REMEMBER2BME's SparkPeople Blog REMEMBER2BME's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Happy Saturday - Other updates Just a few updates I think. <BR> <BR> <em>313</em> Up around 5:15. Went to bed early. Took Sierra for her walk this morning. Foggy out there. <BR> <BR> <em>198</em> We are off to the acreage today to work on the rafters. This is totally new to us. Hope it goes well. We only have 2 days of good weather. <BR> <BR> <em>52</em> I forgot to update you on the puppy situation... there are no updates. DH has stopped looking I think and I have not looked either. I am giving i... Sat, 26 Jul 2014 06:47:15 EST Hello - Quick update Just thought I would check in. <BR> <BR> <em>313</em> I am still consistently walking Sierra each morning. I can't imagine this changing. Aspen taught me this so many years ago. They are what is most important to me. Therefore, I need and want to show it. :) <BR> <BR> <em>315</em> I am touch and go with this, every other day mostly. Not bad, not perfect. I do find (as usual) that I feel better when I get in 2 or more likley 3 miles. <BR> <BR> <em>4</em> This is still up ... Fri, 25 Jul 2014 09:51:15 EST Get it together please. I needed to blog yesterday. I think I would have gotten more done. I have the habit of following my DH's lead and he has days where he does not accomplish much at all. Other days he moves mountains. I am the person who need to typically stay at more of a constant balance I think. I was thinking yesterday that I need to blog about my plan. I always need some sort of plan in order to move forward. <BR> <BR> Not a big deal. I am ok with taking days off but I would like to accomplish a ... Sun, 20 Jul 2014 06:56:33 EST A HUGE Spark Benefit - Thank you Friends! I am all over the place. Doing well spending more time with my DH and growing a stronger relationship with Sierra. <BR> <BR> <em>4</em> FOOD choices however have been really poor. This is NOT like me or I at least like to think that this is NOT like me. <BR> <BR> I felt bad this morning and yesterday morning feeling guilty for overeating each day prior. I did better yesterday until it came to dinner and I could not keep myself from teh stupid dinner rolls. <BR> <BR> ANYWAY, bac... Thu, 17 Jul 2014 18:21:57 EST Stress, Weight gain & Remaining Positive Let's see where to start. <BR> <BR> <em>102</em> For the past several nights I feel as though I am working in my dreams. It may be project management work for building or who knows what. It is not necessarily bad dreams. It is simply tiring. <BR> <BR> <em>193</em> My weight is definitely up. <em>46</em> <BR> It is frustrating but definitely not unexpected. I am grabbing <em>493</em> and yesterday even <em>495</em> . This is not my typical behavior. We went out fo... Wed, 16 Jul 2014 07:10:44 EST Our project. Too many pics. :) A long time ago my DH had a vision. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I am missing adding in the pictures where we dug for the foundation and the poured. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkp... Mon, 14 Jul 2014 17:56:15 EST If we see stress coming can we control it? Woke up at 5:30. Not bad. I would like to stick to a good routine and not start sleeping in. As soon as I do, I will be back to work needing to get up earlier. <BR> <BR> <em>313</em> Took Sierra for her morning walk. Super humid but ok. I got back to find an e-mail regarding the Greensboro project. "I spoke with the client late yesterday and it looks like they are going with a candidate from another firm that is local." <BR> <BR> Then same... <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sp... Fri, 11 Jul 2014 08:57:12 EST Happy Thursday - Another all over the place update <em>313</em> Only one dog walk so far <BR> <em>315</em> 2.5 miles walked on the treadmill <BR> <em>52</em> I scheduled a dental appointment for Monday. I know I need a crown but my last dentist wanted me to get something done in addition. Very $$$$. We'll see what this new dentist says (referral from a guy at work) and go with it. <BR> <em>52</em> My DH schedule a colostomy for the 21st. This is what got me going with scheduling my appointments. Poor thing. It can't me fun... Thu, 10 Jul 2014 18:09:01 EST All over the place & a smile for you too This really made me <em>334</em> I love, love, love it. <BR> <BR> <link> </link> <BR> <BR> Ok now onto