REMEMBER2BME's SparkPeople Blog REMEMBER2BME's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Thinking too much <em>3</em> Today I am thinking too much. So much in my head. <BR> <BR> Summer will be over in a heartbeat and we still do not know what is going on with DH's job. I am not sure what ew want to happen either. <BR> - He get fired? Likely not the case, but anything is possible. <BR> - He stays at the same school but the principal get transferred? <BR> - He gets transferred to a different school with high hopes that it is a much healthier, happier atmosphere but starting a new? <BR> <BR>... Sun, 26 Jun 2016 07:36:27 EST Wow, way to long since I blogged last Life is good. I am blessed. <BR> <BR> <em>433</em> <em>67</em> The most significant news is that we planned a mini vacation. We have not stayed over night anywhere in the last 5 years. I had 115k sky miles that I was either going lose or would need to pay $150 to keep. We looked at trip stop Jamaica or wherever. All of these were possible with that many miles but then there was the hotel stay and such. <BR> <BR> So..... we ended up using the miles for just a 2 day stay at a s... Mon, 13 Jun 2016 06:42:06 EST Life is good <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I am happy to report that Life is good. I think my positive attitude is mostly back. It only took 2 visits to the treadmill. Crazy huh? <BR> <BR> <em>315</em> I got on the treadmill Sunday and Monday. I did not have a goal in mind just walked and jogged until it seemed like time to stop. I took yesterday off because I was taking a long lunch. I did not want to take the time. <B... Wed, 25 May 2016 09:15:15 EST Rude awakening First I will back up a bit. Thursday was a challenge. I woke up stressed at 3:30 wondering if I should go to work. I blogged and decided to work from home. I then went in. Crazy. I know. It was a long day. Friday I went in as well and it was not quite as long. It was better. <BR> <BR> Yesterday was nice. I did not have the feeling of being rushed. I had mentioned to DH that I wanted to go to breakfast at some point so we went yesterday. Cracker Barrel. Great Pecan pancakes :) <BR... Sun, 22 May 2016 08:06:45 EST It is only 5:07 but I am ready to turn this day around Work at 3:30 stressed from work. Do I really need to go into the office or can I work here and try to get done a bunch of the work I did not get done yesterday. So I lay there and try to sleep, exhausted. <BR> <BR> I finally am ready to give in and give up at 4:25 when the alarm is supposed to go off. It is raining. I did not realize that it was raining so hard and it is going to continue. It will take forever (or feel like it) to get into work and home. Oh and there is a "happy hour... Thu, 19 May 2016 05:15:25 EST I have a new understanding of the challenges of losing weight Life happened. Stress happens. <BR> <BR> Life has been a whirlwind and I appreciate your checking on me. Let's see if there is nay way to keep this short and sweet. <BR> <BR> My DH is a grade school guidance counselor. He has been miserable at his job for 4 years due to the principle. The last straw happen a few weeks ago. My DH was pulled in with no notice to give teachers their "planning period". He did a Stranger Danger presentation of sorts that he had done many times over the... Wed, 18 May 2016 06:28:26 EST Again, not sure where to start Actually, I will be honest, I do know where to start. I am VERY thankful to hear that a great friend is remaining on Spark... for now at least. She brings up a great point though. I think it is in our power to make what we want of Spark if we are really ready. For me, I need love and support and I get that here. <BR> <BR> Anyway, lots of ups and down. There was another exposition but I again learned and clearly that is what I need to do. Additionally, I am reminding myself in these s... Thu, 28 Apr 2016 17:23:16 EST Not sure where to start Last weekend I think DH and I had a good conversation. I mentioned that I had gotten the names of some counselors and he was super surprised. He said that he did not think I/he did need a counselor. I told him that I take this seriously. I do not like this cycle where every several years he getting super unhappy (after things build and build) and then the divorce thought