REJANERATION's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=REJANERATION REJANERATION's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Day 10 - 49, a good place http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5763332 Birthdays are inevitable, - if you are lucky! I would rather take the birthday than the alternative! <BR> <BR> I have been here for 49 years now. The number looks big but the time has passed quickly. I have mixed emotions about birthdays. I don't want to get older, but I do enjoy the festivities. This evening for example myself and hubbyand kids and their partners will be joining us in a restaurant to celebrate! There will be cake and the birthday song and candles and presents. I will be sur... Wed, 20 Aug 2014 06:05:15 EST Day 11 "Compare yourself to who you were yesterday" http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5762713 Read this quote in an article recently and it kind of stuck with me. <BR> <BR> I must admit that I do tend to compare myself with others upon occasion. Recently for example, I am comparing myself to other walkers and runners and the most recent is with one of my co-workers who just returned to work after having a tummy tuck! You can bounce a quarter on her tummy now! I find myself comparing myself to her and being envious of her flat tummy whereas mine still has bumps and a roll. She is the ... Tue, 19 Aug 2014 08:38:05 EST Day 13, 12 - single digits!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5761888 Single digits....I thought they were gone forever! <BR> <BR> Not so, I found out yesterday! <BR> <BR> Went shopping yesterday for shoes and accessories to accompany the dress I bought for my daughter's wedding! Ran into a mega sale. So, since fall is coming, I decided to try on a few things!!!........FRENZYYYYYYYYYYY <BR> <BR> That's what happened..........shopping frenzy!!! Got 3 pairs of pants, 5 tops, shoes, bracelet and earrings for 185.00!!!!!!!!! I did have a 25 dollar gift card tha... Mon, 18 Aug 2014 06:36:40 EST Day 14 - late nights do not equate with early morning runs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5760759 True statement! My ability to be adaptable is being called upon again today! <BR> <BR> Out to a big party last night!!! I was the designated driver ! Everyone loves the fact that I don't drink on those nights!! Haha <BR> We did dance a lot and we had a lovely time! Bed at 2 am!!! It's now 10 in the morning and I am still feeling tired and groggy!!! Unfortunately, I have a real hard time sleeping in!!! Sleeping in to me is staying in bed like I did this morning until 7:30! 5 and a half hour... Sat, 16 Aug 2014 09:17:29 EST Day 15 - fitness pal http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5760067 Just discovered something on the fitness pal app!!! <BR> <BR> At the end of the day, I hit a button that says complete your entry for the day and then I get a message that says if everyday was like this one, I would weigh ( a number) in 5 weeks! I discovered if I stayed within my calorie goal and ran for 30 minutes and walked at a slow pace for 2 hours, I would lose 15 lbs in 5 weeks!!! <BR> <BR> Now I am not sure if that is entirely true, but it sure is motivating to see!!! Fri, 15 Aug 2014 06:09:11 EST Day 16 - closing the gap! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5759397 My motivation,,,,nay,,,,my excitement for today that is already giving me goosebumps is the run I will do this afternoon after work! <BR> <BR> I will run around a lake that is close to work and I am pretty excited about it. You see my tracker tracks my route via GPS and then I can a see a red line superimposed on the map showing me where I ran! When I ran on Tuesday, the 30 minutes got me almost all the way around. There was a gap from my start to finish. <BR> <BR> Today I am closing the ga... Thu, 14 Aug 2014 06:46:10 EST Day 17- Lesson learned http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5758691 Yesterday I harped on and on about how I had to change things up and I was so resistant! Turns out everything went fine! I do feel like I have junped a hurdle though. Usually when I am faced with unwanted change, I will retreat and give up. This time, I saw it through and maneuvered around my problem. And I liked it!!! I actually got almost all the way around the lake in 30 mins so now I have a bit of a challenge in my mind....to get all the way!!! <BR> <BR> Lesson learned, although why I d... Wed, 13 Aug 2014 05:12:54 EST Day 18 - resistance to change/importance http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5758020 Have been in a tizzy since 5 am when I woke to more rain!!! More rain!!! Today is a running day. Early morning is my run time. Missed a run last week because of pouring rain, that I did make up though! <BR> <BR> I am a beginner runner, not one of those steadfast and true runners who will run in any weather. I considered running anyway but stopped myself. It's cold and wet and the pavement is slippery and I am deathly afraid of falling. I fell last year and my back is just now returning to no... Tue, 12 