ROSE21461's SparkPeople Blog ROSE21461's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Food did I ever live without it?! When it comes to weight loss and dieting, I am a seasoned veteran. Ever since I can remember, weight has been an issue for me. As a young pre-teen I remember my parents talking about sending me to a teen “fat camp” for the summer. Unfortunately, the cost exceeded their income. I grew up a chubby, insecure teenager with horrible self-esteem issues. Later, in my early 20s, I continued to battle with self-esteem, addiction and an eating disorder. <BR> <BR> It wasn’t until my marriage of 15 year... Fri, 8 Nov 2013 12:54:01 EST Starting over... It was 2009 and I was at the end of a two-year relationship and weighed over 245 pounds. I was completely out of shape and in clinical depression. I put everything I had into finding myself and by the summer of 2011 I had lost 70 pounds. It was becoming a struggle to lose more and reach my goal, but I wasn’t giving up. Then I injured my back and shortly thereafter had carpal tunnel surgery. I was out of commission for four months and gained back some of the weight I lost. Again, I struggled... Wed, 9 Jan 2013 12:06:57 EST Frustration Ladies and Gentlemen, I am officially and totally frustrated. <BR> <BR> I have gained and lost the same 2-3 since June. At first I blamed this plateau on the fact that I wasn't really putting forth enough effort. I was watching what I was eating and exercising, but not as seriously as I should have been. So I kicked it up and notch. Nothing. <BR> <BR> I then got fully involved. I ate right, I exercised like I there was no tomorrow. I read every article I could get my hands on for adv... Tue, 19 Oct 2010 16:44:54 EST Bad Choices Making bad food choices wasn’t my only issue; I historically made bad choices when it came to relationships. I seemed to gravitate towards men with “issues”. Of course, no matter how long these relationships lasted (or didn’t last); they were obviously just as unhealthy for me as the bad food choices I was making. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, I chose these relationships so that I could focus on their issues and avoid mine. Typically, this made my problems worse, as my self-este... Thu, 8 Jul 2010 16:07:27 EST No more excuses A friend of mine was trying to “explain” to me the other day why she will always be overweight. I heard a long list of I can’t do this or thats followed by “dieting is so much easier for you.” My confused stare was complimented by about 30 seconds of silence, to which I replied “First off, I am not on a diet. The changes I have made to my life are just that, changes. From what I eat to what I do, I cannot go back to the way I was, EVER. However, if you are really and truly interested in ma... Mon, 21 Jun 2010 12:51:37 EST Negativity In my "previous life" I was always negative. I can't or I will never be able to was a part of my daily mantra. It was a wonderful place to hide; after all, how could it be my fault if I had no control over it? <BR> <BR> Fact is, I had control. Rather than actually try, I did what is known as "projecting"; planning the results negatively. I was really good at projecting. <BR> <BR> Sad thing is, I continued to be overweight, out of shape and heading towards disaster. I lived in a co-dependent... Wed, 28 Apr 2010 12:44:35 EST The Plateau There's nothing more frustrating than to be doing everything "right" but not seeming to get anywhere. I eat right, I drink plenty of water, I exercise my little heart out and yet I am now stuck. I read articles how to break out of the plateau and applied their guidelines and yet, nothing. I know I didn't gain all this weight overnight, yet I also know that if I splurged and ate a hot fudge sundae tonight, tomorrow I will have gained two pounds. It's so unfair! <BR> <BR> So for this week, I a... Mon, 15 Mar 2010 14:25:06 EST Sometimes goals aren't always black & white So there it was; my first goal. I wanted to reach 200 pounds by my 49th birthday. So I stepped on the scale and it read 202.8. I wanted to die; this couldn't be true! I had worked so hard over the past 6 months, but I had failed. <BR> <BR> I stood in front of the mirror and instead of seeing my accomplishments; all I could see was failure. I still believed I was looking at a 245 pound woman. It didn’t seem to matter that I went from a size 20 to a size 14. Or that only 2 minutes on my now ... Tue, 16 Feb 2010 15:53:08 EST