business. <BR> <BR> <em>24</em> Day 3 not working; between assignments. I checked in with the woman who is checking into the Greensboro assignment. She said her contact was out yesterday. She is meeting with him this afternoon. I was pleased that she responded. I like to know what's up. <BR> <BR> <em>313</em> Sierra and I took two walks, 5000 ste... Wed, 9 Jul 2014 10:42:23 EST Walking helps - Pondering Work Sorry friends, I need to blog through this I think so the initial topic and maybe only topic today will be work. <BR> <BR> I joined RGP, Resource Global Professions just over 2 months ago in Charlotte, NC. I was consulting more or less independently prior to that. Years ago I worked for PWC, Price WaterhouseCoopers for 8 years. That required loads of travel (4 days a week every week). This took a huge tole on my marriage without my even knowing it. My DH was always super supportive so... Tue, 8 Jul 2014 07:36:01 EST So, how am I? Good question. I am hangin in, learning. <BR> <BR> <em>313</em> My days are still starting off with a walk with Sierra. Today was about 3000 steps. That's good. She really needs it and so do I. I have not gotten back to my evening walks and I feel it. I am going to try to make myself this week, just a very short one. <BR> <BR> <em>315</em> Not a lot of treadmill time and this needs to change too. <BR> <BR> <em>193</em> Weight remains up <em>46</em> up today, NOT go... Sun, 29 Jun 2014 07:17:10 EST Maybe today is the start of a slow New Beginning I tied to sleep in. Woke to a weird, somewhat upsetting dream at 5:00. Laid around trying to rest. Got up at 6:15 I think. Fed Sierra and we went for our walk. <BR> <BR> On the walk I thought, as I normally do. <BR> <BR> I thought about what a good, very knowledgeable friend had said... Work is work, a means to an end. This has not typically been the care for me. Work at times has been incredible, exciting, rewarding and it used to be where I felt most confident. I am not so sure... Sat, 14 Jun 2014 07:29:50 EST Finally an update on life Wow, it has been a long time (for me) since I have blogged. I guess I am not sure what to say. I realize I should blog anyway because the words always start flowing. So how am I? <BR> <BR> This is week 2 with being under the weather. I am better though, much. It started with a sore throat, then just feeling crummy. I stayed home Monday from work and took the day off. That helped a great deal I overdid it yesterday walking too much. <BR> <BR> I think what bothers me so much is that ... Fri, 13 Jun 2014 11:49:09 EST Hello - Quick update Not blogging much lately. I think I am not the only one. There are likely several reasons. It is a bit challenging throughout the work week. <BR> <BR> <em>41</em> I am working remote today. It is heaven. I finished two loads of laundry. <BR> <em>313</em> 2 walks with Sierra <BR> <em>315</em> 2 miles on the treadmill <BR> <em>4</em> Chicken with whatever I could find in the crock pot <BR> <em>387</em> and getting some work done as intended <BR> <BR> I have been a bi... Fri, 30 May 2014 13:49:54 EST Trust the Process <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I am doing ok. I love the above image. It reminds me to trust the process and that is important. If I was supposed to learn something from Utah's passing I will in time. <BR> <BR> <em>334</em> I have been able to work from home all week so that has been wonderful. It helps so very much with the treadmill miles and steps. <BR> <em>331</em> I think I have averaged about 13,000 steps daily over the la... Fri, 23 May 2014 13:08:13 EST My New Plan and many, many, many reminders to self It is time to <em>227</em> <em>227</em> <em>227</em> <em>227</em> <BR> <BR> It is time for ... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I am blessed and I simply need to remember that. Also, I fully trust my guardian angle up there. I need not question what has happened. If there is a lesson to learn I will learn it but not by being sad and lonely. ... Tue, 20 May 2014 18:47:44 EST Monday update Well, I am hang in there. Life has simply been a ... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I blogged Friday morning that I felt good then Friday night, <em>46</em> <BR> I was missing my boy so very much. I thought I might burst. <BR> <BR> It has been 7 weeks. I had the new job then the PMP to get through to keep my mind busy. Now I think I am just feeling. There is an emptiness. His just being filled my world with happiness and p... Mon, 19 May 2014 18:12:10 EST A glimpse of my boy Limited time so I will get straight to the point. <BR> <BR> <em>102</em> I woke up to the alarm which is not like me at all. Also woke up grinding my teeth. <BR> <em>24</em> Not overly motivated. Gotta go into the office today. I often am spoiled and work from home on Friday's. Anyway... <BR> <em>313</em> I took Sierra for a long walk. She is full of energy. <BR> THEN... a jogger jogs by and she is on it. She wants to jog with him. This is NOT my girl. She never has a ca... Fri, 16 May 2014 06:03:02 EST Super quick note Just thought I should quickly check in (via iPad so short). <BR> <BR> All is fine. <BR> <em>313</em> getting in our morning and evening walks, so Sierra stays sane. <BR> <em>4</em> eating too much but have a plan so I feel better about this. <BR> <em>48</em> it looks like my contract at Wells Fargo may have been extended to July. I meet with my boss tomorrow so we'll see how that goes. <BR> <em>30</em> he will not be in the office Friday or all of next week so I am hoping to... Wed, 14 May 2014 20:12:23 EST Happy Mother's day and an update <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Well, I was in a bit of a funk this morning but after a nice walk with Sierra (3000 steps), 2 treadmill miles wogged and part of a TV show I am feeling better. Oh and 2 cups of coffee too. <BR> <BR> I have been a very good Mom. It feels good to know that. <em>41</em> <BR> <BR> I am at an interesting turning point. I felt it again yesterday evening. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.c... Sun, 11 May 2014 09:05:09 EST So much to say, so little time First I went to a good friends post & this was there... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> It of course really hit home. So VERY true. <BR> <BR> SATURDAY will be 6 weeks since my boy passed and <BR> 3 years since Aspen's passing. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> This is Aspen and Kanyon. Just look at that little girl. They were the best friends ever. I am happy that Utah ... Fri, 9 May 2014 13:42:40 EST Quick update. Have a GREAT day! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> It is Wednesday. I am working from home today, tomorrow & Friday. I have several calls for work lined up and plenty to do but I am hoping to get in some study time. My "boss" does not mind my not working a full 40 this week. I need to make time to study and I would like to get in 2 more practice exams before Saturday's PMP exam. <BR> <em>40</em> It would really help to get 2 additional practice exams in a... Wed, 7 May 2014 05:44:04 EST Quick Sunday update. I pretty much said it all on yesterday's e-mail :) <BR> <BR> I ended up staying home today and DH really overdid it on his own out on the acreage. Don't know why he does that. He just can't stop himself. He was exhausted when he finally got home. <BR> <BR> I had a good day. <BR> <BR> <em>313</em> Walked Sierra. <BR> <BR> <em>387</em> Finished reviewing a few things then took my 200 Question Project Management Practice exam. I scored 87%. WOOHOO! I was thrilled. I also fi... Sun, 4 May 2014 19:06:46 EST General updates. Have a GREAT weekend! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Well, this is not exactly how I am feeling but let's go with it. <BR> It is a good goal for the day. <BR> <BR> It has been a week almost since I blogged. Life has been busy and just tiring in general. Not bad. It was actually a pretty good week. I just feel more tired in general at the end of the day and first thing in the morning. This is just not like me. <BR> <BR> <em>102</em> I am getting in my ... Sat, 3 May 2014 06:54:55 EST This, that and the other thing :) Hope you had a good weekend. So much to blog about but what continually comes back to me is this song. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <link> </link> <BR> <BR> It throws me because it is a love song but it reminds me so much of Utah. I am starting to understand (I think) more as time passes. <BR> - Initially, I felt guilt that I did not give my all to him in the end. <BR> - The imperfection piece is his epilepsy and his crooked tail.... Sun, 27 Apr 2014 16:17:12 EST What a mess I am I was able to "work" from home today. I found absolutely no motivation to work on work. <BR> <BR> <em>313</em> I started with a short dog walk <BR> <em>315</em> Then 4.5 miles on the treadmill with quite a bit of easy jogging. <BR> I was sitting at my desk by 9:00 but just could not get motivated for anything. <BR> <em>313</em> I took Sierra for another walk hoping that I would snap out of it. <BR> <em>388</em> I ended up spending loads of time printing another 15 of 2... Fri, 25 Apr 2014 14:36:45 EST Just remembered :) I was talking with my DH and he was giving me trouble about a celebrity who was getting "older", 43. LOL. I am 46. Anyway, I was thinking, where is Utah when I need him, to bite you in the butt? Then I remembered that Utah at one time used to literally bite my in the rear. They were little nibbles. He thought I was a pup, his friend that he wanted to play with in the kitchen. My crazy, lovable, perfect kid. We did have some fun times. <BR> <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> I told my DH about th... Wed, 23 Apr 2014 19:49:48 EST Tuesday - Another quick blog Woke up earlier which allowed for ... <BR> <em>313</em> walking Sierra. She is a bit stir crazy, poor thing. Long days. <BR> <em>315</em> 1 mile done on the treadmill. <BR> <BR> Work was better today. I suppose I should have expected day 1 not to be so very exciting. I just have a hard time with down time. I cot the laptop yesterday but still. Day 2 was better, busier. I had lunch with the gentleman I am consulting for and we had a very good and productive meeting as well. ... Tue, 22 Apr 2014 19:21:58 EST Super Quick Blog Day one on the job. <BR> <BR> <em>315</em> None <em>39</em> <BR> <em>313</em> Done. Sierra was the priority this morning. She is so good, doesn't complain and I know she is bored and wants to get out. <BR> <BR> I will try to get up earlier tomorrow & do both. Gotta get back into a new routine. <BR> <BR> Day one at work was fine. No bells or whistles but nothing at all negative, except the fact that I miss my old work buddies. They are just down the street. I will hav... Mon, 21 Apr 2014 19:44:02 EST Happy Easter and general update <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Aspen and Sierra so many years ago. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Sierra still always has a smile on her face. <BR> Happy Easter! <BR> <BR> Mine started out a bit off. I started my practice Project Management Exam a bit later than planned and that seemed to throw off my DH which of course then stressed me and bla bla bla. <BR> <BR> Anyway, he end... Sun, 20 Apr 2014 13:44:24 EST Hashing this out again Good Morning. <BR> <BR> <em>102</em> Well, I finally got some fairly restful sleep last night. Weird dreams but not bad. <BR> <BR> Thinking how to start my day. <BR> <em>149</em> I will start with reviewing the questions I got wrong on my practice PMP test. Maybe tomorrow I can take another 4 hour practice test. That would be VERY good for me. DH said it will be too wet to go to the acreage. He wants to take the Harley out. I am thinking it may be too chilly. We'll see. ... Sat, 19 Apr 2014 07:27:50 EST For my very good friends, yes you. I was just reading some updates and this came to mind... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I have some great friends and it is amazing what we go through right? One challenge after another. Sometimes these seem overpowering. <BR> <BR> For CHERIRIDDELL - One challenge after the other <BR> <BR> For PUPPYWHISPER - Everything it seems these days <BR> <BR> For BLESSED2BEME - You know all you have been through <BR> <BR> For KEKEIKO - L... Fri, 18 Apr 2014 06:59:46 EST I need to STOP and learn a lesson Work up feeling crummy thinking that it was Saturday. I don't like Saturday's these days as it reminds me of the day Utah passed and what we did and didn't do that day. <BR> <BR> <em>227</em> It is only Friday.... Don't stress. <BR> <em>24</em> I feel crummy because I ate everything I saw yesterday. <BR> <em>102</em> I had crummy dreams with Utah in them. He was boney and needed my help. <BR> <BR> <em>227</em> <em>227</em> <em>227</em> <em>227</em> <em>227</em> <... Fri, 18 Apr 2014 06:51:38 EST Quick update - PMP class is complete <em>102</em> Took a sleeping pill last night so I was finally able to get some sleep. <BR> <em>315</em> only 1.5 on the treadmill this morning. <BR> <em>149</em> I wanted to get to my Project Management class early