REMEMBER2BME's SparkPeople Blog REMEMBER2BME's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Maybe I found something telling me it is ok Broke last night horribly out of nowhere and again this morning. <BR> <BR> Today is the anniversary of Utah's passing. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I do a great job of burring things that I can not handle. I can however handle most everything. I am amazing at rationalizing and finding reasons for things. Except my earth shattering mistake. <BR> <BR> Bottom line is that Utah had epilepsy. He needed his meds and we were not the... Sun, 29 Mar 2015 07:08:45 EST Wow, this is what I truly want to do with my life <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <link> </link> <BR> <BR> It is a 12 minute video but it is amazing and I think exactly what I want to do. I do not have or should say, will not have the energy for so many pups but I have found a great love for older pups. <BR> <BR> My DH thinks I am crazy that loosing them is simply too hard. I was thinking about this Monday night. I watched a great and horrible movie on AL... Wed, 25 Mar 2015 06:20:57 EST Almost a year March 29th will be 1 year since Utah passed. Yesterday, I finally felt this.... for a few minutes. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I have really missed this. I was not feeling sad but was sitting on the couch for just a few minutes and Traveler laid his arms and paws and head on my lap in a way that was different. I felt it. I don't know if it was me or him or the spirit of Aspen or Utah or what but I felt it. <BR> <BR> I have... Sat, 21 Mar 2015 13:52:44 EST I am good. I hope you are too :) <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Well if you know me, you already know this. This may sound odd but I was wondering why this is. Why am I so blessed. Is it good decision making? <BR> <BR> I honestly think it is because I have a wonderful guardian angel. She is actually my DH's guardian angel but has taken me on as part of the package. Long story. Anyway, I am happy. <BR> <BR> <em>48</em> MY DH is a wonderful person <BR> <em>387</... Fri, 20 Mar 2015 06:12:25 EST Oddly nervous I will get straight to the point. I am nervous about the possibility of getting a new pup. This is so not like me. The change is that I am used to have a younger one with a little older, well trained pup. <BR> <BR> I can handle this, right? Of course I can. I sometimes get a bit overwhelmed. That is common with any young "children" right? Of course. <BR> <BR> I am a good Mom, a great Mom in-fact. My heart is huge. I know that. It will all work out as it should. Trust, trust, ... Mon, 16 Mar 2015 07:41:45 EST I am better. Hello March! Time to get positive again. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> It is amazing the power THINKING has on me. Positive versus not so positive thinking has a HUGE impact on me. I decided I needed to focus on positive thinking again. I had to get out of my funk and my missing my pups so very much. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I have wonderful problems. I had absolutely wond... Wed, 4 Mar 2015 06:11:59 EST Quick blog Long but fairly good day. I left home later than usual, when I head into the office. I had told myself that I needed to get in a good long walk with traveler. Then later finding out that DH would be staying home. <BR> <BR> It too twice my normal time getting to work. 1 hour and a half. Yuck. O-well. I did not meet with my boss (in from NY) until 4:45. We had a good chat and I found out that she thinks I will have this assignment until at least the end of the year. I was/am pleased.... Tue, 24 Feb 2015 19:28:04 EST What a wonderful thing to complain about! I am blessed! I caught myself complaining. As some of you saw in my last blog, Traveler has me wrapped around his paw. Pick one. I'm there. <BR> <BR> Today, I mentioned going for a walk. It was a nice 39 degrees. We actually went for a walk. I thought, how nice. We can actually walk and don;t necessarily have to jog. It was around 3000 steps. We got home and he says to me.... Let's go! Ready? We have not been for a jog in ages. I think. It is ok boy, take your nice bone and be easily distra... Sun, 22 Feb 2015 10:18:32 EST Me again Hello. I thought I would take a few minutes to blog. Maybe I will get back into the routine. I think that would be good. <BR> <BR> DH and I ended up taking a short road trip yesterday. It was funny, I had left to do my grocery shopping but saw Traveler in the front window watching me leave and yes... I turned around. Does me have me wrapped around his finger or what. I had planned on taking him for another walk & then hitting the grocery. <BR> <BR> DH woke from a nap and wanted to... Sun, 22 Feb 2015 07:36:16 EST Hello Saturday <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Well, I am not here quite yet, maybe after another cup of coffee or by the end of this blog. <BR> <BR> Where to start? I am good. <BR> <em>387</em> Work was a bit up and down but nothing significant. My boss will