S3XY_DIVA_QUE3N's SparkPeople Blog

fall or fly

Tue, 4 Sep 2012 18:26:31 EST

I am in a seeeeerious rut. I just can't seem to get out of it. I have moments of motivation, determination, but they are fleeting. I feel like I have lost faith in myself, so I can't even convince myself that it is worth it to try. I know that sounds like a terrible attitude to have, but I just can't seem to kick it. When you keep screwing up, and you know that you have no one to blame but yourself, it is hard to believe that you are capable of doing anything else.

Friends?

Wed, 11 Jul 2012 18:37:17 EST

At what point is it okay to end a friendship?
I have been thinking about this question a lot lately. Friendship has always been deeply important to me. I am an only child, and my friends have often been like surrogate siblings. I believe being a loyal, reliable friend is an admirable quality in someone, and so it is something I strive for. Many of my friendships have lasted for most of my life; I have known my three best friends for 25, 13, and 11 years.
However, as I have gotten o...

zumbaaaaaa!!!!

Sun, 4 Mar 2012 14:33:31 EST

Zumba is awesome and I really wish I could do it every day. That is all.

216

Day 10

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 13:01:17 EST

Last night was hard. Actually, the past two nights have been hard. I haven't yet had the time to do any legitimate grocery shopping. Monday night I didn't get home until 11:30 and my parents were both sleeping so I didn't want to take a long time cooking anything. So I just didn't eat anything after I got home, which left my total calorie intake for the day under 1000. :( Yesterday, I did well during the day, and after work I was in the long range of my calorie intake goal. But after work I w...

6 days

Sun, 22 Jan 2012 14:25:01 EST

So far I have gone 6 days without fast food. It has been easier than I anticipated. It helps that I am both broke and really busy. Of course, being really busy has also been a challenge a couple of times. We don't have a lot of convenience food at my house, things that I can just whip up really quickly in a pinch. And so, with that in mind, my goals for this week are:
1. Groceries: buy several things that are simple to make and appealing.
2. Bulk cook: make meals in advance and pre-...

what can 105 days do?

Sun, 15 Jan 2012 15:43:47 EST

I was just revising my reward list, and decided to add a reward for going 105 days without eating any fast food, with the exception of the occasional healthy sandwich from Subway. My birthday is 105 days away. I am curious to see how much difference that one change will make. In 2010, I went 88 days without fast food and I lost about 15 lbs in that time.
I am also making a goal to not drink soda for 105 days. The only time I have a hard time with drinking soda is when I am out with my f...

2011 RECAP

Mon, 2 Jan 2012 14:49:53 EST

Wow. What a crazy year for me, full of obstacles, unexpected turns, and changes. I started the year off with the biggest change/challenge by picking a fight with my roommate and best friend and moving out literally at 4 am New Year's Day. "Hi mom, guess what? I'm moving home!! see you in ten minutes!" Ha ha. I thought I had lost my two best friends. What I should have realized is that true friendships will overcome any fight or stupidity from all parties involved. By the end of the year, we w...

finding the balance

Mon, 24 Oct 2011 21:44:23 EST

There is so much that I want, and so much that I want to do, and I want it all RIGHT NOW!! Sometimes it just seems that there is not enough time for my life, and I get really overwhelmed by my own expectations of myself. I try to tell myself that I am the one imposing these goals, that I don't HAVE to do it all, at least not right now. But then my subconcious counters with "if I want to be the kind of person I can look up to, then I need to do it all."
I feel like I need to be successfu...

frustrated

Sun, 23 Oct 2011 14:25:39 EST

I don't know what more I can do. I worked out 6 days last week and burned over 5000 calories. And I was 90% or more on track with my calories. And I gained weight.

Reality Check

Sun, 9 Oct 2011 15:48:38 EST

The number one thing I have accomplished this week is keeping a positive attitude. The number two thing would be consistently working out. I managed to work out 5 days this past week. My third accomplishment was to track my eating more consistently (still not 100%, but much closer). And that's where the butt-kicking-reality check came. I thought I had been doing really well this week, especially since I burned over 4000 calories. However, even taking the extra calorie burn into consideration,...

10-10-10

Wed, 5 Oct 2011 18:09:17 EST

10 goals/10 months/for10 yr reunion
I promised to list my goals for the next 10 months till my 10 yr high school reunion, so here they are. I realize that they are quite lofty, but I plan to aim for the sun and be happy wherever I may land, as long as it is better than where I started. (Side note: I could have used the metaphor "shoot for the moon, even if you miss you will land in the stars" but I have always thought it was kind of stupid because realistically, the stars are much furthe...

