SAD64PSYCH's SparkPeople Blog SAD64PSYCH's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community A pre-new year resolution So, here I am again, struggling and depressed about my ongoing battle with unwanted pounds and physical problems that have dominated my life for the last half year. I have not been able to exercise for months now due to physical limitations and my weight has been going up partially as a result of the lack of exercise and , to be truthful, partially because I have been eating way too much in response to physical and emotional pain. New I am scheduled for a total knee replacement in February an... Wed, 4 Dec 2013 19:53:42 EST Week One is Done! So, today marked one week of doing the old,old, weight watcher program that was called Qucikstart........and when I weighed myself this morning I had lost 4.3 lbs.! I have NEVER lost this much in one week - or even in two weeks. I hope this momentum continues, though I am a bit worried because we will be traveling away from home from Saturday through next Thursday and being away from home always makes things so much more challenging. I am motivated to stick to it throughout the trip as best ... Tue, 30 Jul 2013 21:08:48 EST Trying a New Approach Well, I have spent months and months doing the WW Points Plus program and have been totally frustrated with the lack of success, despite being faithful to the program. This week I searched my house and found the original materials I used when I first joined WW in 1988 and lost thirty pounds. I have gotten older and have more medical issues etc., so I don't expect to lose as quickly or as much as I did all those years ago, but I am hoping this old program will work again for me to some degree... Thu, 25 Jul 2013 11:22:20 EST A Fresh Start Life can be a struggle.......everyone experiences times like that, but not everyone reacts like I do. I have spent the last few weeks struggling with emotional eating and have seen the negative results created by such behavior. Today the scale confirmed my fears that my mindless and, sometime deliberate, mistreatment of my body has just added to my feelings of depression and stress. SO today I committed myself to respecting my body and have started all over in the weight management journey. I... Fri, 12 Apr 2013 15:31:27 EST New Scale Blues I got a new scale since the one I have been using for years has obviously gone crazy - one step on it had me thirty pounds less than the day before! The new one weighs me in as higher than the old one by a couple of pounds. It's depressing, but probably more accurate. This one weighs in increments of two tenths of a pound , so I am hoping to see progress in small increments. Right now though, I have to deal with the higher readings than those I have been seeing. YUCK! So now my ticker looks... Sun, 24 Mar 2013 09:52:31 EST Getting the Spark Back Well, over the last few weeks life has been sad and stressful and I have increased the stress I feel by eating poorly and gaining back some of the weight I worked so hard to lose. However; on Tuesday I grabbed myself by the scruff of my neckbands hook some sense back into my head. I have been back on track for the last two days and intend to stay there! I want to thank all the folks who commented on my previous blog entry with encouragement......having friends who care enough to leave a messa... Thu, 21 Mar 2013 10:04:22 EST Starting Over The last couple of weeks have been difficult emotionally and I have lapsed into old, poor eating habits, but today I have determined that I will get back on track and stay there! The day is going along we'll so far . YAY! <BR> Mon, 11 Mar 2013 13:56:55 EST Hanging in There Life is stressful and busy these days as we help my Dad adjust to his new life with us and cope with the major depression he is experiencing after losing my Mom after 71 years of marriage. I am trying to stay on track, but have been less successful over the past weeks. I have not been able to spend as much time on spark people as I have in past weeks. I know this will change and hope to be back to watching, tracking, and chatting here again soon. <BR> Wed, 6 Mar 2013 17:57:35 EST Unmotivated Today I woke up later than usual today......with the plan to get to the Y this morning, but am unmotivated to go out in the snow and jump on the treadmill. I know I shouldnt, but I am taking the day off. I, along with my husband and father, are adjusting - or trying to adjust - to our new family grouping. It is easy to have my Dad around, but hard to see him as frail and depressed as he is at this point in his life. The loss of my mother has turned his world upsidedown! I am working hard to make t... Sat, 2 Mar 2013 09:46:25 EST A Changed Life We are back in Maine and have brought my Dad to live with us. We are all in mourning and grieving in our own ways. Now we are also getting adjusted to a new family configuration, too. My Dad is doing better than I expected in adapting to the changed environment, but sometimes I see the grief so plainly on his face that it makes me cry. This