REJANERATION's SparkPeople Blog REJANERATION's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Day 50 - Everything normalizes I read this somewhere a few weeks ago and it has been revolving around in my head ever since. I don't know about you but I tend to have behind thoughts. I think, behind, somewhere in my head where I am unaware, thoughts gets whirled around until I come to some conclusion and then I become aware of it. For example this quote. I read it a few weeks ago and it has surfaced fleetingly a few times on random occasions when walking/running. Well it has been flashing at me for the last day or so with... Fri, 11 Jul 2014 07:39:47 EST Day 51 - Summer heat For many many years I have dreaded summer! I always found the heat to be unbearable. I think this was in part due to my insistence on wearing bulky clothing and large sweaters to cover my body! <BR> <BR> Because of my weight loss and feeling a bit better about myself I am dressing quite differently this summer. I have purchased a bunch of little summer dresses and tops and no sweaters this year. I feel much more comfortable in this type of clothing!!! <BR> <BR> I am also dealing with the h... Thu, 10 Jul 2014 08:26:00 EST Day 52 - too late I think above all else this concept really scares me. I think lately I have been thinking a lot about how life winds down. In a blog a few days ago, I talked about how your world tends to contract and get smaller as life progresses beyond a certain point. All this walking and running really gets the thoughts flowing and today I was thinking, ok so I am 48. My life is still full of possibilities. All that I may dream can still be possible for me as long as I work towards it. I was thinking spe... Wed, 9 Jul 2014 15:02:40 EST day 53 - my mouth guard stopped my night/sleep eating Recently the dentist gave me a mouth guard because I have been clenching my jars and actually snapped a piece of my front tooth off!!! <BR> <BR> I kind of dreaded getting this thing because I thought my sleep would be severely disturbed. I might mention here that one of the worst eating habits I have is sleep eating. I wake up from a sleep usually after only a couple of hours and I am ravenous. All I want is a carby food!! I have been know to get up and eat three slices of plain bread and th... Tue, 8 Jul 2014 06:42:21 EST Day 55 and 54 - Individual world expansion and contraction yes, still obsessed with running. Week 7 started! Session one coming up either this evening or later tomorrow. But I digress....running allows me the alone time I crave to allow my mind to wander where it will I tend to have deep, silly, ironic thoughts!!! Sometimes all at once!!! <BR> <BR> My latest thought is about the world. The world can only be seen as an individual thing I think. The world to me is entirely different to what it is to someone else. It involves my perception of people a... Mon, 7 Jul 2014 07:56:53 EST Day 56 - 30/70 I have heard that the formula for weight loss is 30 percent exercise and 70 percent food intake! <BR> <BR> That would mean I have at least mastered 30 percent! I am exercising every single day, running, walking, biking and strength training! It is one part of my life that has changed drastically!! No more couch potato for me! <BR> <BR> Unfortunately, 70 percent is mastering the food intake! I still struggle with this every single day and lately I have not been that successful! I do eat thi... Sat, 5 Jul 2014 17:06:07 EST Day 57 - spectators Oh but I can argue that it matters not to me regarding the thoughts of others, and I have vehemently on occasion! <BR> <BR> Here in my blog, which has always been an honest ground, I will not argue this point as it is something I have learned is contrary to truth! <BR> <BR> As my obsession with learning to run continues, it has proven a learning experience in other arenas of my life and I have had to come to terms with my own vanity!!! <BR> <BR> Yes I will say it here, I am vain! I care ... Fri, 4 Jul 2014 11:23:32 EST Day 58 - The nod Seems like a very long time ago that I used to ride a motorcycle with my ex-husband. I remember one time in particular when we went on an across the province trip! I was in my 20's then! Don't think I would do that today! I have a greater sense of my own mortality at 48!!! <BR> <BR> One thing that thrilled me at the time was the sense of comraderie with other bikers. Every time we saw another biker, there was a nod or a wave to acknowledge a fellow biker. I felt like