RISINGBLUESTAR's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=RISINGBLUESTAR RISINGBLUESTAR's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ A way better day! :) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6039244 I woke up so early this morning. Around 2:30 Am and ID TV was on. One of my family members can't get enough of those shows. I will watch maybe an episode or two then I am out of there! My sister hates those shows so much and who can blame her? I tried going to sleep but couldn't. <BR> <BR> Then, I fell asleep for a bit and missed a phone call from the place I applied to! Oh no! Luckily they left an email and they called back. I received my shift assignment.It's 10 hours, 4 days per week. I... Sat, 28 Nov 2015 22:46:53 EST Job interviews, Thanksgiving mishaps and gratefulness http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6038864 Note: Sorry about the errors. Typing on a mobile device is not always simple! <BR> <BR> Hi everyone. I hope you are not in too much of a food coma from Thanksgiving. <BR> <BR> Wednesday was a little crazy. I woke up late but made it to my second class 20 minutes late but hey, I still made it. We are doing cultural presentations. Egypt was the culture for the day. Tried some Egyptian food. Koshari. It was a bit spicy and probably would have been better warmed up but it's cool trying new st... Sat, 28 Nov 2015 05:25:34 EST So tiiiired! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6037008 I worked so hard on a presentation that I gave about a week ago with 4 other group members. I just wish we would have had food for the class or more interactive activities. We presented on Irish culture. The grou today presented on Native American culture and although we did Good, they did an incredible job with activities. The group that went between us- not so great but they tried. :) For my group, I chose the background scheme, the font, colors, added tons of pics and checked for grammar. ... Tue, 24 Nov 2015 05:06:03 EST Sometimes the words of others just click http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6029610 Sometimes, when I am stressed out, I like to watch YouTube videos. It is fun and relaxing but at times, the there are serious and important messages in the videos. <BR> <BR> Today, I was watching a video from Kendall Rae. The video discusses being body positive and the myth that that being positive regardless of appearance is the same is not caring about health. Check it out. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewz23CGmsG<BR>I <BR> <BR> What really jumped out to me was when she said that there... Tue, 10 Nov 2015 02:47:36 EST Dear Body Shamers http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6028038 Dear body shamers, <BR> <BR> Your attitudes and actions toward the people who you think need to change is not helpful, encouraging or productive in any form so stop it. Genuine concern for someone's health is fine but there are professionals and family and friends to address those concerns. If someone is a complete stranger, their body is none of your business. You may falsely believe that this is only aimed at fat shamers but you are wrong. Do not make anyone feel horrible, fat or th... Sat, 7 Nov 2015 00:42:51 EST Hello November! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6024876 Time just passes so quickly. Can't believe it's November. Halloween was alright -no lies, I still have some breaking up to do. Breaking up with chocolate. There are times I can go months without it but then those times you crave some. <BR> <BR> We hardly got any trick or treaters because the neighborhood was dark. Some of the kids were crying because they were afraid of the dark. Even with a few porch lights, it is still dark. We still gave away all of the candy which was awesome. <BR> <B... Sun, 1 Nov 2015 18:20:07 EST Star Wars and life http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6020698 I have never been a fan of shows like Star Trek and Star Wars. Of course, I knew a lot of people were but I had no idea how much of a phenomenon it is! <BR> <BR> For a class, we are assigned groups. We talked a little about the presentation and then everyone was feeling restless for various reasons. Then, everyone in my group began nerding out over Star Wars. They spoke excitedly and their eyes lit up. It brought them so much joy. Who was sitting there all lost but trying to understand? Whe... Sun, 25 Oct 2015 04:54:39 EST Optimistic October http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6018955 How many of us are not where we want to be? Not even close. That can be discouraging but each of us fights a unique battle every day. Maybe more than one battle and no matter what those struggles are about, the victories are important because by conquering other battles, we are becoming healthier. There is not anything that I can think of that doesn't relate to health. We get closer to our goals through winning a battle or two or even by losing a battle or two and learning valuable lessons. ... Wed, 21 Oct 2015 19:19:45 EST How the doctor appointment went.