be in town next week from NY so I may have to go in a day or two. Traveler will not be happy but it will probably be good for me. I would really like to ask my boss if she has an idea of how l... Sat, 21 Feb 2015 07:06:00 EST Hello Tuesday Well, I am a bit stressed today. I have a meeting at 9:00 that I am leading (over the phone). I would like to make a good impression as my boss and another high level gentleman will be in attendance. It has started off a bit rocky because I did not get sign off on the presentation from my boss yesterday. This morning I made the call to send the presentation anyway. I like to send meeting materials 24 hours in advance. It is what it is. It should be fine. I just need to breathe. <BR... Tue, 17 Feb 2015 06:37:25 EST How am I and Happy Valentine's Day It is all a matter of how you look at things right? I am good. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Happy Valentine's day! <BR> <BR> I am hanging in there. Where to start? <BR> <BR> <em>387</em> Work is good. I work from home mostly which really is a HUGE bonus. <BR> <em>331</em> I walk/jog with Traveler 3 times daily. He is really pushing me to exercise harder. <BR> <em>193</em> This is great in the sense that I have... Sat, 14 Feb 2015 07:19:23 EST I am ok <img src=""> <BR> <BR> First, I have the best spark friends ever. You guys are the best! I so appreciate you checking in on me and offering wholeheartedly to help. That in itself helps. It helps to know that you are there. So... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Secondly, last week was different. I mourned differently than with Kanyon, Aspen or Utah. Much differently. But ye... Sun, 1 Feb 2015 07:37:27 EST So much to say I do think this sums it up though for you. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Daddy's perfect girl. I am telling myself that it is ok that I was not the one who made her life complete, perfect, full of happiness. DH did that from time to time. Sierra's biggest joy was going to the acreage with DH. She got to go, just the 2 of them, sitting in the front of the old truck. She sat looking at him with her nose almost touching his, so ... Sun, 25 Jan 2015 07:01:47 EST Everything happens for a reason Ok, lets see how far I get. Not sure what to do today. I have kept myself busy but it is raining and I was ready to take Traveler anyway then... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I was quite surprised. He is being so perceptive. I expected some understanding but this I consider over the top. DH is definitely in pain. <BR> <BR> I will back up a few ste... Fri, 23 Jan 2015 13:46:51 EST Sierra is in ICU - Positive thoughts please Let's see if I can keep this brief. I am not doing as well as I would like but only fell apart once. DH was very supportive. <BR> <BR> Last night I took a Tylenol pm. Excuse for being tired, who knows? I heard Sierra sounding funny and was too lazy to get up or think much about it. Then finally at 2:30 I got up. She was trying to throw up but nothing much at all would come up. She would then stop and lay back down flat. <BR> <BR> It was different than when pups in the past tried ... Thu, 22 Jan 2015 13:28:33 EST Finally an update I really should try to blog at least one a week. I think it helps. I don't know why I don't do it. Just lazy. I think I am afraid to have boring blogs or not much to share too. Stupid. <BR> <BR> Anyway, how am I? <BR> <BR> Pretty great over all. I have Traveler after all. Saturday was 4 weeks. We picked him up from his foster parents on 12/20. He keeps me busy with 2 or mostly 3 walks a day. I am still pretty lucky to work from home a lot. He is great when I am at the compute... Mon, 19 Jan 2015 07:11:20 EST Two guiding principles for the year :) <img src=""> <BR> <BR> This is an important one. I learned this years ago, but still need the reminder. It is hard for me to not put too much into work. At one point in my life it was everything and negatively impacted my relationship. It is critical that I remember this. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> On the flip side, I learned years ago when Aspen passed how truly blesse... Fri, 2 Jan 2015 07:58:07 EST Happy Monday morning <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Easy for me to say, now that my days in general are much better. It is not that they were bad before. Traveler just helps to put things back in perspective for me. Interesting huh?!? <BR> <BR> <em>27</em> <em>27</em> <em>27</em> and more <em>27</em> <BR> Goodness we are getting a good amount this break. So be it. Just so I am able to get <em>313</em> my walks in with Traveler I am good <e... Mon, 29 Dec 2014 06:57:37 EST I am good :) Today started off well... for the most part. <BR> <BR> <em>193</em> Almost every day of the year starts with the scale. I am a few lbs over where I want to be. The equally or more important thing that hit me yesterday was ... <BR> <BR> <em>4</em> that I have just been eating so poorly it seems/feels. Not 'real' meals and much more sugar than usual. Luckily