RAININGDOWN's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=RAININGDOWN RAININGDOWN's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Getting back to it http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5975206 I'm nearing the end of the 6 week recovery period after having baby #2. I want to be turned loose so bad. Since getting home with baby this time, I've felt good. I love not being pregnant this time. I want to do everything. I want to reorganize the house, jump fully into exercise and diet changes. I want to be outside re-doing the yard. <BR> <BR> I hope I get the medical clearance at my appointment next week. I tried being good and resting. And I did for a little while. There was just so mu... Mon, 10 Aug 2015 10:06:51 EST Day 5 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5797065 Missed another day. But I'm not going to reset again yet. Let's just see what I can do and keep trying to do better. <BR> <BR> Today I church I had this realization. I know I'm at church. I'm supposed to be paying attention to what's going on. Oops. I'm on the worship band too... double oops. Nice example. But anyway. I had this realization that I want to be able to slide down a playground slide with my little one next year. He'll be walking by next spring. He'll be wanting to figure all th... Sun, 12 Oct 2014 21:26:20 EST Day 3 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5795802 Well, used my day off yesterday! Let's see if I can keep up for the rest of the week. <BR> <BR> I took a fall yesterday morning and hurt my shoulder and scratched up my elbow and knee. So I'm sore and stiff and moving slow today. I haven't exercised yesterday or today. I have done some cleaning around the house. <BR> <BR> Trying to drink more water today. I've realized I've barely drank any water for days. <BR> <BR> I'm struggling with my attitude recently. I don't know if I'm burned out ... Fri, 10 Oct 2014 11:25:27 EST Day 1 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5794729 So much for that streak. Reset. Try again. <BR> <BR> I for 2 weeks in a row I lost weight and then hit some weird bumps in the road and just got off. Now I'm back at my starting weight again. I only managed to journal for 3 days in a row. I'm realistic, I would consider 6 days on with one day off a streak still. I just want to jump on and make a few notes on thoughts about getting healthy or exercising or whatever is on my mind. Writing for 3 days and then nothing for well over a week. Ha - ... Wed, 8 Oct 2014 14:38:56 EST Day 3 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5788128 Weekends just throw me way off. I can have a pretty steady routine during the week with the hubby at work. I can have a very steady routine when the hubby's out of town. But weekends when he's home all day I'm just lost. I can manipulate those routines and find ways to tuck extras in. And I like it. <BR> <BR> On the weekends I know the hubby always has things that he wants to accomplish and many times he wants me involved or at minimum what he's doing effects my normal flow of things. So I ... Sat, 27 Sep 2014 22:41:31 EST Day 2 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5787609 So I'm back here. At least briefly. I am thinking about my fitness. I don't know how well this week is going to turn on on my progress of weight loss. But I'm hoping it turns out okay. <BR> <BR> I got my water intake in today. I think I did okay today as far as resisting cravings. I didn't exercise today. But I did get out to see some friends today, and with being a stay at home mom that's a good thing that I don't always get to do. <BR> <BR> I'm overall frustrated today. My husband start... Fri, 26 Sep 2014 22:23:58 EST Day 1 - trying to start a streak. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5786882 I need to make a change. I keep trying and failing. <BR> <BR> I'm going to start small and just try and keep it up, and add a little more to it as time goes on and let success build. <BR> <BR> Right now I want to blog daily. Drink 8 glasses of water a day. Weigh myself once a week - with the goal of losing 1 lb a week. I'm walking a couple of times a week, doing Pilates a couple of times a week. Chasing my nearly 11 month old. And cleaning house. <BR> <BR> Other things I would like to d... Thu, 25 Sep 2014 15:48:12 EST Watching Horders http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5744916 I read one of those bad eecards or whatever they're called on facebook or pinterest not too long ago. You know the ones that are commonly with a yellow or orange background and a pencil drawing of a person doing something on the side. This particular one said something to the effect of "Whenever I feel my house is dirty I watch hoarders and my house looks cleaner". <BR> <BR> So in my funny mind, I decide to look up hoarders on netflix and have been going through all of the episodes. The sh... Wed, 23 Jul 2014 11:26:56 EST Well that explains that. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5738923 I've been gaining weight at a pace that I am uncomfortable with and I fear that if I don't get it figured out soon, I'll be forced to buy a new wardrobe for all the wrong reasons. As it is my wardrobe is minimal - having gained weight and being a stay at home mom. <BR> <BR> That weight gain is a large factor in what brought me back to spark. I knew that I had to be eating too much and doing too little, that was a given. But to see it in black and white on the food tracker has been a total s... Mon, 14 Jul 2014 21:32:04 EST So It's Been A While http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5735689 So it's been a while to say the least. <BR> <BR> Finally got pregnant. Quit my job. Had a baby. Been a stay at home mom. Sweet little boy is now 8 months old. <BR> <BR> I've been struggling is an understatement. Having a baby changed the world in ways that I never imagined, but I'm still the same person with the same problems. I've gained 20 lbs since before I was pregnant. (I actually gained 40 with baby, then lost it after birth, then put the 20 back on.) <BR> <BR> Being a stay at home... Wed, 9 Jul 2014 23:08:05 EST Starting a positive up spin http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5261124 I've been stuck in a negative tail spin for way too long. That downward spiral that just keeps building up more momentum until you can't see your way out of it. <BR> <BR> I have to start a positive up spin. I have to find a way out of this. I just have to deliberately take the step, no matter how difficult and un-fun it may seem, and I have to do it. I have to have a win. <BR> <BR> Last night I cleaned my house. Like seriously one step short of a total deep clean, cleaned my house. For 4 ... Sat, 23 Feb 2013 14:04:57 EST A quick picture of my day today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5257644 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/5/l1524215708.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I did this about a half dozen times before I finally ate the tangerine. Wed, 20 Feb 2013 14:46:29 EST I am so out of it http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5257641 I know I want more for my life. <BR> <BR> But nothing seems really possible or even worth the effort to try to accomplish. <BR> <BR> I have totally undone all of my previous successes. <BR> <BR> I am most definitely struggling. In all areas of my life. Maybe this means I'm depressed and I need to seek help? <BR> <BR> I'm really struggling to get back in the game and get back on track. My life seems so contrary to what I really want for myself right now. <BR> <BR> How do you find motiv... Wed, 20 Feb 2013 14:44:35 EST Long rambling entry about getting back on the train, church tell all and the plan http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5116207 Alright, today was church. I had a good time. I gave a testimony today about where I am in my life. Why I'm involved in the Church. Why I'm involved in Celebrate recovery and what I've learned there. <BR> <BR> I am a food addict, and since I've been there I have learned that I am codependent. If you're interested in learning what that means here's a link that has good information, read both the women's and the men's not matter what you are both have very good information with different ways... Sun, 28 Oct 2012 23:38:42 EST Need to make Action http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5091992 I am Amanda. I am a salesman, well woman but whatever. It's a job that's way out of my comfort zone. It requires me to do it all, and want it. There's no skating by anymore. And man have I skated through my life. <BR> <BR> I've just never applied myself to much of anything that I've done, other than the people in my life, the relationships that I've been in. School came easy for me. I caught on to any job (other than my current one) very quickly. I've taught myself to knit, at one point to ... Mon, 8 Oct 2012 22:31:36 EST Oh http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5079862 Struggling emotionally. I kind of have fallen into a pit of depression. I've let myself become a passive player in my own life. Stuck in servitude to my own momentary comfort. I don't know how to get out of it. I don't know how I let myself get here. <BR> <BR> I don't know if it's exhaustion, or stress, or not taking enough time for myself or what. But I find myself not wanting to do a whole heck of a lot. <BR> <BR> I find myself too comfortable in the task at hand to move into something ... Sat, 29 Sep 2012 19:02:48 EST Out of sorts. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5074101 Warning - complaining. <BR> <BR> I spent most of last week traveling for training for my new job. Then I came back home and basically hit the ground running, whether I liked it our not. I haven't been able to get organized again. My husband has been working on home improvement projects while I was gone - so what that really translated to is disaster to the already usable living areas. <BR> <BR> I've kind of been in a bad mood for the last week, tired, crabby, resistant, not sleeping well,... Tue, 25 Sep 2012 08:51:18 EST Just a little bit of life http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5057127 I struggle when my husband travels. I just hate being apart. I got married to spend my life with him. And this summer it feels like I've hardly seen him. Don't get me wrong. I'm fine on my own. There's just something about all this traveling and all this in and out that strikes up my anxiety issues. Maybe I just feel unstable. I don't know. <BR> <BR> This particular bit of travel is particularly frustrating because he comes home on Sunday, and I leave on Sunday for a work training class and... Thu, 13 Sep 2012 06:33:11 EST Stressing. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5034719 *To update a previous blog - I did settle things out with my boss. He flipped out but won't admit it under the guise of "I have a business to think of". But I'm here and I'm still learning sales. But anyway back to today's stressor. <BR> <BR> I am finding myself in this panic attack of frustration in my new job. I feel like we don't have the basics down for the sales system, what products we're offering in what line or anything. Or at least if we do have them down somewhere, no one knows an... Tue, 28 Aug 2012 13:43:15 EST I'm sick of being nice. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5029614 I'm sick of being nice. So sick of always being the good considerate one. I'm done. <BR> <BR> My husband travels for work. A lot. And there's really no rhyme or reason to the scheduling of it. I'm sick of not making plans with my friends because I don't know if my husband is going to be home or if he's going to be gone or what his opinion will be about it or all that. <BR> <BR> I don't want to be gentle and peaceful and nice. <BR> <BR> I want to be happy and bubbly and passionate and fie... Fri, 24 Aug 2012 17:07:14 EST Well that didn't go as expected at all. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5015060 Alright, so with being so burned out and knowing that I don't have my head in a good place. And knowing from experience, if I just keeping going like I have been the results are not good. Like randomly exploding and quitting everything. <BR> <BR> So I asked for a few days off to destress. To get a bunch of the stuff that is bothering me done around the house and get a sense of control back in my life. To find that purpose and vision again in my life and in all that I do and have going on. T... Tue, 14 Aug 2012 12:01:35 EST So incredibly burned out. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5013527 I've had a really hard time trying to transition into my new job role. I was basically doing my old full time position and the new full time position at the same time. The requirements were way too much and the only thing that I did successfully was screw up two jobs at the same time. This whole process has been going on for 5 weeks now. <BR> <BR> The phones have slowed down dramatically and we're working on eliminating the old position. But my burn out just continues. I guess the first 3 w... Mon, 13 Aug 2012 12:22:09 EST Looking back and motivating myself now. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5012353 The increased energy level and the improved self-confidence are the two things I miss the most from being at a healthier weight. I've been on a bit of a roller coaster ride in my weight loss efforts. About 3 years ago I was down to about 212, I'm currently around 250 ish. For my height, 6', 212 is that line between obese and overweight. And I loved being there. <BR> <BR> My husband came home from deployment and it took us forever to find each other at the welcome home ceremony. I couldn'... Sun, 12 Aug 2012 17:10:31 EST Still longing for a difference. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5011053 The last few days have been pretty emotional for me. That longing to start our family has been really strong. <BR> <BR> I want to be healthy and strong. I want the PCOS under control. I want my weight under control. I want to spend time with my husband, and I want to be actively trying to start our family. It's a little hard to do any of that with the hubby traveling for work so much. <BR> <BR> All I can do is trust that God will provide and in His perfect timing. I need to trust Him, do e... Sat, 11 Aug 2012 15:06:34 EST Struggling tonight. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5005902 I'm having a hard time tonight. My husband was gone practically all of June a week and a half of July and Has been gone this whole first week of August and he's not sure exactly when he's coming home from this trip. It was supposed to be the end of this week, now it's the beginning of next. This isn't even the entirety of his travels for work this year. <BR> <BR> He's also in the Army Reserves Corps of Engineers and his unit meets an hour and a half away from where we live, so he's gone at ... Tue, 7 Aug 2012 23:00:22 EST Out of it http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5005359 I am just totally out of it at work today. I'm having a hard time engaging in my work. <BR> <BR> It's kind of nice because I'm not feeling the stress today. But I'm sure I will, because I know there are a million things that need to be done and it's just not clicking for me today. So when the time comes and they're all an urgent problem... then I'll feel the stress. And that anticipation of stress could stress me out if I let it. But not today. <BR> <BR> I'm kind of just waiting for the w... Tue, 7 Aug 2012 15:59:22 EST Melt down.