REJANERATION's SparkPeople Blog REJANERATION's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Thanks for the encouragement!!! Random kindness from strangers can be very powerful and I appreciate it so very much. <BR> <BR> One comment on my last blog intrigued me and I have thought of it often today. That is, taking the AA approach and just doing it for one day at a time. <BR> I have said this to myself several times today. So far so good, no trip ups yet! <BR> <BR> As well, it made me think of a time when I was also challenged to overcome an addiction to cigarettes. One of the concepts I could not deal with was th... Thu, 13 Jul 2017 13:29:14 EST Will I die fat???? So discouraged. <BR> <BR> Feeling like a failure again again again again again and history repeats itself. <BR> <BR> day one tomorrow. <BR> <BR> Going to track everything and stay within my 30 pt limit. I am a weight watcher now. Online that is! I refuse to be a cow, although I may resemble one, and be part of the herd that lines up on a designated night to be weighed. <BR> <BR> Right now, I feel failure is imminent again. <BR> <BR> Why do I bother???? <BR> <BR> I have answered that qu... Wed, 12 Jul 2017 13:29:49 EST What will be............. I am back but not 10 lbs lighter at all. Not any lighter in fact. Just the same, pretty much, according to the last time I weighed myself. ( and ....according to my pact to be honest with myself here- there is a reason I am writing now, vs Friday morning when I promised I would weigh myself) <BR> <BR> I am here because this journal has become somewhat of a chronicle to my life events. <BR> <BR> It started as a tool to assist me lose weight for my daughter's wedding two years ago and for aw... Wed, 31 Aug 2016 08:27:46 EST 100 days later 100 days ago.... <BR> <BR> My doctor told me my blood pressure was too high because it was 140 and climbing, my blood sugar readings had gone up by 2 percentage points and my liver enzymes were elevated. <BR> <BR> I have type II diabetes and high blood pressure. <BR> <BR> The next step was to increase my medications but I was going on vacation and she didn't want to change anything until I got back. She advised me to buy a blood pressure monitor and to start recording the readings when I ... Tue, 28 Jun 2016 11:35:13 EST Goal 1 - I am here and I have found the secret to my weight loss battle! My first goal was to get under 200 lbs. Done! <BR> <BR> I have had an epiphany! For years when I started "dieting" I suddenly went into eating as much as possible at every meal because I knew I would not see food again for hours later. 3 meals and few snacks was my motto. <BR> <BR> It didn't work! I had insane cravings and thought about food all the time and I ate...a lot! I was convinced I had addiction issues to food or some weird psychological thing going on. But after a couple of weeks ... Thu, 7 Apr 2016 13:34:56 EST Feeling Sheepish I am the lost lamb returning to the flock. The flock being my blog. <BR> <BR> What does one say after a hiatus? <BR> <BR> I am glad to be back and feel I am again on a new journey. Lessons learned and all that..blah blah <BR> <BR> I am 204.5lbs as of my new digital scale this morning. <BR> <BR> My first goal is to lose 4.5 lbs. <BR> <BR> My plan is: <BR> <BR> to move more ( get at least 10000 steps per day) <BR> to abstain from alcohol <BR> to stay within my 1200 a day calorie goal <B... Mon, 21 Mar 2016 07:10:44 EST A wrinkle in the whole weight loss experience - skinnier is not always better! I am 50 years old. My efforts at dieting are no longer attempts to garner that "model" look! I have outgrown that concept and my goal now is lower blood sugar and less medication. However, there is a part of me that anticipates a new healthy weight and a better view from the mirror. <BR> <BR> I have learned this week this is not always so! A co-worker of mine is in her 50's and was always my size, until this year! She went on some new diet consisting of drinking some concoction every day and... Thu, 12 Nov 2015 12:27:11 EST Week 10 - Healthy habit 10 "Stop lying to myself" Imagination can be a curse - as in my case. <BR> <BR> I tell myself lies all the time and then conjure reality from those lies. I am prone to creating an imaginary idealistic body and then using my imagination to convince myself that this is how I am realistically. <BR> <BR> The camera does not lie though. It is fantasy confronted with reality. I mean everyone else looks exactly as they look in pictures so am I to believe