RPBURRJR's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=RPBURRJR RPBURRJR's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ MC Scat Cat Syndrome http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4882178 As I am a child of the 80s I will always remember the duet between Paula Abdul and an animated cat. I keep thinking about it right now because I feel like I am in fact taking two steps forward and then two steps back. The hardest part is remembering that this is a long term journey and not a quick fix. <BR> <BR> Yesterday I realized that had forgotten to take my insulin shot for 2 straight days (one of the joys of the coma and the surgeries is a horrible short term memory even if my long t... Tue, 15 May 2012 08:51:12 EST Back again http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4837765 It seems like I just posted one of these all about coming back to the site. Then I went away. <BR> <BR> Well, I had more surgery (and will be finding out today if I am going to have still more quality time under the knife). And unfortunately I don't have much time to post today because I have to get ready to see the bonesaw. But I have decided that I am going to once again commit myself to getting myself healthy (I didn't abandon it while I was gone, but I am hoping that the positive reinf... Mon, 16 Apr 2012 13:52:48 EST Not Feeling It http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4656865 I don't like being set up to fail. <BR> <BR> I do dental billing. I bill insurances, and when the need arises patients. It is a job that I pretty much fell into and have been making a living (almost) at it for about 10 years now. I have never done any medical billing of any kind. They are different things completely, with different codes and definitions and programs and specializations and modifiers etc. <BR> <BR> For reasons I cannot fathom (although I have some pretty strong ideas),... Wed, 4 Jan 2012 12:29:36 EST Did ya miss me? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4653808 Yeah, I took a bit of a vacation. I went through a bit of a rough patch mentally and I realized that I was checking out from a lot of stuff (including being on here) so I got away from it. <BR> <BR> Of course, I also got away from pretty much any healthy habit I had worked on building up too and I ballooned up to about 360 lbs. I hope I enjoyed myself. <BR> <BR> Like a lot of people on here that have been fighting the fight against being obese for a long time I get discouraged and I get... Tue, 3 Jan 2012 10:45:38 EST Not The Usual Monday Blues http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4572662 I came into work feeling pretty hyped after that game last night. I am still kind of bummed about my foot acting up (I am going to try to not walk on it as much as possible and just use the stationary bikes for a couple of weeks to see if that helps, but the big problem is that as a side effect of one of the surgeries my toes are curled / bent upwards and they rub against any closed toed shoe and get badly blistered and from there easily infected. Not even multiple layers of socks seems to ... Mon, 7 Nov 2011 11:07:51 EST New Day? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4571744 I got a lot done this weekend, but one thing I did not do was get to the gym. My foot started acting up again (and this is really getting annoying to tell you the truth) and I have been eating well but nothing else. I need to find a new plan for my fitness minutes. I am just getting really tired of having to stop and start over and over again with this foot problem. It feels like it keeps derailing me. <BR> <BR> I am probably not going to have a voice tomorrow because of the game (go Rav... Sun, 6 Nov 2011 20:37:02 EST Loverboy Song Goes Here http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4568387 Like everybody else I am in fact working for the weekend (which is now approximately 2.5-3 hours away). I am looking forward to hanging out with friends tonight, hosting a playoff game tomorrow for the trivia company I work for part time and Sunday is time for God, pancake breakfast, and then football (in that order). <BR> <BR> I do feel better than I did yesterday (thank you all for the kind words and encouragement). I suppose 60 minutes on the stationary bike helped get my endorphins a l... Fri, 4 Nov 2011 13:53:20 EST Preaching is Easy, Practicing is Hard http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4566521 I have been working diligently to get on the message boards and the blogs to encourage others. I feel like the more I prop others up the more I will build myself up with them. And that is what Spark is really all about for me. I have been telling everyone that allows random people to post on their page to keep positive and build off of their successes. I have stressed that they need to learn from their mistakes and not let one misstep ruin their day or week or month. Just because you fal... Thu, 3 Nov 2011 11:05:11 EST Making it Happen http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4565935 I cheated a bit and place marked this