ROSIENGA's SparkPeople Blog ROSIENGA's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community How could I let it get this far? Hello! <BR> <BR> I've been away for quite a while. Work and School have consumed my life. I have eaten at more fast food and restaurants then I would like to admit. My second year of grad school shouldn't be too bad. I have decided that I'm going to have to move my goal date another year. I was playing with my caloric intake and then it hit me! How could I let myself get this far? I've always been over weight and have struggled all my life, but to be 380 lbs.! 20 lbs. to 400!! I never thoug... Sun, 15 May 2011 21:44:21 EST Away for a While... Hello! I've been away for quite a while. The holidays came up and we went home to visit family and of course unhealthy food was all around us so I quit eating and said I'd start back up when I got home. My PCOS kicked in and I had a prolonged period. It lasted 2 months! This beast was taking over me! I was so tired and sleepy all the time that I didn't feel like going to the gym. After going to the doctor and he putting me on the right medication I am finally feeling like my old self so now I... Sun, 13 Feb 2011 08:51:38 EST One Pound I went to the gym today and did my weigh-in and saw that I gained ONE Pound!! I couldn't believe it.. how could I gain a pound? I realized I didn't eat well nor meet my exercising goal last week but over all I've lost 12 pounds so far! WOO HOO!! I'm content with my loss but was a little bummed when I saw that scale. <BR> <BR> I have to stop being so obsessed with what the scale says and be content with the change I'm making in my life. <BR> <BR> I'm moving on and am DETERMINED to BEAT this ... Tue, 29 Jun 2010 23:35:24 EST Goals I've been contemplating my goals and rewards for my journey to the new me.... <BR> <BR> 20 Lbs. = New Vera Bradley Bag <BR> 40 Lbs= Trip to the Beach <BR> 60 Lbs= New Coach Purse <BR> 80 Lbs= New "Mini" Wardrobe <BR> 100 Lbs= Photo Shoot <BR> 120 Lbs= Northface Jacket <BR> 140 Lbs= Trip to Universal Studios <BR> 160 Lbs= New Wardrobe <BR> 175 Lbs (ULTIMATE GOAL)= Trip to NYC or Washington DC and Photo Shoot and eventually my NEW MUSTANG!!!!! <BR> <BR> I thought spacing them out into 20 lbs ... Mon, 28 Jun 2010 08:59:10 EST Graduate School So I applied for the Master's of Social Work Program at Valdosta State University and I've been accepted for the Fall term. I'm super excited about my new adventure!!!! I am also applying for various graduate assistant ships and hope to attain one, so I have something to do along with my graduate work. I am confident that my eating habits will stay the same because I am even more determined to get this weight off. <em>252</em> Fri, 25 Jun 2010 12:44:40 EST Monster Last night as I was working out, I was listening to my iPod and a song by Skillet came on.. Its called Monster. As I started listening to the lyrics I realized I am battling my own monster, MY WEIGHT! <BR> <BR> The secret side of me, I never let you see <BR> I keep it caged but I can't control it <BR> So stay away from me, the beast is ugly <BR> I feel the rage and I just can't hold it <BR> <BR> It's scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls <BR> It comes awake and I can't contr... Wed, 9 Jun 2010 09:22:47 EST Friends Theses are just some random thoughts so hopefully it will seem clear.... <BR> <BR> All through out High school I had a best friend named S. S and I were best friends because we were both "fluffy". Well S did something that I really disagree with spiritually and so we drifted apart. Well we still spoke but weren't really the closest of friends. I always felt that there was a competition between us. Who had the better clothes etc. Well S decided to have the Lap-Band Procedure done. She start... Thu, 22 May 2008 23:27:14 EST Trying something New! I've realized something on this weight loss journey! I now see why I allowed myself to gain so much weight! I would eat just to eat. This may sound crazy! But I think about food and what sounds good and I eat it...even though I'm not hungry. I'm trying to stop doing that but am finding it difficult. I'm starting to drink water when I feel hungry to make sure I really am hungry. Is anyone else struggling with this as well?? Anyway just a thought for the day! I hope y'all are doing well!! <BR>... Thu, 1 May 2008 14:27:54 EST Got back on the Horse! Hi! I posted about going to the gym yesterday and after much crying and talking to my mom I decided to go to the gym today! I got on and it didn't squeak! Thanks for the support!! Not only did I burn 551 calories I lost another pound. so thats 7 lbs. down just 153 more to go! I'm soo happy and Thanks again for the support!! <BR> <BR> Take Care!! <em>304</em> Sat, 26 Apr 2008 15:49:10 EST At the gym today! So I went to the gym today and have been going for a couple of weeks regularly. So, I get there and see that I've lost 2 more lbs. I'm really excited about this and then I go upstairs to hit the elliptical. So I'm determined to burn my 510 calories for today. I'm getting situated, putting my water bottle up and getting my ipod ready to watch High School Confidential, here I go, I'm going to do this! And the elliptical starts to squeak. Its squeaking soo LOUD that I can hear it over my show. ... Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:21:26 EST