Aug 2014 06:08:27 EST Day 19- Moderation ( I did it) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5757291 I think after 300 days of this journey, I am finally learning moderation! I have always heard about it...lol...but was never able to manage it! <BR> <BR> Yesterday was a fabulous example! Did my run and then a mega walk with my sister,,,2.5 hours. All the calories synced to my app, lovely,,,had lots! <BR> <BR> Along the way of our walk, we got thirsty and stopped for fluids. There were chocolate bars there. For some reason I really wanted one. So I picked one out, after checking all the nut... Mon, 11 Aug 2014 05:33:28 EST Day 20 - progressing http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5756723 For the first time in a long time I feel like I am making progress. I pulled on my normal running top today and thought...wow this is looser!!! <BR> <BR> And I am loving fitness pal and strava! Just back from my run this morning and burned a realistic 300 ish calories according to strava app, over 1400 cals according to the sparkpeople tracker-----rolling eyes at sparkpeople....I wonder how many people are being misled by this stat!!! That tracker over estimates calories burned big time. <B... Sun, 10 Aug 2014 07:04:11 EST Day 21- obligation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5756142 Today is a run day!!!! Got everything ready last night! Clothes laid out! Sneakers ready to pull on! Headphones on the counter! All laid out so it is easier to run than to NOT run!!! Then, what happens??? Thunder lightening and heavy rain! I probably would go out in a little bit of rain, I have before! Not lightening though!!! Scary! <BR> <BR> The old me would have jumped with joy because I had an excellent excuse! Not the new me!!! The day is not over yet so I may get out there later in the... Sat, 9 Aug 2014 06:44:45 EST Day 22 - countdown is on!!!! 22 days til the wedding http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5755526 Things are coming together for the event. Daughter has a master board with dates and dealines and appointments. Wedding cake..aka cupcakes sorted on Monday. ( Mom,,aka ,,,me paying for that part,,lol) Practice har and make up coming up soon as well. Final dress fittings,,,,concluding the decorating with the decorator...final consultation with caterer....my birthday in the middle of it all...certainly is a hectic time and my son will be home on the 22 nd with his girlfriend as well.....a whole... Fri, 8 Aug 2014 05:28:02 EST day 23- rainy days http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5755122 Something to be said for rainy days. I have to say I am enjoying mine! It is so cozy. I always feel like making soup when it is like this. Brings me back to wanting to cook good ole stick to your rib meals full of vegetables and lean protiens. Healthy soups and stews!! the coolness and raininess of the day reminds me of fall and the harvest. Fresh delicious produce. <BR> <BR> Also the cool temps are much better for exercising and in particular running!!! pretty excited by that!!! <BR> 23 da... Thu, 7 Aug 2014 13:00:10 EST Day 24- new app syncs to fitness pal - so tired of sparkpeople http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5754180 Just found a couple of new apps. Pacer and Fitness pal. Pacer actually turns your phone into a pedometer and the automatically syncs the data to fitness pal. Fitness pal then adds the calories to your day and u can eat more.! And Pacer actually records the steps in numbers on your phone! No need to tap on it 5 times and more like the spark tracker...grrrrrr and no lights to translate like the tracker. No waiting for the tracker to upload forevvvveeerrrrrr!!!!! And Pacer works on all iphones!!... Wed, 6 Aug 2014 08:32:26 EST Day 25 - the dress, pic attached! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5753376 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/0/l2092049666.jpg">Shopping for the mother of the bride dress with my daughters last night. We had so much fun. They picked out a whole lot of dresses for me to try. Some I didn't want to but ended up being pleasantly surprised. I did buy a beautiful sky blue gown with a keyhole neck pattern and embellished waist. It looks fabulous! I could never have worn it last year. The dress is right to the floor length on me and looks even more dressy! <B... Tue, 5 Aug 2014 05:24:52 EST Day 26 - discovery of a fellow runner http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5752648 I am so delighted. I was at a family event Saturday night and my cousin and I started talking!! She started running in May!!!!!!!!!! And she is fanatical about it...It was so good to talk to someone about it that shares my interest. I have my entire family bored to death!!! All I talk about is running and running and how fast I am running or if I had a good run or a miserable run. As soon as someone says how are you today??? My response is always geared around running..."oh I am having a good... Mon, 4 Aug 2014 05:55:05 EST Day 27 - leg muscles http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5752078 