myself when I tell I don't really look like that....the ... Mon, 19 Oct 2015 14:42:15 EST Week 9 - Healthy Habit 9 Time to revisit what I am doing! <BR> <BR> Ultimately, I want to be healthier! I am 50, with type II diabetes and high blood pressure. <BR> <BR> I am struggling to maintain balance with making the best choices for my body while still living my life. I know what all the right choices are. I say I will make them all the time, but when the situation arises, I struggle. The social situation! Too many family events! Too much food, such temptation. I am human. I am still figuring out how to manag... Mon, 12 Oct 2015 17:59:39 EST Week 8 - healthy habit 8 I am doing ok! <BR> <BR> I am working on changing my habits every week and for the most part I am being successful! Of course I am not perfect and there are days when I do not do everything thing I have set out to do but I am more mindful of my actions so it is progress. <BR> <BR> Last week did not start well and I had to backtrack and change my habit because counting those calories threw me into an anxious head spin, so I started consciously eating 7 servings of fruit and vegetables a day... Mon, 5 Oct 2015 10:58:51 EST Week 7 - "Never too big..." ".... to admit I have made a mistake!" <BR> <BR> I started the healthy habit a week concept because restriction just does not work for me. I start to budget calories, nutrients, time, whatever I am restricting in my head and then I start to hoard whatever it is! Thankfully, this has not spilled over into things, so my house is very clean and tidy and I throw things out rather than keep them but, now I am thinking I value tidy and order and so I am hoarding that by keeping it so, even my desk... Tue, 29 Sep 2015 07:32:13 EST Healthy Habit 7 - week 7 - Do habits stick? It takes a long time to create a habit I am finding. My efforts are still that- efforts- so I guess they are not total habits yet. Or, are they? <BR> <BR> Life took me out of my norm this weekend! Family in town, travelling with them to my husband's hometown. A joyous, happy family reunion with late nights, alcohol, loads of carbs, no stationary bikes, and not a steel cut oat to be seen. <BR> <BR> Oh, how I enjoyed every minute. All my healthy habits were thrown out the window. What choic... Mon, 28 Sep 2015 08:44:49 EST Healthy Habit 6 - week 6 - medication, on time, everyday Changing habits is NOT easy! <BR> <BR> But, I have seen and felt the evidence that those habits are what got me to my current weight! <BR> <BR> I lost 4 pounds! I think I lost the majority of it last week when my habit was to not exceed my carbohydrate goals. And I did it! Except for three days - yesterday when I was at a huge bbq event. I practiced in my head what I was going to eat! I even allowed for extra carbs by saving them from the earlier part of my day. However, I regret to inform... Mon, 21 Sep 2015 06:59:38 EST Healthy habit 5 - week 5 - carbs I successfully did not eat after dinner last week for 5 out of the 7 days! Not bad, even if I do say myself! I was an after dinner snacker, but apparently not so much any more! This habit does require a constant awareness though! It is so easy to fall back into that old habit of mindless nighttime munching! I will certainly keep working on it though! Sometimes I think it is all in my head! Last week I made up my mind that I was just going to not do it and I did, for the most part! <BR> <BR>... Sun, 13 Sep 2015 09:04:11 EST Healthy habit number 4 Week 4 - healthy habit number 4 <BR> <BR> My new habit is not eating anything after my dinner meal except fruit or vegetables and/or tea or water. <BR> <BR> Doing good! <BR> <BR> I have maintained my no alcohol goal from week 1, my biking habit from week 2 - although there have been a few times I did not get to it on the day of, but then I made it up by doing two 30 minute sessions the next day, and I am still eating steel cut oats for my breakfasts during the week! <BR> <BR> I am feelin... Wed, 9 Sep 2015 13:46:56 EST 50 at 50 One healthy habit at a time. My new system involves changing my habits and accumulating the benefits along the way. <BR> <BR> Losing weight is hard! It involves a lot of change. I think that has always been part of my problem. I start out every Monday by swearing off food groups and by promising myself that this will be "the" week when I join the gym and eat nothing but vegetables so I can lose 50 lbs. <BR> <BR> Seriously, every Monday!!!!!!!! <BR> <BR> Every Monday I vow to go into