SAMMYLUVS3DD's SparkPeople Blog SAMMYLUVS3DD's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Body Positivity! Ok, so I am about to go on a bit of a rant here. Not like a yelling thing, more of a wake up and smell the coffee thing. <BR> <BR> I know that this site, and many others similar(but never the same, because really? No one is as awesome as this site....and this one is free!) to this one are all doing their best to help people put and end to being overweight. And that is why we are all here, right? To be able to gather all the tools to not be overweight anymore. <BR> <BR> <BR> So here is my... Mon, 25 Feb 2013 09:12:53 EST Romance situation=Stressed!! Ok. I have been seeing this guy since October of 2012. He is an AMAZING guy. Little niave about romance and dating, but not crippled in those areas either. So I really like him. That is not the problem. <BR> <BR> The minor(in my head it seems MAJOR) issue is that he told me last night that his Mom keeps "bugging" him about meeting me. Well, that isnt the issue either. The real issue is all on me. <BR> <BR> I have been married once. When I met the parents of the ex I was quite possibly 8... Tue, 19 Feb 2013 05:48:45 EST Wow!! So I decided to finally bust out the Dance of the Inches Latin party pack... <BR> 1. I am so sore. Who knew I had so many muscles to hurt all at once. <BR> <BR> 2. I am not nearly as coordinated or adept at salsa dancing as I had hoped when I bought this workout package. <BR> <BR> I can honestly say that I am having fun, and that even though I am sore, I am totally going to go for it again today. <img src=""> Tue, 12 Feb 2013 18:14:43 EST Maybe whining a little will help... I have had, what feels like, the emotional week from hell. Monday I went to a memorial for my friends grandmother. She needed me, and I wanted to be there for her, no matter what. The memorial, unfortunately, was held where my Mom was cremated, and where we planned her memorial also. I was able to make it through the ceremony and the meet and greet and all that, but as soon as I got home, I felt like someone had sucked the life and love and happiness right out of me. I do know that my Mom wou... Sat, 19 Jan 2013 01:46:19 EST Blog or go crazy...easy choice. Sigh. That seems to be the sentiment for this upcoming week. I have so much to do and some of it may be very hard for me to deal with. <BR> <BR> 1-I am starting my second week of physical therapy. I hate every bloody minute of it, but I know that I need to go in order to regain my life. I am tired of not being able to do things because of my janky shoulder. <BR> <BR> 2-I am going to my first memorial since my own Mothers memorial 22 months ago. I know that is almost two years, but it is N... Sun, 13 Jan 2013 21:05:48 EST I FINALLY DID IT! I am so excited! For once, I was able to stay within my calorie range yesterday. I know that may be a small step for some, it is a HUGE step for me. Especially since yesterday was stressful(I have been battling L&I, my work, and my injury since February 2012). Usually when I am stressed out I over eat and then feel guilty, which then I eat more. Hooray for working hard at relaxing and not over stressing and over eating. <BR> <BR> <em>224</em> Fri, 11 Jan 2013 03:32:01 EST Compromising with myself Today I went for my first walk of the week. I have been having some issues with motivation lately. Could be remnants of the holiday depression I get since Mom has been gone. Anyways, so I was sitting here thinking about how great a nap I told myself that I could take a nap, but I had to go walking for at least 30 minutes. So while trying to rationalize why taking a nap is so much better than going for a walk, I proceeded to get dressed and grab my headphones and phone(thats wh... Sat, 5 Jan 2013 16:42:59 EST Frustration to the maximum So I have this friend....I call her my frienemy. Every time she and I talk I end up feeling terrible. Like cry myself to sleep terrible. We became friends through our job, and have been great friends up until about a year ago. I am not sure what changed exactly. But now she feels a need, almost a compulsion, to constantly remind me of "how beautiful I would look if I was able to drop at least 50lbs" (those are HER words). Everytime she talks like this to me I begin to feel like there isnt eve... Fri, 4 Jan 2013 08:09:46 EST One week Post Surgery So I had surgery on my right shoulder on November 9, 2012. I know this doesn't sound too tragic...except for the fact that I am right handed and cannot do almost anything with my left. I know! How did that work out you ask, well, I didnt have too many issues as I was able to do some things with my left hand, but I have some pretty amazing fricking friends, thats for dang sure. <BR> Now it is time to get back on the wagon of focusing on me. I have come up with every excuse over the past three... Mon, 19 Nov 2012 08:07:17 EST My journey is far from over-includes SAD details. I am not sure who(or how many) of my fellow Sparkers have told me that I will have many Ah Ha! moments. I apologize for not being able to call you each out personally, but believe me, I thank you from the tips of my toes. During the past couple months I have had quite a few of those spectacular ah ha moments and I love being able to share them with others who may need...a start to their own moment? <BR> <BR> First, there are A LOT OF HATERS!!! I mean wow! Who would have thought that there w... Mon, 16 Jul 2012 00:35:15 EST Day 1 The past few days have been rough. I seriously think I am having a side effect to my med for my boo boo, but despite all that, today I made sure to get out and do my 30 minutes. I really wanted to stop after 