RISINGBLUESTAR's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=RISINGBLUESTAR RISINGBLUESTAR's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ The worst medication ever! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5732731 This blog is about a medication that was suppose to help with depression and anxiety. Well, it didn't. It was awful. The problem is the doctor wanted to try mood stabilizers. The first one numbed me out and partially sedated me. My brain felt all tingly. I gained 8 lbs taking that so then the doctor wanted to try another mood stabilizer. Now, this medication works for so many people and that is wonderful but it was a nightmare for me. Personally, I feel the doctor was trying to treat a disord... Sat, 5 Jul 2014 21:07:23 EST Support isn't support anymore. Not even on SP. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5720298 Weight loss is about much more than shedding pounds. It's about emotions and going through roller coasters. Some people share more than others and that's fine. Some people share because it helps them. I have always been there for people who had depression and anxiety badly. I remember this one member (she has changed her Spark name a few times now. She hit all time lows with her depression and I was always there trying to give an encouraging word. When I felt bad, her comments were nowhere to... Wed, 18 Jun 2014 01:27:14 EST Finding the right counselor is hard!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5712372 Warning: This blog discusses god. Just letting you know in case you want to skip it. I believe and nobody can take that away from me! No rude comments either! <BR> <BR> I had a scary experience with asthma that scared me. In a way, it's a good thing because it made me more grateful but in a way, it's not such a good thing. Anyway, my counselor is leaving and she is trying to find someone else for me to work with. My one request is that they believe in God. It matters to me. Another counselo... Fri, 6 Jun 2014 21:55:33 EST Weight and a school& stuff http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5703378 NOTE: Ignore all of the grammar errors. When you are tired, it happens. :) <BR> <BR> <BR> I began taking some meds that were suppose to be weight neutral but I gained some weight. Weight that I worked hard to get off. It stinks but I will just have to try to get it back off. <BR> <BR> Dumb friends. I am tired of people not being as courteous to me as I have been to them. They are always "super busy." It's fun y because one of them was super busy but when a boyfriend came along, she had pl... Mon, 26 May 2014 09:18:35 EST Thank you! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5672374 Thanks to everyone who sent bday wishes!! :) Mon, 14 Apr 2014 21:55:35 EST Worries r getting to me today and it makes me feel a little selfish! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5662005 Worries are especially getting to me today. Tomorrow, I go back to school and have always doubted my choices. I am not good at the things that would be practical and worry that I am setting myself up for doom. It sounds so ridiculous out loud. I can be positive for an hour or a day or if I am luck, a week. It is so hard to deal with and explain to people who don't go through it. My friend is almost done with her classes and then will go into credential courses and become a teacher. We both a... Tue, 1 Apr 2014 18:46:20 EST People change + my new activity! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5659067 **WARNING: In this blog, God is discussed as are "signs." If you do not believe in those things, here is your chance to leave. I am warning you out of respect, not out of judgment. <BR> <BR> <BR> Earlier, I was missing my friends. Well, the friends they used to be. It's not the same anymore. It's a long winded story. Of course people change but I miss the long chats we used to have. <em>39</em> <BR> <BR> It's normal for people to change and for changes to occur in our lives but it's t... Sat, 29 Mar 2014 05:36:43 EST Time to get back on track!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5654330 I don't know how I fell off the wagon but I fell off and crashed into the ground while trying to treat anxiety and it's hard to get the train back on the tracks but here's to trying!! <BR> <BR> My plan: <BR> -sleep well <BR> -water , water, water <BR> - try to eat mostly natural things & avoid dairy (I am actually allergic to dairy, not just intolerant--allergic.) <BR> -workout by walking & hitting the gym <BR> -stress less---it solves nothing anyway!!! <BR> <BR> <BR> Reasons for wa... Sun, 23 Mar 2014 04:08:40 EST UPDATE about dog attack http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5651234 My dog is doing better. She is beginning to get her personality back. She is done with her antibiotics and happy about it. She is not fond of her stitches but she is healing well. <BR> <BR> The other dog has been reported. The owners were upset and the main owner of the dog said she was upset that we "turned on our word." We never promised anything. That dog is a danger and my poor angel was hurt because of her. I don't care that they're upset. I don't want anyone else getting hurt. <BR> ... Wed, 19 Mar 2014 01:37:38 EST Walk gone wrong! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5645012 On Saturday, my family and I were going for a walk, we had a good day and just thought it would be a good idea! Wrong! As we were walking, a dog got out of its house, came flying across the street and attacked my dog. <em>46</em> The dog picked my dog up, shook her around and bit her! my dog was on a leash and my sister tried to pick her up as quickly as she could but it was too late. My dog did survive but she is badly injured. She had to get stitches and tubes in place. She had to get... Tue, 11 Mar 2014 03:02:32 EST Stupid weight http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5640849 I am really irritated. Every time I lose weight, I can't keep it off. Before I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and pros, I weighed 214-218 pounds. That was in 2010 and it was after losing 30 lbs. I went to a dr app In March and the scale said 218 pounds. Then in May, the scale said 278 lbs. I was asked over and over if my eating habits changed but they were the same. In 2011, I finally got my diagnoses. Fast forward to May of 2013. I weighed in at 279.5. By October, I was down to around 258... Wed, 5 Mar 2014 22:22:10 EST March is almost here. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5631104 Hello everyone. :) Hope all is going well with you. I am doing okay. Little by little, I am trying not to allow worries to get the best of me. I am learning some strategies but it is still definitely a struggle. That is okay though. Not everything in life is suppose to be easy. <BR> <BR> The doctor gave me some medicine that helps but we are staying away from anything stronger for now since he sees improvements. He doesn't want to see me again for quite a while but I asked him what if I nee... Sat, 22 Feb 2014 19:45:50 EST Swelling throat and other things.. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5621721 My throat is swelling even more and has white patches. I threw up this morning and the hacking cough is still here. Now, a very intense migraine has come to join the other things. Blah! <BR> <BR> The doctor at the student health center said it could be X Y or Z. She gave me a Z pack in case it's bacterial but said it could be viral. I don't know. Something NASTY is going around! <BR> <BR> The doctor said if I can get stress levels down and sleep better, then my body will be able to heal ... Tue, 11 Feb 2014 20:24:44 EST Coughs are everywhere! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5619986 Germs have found me! It started out with a sinus infection last month. Took the medicine but now the germs are back and stronger than ever. My throat is so sore. Worst sore throat ever. It is swollen on the left side too and it looks gross. There are white patches where it is swollen and red streaks and a hacking cough has joined the sore throat. Being asthmatic and having a cough is painful. I don't know if it's bronchitis, step throat, or what. I will be visiting the student health center ... Mon, 10 Feb 2014 02:33:18 EST 2/6 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5617046 With the anxiety and depression I struggle with, I don't know how I manage to get to school and get through the day. Well, sometimes, I'll skip a class here or there and I haven't been studying at all but still managed to get a 90 out of 100 on an exam. <BR> <BR> I was talking to a friend from middle school the other day. She said our friendship isn't over just because we went to different schools. She withdrew from the university a while ago and then went to a career college for nursing but... Thu, 6 Feb 2014 15:20:07 EST Dumb session! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5615105 Yesterday afternoon, I went to a counseling session and it really upset me. <BR> <BR> It started out fine but then she told me she doesn't think she can help me unless I take medicine. The first medication did nothing and the doctor is working with mood stabilizers, not anti-depressants because he thinks that's the ticket. Anyway, they want to try me on a low dose of Lithium and it's not something I want to stick in my body. The counselor told me that I need to trust in the doctor and that ... Tue, 4 Feb 2014 15:04:06 EST Feeling torn/could use a friend... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5613608 It's kind of late tonight. My head is filled with many thoughts about what to do. The level of anxiety and depression I go through is making things extremely difficult. (See a couple of blogs back for more info.) <BR> <BR> Tomorrow is Monday and Monday is a class day for me. I literally have to drag myself there. There is no motivation for me to go. It just feels like I am going through the motions. The other students enjoy being there or at least seem very motivated and have their eye on a... Mon, 3 Feb 2014 03:17:08 EST ABC http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5612686 A is for Age: 24 <BR> <BR> B is for Booze: none. Don't like the taste, the smell, none of it. <BR> <BR> C is for Car: None yet. One day. One day. :) <BR> <BR> D is for Dad's name: Starts with a D and isn't Dave. Don't want to share anyone's name without their permission. Privacy is important. :) <BR> <BR> E is for Ego: How about down to earth instead? We all have a little bit of an ego but too much of one, no thanks! <BR> <BR> F is for Favorite song or music: Country! :) <BR> <BR> ... Sun, 2 Feb 2014 01:43:58 EST Giant monster/I don't want to go to school anymore! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5612230 I have had stress and fears for a long time now. It started out with a little fear and the fear grew and grew and grew and now it swallows me whole like a giant monster. <BR> <BR> Yesterday, I was at school and in between classes, I went to the library and ended up having an "attack." I just found a corner desk to sit at and cry. I can't control the anxiety. We tried medicine it doesn't work and I'm not trying what the next suggestion was. <BR> <BR> I had to call my mom and sister to come... Sat, 1 Feb 2014 15:21:23 EST thyroid medicine price increase. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5610549 My thyroid medicine is now $12 more than before. I have no idea why but I am really bummed out about it. I know it may not seem like much to most people but it's a big deal to me. <em>39</em> <BR> <BR> The dosage or quantity didn't change at all! <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> That's life I guess. <BR> <BR> Beware thyroid patients. Your medication may be a pricier this month too! <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Thu, 30 Jan 2014 20:10:50 EST Note I wrote last night.. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5609342 Here is something I wrote last night when I was feeling a little better. I don't know if I will believe this note all the time but I thought it would be good to write it out. <BR> <BR> Before you believe in yourself, your heart has to heal from whatever pain it has endured. If you are still living with the pain and hurting, moving forward comes to a halt. Sometimes, we don't realize that we are hurting or we may not know the cause. Maybe we do know the cause and just don't know how to not h... Wed, 29 Jan 2014 15:22:11 EST Don't know about this doctor part 2 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5609158 I talked to my mom about the medication the doctor wants to give me and we don't think it's a good idea. It is one thing to be willing to try medication but it is another to go straight to one of the strongest medications out there. Of course I want to feel better but I do not want to feel drugged. <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> Maybe it's not medication that is the answer. Maybe it's the way I perceive the world as scary and terrifying instead of challenging and adventurous. <em>40</em> I wil... Wed, 29 Jan 2014 12:20:19 EST Don't know about this doctor... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5608407 I am a bit frustrated. Spent a good amount of time writing a blog, was about to post it and then it somehow, it disappeared into cyberspace. It said everything I needed it to say. <BR> <BR> Guess I will work on it again later. <BR> <BR> For now, I'll just keep it short. <BR> <BR> Saw the doctor today. He wants to change my medication because the current one is not helping. <BR> <BR> I am not too pleased though. He wants to go straight to a heavy duty mood stabilizing drug. <BR> <BR>... Tue, 28 Jan 2014 16:18:24 EST Need new friends. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5605829 Talked to a friend tonight. Learned more about her engagement. It's nice that things are going well for her. That is a genuine statement. At the same time, something bothers me. <BR> <BR> I have known her for 10+ years and feel like an outsider. I may hear from her here and there once in a while. She says she is always busy. She was "super busy" BEFORE she had a boyfriend. Then, this past summer, she gets together with this guy and he is accepted easily with open arms by her family. He mus... Sun, 26 Jan 2014 03:39:50 EST Feeling a little better today! :) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5605431 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/3/4/l343025748.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Today is going well so far. <em>41</em> Someone my age was talking to me and going through a similar struggle as me, except she is keeping positive. It made me feel better. <em>41</em> <BR> <BR> Went for a walk and listened to my new country CD. I am very happy with the purchase and love all the songs! <em>41</em> Music is very therapeutic. <em>335</em> <BR> <BR> <BR> Thank you for all the messages... Sat, 25 Jan 2014 15:57:54 EST Giving up/Don't care anymore! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5604436 I don't care about losing weight anymore. I don't care about school anymore. Nothing good will come of any effort put forth anyway. It's all pointless. Nobody can help to make me feel better. Not family, not a counselor, not myself, nobody! <BR> <BR> It doesn't matter if you're a good person or if you're heart is pure. Trying does not matter. What matters is being liked and well accepted. And of course, those of us who struggle with that MUST BE PROJECTING something....right? Some people ar... Fri, 24 Jan 2014 13:20:22 EST She's getting married! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5602680 My friend is engaged. The date is set for the end of the year. I don't know all the details yet. She is suppose to call later. <BR> <BR> This is the only boyfriend she has ever had and she just started getting to know him this past summer. She knew him (not really but knew who he was) a few years before that. <BR> <BR> I can't tell you if I like him or not because I still haven't met him. All I know is he must be something special in her family's eyes. He got the seal of approval pretty q... Wed, 22 Jan 2014 19:50:14 EST Don't know what to do anymore... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5596901 All of this anxiety and depression is getting to me. I go to the counseling center. I saw the Psychiatrist and he gave me medicine but it's not helping yet. It's extremely hard for me to be at school. Wednesday, I left early. I sat at a table and cried until my sister got there. I don't know if I can even make it through today. What's the point of going to school if I don't have a goal with it anyway? Get a degree and still be stuck in life? Seems pointless to me? Don't go to school and still... Fri, 17 Jan 2014 11:10:47 EST Depressed & not exercising anymore... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5591250 Feeling depressed. Still missing my old self and feeling like I'll never find her. Ugh. I just feel like I am getting nowhere in life at all. I don't have a job and it's not exactly easy finding one either and it just makes me feel like crap. It makes me feel worthless especially for my age. I never had a job and it's the only thing I want. I have not been picky either. Will anyone ever give me a chance? My sister and I volunteered at a library and our work was praised but when a library pag... Sun, 12 Jan 2014 13:44:28 EST Sick :( http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5582045 I haven't been feeling well for the last few days but today, it was awful. <em>24</em> <em>527</em> Honestly, I believe I stressed out so badly that it took a toll on my body. <BR> <BR> Stress is very damaging. I hate it. Worry solves nothing but my mind still tends to go there. Sometimes, I can manage to relax but then the next day, the anxiety comes back like a hurricane. <BR> <BR> I don't deal with uncertainty very well at all and that is what gets to me and the same stuff I wrot... Sat, 4 Jan 2014 15:49:52 EST How to enjoy warm apple pie without eating it! :) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5578437 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/3/l1388980259.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Apple pie =delicious but way too many calories. Still, having the aroma lingering throughout the house is comforting. Pie is tempting but no worries. There is a way to enjoy warm apple pie without an apple pie even being anywhere around! <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/4/4/l449374671.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Candles are a great way to have the comforting aromas and not only do yo... Wed, 1 Jan 2014 19:24:57 EST Happy New year! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5577278 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/4/8/l486877261.jpg" <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/2/l127379550.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/6/l968927286.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/5/0/l506327756.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> Tue, 31 Dec 2013 23:55:50 EST They called already!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5569388 Yesterday, I sent a cover letter and resume for a possible job opportunity. They called already! They called today and I was out on a walk but I called back. The woman I am suppose to talk to is in a meeting right now and I am waiting for her to call me back. <BR> <BR> I am extremely nervous but a little excited too! I am afraid that I won't be able to answer the questions the right way but all I can do is try my best. <BR> <BR> Wish me luck!! <BR> <BR> <em>198</em> <em>334</em> Sat, 21 Dec 2013 15:52:28 EST I need to have more faith & part 2 of missing my old self... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5567525 Hi everyone. I am still struggling today. I *HATE* anxiety. It will go away for a while and then positive thoughts will come but they don't last long. <BR> <BR> All of you gave me really good advice and it's advice that I would give to someone else but stressful thoughts are not easy to get rid of. A lot of people believer that if you believe in God, that you should not worry. Maybe I need more faith in trust in God and in myself. Still, being a believe doesn't mean you don't have your stru... Wed, 18 Dec 2013 20:20:15 EST missing my old self... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5565002 Today did start out so well. I woke up feeling sad and with lots of anxiety. Same stuff really. Too many "what if" thoughts and too many fears about failure. <BR> <BR> When I was younger, those thoughts weren't around. I had a lot of determination and a belief in myself. Don't know exactly what caused the anxiety. It's mostly just fearing that I will choose the wrong thing to do in school and end up nowhere in life. <em>39</em> <BR> <BR> I already feel so behind. I just went back to sc... Sun, 15 Dec 2013 16:51:24 EST It's windy! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5560783 **Thank you to everyone who commented on my last blog. I appreciate it. :) <BR> <BR> It is so windy and cold today. I don't mind the weather though. I just feel lucky to not be stuck in an ice storm. Hope all of you who are not as lucky are staying warm and toasty! Be careful out there! <em>41</em> <BR> <BR> The tree is up but not decorated yet. We didn't get a real tree this year. I love the real trees but I am allergic to them. Fake trees can be just as nice too so it's not really a b... Mon, 9 Dec 2013 20:22:37 EST Dumb doctors and fat ones too! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5559271 I had an appointment with the endocrinologist not too long ago. Usually, it's not frustrating but that was such an irritating appointment. <BR> <BR> First, some strange doctor came in, introduced himself and then asked a couple of questions. He wasn't the greatest at listening. It went like this: <BR> <BR> How do you feel? Tired. Has the medication improved your symptoms? Somewhat but I am still tired. The medicine improved your symptoms so you are feeling better? <BR> <BR> Next, he brou... Sat, 7 Dec 2013 18:15:21 EST Happy Thanksgiving! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5551936 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/1/l114567263.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/5/l1572775962.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/8/8/l886482234.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/8/l185561819.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/5/l1542235419.jpg"> Thu, 28 Nov 2013 01:55:43 EST Tinkerbell http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5547933 <em>524</em> <BR> <BR> Almost four years ago (Nov. 23rd, 2009), we rescued a dog. Her name is Tinkerbell. She loves the outdoors, except when it's raining or windy. Here is a picture of her. <em>41</em> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/6/l1691609492.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Fri, 22 Nov 2013 18:39:05 EST Worries won't go away http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5530889 <em>24</em> <BR> I worry excessively ALL of the time. When I wake up, I am in pain. My side hurts, Sometimes, it's my head and sometimes, it's my stomach. Last month, I ended up getting so stressed out that I got a migraine and threw up and sometimes, it's hard to breathe. <BR> <BR> It's something I am working on but it's very challenging. Started seeing a counselor (Psychologist) at school last month. It helps a little but it's a process. I also go to a group class to learn skills about... Sun, 3 Nov 2013 11:35:52 EST When a door gets stuck http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5527775 Today was just not my day at all. First, I woke having some anxiety. It's something I am working on but today, it just got to me. <BR> <BR> Then I decided that I would do a little bit of cleaning to take my mind off of stuff. I turned on the radio and the oldies station was on. My mood was picking up a little. The UPS guy knocked on the door and of course, I headed to the door to an answer it and sign for important medication for one of my family members. Well, the door was STUCK. I couldn... Wed, 30 Oct 2013 21:23:24 EST Lunch ideas http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5518010 I have been back to school for about a month now. I have stayed away from the fast food places on campus (Taco bell, pizza hut, etc.) I usually just take a sandwich. Well, I am getting sick of sandwiches but am not sure what else to pack. <BR> <BR> -There