comes up. I do not want that. <BR> <BR> He said that I get tunnel vision. We have had this conversation a hundred t... Sun, 17 Apr 2016 08:20:36 EST Hello - taking a moment to actually blog a bit Well, I was going to run to the grocery this morning as I can never find the motivation at night. But I have a feeling I should just wait. I should take a few minutes at least to process/type. I have not really let myself think too much. It can be upsetting you know. It of course depends which voice in my head is speaking. <BR> <BR> I have not scheduled time with the counselor. How do I pick? Do I just randomly select one in my network? How much time do I take researching it? Who kn... Fri, 8 Apr 2016 07:54:36 EST I am here No time again this morning but I may have some time today to type up a blog. I don't know that i'll be in a place where I can do it though. Let's see if I can put this in a small nutshell. <BR> <BR> Saturday went really well. DH and I planed some trees. <BR> <BR> Sunday was a disaster. Dogs got out as I was trying to get their leashes on. This was at the acreage. TERRIBLE. Traveler when right to the street. We chased them down. Do car accidents or injuries. <BR> <BR> I then took th... Wed, 6 Apr 2016 04:59:29 EST TGIF I can't believe it is only 5:25. I miss my morning walk. It is raining. We will need to get a good walk in this morning because today Staples comes to deliver & put together an "office" chair for me. Also, Morris Jenkins comes to checkout the air conditioning. Just a routine check. The pups will be wild children. <BR> <BR> I am getting out of my funk as of yesterday. :) I so appreciate you guys just checking in. It helps. I need take pic of my new work area that I have created. I... Fri, 1 Apr 2016 05:33:13 EST Hello You guys are the best supporters. I really appreciate it. I am just in a funk. Work is a bit weird. I do best when I am real busy. That should start today. Also, I feel I have not been in the office in a while. It will help to get out of my daily routine. <BR> <BR> I hit 31 days of over 10k steps a day. I am proud of that. I was really killing it and being focused on fitness. Then... the weekends hit and I was feeling crummy. I slide downhill pretty quick when I am tired or not feel... Wed, 30 Mar 2016 04:55:08 EST Still here <img src=""> <BR> Thank you for checkin in on me my dear friends. You guys are the best, checking in or giving me easy cooking recipes. <BR> <BR> I have been busy working and also just trying to stay caught up with life. I am enjoying work but have had a few big meetings (once a week) where I work tooooo long prior. I need to get to sleep real early because I am doing a horrible job sleeping in the morning. ... Thu, 24 Mar 2016 16:43:53 EST Sunday I am good. I have been a bit up and down but good in general. The week ended in a busy way at work. It will likely be the same next week. I am enjoying it though and working to try to set better boundaries. It is best for me and also best for my relationship. My DH does not like when I work into the evening. <BR> <BR> What else? 1 Month until my birthday. <BR> <em>144</em> Do you buy yourself birthday presents? <BR> I am going to get myself the new iPhone. I currently have the ... Sun, 13 Mar 2016 16:35:14 EST I am better now I will get straight to the point. DH got home yesterday and told me that they did NOT renew his contract. I could not believe it. They are simply idiots. My DH is the best thing that has come to that school. The kids love him, the parents love him and the PTO love him. He still gets contacted by kids that have 'graduated' to the middle school. <BR> <BR> He is a grade school guidance counselor. No he does not just read to the kids or treat them like kids. He brings the kayak in and ... Sat, 5 Mar 2016 06:31:00 EST I am good <em>387</em> Work is good. It is keeping me real busy. <BR> <BR> <em>315</em> <em>313</em> <em>418</em> <em>320</em> Fitness is not bad. I am starting to get into a routine. <BR> <BR> - - Walk the pups every day at 5 or 5:30 - nothing new :) <BR> - - Get in the treadmill around 7 (after DH leaves for work) get in 2 miles (walking, jogging, whatever) <BR> - - Get to work by 8:30, that s at the kitchen table when working from home. <BR> <BR> No treadmill time figured in w... Wed, 2 Mar 2016 06:05:32 