to be accountable even if the reports suck. <BR> <BR> 4 day work week, heck yeah! lol. <BR> <BR> Off we soon as I get this toothpaste off my black pants...ugggh! lol <BR> <BR> Have a good one. Tue, 7 Apr 2015 08:31:41 EST Days 4, 5 and 6. Days 4 and 5 were normal, no extra ordinary efforts, no major fails...just passed by. Day 6 (today) will be GREAT! Even though I have to work 11-7 today and put up with crazy people. Planning a major workout...which is always bigger in my mind than I actually do, but it's better than not doing anything right? <BR> <BR> I even dug my ratty old cut off sweat pants out....It's about to get real! lol <BR> <BR> Absolutely no plans for Easter Sunday. Maybe something on the grill. <BR> <BR> ... Sat, 4 Apr 2015 07:46:24 EST Fat Lottery Day 3 of 100 day challenge. This is day 3 of my 100 day challenge to become a better version of me. <BR> <BR> I am writing early, as my day work schedule is wacky and I work afternoon/evening instead of morning. I am sitting here with shoes on and about to get on my bike...and now taking every opportunity to delay that reading blogs and comments and facebooking and pinteresting....ugggh! lol <BR> <BR> So let's talk about winning the fat lottery. <BR> <BR> I look at, I wish I could say I USED to look at, skinny ... Wed, 1 Apr 2015 08:44:33 EST 100 day challenge day 2 Today's gone well so far. On track eating, maybe a little low in calories according to spark, but still just over 1200 calories. <BR> <BR> Was up this morning at 5, I did try really hard to get up early enough to get on the treadmill but I just did not make it. I came home from work and have done 20 minutes so far, I plan on doing more later. <BR> <BR> I have my daughter on board with me. She's not living with me so we are just texting back and forth. Just trying to be supportive an... Tue, 31 Mar 2015 17:58:01 EST 100 day challenge to myself <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Starting weight 319. <BR> <BR> Not pretty huh? This journey sometimes isn't. I have decided that today will be the first day of a personal 100 day challenge. <BR> <BR> I have been looking for motivation, hopefully this will get me going. <BR> <BR> Im going to take a picture every week and at the end of 100 days hopefully you will see COLLARBONES! lol. <BR> <BR> I do not know if I will add a whole body sho... Mon, 30 Mar 2015 08:24:03 EST Am I mad? I need to be. What am I today? <BR> Am I mad? Am I fired up? Am I blah? Yes Yes Yes. <BR> I need a plan and I need one fast. <BR> 1 hour, every day. 1 hour of sweat. <BR> 8-10 glasses of water. <BR> Cut down the sugar and caffeine. <BR> 319 this morning. Not where I want to be. <BR> <BR> I have been eating everything in sight and doing no exercising. Binge. Yep. I have to get a hold of myself. <BR> <BR> I will solidify my plan today. I will take pictures of this body to use as inspiration to do... Mon, 23 Mar 2015 06:42:13 EST 314 Ugggh back up to 314 this Monday. Really not bad considering though I guess. Not a lot of drive this past week. No extra walking and not great on water intake. Will try and turn that around this week. Packed a good lunch, watching carbs, fats and proteins for a good balance. Water...*check* Am babysitting the grand daughter this week. Mon, 16 Mar 2015 07:06:45 EST Will this week never end? Well I lost my fitbit for a day or so and totally lost my drive. Also abut lost my mind. It was a rough week. THAT week to hate. My nerves got the best of me and I about had a mini melt down last night. Just frustration. Dropping things, losing things and being 100% annoyed and 105% annoying. lol. <BR> <BR> Thank goodness I know that what it is and can lock most of it away for a few days and not go totally beserk like I used to. <BR> <BR> I didn't weigh myself any this week, I do not... Thu, 12 Mar 2015 19:27:50 EST housework or me. Why does it take me 20 minutes to eat a small packet of oatmeal but if it had been left over pizza I would gulped that down in 30 seconds? <BR> <BR> Today Im off from work, waiting for another big snow to hit. I wonder if I should go buy bread and milk? I have bread and milk I just feel like I have this <BR> <BR> Sorry I work at a Walmart