10 yrs of lessons

Tue, 6 Sep 2011 21:15:08 EST

12 In June of 2012, I will have my 10 year high school reunion. In the past 10 years, I have learned some important life lessons:

150 I do not look good as a platinum blonde

150 "high school" is two words

150 always carry a spare

150 no one will notice if you wear the same pants two days in a row.

150 they will, however, notice that you are wearing two different shoes.

so far, so good

Sun, 4 Sep 2011 16:11:08 EST

Well, I survived last week. PHEW! My mom loaned me $15 for gas, so I was able to get to and from school. I got my homework done, although I did skip going to the gym :( But I adjusted my calorie intake accordingly.
This week I am looking forward to no class tomorrow, HOORAY! I will just have classes tuesday, wednesday, and thursday. And on Thursday I have a dentists appointment. I am crossing my fingers that I don't have any cavities. (I have been very good about flossing for the last 6 ...

stressed already

Tue, 30 Aug 2011 20:58:04 EST

So I may have spoke a little too soon...
I am feeling mucho stressed today. I have several assignments due tomorrow and Thursday. They were just assigned, so I would have had no way of doing them before. I am supposed to go to the gym tonight, and I usually get done around 10. Then I go home, make dinner, and get ready for the next day. Tomorrow is the same routine. I am wondering where I am going to find the extra time to do this homework. Ugh!
198
My only idea is ...

Tuviste hacer muchos tarea?

Mon, 29 Aug 2011 21:41:49 EST

Si! Este fin de semana pasado, tuve hacer muchos tarea por mi clase de espanol. Pero, pienso pude aprender muchos cosas.
Lol that was all probably not very accurate, but I am really excited that I was able to say it anyway! I love, love, LOVE my spanish class! (again, that has absolutely NOTHING to do with the fact that my professor is a hotty 211 ) It is just so much fun, just like last semester. When I first signed up for Spanish, it was due to the university requiring a l...

Background noise

Sun, 28 Aug 2011 21:17:36 EST

Have you ever noticed just how much noise there is around you?
I am taking a "sound for film" class. In our first meeting, we did our own re-enactment of John Cage's famous piece 4:33. (For those of you unfamiliar with John Cage, he is a modern composer famous for doing avant garde compositions. 4:33 is essentially 4 minutes and 33 seconds of silence). Part of the exercise was to write down all the sounds we heard during that time while our instructor recorded with a professional mic. We...

A letter of promise

Wed, 24 Aug 2011 21:25:09 EST

Dear ugly voice inside,
Every time you frown, I will smile
when you put me down, I will stand tall
when you give up, I will keep going
Each day that you stay in bed, I will get up early
This I promise to you.

And when you want to cry, I will laugh
When you say I can't, I can
When you are too tired, I will have energy
Your doubt is my faith
This I promise to you

-Sincerely, me

204

what I'm looking forward to

Tue, 23 Aug 2011 19:02:46 EST

I feel so positive about the next few months. There is so much that I'm excited about, I just have to share it. First of all, I think that my classes are going to be great. I'm taking second semester spanish, with the same professor as my first semester. By the way, he looks just like Jake Gyllenhall, which has absolutely NOTHING to do with me taking the class from him again. ;) I'm also taking to intro to documentary studies. We are going to produce two documentaries of our own during the s...

10 reasons why the gym is AWESOME

Wed, 17 Aug 2011 15:39:12 EST

10. They have all the equipment you need.
9. good music (sometimes)
8. men with muscles
7. sense of accomplishment
6. adrenaline= natural high
5. the awesome things other people wear to the gym (purple pants with one leg rolled up and matching shoes)
4. hot trainers
3. hot trainers who show you the right way to do things
2. increasing endurance
1. getting buff!!! boo ya!

320 344 84 85 216

cheap & classy?

Sun, 14 Aug 2011 14:29:39 EST
Is it possible to be classy if you are really cheap?
I think so.
I felt especially classy last night as I finished off a bottle of $6 cooks spumante champagne (my favorite) in the champagne flutes that I bought at a thrift store.
What are some other ways to be cheap/classy?
408 408 408

hello blog, how I have missed you

Tue, 9 Aug 2011 16:42:47 EST
Soooooo I clearly haven't blogged in awhile. And since I am trying to be more dedicated to sparkpeople, I am going to every aspect, including blogging. So here I am. Blogging. Lol.
What an interesting year this has been so far. After a situation that I won't get into specifically I had to move back in with my parents. I also went back to school in January. School has been going really well, probably due, at least in part, to living at home where I can be more focused. I have brought my g...

off the wagon (so to speak)