blog so I could edit it today. It was almost midnight and I was exhausted but I really had to eat because I did not get to eat dinner in between jobs so I wanted to give my food some time to digest before going to bed. <BR> <BR> But I couldn't make words happen on here. <BR> <BR> I have to take a moment to at least sprain my arm if not break it patting myself on the back for squeezing in a workout at home after not getting to the gym yesterday. It was... Wed, 2 Nov 2011 23:59:42 EST Feeling My Ron Swanson http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4562770 If you don't watch Parks and Rec, you should. It is a very funny show. <BR> <BR> Like 93% of the internet, I love Ron Swanson. And as I sit here at work waiting for my end of month paperwork to come in so that I can go into panic mode I realized that he is a perfect Sparker. He takes responsibility for his actions, admits his faults, and takes pride in his work (not his job, but his work. Woodworking and playing the saxophone). <BR> <BR> So in November I am going to start being more p... Tue, 1 Nov 2011 09:21:40 EST Cue "Theme from Rocky" http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4561209 I am now in my 2nd week of being a gym member and I am actually STILL looking forward to going. <BR> <BR> I know, I am as surprised as you are. <BR> <BR> I think that finally committing to Spark People has given me a lot of extra motivation to finally getting myself healthy and making a real lasting change in my lifestyle and choices. This morning I was waiting for my ride when he called me to tell me that he was stuck behind an accident on the Beltway and was going to be late. Well it ... Mon, 31 Oct 2011 10:50:03 EST Making lemonade http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4560563 So it was not a banner day around here. Wife couldn't sleep last night and we could not agree this morning. And yes, I did show her who's boss by having a handful Halloween candy (those Milk Duds didn't deserve that carnage). <BR> <BR> But we had a show today (we were part of a benefit for the Poe museum here in Baltimore), and by the time we were at Westminster Hall (the place Poe is buried) we were doing much better overall (we even were able to joke around a bit). So it ends well at le... Sun, 30 Oct 2011 22:31:14 EST Weekend Blues http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4559022 Nothing like a 40 degree day filled with rain, sleet, and snow to get you motivated. This is the kind of day where I would always spend the day watching TV and eating junk food. And believe you me when I say the temptation was there. <BR> <BR> But I went to the gym. WITH my wife. AND when Wifey mentioned that we could just order subs and take it easy this evening I said I would cook dinner instead. <BR> <BR> Of course, when Wifey said we should have burgers instead of the salmon and ric... Sat, 29 Oct 2011 19:22:55 EST Jumble-aya http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4557177 I want gumbo. <BR> <BR> Also, I am still all over the place, although it isn't as bad since my father is out of surgery (and by all reports did fine while under the knife) and my wife is no longer in the emergency room w/a swollen face. <BR> <BR> I fought myself and going to the gym yesterday, going from really wanting to go to wanting to go home and curl up on the couch and stare into space until midnight. But I got myself to leave (and getting there is 98% of the battle, trumping G.I. J... Fri, 28 Oct 2011 10:15:28 EST Time to vent http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4555807 I am feeling kind of overwhelmed right now. <BR> <BR> -My father is in surgery and I am stuck at my desk at work. It is minor surgery, but still I am feeling distracted by it <BR> <BR> -My wife had an allergic reaction to Blistex (and WTF is that all about anyway) and took herself to the emergency room where she got a steroid shot and was told to take Benadryl. <BR> <BR> -My boss just told me that he is adding a second ongoing account to my job duties and that I am now going to have to ... Thu, 27 Oct 2011 11:47:35 EST Don't Push Too Hard http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4553874 For anyone following along at home (or like me, while slacking at work), Wifey (the official name of the official wife of this currently unsponsored blog - BTW I am accepting bids for corporate sponsorship. Get in now while rates are reasonable!) did join me at the gym yesterday. Since Tuesdays are an all cardio day for me I pretty much just went over to the treadmill while she checked the place out. I only caught her looking over at me once, which made me a little uncomfortable for reason... Wed, 26 Oct 2011 09:12:04 EST Am I done yet? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4552296 So I went to the gym yesterday. <BR> <BR> Yay!!!!!! <BR> <BR> I was talking to my friend who I hope will be my workout buddy. I called him while I was at work to see if he was up for checking the place out w/me last night, but he had a "honeydo" list as long as his arm (they are leaving for a vacation on Wednesday and he is off from his job on Mondays so it makes sense). He asked me if I was going straight from work or if I was going home first and I told him that I had to go home since I... Tue, 25 Oct 2011 10:25:13 EST Not the most auspicious debut http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4550826 I mentioned that I joined the gym on Friday. The plan was (and is) to go today as the first day and take it from there. I had toyed w/trying to go really early in the morning (which will be what I will have to do if my chosen workout partner is going to join me, as his work schedule does not allow afternoon or evening workouts), but with the morning being more of a time / schedule crunch as opposed to the afternoon and this being my first visit and probably having things to do that go along... Mon, 24 Oct 2011 13:16:02 EST Sunday Funday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4549347 I have been pretty stressed because my improv troupe is going through some changes (I started my troupe after the one that I was in burned out after about 10 years). This is the first time that it has had to go through some major changes and I was apprehensive about what would come of it. <BR> <BR> Well, I am still apprehensive. But I am feeling a bit more hopeful about the whole thing. I had a good talk with one of the people directly involved in forcing the change, and we are on good ... Sun, 23 Oct 2011 15:06:11 EST I'm Still Here http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4548140 I wanted to go w/"I'm Still Standing" because I love me some Elton John rebellion pop music, but it really didn't fit the motif. <BR> <BR> The Rapture was supposed to happen again last night (the schmuck who said it was going to be in the Spring later said "Oh, I forgot about Daylight Savings Time and Leap Years. Add 6 months". And unless either EVERYONE I KNOW is unworthy, he was wrong. <BR> <BR> If you can read this please leave me a message. I want to know if you are also one of the u... Sat, 22 Oct 2011 18:04:50 EST Taking the Leap http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4546565 Today I joined a gym. This will be my 3rd time being a gym member. The first time was Bally's when I graduated college. That was a lot of wasted money. The second time was Merritt Fitness, which was right around the corner from the club where I DJ'ed on weekends. I was much more serious about that time, as I joined right after I was first diagnosed as a diabetic. Looking back now I am sure that I looked quite the fool sitting in my car after a workout, sweating, panting, and smoking a c... Fri, 21 Oct 2011 13:24:05 EST Making the best of a bad situation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4544850 I had a bad day yesterday. <BR> <BR> Tuesday night I had a fight w/my wife. Nothing major, but enough to put me off of eating dinner. I started off yesterday doing well, but not long after yesterday's blog post I got an angry email from her about a bunch of things. So I drove off in a huff to get lunch. I couldn't decide between a big box of the aforementioned Royal Farms chicken or trying at least one of the new "Toppers" burgers from Burger King. So I decided I would drive past both a... Thu, 20 Oct 2011 11:32:12 EST Day 3 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4543052 I had to drive myself into work today (I usually carpool). For reasons best left for another blog (or therapy if need be) I was up and ready to leave a good bit of time before I actually HAD to leave (I was ready even before I usually am for the carpool pick up). Almost immediately the part of my brain that I am on a journey to correct started telling me to grab the keys because if I leave now I will be able to go to the Hardee's near work and get breakfast (my first ever "real" job was at ... Wed, 19 Oct 2011 10:13:56 EST Let Me See You MOVE http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4541535 Whatever happened to C&C Music Factory? <BR> <BR> Today is Day 2 of me going all in on getting healthy. Today is Day 1 of my lazy habits trying to convince me to go back to sleep since there was no exercise scheduled for today here on Spark. <BR> <BR> Today is Day 1 of me telling my lazy habits to shut the [redacted] up. <BR> <BR> Every day in every way I am getting better and better. Tue, 18 Oct 2011 11:41:01 EST Channeling my inner Patti LaBelle http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4539406 My grandfather used to use a phrase that has stuck with me for my entire life. Whenever someone was determined to do something (or if they were having a snit) he would say that they "had a bug up their butt". <BR> <BR> What can I say, he was off the boat Scottish. <BR> <BR> The last week's snit fest has made me more determined than ever to get myself right. So I do have a new attitude (in case you were wondering what the headline had to do with bugs up people's butts, it doesn't). And I ... Mon, 17 Oct 2011 09:53:23 EST Feeling a little better http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4535353 I am still in a crappy mood, but not as severe as it was the other