because we were sitting for a 200 question 4 hour exam today. I wanted to study a few things. No time because I had computer issues. O-well. I got an 80% on the exam. Not bad. <BR> <BR> The suggest taking 3 additional exams in the same manner with a target of 8... Thu, 17 Apr 2014 19:12:35 EST I miss my boy I can tell I am tired. I slept really poorly last night. <BR> <BR> <em>315</em> 2 miles this morning. <BR> <BR> <em>149</em> then PMP class <BR> <BR> Then on the way home I could feel it. I miss him. <BR> I miss the comfort he would bring me just by being. <BR> I will be ok. I just really miss him. <BR> I hear the song "All of me", I think it is called, and think of him. <BR> <BR> I love all of you.... Are your perfect imperfections. <BR> <BR> He was perfect. Did I ever me... Wed, 16 Apr 2014 20:23:06 EST Brief update A quick blog then relaxation time and then bed time. <BR> <BR> I am happy to say.... <BR> <BR> <em>315</em> 3 treadmill miles (without my fitbit) <BR> <em>388</em> Left the house early so that I could hit wal-mart before my PMP class. I was able to pick up some more frames and also some 5x7 photo paper. I am considering trying to print just a few 5x7s. <BR> <em>149</em> Then my Project Management course. <BR> <BR> Not a bad day at all. <BR> <BR> I determined that I ne... Tue, 15 Apr 2014 19:40:38 EST Happy Belated Birthday to me :) Thank you for the birthday wishes. <BR> It is getting "late" but I thought I would go ahead and post a quick blog. <BR> <BR> Saturday at the acreage went much better than I thought it would. We got a lot done and no major issues. Not sure if we ran into any minor issues either. <BR> <BR> Hum, I might be too impatient tonight to post the pictures. <BR> We started by removing the the brush-hog and attaching a trenching implement. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.... Mon, 14 Apr 2014 19:58:51 EST Saturday Saturday's seems harder than other day. I guess it brings back "the Saturday". <BR> <em>102</em> I feel like I had bad or weird dreams all night too. O-well, it is morning and I have my <em>106</em> coffee, everything should be alright. <BR> <BR> YESTERDAY <BR> <BR> As I mentioned, got in my <em>315</em> time. <BR> No <em>313</em> <em>24</em> <BR> <em>52</em> All went well at Resource Global Professionals filling out employment paperwork. <BR> <em>30</em> I got... Sat, 12 Apr 2014 07:12:45 EST Falling in place It seems that things may be falling in place. I spent many hours yesterday printing pictures. I now have added pictures going up the stairs. I had done this after Aspen passed. Now I have 2 frames that hold 4 pictures each. One has Utah and Sierra and the other only Utah. It looks really nice. <BR> <BR> I now have pictures in my bathroom, 2 hung... next to Aspen's. <BR> I now have a pictures in front of the treadmill... next to Aspen's. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeo... Fri, 11 Apr 2014 12:40:51 EST Moving forward Yesterday was busy, no blog. <BR> <BR> YESTERDAY <BR> <BR> <em>315</em> 3 and a quarter miles on the treadmill <BR> <em>4</em> Then I drove to Charlotte to have lunch with 3 people from Resource Global Professionals. It looks like this is the group I will be going with. One of the 3 is already consulting at Well's Fargo. He seems extremely knowledgeable and friendly. It sounds I may be working with him quite a bit. That would be nice. I appreciate him taking the time out to me... Thu, 10 Apr 2014 10:00:12 EST I am doing better First I want to start by saying... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> You help so very much. I would be so very alone without you. <BR> <BR> I think I am doing better. I am proud that I have made it a week. I am not crying daily any more. I feel I am bouncing back fairly quickly and I of course have mixed feeling about it. I know I will have many more explosions of emotions but I am hanging in there. <BR> <BR> I think this real... Tue, 8 Apr 2014 09:40:53 EST Happiness? Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. <BR> <BR> Someone mentioned something like happiness comes from within. I suppose I believe this. I am naturally a happy person. My DH is not necessarily. We compliment each other well. Of course what I am puzzled about now is .... how do I describe it... this in between state. <BR> <BR> What I feel provided me so much happiness... <BR> <BR> ... Mon, 7 Apr 2014 10:48:05 EST Numb time How did I not figure out that today would be a hard day. I guess it is a good thing I was not thinking. Well, I work up angry and thing crummy things. I want to ask my DH why he had to strike up such a conversation at the Bar last Saturday. Why, because that seemed to kick off a whole series of conversations that extended the evening. <BR> <BR> He could say, why is it that I can't let go and really enjoy myself every other week or something and help him to release some of the tension th... Sat, 5 Apr 2014 06:35:06 EST The latest I suppose I need to get my thoughts together. First thing first, even if I don't necessarily want it to be first. <BR> <BR> <em>387</em> This is the e-mail I received last night... <BR> "Given your training schedule, Pat would like to have you start on April 21st. I think that probably works best for you too. Carrie will be in touch with regards to on-boarding. I am excited to finally have a chance to bring you on board. Welcome!" <BR> <BR> Thank God for this. It is good to have ... Fri, 4 Apr 2014 10:25:00 EST Maybe I'm OK, could be Well, I went to bed again early last night. I may go to bed even earlier tonight. It is amazing how exhausting crying is. That should count for some calories being burned. I only had one good cry today. Not bad at all I think. <BR> <BR> <em>315</em> 3.5 walking on an incline. I kind of wanted to stop but my guardian angel kept messing with the internet again. <BR> <BR> <em>313</em> Took Sierra for a short walk. <BR> <BR> <em>24</em> Then the breeder called. I had e-ma... Thu, 3 Apr 2014 15:01:01 EST Well, I guess I will put it all out there Just had a total breakdown, lying on the floor balling where Utah passed. Finally getting up and getting on the internet. You know me... answers and evidence. <BR> <BR> The good news. I found out what the Doc must have said it was... <BR> <BR> Status epilepticus is a prolonged seizure or a series of seizures that occur continuously. This is a dire emergency situation that, if untreated, can lead to brain damage, hyperthermia (elevated body temperature) and even death. Dogs in status ep... Wed, 2 Apr 2014 12:55:15 EST Thank you again for your support. <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I think this does a pretty good job of describing how I feel. <BR> <BR> I think my DH is a bit worried. He said I need to keep exercising, bla bla bla... I told him I am. 3 miles Monday, 3.25 Tuesday and 3.5 today. Yeah me. Not. Whatever is what I feel. I am grateful to have my autopilot that gets me on the treadmill. I walked at a good pace on an incline. I even tried to get myself to jog but wasn't f... Wed, 2 Apr 2014 11:14:21 EST The Neurologist called & I am feeling a bit better at times. Well, I wrote down some note on things I was going to blog about but then what I had been waiting for happened. <BR> <BR> I was getting upset, I don't recall what triggered it but kept repeating 'Why hasn't the Doctor called'. Well, I calmed down then the Neurologist called. He said he was just back from a long weekend. <BR> <BR> He said that Utah likely went into a type of long lasting seizure. He of course had a name for it and said it is very rare but Utah would have gone into a lo... Tue, 1 Apr 2014 13:02:22 EST Thank you. Roller coster here I come. I took sleep aids (motrin PM) so I got sleep last night. I work up and came downstairs. I was/am feeling anger. <BR> <BR> To be clear... <BR> I HATE MY NEW ROUTINE! <BR> Not seeing that perfect face that brought me all my joy every day. <BR> I HATE IT and it makes me angry. <BR> and sad. <BR> HE WAS MINE, MINNE, MINE. <BR> This is how I feel. <BR> <BR> Maybe routine is not going to be as easy as I thought. DH went to work so I can explode. This good. I will try to let auto-pi... Mon, 31 Mar 2014 07:39:02 EST My good frineds, please help me. Please I feel I have to get this out. I feel so much pain, like I never dreamed I could possibly feel. When Aspen passed it hurt so much. But it was her time. <BR> <BR> It does NOT feel like it was Utah's time. I WAS/AM not ready! <BR> I was "ready" with Aspen. <BR> <BR> I want to literally explode, I feel the pressure in my entire body like I could break at the seams. I just had to blog to try to get some of it out of me. I can not believe for a moment I am typing this blog. Will I wak... Sun, 30 Mar 2014 05:11:28 EST