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5003521 I wrote sometime last week about feeling like I was reaching a breaking point. And I still feel very much like it is coming, I just didn't realize all the steps and stages that were coming as I reached that point. <BR> <BR> Today was the short tempered frustrated rage. <BR> <BR> Before 9 am I was all ready cussed at by a customer. Reminded of 4 things that I haven't been able to do yet. Scuffed my toe on the floor and ripped the sole off enough that I have talking shoes, I guess that's wh... Mon, 6 Aug 2012 13:17:51 EST Stress Goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5002701 My week 1 goals are: <BR> <BR> 1) Live in the moment. No stressing about tomorrow or the future or dumb things I did in the past. <BR> <BR> 2) Journal regularly about what's stressing me. Goal 3 times a week. <BR> <BR> 3) Manage my work stress level by setting boundaries and not giving into others ideas of what I should be doing. Or make work decisions regarding work that is best for my stress levels. <BR> <BR> 4) Exercise regularly, even if it's only 10 minute walk. 4 to 5 times a week.... Sun, 5 Aug 2012 23:20:03 EST I'm quitting worrying. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4999413 Alright, so I got payroll done, and my boss took those sales projects. I decided that I needed some down time. I feel so wore out. So, I'm not trying to do sales or even really learn sales at this point - as my boss suggested, he wanted me to just focus on the front desk. And it helps that the calls died off. It's August, we've been running 200% with the heat and apparently we've fixed every A/C in town, at least that the customer's want fixed. It's also August, in Michigan, so people know th... Fri, 3 Aug 2012 11:10:25 EST Empty. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4996328 About 7 years ago now I had what I called at the time a "breakdown". I was so involved, in so many places, doing so much. Then I realized that I was feeling stressed out and worn down. So I started trying to say no to things, but it was like no one was hearing me, they wouldn't find anyone else to do the things they were asking of me. They just committed me to it anyway. I couldn't find an outlet for my stress. I couldn't find a spare moment that I didn't feel guilty about taking away from al... Wed, 1 Aug 2012 12:15:35 EST Adjustments http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4896414 I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by all of the adjustments going on in my life. I am a strong Type A personality and I want to have everything planned and under control, at least that's my natural tendency. I understand the beauty and the peace that comes from accepting the insecurity of not having every moment under extreme control, and I would love to relax into that kind of mind set. But that is not my nature. <BR> <BR> Back to adjusting to a healthy life style <BR> Adjusting to my docto... Thu, 24 May 2012 16:16:09 EST Been a while. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4895196 Wow, been a long while. 5 months, at least sense I blogged. <BR> <BR> I got really involved with my church. Backed out of on going challenges on SparkPeople at the time because it was taking up so much time. Backed away from Spark entirely for a while because it was consuming so much time. I thought I had it together enough that I could keep going. Ha.... yeah, to build a bookcase, just because you know how to do it doesn't mean you can still do it without your tools. So it goes with buildin... Wed, 23 May 2012 20:51:53 EST My dreams, my goals, my plans. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4674850 Prompted by BLC 18: Week 1 <BR> <BR> In 12 weeks I want to be fregged out, not stressed out, and running again. <BR> <BR> 1. I want to be eating fruits and veggies like it was easy - and not having to force myself into it. At LEAST 5 a day (so filling and low in calories!!). And like it. <BR> <BR> 2. I want to find ways to reduce my stress load, manage my stress better, and learn how to feel refreshed instead of more of the crazy, stressed, same on my days off. <BR> <BR> 3. I want to be... Wed, 11 Jan 2012 21:20:49 EST Frustrations in the family goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4669874 So my husband and I want to start having children, we've been trying but my cycles are really long, like 1 every 4 months, been checked out basically docs think the weight is a big