a kid and I was in the ... Thu, 3 Jul 2014 08:13:36 EST day 59 - perception is reality read an article on this today. And I agree <BR> <BR> What I perceive becomes real. Where is reality? My reality is totally different than anyone elses. <BR> <BR> For example, When I am running along, gasping for air hunched over, I perceive myself as bounding along, tall thin and graceful, like a deer! And I become that person in my head. It is she I want to be and I am making her happen! She already exists in my head and she is starting to appear in the reality of other people as well!! ... Wed, 2 Jul 2014 17:18:07 EST Day 60- Hay! Yes, I found my horse again! I had fallen off and he wandered away for a bit but I am back in the saddle. I wish I could just stay up there but it just seems inevitable that I will fall off. <BR> <BR> Using mental superglue now to stick my ass on there! Actually this is a good image. When I am tempted to stray I will imagine myself on that horse and being stuck to the saddle so I am unable to get off!!! <BR> <BR> Day one, week six of the couch to 5 k completed this morning. More stopping a... Tue, 1 Jul 2014 07:32:42 EST day 62, 61 - Horses As the song goes" the road is long with many a winding turn" <BR> <BR> And so goes the journey. Time to pick myself up and move on again. Weekend was craziness and so are my inlaws. good crazy though. They are the biggest bunch of funloving, warm and caring people you would ever meet!!! They can never do enough for you. They are just fabulous. <BR> Their lifestyle, well, when we are there, is not very supportive of early morning exercise for me or totally healthy eating! Although the box of... Mon, 30 Jun 2014 06:39:56 EST Day 63 - inlaws I have a huge family of in laws!!! My husband has 15 siblings! Most of them live 4 hours away so we don't get to spend a lot of time with them but when we do, we have an awesome time!!! Tonight we spent hours outside playing a game called washers and listening to music while a fire burned in the fire pit!!! Fun fun fun <BR> <BR> Luckily for all of those guys I am not drinking so I was the designated driver!!!! <BR> <BR> Sat, 28 Jun 2014 20:54:36 EST Day 64 - found my stride Ok yes, anyone looking at my blog has witnessed a growing obsession with my running program. I started off just by recording my thoughs about my weight loss journey and this is what it has morphed into!!! My running seems to be mentioned all the time. Today will be no different!!! <BR> <BR> This morning was the longest run yet. 20 mins nonstop. I was nervous and excited at the same time. Dreading it and looking forward to it all at once. I had found doing two eight minute sessions very chal... Fri, 27 Jun 2014 05:49:03 EST Day 65 - sometimes it is easier to not eat it I suffer a lot of guilt when I eat something unplanned that I know is very unhealthy for my body. I have also recently realized that after a few days of not sticking to my plan it really gets me down mentally as well. <BR> I start to feel like a failure and to question my ability to succeed and then the negative spiral continues. I find I start to feel bad about everything in my life, sluggish. The negativity really takes over. After a while I feel I have a black cloud hanging over me whereve... Thu, 26 Jun 2014 10:59:32 EST Day 66 - labor pains Still doing my running program. At week 5! Today I decided to run a different route, one I walk a lot. Amazing how much closer everything seems when you run, not walk!!! I looked up at one point and thought,,,wow I am all the way out here, it used to take me a long time to walk here but really it is so close!!! <BR> <BR> Today I had to run for 8 mins and then walk for five and then run for 8. I thought I would not make it but I kept repeating "stopping is not an option" and I did it. Was qu... Wed, 25 Jun 2014 05:56:35 EST Day 67 - new day new way Starting again at day 67. There have been many new starts along the way. <BR> <BR> If I go back and re read my blog I am sure there will be many times when I have fallen off the wagon just to wearily haul myself back up there and to start again! <BR> I know starting again only happens when I fall but better start again then stay fallen and all these fresh starts have resulted in a much smaller me than I was when I started this journey for the first start apx 250 days ago! <BR> <BR> So yes... Tue, 24 Jun 2014 05:53:16 EST Day 68 - It's almost over So today was a total food mess. Ate an excellent breakfast and then hubby