I was sitting in a recliner yesterday and I flexed my leg for some reason. OMG there were muscles. I could see the muscles under my skin. I mean yes sure everyone has muscles but I never noticed mine like this before!!! It's like I have discovered a six pack of Abs in my calves!!! And then I started noticing other parts, on the outer thing for example. There are groups of muscles and when I move my leg I can see and feel the definition!!!! <BR> <BR> I am sooooo loving this!!!! <BR> <BR> If ... Sun, 3 Aug 2014 07:11:39 EST Day 28- new motivation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5751537 Definitely struggling with eating but I have found a new motivation. <BR> <BR> If you ask anyone around me what is important to me now, they will probably roll their eyes and say, "all she ever talks about is running running running" it is true. I have become consumed with it. I finished the couch to 5 k last week and I have been continuing the runs. <BR> <BR> I just downloaded a new app called strava and it is amazing! Tracks my runs through GPS. I now know how far I am running, how long i... Sat, 2 Aug 2014 08:01:20 EST Day 29 - struggling http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5751209 Struggling very much with my eating! Still tracking most of the time but other times I am not! It seems I just don't have the energy anymore to eat vegetables and more vegetables and fruit and fruit and lean protein and so on! And then all the planning that goes into it! Finding it very difficult now! It has been the hottest summer here since the 1800's and I am not interested in cooking in this heat! So much easier to just eat at a restaurant!! Still I do try to make better choices! Sigh <BR... Fri, 1 Aug 2014 16:36:13 EST day 30 - veins http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5750154 I hate veins, well not exactly what they are, I just hate seeing them through my skin. Unfortunately some of my weight loss has translated into having more prominent veins on my hands. While I do enjoy having skinnier hands, my wedding ring is also much looser and my fingers are less stubby, I do not enjoy having these more prominent veins. <BR> <BR> Ah well, if it means I look better over all I will take it...lol <BR> <BR> certainly not a reason to give up my new lifestyle! Thu, 31 Jul 2014 07:17:01 EST Day 31 - the music calls me http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5749396 While I was doing the couch to 5 k program, I downloaded a collection of very upbeat running songs. They have a very strong beat and are full of energy. I listen to them all the time while running and my steps fall in time with the tempo now!! <BR> <BR> Well today is supposed to be the hottest day of the year here in St. John's! Heat warnings have been issued and indeed it is already very warm and humid at 6:43 am, as I type! I was very worried about getting my run in today given the forecas... Wed, 30 Jul 2014 05:19:29 EST Day 32- The fabrication http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5748701 Yes...the time is nigh. Consulted with the eldest child yesterday, the one about to be wed about the frock I must select for the event. <BR> <BR> I will subject myself to the wiles of the dress shops next week. I am already in dread of the event but maybe I shall be surprised. <BR> <BR> However, it must be done! Whatever fabrics in whatever shape, the result will be the same. I will be me! Tue, 29 Jul 2014 06:35:41 EST Day 35, 34, 33 - sick/final run/ http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5747980 I feel very unwell. I am having the worst period of my life. I am cramping and super plus tampax is just a joke! There has fgot to be something else out there to help women at this stage of the game. I wish my gyno would just take out my uterus but she refuses!..I mean it is not like I want to use it to carry anyone anymore! <BR> <BR> I did get my run in on Saturday! The last scheduled one on the couch to 5 k program!!!! I actually smiled the whole way through it. I thought about the very f... Mon, 28 Jul 2014 06:43:31 EST Day 36 - tomorrow is 9 weeks later http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5746121 I have one run left to do to complete the couch to 5 k program. Actually tearing up here. I started off thinking I could not do it. I mean what is a fat 48 year old woman wih blood pressure issues and diabetes thinking???? Ha.....you, you think you can run!!!!!!!!!!!! <BR> <BR> Well I have proven that voice wrong. I have accomplished the 30 minute run goal twice now during my two previous runs, so I KNOW I can do it on the last day of week 9! <BR> <BR> I was going to do it this morning but ... Fri, 25 Jul 2014 05:18:08 EST Day 37- Weight is stuck http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5745419 I am surprised every week that my scales is not moving. Some days I am very surprised that is has not gone up even! The reno week for example...myself and hubby ate out every evening and I did not spare the calories and I am still the same. This week, I have been not too bad,,,and the scales is the same. I have been running 3 times a week for 9 weeks and the scales, while it did change by a few pounds in the first couple of weeks, now just stays the same. <BR> <BR> Sometimes I wonder if it i... Thu, 24 Jul 2014 04:56:43 EST day 38 - note to self, running makes me feel good!!!