I am not eating a tremendous amount otherwise I would be wayyy over weight. <BR> <BR> <em>313</em> The walking is help... Sun, 28 Dec 2014 08:29:11 EST Yikes a second blog <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I saw these and it just really made me think. My DH has had tremendous loss in his live before I ever met him. It is a part of him. I never had loss, not really. I suppose this helps me understand what he has gone though and maybe some day, he will see and better understand the unspeakable benefit to opening up and letting love tru... Fri, 26 Dec 2014 11:22:31 EST Traveler and Christmas <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Yep, that's my boy. That seems t be his favorite position on the couch. It is a share he is still so uptight and uncomfortable. LOL We are waiting for him to come put of his shell. :) <BR> <BR> We went the vet at 8 this morning. He is 74.4 lbs. She thinks he is at a perfect weight. She thinks he is younger than 18 months, closer to 1yo. He got his last shot and she has no concerns. He was great at the v... Fri, 26 Dec 2014 11:11:51 EST Have I mentioned that I got a new pup?!? Just maybe. LOL :) <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Wow, I look at these pictures and some look so much like Utah. I was and am in no way looking for a Utah replacement. Nothing could replace my unique and wonderful boy. However, it has been really weird. Traveler is himself, his own being, no doubt about it. I am happy to have him as our new addition. However, at times it is spooky/odd. It feels like Utah is speaking to me through him. I feel like a kook. ... Mon, 22 Dec 2014 12:48:33 EST Chester <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Yes, we will rename him. My DH asked that & I spoke with the foster Mom and she said the rescue group gave him the name and he does not seem like a Chester. My DH will come up with something. He has named all of our pups (Kanyon, Aspen, Sierra, Utah). <BR> <BR> We are scheduled to pick him up on Saturday. We are meeting the foster parents somewhere I think. I need to better puppy proof the house. Luckily I a... Thu, 18 Dec 2014 06:18:29 EST Oh my goodness a baby. Chester! I am blessed. I was up at 4:40. <BR> <em>192</em> Weigh myself, starting to slowing slide back after this weekend. <BR> <em>48</em> Let Sierra out <BR> <em>106</em> Get coffee & a bar <BR> <BR> same ol', same ol' <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Meet Chester.... <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <em>46</em> <em>334</em> <em>46</em> <em>334</em> <em>46</em> <em>334</em> ... Tue, 16 Dec 2014 05:08:13 EST Wow, so long since I have blogged. It feels like forever since I have blogged. I have loads to say but spend all day on the computer and simply do not feel like blogging after that. Maybe I can hit the high points. <BR> <BR> Sierra <em>30</em> <BR> I am still not walking her and only allow her to go up & down the stairs once a day. She doesn't even get to get the mail as often as she likes. In other works I have limited her activity greatly and I am happy to say that her limp is MUCH better. It was 3 weeks ago last... Thu, 11 Dec 2014 06:17:14 EST My crazy thoughts and a Sierra & pup update I have lots to blog about only because there has been a lot flowing through my mind. You know me, I think s much. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Too funny, this is not the picture I planned to post but as I was looking for my Happy Sunday picture, this jumped out at me. I think this is it. I have not been thinking right. I can talk my self in or out of anything, including happiness. Goodness, my mind is all over th eplace. I ... Sun, 23 Nov 2014 07:51:29 EST Still not myself but moving forward What does that mean, not myself? I'm not sure. I am just in a bit of a funk here and there. I miss my Boy. I was thinking earlier that is like living without my crutch, my crutch that made life so very much easier. <BR> <BR> I am focused too much on weight something and not enough at other times. I need to find a balance and continue to see what works. I dreamed last night that I had a cookie, how sad is that. I hate when I dream about food. I think it is a bad sign. <BR> <BR> Ut... Sat, 15 Nov 2014 07:08:33 EST Wow, me again I finally did good today. My weight has been bothering me so much I did not even get on the scale the last 3 days. I weigh myself each morning. <BR> <BR> Anyway, I drank much more <em>194</em> water today. I have not been drinking much for quite some time now. I did not munch or at least when I did I chose fruit and nuts and not too much. Now I just have to make it through dinner. A salad is what I plan to have. NO chocolate today either and no grabbing a pringle here or there. ... Fri, 7 Nov 2014 16:32:47 EST Hello again Hello. I think of you all often and it helps me. I have been a bit moody lately and not getting enough exercise or eating my best. It is not like me. <BR> <BR> Yesterday and today were goof though, for the most part. <BR> <BR> Things did not go exactly as I wanted yesterday, the timing of things but it ended out working out for the best. It reminded me that I really do in fact need to ... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Today... Wed, 5 Nov 2014 18:25:28 EST Finally blogging I figure if KEKEIKO can take the time to check on me and BLESSED2BEME can type two days in a row (great blogs btw). Then I can get off my lazy rear and type. <BR> <BR> I think of you all, all the time. I am just on the computer all day long and don't feel like blogging at night. I am a bit too rushed maybe in the morning. EXCUSES, EXCUSES. I really should blog it helps. <BR> <BR> OK the most important thing... NO pup. It ended up being a weird and stressful situation. I think BLE... Thu, 30 Oct 2014 18:41:38 EST Trying for a super quick blog update <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I want to blog but also want to walk Sierra, have time for the treadmill and get to work early today. Anyway... It hit me yesterday that I was feeling really happy. I was feeling fulfilled in what I was doing for work. <BR> <BR> <em>40</em> This scared me. Does this mean a shoe is going to drop. <BR> <BR> Then this morning I thought maybe not necessarily. The last time I felt this fulfilled and useful ... Thu, 9 Oct 2014 04:52:15 EST Week 1 on the new job & life in general <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Hello. Hello. I have missed you... however I am happy I have been able to keep up some on reading blogs. I just have not blogged myself. <BR> <BR> <em>313</em> I waked Sierra every morning and 3 evenings <em>48</em> <BR> <em>315</em> I got on the treadmill 4 morning but my peak day was 1.25 miles <BR> <em>331</em> I am getting in steps. Lowest day was 10,623, highest was 14,402. <BR> <em>4</... Sat, 4 Oct 2014 07:19:34 EST Limbo and odd day I think my funk is because I feel a bit like I am in the waiting game. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <em>104</em> I am excited to have the new job/consulting gig starting on Monday. I however order my Organizational Change Management stuff a bit late. It was expensive and I was dragging my feet. I really do think this can be a new beginning for me... a good one. <BR> <em>30</em> I just receive the binder in the mail today a... Thu, 25 Sep 2014 15:53:49 EST Feeling some stress <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Yes indeed, I jinked myself by documenting my plans for the week. LOL <BR> <BR> Saturday - - was good, it was an easy day working on supports for the shed. <BR> <BR> Sunday - - we ended out not going to the acreage. We took the Harley out. It was a real nice ride. I also read some of my Organizational Change Management materials that I had purchased. <BR> <BR> Yesterday - - <BR> <em>315</em> <em>3... Tue, 23 Sep 2014 09:12:04 EST 2 blogs in 1 day :) Tattoo? What do you think? NOTE THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SPORTS. THIS HAS TO DO WITH MY GOLDENS PASSING. <BR> <BR> 1st where to put it? This might not be bad or maybe around front on my ribs. Thoughts? <BR> <BR> 2nd What? Which do you like or do you have other thoughts? I am not sure about writing. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> ONE <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> TWO <BR> <BR> <... Sun, 21 Sep 2014 10:17:19 EST Sunday and plans for next week <img src=""> <BR> <BR> How am I? <BR> <BR> Pretty darn good. You know my one downfall, weight on my shoulders... my missing Utah. I saw a Great Dane on our walk this morning and noticed that Utah jogged just like him, all clumsy. Adorable. It does not go away. I decided on my walk with Sierra that I should be patient and give it a year. Utah passed March 29th. I was wondering how people get passed loosing a loved one. <BR> ... Sun, 21 Sep 2014 07:49:55 EST YIPPEE!!! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Yes, I received a consulting gig on Friday for Ingersoll Rand. It is however 45 miles away. <BR> <BR> TODAY, I got a different job offer! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> It is a contract to hire job at TIAA CREF. <BR> It is better pay. Good pay. <BR> It get me more experience in Banking, which makes it easier for me to find my next position. <BR> ... Mon, 15 Sep 2014 12:35:37 EST I can handle this right? Thoughts? Happy Sunday! <BR> <BR> Tomorrow will likely be a big day for me so I figure I need to blog before I lose my mind or eat a cake or something. <BR> <BR> Sorry this will be a boring blog. <BR> <BR> I realize this is not losing Utah or rocket science or anything. I just have difficulty letting people down. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> HUM? <BR> <BR> I have a consulting gig through RGP, the company I "work" for. I got the t... Sun, 14 Sep 2014 16:39:55 EST Crazy week with mixed emotions - Happy Saturday! So much craziness. I am not sure where to start. I could go on and on forever. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I have a mix of emotions. It has been a crazy week. <BR> <BR> <em>313</em> <em>315</em> I have done very well with walking Sierra & getting on the treadmill. <BR> <em>4</em> Eating is fair. I am eating more fruit and paying attention to my snacking. <BR> <BR> <img src=" Sat, 13 Sep 2014 07:44:57 EST Wednesday <img src=""> <BR> <BR> We can try right?!? It is what it is. <BR> <BR> <em>304</em> to Puppywhispers - You are right. I did 4 miles mostly walking on the treadmill after walking Sierra and I threw in some jogging intervals. <BR> I think it helps. <em>30</em> <BR> <BR> Recap... <BR> - - Still waiting to hear back what seems like a good Wells Fargo opportunity. I will follow up again today before my 2:00 doctor's appointmen... Wed, 10 Sep 2014 10:58:11 EST Hangin in there :) I am doing better today. <BR> <BR> Yesterday ended on a wonderful note, or more accurately on the perfect note. <BR> I received a WONDERFUL reminder. <BR> PMA - Positive Mental Attitude. <BR> <BR> It has helped me today. <BR> <em>313</em> I walked Sierra before breakfast. <BR> <em>315</em> Got on the treadmill for 3 mile walk after breakfast. <BR> <em>48</em> Laundry <BR> <em>313</em> Then... I took Sierra to the "River Walk". I think we both really enjoyed it. <B... Tue, 9 Sep 2014 14:38:43 EST Not quite the update I want to give... Well, I definitely need to blog. <BR> <BR> Last Friday I had 3 "meetings". <BR> - - First was a meeting with a really nice guy I may work with. Bla Bla Bla. <BR> <BR> - - Second ended out just being a phone call, but it ended out going great, at least from my point of view. It was with a person from Mindseekers, a consulting group I met with the other week. Anyway, she is a high level consultant at Wells Fargo and she needs help. She has a team of 4 I think but she needs sometime to ... Mon, 8 Sep 2014 14:08:36 EST Hello Tuesday <img src=""> <BR> <BR> In response to my good friend WINE4Girl... how am I? Good question. <BR> <BR> I am hanging in there. I am trying to remain positive and trying to not think too much. This can be a challenge for me. I am definitely a thinker. <BR> <BR> Saturday - We went to the acreage. We got a bit of work done on the shed but had to stop because out last 2x4 was very warped. It was a good day. <BR> <BR> Sunday - We to... Tue, 2 Sep 2014 11:09:29 EST Friends <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Make it a great weekend! <BR> <BR> Maybe pictures next blog on today's progress :) Sat, 30 Aug 2014 06:10:39 EST Patience and updates <img src=""> <BR> I am being patient. It seems that things on the job from just might be popping. I have met with & spoken to several recruiters this week. Below are potential opportunities. <BR> <BR> 1 - - TIAA CREF - PMO Lead - I think I am most interested in this position. They are submitted my resume today. <BR> <BR> 2 - - Duke Energy - Mgr. Proj. Change Management -- I applied for this position on-line. I don;t even have a co... Thu, 28 Aug 2014 11:32:55 EST The latest and greatest Well the weekend was not as productive as I imagined but it was good with some relaxation mixed in. <BR> <BR> DH and I put together another sign for the acreage. <BR> <em>259</em> It was cookin' Saturday. <BR> <BR> Sunday was much better but my DH's back was really bothering him. He has purchased a trailer thing that attached to the 4-Wheeler. It took a while to put it together but we did it together so that was good. <BR> <BR> Sunday evening I ended up having to take the trail... Tue, 26 Aug 2014 12:13:17 EST A good day :) Today was the good day that I was waiting for. I read on someone blog or somewhere the power of positive thought or actually I think it was a reminder of envisioning the positive. I thought about that today. <BR> <BR> I tried to slow myself down from time to time to think, to make sure I was not forgetting anything. I decided to go to the acreage and pick up the small trailer this morning rather than stick with my normal routine. So after Sierra and my morning walk I got ready and we (... Fri, 22 Aug 2014 16:28:56 EST Hangin on this roller coaster ride <em>304</em> <em>304</em> <em>304</em> <em>304</em> <em>304</em> <em>304</em> <BR> <BR> I have such wonderful Spark friends. I thank you for checking in on me. Yes you, PuppyWhispers and Kekeiko. I truly appreciate it. I was actually feeling alone earlier today and thought to myself, 'you have your spark friends. You are not alone.' <BR> <BR> I am not 100% sure how I am. I continue on this roller coaster ride. <BR> <BR> I should start from the beginning but t... Wed, 20 Aug 2014 12:43:20 EST What NOT to do if you want to lose and updates :) <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <em>40</em> Because your DH is having his usual dose of ice cream... be creative for yourself and heat up some chocolate then add some vanilla ice cream on top. It is great. No worries about developing this new craving. (What was I thinking and right before bed too!) <BR> <BR> My DH is on a crazy schedule and sometimes skips dinner soooo I am thinking... I am not that hungry, just eat a meal bar (180 calori... Fri, 15 Aug 2014 06:43:49 EST