surprised me by planning a day together for us. \we climbed a giant hill and took pics of a giant iceberg and then went for lunch. Sigh, chicken sandwich ( fried chicken on a bagel and a mountain of pasta salad) Also piced at some of hubby's bacon. Then we went to a movie. Yes, I had the popcorn and I added the buttery topping. Sigh <BR> <BR> weekend was bad, Saturday night was the bridal shower/ stagette for my daught... Mon, 23 Jun 2014 16:24:40 EST Day 69 - every single one day matters Ohhh boy have I been slipping up! Liking my new clothes and mirrors lately!!! <BR> <BR> Getting complacent about eating! <BR> <BR> At a pivotal point I think! I know what can happen! I know what I have to do! <BR> <BR> The siesta is over!!! Time to start tracking every morsel again! Thankfully I am running and biking a lot! Otherwise my weight would be creeping back!!! I am not losing anything because of my poor eating practices over the last few weeks. <BR> <BR> Recommitting right now!!... Sun, 22 Jun 2014 14:53:05 EST Day70- staggette Tonight is the staggette for Stephanie's wedding!!! <BR> <BR> The wedding was the catalyst for this whole journey!!! <BR> <BR> I am getting close to the actual event!! <BR> <BR> I have to stay the course and continue my efforts! Tonight I will do my best to stay the course but I know it will be challenging!!! <BR> <BR> One of the thnigs I will do is minimize the alcohol consumption by bringing perrier and tea bags!!! <BR> <BR> Wish me luck! Sat, 21 Jun 2014 09:02:21 EST Day 71 - "you look tiny' Yessssssssssss.....someone said that to me yesterday at work! I wore a new summer dress, kind of a flirty sleeveless one with a fun twirly bottom hem. It was form fitting and has stripes and I have heard the sometimes stripes make your body look broader but I decided to wear it anyway. I got so many compliments!!!! The best one was when one of my co-workers exclaimed,,,,OMG Janice you are so tiny now!!!!!!!!!!!!! <BR> <BR> Wouldn't be happier if I won the lottery!!! <BR> <BR> Fri, 20 Jun 2014 07:06:42 EST Day 72- the test....***** warning, this is gross******* Don't say I didn't warn you! <BR> <BR> For a long time I have been writing down the things I have noticed about my body as I proceed along my journey............Warning warning gross part coming up... <BR> <BR> I always did promise myself to be honest so I have to write about this observation. <BR> <BR> I have hanging fat ...omg pains me to write this....from my lower stomach area. Like a little apron, it kinda just sags there,,,,and this morning when I was brushing my teeth, I lifted it ... Thu, 19 Jun 2014 05:28:21 EST Day 73 - Not the Hulk Subconsciously I am still comparing myself to everyone else. Once upon a time I felt like the incredible hulk when I was in a room with a bunch of people. lets say a meeting!! I never really thought about it except that I felt bigger, like I was dwarfing some people with my bulk. <BR> <BR> That has changed. When I was in a meeting yesterday, I felt small, tiny even. I was sitting next to two people who I always considered average size and I actually felt tiny. There was no way I was dwarfin... Wed, 18 Jun 2014 05:59:36 EST Day 74 - a streak Haven't really did a streak before. I was just reading about it so I decided to do one formally and track it here is my blog. I read about a gentleman who hasn't had any sweet foods, ie cakes cookies chocolate for over 7 years!!! A longggggg time. <BR> <BR> So I am going to see how long I can last with my efforts to stay within my calorie range of 1550 cals. It should be very motivating! I did start yesterday and I decided to do it for just one day! Just one day is done! I was successful! So... Tue, 17 Jun 2014 05:39:29 EST day 75 - the cost of complacency Lots of shopping the last few weeks. I am wearning much smaller clothing and I am feeling good about myself again. It is around this time that I tend to give up, relax and have bite of this or a bite of that!!! I refer to eating only. My exercise program continues. I do that because I like how it makes me feel and I can feel the benefits immediately. Like that feeling I get as soon as I am finished my morning run time!!! Awesome!!!! <BR> <BR> Unfortunately, I do not have the same feeling abo... Mon, 16 Jun 2014 05:47:00 EST Day 76- just one day I am not doing that well with tracking lately! Instead I have been relying on my exercise program to win out over calories eaten! I know it does not work that way! So I am going to take the