RACH2THESMY's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=RACH2THESMY RACH2THESMY's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Stress, Frustration, Stress, repeat. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5318602 Oh man... I have no blogged in nearly a month. What's been going on? Well, I fell you guys. I fell and I have not yet quite gotten up. I have, however, kicked myself what I was down AND stood over myself and yelled. I'm not a very nurturing coach. <BR> <BR> I had a vacation. That was the start. I was on a plateau and then I had a week off of work. I promised myself that I would eat well and work out while I was on vacation. I did work out four days out of the five I usually would! ... Wed, 10 Apr 2013 15:48:00 EST Simple Goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5291341 As long as I have been dieting (a solid 14 years, literally half of my life), with every success and every not so success, with all of my knowledge of what works for me and what doesn't work for me, I am sure that I am not the only person who tries to make losing weight way more complex than it needs to be. There was a time last fall when I was "dieting" and my brain was absolutely boggled. "HOW?" it kept asking. "How? There has to be some complicated formula, some ritual to getting it ri... Mon, 18 Mar 2013 15:42:53 EST I am an anti-deprivationist. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5285161 There. I've said it. I am an anti-deprivationist. <BR> <BR> What do I mean? <BR> <BR> Well, there are a few things that I absolutely LOVE to eat. I LOVE the twice baked potatoes at the grocery store down the street. I LOVE veggie grinders from Mancinos. These are the things that I currently LOVE. (I have recently broken my Angus Burger habit but I do still like to indulge in a nice restaurant burger form time to time.) <BR> <BR> I am unwilling to give these things up. Because I don'... Wed, 13 Mar 2013 11:28:27 EST This Week's Recap http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5267435 I know it's only Thursday but I wanted to check in while I was at my desk and thinking about it. If you recall, I've been working on three mini goals this week. <BR> <BR> 1. Don't weekday drink. <BR> 2. Work out. <BR> 3. Eat 1500 calories a day. <BR> <BR> How did it go? <BR> <BR> Pretty darn good. <BR> <BR> It's Thursday. For four days now I have eaten 1500 or less calories (at the top of my range) and worked out twice a day, no more than 50 minutes total. I only had one drink this wee... Thu, 28 Feb 2013 15:39:10 EST This Week's Goals: http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5263019 I'm in a bit of a plateau. I think I've gotten lazy. So, without further ado, this weeks goals are: <BR> <BR> 1. Don't weekday drink. I've been very stressed lately and missing the early days when fiance and I used to drink on Tuesdays so I have been drinking on Tuesdays. The first week was fine. I portion controlled my intake and even planned a snack all within my ranges. But the second week got out of control. And so did the third week. Now I think it's time for a break. I've prov... Mon, 25 Feb 2013 08:11:45 EST I Want to Do More and I Want to Do Better http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5257667 It's true. I want to do more and I want to do better. I was going to title this "I Want to Do Better" but then I realized that a large part of that for me is doing more. <BR> <BR> What do I mean here? <BR> <BR> I am constantly and consistently amazed by the people around me. I have a friend who works full time, plus overtime when needed, has a side business with her mom, has a husband and two VERY active dogs, has a house at least 2.5 times the size of mine, has hobbies including ukulele... Wed, 20 Feb 2013 15:11:48 EST Because I haven't written in a while... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5255030 I haven't had much to say, really. At all. Winter is a very hard time for me. Perhaps I have seasonal affective disorder. No matter what it is, every February gets a little rough. As an avid "previous year's journal entry" reader, I can assure you that every February I start to feel lazy and dull. I start to feel a little less in control. I worry about my relationships. This is the time of year when I think my friends are all talking about me behind ym back and that my fiance is on th... Mon, 18 Feb 2013 15:04:40 EST When were you your healthiest? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5240454 I have been a size 20 and I have been a size 3. <BR> <BR> I have weighed 180 lbs and I have weighed 105 lbs. <BR> <BR> Sometimes I feel very discouraged by the shape I am in. It's not that I'm fat. It's that I have been in better shape. It's that I hurt my knee sometime last week and it freaking hurts and I can't push myself like I want to. It's that I get tired. It's that I'm so moody. (I morphed into Bridezilla last night and almost again today.) It's that I sometimes have to ask f... Wed, 6 Feb 2013 15:54:33 EST January Wrap Up http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5233223 Well, my final weigh in for January was this morning, even though it is technically February. <BR> <BR> I came in at 147. <BR> <BR> I got off the scale and got back on. <BR> <BR> I came in at 147. <BR> <BR> I have lost 8 lbs this year and I kind of don't believe it. My scale is very cheap and I'm inclined to think that it's not very reliable. That's not true. It's always pretty steady with my weight. This is just a pretty big loss