RUBYREDIVY1's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=RUBYREDIVY1 RUBYREDIVY1's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ 4 day streak and them all is forgotten http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5990469 I have a few things going on...which can be behind my not losing weight. 1. holidays are gaining time. Example. Before my last holidays I was 67kg. After 69kg. 2 weeks of no idea what I was eating. 2. Not being consistent. Just not consistent. Some days I don't even remember that I'm trying to lose weight. Just not on my mind. 3. Expecting results too fast on too little effort and time. My longest streak this month was 4 days. After that it went downhill and I told myself I'll ... Thu, 3 Sep 2015 19:22:26 EST weekends can break even http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5983323 I was thinking that weekends Tend to sabotage the whole week. ...so I will make sure I eat just so much to break even for Saturday and Sunday. On normal days I'll motivate myself to stick to the straight and narrow with end of day reward as usual. Weekends I can truly look forward to as I can eat a lot more but not gain. Sun, 23 Aug 2015 18:07:50 EST De ja vu http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5975980 Going round in circles. I've lost all integrity.... I make a promise and I don't trust my own self to keep it. Main hindrance is definitely ethnic foods. I just lose control around them. So funny though cos I don't really need them. Nor crave them. But when i cook for my family it does tempt me to eat a bit....but it highly calorific. ..and it's never filling. So I do eat more than my calorie bank allows. I've scolded husband today as I tried not to ear what I made today but he says ... Tue, 11 Aug 2015 12:42:10 EST stalled http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5973468 Why does weight loss feel like a switch? If it's on its great and if not then God help you. It begs the question though...Wether I have deluded myself again into thinking I've been very good when I haven't. I think it might be the case now these past few weeks... I've lost my mojo and no idea how to get it back. I'm not eating right.... And not moving enough. Not exercising enough. I have to change with little steps and see how to fix this.... Fri, 7 Aug 2015 01:37:23 EST breaking even http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5971574 Breaking even means staying the same. ..so some days when things go wrong don't turn break even into a disaster. Turn it into a victory because you refuse to take a step back no matter how tiny. Only moving forward or breaking even. Today I didn't manage to eat below my range. I ate enough to maintain status quo. So no sweat. Tomorrow is a new day! Mon, 3 Aug 2015 18:29:04 EST 10 minutes worth every second http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5970989 Very tight on time today...genuinely. But even as the clock struck 11.45 I didn't call it a day. I clocked in at 10 minutes on the bike today. On high and medium intensity on highest resistance. Felt pretty huffed and puffed with heart racing due to it but it was worth every second. Now the message has hit home that I am committed even if it's 10 minutes. Sun, 2 Aug 2015 19:44:28 EST Burning up! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5970360 Yesterday's realization and plan to change has worked like a charm. I kick started my promise to myself with 60 minutes on my stationary bike which is a huge deal as I have not done so for a long time. I'm feeling a lot more free than before. I had a very light breakfast, a nice main meal at lunch and dinner and a fantastic dessert. And u went window shopping today just for the sake of exercise and clocked 2 hours nonstop at moderate speed as we were also hunting for a certain item for my... Sat, 1 Aug 2015 16:14:58 EST Losing perspective http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5969826 I knew I shouldn't do it. I already had a premonition but I ignored it. I'm trying to lose weight quickly for an upcoming event. I knew I shouldn't restrict myself in order to lose it faster. But It was going so well. It's been a week and I was fine. But today I've had such horrible cravings for chocolate. And I didn't go overboard. But I've had a terrible resentment all day like I feel deprived. I'm going back to basics. Making time for exercise and enjoying a desert every evening... Fri, 31 Jul 2015 15:22:02 EST "I love hiking in Normandy!" CLAIREINPARIS's Photo as Reference for Sketch http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5968583 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/09ec0963-5b41-48f7-97cc-8afc4fd34105.jpg"> <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/9f3b0512-ad7b-4873-b20e-05997040faa7.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Just some sketchwork with a calligraphy pen. Thanks for letting me use the photos Claire! <BR> <BR> Love <BR> <BR> Ruby <BR> Wed, 29 Jul 2015 11:14:12 EST We forget http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5968133 Sometimes in search for perfection we forget that little and often goes a long way. I really need to get back on my stationary bike. Even if I'm reading or watching a movie whilst doing it. Better than nothing. Tue, 28 Jul 2015 16:57:07 EST Best Experience Ever http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5967543 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/b078848d-6aad-4431-b284-ee77609082cd.jpg"> What happens when two things you adore come together? I've gone out with friends, restaurants, shops, movies, short breaks etc bit never done anything like this before. I painted with a friend! And no I'm not in high school. It was magical. 