tracking one day at a time. Today is done so I will make a fresh start tomorrow! And no that does not mean I have a freebie until I wake up tomorrow morning!!! <BR> <BR> Just for tomorrow I will track every morsel I eat and I will stay within 1500 cals!! I can do that for just one day!!! Sun, 15 Jun 2014 18:05:48 EST Day 77 - being done I keep mentioning my running program in my blog!!! I started week 4 today! I had to run in 5 minute stretches!!!! It was challenging but I got through it! I keep telling myself that "stopping is not an option" and indeed it is not!!! But it is hard!!! <BR> <BR> I completed day 1 week 4 this morning and I have been kinda lazing around ever since!!! Just enjoying the day!! Out on the deck, watching tv, reading!! It's a great day!!! Once upon a time I felt guilty about sitting around and rela... Sat, 14 Jun 2014 12:12:23 EST day 78 -Fridays Fridays!!! Start of the weekend! And the day before the start of the next week in my running program! <BR> <BR> Up to 5 mins in a row of running tomorrow morning!!! Going to be challenging and exciting!!! <BR> <BR> The sun is shining and we are going to our cottage around the bay around noon!! <BR> <BR> Life is great !! Fri, 13 Jun 2014 10:27:12 EST Day 79 - tired and honest This is not a motivational blog today but it is an honest one! <BR> <BR> I feel tired and sick of it all. Just for today, I am sick to death of all the work that goes into this journey. I am sick of all the planning for meals. Sick of always tracking, sick of eating more damn vegetables, sick of fruit, sick of counting the grams of carbs and protien and fats, sick of water and sick of going to the supermarket to constantly buy produce. Yup, I am fed up and tired of it all. I wish someone wou... Thu, 12 Jun 2014 05:56:49 EST Day 80 - longer pants Another change I have noticed along the way of my journey is the length of my pants! <BR> <BR> I have a pair of navy pants...comfy fit kind..a bit stretchy, which gratefully accommodated my bulging parts!! I have had these pants for a number of years. I could manage to wear them in year one but then as what was wont to happen to my pants, I "grew" out of them. I could not wear them at all last year! <BR> <BR> This year when I started to lose weight, I tried them again! After a short time I ... Wed, 11 Jun 2014 09:17:53 EST Day 81 - leggings I never expected to wear leggings at all! I had bought some a long time ago and I did try to wear them on occasion but to say the least they were not flattering! My legs were way too big and chunky! Heck , I didn't have legs! I had tree trunks! Yeah, you know that tree in the park, the big one, haul a legging over it! Not pretty!!!! That was my legging experience! <BR> <BR> Lately I have noticed other people wearing them with boots and long tops and they have looked great!!! Ohhh that is so... Tue, 10 Jun 2014 14:09:54 EST Day 84, 83, 82 - being a bad girl I think my habits are getting worse. I have been at this so long now I am getting lax. I didn't even blog over the weekend. I have no excuse. I have always managed to find the time. To be honest, I didn't want to. It was too much trouble. <BR> <BR> I think I am hormonal. I just don't want to do anything! I don't want to eat healthy, I don't not want to not eat healthy. I don't want to exercise, I don't not want to exercise. I don't want to sleep. I don't not want to sleep. I don't want to l... Mon, 9 Jun 2014 08:49:46 EST Day 85 - out of plus size Shopping yesterday! Took various sizes into the dressing room! I used to be a 2x which was tight! Tried 1x, tried XXL, tried XL! Finally bought a size L dress!!! <BR> <BR> Wahoooooo <BR> <BR> No more plus for me!!! ( at least in that store) Fri, 6 Jun 2014 07:10:17 EST Day 86- why I called myself "Rejaneration" Annual leave day today. There are times I just need a day away (besides my reguar days away) from my clients. It always feels very decadent when I am home sitting around or doing whatever when I know I should be at work!!! yipppeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,That is me today! It is a "me" day! I am going to do whatever I want. So far on my agenda is exercise...done!!! just finished last day of week 2 of my learn to run program. week 3 starts on saturday morning. Exciting!!!!! I am doing my blog and then I w... Thu, 5 Jun 2014 07:03:05 EST Day 87 - That shopping feeling Shopping yesterday for the first time in a long time! Felt a bit strange, kind of hopeful but scared. <BR> I really