is a new place on campus that has vegan options. I am NOT a vegan or vegetarian but I am sure they have healthier selections. There is also another place with healthy food options. Those places are fine once in a while but they are overpri... Sat, 19 Oct 2013 20:20:22 EST It's raining! :) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5509254 Got my workout minutes in today! It's nice when it's windy and raining outside because most people stay home and leave the gym nice and empty, giving others the option of using any machine they desire! <em>20</em> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <em>381</em> <BR> <BR> I love this new emoticon: <em>521</em> <BR> <BR> <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> <em>306</em> <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> <BR> Wed, 9 Oct 2013 20:05:43 EST Job searching http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5500416 Trying to find a job is very difficult. I am really shy when it comes to job searching which makes things harder. <BR> <BR> Today, I called a place in the phone book and asked if they were hiring. They weren't. The woman who answered wasn't the nicest but at least I tried. You just never know how someone is going to act but everyone has to start somewhere. Calling places is very intimidating. I don't like the feeling of being judged and I especially do not like it when someone has an attit... Mon, 30 Sep 2013 14:08:27 EST My new I.D. came in the mail! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5498638 I hate the picture! They took it way too close and instead of putting the weight I wrote on the form, they put a weight 15 lbs higher. :( In April, I took a permit test and I was 20 lbs heavier but I lost that 20 lbs and they should have indicated that weight on my new I.D. !! In the picture, it looks like I don't have a neck. Although I am heavy, I still have a neck that is very noticeable! <BR> <BR> I never want anyone to see that ID. My university ID looks more like me than this! <BR> ... Sat, 28 Sep 2013 15:17:24 EST First day of classes + Ice cream http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5490769 Had my first day of classes today and I am already overwhelmed! The day wasn't horrible but it wasn't good either. <BR> <BR> -One of my professors is requiring us to use a special program that is an extra cost to students but free for professors. That is alright but the program requires either a cell phone that texts or a laptop. "Everyone has a cell phone that texts," She said with certainty. Nope! Not everyone does! I have a laptop but looking at the screen for 2 hours is not idea for mig... Fri, 20 Sep 2013 03:05:08 EST Seasons change http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5486814 Autumn is almost here and although it's not my favorite time of the year, there are many things to love about it. Hot chocolate on a rainy day, the aroma of pumpkin scented candles, and the crisp, fresh breeze in the air. <em>465</em> <BR> <BR> This week it's time to go back to school. Why the college starts in the middle of the week, no idea but it will be an adventure. I am a transfer student and looking forward to seeing what the first day brings. A little worried about the size of th... Mon, 16 Sep 2013 02:29:08 EST Friday, the 13th http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5484811 Maybe you are superstitious. Maybe you are not. Either way, <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/0/l1041737779.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> -Don't be afraid if you spot a black cat. In some cultures, they are good luck! <em>41</em> <BR> <BR> Have a happy, healthy weekend! Be careful! <em>211</em> <BR> Fri, 13 Sep 2013 17:28:24 EST No diabetes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5476380 Today, at the doctor's office, my appointment went well. Found out I am NOT diabetic! The doctor even tested my blood sugar and it was excellent! <em>224</em> I explained to him that I worry about developing type 2 diabetes because it runs in the family and most women with one of the endocrine issues I have develop it sometime in their lives. He gave me a test kit and told me to keep testing the blood sugar for a few weeks. He told me before he took the blood sugar that he was 99% sure tha... Thu, 5 Sep 2013 04:37:25 EST Feels like an insult... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5472241 Yesterday, a friend came over and discovered the scale. She weighed herself and she is 20 lbs lighter. She said she has not been eating because "nothing agrees with her stomach." Not buying it but that is beside the point. <BR> <BR> She used to be 190 lbs and she said she did not want to get to 200 lbs because then it would be POINTLESS to try to lose weight. <em>39</em> <BR> <BR> I am over 200 lbs and by a lot. The weight is starting to come off but it has not been easy. She knows abo... Sun, 1 Sep 2013 05:20:08 EST