for me. I'm kind of worried that the scale is wrong a... Fri, 1 Feb 2013 12:43:00 EST A No Excuses Week Recap http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5221826 Well, I am now on Day 4 of my No Excuses week. Do you wanna know something? I feel great. <BR> <BR> I think that the trick to having a No Excuses Week is that you have to have no excuses for a poor attitude as well. Let me explain... Part of the frustration I was feeling over last week had to do with my attitude about things and toward myself. When I am using excuses and knowing making mistakes, I often coddle myself. I will sit down and destroy a ridiculously bad for me meal knowing fu... Thu, 24 Jan 2013 15:07:50 EST A No Excuses Week http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5217209 Well, I've had some time to think since Friday. About a lot of things. <BR> <BR> As I mentioned, I have been feeling very frustrated about myself. I think everyone has seen something floating around the net that says "When you have so much to do that you just take a nap." That about sums it up. This is supposed to be one of the most special years of my life but... <BR> <BR> I'm not enjoying it. <BR> <BR> There are a number of reasons. I could go into the whole sick sad history of it b... Mon, 21 Jan 2013 14:57:27 EST Fighting the Frustration http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5212833 Oh, Spark People, it has been one of those weeks. <BR> <BR> I've been tired. I've been stressed. I've had a couple of goo days and a couple of rough ones. I was feeling pretty good about my weight loss, though, until I got on the scale this morning and found that I had gained a pound. Now I'm fighting the frustration that comes with a backslide. I feel that anger rising up in me and that little voice keeps going, "Why do you even bother? You're never going to lose weight. You don't ha... Fri, 18 Jan 2013 10:40:06 EST It Started with Hair Dye http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5204979 On New Year's Eve I died my hair. <BR> <BR> That's not really a big deal. I've been dying my hair for 16 years now, since I was 12. So what was different about this time? <BR> <BR> Well, I had been feeling pretty crappy about myself in the second half of last year. I have never spent much time on my appearance but I did spend SOME time. I used to love looking at clothes and finding something new to wear. I used to love buying new makeup and jewelry. I used to ADORE shoes and I wore dr... Sun, 13 Jan 2013 12:25:45 EST Disturbance in the Force http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5199098 I've taken on a lot this year. I'm getting married. I want to lost weight before my first gown fitting. I am making a point to write every day and I'm trying to make it through 100 books again... All of these things MATTER to me and I have actually done a decent job fitting it all in. (Right now I am a touch behind on reading but one night should fix that. And that's not bad at all!) <BR> <BR> But lately I have been really dragging butt. <BR> <BR> I confessed to my support system last ... Wed, 9 Jan 2013 16:15:14 EST What do you want from weight loss? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5188805 I've been thinking a lot about what I want from weight loss and whether or not those wants are realistic. <BR> <BR> I want to feel better about myself. I know that being fit or thin or skinny or whatever term you want to use will not make me like myself. I know because I probably liked myself way less when I weighed 105 than I do at 155. (Part of that is age. Me, myself, and I have grown a lot closer since then. ) However, I know that part of the reason I am so unhappy with myself latel... Thu, 3 Jan 2013 19:45:09 EST 2013 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5186492 Well, welcome to a new year. Like many of you, I am struggling with getting back on the health wagon. Last year started really well but, like usual, it got away from me. There was some stress (surprise, surprise) and then I got sick (surprise, surprise) and then I did that thing where I let one pound gained turn into 3, then 5, until the end of the year. In 2012 I started put weighing 150 lbs. I ended weighing 155 lbs. <BR> <BR> There are always excuses. Like I said, I was stressed and... Wed, 2 Jan 2013 15:43:19 EST The first step is the scariest... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4869166 I don't know if I can do it, but I am going to stop getting on the scale. <BR> <BR> From today forward, I am going to focus on being healthy instead of losing weight. I would like to drop one more pant size before July. This is a very reasonable goal. My problem is that I get so caught up in the numbers on the scale that I end up discouraged and frustrated when the numbers go up even if my inches go down. <BR> <BR> I am going to work out and be active and I am going to eat healthier and ... Sun, 6 May 2012 17:03:54 EST YET http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4864950 I've had a rough couple of months. <BR> <BR> January and February went great! I had lost five pounds and got down a pant size and a notch and a half in my belt. I was feeling good. I was eating well. I was still having my cheat nights on Friday when I would eat whatever I wanted and drink beer and have good times. Then in early March I got sick. I lost one more pound and then I had vacation in early April. I ate and drank and lazed about. I gained two pounds back and got on that slip... Thu, 3 May 2012 15:02:32 EST