starvation mode and hyper exercise... Wed, 2 Sep 2015 14:11:54 EST Blood sugar success!! Eating healthy and trying to move more can be a very disappointing experience if one measures success by the scale only! <BR> <BR> I have been on this eating healthy and moving plan for most of my life but I really kicked into gear last October when I decided I wanted to look better for my daughters wedding this past August ! Still, it has been a very difficult journey and I have continued it even after the wedding because I felt better and I like how I am starting to look in the mirror and... Mon, 10 Nov 2014 06:44:05 EST Check in Doing well! <BR> <BR> Moving more , eating within my limits and feeling happy! <BR> <BR> What more is there? Tue, 7 Oct 2014 18:05:27 EST Doing what makes me happy I am not perfect, although there are times I have aspired to be! But it really is a lot of pressure and when human weakness sets in, the feeling of failure that ensues is crushing!!! <BR> <BR> So, No more! <BR> <BR> I am going to do what makes me feel good and makes me happy! I have learned over the last several months that eating well and moving make me feel good! I do tend to slip on occasion but I have learned to enjoy the slips every now and then. I have learned to let go of guilt and t... Fri, 19 Sep 2014 13:59:21 EST Doing it is the right choice! I am blogging this as a reminder to me! <BR> <BR> I really struggled this morning with getting up and getting out there. I forgot how good running makes me feel! It wasn't my best run, it wasn't my worst! It just was and it was enough to make me happy with me again! <BR> <BR> When I feel down about my progress with my weight and my eating, a run pulls me right out of that funk! I feel alive and accomplished at the end!!! I want to keep that feeling. I don't know why my mind plays games wit... Tue, 16 Sep 2014 14:30:20 EST I feel fat, well fatter than usual! Slug like, slow, bloated, kind of nauseated but also like that train wreck, the one you just can't stop watching! I am on the train! <BR> <BR> I am screaming at myself to stop, I don't know what to do to stop the train. I just know I can't not watch it! I haven't tracked since Thursday. I know that was the last good day I had, I was in the country since then and we had visitors and did some partying. It is so difficult to suddenly stop that when you have been doing it for a few days! <BR> ... Sun, 14 Sep 2014 14:34:24 EST Movie moments This is just another reason to get out of that bed and run in the morning!!! <BR> <BR> On those mornings, I always have a "movie moment". <BR> <BR> I am smiling now just thinking about it. <BR> <BR> I am sure all of you can recall those scenes on tv or in the movies when someone is running or driving along and then a flock of birds fly up all around them! That happens to me on my running route. <BR> <BR> I guess early in the morning the birds are undisturbed and just flocked together, th... Wed, 10 Sep 2014 15:23:12 EST the pledge I remember as a child, we always had a lot of visitors at our house. My mother owned a grocery store attached to our house and she sold beer!!! She had an endless supply, or so it seemed to the men of the community. <BR> <BR> This unique circumstance led in part to a large number of visitors coming to our house. Of course, our family was a very hospitable one and there was always a lot of laughter! I cannot remember any visitor sitting there without a beverage if he/she wanted one. <BR> <... Mon, 8 Sep 2014 07:58:18 EST Mother, Daughter, Ant Once there was a mother. She was a young, fun mother! She always engaged her children in fun activities and was always open for jokes and laughter. <BR> <BR> One day, when her daughter was 10 ish, I suppose, she found a rubber ant lying on her kitchen counter. It was brown and about 4 inches long, with the antennae and legs all attached! Creepy! Being the fun loving mother she was, she decided to include her daughter in a joke. She placed it on her daughter's pillow that evening before the... Sun, 7 Sep 2014 07:21:40 EST 4 - mind over body I wonder how much of this whole effort is a mental thing vs a body thing. <BR> <BR> I was thinking this morning that tomorrow on Saturday, I would run for 5 km. I have done it once before recently so I know I can do it. Then I got to thinking, how much of that is mental. When I started running a couple of months ago, I started with run for one minute, walk for 1.5 mins. I have come a long way. I am just wondering what I needed to