REVIVINGFAITH's SparkPeople Blog REVIVINGFAITH's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community We All Struggle Logged into Spark for the first time in a few months today and started checking up on some of the people in my friend feed. To my surprise, someone who I thought definitely had it together has begun struggling and fighting a hard battle against herself. I say that not to imply in any way that she should feel guilty or that I am better than that; merely I took notice of the lesson that we all have our demons to conquer. <BR> <BR> So many times in my life I have unfavorably compared myself to... Sun, 25 Nov 2012 23:02:15 EST Back in the (Vegan) Saddle again Wow it's been a while. I'm overwhelmed knowing where to start, and honestly I'm not sure how much time I have for community interaction these days, but here's a little update. <BR> <BR> - I stayed at 135 for a while, meaning that I permanently lost about 3lbs from the time I started Sparking again last Jan. <BR> - I choose water and unsweetened tea most often now at restaurants, and only drink soda once or twice a month <BR> - My exercise is still not very steady and sometimes drops off com... Sun, 30 Sep 2012 10:57:51 EST Doing Vegan This Week Well I took about 2 weeks off and now I think I am ready to make that final push toward the last 5lbs. What I loved about this time off was: <BR> <BR> 1) I barely had any cravings for junk because I did not feel deprived at all <BR> 2) I did not force myself to work out a certain number of times per week so when I got the urge to work out (2-3x/week at least), I really enjoyed doing it and gave it my all <BR> 3) I did not gain any weight. At one point I was at 131, then at another point I wa... Mon, 2 Apr 2012 12:55:12 EST Things I've Learned Well, I haven't been around spark that much the past week. I have been partially tracking my food and logging my exercise, but on Monday I woke up and I could just tell that my "obsession" with all this was over. <BR> <BR> What does that mean? I've written before about how my life goes in cycles. Something grabs my attention and I focus on it obsessively, to the point of driving myself and my husband crazy talking and thinking about it. It can be a new video game, a tv show, or sometimes it... Fri, 23 Mar 2012 15:26:44 EST The Climb Sure, Miley's another teen star with angst issues, but this song is great. Heard it on my way to work this morning and it seemed so relevant to what we face daily. Hope it inspires some of you! <BR> <BR> "The Climb" <BR> <BR> I can almost see it <BR> That dream I am dreaming <BR> But there's a voice inside my head saying <BR> "You'll never reach it" <BR> <BR> Every step I'm taking <BR> Every move I make feels <BR> Lost with no direction <BR> My faith is shaking <BR> <BR> But I gotta keep ... Thu, 15 Mar 2012 08:26:05 EST Happy DST, Sparkers! Unlike a lot of people, I love DST. I love not having the sun in my eyes as I squint to see the stoplights on my morning commute. I love still having 2 hours of daylight left when I get home in the evening. And I love the warmer temperatures. My body even does pretty well on the spring ahead time schedule; this morning at 5 AM I was wide awake. Not out of bed mind you, but awake <em>20</em> . <BR> <BR> Today is the first full day of my 10 Weeks to New Orleans plan. Yesterday I got groceries... Mon, 12 Mar 2012 08:59:09 EST Great Outdoors > Gym Today I went to Crowders State Park, about 20 miles from my home in Charlotte, for a Saturday morning hike. A friend of mine told me about the mountain and how much fun she had hiking it with her boyfriend. <BR> <BR> Last night before bed I told Bradley I was going hiking. He didn't say much... I think he was hoping it was just something I was saying, as I am apt to do, and would forget about it or change my mind in the morning. But morning came and I had not forgotten about it. I have wante... Sat, 10 Mar 2012 18:08:39 EST 10 Weeks to New Orleans A few days ago, Bradley and I booked our summer vacation. We are going to New Orleans! I am so very excited. I have been once before, over ten years ago, and I fell in love with the city. I am absolutely thrilled to be going back. <BR> <BR> Not gonna lie, I had a really bad week last week. Sure I had hormones but I can't blame it all on that. I just... wanted to give up. To stop measuring everything so closely. Somehow I've got to learn to deal with the blues I get at least once a month. For... Fri, 9 Mar 2012 20:22:37 EST My Mantra for Today I am not the only