did not know what sizes to try on. Went into one store, one of my regular ones and started trying XL. XL was always too tight before. I used to have to find plus versions size 16 or 18 usually. So I knew I had lost some weight so I decided to try XL. I had a lovely form fitting black dress to try. It was lovely so I puled it on and down over my boobs and it slide on. Stood back ... Wed, 4 Jun 2014 09:00:31 EST Day 88- negative reinforcement Wight loss has two key components, food and exercise! <BR> <BR> I really feel I have the whole exercise thing under control. I love it and I have a routine. I have one rest day, on Wednesday when I work til 6 and for the other days I am alternating biking intervals for 30 mins with my learn to run program, which is also 30 mins. Both activities do not net me my 10000 steps per day so I have continued my walking at work. (I actually don't consider this as a form of exercise anymore, it is ju... Tue, 3 Jun 2014 05:59:02 EST Day 89-grit Grit did it for me this morning. Had a sccheduled run/walk for early morning. was awake a lot last night with a cough and headache. Andddddddddd a snoring husband. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother going to bed for the amount of sleep I get. I keep waking and waking every 2 hours. First it was the snoring, I could hear it through the earplugs I always wear and then I staretd coughing and feeling headachy. I did not want to go out this morning. So the little voice's ok, you prob... Mon, 2 Jun 2014 05:39:59 EST Day 90 - Muscles yes I have them! Now I can feel them! When I run my hand down over my leg, I can feel the seperate muscles. My legs are just muscle mass with a tiny jiggly bit in by my inner thigh. <BR> <BR> My ass is actually shaping up as well. It feels hard too!!! Must be the running. I know it is very encouraging. <BR> <BR> I am carrying most of my weight now around my stomach area! Don't know if that will ever be as hard as my legs but it would be so awesome to have abs!!!! That would be the epitomy f... Sun, 1 Jun 2014 07:22:27 EST Day 91 - early morning exercise <img src="">Up again at 5:30 and out for my week 2 - day 1 of the couch to 5 k!!! Damn, I hate hills!!!lol Seriously though, it is difficult to hate anything or even be in a down mood after my runs!! I am on such a high when I am done. If I could put this feeling in a bottle I would make a fortune! Now, do not get me wrong, the run part is difficult and today it stepped up a notch in week 2 but afterwards, the feeling is like nothing else... Sat, 31 May 2014 05:47:35 EST Day 92 - Fat shoes I have fat shoes!!! No wonder! I also have fat feet! I actually did gain weight on my feet over the last few years! I gained a whole foot size. Honestly. Apparently it can happen. <BR> <BR> I have noticed it more lately though, because the weather is finally warming up here and I am digging out some summer footwear! Right away I notice that they have assumed a rounded kind of shape. You know the flat shoes that kind of bow out on each side. Yup, if you have them, you have fat shoes as well.... Fri, 30 May 2014 05:41:12 EST Day 93 - rings What a day! Up at 5:40 and out the door 10 mins later to complete week one of my couch to 5 k! It snowed on me while I puffed along! Life in Newfoundland!!! <BR> <BR> What is really exciting is looking at my activity tracker page just now and seeing a walk/run even recorded!!!!!!!! WOW I just can't believe I am doing this!! Apx 200 days ago I was a slug that ate and slept and sat all day at work and who lay on the couch at night!!! Now I am up at the crack of dawn doing a running program. O... Thu, 29 May 2014 05:52:31 EST Day 94- growing population I feel kind of bad writing this but I did swear to be honest so here it is! <BR> <BR> I guess for most of my life, I have been comparing myself to everyone else! When I see another woman it has always run through my mind, am I fatter than her? Is she fatter than me? Are we the same fattness??? And the general population has always looked skinnier than me! I think that is because I have always been aware of my size, although I have been in denial a lot! As I walked around I would notice, eve... Wed, 28 May 2014 05:42:41 EST Day 95 - pointy nose Ok this not only sounds odd, it really is! As I am losing weight, I have noticed many changes in my body! Of course every change is motivating! <BR> <BR> For the last few days I have noticed that my facial features are more pronounced, including my nose! It looks pointier, more slender! Previously it kind of looked fleshy and like a lump! It now looks longer and more slender! Lol I have lost weight from my nose!!! Lol who knew??? <BR> <BR> Weighed myself today! 