push more to get to the 5 k mark , mental or physical? Yes, I ... Fri, 5 Sep 2014 06:59:43 EST 3 -windsheild wipers Consistency works when you do it. <BR> <BR> I think this has been my problem and my benefit over the past year. <BR> <BR> Getting back to being honest with myself now. <BR> <BR> I have exercised consistently. I have maintained my walking initially and then the biking and then the running and now a combination of all three! I am definitely a consistent exerciser. <BR> <BR> I am not a consistent eater however. I have too many "blips" where I will have "just one" and this is derailing my suc... Thu, 4 Sep 2014 07:31:59 EST Day 2- I almost didn't Today was a mega struggle to get out of bed and to get out there for my run. as soon as I completed it, I was ecstatic! I felt incredible and I had the fastest run time ever. * mins and 9 secs per km!!! Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!! <BR> <BR> But, did I ever struggle with getting out there. Luckily for me, I had all my running gear foled in a pile on my dresser and my sneakers and headphones laid on the counter. It was easier for me to go than not to! But if I had had to dig through my closet for som... Wed, 3 Sep 2014 14:54:18 EST Counting up now day 1 - new beginnings Mental block! <BR> <BR> I have been writing in this blog for so long as a countdown to the wedding of my daughter that now I just don't know what to write! <BR> <BR> I am starting at the beginning again! Fresh slate! <BR> <BR> To be honest, I am a bit sick of setting goals and working towards losing weight and counting and counting calories consumed, calories expended. Taking a break is the wrong thing but I just feel right now that I need time to relax! <BR> <BR> Over the last year, I... Tue, 2 Sep 2014 19:51:09 EST The day after the end of my blog re:the wedding <img src=""> <BR> <BR> It's done! It's the morning after! It was a beautiful day, start to finish! I delivered my welcome speech to the groom perfectly! I actually recorded it in my blog a few days ago, if anyone is curious! I timed the punch lines perfectly and everyone thoroughly enjoyed it! Everyone was laughing and the presentation of the iron at the end had them rolling in their seats! The next speaker up was the dad of the groom ... Sun, 31 Aug 2014 06:46:27 EST The wedding day! The day has arrived! <BR> <BR> At the hair and make up appointment now! Waiting for the finishing touches on the bride! Everyone looks beautiful!!!! <BR> <BR> Home after this to put on my dress and then to head over to the bride's house!! The salon people just delivered some flowers! It's from the groom - the card said " to Stephanie, only 5 more hours until you make me the happiest man alive with only two words!" <BR> <BR> Everyone went : "awwwwwww" <BR> <BR> Guess there is no turning b... Sat, 30 Aug 2014 09:38:49 EST Day one – one day left I can't believe this day is here ! Today is day one! Just one day before my daughter's wedding! <BR> <BR> The weather is cooperating. Today it is raining but there is sun on the way for tomorrow! <BR> <BR> It seems like everything is ready! Caterers are confirmed, decorator confirmed, giant tent up! Flower crises from yesterday averted! Rehearsal finished, did a practice walk down the aisle last night!!! Very busy times! Not supposed to be a lot on the go today, except putting the favours... Fri, 29 Aug 2014 07:59:15 EST Day 2 - almost there! Today, tomorrow and then the big day! <BR> <BR> A lot is happening in a short period of time now! Wedding rehearsal tonight ! <BR> Tomorrow is last minute stuff, getting wedding favours ready and doing a final clean up and inspection of ..... <BR> <BR> Phone just was the bride to be...I have to run....some flower issue.....! <BR> <BR> Thu, 28 Aug 2014 07:43:10 EST Day 3 - Welcome speech to the groom. And that is my task on the evening of the wedding, to welcome the groom into our family. <BR> <BR> I will record it here. <BR> <BR> Good evening everyone. <BR> <BR> It is a wonderful occasion that brings us all together here to day. Congratulations Nick and Stephanie! <BR> <BR> My name is Janice and I am the mother of the bride, Stephanie. I am sure all of you can testify that she certainly is a truly beautiful bride. <BR> <BR> As her mom, I sometimes cannot believe where the time has go... Wed, 27 Aug 2014 07:18:39 EST Day 4 - getting busier 4 days til the wedding A lot of things starting to happen at the same time. Starting to feel a bit like a whirl wind. Starting to crave