EST Happy Saturday! I am good. It has been a busy work week but I have been able to work from home for the most part. <BR> <BR> <em>48</em> This will be day 5 with my health push. there are 46 days until my birthday and I think I am lucky to be starting to push this early. I think I may need the time to get firmed up and loose these few miserable lbs. I want to be back in shape. I have simply not cared enough but now I find this weight and extra fat or whatever irritating. <BR> <BR> I am doing very... Sat, 27 Feb 2016 07:57:28 EST Happy Wednesday. Happy Wednesday. I am good... for the most part :) <BR> <BR> I am getting a bit irritated with my weight and lack on being tone. I defined yesterday was finally day 1 with getting more serious. I need to eat better and drink more water and kick up with fitness (just a bit). Yesterday was 50 days until my birthday. <BR> <BR> I have a goal each year to be at the same weight. I have considered letting 1 lb add. That is fine but the real key is to feel more fit again. My weight is not d... Wed, 24 Feb 2016 04:47:46 EST Happy Sunday! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I am grateful for you (my good friends), my pups, my wonderful DH, a job I really like, my health and my home. <BR> <BR> Happy Sunday morning. I am good. I did not get enough sleep last night and stayed pretty busy (but not at a crazy pace) yesterday. I ended up sleeping 10 hours last night. I may have just been catching up from the night before. But I think with being sick the week be... Sun, 21 Feb 2016 06:24:56 EST HUGS2U! I hope you are all doing well... if not so much, this is for you. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I am doing pretty darn good. I am happy to have my permanent employment. I enjoy my job. I am grateful to be ablate work from home and I seem to be getting even closer to my boy, Traveler. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> He is ove... Wed, 17 Feb 2016 18:33:51 EST Finally turned a corner Nope, not on weightless or anything like that. You know... I am finally feeling better. It is unbelievable to me that I actually have to completely STOP. It it not like I did that much over the weekend. <BR> <BR> I did grocery shopping, hit the jewelers, paid bills, upgraded the operating system on my phone and iPad, did laundry and such. It was non stop when I wanted some actual down time but not bad. DH however mentioned to me that I did work int the evenings last week and stress ha... Fri, 12 Feb 2016 06:09:57 EST Just venting, ignore me please Ok, I am crabby and it is not getting better. I tell myself to breathe but my DH irritates me so I am going to blog. I simply have a cold or something but it is making worn and having less patience and energy. <BR> <BR> So today.... I learn from yesterday. I will not sleep in until 6 and then walk the pups later. I did not walk them until 7:30 yesterday and it was a night,are (yes dramatizing) but what a pain in the rear when I did not have the energy or attitude to discipline Traveler ... Tue, 9 Feb 2016 06:28:05 EST TGIF <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Yesterday was another good but busy day. <BR> <em>313</em> Walked the pups after my coffee <BR> <em>387</em> off to work around 6:40 <BR> Meeting at 8:30 <BR> On the way home from work stopped at the grocery to pick up apples for a pot-luck that is today. Picked up other items of course, including chili. <BR> <BR> Got home around 6:15. <BR> Carried in the groceries. <BR> Fed the pu... Fri, 5 Feb 2016 05:20:35 EST Quick Blog - Happy Thursday <img src=""> <BR> <BR> It continues to be a busy week which is good. I just need to take the time to adjust my routine a bit. My boss, who I have always reported to as a consultant will soon be my real boss. This has changed the diatomic slightly. We are a bit more of a tighter team. This is good but... she is an evening person and I am a morning person. I start early and am fairly tired by end of day. <BR... Thu, 4 Feb 2016 04:52:25 EST Quick blog - Happy Tuesday! It was a busy but pretty good day yesterday. I did sign the job offer, now they are just doing the background check and such. The target start day as an employee is 2/16. Sounds good to me. <BR> <BR> I was able to throw in a turkey dinner for DH (from Harris