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6017713 Well, I did not see the actual Doctor (RE) but I saw the student doctor and the resident. The student doctor asked a bunch of questions. Fine, they have to learn somehow. Then the resident came in. He started out being sort of friendly but then the appointment just turned bad. <BR> <BR> The resident said that they are not convinced that I have PCOS. I asked them if they wanted to see my medical records because I have most of the symptoms and had blood tests to get that diagnosis. The reside... Mon, 19 Oct 2015 17:02:56 EST Fun Saturday/Great cause http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6017185 Friday was stressful. I tried to stay optimistic about the doctor's appointment but it didn't exactly go well. (I'll write an update about it later). Good thing Saturday was fun. There was an air show/benefit concert. The air show was amazing. The concert was really fun. Two country singers were there and they really gave a great show. They also signed autographs and were great sports to put up with the crazy heat. My sister and I had a great time. The cause it benefitted was Heroes Wings. Th... Sun, 18 Oct 2015 20:48:16 EST Nervous for tomorrow http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6015672 So nervous for tomorrow! It is the day that I see the Endocrinologist. He is a RE (Reproductive endocrinologist) so hopefully, all will go well. The fears are that he will just be used to working with women who have fertility problems or who want babies. Don't get me wrong, I know that stuff is important to other women but that can be frustrating when you are there for different reasons. Plus, telling me I'm fat. I do not need to be told something I am aware of every single day. I need help f... Thu, 15 Oct 2015 20:54:17 EST Tried and failed.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6010455 I tried going for a walk this morning but lately, I have been getting cramping in my legs. Not like a pulled muscle or a Charlie horse. It feels like menstrual cramps (even when It isn't that time of the month. A PA said it could be Arthritis. Well, he said Osteoarthritis. He said lose weight (Ugh, I have been in pain and trying to sort it out so I could workout more. <BR> <BR> At times, the pain is also in my hip. It feels like ice but also, it feels like the bones in my right hip/leg are... Tue, 6 Oct 2015 14:26:18 EST Mental health/illness & stigma http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6008602 What happened in Oregon was a horrible tragedy and terribly sad. Stuff like this gets people talking and they always target mental illness. I'm not saying that people who take the lives of others do not suffer from something profoundly wrong. The problem is there are so many mentally ill people who never harm anyone and never will but they get villianized because of the actions of others. That's not only unfair but discriminatory. <BR> <BR> There are plenty of people on this site with Bipol... Sat, 3 Oct 2015 13:30:47 EST Music for Fall fitness! :) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6007829 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/8c91b848-2ccd-4899-93fe-67992c625864.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Music is a great way to speed up your workouts! The music may not be your cup of tea but hopefully you will find at least one song that you can add to your playlist! Note: There are not currently links to the music because the links were not working correctly. I'll try to add the links later. For now, try checking out the songs you never heard on YouTube or Pandora if possible. <BR> <BR> ... Fri, 2 Oct 2015 06:48:30 EST Obesity and Anorexia http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6005345 Everyone knows obesity is a problem. Most people refuse to admit that there are many reasons that contribut to obesity but that won't be discussed today, Today, it will be looked at from the emotional eating aspect. <BR> <BR> People get stressed, lonely, angry, tired, bored. There's something that is bothering them or maybe many problems they are dealing with. Some people turn to stuff that makes them feel better. A movie, music, religion, maybe a friend or just a brisk walk in the park. Wh... Mon, 28 Sep 2015 07:00:49 EST A message for food pushers! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6004766 Dear Food Pushers, <em>471</em> <BR> <BR> You have a lot of nerve trying-no insisting that we eat whatever it is you are pushing us to eat. Nobody has to eat something because: <BR> <BR> 1. You made it. Great. That's awesome. I'm sure it's delicious or pretty good. I'm sure others will rave and rant about it. Your effort isn't going unnoticed or unappreciated. Some stomachs just aren't rumbling or some stomachs already had their calorie splurge this week/month, etc. <BR> <BR> 2. Be... Sun, 27 Sep 2015 06:39:50 EST Too fat for a desk & a snob on the same day....but that's okay because.