factor but more about that another day. We've also bought a forclosed home a year ago, spent about 10 months fixing it up about 6 months w/ us living here. Now we're trying to get it refinanced and get his family (that was totally awesome and generous to help us buy the placed) off the title and have it be ours. We... Mon, 9 Jan 2012 21:20:34 EST Blah Week so far http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4660381 This week just doesn't seem all sparkly and shiny like a new year. So far it has been either aggravating or just blah. It's been either super crazy, drama filled at work or just nothing. I'm either super focused, maxed out, doing way too much nearing burn out or super space cadet, have to force myself to accomplish anything. <BR> <BR> It's just been a strange week. Nothing really fancy or nice or noteworthy has happened. Yeah, we did get our refrigerator, finally, but not without continuing... Thu, 5 Jan 2012 19:49:13 EST general updates and Go buy The Spark book if you haven't already http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4657971 Got some sleep last night thankfully. Was in be asleep by 7:45pm. I stirred a bit around 2:30, just over the 6 hr mark. Sad, my body's so used to only getting 6 hrs of sleep that I wake myself up then. So after I checked the clock, I just went right back to sleep until the alarm went off at 4:30am. Then I just bounced out of bed with a smile on my face (that doesn't happen very often). Turned on some music, worked through my Pilates routine. When my husband got up at about 5:10am I was perky ... Wed, 4 Jan 2012 20:33:43 EST Exhausted. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4655046 I am exhausted today. When to bed about 10:45. Husband came home just as I was making it to bed. Then had to get up and go to the bathroom about 11:15 and hear the hubby's phone make the text message noise. I woke him up because it was work. Then had to listen to the texting going back and forth for a while. Lovely. <BR> <BR> Then I just couldn't sleep. <BR> <BR> Kept waking up. Sore, couldn't get comfortable. Mind running crazy. Stressing about work today and screwing up yesterday. Just ... Tue, 3 Jan 2012 19:27:31 EST What a Frustrating Day. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4652451 Just a very frustrating day. I had the day off of work. But apparently the phone system didn't stay forwarded to the answering service. Unfortunately, I just found out. There's nothing I can do now. In fact they're already transferred back to the answering service. But I'm still stressing. <BR> <BR> I was also supposed to have a new refrigerator delivered today. The truck got cancelled due to the weather. No one called to let me know. My appointment was supposed to be between 12 & 2 today. S... Mon, 2 Jan 2012 21:02:40 EST What if I change my life? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4649412 What if I stop wasting my time on things that do not satisfy? <BR> What if I didn't have to buy my clothes at Lane Bryant? <BR> What if I actually did my to do list? <BR> If I quit seeing it as a to-maybe-should-sometime-if-I-ever-feel-li<BR>ke-it list? <BR> What if I actually lost enough weight that my mom was cautioning me again about loosing too much weight? <BR> What if I didn't listen when she said that <BR> What if my heels didn't hurt any more? <BR> What if I was flexible eno... Sun, 1 Jan 2012 20:09:59 EST Just a rambling long journal entry. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4647392 I have been feeling pretty out of sorts recently. Weight loss has taken a back seat. Not tracking food. Barely tracking anything. <BR> <BR> I'm burnt out at work. I get easily distracted and honestly could care less about my productivity. <BR> <BR> All I feel is pressure, pressure from everywhere to be everything for everyone, to do everything for everyone. To give and give and give and get hardly anything in return, if that. <BR> <BR> If I do a good job at work, I get a paycheck and mo... Sat, 31 Dec 2011 23:11:39 EST Rant of Frustration http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4622532 For me the most consistent way for me to work out is to do it first thing in the morning. No I don't like getting up super early. But usually I'm half way through my workout before I realize I'm up. <BR> <BR> If I wait and work out after work, usually there's a hundred million other things that need to be done or get in the way or tragically delay my workout. <BR> <BR> My husbands job starts at 7:00, my job starts at 7:30. <BR> <BR> I work about 25 minutes west of our home. My husband work... Mon, 12 Dec 2011 10:37:47 EST This week has been a wash http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4621930 I didn't do a whole lot for exercise this week. I surely didn't do a whole lot of disciplined eating. Yuck. Crazy schedule. Crazy stress. Crazy week. <BR> <BR> My perspective has gotten all skewed this week. <BR> <BR> I need to get healthy and deal with all the emotional issues that I've been hiding from