downtime. <BR> <BR> I guess my run time will have to do. Out again in the morning. <BR> <BR> Still have not found a purse or written my speech. <BR> Better get at it!!! Tue, 26 Aug 2014 11:06:15 EST Day 5 - good weather 5 days until the wedding! <BR> <BR> I thought my morning runs were over. I almost bought a gym membership and then the sun came back. <BR> <BR> All last week it was very dark and dreary in the morning and I felt down and unable to get out of bed so I resorted to running around the lake in the afternoons which really hurt me physically and mentally. I even ran on my mother's treadmill at one point because I was trying to fit it in. Suffice to say I was struggling with the whole thing. I even... Mon, 25 Aug 2014 06:56:38 EST Day 6 - circle of life Today I am reminded of life and how precious a gift it is! I only have one life and one body and I have to take care of it! <BR> <BR> Today I am attending a baby shower in the afternoon for a tiny baby that was born prematurely! He is doing fine now and it is out of the incubator and he will get home within the next month, hopefully! he has had a struggle to survive since he came into this world and thanks to the care he is receiving, he hopefully will be fine! <BR> <BR> This evening I wi... Sun, 24 Aug 2014 08:55:53 EST Day7 - my first 5 k Seven days until my beautiful daughter's wedding!! <BR> <BR> Thank you Stephanie for getting married because it was the announcement of that event apx 300 days ago that brought me to this day! Not only have you given me a son in law ( well in 7 days) but you have also given me much better health and a longer life! <BR> <BR> I guess it is like the circle of life, lol! I gave you life 31 years ago and now you are giving me a longer healthier one! <BR> <BR> This morning I decided that it w... Sat, 23 Aug 2014 07:41:09 EST Day 9, 8 - Brain Drain and Nothingness days! Everything just got to me yesterday. I woke, thinking ....ok, so now I am 49 and it all went down hill from there. I mean it is ok to be 49 on your actual birthday when there is cake and dinner out and birthday gifts and love but the first day after that is not so nice! You still are 49 but there are no cakes or gifts or dinners, it's just you in a 49 year old body. Then the brain drain begins! <BR> <BR> That's what I call it when the negative thinking spiral starts. I lay there in bed and c... Fri, 22 Aug 2014 07:04:04 EST Day 10 - 49, a good place Birthdays are inevitable, - if you are lucky! I would rather take the birthday than the alternative! <BR> <BR> I have been here for 49 years now. The number looks big but the time has passed quickly. I have mixed emotions about birthdays. I don't want to get older, but I do enjoy the festivities. This evening for example myself and hubbyand kids and their partners will be joining us in a restaurant to celebrate! There will be cake and the birthday song and candles and presents. I will be sur... Wed, 20 Aug 2014 06:05:15 EST Day 11 "Compare yourself to who you were yesterday" Read this quote in an article recently and it kind of stuck with me. <BR> <BR> I must admit that I do tend to compare myself with others upon occasion. Recently for example, I am comparing myself to other walkers and runners and the most recent is with one of my co-workers who just returned to work after having a tummy tuck! You can bounce a quarter on her tummy now! I find myself comparing myself to her and being envious of her flat tummy whereas mine still has bumps and a roll. She is the ... Tue, 19 Aug 2014 08:38:05 EST Day 13, 12 - single digits!!! Single digits....I thought they were gone forever! <BR> <BR> Not so, I found out yesterday! <BR> <BR> Went shopping yesterday for shoes and accessories to accompany the dress I bought for my daughter's wedding! Ran into a mega sale. So, since fall is coming, I decided to try on a few things!!!........FRENZYYYYYYYYYYY <BR> <BR> That's what frenzy!!! Got 3 pairs of pants, 5 tops, shoes, bracelet and earrings for 185.00!!!!!!!!! I did have a 25 dollar gift card tha... Mon, 18 Aug 2014 06:36:40 EST Day 14 - late nights do not equate with early morning runs True statement! My ability to be adaptable is being called upon again today! <BR> <BR> Out to a big party last night!!! I was the designated driver ! Everyone loves the fact that I don't drink on those nights!! Haha <BR> We did dance a lot and we had a lovely time! Bed at 2 am!!! It's now 10 in the morning and I am still feeling tired and groggy!!! Unfortunately, I have a real hard time sleeping in!!! Sleeping in to me is staying in bed like I did this morning until 7:30! 