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6004223 So, I reached that dreaded point where there was just no way I would fit into a desk. Even the tall students complain about them. It's so embarrassing to not just be able to sit wherever you want. It's also awful to try to choose your classes based off of which classes have tables and chairs but I didn't do that this year <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> It's not just from bad eating habits. Thyroid issues play into it. For those of you that don't know, 5 years ago, I began feeling unwell. Lots of hyp... Sat, 26 Sep 2015 02:47:03 EST 5 Autumn Goals + planning for next blog & your input http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6002536 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/04b53559-b7f1-4174-bb63-f95f1b977ef3.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Get sleep on track. This is going to be the most challenging goal. <em>102</em> <em>102</em> <em>102</em> <em>102</em> <em>102</em> <BR> <BR> Exercise regularly. I have been wanting to exercise and I enjoy it but depression is seeping the actual getting the goal done right from me! Even if I have to dance like nobody's watching away from the world, then I'll just have to dan... Wed, 23 Sep 2015 07:49:10 EST A Stressful situation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6002227 So, I go to school on a quarter system. It's taking me a bit longer than most since the medical issues sometimes force me to drop down to part time status. That's not what's stressful. Quarters=10 weeks. Semesters=5 months. Whoever had the idea to put a schedule on the quarter system is not someone I'm fond of! <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> This winter I took a class. It was an experimental psychology class. Hated every minute of it. Should have known it was going to be a disaster when the inst... Tue, 22 Sep 2015 18:00:29 EST Dear Ice Cream http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6001144 Dear Ice Cream, 🍦 <BR> <BR> It's late and your calling out to me! Your packaging so beautiful <BR> And alluring but I know I shouldn't go. You're sweet and appealing...for a moment but then you turn angry and seek revenge. <BR> <BR> You know the vengeance that I'm talking about, the lactose that's no good for me and the lbs you add to my body, making it unhealthy. 💀 <BR> <BR> Dear ice cream, you are not God. You have NO power over me! This will have to be our break up song.🎶 You... Mon, 21 Sep 2015 00:58:42 EST Keeping up with blogs/adding friends http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6000523 Hi guys! Tomorrow, I really am looking forward to catching up on your blogs. I try to read all of them but sometimes, just end up reading and/or replying to the blogs to the right of my page. <BR> <BR> As for adding friends, there are times when I swear I added someone but didn't and I figure if they comment on a few of my blogs or stop by my page, then they most likely didn't remove me. <BR> <BR> What I am really trying to say is I add everyone who adds me because you can never have too ... Sat, 19 Sep 2015 23:47:34 EST For asthmatics everywhere! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6000072 Hello everyone! I had a different blog planned but this really needs to be addressed. <BR> <BR> So, we all know asthma is not a joke despite the countless television shows that try to convince us otherwise. Good thing some of us have a sense of humor. <BR> <BR> Now onto the serious side. Just ask an asthmatic or someone with breathing problems how terrifying it is when you cannot breathe. Everyone knows it's serious and incredibly dangerous. Although that isn't new information, there are ... Sat, 19 Sep 2015 06:08:21 EST The truth about fat shaming http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5994521 There was a YouTube video that went viral earlier this week. It received a lot of backlash. You guessed it. It was about fat shaming by a woman who really doesn't matter in any of our lives. I'm not writing about her but just the topic of fat shaming. <BR> <BR> We get angry at people for making others feel ashamed and humiliated but the truth about fat shaming is that the majority of us fat shame ourselves constantly, maybe even every day. <em>15</em> <BR> <BR> It doesn't help when oth... Thu, 10 Sep 2015 02:18:48 EST That's not good advice.