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5744682 Ok, yes I do feel better today! Right now that is but I didn't at 5:30 this morning. Had a bad sleep night again with the heat and humidity. Thankfully it was 15 degrees at 5:30! I literally dragged myself out of bed to go running. All the while this voice in my head was saying.."omg, I can't believe I am doing this, I can't believe in 5 minutes this body will be running"..and then when I hauled on the sneakers and clothing I had already laid out from the night before.....the voice went on..... Wed, 23 Jul 2014 06:07:33 EST day 39 - weather http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5743953 Some people long for the hot days of summer. I am NOT one of those. WE are actually in the middle of a hot humid summer in Newfoundland. Apparently we have broken records re temperature within the last few weeks and there is no relief in sight. <BR> <BR> I am struggling, I feel lethargic. I have a headache and just want to be a lump. It is very difficult to be a lump though, when you are in a running program. I did not have to run today but I am already dreading the upcoming one tomorrow mor... Tue, 22 Jul 2014 06:40:28 EST Day 40 - what can I do better today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5743241 I have become kinda of lax with all the things I am supposed to do along the way to ensure a successful journey. <BR> <BR> Time to get back to basics. I have started to see this journey as a means of weight loss but also as a way to care for my body so it will provide me with a long and healthy life. <BR> <BR> I started weighing and measuring all my food yesterday again. <BR> <BR> I am continuing that as well today! <BR> <BR> As well, today I will make sure I drink the eight cups of wate... Mon, 21 Jul 2014 08:29:06 EST Day 41- what will I do today? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5742510 I am on a journey to be healthier, to lose weight, to look better and to feel better! <BR> <BR> What will I do today to contribute to my goal? <BR> <BR> Everyday I am tracking my food intake and am getting my 10000 steps in. I want to do something different and to develop new habits that will work for me. I have been on this journey for a while and I have become a bit lazy with the whole effort! <BR> <BR> One of the things I can do for today is to measure my portion sizes exactly. I have b... Sun, 20 Jul 2014 05:50:12 EST Day 42 - golf widow http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5741955 Just had to write about this in my blog! <BR> <BR> This blog is not only serving as a motivation along my journey but as a chronicle of some of the important events in my life! <BR> <BR> This certainly qualifies as an important event, more so to my husband but as I share his life, it is important to me as well. He has been waiting two years to get a tee time on St. Andrews golf course in Scotland! He is an avid golfer and this is the ultimate golf experience for him. He left last night and ... Sat, 19 Jul 2014 08:35:34 EST Day 43 - crossroads http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5741234 I was waiting for this day. Everytime I have taken this trip, this journey to eat healthy and to look after my body, I arrive here. This time I am recognizing it however! <BR> <BR> I have observed that voice creeping into my head lately which says: <BR> <BR> " ok you are good enough, you look great, you are running now, you can eat that and why would you want to lose more weight? you have a husband who loves you and you can wear size large most times, the scales can't be right,,,I mean ho... Fri, 18 Jul 2014 05:53:41 EST Day 44 - Time http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5740536 Time is definitely running out. 44 days until the wedding and I don't have a dress yet!! <BR> <BR> I think shopping time is approaching. I am hoping this will be a happy event. <BR> <BR> Onward with my day, being hopeful. Thu, 17 Jul 2014 06:51:39 EST Day 45 - Feeling yucky http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5739838 Feeling yucky after a solid seven days of poor eating. The renovations are finally over! Contractor left last night. House is starting to feel normal again. yipppeeeeeeeee Reno looks amazing but it has taken its toll on my body. I actually feel heavy and lethargic and bloated. yesterday for dinner We ate deep fried chicken fingers and French fries!!! OMG after 10 mins I felt disgusting. It weighed heavy in my stomach. I felt awful and I still feel it today. It will be so good to get back to e... Wed, 16 Jul 2014 06:49:48 EST Day 46 - almost there http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5739090 Along the way I think I forget the reason why I started this blog in the first place.My daughter's wedding will take place