5 and a half hour... Sat, 16 Aug 2014 09:17:29 EST Day 15 - fitness pal Just discovered something on the fitness pal app!!! <BR> <BR> At the end of the day, I hit a button that says complete your entry for the day and then I get a message that says if everyday was like this one, I would weigh ( a number) in 5 weeks! I discovered if I stayed within my calorie goal and ran for 30 minutes and walked at a slow pace for 2 hours, I would lose 15 lbs in 5 weeks!!! <BR> <BR> Now I am not sure if that is entirely true, but it sure is motivating to see!!! Fri, 15 Aug 2014 06:09:11 EST Day 16 - closing the gap! My motivation,,,,nay,,,,my excitement for today that is already giving me goosebumps is the run I will do this afternoon after work! <BR> <BR> I will run around a lake that is close to work and I am pretty excited about it. You see my tracker tracks my route via GPS and then I can a see a red line superimposed on the map showing me where I ran! When I ran on Tuesday, the 30 minutes got me almost all the way around. There was a gap from my start to finish. <BR> <BR> Today I am closing the ga... Thu, 14 Aug 2014 06:46:10 EST Day 17- Lesson learned Yesterday I harped on and on about how I had to change things up and I was so resistant! Turns out everything went fine! I do feel like I have junped a hurdle though. Usually when I am faced with unwanted change, I will retreat and give up. This time, I saw it through and maneuvered around my problem. And I liked it!!! I actually got almost all the way around the lake in 30 mins so now I have a bit of a challenge in my get all the way!!! <BR> <BR> Lesson learned, although why I d... Wed, 13 Aug 2014 05:12:54 EST Day 18 - resistance to change/importance Have been in a tizzy since 5 am when I woke to more rain!!! More rain!!! Today is a running day. Early morning is my run time. Missed a run last week because of pouring rain, that I did make up though! <BR> <BR> I am a beginner runner, not one of those steadfast and true runners who will run in any weather. I considered running anyway but stopped myself. It's cold and wet and the pavement is slippery and I am deathly afraid of falling. I fell last year and my back is just now returning to no... Tue, 12 Aug 2014 06:08:27 EST Day 19- Moderation ( I did it) I think after 300 days of this journey, I am finally learning moderation! I have always heard about was never able to manage it! <BR> <BR> Yesterday was a fabulous example! Did my run and then a mega walk with my sister,,,2.5 hours. All the calories synced to my app, lovely,,,had lots! <BR> <BR> Along the way of our walk, we got thirsty and stopped for fluids. There were chocolate bars there. For some reason I really wanted one. So I picked one out, after checking all the nut... Mon, 11 Aug 2014 05:33:28 EST Day 20 - progressing For the first time in a long time I feel like I am making progress. I pulled on my normal running top today and this is looser!!! <BR> <BR> And I am loving fitness pal and strava! Just back from my run this morning and burned a realistic 300 ish calories according to strava app, over 1400 cals according to the sparkpeople tracker-----rolling eyes at sparkpeople....I wonder how many people are being misled by this stat!!! That tracker over estimates calories burned big time. <B... Sun, 10 Aug 2014 07:04:11 EST Day 21- obligation Today is a run day!!!! Got everything ready last night! Clothes laid out! Sneakers ready to pull on! Headphones on the counter! All laid out so it is easier to run than to NOT run!!! Then, what happens??? Thunder lightening and heavy rain! I probably would go out in a little bit of rain, I have before! Not lightening though!!! Scary! <BR> <BR> The old me would have jumped with joy because I had an excellent excuse! Not the new me!!! The day is not over yet so I may get out there later in the... Sat, 9 Aug 2014 06:44:45 EST Day 22 - countdown is on!!!! 22 days til the wedding Things are coming together for the event. Daughter has a master board with dates and dealines and appointments. Wedding cake..aka cupcakes sorted on Monday. ( Mom,,aka ,,,me paying for that part,,lol) Practice har and make up coming up soon as well. Final dress fittings,,,,concluding the decorating with the consultation with birthday in the middle of it all...certainly is a hectic time and my son will be home on the 22 nd with his girlfriend as well.....a whole... Fri, 8 Aug 2014 05:28:02 EST