RAECYNJA's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=RAECYNJA RAECYNJA's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ fear or love http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5778444 I heard someone ask a question that has caught my attention. The question, "do you want to live from fear or love?" Fear of failure keeps you from moving forward, fear keeps you from rest, peace and life. I used to say, " when I lose such and such then..." , it was a fear thing. I was afraid I would be rejected, made fun of and be ignored for my size so I never would try. Loving oneself is not selfish, it does not mean to become so self-centered that it becomes a bad thing. Loving oneself is ... Fri, 12 Sep 2014 08:49:26 EST p+5w=v http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5777096 Prayer(daily meditation, a quiet time with my Lord) plus water, writing(keep food journal), walking (exercising), weighing once a week and word(feeding my spirit man as well) equals victory. <BR> I wrote this today to remind myself of the plan that works for me. People ask what plan do you do? The answer is P+5w=v... <BR> There is a scripture that had I took to heart my whole life that would have changed where I am at and it ends with 'Let your soul delight itself in fatness,' Had I f... Wed, 10 Sep 2014 08:41:02 EST Life long starting overs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5774458 Life long, life style, they both have a common root which is LIFE. I used to think I will lose my overage and then. My mind has finally accepted that while I may get to my "goal" my struggle will not be gone. Obesity, such an ugly word, is a life long chronic disease/struggle. I ran into a friend who had got to her goal and in the past 2 years put 2/3 of it back on. Her problem she reached her goal and let her guard down. I was down at one point to 192. I am now starting over at 229, I let m... Sat, 6 Sep 2014 09:18:04 EST oops spoke to soon...:) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5773815 My last blog entry was many moons ago. I was finally healthy(or so I thought) to beat the old carcass into shape. Boy was I wrong about that one. Good news is I am finally allowed at 58 years old to get in the YMCA warm pool and do arthritis based water exercises with 65-85 year olds and yes they just about killed me, haha. I will say that I am not as far behind as I was in my 40's when I was completely sedentary and 275 pounds. So I have encouraged myself to start once again and once my mus... Fri, 5 Sep 2014 08:10:58 EST Finally http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4418841 Finally I am back to work(my job is getting healthy)! It took until now for me to get well enough to work towards weight loss and exercise. I was not bed fast but neigh on to it for the first 5 months of this year. It took another 2 months to stabalize and in 3 weeks I have lost 9.2 pounds. The only disheartening thing and one I need to let go of is this is retread. You know those pounds you lost recently and then regained. I have 15 more pounds to go to feel complete back..However, I will ... Wed, 10 Aug 2011 13:36:29 EST Goodmorning life http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4100584 I choose today to be joyful, I choose today to have peace, I put on the Lord's will, I choose to stand and be. I am thankful that my Lord does love me and sees me as complete. I choose today to walk in wellness and thankfulness. I choose to be what He would have me be. Fri, 18 Mar 2011 10:08:37 EST My mind is ready once again. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4099031 My mind is ready once again to take off a few more pounds. At my highest I was 285 and at my lowest 191. I regained some 216. I have maintaned that weight for a whole year. My doctor kept telling me when my mind got itself wrapped and ready I would lose again. Well I am finally at the point to deal with a few more. He reminded me that no matter I was still alot less than I started at and to hang in I would eventually get geared up again. Isn't it strange that you can be content with yourself... Thu, 17 Mar 2011 16:33:31 EST One of lifes scarrier moments http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3270352 Talk about scary. Here I have worked and lost 81 pounds.. come off of bp meds and doing quite well..then bam! High bp's, ER, stress test and heart cath. WHOOO I came out clean. NO blockages.Thank God, we are not sure what has happened exactly but is beginning to think that the fungal infection went systemic and was stressing the heart. I hope that is all it is but we will see...I see more doctor visits in my future...folks, If you feel like something is off listen to your body. Be proactive ... Wed, 26 May 2010 13:20:20 EST Enough! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3253468 Enough with the putalence, Enough with the emotional blackmail, Enough trying to divert the blame on me. Enough! I learned a unique lesson from a Pastor's wife that will stand me in good stead for many a year to come. The LESSON---If I go into the store and take something without paying what is that called{stealing} . If I come into your home and take a nick-nack without permission what is that called?