is going to be a long process...... <BR> <BR> I want to thank all of you spark friends for your kind words and support - it really has meant a lot to me ... Sun, 24 Feb 2013 09:14:05 EST A Very Sad Week On Saturday while the blizzard was raging in Maine, my sister who had been in NY with my parents, along with her husband called to say that my mother who has been ill for a very long time, was failing rapidly and that I needed to get to NY. We were unable to leave until Sunday morning due to weather conditions, but after experiencing car troubles and losing about two hours of what should have been travel time,we arrived at my parents' home at 9 Sunday night. Although she was not conscious, I ... Thu, 14 Feb 2013 06:35:05 EST Snowstorm Impending Here I am in cold (2 degrees right now), but sunny, Maine.....and hearing that we have a veritable blizzard coming our way. I am NOT pleased!!! I have been planning to go back to the Y on Saturday, now that my stomach bug has disappeared and my sciatica has been relieved as a result of getting steroid injections in my back on Monday. I guess I am going to have to make an alternate plan for exercising - maybe an old video or the ancient treadmill we have here at home (that always makes my kne... Thu, 7 Feb 2013 09:24:40 EST Cold, but Clear So it was 4 degrees this morning when I got up - it's warming up; the temperatures are no longer below zero! <BR> <BR> My stomach bug has finally abated, but now I am sidelined by having had two steroid shots in my back yesterday to treat the severe sciatica pain I have been experiencing. I am stiff and sore today - guess it will be another lazy day. <BR> <BR> I really am missing my morning exercise and cannot wait 'til I feel good enough to go back to the Y and get my body going again -an... Tue, 5 Feb 2013 10:51:19 EST Groundhog's Day I cannot believe it is February already! I hope that little critter predicts an early spring for us, though here in Maine, that could mean in July! LOL <BR> <BR> I have begun to feel somewhat better - though my digestive system still isn't working right and I am really tired. I guess this will be another lazy day <em>24</em> Sat, 2 Feb 2013 12:22:41 EST A New Month - A New Me???? Here it is the start of a new month, and for me that means an upcoming birthday, too, so I figure it can really be the start of a new me. Actually, I think the new me started on January 1st, when I got serious here on Sparkpeople, but now I am recommitting to making THIS month a good one as well. Right now I can barely eat because of this nasty "bug," but I know that once this has passed I will be back at the Y exercising - because I actually miss it right now!!! I realized that I have eaten ... Fri, 1 Feb 2013 09:37:39 EST Last Day of January Today marks 4 weeks since I got serious about tracking, exercising, and visiting this site. I managed to kose another half pound this week. It may be slow, but the numbers on the scale are going in the right direction, so I am satisfied. <BR> <BR> Unfortunately, I seem to have picked up some sort of stomach bug and am feeling really yucky. On the positive side, I can't seem to eat much of anything, so maybe that will help with weight loss - though i sure don't want to do it this way! Besides... Thu, 31 Jan 2013 11:41:16 EST HOME AGAIN Well, i got home at about 3 p.m. after pending several days in NY helping my parents get settled after my Mom came home from a rehab facility (at her insistence, not at doctor's recommendation) and getting an aide in place to help them at home. Left NY yesterday afternoon, got home today, andby 5:30 p.m. got a call from the aide that an ambulance had been called because my mother was having trouble breathing. I (and my sister) feel like we are living a nightmare. My Mom really should be in a ... Tue, 29 Jan 2013 18:40:00 EST Day Twenty-Five This is getting silly - maybe I need to change my heading to Week Whatever...... <BR> <BR> The car is packed, I am wearing layers, and we are ready to head off to Queens, NY, though tonight we will stay in Newton, MA. Not sure if I will be able to post any blogs while away. We packed lunch for today, but will have to play dinner by ear, since my sister-in-law will be cooking- and she is a really good cook! Moderation will have to be the operational word! Fri, 25 Jan 2013 10:03:04 EST Day Twenty-Four This morning I felt frustrated when I weighed myself - it is my weigh-in day and I weigh the same as last week. Now, though, I have recognized that although there was no loss, there also was no gain - and that is a good thing! We are leaving tomorrow to travel to NY to help get some things in place to support my elderly parents. I know it will be difficult for me to plan my meals, but I will try my darnedest to keep things in control and maybe next week I will see a downward dip on the scal... Thu, 24 Jan 2013 15:52:14 EST The Eating is Over for Today Well, I improved the day and stayed within my calorie limits today. I spent the entire day inside because of the below zero temperatures - baked two