REMEMBERINGME's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=REMEMBERINGME REMEMBERINGME's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ this "crud" is killing my workouts http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4178792 I've been congested/coughing/clogged nose since Friday evening. It wasn't too bad at first and I was able to just tone down my workout a bit BUT the last 2 days or so I've been miserable. I can't breathe. Running hurts my lungs. And I just don't feel like doing anything. Alas, I've still worked out but not to my fullest potential. Today though I woke up after a night of tossing and turning and coughing and draining and I feel HORRIBLE. So, it seems I may not be able to work out at all ... Wed, 20 Apr 2011 09:39:46 EST about a 5 day setback... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4171943 I'm back today..rededicated and ready to pick up where I left off. See, I spent the last 5 days in a downward spiral. The whole time I felt guilty and knew what I SHOULD be doing as opposed to what I was doing...but I couldn't pull myself out of it. The mounting stress on my shoulders tipped over the edge when my car broke down AGAIN for the second time in 2 months...and it wasn't cheap. Let's not forget to mention that we are currently living off one income because I have yet to find a j... Sun, 17 Apr 2011 14:23:09 EST I binged today :( http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4166742 My world fell all around me today. The last 8 weeks I have been doing great..eating right, working out, and really enjoying life. I have been a food addict for years, and until recently, had been totally out of control. Today I fell off the wagon. Food is a powerful drug and in my moment of weakness, I turned to it once again. 6 pieces of pizza, chocolate chip cookies, an Arby's 3 cheese and bacon Angus sandwich, curly fries, and cinnamon rolls and a few hours later, I am beating myself ... Thu, 14 Apr 2011 23:49:54 EST Ran my second 5k today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4161447 first 5k ever was 42:22 <BR> today's 5k time=41:18!!! <BR> Never in a million years would I have imagined myself a runner. I was obese, a couch potato, on 7 different medications for things like high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and diabetes. I ate fast food 5-7 times a week, sometimes twice a day. Just admit it..this sounds like you doesn't it? It's ok. I've been there. I'm not judging you. What I will say is this: you don't have to run. You can find something else you enjoy. W... Tue, 12 Apr 2011 19:11:29 EST I just jogged 2 miles without stopping!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4156034 I've said this before..when I started Spark 8 weeks ago, I clocked one mile at 25 plus minutes. I barely made that because my shins hurt and I was out of breathe. I wouldn't dare try more than one mile either and would have to take 2 or 3 days off to recoup after walking that mile. I enrolled in the Rookie Your Way C25K program that spark offers and today I started week 8. It's been a super long road for me and it hasn't been easy BUT today I was able to job for 2 miles without stopping n... Sun, 10 Apr 2011 16:47:42 EST No longer OBSESE!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4152685 I was pleasantly surprised when I stepped on the scale today! It said I was OVERWEIGHT!! I have never been so happy to be overweight but considering that I've been classified as OBESE for 5 plus years, I will take OVERWEIGHT any day! I lost another 2 pounds today for a grand total of 20!!! I beamed with pride and confidence today and couldn't be happier! The first 20 down, now on to the next 20 and going from OVERWEIGHT to NORMAL... Fri, 8 Apr 2011 21:43:04 EST Battling depression and burnout http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4149339 It's been 7 weeks. I started strong and I've stayed strong. Lately however I have been depressed and burned out. It's a stressful time for me. I am doing my last semester of college, I can't find a job and my money has run out. I'm a single mom of 2 teenagers and having to tell them we don't have money for things is so hard for me. I'm not giving up but I need some encouragement and quick. When I get down and depressed, I eat everything in sight. I'm trying really hard not to do that ... Thu, 7 Apr 2011 12:41:16 EST I feel like I'm cheating myself http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4145134 Exercise has become sort of routine for me. WHAT?! REALLY?! Did I really just say that? Yes, I did. I can't believe it myself either but it has. On days I don't work out, I feel like I am cheating myself. I know I know. My body does need a day of rest every now and then. So why do I feel so guilty about not working out? Today is an "off" day for me but I did get on the stationary bike for 30 minutes. I still feel like that isn't enough. I feel like I need to jump on the treadmill ... Tue, 5 Apr 2011 20:09:23 EST gearing up for my first 5k http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4142655 I admit that I am really nervous about running a 5k. I have never ran in my life..EVER. I'm overweight (obese) and up until 7 weeks ago, lived a very sedentary lifestyle. I am approximately 16 pounds lighter than when I first started which is good, but I am still considered obese. And when I started, I pushed out a mile in 25 minutes and there was NO WAY I could walk 3 miles at a time. So I've been doing Spark's rookie running 5k version similar to C25K but easier by far for people like ... Mon, 4 Apr 2011 21:37:30 EST starting to notice the changes in my appearance http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4139998 When I had lost 13 pounds, I was happy yet frustrated. I was so overweight that when I looked in the mirror, I couldn't see the 13 pound progress. Oh my how things have changed. I'm at about a 16-17 pound loss and no idea how many inches but I'm starting to notice the difference. Yes, at 13 pounds my clothes were baggy but again, when I looked in the mirror at myself with no clothes on, I couldn't tell. Today, that all changed. I examined myself for a long time and was overly excited ab... Sun, 3 Apr 2011 22:37:29 EST new mile time 14:34 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4131531 When I started the C25K roughly 6 weeks ago, my mile time was about 30 minutes. No way did I think I could get my time down but I embarked on the journey of C25K. All my life I had wanted to run a 5k or just run period but I was too scared or too overweight/out of shape. So I got the courage to just try. When I got my mile down to 22 minutes I was ecstatic and then again at 19. The day I hit 15:57 I about died, or at least it felt like it. I had pushed myself way too hard just to get a ... Thu, 31 Mar 2011 11:35:48 EST Go ahead! I won't get mad at ya! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4128186 "Resentment is letting someone live rent-free in your head. Forgiveness is handing that person an eviction notice". Such a powerful and true statement. I've had so much anger for so long it took over my life. It made me a mean, bitter, overweight person. Anytime I got mad, food calmed me down. Anytime I felt disappointed, food comforted me. And anytime I felt lonely, food was my friend. I let my anger toward others control my life so much so that I lost who I was. As the scale crept ... Wed, 30 Mar 2011 01:29:44 EST What am I doing wrong? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4111877 My weight loss has pretty much slowed to a crawl. I am so frustrated. Last week I had no loss and this week I lost one freaking pound! What the heck?! Do I eat ALL good ALL the time? No. I have a forbidden item maybe twice a week. Still, I am eating WAY better than before I started this journey. Secondly, I've been walking AND participating in the rookie 5k running challenge. I'm on week 6! So, I do that 3 days a week and most other days, I'm either on the treadmill for an hour or I... Wed, 23 Mar 2011 07:55:22 EST Feeling anxious about this week's weigh in http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4103821 My weekly weigh in isn't for another 4 days but it's ALL I can think about. After not losing any weight this last week, I am afraid of the same result for this week. I did everything right last week. I ate right. I exercised. And no result. I'm afraid that if I don't lose any this week, I will get really discouraged and possible give up. I don't want to increase my workout JUST so the scale will go down this week because I know I won't be able to keep that intensity up on an everyday b... Sat, 19 Mar 2011 21:47:45 EST "Healthy" meals at restaurants can be deceiving! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4101897 I blew it! We went to Logan's Roadhouse for dinner. I was excited because I knew I was going to make healthy choices. So, I ordered the grilled chicken breast, a house salad with ranch and my one splurge-loaded mashed potatoes. I thought that was a pretty good meal. Except, the salad comes and instead of ranch on the side it was already on top, which meant I couldn't control how much I ate of it. The rolls were sitting on the table and normally I eat 5-6 but I allowed myself 2. So, the... Fri, 18 Mar 2011 21:28:15 EST Not losing this week SUCKS http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4098016 And I don't need a lecture about how to measure success other than the scale (sarcasm here). <BR> I KNOW I've succeeded and have been measuring success those ways but let's just all be honest for a moment...when you spend a week working your butt off, pushing through the pain of bad knees, pushing through the feeling you want to throw up, and pushing through the "not today" attitude, you want to see that hard work pay off. That's normal. So I was dumbfounded when I stepped on the scale this... Thu, 17 Mar 2011 09:26:32 EST PEOPLE ARE NOTICING!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4090792 In one of my previous blogs I acknowledged my 13 pound weight loss and raved about how proud I was. One of the things that bothered me is that when I looked in the mirror, I didn't notice the 13 pound loss. And I still don't. BUT...on two different days last week and by 3 different people, I was told that THEY NOTICED I was losing weight. Now, only 1 of those people even knew I had been working out. The other 2 had no idea. It was such a wonderful feeling to hear from someone that they ... Mon, 14 Mar 2011 13:39:56 EST C25K Week 4 just completed http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4088750 What an accomplishment! Finally, I have stuck to something and for a full month no less! Today I feel extremely proud of myself. Having never been a runner and currently considered "obsese" taking on the C25K programs wasn't going to be easy and I knew that when I started. Honestly, I figured after a week or maybe two I would just give up. But it's amazing because once I started, I didn't want to stop. This has been an incredible journey for me and I love looking back and seeing where ... Sun, 13 Mar 2011 17:55:19 EST 13 pounds gone...wish I could see a difference http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4082794 Ok, I do notice my clothes fitting a little looser so it's not like I haven't seen a difference BUT the difference I am talking about is in the mirror. I'm so big that 13 pounds is not noticeable to the eye. I'm proud of my weight loss but until I actually SEE it, it won't be real. I'm hoping to see it soon because it's real discouraging not noticing it. Thu, 10 Mar 2011 21:50:10 EST I am no longer a prisoner of the 170's http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4078435 I weighed a day early this week because I'm moving my weigh in days to Wednesday's instead of the usual Thursdays partly because Thursday mornings are a little too hectic for me. Anyway, the scale greeted me with a HUGE surprise! My weight loss for the week was 2.9 pounds which put me at 169!!!!!! I haven't been 169 in years!!!!!!! Now, 169 for me is still OBESE so I have A LOT of work left to go BUT I am going to enjoy today, bask in the glow that being 169 has given me, and tell as