one feeling this way. <BR> <BR> I can make better choices. <BR> <BR> I may have gone backwards but I am not back at the starting line. <BR> <BR> I can learn to include nourishment and fitness as part of my life and still have energy for other things. <BR> <BR> I can choose to ignore the confusion and conflicting information and just focus on what I know is right for my body. <BR> <BR> I can learn to be patient with myself. I can decide not to give up on myself. <BR> <B... Thu, 8 Mar 2012 10:32:49 EST Hell Week Since I started keeping track, I have noticed that the second week after my period is always horrible. I have started thinking of it as hell week. During hell week, I get so many cravings for junk food and my energy levels drop. My mental state is usually kind of fuzzy too. I'm at the start of it now, and just ate a way-too-big lunch of all the worst things... Still in my calories for today if I eat a tiny dinner (which I will probably not be hungry by then), but as far as feeding my body goe... Tue, 6 Mar 2012 13:12:45 EST Tame Your Sweet Tooth Challenge - personal reasons These are my personal reasons for wanting to "Tame My Sweet Tooth." Ongoing as I come up with them. <BR> <BR> 1) want to learn to fill the gap in my diet with nutritious foods, not empty calories <BR> 2) want to maintain my weight and keep the 8lbs I've lost off for good <BR> 3) Want to feel in control of myself, rather than having my cravings control me, so that when I do indulge, it is mindfully and purposefully Mon, 5 Mar 2012 22:21:13 EST Goal Weight? Lately I have been considering whether I should continue trying to lose more weight, or just keep focusing on building muscle. Once I hit 130, it took me about 2 and a half weeks to move down to 129, but then I quickly went back up to 130. Over the weekend I got down to 129.2, my lowest weight since January (I had been 129.8 before), but now I am back to 130.6. Obviously I know that the difference between that can be hydration, swollen muscles, etc. <BR> <BR> It seems to me though that my b... Mon, 5 Mar 2012 08:29:13 EST RAWR! Inspired by the weather and several of my Spark friends who are nearing completion with their C25K, I decided it was time to get back into the outdoor cardio. (Yes I know, I was supposed to have started earlier this week but that didn't happen. Irrelevant!) <BR> <BR> After I put on my new workout leggings from Old Navy and finding that they fit me better than they did last Saturday, I was fueled with a burst of confidence. I put on my black sports bra and decided it was warm enough not to we... Fri, 2 Mar 2012 18:47:00 EST Tame Your Sweet Tooth Challenge - cravings log I am doing the SP Official Tame Your Sweet Tooth Challenge and one of the action steps is to record my cravings for this week. So this will just be an ongoing blog to document all that. <BR> <BR> 3/2/2012 11:38 AM - about 20 minutes before lunch. Reading facebook and the thought all of a sudden popped into my mind for something tasting like a graham cracker. Craving rating 4/10. <BR> <BR> 3/2/2012 3:32 PM - had a thought pop into my head about Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream. Working on a report ... Fri, 2 Mar 2012 11:39:41 EST Just to Vent I think I'm going to try to follow the Spark People meal plans for a while. I swear these mind games I play with myself make me miserable. I go a few days feeling proud of my progress, hopeful, and then the winds change and I go a few days being unmotivated and gloomy. <BR> <BR> I posted in the message boards about carb tapering the other day and someone pointed out to me that I am eating a lot of sugar. I know that's true. I started eating greek yogurt everyday, sometimes twice a day, to t... Wed, 29 Feb 2012 20:54:27 EST Not the Epiphany I'm not even really sure I actually had one, now. You know how your body needs days off of exercising to rebuild muscle and come back stronger? I think that's what my mind needs from thinking so hard about all of this. A day or two to just... live my life and not think about food or fitness. Hopefully it will restore me, and not be the straw that breaks the camel's back. Tue, 28 Feb 2012 22:40:27 EST The Ups and the Downs Life is like a roller coaster ride, isn't it? Climbing hills followed by weightless free falls. <BR> <BR> The ups: <BR> I had a soda last night and it didn't even taste good to me. I didn't want to finish it, and I didn't. It was a low-calorie soda, too. I had another one a few days ago and was surprised at how much better it tasted than