Teeter) but my call ended up being an hour and a half. I pulled it out and threw it in the microwave to sit until I was off my call. DH seemed to enjoy it so I guess it was ok. I made myself a salad. I have not done that in a wh... Tue, 2 Feb 2016 04:59:31 EST Another good day. It was a good day. Breakfast at IHOP. I got the harvest grain pancakes. I ate 2 and have 2 here at home. I walked the pups before we left. We had a good day on the acreage. We got some work done but did not push. We were home by 3 or so. <BR> <BR> Walked the pups again. Folded laundry. I replied to LinkedIn messages I had received after wishing people a Happy New Year! It is a good way to say in touch with old co-workers and such. <BR> <BR> Oh and .... the button on my fitbit H... Sun, 31 Jan 2016 18:04:56 EST Remember to Be Grateful <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I am so VERY GRATEFUL! I love to hear the sound of my boy's deep breath behind me. It was quite the scare yesterday so me. Nothing horrible but definitely a wake up call. <BR> <BR> We had a real good day on the acreage. We have lots of piles of limbs and tress and such and we have a shredder of sorts that turns it all into mulch. This is what we did. I tied the pups to trees with lon... Sun, 31 Jan 2016 06:30:56 EST Yes, I said, Yeah me <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I am happy. Yesterday I got more info on the permanent position at TIAA-CREF. The person I currently report to worked through a process to get more $$ for this position, so the offer is high than expected. Additionally, <BR> - - annual bonus opportunity of 20% of my salary <BR> - - 401k - they match 3% <BR> - - Pension - they immediately start to put in approximately 11k annually and I ... Sat, 30 Jan 2016 06:15:14 EST Yeah me! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Yep, I got the job offer. I received an email this afternoon from the HR guy at TIAA-CREF. They are offering me the Project manager position under the person I am currently working for. <BR> <em>244</em> <em>250</em> They do not have the details yet, so I do not know $$ or anything but it is just VERY nice to know that they selected me. I do know it will be less than I am used to ... Thu, 28 Jan 2016 17:52:25 EST Sunday funday... who knows :) First thank you for your kind word on my last blog. It help me to blog I think. I did pretty good. It was a very busy work day. I barely got up. It is amazing to me. i got in less than 3000 steps. My steps are never that low, even when I am sick. Glad the day is over. <BR> <BR> Saturday, yesterday, was pretty good. I was able to take the pups for 3 walks despite the ice and snow that came Friday. Oh and I forgot to mention.... <BR> <em>40</em> <em>334</em> <em>213</em> DH ... Sun, 24 Jan 2016 07:29:03 EST Breathe Well, it is Friday and I thought I should blog real quick. It has rained and sleeted so it is a weird mix out there. I could go on. Who knows. I will work from home. <BR> <BR> It was a very busy work week and I liked it. I prefer being quite busy and feeling needed and useful. Maybe not quite this busy though. No biggie. Again, I could go on. <BR> <BR> But I am distracted. Today is the day. It is the 22nd, a year ago this evening Sierra passed. I feel it. Part of me really wi... Fri, 22 Jan 2016 05:38:52 EST Hello Tuesday Quick blog. Today is the start of the week for me. <BR> <BR> It was a good weekend. I got some stuff done. Groceries, laundry... <BR> Switched to Consumer Cellular. It will be a good savings. <BR> I cooked. Opps, I should have had to sit down first. Yes, I cooked. I am looking at 5 ingredient crock pot meals... just my speed. <BR> <BR> 2lb boneless beef chuck roast <BR> Onion <BR> Peper sause / tabasco <BR> diced fire roasted tomatoes <BR> cajun seasoning <BR> And TADA.... DH like... Tue, 19 Jan 2016 04:56:05 EST DH results are in Well the good news is that DH's numbers improved in 4 areas. They got worse in 2 and stayed the same in 1. <BR> <BR> Cholesterol - - from 219 to 206 (target 100-199) <BR> HDL - - from 50 to 48 (target more than 40-50) WooHoo! <BR> Sum Total - - from 114 to 111 (target 0-99) <BR> TRI - - from 274 to 236 (target 0-149) <BR> VLDL - - from 55 t o 47 (target 5-40) <BR> <BR> He was finally put on cholesterol meds the end of '09 (I