Sat, 11 Dec 2010 16:47:02 EST
The last week or two I have not been following my goal of avoiding fast food. In fact, I have been nearly back to my old ways of eating it every day. Of course, I feel guilty about it and have been beating myself up about it. I also have avoided tracking it or mentioning it in a blog because I'm embarrassed.
However, another of my goals is to start turning negative thoughts into positive actions. Instead of mentally flogging myself over my mistakes, I'm going to reassess my original p...

snow days

Mon, 29 Nov 2010 18:07:29 EST
Does anyone remember being a kid and getting to stay home from school due to heavy snow? It doesn't happen too often when you are a kid growing up in Utah, where there is always lots of snow but the powers that be generally assume you can deal with it. We cherished those few special days when it would snow a couple inches more than normal and we would get the call that there would be no school.
Here in Utah last week, we survived the Blizzard of 2010. It was hyped as the biggest blizzar...

a new goal

Tue, 23 Nov 2010 17:16:51 EST
My big goal recently had been to avoid fast food until my friend's wedding on Nov. 20. I didn't quite make it, unfortunately. However, I'm not going to beat myself up about it because I did make it for 80 days without fast food! I am fairly certain that is the longest I have gone in my adult life without fast food, maybe even in my entire life. So I feel pretty dang good about it. I made it till last Thursday, when I didn't have a very good options. I won't say that I had no choice, because v...

so much to do...

Wed, 10 Nov 2010 17:03:38 EST
I am really looking forward to the next few weeks, but at the same time, I am soooooo stressed out!! I've already noticed the change in my attitude toward working out and my discipline to eat well. I know, I know. EVERYONE is stressed out for the holidays. Except I have two birthdays, a wedding and a going away party on top of all the regular holiday stress.
This weekend, I have two birthdays of two of my closest friends, on the same day no less! Luckily, they have (somewhat) combined t...

gym jams and tough trainers

Wed, 27 Oct 2010 16:52:11 EST
58 days without fast food!!! woo hoo!!
My work out buddy and I joined Gold's Gym and met with a trainer on Friday to work out a plan and do a hard core work out as well.
Why is it that when trainers/doctors/thin people tell overweight people they need to lose weight, they say it as though they are imparting some newly discovered piece of knowledge? And they say it so intensely, like "you really need to lose weight! like right now!" Obviously, I know I need to lose weight and get in...

41 days without fast food!!!!

Sat, 9 Oct 2010 16:52:45 EST
I have not had fast food in 41 days!
WOW!
I look at that number and I can hardly believe it. As I've mentioned, I am a fast food junkie, a fast-food-aholic, if you will. I cannot believe that I haven't had McDonald's, Wendy's, Betos, etc in 41 days! And, over all, I can't believe how easy it has been! Not always, of course, but for the most part.
I have been more consistent the last month in regards to diet and exercise than ever before. Unfortunately, I haven't seen the resul...

Day 28 w/o fast food

Sun, 26 Sep 2010 16:16:22 EST
As I mentioned in a past blog, I have, at least temporarily, given up fast food. My stipulation with that is that I will not get food from any place with a drive through window with pre-made food sitting under a lamp. In other words, I am allowing myself to have Subway and Gandolfo's within reason (no more than once per week). I am also allowing myself to go to restaurants with friends on occasion. My goal is to not eat-out until after Nov 20th. (The date is my friend's wedding that I'm in) <...

shopping list

Thu, 16 Sep 2010 11:11:09 EST
Today is my weigh in day, and lo and behold I gained weight. Of course, because it seems it is always when you're sure you've lost... Anyway, I'm disappointed, but I'm not going to dwell on it. Maybe next week I'll lose twice as much. And, as I read in a fabulous motivational sparkpeople article, I need to take responsibility for my own short comings. I definitely could have worked out more last week, and while I gave up fast food, I did not give up junk food.
In an effort to do better t...

and so it goes

Tue, 14 Sep 2010 17:33:42 EST
After I lost some weight, I gained some back. But now I have lost again, for an overall loss of just over one pound. Not very impressive, but it is something. I'm hoping to show another loss this week. I've been drinking water like crazy and will be working out tonight, tomorrow, and thursday, so that should help.
I have also temporarily given up fast food, with the exception of subway. I will allow myself to got to dine-in restaurants with friends assuming we have to actually go inside...

WOO HOOOOO!!!

Thu, 12 Aug 2010 13:24:47 EST
Well it is about freaking time! I weighed in this morning and I lost over 3 lbs! Now, I know that some of that is due to this and that and water weight and girly time and blah blah blah I don't care I'm excited!! I legitimately worked out and ate pretty well this last week and now I've seen results. (amazing how that works...)
I have to say, I feel MUCH more motivated now to keep doing what I'm doing. I am still above what I weighed when I started this but oh well. I'll get there. The di...

also...