5 hours together. Endless discussion, laughter, concentration and 2 pieces of distinct artwork reflecting our unique art styles. Very happy experience. Mon, 27 Jul 2015 17:42:43 EST slip up. ..learn your lessons when they're fresh http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5965779 I've really not been myself these past few days... Turbulence in every aspect of life has a way of getting you down... I have lost track...yes and became mindless about eating. But that's normal I guess when you're hurting inside. Going for stretches without eating and then...soothing myself with all the wrong things.... Emotions can wreck havoc on anyone...how can you be accountable to yourself when you just don't care at that precise moment? I am out of my rut now. ..took me a week. ... Fri, 24 Jul 2015 03:53:44 EST Battling Depression http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5965001 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/b8aafbee-383b-4cef-abba-1e52609bc231.jpg"> I get down sometimes.... One thing goes horribly wrong and my outlook changes to pessimism and despair. I start thinking negative and start becoming really moody, sulky and emotional. Today was wasted on such things... I tried to cheer myself up by doing some painting and it really lifted my spirit. I need to remind myself to paint regularly do I can let off the daily stress and tensions of life. Wed, 22 Jul 2015 15:56:33 EST Sugar cravings finally KICKED http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5963775 It happened naturally - the more I focused on intuitively eating when hungry, the less I thought about how my calories were going to buy me my next sweet "fix". <BR> <BR> Now I am feeling like my usual cup of tea is the highlight, not the mini packet of cake or biscuits! <BR> <BR> I feel better in myself for sticking to regular square meals and cutting out unnecessary sweet stuff. <BR> <BR> And now, a little bit, goes a long way. <BR> <BR> I hope I can continue this habit for life. <BR> ... Mon, 20 Jul 2015 13:26:46 EST Ever the Strategist http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5961854 It's easy becoming complacent when things start moving so I've started being more strategic about everything. I'm being quite cheeky and sly with certain stuff. Trying to find a way to minimise intake/ calories while upping expenditure. Easier said than done, right. Not so with the correct mindset. Could you go to 2 buffets in 2 consequtive days and not break the calorie bank? With Italian, Indian, Chinese and fast food choices? And a plethora of desserts? Sometimes. ..We are in love... Thu, 16 Jul 2015 17:49:23 EST ELATED! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5961341 In one word: Elated! <BR> <BR> Finally I have broken the plateau of SIX MONTHS! <BR> <BR> It was a cruel plateau! CRUEL! <BR> <BR> I am so happy that things are moving in the right direction now. Just need to make sure nothing slips. <BR> <BR> Although my shrunk tummy is enabling me to eat smaller portions and I can easily say no to any temptations as I just realized they are so not worth it. <BR> <BR> Someone on Sparkpeople wrote: "A moment of pleasure and weeks of making up for it."... Wed, 15 Jul 2015 18:36:19 EST shrinking http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5960121 It's so wonderful to feel yourself shrinking... I can feel inches falling off everywhere. I had a to wear a belt with jeans for the first time in months. I don't want this to stop. It feels awesome. Mon, 13 Jul 2015 12:33:53 EST 1/3 of previous portions http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5959400 It has finally started happening. I've managed to shrink my stomach and therefore appetite down to 1/3 of my previous size. It took a long time to get this far as I've mentioned I've tried since January. It's one thing knowing the correct portion size... and another entirely feeling full at given portion. Coming away with a feeling of satiety and fullness or satisfaction is much better than knowing the facts and figures and wishing for more food. Before joining sparkpeople my number one ... Sun, 12 Jul 2015 05:18:22 EST Be honest with yourself http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5958556 I'm being totally honest with myself. .. I have slipped up quite badly throughout this year. In earnest I haven't really started eating and exercising properly until June though I am trying since January. I know I will see results very soon. Fri, 10 Jul 2015 10:55:00 EST Don't look now... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5958166 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/1559ae2b-0a91-468e-a705-3b93970d8ec3.jpg"> <BR> <BR> 3 days, perfect everything, exercise and all... <BR> <BR> Today I had the worst craving for chocolate in probably what I'd call a century. <BR> <BR> I'm not happy with how I handled it...but I'm not entirely upset either. <BR> <BR> I hit the dot today for maintenance - exactly 1700kcals - which means I'm neither going to lose nor gain from today's mishap. The rest of the week is going to... Thu, 9 Jul 2015 15:26:33 EST Husband woes.