think) after his cholesterol was 276 and Tri 455. I was upset... Sun, 17 Jan 2016 07:13:29 EST Friday <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Just kidding. No news yet. I am still waiting to hear about this permanent job. Who knows. I guess I am going to drag myself into the office today. Ug. I am such a whiner. It is just so nice to work from home and avoid the drive. Today it will be in the rain. My current boss wants up to see this speaker that is here today. I was not sure if I could simply listen and & that would be a... Fri, 15 Jan 2016 04:55:18 EST A bit of a funk I am in just bit of a funk. Not a big deal. It is nice to not to have to go into he office all 5 days this week. That was a bit much last week. I really enjoy being spoiled and being able to mix it up. <BR> <BR> I still have not heard back about the job. I think this is part of my funk. I just look forward to having this settled. I am hoping/thinking that I will get the permanent position job offer from my current boss. It will be a drop in pay for sure but a permanent position. I... Thu, 14 Jan 2016 04:46:54 EST Feeling sorrow? READ ME A friend posted this and it really hit home for me. I am hoping this helps a very, very special very very good friend of mine. <BR> <BR> <link><BR>with-grief/ </link> Wed, 13 Jan 2016 13:36:30 EST Continue to consider coffee a wonderful daily treat I just read this and it makes me happy. Coffee is the right thing for me, of course not necessarily everyone. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> The Final Scoop <BR> In moderation, caffeine can increase alertness, performance, productivity and may have some health benefits. Too much, however, can ove-stimulate the nervous system and bring about restlessness, irritability, and insomnia. Based on current evidenc... Sun, 10 Jan 2016 06:18:03 EST What a full week I think it was Monday that I got a job offer for a consulting position at Bank of America. It was a rate that was slightly better that what I am at now. My current contract end 3/31 so it is time to look. In this case, I actually was not looking but just received a phone call, interviewed and they made a quick decision. <BR> <BR> There is a permanent position at TIAA-CREF that I am interested in as well. However, it seemed like it may be a while before they figure out who they want to h... Sat, 9 Jan 2016 16:35:23 EST Happy New Year! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Yesterday I ended up making DH a nice meal. I bought a turkey breast that you put directly from the freezer into the oven. It actually turned out really good. I typically don't like turkey too much but it was really tasty. I made my Mom's recipe for green beans or something like it. It is the only way that I will eat them. Add bacon (turkey bacon this time and some bits) and vinegar. ... Fri, 1 Jan 2016 17:42:05 EST We MUST believe We'll be ok Well, not necessarily the blog I wanted to sent but it is what it is and maybe it will be important. Many of us have really done a good job hanging in there, pushing through and remaining positive (for the most part). Then..... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> we break into a million pieces and it feels like it will not stop. The pain of loss or mistakes or mistakes leading to loss is just so incredibly deep.... Thu, 31 Dec 2015 12:13:20 EST Happy Wednesday Hello there. I hope everyone is well. All this rain and flooding and snow and ice for some. We have more rain today. DH will be home today, skipping he acreage with all the rain. I got in 1 dog walk this morning and should be able to get in another. <BR> <BR> The pups got a new toy yesterday. I found these at Southern States. They were on sale and said 100% lifetime guarantee. Spot Play Strong Rubber Bone. Traveler loves it. <BR> <BR> <img src=" Wed, 30 Dec 2015 09:04:43 EST Happy Monday after Christmas I am finally starting to feel better. I was starting to feel sick on Christmas and today I am finally feeling better. I only did 1 walk yesterday and am trying to skip them all together today. It is a strict routine that I do for myself and for the pups. I feel guilty when I don't but I just do not know how to make this go away. I am hoping one more slow day will make this go away for good. <BR> <BR> DH has been going