on day 300 and this is the journey I set out on, to lose weight and to look nice in a dress for the pictures! <BR> <BR> So much has changed. I have 46 days to go and in the length of time it took me to get to this point, apx 250 days, I have changed my life and both my mental and physical self! <BR> <BR> I am not perfect. I am not the size 5 woman I wanted to get to but... Tue, 15 Jul 2014 05:57:19 EST Day 48, 47 - Renovations http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5738363 I figured I would record this because it has been part of my journey and it is derailing me. For the last week my house has been a total mess. It is for the greater good I know but for right now it is a total mess. My dining room is now in my living room as well and there are bits of wood and boxes of nails and screws and giant tools and stuff that I don't recognize all over the place. I am sitting here in a corner of the living room in the middle of it all. Everything is covered in dust. I t... Mon, 14 Jul 2014 06:49:37 EST Day 49 - fear http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5737141 Up running this morning again!!! While I do love the concept of the whole thing and I love the after effects, I do not enjoy the struggle!!! But my intent is to run 3 times a week until I am dead so I have to do this! When I woke this morning I did not want to get out of bed but fear made me get up! <BR> <BR> I want to do this so badly! Not because of weight loss or the health benefits just because I want to be that person that runs 3 times a week!! I want to be her!!! Whenever I wake like t... Sat, 12 Jul 2014 07:28:39 EST Day 50 - Everything normalizes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5736513 I read this somewhere a few weeks ago and it has been revolving around in my head ever since. I don't know about you but I tend to have behind thoughts. I think, behind, somewhere in my head where I am unaware, thoughts gets whirled around until I come to some conclusion and then I become aware of it. For example this quote. I read it a few weeks ago and it has surfaced fleetingly a few times on random occasions when walking/running. Well it has been flashing at me for the last day or so with... Fri, 11 Jul 2014 07:39:47 EST Day 51 - Summer heat http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5735875 For many many years I have dreaded summer! I always found the heat to be unbearable. I think this was in part due to my insistence on wearing bulky clothing and large sweaters to cover my body! <BR> <BR> Because of my weight loss and feeling a bit better about myself I am dressing quite differently this summer. I have purchased a bunch of little summer dresses and tops and no sweaters this year. I feel much more comfortable in this type of clothing!!! <BR> <BR> I am also dealing with the h... Thu, 10 Jul 2014 08:26:00 EST Day 52 - too late http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5735435 I think above all else this concept really scares me. I think lately I have been thinking a lot about how life winds down. In a blog a few days ago, I talked about how your world tends to contract and get smaller as life progresses beyond a certain point. All this walking and running really gets the thoughts flowing and today I was thinking, ok so I am 48. My life is still full of possibilities. All that I may dream can still be possible for me as long as I work towards it. I was thinking spe... Wed, 9 Jul 2014 15:02:40 EST day 53 - my mouth guard stopped my night/sleep eating http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5734311 Recently the dentist gave me a mouth guard because I have been clenching my jars and actually snapped a piece of my front tooth off!!! <BR> <BR> I kind of dreaded getting this thing because I thought my sleep would be severely disturbed. I might mention here that one of the worst eating habits I have is sleep eating. I wake up from a sleep usually after only a couple of hours and I am ravenous. All I want is a carby food!! I have been know to get up and eat three slices of plain bread and th... Tue, 8 Jul 2014 06:42:21 EST Day 55 and 54 - Individual world expansion and contraction http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5733587 yes, still obsessed with running. Week 7 started! Session one coming up either this evening or later tomorrow. But I digress....running allows me the alone time I crave to allow my mind to wander where it will I tend to have deep, silly, ironic thoughts!!! Sometimes all at once!!! <BR> <BR> My latest thought is about the world. The world can only be seen as an individual thing I think. The world to me is entirely different to what it is to someone else. It involves my perception of people a... Mon, 7 Jul 2014 07:56:53 EST Day 56 - 30/70 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5732624 I have heard that the formula for weight loss is 30 percent exercise and 70 percent food intake! <BR> <BR> That would mean I have at least mastered 30 percent! I am exercising every single day, running, walking, biking and strength training! It is one part