QUESTDUCK's SparkPeople Blog QUESTDUCK's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community a fresh start. Last week I gave up. I lost my job, now didn't have the money to go to my 50th high school reunion, and in general felt very sorry for myself. I ate two bags of cookies, and a quart of ice cream. I stopped visiting the Spark site because I was too embarressed, and I felt I had simply failed yet again. I have no real friends,and my kids live far away. I even considered suicide. Then the mail came. I had forgotten that I had ordered The Spark. I'm an avid reader so thought I should at least che... Sun, 28 Aug 2011 10:53:27 EST back on track Been screwing up left and right. Gained back 3 of the poiunds I had lost. Well, last night I resolved to start over. I will start exercing today-something I have been avoiding. I will stop letting my eating get out of control at night. I will do this for me, and no one else. I will not be so hard on myself. Fri, 19 Aug 2011 10:43:46 EST Need help For the last two days I've been eating so badly. It's like I can't stop myself. I ate ice cream, chips, and at work didn't turn down a big piece of apple pie. I had lost 15 pounds, and now I've gained 3 of it back. I know I'm getting laid off my job soon, but I've known that for awhile. Why am I doing this to myself? <em>15</em> Tue, 16 Aug 2011 10:35:24 EST blah I am so discouraged. My weight hasn't moved in a week. I'm less than enthusiastic about exercising. Can't find my start button. I'm sticking to my diet just great. My clothes fit much better. I'm just so disgusted with myself right now. I even have a gym membership. A co worker suggested maybe it's because I'm so alone. No family or friends in this town. I'm no quitter tho, I will lose this weight. Fri, 5 Aug 2011 13:46:43 EST progress It's been a struggle at times, but I'm actually losing weight. 14 pounds so far. It's a miracle because I've tried so often to lose weight and have never made it past 5 pounds unless I've used some sort of diet pills. My doctor wants me to cool it with a lot of the exercises until I've lost at least 20 pounds. I was walking and doing Zumba till I fell down my stairs. Sort of did my knee in for a bit. It's getting better all the time and I'm getting close to that 20 pound mark. I hate most veg... Sun, 31 Jul 2011 22:29:39 EST Incentive When I started with Sparks the first day I was too lazy to actually go and weigh myself. I put down my last weight which was from a few days before. At that time I weighed 199. The next day I decided I'd better weigh myself, and found I weighed 205.Never weighed that much in my life. I'm down to 200 now-never thought I'd be thrilled with that weight! Yesterday I turned down cake at our staff meeting. A patient gave me a bag of M&M'S that I put at the desk for the rest of the staff. I have a m... Fri, 22 Jul 2011 10:03:17 EST