in the pharmacy and the last 2 days have been CRAZY. The whole store last night was buzzing. Got to get their pain meds! Can't be without... Wed, 4 Mar 2015 08:30:32 EST March 1, pretty successful February Not real sure how it happened but I am down 10 pounds from Feb 1. I was totally blown away when I weighed myself and the scale fell on 308. Happy Happy Happy! <BR> <BR> This past 6 days I have walked at least 1.25 miles BEFORE going to work and then sometimes coming home and walking more. I had a personal goal of getting in at least 12,000 steps a day and I did it...twice I hit 15,000. <BR> <BR> Today I am taking a rest day. Or at least I haven't walked yet. I may later if the mood hit... Sun, 1 Mar 2015 11:27:06 EST Last Day To lock it down for the month of February. Woke up at 5, did not have to be up yet. Electric had gone out in the night so I knew by the time I re-set my clock and went potty I'd never go back to sleep anyway so here I am. <BR> <BR> I really do not want to walk this morning, but I have my shoes on and a very large cup of water. Trying to find the will and inspiration to get up and get it done. <BR> <BR> I volunteered to bring in special amish donuts today, the pharmacist loves donuts. ... Sat, 28 Feb 2015 06:18:00 EST almost but not quite Almost blew it. Had those toaster strudels in my hand. 180 calories that's not so bad. But how many did I have to eat to get full? <BR> <BR> What I actually ate was a turkey sandwich, banana and yogurt. 380 calories total. Crisis averted!! lol <BR> <BR> Every week this month I have lost weight only to gain it all back again on the weekend. I work hard all week it and a couple more...then I do it all over again. I started the month at 318. I started the week at 318.... Thu, 26 Feb 2015 10:01:25 EST It's a new dawn. OK Today is a new day. <BR> <BR> Enough griping and whining. Time to make today better and more successful. <BR> <BR> Drink my water. <BR> Get my heart rate up walking. <BR> New personal challenge of 12,000 steps a day this week. I can't do that sitting here. <BR> <BR> Have a great day! <BR> <BR> Tue, 24 Feb 2015 06:12:52 EST So mad I could spit Today's not been a great day. I slept horrible, my weight was up because of the weekend, I had to be at work early...then I come home to my "support system" Spark people, and read an email from someone that's supposed to be a help mate. <BR> <BR> I belong to a group. In the past I have been involved in monthly challenges. I try and post frequently, or I used to. I have not become close to a lot of these people although I have kept track and left comments on some people's blogs and tried ... Mon, 23 Feb 2015 18:50:55 EST Today so far Well I had a short shift at work this morning. I had to be there at 7:30 so no walk but I just walked a little bit for a small calorie burn, now my grand daughter and I are lifting 1 pound weights. Ok she is almost 2 years old. She does not start at 1, she likes the number 9, so we do 9, 9, 9, 9.... <BR> <BR> I am trying to be so very good with food today. I am on the cusp of a "loss" for the week. As long as it's 1 tiny pound I will be happy. Time to find the joy in that. <BR> <BR> I... Fri, 20 Feb 2015 15:43:14 EST Better days. Yesterday turned out to be a much better day than I have had in over a week. I was on track, not over calories, exercised, drank water...which lead to bathroom trips which got rid of the weekend weight. Now to just work on a loss for Saturday. Even 1 itty bitty pound. Or, as I like to imagine...4 sticks of butter! lol. <BR> <BR> This morning I walked 1.59 miles on the dread mill. No time for the bike. Maybe after work. Got to go get ready, everyone have a fabulous day! <BR> <BR> Thu, 19 Feb 2015 07:52:59 EST not worthy of a title This past week I am struggling badly with food. Not exercise and staying active but food. By food, BAD food. Not a lot of food, just BAD food. <BR> <BR> Wanting to crawl into my chocolate cave and forget about all of this for a while. Maybe it's the weather and trying to find comfort. <BR> <BR> Just more than I care to think about today. I have to go walk. *sigh* Wed, 18 Feb 2015 08:36:46 EST Heading for the weekend. Yesterdays food