I used to remember low calorie sodas doing. Usually I can never drink anything but full calorie soda. I can only imagine how nasty that would probably tast... Tue, 28 Feb 2012 08:16:44 EST Stop Kidding Myself February is almost at a close and since I've run into a wall, I decided to run some Spark People reports to compare this month to last month. It wasn't good news. <BR> <BR> Fitness Minutes - <BR> January: 789 <BR> February (so far): 572 <BR> <BR> Average calories for the month - <BR> Jan: 1270 <BR> Feb: 1442.87 <BR> <BR> Average Fat consumption - <BR> Jan: 35.44 <BR> Feb: 47.44 <BR> <BR> Avg Carb intake - <BR> Jan: 119.24 <BR> Feb: 166.06 <BR> <BR> Water consumption goal - <BR> Jan: met... Sun, 26 Feb 2012 11:37:39 EST Body Rock Ass Fire Beginner Level Did this workout tonight. I'm finally ready to start posting my numbers. I haven't looked at others' numbers, don't want to compare myself, but it took a few days to get up the confidence. Whatever they are on a given day, I hope to see improvement in the future, even by just a few reps. <BR> <BR> So for the beginner level of Ass Fire I did: <BR> <BR> Prisoner Squat Jumps <BR> 31, 19, 23 <BR> These were INCREDIBLY hard. For some reason, quad exercise always hurt me so much. <BR> <BR> Str... Thu, 23 Feb 2012 21:18:06 EST Weigh In I weighed myself this morning. I hadn't weighed since the 12th of this month, so that is almost two weeks ago. I'm the same weight I was then, 129.8. <BR> <BR> I have to say I'm a little disappointed. I was hoping to be at least to 128. I know this month hasn't been the best nutritionally, but I expected to see some movement after not eating out for two weeks. However, when I started trying to lose weight I did expect a plateau around 128 and probably another at 124. My grandmother's weight ... Thu, 23 Feb 2012 08:35:39 EST Too Ditzy for Body Rock? Tonight I did the Hot Warrior Body Rock, found here: <BR> <BR> <link><BR>or-workout/ </link> <BR> <BR> and I am still figuring out how to use my interval timer. The one I have has a rest period built in, so you don't need to set your rest to the "low interval," although it does have both high and low that can be set. So what I have to do is set the high to the workout phase, the low to 0:00, and the "set time" to the same amount of time as the workout... Tue, 21 Feb 2012 20:23:14 EST Lent Lately it seems the Universe has been sending me signals about the upcoming Lent. I am not Catholic so I have never observed it before but one of my spark teams has a Lent challenge going right now and a few of my friends have blogged about how they plan to prepare. When I saw the team challenge, I started thinking about what I could do and then honestly it snuck up on me since I don't attend church to hear the reminders about it. Well, it's tomorrow and I've made my decision about what I wan... Tue, 21 Feb 2012 09:17:44 EST A Culinary Phase Lately I have been getting really interested in cooking. Can't remember exactly how the thought popped into my head, but one day I decided I wanted a bread maker. I took some recommendations from friends and found one in my budget to purchase. It hasn't arrived yet but I have been daydreaming of all the awesome homemade breads I will make. I am so looking forward to being able to make my own whole wheat sandwich bread. Little by little I want to cut out as many processed foods as I can and th... Sun, 19 Feb 2012 16:50:00 EST Real food is the best food My breakfast? Homemade whole wheat waffle with frozen mixed berries warmed in the microwave until they formed a nice compote, and half a tablespoon of honey. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Pure Sunday morning bliss. Sun, 19 Feb 2012 10:38:04 EST Visit from the MIL Bradley's mother is in town. Usually when she comes to town, she mostly ditches us to spend time in the town she grew up where most of her family lives. Bradley hates that place (he lived there most of his life too and is not a small town kind of person), so we barely get to see her while she's here. This time though, after Bradley had a talk with her about how she always ditches him, she decided to spend the days there (while we're at work) and the nights here with us. Much better for him. <... Sun, 12 Feb 2012 22:09:20 EST Measurements and Cross Fit So I am getting to that point where I am bored with my exercises again. Man I need to switch it up sooo often. The living social deal yesterday was $30 for 12 beginner cross fit classes. I was really intrigued because I know people that go and they