Wed, 11 Aug 2010 13:47:40 EST
I just got my daily feedback for yesterday, and I stayed in my numbers on calories, fat, protein, and carbs and I had enough B-12, and Fiber!!!! Nutritionally speaking, I think it was my best day yet!!!

OT day.... oh who cares

Wed, 11 Aug 2010 13:42:03 EST
2 1/2 days left!
I am SOOOO over overtime!!! While I think I should work a couple more weeks of it, I am absolutely not going to! I am slowly slowly going crazy. If I have to hear how one more person doesn't understand what "advance purchase non-refundable" means.....grrr!
Anyway, I weighed in last week and I have officially GAINED 4 lbs since I started Spark! Yes, that's right friends, GAINED. I only have myself to blame. I have hardly been consistent. So I'm trying not to be super...

OT day.... oh who cares

Wed, 11 Aug 2010 13:42:03 EST
2 1/2 days left!
I am SOOOO over overtime!!! While I think I should work a couple more weeks of it, I am absolutely not going to! I am slowly slowly going crazy. If I have to hear how one more person doesn't understand what "advance purchase non-refundable" means.....grrr!
Anyway, I weighed in last week and I have officially GAINED 4 lbs since I started Spark! Yes, that's right friends, GAINED. I only have myself to blame. I have hardly been consistent. So I'm trying not to be super...

A to Z about me!

Tue, 10 Aug 2010 16:47:50 EST
If you read it ... you have to do it :) ... have a little fun

A - Age: 26

B - Bed size: Twin (my tiny room couldn't hold anything more!)

C - Chore you hate: all of them? lol mostly putting my laundry away

D - Dog's name: well, my cat is as big as a dog, does that count? her name is ms diva

E - Essential start your day item: makeup!

F - Favorite color(s): Red, turquoise, yellow, pink (in that order lol)

G - Gold or ...

OT: day 22

Wed, 4 Aug 2010 16:07:45 EST
Actually only 7 days left!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 334
I realized that I never actually signed up for the last week of overtime, so unless I decide to, I only have 7 days left!!!! At this point, I honestly have NO desire to do any more so I doubt I will. I know that I should, especially given some recent developments, but I'm getting a bit burned out.
As I've mentioned in past blogs, I have two close friends getting married in the next few months. I love them both dearly and...

ot: day 20: things I've done so far

Mon, 2 Aug 2010 15:29:53 EST
15 days left!!!!!!
-----------------------------

Sometimes I think I am my own critic. Other times I know it. I am always telling myself that I am not trying hard enough, working hard enough, accomplishing enough. I compare myself to other people my age and think, wow, they've done so much more. They've: married, graduated, had kids, started a career, lived abroad, so on and so forth.

Reflecting on my life objectively though, I think I have done some pretty ...

overtime: day 13

Mon, 26 Jul 2010 13:50:15 EST
22 days left.
Well, I didn't manage as much overtime as I was hoping to. I ended up calling in for some of it. Luckily, it was slow enough here that they let me stay home. I was just so tired and frustrated.
I feel much better today though. After looking at my finances, I don't need as much money as I thought so I will be alright if I don't work quite as much overtime.
I just took a walk for 15 minutes. It felt pretty good, even though it is really hot. Maybe tomorrow I'll try...

overtime: day 8

Wed, 21 Jul 2010 21:01:33 EST
27 days left
well I am really angry. Do you burn more calories when you're angry? I hope so because if you do than I should be burning them like crazy. I may be more irritated than usual because I'm tired and the overtime is starting to get to me, but either way this is a monumentally screwed up situation.
So a little bit of background information: at my job, we bid on our schedules every quarter (every three months). Your bid placement is based on a combination of your seniority ...

overtime: day 7

Tue, 20 Jul 2010 14:35:56 EST
28 days left! so far so good!
Well I almost made it in my numbers yesterday. I was 100 calories over, and 1 gram of fat over. If I had just said no to the mini-quesadilla, but it looked so good... However, I did FINALLY drink enough water. YAY! I didn't walk on a break :( I have a break in about 2 hours and I am GOING to walk then! I will not allow Facebook to distract me!!! lol.
I have not put on my pedometer. To be honest, I'm not sure where it is... (sorry mom) I will find it th...