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5987183 <em>41</em> <BR> <BR> <BR> The bad advice =Weigh yourself every day. <BR> <BR> Why it is bad advice: It can be extremely discouraging. That sounds like a bad reason to coin getting on the scale every morning as bad advice but it's easy to become obsessed with numbers and not progress. Making on healthy choice slowly begins to make a chain reaction, you make a healthy choice so then you make another healthy choice. <BR> <BR> What happens next is you get on the scale and then you get ... Sun, 30 Aug 2015 02:58:11 EST First day back at the gym after months http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5983559 A while ago, I got an injury that caused excruciating pain for months but today, I wanted to go to the gym. Actually, I wanted to go for a while but didn't bring myself to it until tonight. Plus, today was finally the day I felt well enough. <BR> <BR> Returning to the gym is intimidating. 👀The anticipation is the worst. Beyond that, it was fine. It was a bit crowded but instead of leaving, I just focus on details like that woman has blonde, curly hair. That guys shoes are black and green... Mon, 24 Aug 2015 02:03:38 EST The doctor..... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5983052 On Friday, I was up early and spent time getting ready to go to the specialist. I was about to walk out of the door and then emotions took over and I ended up not even going. When you are told by so many doctors to lose weight and eat just eat nothing but vegetables, your standards for other doctors start slipping away. I know the doctor deserved a fair chance but I don't know what came over me. <BR> <BR> I could kick myself for not going. Now I might have to wait months but it's my own fau... Sun, 23 Aug 2015 08:55:06 EST Doctors are bad news.....(some of them anyway!) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5981346 On Friday, I am suppose to go see a reproductive endocrinologist because the other specialists decided that might be best. <BR> <BR> The first endocrinologist I ever saw was when I was 21 and he was such a jerk! He told me nothing was wrong and that calories don't "come from the air." I told him he was an a$$ and to get out so I could get dressed. He said he would only run two tests and his office staff was rude when it came to calling. <BR> <BR> Then, I told my PCP and she said "What do ... Thu, 20 Aug 2015 08:05:37 EST Body shaming, plus size youtubers and clothes! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5977661 Good morning everyone! <BR> <BR> Today, I want to talk about body shaming. Everyone gets body shamed, thin or fat and it's ridiculous. Overweight people do not need to be told that it's unhealthy to have extra weight but that's not the main problem. The main problem is people thinking that overweight people shouldn't feel happy or confident and they should just live in shame until they're healthy or ideal. <BR> <BR> Part of health is having good mental well being and that includes confid... Fri, 14 Aug 2015 06:16:50 EST Staying optimistic despite weight gain http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5974018 Hey everyone! Hope your path to health is going well! <em>41</em> <BR> <BR> Speaking of health, there is so much I need to do to work on mine. There has been pain and other stuff that got in the way but It's time to begin trying again. <em>474</em> <BR> <BR> First of all, the weight is not where I want it to be. It's funny because when you are 20 pounds or 40 pounds lighter, you think that nothing is working and you just wish you could lose that 20 or 40lbs. Then you may gain weight... Sat, 8 Aug 2015 06:28:46 EST Falling off/Getting back on the wagon! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5879825 First of all, I am sorry I haven't been keeping up with blogs and progress. It wasn't intentional. Hope you are all doing well! <BR> <BR> Somehow, I fell off of the wagon and really hitting the ground wasn't and has not been pretty! Part of it was not caring to be around too many people. Another aspect was having health issues makes more than just health a difficulty. For example, my sister would always put a lot of pressure on me to go at a certain time and since I am unable to drive (not ... Sat, 21 Feb 2015 09:47:55 EST November, weight frustrations. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5813727 Can't believe November is here! It's not cold here but people are sick.mSo glad I got the flu shot. <BR> <BR> There is good news and bad news. The good news is that I am not diabetic and currently am not anemic (barely). <BR> <BR> The bad news is my weight is not going anywhere. It has went up and it's really upsetting. A friend of mine is diabetic and she eats bad stuff. She has been making frequent trips to the campus Starbucks and getting a drink that is saturated in carbs and sugars b... Sun, 9 Nov 2014 17:38:49 EST Anxiety http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5780897 I have been really trying to not have so much anxiety. Sometimes, it works and sometimes, it doesn't. Talk about trying everything. Chamomile, green tea, passionflower, etc. of course, I have tried more conventional treatments too. One medication that I wouldn't recommend to anyone and another one that does help but not always. Well, medicine isn't a miracle worker. There are also mindful