consumption was a wee bit horrid. Not a LOT of food just bad choices. Still stayed pretty active during the day though and this morning I walked a little over 1.5 miles and rode my exercise bike for 16 minutes (4 miles). <BR> <BR> Off to work today ugggghhhh! But then 3 days off. We are going to Louisville Ky and Illinois in 2 trips this weekend. I live in Ohio. I have a new outfit to wear for the Louisville trip so Im all geared to go! Thu, 12 Feb 2015 08:10:50 EST Todays goals Get the housework done, laundry caught up, and dye my hair! My daughter calls them strands of glitter. Embrace the glitter she says....bah I say! lol <BR> <BR> Home from work today, have not put on my fitbit zip step counter as I run around bare footed at home. <BR> <BR> Sure do miss my lil monkey face (grand daughter) <img src=""> My daughter Molly and her baby Aubree. <BR> <BR> That's as close as she would get to Santa this year... Wed, 11 Feb 2015 10:19:44 EST Maybe a little tmi The scale is not moving do to a few things. 1. my food choices in the evening have been not so great. Not over calorie, just carb-o-rama. Fats too. Struggling to do better. I have to make the exercising count. <BR> <BR> On a high note I went back and looked and I weight 30 pounds less than I did at this time last year. Not my lowest weight but I am happy about that. <BR> <BR> I follow Tony (spelling on this last name) Polanski?? on facebook. He used to be a big guy, now he blogs. ... Tue, 10 Feb 2015 07:56:50 EST Do you think about your weight all day too? How many times will I think about my weight today? How many times will it embarrass me? <BR> <BR> My husband and I were out yesterday. We went shopping and we went out to eat. I bought some work clothes. They were size 3X. I feel good about that, but I know they are a BIG size 3X. When I began this a few years back I was ordering 4-5X's out of a catalog. <BR> <BR> I am self conscious when people walk past me in the big girl section of clothes. I do not want them to see me looking at ... Sun, 8 Feb 2015 08:56:18 EST Today is the day that... things slow down. <BR> <BR> Ya know after you make that HUGE decision all over again for the tenth time to start over and you are all gung ho and you are really, really trying and the weight melts off for the first few days... <BR> <BR> Then bam. You just cant pee out any more. lol The scale didn't move this morning. <BR> <BR> So now, from this moment on I know the weight loss will be about weight and not just losing that first initial water weight. NOW is when the real work begins. N... Thu, 5 Feb 2015 06:11:12 EST wants and needs. Yeppers Im still kickin...although not very high. <BR> <BR> Anyone have a match?? I need a spark. I just cant get motivated. I cant get into meal planning. I am a SUGAR-HOLIC. <BR> <BR> I gained back about 25 pounds since Thanksgiving of the 54 I lost since last summer. That stops today. I am pulling out all my old tricks. <BR> <BR> I have a calendar again to write my weight on, that I can stick in front of my nose and does not disappear after I log out. <BR> <BR> I have written my s... Mon, 2 Feb 2015 16:54:39 EST Late work day Equals more sleep you'd think! <BR> <BR> Drinking more water equals MORE potty trips during the night. <BR> <BR> Oh the life of a future beauty queen....sigh* lol <BR> <BR> This morning I just feel like the stuff on the bottom of a beauty queen's shoe if she were walking through a cow pasture. <BR> <BR> Having some pain issues across the top of my left foot. Feels like I am walking on a stump. I think it has to do with planter fascitis (sp?) Hopefully it will loosen up as I walk. <BR> ... Thu, 15 Jan 2015 09:22:10 EST Day 2 back. Again. <BR> <BR> Wow I just want to get this done already. I never wanted to be the person, you know, THAT person that loses, then quits, then restarts over and over again. It's going on 6 long years and it is really hitting me that I will have to fight this the rest of my life. <BR> <BR> I cant "take breaks" and just stay at the same weight, I gain. YES gain. <BR> <BR> Thankfully I have never gained back EVERYTHING I lost plus more. At least not when it's been a significant amount, li... Tue, 13 Jan 2015 17:36:07 EST