overtime: day 6

Mon, 19 Jul 2010 13:28:26 EST
Only 29 days left of overtime! woo hoo!
I was thinking the other day about the tortoise and the hare. From what I remember about the story, I can see that I'm more the hare than the tortoise. Now, on the one hand, I'd rather be a thin, fluffy, fast animal than a green, hard, slow animal. But I think as sparkers we know the value of the tortoise. After all, he did when the race.
I tend to go really fast, really energetic when I start something, only to burn out quickly after a short...

overtime: day 5

Sun, 18 Jul 2010 10:00:48 EST
After all my big talk on sleep, I stayed up way too late last night and I'm paying the price this morning. But I made it to work on time, so that's something. I was working on a project last night that I just didn't want to stop. I didn't even stop to eat, which is REALLY unusual. I almost never forget that! lol
On the other hand, I did get a lot done on my project which has to be done some time so it is one less thing I'll have to do later.
I have about 30 days left of overtime. p...

overtime: small break

Sat, 17 Jul 2010 17:25:24 EST
Today I am only working my regular schedule of 11:30 to 8:00 pm. It is amazing how after just a few days of getting up at 6, that sleeping till 8:30 feels like such a luxury. I actually slept for at least 8 hours last night and I feel incredible today. I guess that is all it took to recharge my system. I still feel very optimistic about my overtime schedule. It will be hard, but not impossible.
Yesterday I spent a lovely day with my parents and had greek for dinner, which was awesome. Th...

overtime: day 3

Thu, 15 Jul 2010 12:24:40 EST
Today has been much harder so far, which probably has something to do with my roommate waking me up (unintentionally, but still) at 3 am this morning. I have been having trouble sleeping anyway. I made sure to wait an hour after I ate and to not drink anything caffeinated. I don't know if it is just that I'm going to bed so much earlier than usual or if it is just too hot. My roommate, bless him, put the fan so it was blowing only in my room, which helped I think. Of course, that was when he ...

overtime: day 2

Wed, 14 Jul 2010 20:57:24 EST
Day 2 of the 5 week stretch.... I have almost made my goal to drink 8 glasses of water as I'm sitting here at my desk. I have tracked my food today and I even got up in time to make breakfast AND lunch! My next goal is to actually finish the day well and not let it all go to hell by eating fast food or the normal junk I eat when I get off work.
I'm not sure if it is because I have been eating less overall, or just from being tired, but I have been hungry all day today. I brought a prote...

another day another dollar

Tue, 13 Jul 2010 15:23:28 EST
I wasn't going to blog today because sometimes I think I blog too much lol. But i was sitting here bored at work and it seemed like a fun thing to pass the time.
I am working 16 hours of over-time this week, coming in 4 hours before my normal shift each morning and working 4 hours on each of my days off. I thought it was going to be miserable, but so far today hasn't been bad. Of course, I'm only an hour and a half into my regular shift at this point so I may feel differently later on! ...

step back to step forward

Mon, 12 Jul 2010 14:43:27 EST
As much as I've tried, I can't seem to pick up where I've left off in spark people. So I have decided to go back to Step One in the program to re-build (or maybe for the first time) habits and routines that will help me do what I need to do. It is a little disappointing, but I think it is for the best. Once I've gotten back in the habit of cooking and tracking and drinking water consistently I will get back into step 2.

party like you're 21

Sun, 11 Jul 2010 21:59:53 EST
My good friend and co-worker turned 21 yesterday so my roommate and I threw her a party. I have to say it went very well, but at times during the preparation, it seemed like it would all fall apart. However, I have learned some valuable lessons from it.
We had planned to do a "club 21" theme, decorating in her favorite color: pink. We visited our local party store (which we should probably own stock in given how much we shop there) and looked for the "21" aisle. No luck. They had 1,2,3,1...

monday, monday

Mon, 5 Jul 2010 15:40:24 EST
Really, monday is my friday for the time being. I am off for the next two days. Yet it still FEELS like a monday. Don't ask me why.
After another weekend where I didn't do very well with my goals I'm feeling more discouraged than before. It seems that there aren't enough hours in the day to work, sleep 8 hours, exercise, cook and be social. Something always has to be sacrificed and it ends up being either sleep or my social life, which makes me feel like all I'm doing is work.

Beautiful Saturday

Sat, 3 Jul 2010 16:29:37 EST
Good morning (afternoon) spark friends!
I am currently sitting at my desk at work looking out the window and enjoying what a beautiful day it is. No, I'm not being sarcastic. If I'm going to be stuck at work on the weekend (every weekend) at least I can sit by the window and feel the sun. Another plus is that I work on the ground floor and there is a field nearby so we get all sorts of wildlife running by the window. I've seen kitties, quail, magpies, squirrels, even a skunk! Right now,...