loaves of bread using a new recipe and accomplished some other indoor tasks. Tomorrow I will have to go out to do a bunch of errands that MUST be done, whether the temperatures are frigid or not. But now, I can think about being warm under the covers overnight - I am really very tired! Good night all! <em>102</em> Wed, 23 Jan 2013 20:44:57 EST Day Twenty-Three Today is another day of pain. I am feeling discouraged because it prevents me from exercising. Yesterday I did manage to stay on track with my eating, though, which contrasted with the day before, so that is one positive thing. I have today's meals planned out in an effort to prevent mishaps. <BR> <BR> I hope everyone in the Northeast is staying warm - it sure is frigid here in Maine!!! Wed, 23 Jan 2013 09:43:28 EST Day Twenty-Two Yesterday was a very stressful day from an emotional perspective. I am trying to deal with myvery elderly parents' needs, and demands, from far away and it is difficult. We will be traveling to NY this weekend, but have to put some things in place before we get there. Anyway, I ended up eating my frustration; this is not an excuse, just a statement of fact. I am determined to make today a better day....though I already want to just put cookies and M&Ms into my mouth! The pain I have down my a... Tue, 22 Jan 2013 11:50:06 EST Day Twenty Today is warmer and better in many ways. I went to the Y and managed 46 minutes on the treadmill. I know my eating will be in better control today, too. I have the menu for the day basically planned out, which always helps me to stay on track. <em>315</em> Sun, 20 Jan 2013 12:02:18 EST Day Nineteen This has not been a great Sparkpeople day - I did not go to the Y because it was closed for a staff in-service day and I did not exercise at home....went out for dinner and went over my daily calorie limit as a result. Tomorrow is a new day and I will make it a better one. We did have a fun meal, though, because we had our 10 year old grandson with us for dinner and had lots of interesting conversation with him; I'd say that was worth the extra calories. <em>4</em> Sat, 19 Jan 2013 18:37:24 EST Day Eighteen Well, the current temperature outside my door is -1 degree, but I am readying myself to go out and get to the Y for my daily exercise. Have I mentioned I hate winter??? This afternoon I am tending to our nearly 3 year old grandson, so that should count as exercise as well! He is an active and enjoyable little boy - we spend a lot of time crawling on the floor driving cars and trucks from one room to another. No other plans in the works for today, if you don't count figuring out how to include... Fri, 18 Jan 2013 09:03:05 EST Day Seventeen Today is a better day. I weighed in at 1.5 lbs. below last Thursday and am finally below 160 - I will work hard to keep it from going back up. <BR> <BR> It is one of our cats' birthday today - she is 12. I told DH I should put a candle in her canned food today (but we have one cat that is such a pig (if a cat can be a pig :>) that he would probably try to eat it. LOL <BR> <BR> I am dealing with a lot of stress related to my very elderly parents' well-being and stubborness and non-complian... Thu, 17 Jan 2013 08:01:46 EST Day Sixteen Today is not a great day for me. I woke up feeling tired and was only able to exercise for 20 minutes. Now I have a migraine headache for the third day in a row. Tomorrow is my weigh-in day and I am hoping something good will show on the scale to lift my spirits - or maybe I just will feel energetic and have no headache - and that willl be enough! <em>444</em> Oh, yes, it is snowing today!! Wed, 16 Jan 2013 15:19:33 EST Day Fifteen Today the scale looked like it is making a downward turn; I am holding my breath and staying on track in the hope that this will be true on Thursday, which is when I do my weekly weigh-in. Yesterday was like Spring in Maine, today it is much colder, and the prediciton for tomorrow is snow...... <em>39</em> <BR> <BR> I have passed the two week point on Sparkpeople and am enjoying the challenges involved. Yesterday I got myself a nice, new pedometer, which seems to be a good motivator for g... Tue, 15 Jan 2013 17:32:01 EST Day Fourteen Doing things with the one-day-at-a-time approach appears to be working for me. Today marks two weeks of logging on and working hard to meet my goals. I have made a couple of mistakes, but the majority of days have been right on target. My hardest challenge at the moment seems to be keeping the 8000 steps a day streak going - I haven't managed to do that every day, but I am moving more, so I am patting myself on the back anyway. <em>30</em> I am slowly learning how to use this site, but, w... Mon, 14 Jan 2013 11:30:12 EST Day Thirteen Thirteen may be an unlucky number for some folks, but today I am in less pain and was able to spend 55 minutes on the treadmill at the Y. Last night I did well at Olive Garden - read the nutrition info ahead of time and planned what I would eat before I got there. I did NOT allow myself to be swayed by what my husband and