RICOLA303's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=RICOLA303 RICOLA303's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ NSV! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5196210 I'm really bad at keeping up with SP, but I had a small victory on Sunday that I wanted to share. <BR> <BR> I had a sorority meeting that I had to wear black for, so I was looking for something to wear to church that I could also wear for the meeting. I found this black dress that I had taken from home about two years ago. It was way too big for my mom and way too small for me. When I tried it on, I couldn't even zip it at all. But I took it with me anyway in hopes of "someday" fitting into ... Tue, 8 Jan 2013 01:08:59 EST Ups & Downs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5103208 I've been really discouraged lately. LA Fitness is way too much for my budget, so I couldn't keep going there. And I've kinda fallen into some terrible eating-disordered behaviors. So I'm kinda feeling like a failure. <BR> <BR> But I hate when I'm in such a terrible, downer mood so I was really trying to find something positive in the middle of my pity party. And I realized that I have actually lost a lot of weight this year. Not nearly what I wanted it to be, but I made some huge steps. In... Thu, 18 Oct 2012 00:05:48 EST I joined a gym today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5004055 I ran into a guy who works at LA Fitness the other day and he said he'd hook me up with a week free to come check out the gym. It's about 5 minutes from my new apartment, and I've been wanting to do something great for me. So I decided to go for it. <BR> <BR> I'm really excited. I know I've been needed something to give me an extra kick and they offer everything I need to be successful. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> I think this is a great way to start a new life. Mon, 6 Aug 2012 20:38:02 EST I started C25K over again http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4947041 Tomorrow I'll be doing w1d2. In order to motivate myself, I've decided that when I complete the program, I'm going to buy myself a North Face jacket. I need a new jacket anyway, and I've been wanting a north face for forever. So now I have to finish C25k so I can get one. <BR> <BR> I'm really excited! Fri, 29 Jun 2012 00:00:20 EST NSV!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4947018 I rarely seem to have any sort of victory at all, I was excited when I realized this one. <BR> <BR> Two summers ago, one of my sorors and I, with one of the other students did walk away the pounds 5 days a week... By the end of the summer, I was barely able to finish the workout so I rarely did the whole thing. <BR> <BR> The other day, me and the same soror did the same workout. I breezed through it. It was still a good workout, but it was nowhere near as hard for me. Not finishing the hou... Thu, 28 Jun 2012 23:36:54 EST Rewards :) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4944099 I'm FINALLY getting the hang of this reward thing. It's just really hard for me to reward myself. It feels so self-indulgent. But I'm learning not to be so self-deprecating (word of the month, lol) and just let myself enjoy life more. So it came to me today as I was dancing around like a maniac (iced coffee at 11pm is NOT a good idea. Lesson learned.). So I have a list of things I can use as rewards for reaching goals... and none of them are food related. That's the stupidest thing I do, trea... Wed, 27 Jun 2012 03:14:40 EST 5 pounds??? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4944091 PMS sucks. I gained 5 pounds this week. After finally losing the weight I gained since my miscarriage. I could NOT stop eating. And when I'm like that, I have to try to just choose healthier foods rather than trying to avoid eating because I constantly have to fight eating disordered tendencies. <BR> <BR> Wednesday is my sleeping in day, generally. But tomorrow I'm getting up and taking my behind to the track and running. And the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after tha... Wed, 27 Jun 2012 02:24:45 EST I finally stepped on the scale today... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4906586 <em>39</em> <BR> Not good. First time I weighed myself since the miscarriage. Trying not to be too hard on myself, but it's so frustrating. I gained 6 pounds since the last time I weighed myself. It feels insurmountable. <BR> <BR> But I am not going to wallow in my despair. I know I can do it. It's time for me to push myself some more.... I'm ready to really get this weight off. Thu, 31 May 2012 22:26:47 EST I'm a college graduate! *pics* http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4896292 I just figured out how to add pictures, so here's a pic of me with some of my sorors at graduation: <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/2/l227124113.jpg"> <BR> <BR> And the pink and green (and orange) shoes that I bought that always brighten my day: <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/6/4/l645068086.jpg"> Thu, 24 May 2012 14:34:01 EST *Positive Update* http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4873320 My last post was too depressing, so I decided to follow up with something a little happier. So I have two wonderful things to share. <BR> <BR> 1) I bought the beautiful pink & green pumps from DSW that I wanted in March. They are beautiful... if I knew how to add pictures, I'd show them. I'll try to figure that out later. <BR> <BR> 2) My college graduation is THIS SATURDAY!!!!!! It's been a loooonnnggggg time coming. I'm so excited to walk across that stage! Wed, 9 May 2012 01:32:16 EST Feeling like a failure. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4873316 I am seriously struggling these days. <BR> <BR> My weight is way up. It feels like the end of the world. I've been so stressed this semester, all I've been doing is eating. I haven't even bothered creating any sort of goals because I knew I wouldn't reach them. <BR> <BR> Part of me knows that I'm being too hard on myself. I had a miscarriage less than two months ago that was devastating for me both physically and emotionally. But I am still frustrated. I should have lost so much more weigh... Wed, 9 May 2012 01:29:46 EST March Goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4773363 Fitness Goals: <BR> Dance for 20 mins/day <BR> 500 fitness minutes <BR> Learn the Beyonce Move Your Body dance <BR> <BR> Personal Goals: <BR> Read Redeeming Love <BR> Finish Monster <BR> Buy the beautiful Pink and Green pumps from DSW (I never buy myself nice things like that) <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Some of these are repeats from last month... I wasn't as successful as I'd like, but I don't want to give up on them either. Tue, 6 Mar 2012 09:40:21 EST February Goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4719739 1) 500 Fitness Minutes <BR> 2) Learn the "Move Ya Body" dance (Dancing is great exercise and always makes me feel better when I'm sad) <BR> 3) Six glasses of water a day minimum <BR> <BR> Personal goals <BR> 1) Keep my hair done <BR> 2) Read Monster <BR> 3) Find two new suits for conferences Fri, 3 Feb 2012 03:14:17 EST January Goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4651281 1) Keep up with the C25K plan <BR> 2) Add strength training to my workout(I'll be more specific for this later) <BR> 3) Six glasses of water a day minimum <BR> <BR> Personal goals <BR> 1) Finish my Incomplete for school <BR> 2) Send one card per week to someone- a soror, friend, family member, etc <BR> 3) Decorate my office at school <BR> <BR> <BR> And as far as rewards go, I am going today to buy a jar or something to put a dollar in every time I finish a scheduled workout. I haven't dec... Mon, 2 Jan 2012 13:16:17 EST I'm back... again http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4651089 I'm back from my run... Day 1 of the Couch 2 5k plan. It snowed last night, but I went anyway... and I feel great now. <BR> <BR> I've been away since school started. Not because I was busy, but because things were just... awful. Binging/purging like crazy... just not dealing with stress very well. I didn't weight myself for months... I was so sure I'd gained 20 pounds or so. I was exercising sporadically, but nothing that would really achieve anytihng. So I stayed away. <BR> <BR> I started ... Mon, 2 Jan 2012 12:03:33 EST Wow, I've been gone a while... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4650253 I didn't realize it'd been so long. <BR> <BR> Anyway, I'm just posting this to break the ice a bit. It's nearly 2am and I'm going running in the morning, so I need to get to sleep. <BR> <BR> When I get back in the morning, I will post a real update and my goals and whatnot for this month/year. Mon, 2 Jan 2012 01:59:37 EST Rewards? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4416993 {I'm a serial blogger} <BR> <BR> I am kinda close to my highest weight ever. I was thinking about taking an official "before" picture. For a couple reasons. 1) for motivation 2) to have for when i reach my goal(and I will!) and 3) because I need to be able to see my progress in ways other than the scale. <BR> <BR> I think one of the reasons I have such a hard time is because I never reward myself. I don't even know how to, really... without using food, that is(as was the custom growing up).... Tue, 9 Aug 2011 16:23:23 EST Today is pretending to be a Monday(ED Post) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4416778 The sole purpose of this post is to waste a lot of time. I ate a donut because my grandma came with a bunch and caught a major attitude when I said I didn't want any. It shouldn't have been that big of a deal, the amount of calories in that one donut is probably around the amount I'll burn in my workout today(Yay Tae Bo!). But it was such uneccessary junk food that it threw me into panic mode. I did stop eating after just the one(huge accomplishment... usually stuff like that triggers a whole... Tue, 9 Aug 2011 14:13:49 EST Rekindling my love affair with Billy Blanks http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4415021 I found a bunch of Tae Bo dvds from back before my mom got sick. I did the believer's workout today and had a blast... and I feel awesome after completing it. I think I'll stick with Tae Bo for a while. Mon, 8 Aug 2011 17:43:39 EST I finally stepped on the scale... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4414567 I gained. I knew that I had seeing as my summer has been so focused on food... binging/purging and whatnot. But it wasn't as bad as i expected. Less than ten pounds. But still... ugh. <BR> <BR> So I am setting some healthy goals for this month and figured I'd be more likely to reach them if I shared them publicly. So here they are: <BR> <BR> 1) Log 500 fitness minutes in August <BR> 2) Stay within my calorie allowance... which means eating enough and not restricting <BR> 3) Make a list of 1... Mon, 8 Aug 2011 13:49:56 EST One day at a time... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4414531 When I get back to school, I've promised myself I am going to accept the help that was offered to me last semester. Last night, I was laying in bed and for some reason the voice of the professor that confronted me rang in my head: "If you continue on this way, you WILL die." I didn't really care at the time and I pushed her away. But that thought terrifies me now. I know that it's true... and I don't want to just let that happen. One of my goals on my "bucket list" is to live life on purpose... Mon, 8 Aug 2011 13:31:52 EST I am every type of failure http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4374909 I haven't been on the scale in forever. I know I had to have gained weight. I'm starting to think that I am never going to be able to do this. I know that I NEED to lose weight, to be healthy. But when I try, something happens and I end up trapped in a world of binging/purging. I've been doing it almost daily for weeks now. I curse the day I even found out what purging is. I think I will be stuck in this cycle forever. <BR> <em>39</em> Wed, 20 Jul 2011 12:32:27 EST I'm back! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4307626 I have been away from SP for about two weeks due to the fact that I had to come home(practically kicking and screaming... school has become "home" to me) and haven't had much computer time. I haven't lost any weight, but I haven't gained any either, so I guess that's okay. <BR> <BR> Eating at home is a major struggle. No one cooks here so it's microwave or take out. I am the only one who will cook and I HATE cooking, so it's been an adjustment. But instead of giving in to the unhealthy nonse... Sat, 18 Jun 2011 23:19:58 EST So much for that http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4252217 I am feeling so hopeless right now. I ate well, had a great workout with my sister and friend. I was ready to head to bed. <BR> But something inside me just snapped tonight and I had a crazy binge/purge session. I didn't want the food, I just wanted to be able to purge. <BR> <BR> I'm so frustrated... I am never going to get any better or reach my goals. <BR> <BR> <em>24</em> Mon, 23 May 2011 23:39:39 EST I'm excited!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4248811 I am, for probably the first time in my life, really excited about getting healthy and fit, and getting more into exercise. It doesn't have to be about food all the time, I can get healthy and have fun! I love working up a sweat now! <BR> <BR> This is huge, because I have always just restricted heavily or purged to lose weight. I'm taking some BIG steps in the right direction! Sun, 22 May 2011 12:53:19 EST Two Weeks http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4248184 I just realized that I have binged or purged in over two weeks. That is HUGE for me! I was really afraid of using the SP food tracker because I thouht that the numbers would trigger my ED. But so far, so good. I'm so proud of myself. I hope it keeps going! Sun, 22 May 2011 02:11:03 EST Curves.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1282800 I got weighed and measured on Wednesday. Bleh. <BR> <BR> I'm down 5 pounds, 4 inches, and 0.7% body fat. <BR> Big whoop. <BR> <BR> I'm so annoyed because that's sooo little in a month. I almost had a panic attack after being measured. <BR> <BR> I am so close to just deciding that this whole "healthy" thing is a dumb way to lose weight. Fri, 20 Jun 2008 12:38:21 EST This is *hard* http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1272288 Man... this whole being healthy thing is a killer. Knowing that I am slowly losing weight is triggering for me. I feel so incompetant losing at such a slow pace. I *know* that I could to it so much better if I let my ED take control. And right now... its so hard. Mon, 16 Jun 2008 00:28:23 EST Ugh... McDonalds http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1270553 (took out a mailbox... then a fence... then a barn... the police came and called my father... but i met the farmer's daughter) <BR> <BR> I went out with my family this afternoon and we ended up at McDonalds. After just comign back from clothes shopping(which is always upsetting to me), I was feeling pretty low, so I figured, whatever... i'd just get anything. Sooo I got a fish meal and a double cheeseburger with the intention of giving my sister teh fish sandwich. She ate half the fish and I... Sat, 14 Jun 2008 22:52:55 EST