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5957295 We've always had a rocky relationship since day one. It hasn't been easy for either of us... After years of being insulting or mildly mocking towards me he has finally stopped. But when angry...those judgmental mocking come back. Almost feels like he's still thinking it but just not saying it as frequently as before.... kind of makes the silent truce between us useless and counterproductive. I'm tired of wondering what he's thinking about me. I've had a tough time with him...but some... Wed, 8 Jul 2015 03:14:48 EST It takes 3500 calories above BMR to gain 1 pound! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5957081 When Does Food Become Fat? Answer: Correct! No It takes an extra 3,500 calories above the normal 2,000 or so calories your body needs daily to gain just 1 pound! So if your body needs (and therefore uses) 2,000 calories a day, you'd need to eat 5,500 calories to gain one pound. 5500....is a lot! What a motivator! Tue, 7 Jul 2015 18:35:25 EST Painting http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5955532 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/00ff6a8f-bae0-459f-abe1-6d407184a999.jpg"> I left the artist inside me rot for years. .....o could have done so much more. ... Anyway... I am back in the groove and it's proving to be very therapeutic. I even forgot to have my snacks and didn't miss them at all. Sat, 4 Jul 2015 19:48:34 EST Fibre http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5955215 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/13461b8d-2091-4600-b830-869fb0e4e827.jpg"> ...After meeting calorie ranges with curries I gave noticed my fibre has definitely gone down...its interesting how eating how I previously ate kept fibre so high... its important to keep fibre high so I will now ease back from curry but the learning I've taken away from it us that I can have it when I want without breaking the calorie bank. Just need to balance my fibre now. Another good thing is... Sat, 4 Jul 2015 03:21:18 EST Thanks CTMOM2KIDS http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5952988 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/7552a64d-2201-4bfd-a7a7-adf0bb592dc2.jpg"> Hi CTMOM2KIDS Your replies to both my last 2 entries about complacency and 2000 pilot air miles really hit home. Funny thing is that I pretty much eat the same stuff when I'm "on" as off the wagon... It took me quite a long time to even get habits that involve eating healthily. The only difference now when I'm "off" is not tracking. I think you may be onto something... I have just realised that... Mon, 29 Jun 2015 20:29:24 EST Really down... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5951845 It seems everything is spiralling out of control...things that used to motivate me don't anymore... food wise nor exercise wise. I'm just really tired of having to always think about what I eat....my weight has stalled anyway...my clothes from last year don't fit...It is now feeling like a real chore to think about exercise. ...who am I becoming? Where is my motivation gone? I'm really tired. Maybe I will give the tracking a rest....and eat intuitively....maybe I'll just use common sens... Sat, 27 Jun 2015 14:58:55 EST Stuck at 69kgs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5950108 It feels like I'm stuck at 69.kgs for a good while. I'm just glad the scale isn't moving up as I have fallen off a few days... I need to find new motivation. It's a long journey and I'm determined to stick it out. I'm moving towards intuitive eating... not tracking much but I know most calorie counts off by heart now... just a matter of tuning in... I think maybe that's a reason I'm maintaining and not losing... so maybe go back to basics and track every bite again. Seeing as I'm a lot... Wed, 24 Jun 2015 06:40:36 EST Sparkpeople Article that struck a chord! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5938019 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/46036fc5-18ea-44c3-8e15-4730d795fbf6.jpg"> Today as any day, I had a bit of spare time in qgich I decided to sip my tea and read a couple of sparkpeople articles. I have a lot of issues with emotional eating and especially COMFORT eating as anybody following my blog could probably tell you... So I clicked on the article called ...wait I dunno what it was actually called but something to do with how to stop emotional eating or comfort eating... Mon, 1 Jun 2015 17:39:57 EST Against the odds http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5937347 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/b2502c41-de43-4071-aff7-7ec16931aa96.jpg"> Last weekend? Total blowout. Birthday cake...overeating and mindless munching leading into Monday. This week? Thursday: disaster I had 3 brownies worth 300kcals each. Friday? Even worse...700kcal indulgence in milk and white chocolate. Despite that...Monday fully active... exercising to the max. Rest of the week as well. Extra on Thursday and Friday. Eaten better, much better this weekend. Hit... Sun, 31 May 2015 15:20:52 EST Will to find a way http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5935237 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/d8012850-2122-4374-920e-4e513929c2e8.jpg"> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/f34314b4-7558-4673-a552-c558ac890743.jpg"> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/770153af-10c0-4981-b5bd-25929a51b5e1.jpg"> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/b1c32b8d-86ff-4012-83d6-d43084a775a6.jpg"> What