love it, but also really nervous... what if I am the least fit person there? What if I can't do some of the exercises and embarrass myself in front of the group? <BR> <BR> But I want to conquer my fears. I don't want insecurity to hold me back as... Sat, 11 Feb 2012 10:24:34 EST Quote from a SparkFriend "Addiction is addiction is addiction. It is too much of something we don't need which proves harmful to us and which we pursue beyond logic." - CANNIE50 <BR> <BR> Wow. This quote just stopped me dead in my tracks. If I were an alcoholic and I realized I was, what would I be doing to get away from alcohol and stop it from destroying my health? Why do I treat my food addictions any differently? TOO MUCH OF SOMETHING. That definitely applies. DON'T NEED. Yep, that applies too. "PURSUE BEYOND LO... Fri, 10 Feb 2012 11:38:40 EST Thanks, Universe This morning I faced my fear and stepped on the scale. After this week's disastrous behavior, I fully expected to see 2 or even 4lbs backward movement. Imagine my shock when I saw that the number was the exact same thing it was a week and a half ago - 130.8! I haven't gained any weight! I did a little happy dance into the shower, knowing I got lucky and with renewed desire to get back down to business. <BR> <BR> There are so many detour signs on this journey, it seems, but the universe is al... Thu, 9 Feb 2012 08:37:34 EST Eating Out... My Achilles Heel Ugh. Since last Thursday, almost a week now, I have been on a runaway train. I wanted to go to a barbecue place we like for supper, and although they are independent and don't post their nutrition info, I looked at the menu ahead of time and made up my mind what to order. But then when the waitress brought the hush puppies they always bring, I had wayyy too many. I intended to have about 2 and stop but I had a lot more than that. Well the meal was good but the next day I had a salty taste in ... Wed, 8 Feb 2012 13:23:04 EST Small Success of the Day Recently I have been noticing more and more "little" successes. Since the beginning of January I have lost 8lbs and that is a big success! But along the way there are other, smaller things that just make me smile. For example, I have recently noticed that: <BR> <BR> I can wear my belt on the second loophole now (a few months ago I stopped wearing one at all cause my belly could hold up my pants...) <BR> <BR> The underside of my thighs feel much less like jello than they have in quite a long... Fri, 3 Feb 2012 22:20:33 EST January Successes + February Goals January successes: <BR> Estimated Calorie Deficit: 12,379 <BR> Pounds Lost: 7 <BR> Days Under or In Calorie Range: 25 <BR> Times Exercised - <BR> Strength: 11 <BR> Cardio: 19 <BR> ~20 total days <BR> <BR> February Goals: <BR> <BR> 1) Make a daily schedule and stick to it at least 2 out of the 4 weeks <BR> 2) Track sodium and stay within recommended limits at least 4 of 7 days/week <BR> 3) Finish the Spring into Fitness Bootcamp challenge <BR> 4) When challenge ends, get on a more routine e... Wed, 1 Feb 2012 11:36:14 EST February Goals? Today has been hectic. <BR> <BR> My dip station came tonight. Found out I can do the pull-ups almost all the way up (at least one), and I can do the leg lifts with pretty much no problems, but I can't do a single dip, lol. Something to work toward I guess. <BR> <BR> I was trying to give some thought to what my goals for February should be. I feel my mind trying to push me to go faster than I should sometimes, I think. Burnout is still looming in the horizon. Sometimes I feel lucky that I h... Tue, 31 Jan 2012 21:32:17 EST To Rest or Not to Rest Tonight was the first night in a week and a half or so that I wasn't feeling my workout so much. I wanted to go on the run but Bradley sort of didn't, I had to talk him into it. It felt pretty good while we were out there but then when I realized I still had to do the spark bootcamp strength video when we came in, I balked. I did it but none too enthusiastically. <BR> <BR> I think I need a rest day but I'm scared because in the past, rest days have led to another rest day and then another un... Mon, 30 Jan 2012 22:19:45 EST Jan 30th - almost a month down! This has been the healthiest month I've had since last January when I did a vegan diet. But this is better because I've also been exercising, and I only kept to that diet for two weeks. The fewest times I've exercised in a week this month was two and last week I exercised every day! I'd like my schedule to be 5 deal breaker days with two optional days. The