friends ordered - ate minestrone soup to begin and half of the serving of ravioli I was served. I did taste my hubby's dessert, but only a couple of bites. The scale is up h... Sun, 13 Jan 2013 11:18:04 EST Day Twelve I got back on track yesterday.....and even got nearly 11,000 steps on my pedometer. Today I have sciatica pain and will not be doing my treadmill walk, but we have a bunch of errands to do, so I guess I will still get some steps in, though not at as fast a pace. Tonight we are going to dinner at Olive Garden with some friends. As soon as I finish this blog entry I will be going to OG's website to get nutrition info so I can be ready to order wisely. Despite the pain in my leg, today I feel I ... Sat, 12 Jan 2013 10:30:33 EST Day Eleven Yesterday was an extremely stressful day and I fell apart during the evening, eating too much and eating things that trigger my appetite for junk food. I feel angry at myself for letting that occur, but have gotten back in the right frame of mind this morning. I am going to the Y and intend to burn off some of the extra calories I consumed yesterday as I walk on the treadmill. This is such a struggle day by day, but I know the only way I can make any progress is to do it just that way - day ... Fri, 11 Jan 2013 08:16:08 EST Day Nine I am still on track! I had a great afternoon taking care of and playing with our nearly three year old grandson and avoided snacking on cookies when I gave him. That is a feat, as I usually give myself one when I dole one out to a grandchild. I was very tired again today and did not exercise, which makes me feel guilty, but I know I would not have been up to the activity of a toddler if I had forced myself to get even more tired through exercise - not an excuse today, just a reality! Wed, 9 Jan 2013 17:49:52 EST Day Eight Today is going to be difficult - I did not sleep well and am sooooooo tired! These are the types of things that make me less mindful and out of control, but I am going to fight the urge to "cure" my exhaustion with sugar and intend to stay on course today! <em>102</em> Tue, 8 Jan 2013 08:44:24 EST Day Seven It is bitter cold this morning, but I will ignore that excuse - y'know the one about not wanting to go out in cold weather - and go to the Y for my daily exercise in a little bit. I got things back under control yesterday and know that today will be a good one, too. <em>68</em> Mon, 7 Jan 2013 08:31:36 EST Day Six Yesterday was not the best day of this adventure - I did not do a good job of meal planning and ended up over my calorie goal and consumed way too much sodium. The sodium made itself evident on the scale this morning <em>39</em> - but today is a new day and I have resolved to make this one a better planned day. I was tired this morning, so only spent 30 minutes on the treadmill - BUT, I did get on it despite thinking of many excuses as to why I couldn't! Sun, 6 Jan 2013 12:32:26 EST Day Five Woke up early today and feel good about managing the day's eating. Last night I made a little cake as a treat for my husband who had a painful medical procedure - and loves sweets (and has NO weight problem!). I ate a 1/16 of the 8"X8" cake which was only 142 calories and 22 grams of carbs - and I was still under my calorie goal! It was very satisfying - and the first sweet that I have eaten since January 1st. Getting ready to go to the Y to exercise now. <em>327</em> Sat, 5 Jan 2013 09:02:11 EST Day Four Okay, I am on a roll and am feeling positive about my ability to keep on track. (Noras_pat, I have been giving myself a nice red checkmark on the calendar at the end of each successful day, so I guess we think alike!) I just cam back from the Y where I walked on the treadmill for 50 minutes, increasing the incline with each quarter mile completed - I did that yesterday also and sure can feel the effects of that small incline today! (Queen Moxie, please add me as a friend. I wish you a wonder... Fri, 4 Jan 2013 11:13:51 EST Day Three Okay, I have managed two days without any mindless eating. Today I am going to add to that. I am living this weight loss journey one day at a time and I KNOW I can manage that! Thu, 3 Jan 2013 09:13:09 EST Day One Completed Well, I made it through the first day of the year more successfully than I anticipated - allowed myself one treat - a piece of banana bread - with my evening tea, but did not indulge in any other goodies. This was feat, since I spent the morning with my grandson making soft pretzels, which I LOVE. I did not eat any of them and put them all in a tin for him to take home to share with his family. I have committed to make changes one day at a time and feel good about day one! Wed, 2 Jan 2013 10:15:57 EST Time for Change! My SparkPage says I have been a member since 2011, but the truth is that I haven't acually visited this site for nearly two years - but I have returned with determination after a long period of struggle. I am hoping the tools - and potential friends - will be able to help me stay motivated and on track. Tue, 1 Jan 2013 16:16:22 EST