is motivation? It's an urge to do something. Usually when we really want to do something we find a way. We look at a... Wed, 27 May 2015 15:07:02 EST It's all technical http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5934689 500 kcal loss ×7 =0.5kg loss 1000kcal loss x 7 = 1kg loss 26.05.2015 = 72.5kg 26.05.15- 02.06.15 = 0.5kg to 1kg loss ( 72.0/71.5) 03.06.15 - 09.06.15 = 0.5 to 1kg loss (71.5/70.5) 10.06.15 - 16.06.15 = 0.5 to 1kg loss (71.0/69.5) 17.06.15 - 23.06.15 = " " (70.5/68.5) 24.06.15 - 30.06.15 = " " (70.0/67.5) 01.07.15 - 07.07.15 = " " (69.5/66.5) 08.07.15 - 14.07.15 = " " (69.0/65.5) 15.07.15 - 21.07.15 = " " (68.5/64.5) 22.07.15 - 28.07.15 = " " (68.5/63.5) 29.07.15 - 05.08.15 = " " (68.0/... Tue, 26 May 2015 18:02:42 EST Fighting Spirit http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5929302 Metaphor: pushing hard against a snowstorm, uphill through thick snow on an incline to the summit of a mountain! Reality: Working out when you really want to laze in front of the TV, going on even though mishaps and mistakes make you want to throw in the towel, working out, being (hyper) active throughout the day even though you just over ate and sabotaged the whole calorie range for the day, falling and picking yourself up 100 times throughout the month even though some of the mess you ma... Sat, 16 May 2015 21:18:31 EST Doing well.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5923613 I finally feel mentally ready for this now....I've been bingeing a lot recently and just breaking that cycle was tough. I was anxious about the weight loss and comfort eating.... So while starting at 69....I've actually gone up 2kg. It's kinda heartbreaking....but the results aren't important. ..its this mindset I have now which will see me through. I'm at ease now and not worried. I felt pressurised to eat stuff I didn't like and exercise when I didn't want to...I guess the re... Wed, 6 May 2015 10:26:02 EST Calorie Cycling http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5916163 I've done calorie cycling before and it works really well. It give me flexibility during the week. Monday: 1400 to 1500 Tuesday: 1200 to 1300 Wednesday: 1500 to 1600 Thursday: 1200 to 1250 Friday: 1200 to 1300 Saturday: 1500 to 1700 Sunday: 1200 to 1400 Hopefully it'll work again. Exercise at least 30 minutes Average 60 minutes If you have time 90 minutes Thu, 23 Apr 2015 02:59:47 EST Stick to What Works for YOU! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5910044 70kgs...whooo was there a long time ago. Back again after 3 years - pretty good on me for keeping off for that long....I guess. <BR> <BR> Sticking to what works for me will help me bounce back. <BR> <BR> When life hits you with all it's got, you need to get back on track or you will drown. <BR> <BR> Hence back I am with the same old strategy: <BR> <BR> 1. Eat what you like, within reason (of course chocolate gataeu for breakfast doesn't make sense) <BR> <BR> 2. Count Calories (Religio... Sun, 12 Apr 2015 17:18:25 EST New exercise bike http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5908654 Fully pumped up and ready to go go go! 40 minutes in first session even though at first I thought 10 minutes would be hard. Feeling proud. Roaaaaar! Fri, 10 Apr 2015 03:23:29 EST Recent Healthy Meal Gallery http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5903316 <BR> Quorn mince lasagne (271kcals) with a side of green veg medley <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/4/7/l476878670.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Seafood Paella (310kcals) with light mayo <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/0/l2012201861.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Omelette and Salami Thinwich (220kcals) with tea <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/1/l1188021164.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Lunch today. Quorn spaghetti bolognese ( 255kcals ) with green ve... Wed, 1 Apr 2015 04:05:34 EST Creative in the Kitchen http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5899215 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/2/l1250694953.jpg"> Wed, 25 Mar 2015 06:47:05 EST Going Steady http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5887342 Going steady... really getting back into it. Planning meals, shopping for healthy meal ideas, it's all coming back to me, and I'm loving it. Treats actually feel like treats, rather than an endless blur of sugar and guilt. <BR> <BR> Clothes are fitting better again and the DH has mentioned he liked what he's seeing. <BR> <BR> ;) Thu, 5 Mar 2015 07:43:25 EST Being gentle but firm! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5883191 There's definitely a balance to strike when coming back after a while of being undisciplined... Go too easy and bad habits creep back. Go too strict and you cave in. At 70kgs the last thing I should be eating are biscuits. But since I am planning to eat everything in moderation I'll be eating them in small packs and incorporated into the range from day 1. At 125kcal per pack and giving me the chocolate and crunchy biscuit fix at once as well as being soothing with a cup of tea or java, i... Thu, 26 Feb 2015 14:10:14 EST The worst thing ever! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5882530 It took me 2.5 years to go down from 73kgs to 63kgs since joining sparkpeople. <BR> <BR> The year 2014 has taken it's toll - with everything going wrong, it was the hardest year of my life. <BR> So hard that I am now back at 70kgs! <BR> <BR> My biggest question now is... will it take another 2 years for me to lose the weight again? <BR> <BR> I hope not. <BR> <BR> There is a sense of despair - a degree of pessimism right now which is sabotaging any progress - I take 2 steps forward and 3 s... Wed, 25 Feb 2015 13:34:38 EST First Binge of the Year... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5851077 Emotional Eating... Need I say more? <BR> <BR> ;( Sat, 10 Jan 2015 13:14:19 EST Down to 65.8kg! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5841352 Really glad right now - usually I stopped dead at 66.2kg and then to my dismay actually used to go right back up. Not this time. I've lost another 0.4kg! that's almost half a kg. <BR> <BR> Revved up and pretty determined to stick to this through anything! <BR> <BR> Yay! Tue, 30 Dec 2014 15:04:53 EST Lost 1KG after the longest Plateau ever! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5838797 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/0/l1066043954.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I've been going on and off for a while now - trying to move in the right direction. Finally getting a result! <BR> <BR> I'm now 1 kg lighter than I was a week and a half ago! I am very delighted with this - it's only a small victory, but it's so refreshing to get the scale moving again after trying so hard for so long! <BR> <BR> My face is looking a lot lighter as above - and my clothes are also much more loos... Fri, 26 Dec 2014 12:11:12 EST Pictures! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5836900 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/6/8/l685142724.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Me at the very start of sparkpeople in 2012! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/9/l1940395785.jpg"> <BR> <BR> October 2013 - looking more than a little different, yes? <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/7/l1769936657.jpg"> <BR> <BR> December 2013 <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/6/l1622209176.jpg"> <BR> <BR> January 2014 - at lowest wei... Mon, 22 Dec 2014 15:51:51 EST Up and Down http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5836592 Husbands are funny things. You can't quite figure them out sometimes... He can be very bitter and blunt one minute and terribly sweet or loving the next. I've learnt not expecting anything from him works to my surprise as he changes considerably from day to day... One minute he was mentioning how he thinks imagines living without me and a few hours later he'll be hugging me for no reason. He can't stay negative for long although I certainly can hold a grudge for months on end. Prob... Mon, 22 Dec 2014 00:36:39 EST Back with a vengeance! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5836040 Good things spring out of the depths of darkness sometimes. Having cut myself off emotionally from my husband and only interacting on a practical and pragmatic level has set me free. I am concentrating wholly on what I want. I'm going to get it this time. This is for me. Only me. If he complains I will be ready for it. I will be happy with the new me I'm going to be very soon. Nothing can sway me now because I've been there and seen it all before. I'm almost 30 and time is not on my... Sat, 20 Dec 2014 20:59:42 EST Very Good at Promising, not so on Delivering! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5834997 Reverse psychology. Only works when you don't want it to. <BR> <BR> No sooner have I started giving him the hard shoulder is he getting on the proverbial knee and making wild romantic promises. <BR> <BR> I won't fall for it. <BR> <BR> I always fall for it. <BR> <BR> I always get disappointed when the tables are turned and I find myself chasing him instead. <BR> <BR> Don't think so. <BR> <BR> I'm going to lose the extra weight and get down to my desired size, not what he thinks a woman ... Thu, 18 Dec 2014 15:52:04 EST Letting Go http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5834732 I have to face the facts. <BR> <BR> 9th Anniversary yesterday and my husband bribes me with a shopping trip so I leave him alone and let him work and we don't spend time together. <BR> <BR> Let's face it - it's not going to become what I want it to. Stop fighting it. Just take the good and ignore the bad. <BR> <BR> Make the best of whatever there is. <BR> <BR> Not everyone is blessed the same with romance, love and respect. <BR> Thu, 18 Dec 2014 04:33:19 EST Sorry, your excess baggage limit has been exceeded! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5832908 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/8/2/l829146045.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Stuck in a vicious cycle of negativity... <BR> <BR> Very much like all that baggage going round in the carousel at the airport...it keeps going around, unless someone comes and takes it away. <BR> <BR> I'm in a similar situation. <BR> <BR> My negative cycles come and go. For weeks on end I am the shining example of tenacity, hard work and optimism. <BR> <BR> At the slightest pindrop - gosh, it could be somethi... Sun, 14 Dec 2014 15:02:08 EST