184! A pound less!!! Slowly ... Tue, 27 May 2014 19:57:57 EST Day 95 - pointy nose Ok this not only sounds odd, it really is! As I am losing weight, I have noticed many changes in my body! If course every change is motivating! <BR> <BR> For the last few days I have noticed that my facial features are more pronounced, including my nose! It looks pointier, more slender! Previously it kind of looked fleshy and like a lump! It now looks longer and more slender! Lol I have lost weight from my nose!!! Lol who knew??? <BR> <BR> Weighed myself today! 184! A pound less!!! Slowly ... Tue, 27 May 2014 19:57:57 EST Day 96 - one of "those" people Many Many mornings I have looked out the window and saw "those" people. Sometimes 5:30 AM sometines 6 AM , sometimes later and I have always wanted to be one of them. Today I was!!!! OMG I am so excited. I was so excited last night that I could hardly sleep!!! I kept waking and thinking I will do it! I will do it!!! Up at 5:50 and out by 6!!! I joined the early morning running club!!!!!! It feels so good! I feel so accomplished!!!!! <BR> <BR> Now when I say I have joined the running club, I ... Mon, 26 May 2014 05:51:37 EST Day 97 - that red dress in the window Out for a mega walk with my sister! We walked and walked and walked as we usually do! We passed by a number of different shops and there was a dress!!! OMG a beautiful dress. Aform fitting sleeveless red dress with the hem in the back longer than the front. The mannequin was sporting a gold chunky necklace as well. It was so beautiful. I would so love to wear something like that at my daughters wedding. My sister thinks I can pull it off right now but I am dubious! I still have a long road ah... Sun, 25 May 2014 14:38:18 EST Day 98 - the countdown Ok counting down from 100 to 1 is very motivating! Putting in day 98 gives me a bit of an adrenalin rush! Number 1 is coming at me fast!!! A great motivation for sure! <BR> <BR> Did not weigh myself today because I am at the cabin and no scales! Got all the lights lit on my activity tracker! Completed day one of the couch to 5 k program! It was hard but not too bad! Then I biked for 12 miles just for fun!!! I will have a good eating day and will def stay within my 1550 cals!!! Feeling pretty... Sat, 24 May 2014 13:21:51 EST Day 99 - new beginnings again 99 days left! <BR> Weight 187 goal 165 <BR> 10000 steps done <BR> Biking intervals done <BR> Struggling with eating <BR> Starting couch to 5 k tomorrow!! <BR> <BR> Really excited about that, although it will be difficult!!! <BR> <BR> Am on my way (weigh) lol again!! Fri, 23 May 2014 17:58:38 EST Day 200- 2/3 of the way there - evaluate and plan Ok So I am at day 200!!! I am a different person that I was at day 1 when I started! Before I started my journey, I ate what I wanted, when I wanted. I drank wine all the time and rank to excess practically every weekend and I did zero activity. I was a train wreck waiting to happen. <BR> <BR> A lot has changed! I very very rarely consume alcohol and I plan and track my meals 99% of the time. I am still struggling to control my eating but I choose my foods wisely. I think about everything I ... Thu, 22 May 2014 21:10:36 EST day 199 - numbers The number on my blog is creeping upwards! On day 300 my daughter is getting married. So Far I have been counting up to 300! I will be 2/3 of the way there tomorrow. Time to take stock and see where I am and to evaluate what I am doing right and what I can change further! <BR> <BR> I know I have come a long way. I will ponder it today and blog on it tomorrow. <BR> <BR> Just for today though, I am going to focus on getting through this day on track within my calorie guidelines and by comple... Wed, 21 May 2014 05:46:05 EST Day 198 - Couch to 5 k I am so motivated by my success on the treadmill that I am about to embark on some outdoor running. I am a total beginner at this and I will be slow but I will do it. <BR> <BR> On Sunday, I did walk 5 mins and then run 5 mins for an hour on the treadmill. My legs are still feeling it today and it was difficult but it was also so amazing! <BR> <BR> I downloaded a couch to 5 k program and will start it when the rain stops! It might have to wait til later in the week. But I have all the tools.... Tue, 20 May 2014 07:25:19 EST