to the acreage a bit each day even thought it as been foggy and rainy... Mon, 28 Dec 2015 09:29:32 EST Well, today was a bit depressing We went to the acreage today. Right off, DH got frustrated with me. I was not in sync with him or something and the pups were barking some. He said, This is not relaxing and told me to go be with them and he will work. I took them away for a bit and came back and gave them each a raw hide. <BR> <BR> The other half of, this is not relaxing was... this is not like with Sierra. My heart broke. I know the pain all to well. I simple, I do NOT like this and nothing is going to change it. ... Sun, 20 Dec 2015 17:03:29 EST Where to start? I am good. I went into the office Monday and again yesterday. Ok, lets back up real quick. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> This is the shed. The sheeting for the roof is on now. I don't think I ever posted pictures. We now have to put up paper, drip plates (or whatever they are called) and of course shingles and a vent. I am not sure when that will happen. It is tucked in tight with the tarps. <BR> <BR>... Fri, 18 Dec 2015 17:19:58 EST Road trip Looks like DH and I are going to take a road trip today. I think this will be good for us. DH mentioned wanting to go out yesterday. i was not in the mood. Dinner is nice but going to a bar just is not that appealing to me anymore. I do however going to Charleston or Folly Beach and taking in the relaxed atmosphere. We will end up at a bar getting several drinks but it is just more of a mini vacation than I don't know what. <BR> <BR> It will be a long day but that's ok. We are not go... Sat, 12 Dec 2015 08:20:56 EST Hello Hello there. Yep, taking some time to blog. Yeah me! The week has been up and down a bit. I guess I should learn to expect this. It is life right?!? There are good and not so good parts to every single day. The key is to focus on the positives right? <BR> <BR> The last audio book I listened to is Furiously Happy. Interesting. <BR> - - Jenny Lawson will seize the strangest and most glorious moments of her life while she stares down her depression, severe anxiety, avoidant personali... Thu, 10 Dec 2015 18:11:44 EST Me again It was a pretty good day overall. <BR> <em>48</em> I was up early <BR> <em>313</em> Good walk with the pups. <BR> <em>48</em> I was out of the house by 6:35, so time to grab coffee and oatmeal before an 8:00 meeting. <BR> <em>24</em> We had what was supposed to be a big meeting today. I did not go as I would have wanted it but I am proud of myself for not interrupting and saying... hello time is ticking and we need to get on with it so you can make some decisions. It is not ... Mon, 7 Dec 2015 18:33:26 EST Finally I really need to get into the routine of blogging. I almost did not now because I am a bit distracted. DH was just yelling at Traveler for barking. He does bark a fair amount. He hears noises and barks. <BR> <BR> So... <em>429</em> It was good. It was a weird week. I took a good deal of Wednesday off. I had a hair appointment and the outlet mall is there so I stopped in. I needed a new pair of short boots. I found a wonderful pair. I will likely go back for another color. I a... Sun, 6 Dec 2015 17:52:08 EST Quick update I worked from home today. It was a bit more productive than the last 2 days. I have when I lack motivation or can't get on a rollllll. <BR> <BR> Today I was on the treadmill initially for a mile while it rained. Then took 3 walks with the pups. No short ones today either. All over 20 minutes :) <BR> <BR> I looked at some job positing but did NOT update my resume and did NOT look at the refinancing info. I think we are all set there. I need to understand all the closing costs and de... Thu, 19 Nov 2015 17:49:55 EST 10 days since I last blogged Hey there. How are ya? I am hangin in there... on a bit of a roller coaster at times but not getting thrown off :) <BR> <BR> I have actually taken down some notes thinking that I would have blogged sooner. I tried to think about what I was doing right, encouraging myself. <BR> - - Walks in the rain <BR> - - Eating an apple to curb my appetite. I read that it is good to do this maybe 45 minutes prior to meal time. <BR> - - I had a person at work pull me aside to tell me about the pro... Tue, 17 Nov 2015 18:40:58 EST