Life member. Going on my 6th year here in a couple weeks. <BR> Attempting to get back to my better habits. Cleaned the exercise room out enough to actually get ON the equipment again after a new furnace install....MONTHS ago. I have a new battery in my fitbit zip. <BR> <BR> Current weight 314ish. <BR> <BR> Sitting here drinking water and logging back onto to Spark and Fitbit. Resetting my goals since I did not make my old ones. <BR> <BR> I really am NOT feeling this. I guess it's a success to actua... Mon, 12 Jan 2015 06:31:10 EST 306 today. which is 3 pounds less than last month so HOO RAH! :) <BR> <BR> Bought veggies and recommitted to drinking water. <BR> <BR> More later. <BR> <BR> Back to work today! Fri, 2 Jan 2015 08:38:10 EST Be nice. Man yesterday I could really tell I was in withdraw. It was a struggle to be nice to people. I am usually called Sunshine at work...yesterday not so much. <BR> <BR> Drank water, not a lot but no mountain dew either. A small Oatmeal cookie with a banana for breakfast. So the sugar was in control. <BR> <BR> I want the high that comes from seeing the scale go down, instead of the fake feeling from junking myself up! <BR> <BR> Have a great day, be KIND to people. I work in a pharmacy an... Tue, 9 Dec 2014 08:38:11 EST 309#s Yep that's my weight from this morning. Up about 10-15 pounds since October. Really surprised it's not more. Woke with a new determination to get back on track. I had to dig my scale out of a pile of paint boxes and put it in the hallway. <BR> <BR> Life's been hectic, but whose hasn't? I got made full time at work so I have typically 1 less day off per week. I haven't exercised in Lord knows how long, a couple months at least. <BR> <BR> Trying to get ready for Christmas. We put a new... Mon, 8 Dec 2014 07:35:03 EST Another day. Well I am mostly sickness free I think. At least my throat doesn't hurt, now I can swallow. <BR> <BR> I was really baby-ing myself too. Sure, you feel bad..go ahead and drink that nice Caramel frappe'. And that chocolate Frosty, yes they feel soooo good going down. *eye roll* <BR> <BR> Go ahead you can do it too. *eye roll*. Yesterday I got back on the bike and rode it about 35 minutes. I did not have time this morning, and tomorrow morning isnt looking good. <BR> <BR> Got some ... Tue, 21 Oct 2014 17:53:08 EST 292 or 291, THAT is the question. Ok this sickness is really getting on my nerves. Probably yours also. SO....moving on. <BR> <BR> Today I have to put the finishing touches on all the crafts I have ready to go then later today we are going to go set up at the church that the show is being held at. Tomorrow is the big day. Our first craft show this year. I'll post pics! <BR> <BR> Last year we did 5 or 6 shows, we just aren't as motivated this year or something. We have another show Nov 1 that is our favorite one an... Fri, 17 Oct 2014 10:05:41 EST Who woulda thought. That Id get up today (at 10 am mind you) and weigh myself and having a 3-4 pound loss? Yep the scale hit 292. I had not been drinking a lot of fluids, so I tried hard yesterday to drink lots of water. I was up 3 times in the night to GO. That and getting much needed sleep in between must have helped. I did rush around at work yesterday but I did not do any extra exercises. I ate regular. <BR> <BR> The only meds I am on is amoxicilan. My throat still feels like Im swallowing gravel. ... Wed, 15 Oct 2014 10:31:05 EST eh. Last blog I asked you to kick my butt. In answer, yes I did get on my bike that day although I dont think I got on the treadmill. <BR> <BR> I havent lost anything in the last couple of weeks, but I have been holding pretty steady. Yesterday I did dip down to 295 so I am claiming it even though today I was at 296. I will get there again! <BR> <BR> I have been sick, right now my tonsils as the size of grapes. ICK! Just very run down too. Money worries, job stress. I'll come around,... Tue, 14 Oct 2014 19:16:12 EST I need someone to kick me in the seat of my pants. This week I am dragging. My mood is horrible. Had a fight with the husband, it seems to be on the mend but my motivation is almost non existent. Sitting here with my sneakers on trying to will myself to ride