10, but I pushed it to 30. Today was a huge ordeal for me. I actually stood in my bedroom looking at my workout clothes trying to talk myself out of putting them on. In fact I continued the self sabotage talk even WHILE I WAS GETTING DRESSED in my work out clothes.Really? WTHeck? Even tho... Tue, 22 May 2012 00:06:39 EST One of those weeks... This has been one of those weeks where I want to scream and throw myself on the ground and just throw the biggest stinking fit that would put any crowd of 3 year olds to shame. <BR> But Im way to exhausted. <BR> I dont know if my asthma is kicking my derriere,or if its allergies, or if I have a cold, but hot damn if I am not having one heck of a time trying to catch my between the coughing fits. But at least if I am super sick, the antibiotics Im on to keep my hand from falling... Sat, 19 May 2012 02:03:20 EST My first AH HA! moment Sitting here reading over my previous blogs and also reading other peoples blogs and also reading The Spark I have come across my very first epiphany....and ah ha moment! It is this... <BR> <BR> I will only gain control over my eating habits and issues once I can learn to cope with the emotions that trigger me. <BR> <BR> For instance, I just recently learned that I have a terrible problem with hiding that I am eating. This started when I was younger. I think it stemmed from the constant re... Sun, 13 May 2012 04:49:40 EST I get too excited too easily So I met this really great guy like 3-4 weeks ago. We met in person and seemed t really hit it off. Or so I thought. We had both talked about how we werent going to jump in to anything all super serious, which worked for me because I seem to have the worst luck with relationships anyways. So then after not talking for a few days I try and contact the person and there is this really weird awkwardness, even in the way he texted...only to find out that he "meant to call" and tell me that he was ... Sat, 5 May 2012 01:38:27 EST So much has changed In the past couple of years so much of my life has seemed to change. I had become a manger at my job, then my Mom passed away,I quit smoking, and just recently I stepped down from being a manager. As I read back over my previous blogs it occured to me that the little bit of drama I have always faced in my life always seems so trivial just a few months later. I remember when I began my stint as a House Manager for the company I work for I was so worried about everything and practically killed ... Tue, 1 May 2012 01:28:54 EST What better reason Today I went grocery shopping with my Grandma and Mom. <BR> <BR> I almost lost my Mom a couple days ago due to her blood sugars being out of control. My Mom is a cardiac patient and a diabetic with bad eyesight and an amputated leg. <BR> <BR> My Grandma is also a cardiac patient, and a diabetic. <BR> <BR> Genetically speaking I am not looking so hot. <BR> <BR> So while I am at the store with them I am realizing that the information I am giving them is some of the info I learned here. <... Sat, 31 Jul 2010 06:27:26 EST Karma=not a joke As I was driving home today trying to think of why possibly I had the worst headache/migraine ever, not even thinking that it could have been the crappiest day I've had in awhile at work, I decide that I am going to be the saboteur of my own self and that I am going to go and get some crap food at some crap fast food joint. <BR> At the crap fast food joint I am perusing the menu in the drive-thru because of course I cant go in. If I'm going to screw myself on purpose I'm gonna do it right. S... Thu, 22 Jul 2010 22:55:33 EST Interesting I discovered(it should have been so obvious)that the worse I feel the less I want to do anything, but the more I SHOULD do something. I got pulled over, got a ticket, had a terrible day at work dealing with a fellow staff who makes me want to go insane, and then didnt eat often enough so i felt all woozy and shaky like my body was made of cooked noodles and was too scared to go on my walk for fear I would pass out...sigh. Tomorrow is a new day and I can learn from my mistakes I have made toda... Tue, 20 Jul 2010 01:10:52 EST Imma do this right! So, in my head it makes complete sense to me that if I am going to succeed and do this thing right this time, then I need to hold myself completely accountable for all my actions...or in this case my inaction. <BR> I woke up today feeling like blah. Ever have one of those days where just moving to move the covers is a freaking task? That was me today. Well, yesterday as I am writing this at crack ass early in the morning. So last night I had big plans to wake up on Saturday morning and put... Sun, 18 Jul 2010 04:04:45 EST Let's try this again. So apparently I joined this site back in October of 2008. Wow. That honestly feels like a lifetime ago. Since then I have quit smoking(59 days, 11 hours and 32 minutes) which is a huge feat in itself. Now that I have done that, I need to do this. I NEED to lose weight, not just because I want to be dangerously sexy(that would be an awesome bonus though) but because I do not want to face the same hardships that my mom is facing. Diabetic, lost a leg, going blind, heart problems...thats a scary... Sat, 17 Jul 2010 02:35:37 EST I am exhausted!!! <em>102</em> I am so tired today. I was doint well with the water, and the eating well, and the not smoking, and then things didn't go so perfect with the bf, and well, the eating went down the tubes. At least I havent smoked. I have been quit for a week now. And yes, I still have cravings that I would kill over, LOL. Any good ideas, cuz the merry hug a tree, or take a walk ones aren't cutting it right now. Sat, 18 Oct 2008 05:51:10 EST