day. I no longer want to cry or punch anyone/thing. But I could really go for a talk w/my old English / Drama teacher from high school. Unfortunately he has been dead for years. So that isn't going to happen. <BR> <BR> Here's hoping seeing my parents this afternoon will make things a little brighter for the weekend. Fri, 14 Oct 2011 12:07:54 EST Having A Moment http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4533652 I don't know what is going on, but I am pissed off right now. Pissed at myself for letting myself get to this point, for not being strong enough to stop myself or make the changes that I know I have needed to make for a long time, for being weak. I am disgusted with myself for making bargains with myself that I know I will never keep, like "I'll start on Monday, this weekend is my Farewell to Bad Habits". I am sick to my stomach. I am embarrassed of and for myself. I am ashamed that my w... Thu, 13 Oct 2011 11:30:39 EST Keeping My Eye On The Prize http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4506763 When you are as fat as I am (I believe I have to lose 20 lbs to get to "morbid" status), it is hard to keep going when the incremental gains don't show up. I know in my head that I am not going to lose 50 lbs in the first week, but even seeing the number on the scale go down by 2 doesn't mean much when you look in the mirror and see the same rolls and stretch marks looking just as huge as they did before. <BR> <BR> So I am trying to remind myself that this is not going to be a blizzard (I... Tue, 27 Sep 2011 13:07:19 EST Monday Morning Coming Down http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4504956 I did not have a good weekend. <BR> <BR> Friday my podiatrist dropped the thought of more surgery (as if the past 18 combined weren't enough), only this time it isn't about medical necessity as much as it is about correcting the problem of my remaining toes on my left foot curling up and because of that rubbing against my shoes and blistering). Saturday almost half of my cast cancelled on me for a very important rehearsal, more than a few at the last minute. By Saturday night, the two an... Mon, 26 Sep 2011 13:49:02 EST What Would Happen If Walter Mitty Was Armed? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4497032 Today is a "dying to turn around and tell the chatterbox behind me to shut the hell up" kind of day. I am trying to focus on the fact that I am doing well with my eating and exercise today and take it one day at a time. But the devil on my shoulder is the size of Andre the Giant and the angel is currently barely hanging onto Verne Troyer status. Wed, 21 Sep 2011 16:00:57 EST It's Probably Silly http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4495130 But I am really proud of myself today. <BR> <BR> An old friend (old as in long time, not because she is ancient or anything) and I realized a couple of weeks ago that we work in the same neighborhood. So we arranged to get together for lunch, like we used to do on a weekly basis when we were both working in Downtown Baltimore. She really wanted to go to Wendy's, so I said that would be fine. <BR> <BR> I went in there pretty much planning on getting a Baconator (and then deciding if I was ... Tue, 20 Sep 2011 15:16:42 EST Office Stress http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4486413 I guess my workplace is not too much different than a lot of other people's workplaces, but I get so frustrated by how inconsiderate my coworkers are. I work in medical billing, and we are on the phone a lot, especially w/the insurance companies. So why do I have to sit here and listen to your phone on speaker while you go through the voice prompt system and then 10 minutes of Aetna's hold music while I am trying to post payments or sit on hold on my phone (w/the receiver to my ear like an ad... Thu, 15 Sep 2011 12:02:01 EST Feeling It Today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4473297 I work two jobs, and last night was my second straight double between the two. I didn't get home until after 11pm, and with all the usual craziness of the two jobs back to back I wound up skipping dinner. Add an antsy dog because she hates rain and thunderstorms to being hungry and you get restless sleep. Because of THAT I decided it would be more healthful for me to sleep in a little later than I had originally planned and move my brief morning "wake up workout" to this afternoon. But I o... Thu, 8 Sep 2011 10:07:55 EST Taking It Seriously (And This Time I Mean It) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4469679 I have been hot and cold with keeping my Spark information up to date. Why? I think I figured if I didn't fully commit than it would be easier for me to cheat the system. But I am tired of half-assing this. I exercise for a few days then stop and when I start back up I go back to the beginning. I keep making excuses for everything and I just can't do it anymore. So I am finally making my page and starting this for real. Tracking everything I eat and do. Making myself accountable for my healt... Tue, 6 Sep 2011 14:50:39 EST