thing is that I'm starting to desire it rather than seeing it as a chore. I like that! <BR> <BR> I ordered my dips/pull ups/chin ups/push... Mon, 30 Jan 2012 08:14:12 EST From Lazy to Fabulous in 30 minutes Today when I woke up I intended to do a few things; go on my normal walk with Luna, maybe some yoga, my bootcamp videos... but as the day wore on I found myself getting more and more lazy. Then about an hour ago I realized I just felt icky. <BR> <BR> "It's because we've laid around all day," my husband said. And I knew he was right. So I suggested we take Luna and Lily to the park for a walk/jog. I wanted to see how Luna would do with more extended periods of jogging. <BR> <BR> Since I hav... Sun, 29 Jan 2012 18:21:19 EST Really Happy Today :) Today has been the best workout day I've had since starting this over again. I haven't done anything super intense but I did spend quite a bit of time. <BR> <BR> All day I was looking forward to coming home so I could do my yoga DVD. I bought it last year and I used to spend chilly spring Sunday afternoons doing it in my living room. It was very relaxing. Relaxation is just what I wanted after this week. <BR> <BR> When I came home, I knew Bradley wanted to play his guitar and I also knew ... Fri, 27 Jan 2012 21:37:30 EST This is MY Journey Thanks for all the comments people have been leaving on my blog. As I'm sure you can tell, I'm an emotional person. I have up days and down days, sometimes a few of each in a single week. But I am going to work through that. I am taking myself as I am. <BR> <BR> This morning I realized that what has kept me from being in shape these last couple of years is not because I don't work out hard enough or long enough. Maybe I would be in BETTER shape if I had done those things while I was on a fit... Thu, 26 Jan 2012 08:26:51 EST I have so much to learn... After years of reading tips in fitness magazines and going through various diets, losing a bit of weight and then putting it back on, I thought I knew what I needed to do to get fit. Workout an hour a day, eat fruits and vegetables and whole grains. Simple, right? <BR> <BR> Well I hope this is a sign that I am serious about getting and staying fit this time, but this time around it seems like it has been so confusing to me. <BR> <BR> After reading a lot of posts on the message boards I hav... Wed, 25 Jan 2012 21:38:54 EST Healthy Day! This morning I did something I never thought I'd do: I got up before 6am and took my dog on a 30 minute walk. You have to know me to know how much I love sleep, especially in a warm bed beside my husband, and how much I hate waking up on workdays. A month ago, I could barely drag myself out of bed at 6:40 just to rush around like a madman to get ready and dash out the door. Now I am waking up at 6, out of bed by 6:20 at the very very latest, and have plenty of time to get ready and spend time... Wed, 25 Jan 2012 10:25:52 EST New Game Plan After a couple of enlightening posts on the message boards in response to some of my questions, I have decided it is probably drinking so much water throughout the day at work that is suppressing my apatite to the point of under-eating. <BR> <BR> I am also to the point now of trying to meet my calorie burning goals. For the Spring Bootcamp, you have 30 mins of cardio a day. Spark says this means I should be burning around 700cals a week. Last night I decided that instead of running, we shou... Tue, 24 Jan 2012 15:05:21 EST 1/10th of a Pound... LoL I joined a weight loss challenge recently. I think it goes for 6 or 8 weeks. To stay in the running for the title of biggest loser you have to lose or maintain each week. If you gain, you're out (but you can still follow the challenge and get support from others). <BR> <BR> Two weeks or so ago I had a big drop in weight, 6lbs almost overnight. I knew it was just water weight because when I am not being health conscious I do not gt the right amount of water and probably stay somewhat dehydra... Tue, 24 Jan 2012 12:10:28 EST Reposted Link: "An Open Letter to the Fat Girl I Saw at Hot Yoga" A great blog post I read today. Here is a little excerpt: <BR> <BR> "Perhaps I should call you OTHER fat girl at Hot Yoga, as I was there too, easing back into my Fat Down Dog, forward to Fat Plank, then melting and pushing up to Fat Cobra, etc etc, all the way through my big fat hot Vinyasa flow. (This should be a movie—My Big Fat Hot Vinyasa Flow—I would SO go to see that.) <BR> <BR> Is it wrong that I am half in love with you? For being fat and at