the bike and walk the treadmill. Making up the sorry excuse for a blog even, to keep from doing it. UGGGHH!!!! I just want to go back to bed. Work at 11 today, till 7:30 tonight. Off tomorrow. The scale has not moved all week. The first time in months. NADA. <BR> <BR> OK I ran ... Thu, 9 Oct 2014 08:11:19 EST My next 100 and a super gross story. When I think of my weight I still catch myself saying I am 300something. I am NOT. Hopefully I never will be again. My subconscious hasn't caught up with my body. It better just hurry the heck up, aint nobody got time for that. <BR> <BR> I have never been one of those people that could tell you what I weighed when I was 18, or 21, or when my first child was born. I can tell you when I was about 19-20 years old I wore a size 24W in women's jeans. I can also tell you a couple of years ag... Tue, 7 Oct 2014 19:11:37 EST 100 day streak. Today marks the 100th day in a row that I have logged on to Spark People. During that time I have lost approximately 40 pounds. <BR> <BR> I have struggled, rejoiced, cried, been frustrated, name it. QUESTIONED myself is a big one too. But...I was here. <BR> <BR> Here's to the next 100 days! Mon, 6 Oct 2014 20:59:54 EST I feel a little discombobulated. I feel like I can't quite grasp where I am at right now. I don't know if it's amazement that I struggled struggled struggled and then woke up and here I was under 300 for the first time in who knows how long or what. I can't seem to settle on my next goal to shoot for. I know I have 199 in the distance...but the immediate future is saying, ok what now? What can I lose next? <BR> <BR> At the same time I am cheating myself. Feeling like I deserve chips or a soda after all my hard work a... Tue, 30 Sep 2014 10:01:14 EST Granddaughter/Fall pics I had a wonderful week last week and this weekend. Not only did I squeak into the 200's, it was fair week and I got to spend time with my grand daughter. <img src=""> <img src=""> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> This week I am shooting for 295. Quite a chunk of change but it's something to strive for. <BR> <BR> Mon, 29 Sep 2014 08:11:28 EST WOOT! Guess who's in the 200's??? THIS GIRL! <BR> <BR> Today, I officially weigh LESS than what my driver's license says I do. lol. <BR> <BR> 299. During the county fair and During TOM. Typically if history repeats itself I will go back up a tiny bit next week, hopefully I can lose a couple more pounds that I can still stay under 300. <BR> <BR> Im claiming 2'VILLE, sticking a flag in it! <BR> <BR> :) Thu, 25 Sep 2014 06:40:23 EST just updating and accounting. I would have done really well today if it werent for all the FAT I ate today. Man I love cheese. Creamy Colby...mmmm. lol. Then we went out to eat for dinner. I logged it all. <BR> <BR> Spark says I did not go over number wise, just bad choices. <BR> <BR> I did work out for an hour this morning, then worked outside some, will post fall decor later. I got in over 16,000 steps today according to my fitbit tracker. <BR> <BR> All next week I plan to get in 1 whole hour of VERY active exe... Sun, 21 Sep 2014 21:49:00 EST -3 pounds! Morning's weigh in 301. I cant believe it. I was at 304 yesterday just hoping for a 1 pound loss to count as a maintain for the week, since last Friday I was 303. <BR> <BR> 2 pounds away from Twosville, although I am tired and did not sleep very well I am excited too! All that bad girl party food weight and water is gone! <BR> <BR> If it were not for the beep beep beep of someone backing into a driveway across the street I would still be asleep dreaming of going to the bathroom, lol. I ... Fri, 19 Sep 2014 08:38:26 EST Thursday. 1 pound to go and all my bad girl party weight will be gone *whew*! <BR> <BR> I have logged into Spark for 82 days in a row. Pretty darn good if I do say so myself. <BR> <BR> Last night while walking on the treadmill I tried small (and I mean SMALL) bouts of jogging. Enough to get my heart really pumping and my lungs REALLY working to the point that I remembered that feeling in Gym class in high school. Remember? When your lungs feel cold yet on fire at the same time and the feeling com... Thu, 18 Sep 2014 07:47:19 EST