{Stealing} If I take the blame for your lack of memory, mistakes, lack of communication and/... Fri, 21 May 2010 10:35:31 EST I am blessed http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3239168 I am blessed! Blessed with a life that is worth the living. Blessed with a life filled with Jesus. Blessed with a hardworking husband, loving children, grandchildren, parents and pets. I have a nice, warm and safe place to live. It isn't the Taj Mahal but it is mine. I have a beautiful church family. I have realitively good health and am thankful for all these things. I am blessed. Mon, 17 May 2010 14:29:50 EST If I had 30 days to live http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2796022 I heard a report of a church with a challenge to its people. If you had 30 days to live what would you want to do with your remaining time? I have been mulling this over. I would want to tell those I love that I loved them. My friend passed away the day after Thanksgiving. She was 46 and it was unexpected. What did her death teach me...Don't put off until tomorrow want you need to say to those you love. What if I only had 30 days to live,what would I want to do that I have left undone until I... Mon, 25 Jan 2010 19:02:51 EST Don't discount me...little girl.. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2771887 There was a young woman at the Y today that was complaining about not fitting her dresses she had bought to go on a cruise to the Carribiean in 9 days. She is in a frantic mode trying to lose enough to wear them.. My thought is if you can afford a cruise you probably can afford to go out and buy something that fits. I digress,,anyway she started telling her friend what she is eating and I was horrified. She is eating volume but no calories..to speak of anyway. Well, I had to stick my nose ou... Wed, 20 Jan 2010 11:37:24 EST Excitement@ my house http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2739979 There is excitement in my house. I finally broke the 215 mark with a weigh in of 213. I was so excited I jumped off then back on the scale to see if it said the same.lol. I have a renewed hope. I finally had to admit to myself that even though I had messed my self up metabolically speaking that I was really suffering from open mouth disease. I was eating too many snacks. To confirm it I tracked my snacks with a one day high total of 562 calories... no wonder I was not losing. I still don't ha... Wed, 13 Jan 2010 13:10:22 EST Well here I am http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2734913 Well Here I am...only a few pounds lighter than almost a year ago. I have gone up and down but all in all have not reverted to the old ways of life. I have had it out over and over with my parents, have had an ill adult child, been emotionally and verbally assaulted by people I least expected and suffered the loss of a dear friend. My victory is this...I have not regained, I have not stuffed food and I have persevered. I am discovering daily why I am still dealing with my weight. I sense vic... Tue, 12 Jan 2010 13:59:50 EST Becoming aware http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2014662 I am becoming aware of what is eating me. It is my prayer that as I discover the layers of myself that I will quit messing myself up. I have become aware that there are things I have hidden from myself by eating them quiet. It is like the beach ball that we tried to shove under the water...it resisted and enventually popped to the surface. I have become aware of some toxic relationships in my life. Weather it is me or the other we are not good for each other. I can not change them. I proved ... Tue, 28 Apr 2009 19:17:53 EST I am sad http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1769098 I am learning to acknowledge my feelings. When I don't acknowledge them I eat. I am sad. I am trusting in God my Father to meet a personal need in my life. I know when this particular journey is complete I will have some relief. I am sad, and even though I am sad I choose to praise the God of the universe and not over eat. I choose to rejoice in that He is working on my behalf. I choose to trust Him and not let my trouble drown out all hope. I choose to live and not die... I choose. Wed, 4 Feb 2009 10:19:57 EST The Lord is my light... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1721941 The Lord is my light, my shield and my strength. I want to take this time to thank you Lord for all that you have done for me. Be my strength when I am weak, be my eyes when I am blinded by confusion, Be my hope when the life is hard... I love you Oh Lover of my soul. COme reside with me and let your joy radiate through my life. <em>43</em> Tue, 20 Jan 2009 20:53:40 EST RENEWAL COMES WITH A SLOGAN :) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1702029 Renewal comes with a slogan or thought . for me ...like my name..raecynja(ray- sin-jay[like the bird}) Racing for the goal. I have the next step in my encouragement. <--------------forget, ----------------->press, !!!!!get healthy!!!! from scripture(paraphrased) forgetting those things behind, I press toward the goal.... so forgetting the mistakes of my past. No longer beating myself to DEATH; I press on toward the goal... where I will have a healthier life. The thing is as I depend on God t... Thu, 15 Jan 2009 09:58:21 EST