of my life that has changed drastically!! No more couch potato for me! <BR> <BR> Unfortunately, 70 percent is mastering the food intake! I still struggle with this every single day and lately I have not been that successful! I do eat thi... Sat, 5 Jul 2014 17:06:07 EST Day 57 - spectators http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5731897 Oh but I can argue that it matters not to me regarding the thoughts of others, and I have vehemently on occasion! <BR> <BR> Here in my blog, which has always been an honest ground, I will not argue this point as it is something I have learned is contrary to truth! <BR> <BR> As my obsession with learning to run continues, it has proven a learning experience in other arenas of my life and I have had to come to terms with my own vanity!!! <BR> <BR> Yes I will say it here, I am vain! I care ... Fri, 4 Jul 2014 11:23:32 EST Day 58 - The nod http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5731119 Seems like a very long time ago that I used to ride a motorcycle with my ex-husband. I remember one time in particular when we went on an across the province trip! I was in my 20's then! Don't think I would do that today! I have a greater sense of my own mortality at 48!!! <BR> <BR> One thing that thrilled me at the time was the sense of comraderie with other bikers. Every time we saw another biker, there was a nod or a wave to acknowledge a fellow biker. I felt like a kid and I was in the ... Thu, 3 Jul 2014 08:13:36 EST day 59 - perception is reality http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5730741 read an article on this today. And I agree <BR> <BR> What I perceive becomes real. Where is reality? My reality is totally different than anyone elses. <BR> <BR> For example, When I am running along, gasping for air hunched over, I perceive myself as bounding along, tall thin and graceful, like a deer! And I become that person in my head. It is she I want to be and I am making her happen! She already exists in my head and she is starting to appear in the reality of other people as well!! ... Wed, 2 Jul 2014 17:18:07 EST Day 60- Hay! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5729623 Yes, I found my horse again! I had fallen off and he wandered away for a bit but I am back in the saddle. I wish I could just stay up there but it just seems inevitable that I will fall off. <BR> <BR> Using mental superglue now to stick my ass on there! Actually this is a good image. When I am tempted to stray I will imagine myself on that horse and being stuck to the saddle so I am unable to get off!!! <BR> <BR> Day one, week six of the couch to 5 k completed this morning. More stopping a... Tue, 1 Jul 2014 07:32:42 EST day 62, 61 - Horses http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5728795 As the song goes" the road is long with many a winding turn" <BR> <BR> And so goes the journey. Time to pick myself up and move on again. Weekend was craziness and so are my inlaws. good crazy though. They are the biggest bunch of funloving, warm and caring people you would ever meet!!! They can never do enough for you. They are just fabulous. <BR> Their lifestyle, well, when we are there, is not very supportive of early morning exercise for me or totally healthy eating! Although the box of... Mon, 30 Jun 2014 06:39:56 EST Day 63 - inlaws http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5727959 I have a huge family of in laws!!! My husband has 15 siblings! Most of them live 4 hours away so we don't get to spend a lot of time with them but when we do, we have an awesome time!!! Tonight we spent hours outside playing a game called washers and listening to music while a fire burned in the fire pit!!! Fun fun fun <BR> <BR> Luckily for all of those guys I am not drinking so I was the designated driver!!!! <BR> <BR> Sat, 28 Jun 2014 20:54:36 EST Day 64 - found my stride http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5726840 Ok yes, anyone looking at my blog has witnessed a growing obsession with my running program. I started off just by recording my thoughs about my weight loss journey and this is what it has morphed into!!! My running seems to be mentioned all the time. Today will be no different!!! <BR> <BR> This morning was the longest run yet. 20 mins nonstop. I was nervous and excited at the same time. Dreading it and looking forward to it all at once. I had found doing two eight minute sessions very chal... Fri, 27 Jun 2014 05:49:03 EST Day 65 - sometimes it is easier to not eat it http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5726306 I suffer a lot of guilt when I eat something unplanned that I know is very unhealthy for my body. I have also recently realized that after a few days of not sticking to my plan it really gets me down mentally as well. <BR> I start to feel like a failure and to question my ability to succeed and then the negative spiral continues. I find I start to feel bad about everything in my life, sluggish. The negativity really takes over. After a while I feel I have a black cloud hanging over me whereve... Thu, 26 Jun 2014 10:59:32 EST