meditation techniques and deep breathing. I guess it helps sometimes but not always. Also, avoiding caffe... Tue, 16 Sep 2014 10:08:40 EST Just rambling http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5780101 There is less than 2 weeks before classes start. I am not a happy camper about it either. I should be looking a little forward to my classes but the only thing I hope is that the guy who always smiles is in at least one of my classes. <BR> <BR> My sleep is all backwards and I have a little bit of pain in my back. I tried going to the gym early on Sunday but had to leave after 35 minutes. Didn't sleep the night before. Oh well. It was too hot and this was a bad week for getting to the gym. I... Mon, 15 Sep 2014 07:23:24 EST The plan & puppy update. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5773084 The plan: <BR> 1. Keep a food journal. Track all calories. More importantly, keep track of carbohydrates. <em>475</em> <BR> <BR> 2. Keep away from dairy and wheat ( because of likely food allergies, not to restrict. <em>4</em> <BR> <BR> 3. Cardio and weight training a minimum of 4 days per week. <BR> <em>23</em> <BR> <BR> 4. Get sleep on track. This should be number 1. It is the first priority. <BR> <em>102</em> <BR> <BR> 5. Write 3 positive things that happen every day... Thu, 4 Sep 2014 06:10:48 EST Everyone belongs in the gym! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5767850 No matter what size you are, you belong in the gym. It doesn't matter if you weigh 100 lbs or 500 lbs. Don't allow others to make you feel uncomfortable while working toward your goals! Unfortunately, there will always be jerks but if they have a problem with your presence at the gym, your body or anything about you, that us THEIR issue, not yours. The purpose of a gym is not just for fit people to stay fit or thin people to stay thin. <em>315</em> <BR> <BR> Luckily, there are some reall... Wed, 27 Aug 2014 06:57:52 EST New puppy http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5764675 <em>338</em> I am trying to get a pic of the new puppy up but it keeps appearing upside down! She can get on kitchen chairs herself and she is a ball of energy. She is mostly black with some white. I can't wait until I can get the pic right! <BR> <BR> :) Fri, 22 Aug 2014 04:46:51 EST Stuff I hate! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5763375 Nothing seems to help my thyroid issues. No matter how healthy I eat, how much I cut down or how intense my workouts are. The doctors frustrate me even more. I shouldn't have to feel nervous or worry about going. If the blood tests show up normal than it's my fault. Plus the PCOS. It just makes me want to scream. It's like your emotions become a hurricane. I used to be okay with my body before these issues. Now, I wish I could be where I was at before with my weight. Before these stupid issue... Wed, 20 Aug 2014 07:41:31 EST New scale! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5759405 Thanks for all your comments on my previous blog!! Bought a new scale. I like the Taylor brands and this one has a wide platform. I had a Taylor scale before and it lasted for 7 years. I have a health-o-meter one but it's all over the place. <BR> <BR> Of course, my weight is something to work on because the number is nowhere where I want it to be but I have been going to the gym and am working hard so I am excited to see the numbers go down. <BR> <BR> There was a girl and dad at the gym a... Thu, 14 Aug 2014 07:01:09 EST Made my appointment... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5757893 Made my appointment and am waiting for test results for my thyroid. My appt is not until Sept. And I asked for the other doctor so we will see how it goes. I was in pain today but it subsided enough for me to go and workout. Now, if only those darn numbers on the scale would go down. <em>15</em> <BR> <BR> Mon, 11 Aug 2014 22:42:56 EST Thyroid problems http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5756703 Don't think my thyroid is doing so well. I just had blood work done and I have to make an appointment with the endocrinologist. He stresses me out. I maintained my weight for 4 years, even losing some and then in November, he blamed this condition on me! It took me a long time to get a diagnosis. I don't have access to my results this time around. Don't feel like explaining. I have gained a lot of weight since November because I quit exercising for a while. When the doctor blamed me, unfortun... Sun, 10 Aug 2014 05:30:36 EST Breaking up and making up with friends http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5755502 A couple months ago, I "broke up" with a friend. She expects me to just accept that she is always busy. She was very busy before she had a boyfriend ( now fiancé) and when I asked her a few questions, she couldn't give direct answers and just said she was "super busy." I have given her many chances over the years and every time I try to resolve a conflict, I end up being the villain. I got sick of it. She is going to have her hands full anyway. Her wedding is coming up in a few months, she wi... Fri, 8 Aug 2014 02:49:56 EST Summer http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5747626 <em>298</em> <BR> Wishing everyone a healthy summer! Don't forget sunscreen! <BR> <BR> <em>91</em> Drink plenty of water and make sure to stay hydrated! <BR> <BR> <BR> :) Sun, 27 Jul 2014 16:29:39 EST The worst medication ever! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5732731 This blog is about a medication that was suppose to help with depression and anxiety. Well, it didn't. It was awful. The problem is the doctor wanted to try mood stabilizers. The first one numbed me out and partially sedated me. My brain felt all tingly. I gained 8 lbs taking that so then the doctor wanted to try another mood stabilizer. Now, this medication works for so many people and that is wonderful but it was a nightmare for me. Personally, I feel the doctor was trying to treat a disord... Sat, 5 Jul 2014 21:07:23 EST Support isn't support anymore. Not even on SP. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5720298 Weight loss is about much more than shedding pounds. It's about emotions and going through roller coasters. Some people share more than others and that's fine. Some people share because it helps them. I have always been there for people who had depression and anxiety badly. I remember this one member (she has changed her Spark name a few times now. She hit all time lows with her depression and I was always there trying to give an encouraging word. When I felt bad, her comments were nowhere to... Wed, 18 Jun 2014 01:27:14 EST Finding the right counselor is hard!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5712372 Warning: This blog discusses god. Just letting you know in case you want to skip it. I believe and nobody can take that away from me! No rude comments either! <BR> <BR> I had a scary experience with asthma that scared me. In a way, it's a good thing because it made me more grateful but in a way, it's not such a good thing. Anyway, my counselor is leaving and she is trying to find someone else for me to work with. My one request is that they believe in God. It matters to me. Another counselo... Fri, 6 Jun 2014 21:55:33 EST Weight and a school& stuff http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5703378 NOTE: Ignore all of the grammar errors. When you are tired, it happens. :) <BR> <BR> <BR> I began taking some meds that were suppose to be weight neutral but I gained some weight. Weight that I worked hard to get off. It stinks but I will just have to try to get it back off. <BR> <BR> Dumb friends. I am tired of people not being as courteous to me as I have been to them. They are always "super busy." It's fun y because one of them was super busy but when a boyfriend came along, she had pl... Mon, 26 May 2014 09:18:35 EST Thank you! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5672374 Thanks to everyone who sent bday wishes!! :) Mon, 14 Apr 2014 21:55:35 EST Worries r getting to me today and it makes me feel a little selfish! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5662005 Worries are especially getting to me today. Tomorrow, I go back to school and have always doubted my choices. I am not good at the things that would be practical and worry that I am setting myself up for doom. It sounds so ridiculous out loud. I can be positive for an hour or a day or if I am luck, a week. It is so hard to deal with and explain to people who don't go through it. My friend is almost done with her classes and then will go into credential courses and become a teacher. We both a... Tue, 1 Apr 2014 18:46:20 EST People change + my new activity! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5659067 **WARNING: In this blog, God is discussed as are "signs." If you do not believe in those things, here is your chance to leave. I am warning you out of respect, not out of judgment. <BR> <BR> <BR> Earlier, I was missing my friends. Well, the friends they used to be. It's not the same anymore. It's a long winded story. Of course people change but I miss the long chats we used to have. <em>39</em> <BR> <BR> It's normal for people to change and for changes to occur in our lives but it's t... Sat, 29 Mar 2014 05:36:43 EST Time to get back on track!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5654330 I don't know how I fell off the wagon but I fell off and crashed into the ground while trying to treat anxiety and it's hard to get the train back on the tracks but here's to trying!! <BR> <BR> My plan: <BR> -sleep well <BR> -water , water, water <BR> - try to eat mostly natural things & avoid dairy (I am actually allergic to dairy, not just intolerant--allergic.) <BR> -workout by walking & hitting the gym <BR> -stress less---it solves nothing anyway!!! <BR> <BR> <BR> Reasons for wa... Sun, 23 Mar 2014 04:08:40 EST