man... Wed, 9 Mar 2011 09:55:22 EST Define "Slacker" http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4070473 I sure feel like a slacker this week. I have been so busy that I only got in 2 workouts. I guess that's better than none right? Anyway, for the most part I still ate healthy with the exception of 2 dinners and even then I didn't over indulge. In the end, I still had a 2 pound weight loss for the week. SO...the question is...am I really a slacker? I don't think so, not this week anyway. And to get back at myself for all the days I didn't work out last week, I just ran/walked 3 miles at ... Sun, 6 Mar 2011 13:14:07 EST Walking outside versus treadmill http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4052340 OK..I know that any exercise is better than no exercise but I noticed a difference today when I took my walking outside for a change. I've been walking and doing the first 2 weeks of Couch to 5k indoors on my treadmill. Yes, the workouts make me sweat and yes, I get out of breath BUT today I just about died! I walked about 2 1/2 miles outside today on a jogging trail and I was struggling. My feet hurt. My legs hurt. Halfway through, I wanted to use my cell and call for a ride. I've bee... Sun, 27 Feb 2011 19:36:13 EST My journey from a 25 minute mile to a 15:57 minute mile http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4050285 What a LONG road! I finished week 2 of the Couch to 5K program today. It's been a little while since I timed my mile. I've been wanting to do a 5K for years but have always been too overweight, too out of shape, and too scared. So when spark offered the virtual 5K I realized this was my chance. So I jump on the treadmill today with the intention of timing my mile. When the bell went off signaling my mile was finished, I couldn't believe my eyes. I was so tired and sweaty I thought I wa... Sat, 26 Feb 2011 21:12:23 EST Exercise? When? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4048524 My days are so long. I'm a full time mom and full time college student who also interns 2 days a week. After going to school or interning during the first part of the day, I spend about 3 or more hours in the car. By the time I get home each day, it's usually after 6 and sometimes later. I'm exhausted. Then there's dinner to prepare, the house to clean, laundry to get done, the dogs to take care of, make sure the kids have their homework done, spend some quality time with them, do my hom... Sat, 26 Feb 2011 00:59:25 EST I got my mile down to under 18 minutes! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4042307 When I started this journey for the 14th billion time, I clocked myself at around a 25 minute mile. Keep in mind I was sedentary almost 90% of my day, every day. So I started eating better and walking on the treadmill and occasionally working on the weight machine. (I have bad knees so I have to be real careful with what I do) For the last few years, I've wanted to do a 5k run so bad that I've gone and watched runners participate in them but never signed up for myself. Last week I starte... Wed, 23 Feb 2011 18:41:38 EST The stress has caught up to me http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4035799 Last week I had a major car problem-and when I cay "major", I mean $2250.00 major! Now, those of you that know me, know I don't have that kind of money. So between dealing with figuring out how to pay for the car and rescheduling my obligations (some of which were really unable to be rescheduled without making me look bad) I had a breakdown. I cried and cried and cried. I cried so hard I threw up on more than one occasion. You know what pisses me off the most? My ex-husband is living sc... Mon, 21 Feb 2011 15:38:23 EST C25K/week 2/workout 1 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4033177 I'm coming off my "runner's high". The workout is so tough and I struggle to get through it but after it's over, I feel so good. I wish I could explain that feeling. My kids kind of laugh at me because when I'm running, I sometimes have to talk to myself out loud...sometimes, I even yell at myself. My lungs burned and my knees ached and the bottom of my feet got sore but I pushed on and I made it through. What a feeling of accomplishment today. Sun, 20 Feb 2011 19:00:16 EST I'm not afraid to say I failed http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4028403 because I did fail. I chose to eat unhealthy things. I chose to not exercise. Buy you know what? I still succeeded. I lost 4 pounds! Yep, that's right! I ate unhealthy and I didn't exercise but I still lost 4 pounds. Ok Ok I need to clarify...I didn't eat unhealthy things everyday, and I certainly didn't choose not to exercise everyday. If there is one thing I've learned in this journey, it's that you don't have to deprive yourself of the things you enjoy. It took me a LONG time to ... Fri, 18 Feb 2011 16:17:21 EST A little more than a week into it http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4025772 So it's been a little more than a week since I re-dedicated myself to me. I haven't totally eaten healthy and I've taken a few days off from exercising but you know what, I'm still proud of myself. I haven't given up. I've pushed forward. And today when I was doing my last day of week 1's Couch to 5k workout, I noticed I wasn't nearly as labored as when I first started it. To me, that's success. <BR> In the past, it seems like every time I've tried to become healthier, something has alwa... Thu, 17 Feb 2011 16:03:36 EST Why is it so hard? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4013297 Forgive me. I've jumped on the self pity train today. I want this SO BAD! So, this should be easy right? My mother always taught me that if you want something bad enough, you go after it. Well, I WANT THIS! I want to be thin. I want to feel beautiful. I want to quit taking so many medications. WHY can't this be easier? I've been struggling for years. It shouldn't be such a struggle. When I exercise it feels so good but then the next day, I struggle to find the will to exercise. I... Sun, 13 Feb 2011 02:21:03 EST