Hot Yoga? For shaving your legs and gett... Mon, 23 Jan 2012 19:58:59 EST Ready for my week! The last few days of last week were kind of cruddy. I can't really give a specific reason, I was just not feeling like myself. I was feeling pretty low about the whole diet/exercise thing. I stayed in my calorie ranges everyday except Saturday but I only exercised twice. <BR> <BR> But Saturday night I went out with some friends and had drinks. Too many drinks, in fact... I ended up staying the night over a friend's house. But even though I felt ill the next day and barely ate anything, it wa... Mon, 23 Jan 2012 12:39:00 EST Goal for next week: more whole foods Last few days have been pretty tough, mentally. I guess because two weeks is about the time frame my interest in fitness usually starts waining, and the cravings come calling. Also I was PMSing and now today started my period and that is by far the toughest part of the month for me, nutritionally and emotionally. <BR> <BR> I sort of feel like a sailboat going through a storm; your rudder gets turned around, you get off course, you might get a few holes in your sails. The ship hasn't started... Fri, 20 Jan 2012 20:28:39 EST Psychological Hangups to Exercise After talking with my coworker, who is a therapist, yesterday about my story about the marathon disaster when I was younger, she pointed out that the experience might be what had put me off to running. It's odd how we bury things deep in our subconscious, never knowing how they're affecting us. I can't definitively say that she is right but I can't say she's wrong either. <BR> <BR> And just now, looking at Tumblrs having to do with fitness, I noticed they always plaster a motivational quote ... Thu, 19 Jan 2012 12:32:18 EST The See Saw After the past two days of not being hungry and struggling to meet my minimum calorie requirements, today junk food is calling my name. I have a very small dinner planned and had a very small breakfast so I allowed myself to eat one slice of cheese pizza for lunch. Probably occupied the rest of my daily calories or close to it but at least I made some trade offs to get what I wanted. But then when I came back my coworker offered me these delicious no bake bites that have coconut, honey, peanu... Thu, 19 Jan 2012 12:18:26 EST Things That Are Motivating Me Today After yesterday's general crappy mood, I am counting some things that are pushing me ahead today: <BR> <BR> 1) I am wearing a belt today. I haven't worn a belt in a few months because it was so tight that it was uncomfortable. <BR> 2) The first places I lose weight are in my waistline and face. I can definitely see a difference in my body in those two areas. I need to focus on them and other changes that will come and realize it is going to take a while for my most stubborn areas to change,... Wed, 18 Jan 2012 12:22:04 EST Mixed Emotions Feeling so conflicted right now. It's a moment of weakness, maybe the first one I've had since I started this over again. <BR> <BR> The reason is because of being emotional right now I guess. My husband really upset me tonight. We had an argument over money. He is in the wrong so I know he is eager to move on but it's not that easy for me. So that us what made me start to feel crappy. When I got home I was more determined to run tonight than ever but when I was changing I looked in the mirr... Tue, 17 Jan 2012 19:06:34 EST NPR's ultimate workout mix Recently I've been wanting to add some extra songs to my workout playlist. NPR has been asking celebrities and athletes what their favorite songs to workout to are, in addition to taking suggestions from NPR listeners. They have compiled a long list of workout songs and are expanding it in the coming weeks. You can listen to it through the NPR player from the article. Here is a small sample of songs on it and a link to the full list: <BR> <BR> Cake, "The Distance" <BR> Cee-Lo Green, "Forget ... Tue, 17 Jan 2012 14:08:30 EST More Progress on the Home Gym and Adjusted Calorie Limits Yesterday I had a great idea. The Dr.'s office I work for used to employ a physical therapist, but after she left the practice her stuff was left behind. One of the things she had was a box of weights. There were a few medicine balls, a set of 8lb dumbbells, two other sets of 5 and 2lb dumbbells, and several soft weight straps filled with sand at different levels that can velcro to your arms or legs. It had just been sitting in my office taking up space for a while and then I thought, I'd lov... Tue, 17 Jan 2012 08:46:43 EST