behind my weight and food. It's only going to make me a better person, wife & friend. <BR> <BR> I need to figure out how to have that "relaxed and satisfied" feeling without needing food ... Sun, 11 Dec 2011 22:12:39 EST Lacking Motivation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4610824 Today I am lacking motivation. <BR> <BR> I'm just tired. <BR> <BR> The cold weather and the snow are finally here. It makes it so much harder to get outside when I'm afraid that I'm going to slip. And my fears are not unrealistic. Because Thursday one full day after the first good snow storm of the year. I tried to make the 1/2 mile walk from Curves to my work and I didn't even make it a block before I was down hard on my knee. That wasn't the first fall either, just the first one that rea... Sat, 3 Dec 2011 16:46:50 EST December. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4609879 Nov 1, 2011 - 247.0 <BR> Dec 1, 2011 - 244.6. <BR> Goal for January 1, 2012 - 234.6 Reissuing the 10 lb challenge. <BR> <BR> What went wrong. Too high calorie intake, not enough cardio. <BR> <BR> I feel like my body is still changing. Still developing muscle tone. Some weight is gone. That's good. I also I've been recording ALL my activity in the cardio tracker. Why? Because when I was reading about how spark set up the nutritional needs - they assume that you are inactive. So I was record... Fri, 2 Dec 2011 21:28:34 EST Food is my weakness http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4601105 Food is my weakness. Awareness is my defense. <BR> <BR> I am currently obese. I got here from eating too much and not moving enough. <BR> <BR> Mindless eating was a big part of getting me to my highest weight. I have to be aware of what I'm eating, what a cup of food looks like, in order to defend against my weaknesses, my tendency to over eat. <BR> <BR> Measuring my food. Counting calories. Looking up nutrition content on restaurant food. This is what I have to do for the life that I w... Sun, 27 Nov 2011 11:29:29 EST If you don't want to be fat... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4600537 This is my realization for the day. <BR> <BR> (If this doesn't apply to you, I'm sorry. This is pulled from my life and my experiences.) <BR> <BR> If you don't want to be fat, then don't act fat. <BR> <BR> Think about it. How many "fat" people do you know that spend their entire weekend sitting inside watching tv and playing on the computer, barely keeping up the dishes let alone the house maintenance. <BR> <BR> The fitter than I am neighbor outside working on their yard. <BR> The I wi... Sat, 26 Nov 2011 22:11:19 EST Slow Losses. Let's get real. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4599160 5 months. 20 lbs. <BR> <BR> Don't get me wrong. I love that I lost 20 lbs. I really do. <BR> <BR> But 5 months? I would love to be doing this a little bit faster. It's been actually 24 weeks. That's less than a pound a week. <BR> <BR> I also set a November goal and it doesn't look like I'm going to make that by a long shot. Right now - my most recent "official" weigh in makes it 3 lb loss - goal was 10. <BR> <BR> Why have I not been able to achieve AT LEAST a pound a week? Why can't I b... Fri, 25 Nov 2011 16:55:23 EST Hidden, hiding. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4590535 I've gotten sick. Cold or something. It's totally killed my energy. I'm just dragging all day. Sometimes when I get sick, it doesn't completely wipe me out and I just exercise through it, sure the intensity is less. But I keep going. So this time being sick frustrates me like crazy because of that very reason. I just can't bring myself to exercise today. <BR> <BR> I'm a team leader on a winter challenge. And there's bonus points up for grabs for being active 40 minutes a day for these 7 days... Fri, 18 Nov 2011 19:59:13 EST Eating bad... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4575329 Alright - my biggest problem as far as my eating is night time. After I come home from work. Snacking. Eating too much at dinner, adding dessert to it. <BR> <BR> Strategies that I can think of - instead of planning on making only enough for dinner tonight, then actually making more than wanted/needed then feeling obligated to eat it all. I need to plan on saving some. <BR> <BR> Saving some means building the dish in such a way that it will save. Salad, don't add dressing, meats or things ... Tue, 8 Nov 2011 21:20:14 EST Blah http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4573616 Lack of sleep is a big, big problem for me. <BR> <BR> Hubby had to meet his boss for a work trip at 4 am this morning. Of course they couldn't meet somewhere that he could park his truck. I get to drop him off and pick him up. I love my husband. I really do, but lack of sleep doesn't help my weight loss at all. <BR> <BR> This makes the 3rd straight day of little exercise, up too early and bad eating. Here's to a better day tomorrow!! <BR> <BR> Can't blog any longer - cutting out to go to... Mon, 7 Nov 2011 21:21:01 EST