PSALM42's SparkPeople Blog PSALM42's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community The 1 year milestone Well my baby (THE baby) turns one tomorrow! I can't believe it. I have two thoughts about it. One is that I am very sad. :( Life is so bittersweet. I'm enjoying the snuggles and giggles so much. He just got his top teeth in and I can't help but thinking "I'll NEVER see one of my baby's two toothed grin." Not helpful thinking and I've spent quite a bit crying about it. We are definitely ready to be done, but not ready to let go. <em>46</em> <BR> <BR> My other feeling is thatI am extremely... Wed, 27 Feb 2013 17:41:27 EST It's been a long time I haven't blogged here in 9 months or so. In many ways it seems like yesterday. It's been a very busy year. Baby is almost 1!!!! We moved to a different state and also began homeschooling my oldest (Kindergarten). Seriously, busy. Plus we moved away from family although they are moving here in 2 weeks so hopefully that will help. <BR> <BR> I've lost 15 pounds since May. Better than nothing but slow at 2 pounds per month. I still have 25 pounds of pregnancy weight to lose. <BR> <BR> I've m... Thu, 7 Feb 2013 08:39:14 EST my before pictures Me now- Spring 2012: <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> This is what I want to get back to (and then lose some)- Spring 2011: <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Mon, 7 May 2012 13:34:55 EST doing better My weight still isn't budging, which is annoying but I'm not going to focus on that. And who knows maybe I'll wake up one day and just be 20 pounds lighter. haha. I haven't taken measurements, so maybe something else is changing. If I get a chance to take those today I will. Still haven't done my before picture- whoops. <BR> <BR> But I'm doing better. The last two mornings I was able to get on the elliptical and do 20-30 minutes. It was wonderful to have that time: it was quiet, I was sweat... Sat, 5 May 2012 06:48:51 EST Had an epiphany! I went to goodwill yesterday to find an outfit appropriate enough for a memorial service tonight and a wedding in June. I don't really have any clothes that fit, especially nicer ones. While trying on clothes (1X size. omg.), I think I saw myself for the first time in a long time. Do you know what my thought was "bleep, i'm fat." seriously. Other than in pregnancy, I have NEVER been this big. 2 months and 30 pounds post baby, I'm still higher than my highest previous (not pregnant) weight. <... Wed, 2 May 2012 14:27:09 EST End of April review, May goals Well, my scale is reading a little high today and was pretty low last week so I'm taking the average ;) <BR> <BR> So April beginning weight: 196 <BR> April ending weight: 190 <BR> April loss- 6 pounds <BR> 2012 loss- 29 pounds <BR> <BR> I met the low end of my goal and while I would have liked to lose a little more, I am very happy with losing this amount! I'm fairly confident that at this point with my other two children I wasn't losing more than 2 pounds per month- so 6 pounds this month ... Mon, 30 Apr 2012 05:53:16 EST Feeling impatient and resentful. When I was pregnant the weeks felt like eternity. I gained weight quickly regardless of what I did. <BR> <BR> Now time is flying by. I felt okay the first few weeks because "I just had a baby." A belly at 8 weeks postpartum is just embarressing. Wearing the same outfit to church every week and still being uncomfortable is annoying. I realize I've lost a good amount of weight- about 30 pounds from my weight at the end of my pregnancy- but it doesn't seem that way. I'm still above my previous... Sun, 29 Apr 2012 15:50:56 EST Help me please! Need menu help I hope someone can help me. I am on a pretty restricted diet and need meal ideas. <BR> <BR> I cannot have any dairy, gassy veggies, or tomato based products/ <BR> I have to give up eggs (at least for a trial) <BR> Wheat may be next... and possibily soy. <BR> <BR> But I need protein and nutrients. <BR> And it has to be easy to cook (I have a 7 week old, a 2 1/2 and 4 1/2 year old remember? and we're still very much in "survival" mode). <BR> <BR> Right now I pretty much eat cereal, clif ba... Thu, 19 Apr 2012 09:04:32 EST "It's not worth it" It's not very often we see immediate consequences of what we eat. Occasionally we may get a tummy ache or feel too full but even that doesn't often deter us from the choices we make. My nursing baby cannot tolerate any dairy in my diet. Yes, that means milk, cheese, butter, cream, yogurt, etc. :( Still pouting over here when I serve my family something with cheese in it. But I know that if I eat just a little bit I will regret it big time! Eating dairy means 2 days of a very uncomfortable, fu... Wed, 11 Apr 2012 06:21:01 EST Discipline and Consistancy I like to have more than just weight loss goals. Two things I've been thinking about lately are discipline and consistancy. Both are needed for many things in life. Most goals are not reached without these two things... and they don't come by accident. And they are very intertwined. I'm not sure you can have discipline without consistancy and vice versa. <BR> <BR> I've always been jealous/amazed at my mother in law's ability to have a super clean house. Do you know why she does? It's becaus... Fri, 6 Apr 2012 07:06:28 EST March Recap & April Goals *baby pic! Hard to believe March is over already! That was a very quick month. I am happy with my progress considering I have a newborn in the house. On March 2nd, I weighed in at 207# (after losing 12# immediately after birth 3 days previously). Yesterday I weighed in at 196.8#. I actually gained a pound this last week (it was a crazy week and included almost an entire day at the E.R. for stitches for my middle son!) But overall, I lost 10 pounds! I am very proud of that as that is the most I've ever l... Sat, 31 Mar 2012 05:45:52 EST 1 month pp Hard to believe my baby is a month one tomorrow! <BR> <BR> I have not lost weight so far this week but on saturday I weighed in at 195.8! So I am down 9 pounds from the beginning of the month and 24 pounds since my last pregnancy weigh in! <BR> Tue, 27 Mar 2012 12:59:29 EST 3 weeks pp Well, I wasn't happy last week with not losing any weight so I've been tracking and keeping my calories between 1500-1700 and I've lost 1.5 pounds since saturday! I've only gotten in 1 workout since then but I'll continue doing what I am doing and add in working out when I have a bit more time. <BR> <BR> baby is starting to get in more of a routine and life is returning to normal. yay! Tue, 20 Mar 2012 13:52:55 EST it's already begun... Baby will be 3 weeks old on tuesday, but I've said the same weight as last week. And that means, FRUSTRATION! I was hoping to completely avoid this situation this time around (bhahahahaha) but why does it need to kick in so soon? I understand I should relax but I have a lot of weight to lose and I'm nursing around the clock! I'm tracking my calories- it shouldn't be this hard. <em>198</em> <BR> <BR> I'm keeping a better eye on my portions and tracking calories. One problem I am having is ... Fri, 16 Mar 2012 06:44:58 EST 2weeks pp Baby will be two weeks old tomorrow. My mil is gone so i am on my own... wondering when life will return to "normal." Right now I only have time for a nap or a shower or working out. So I choose napping as I have a little night owl... and 2 early birds. I know it will change soon. I did get in a walk saturday- just over 1 mile that was nice. <BR> <BR> I've lost 20 pounds so far. I hope to keep losing 1+ pounds per week. We will see. I am not tracking calories yet. I am watching my portions a... Mon, 12 Mar 2012 13:37:48 EST baby is here! W born 2/28 @ 10:13 a.m. 8 pounds 7 ounces 21 inches long! <BR> <BR> I was induced with cervidil on 2/27 at 7:45 pm. Went in at 2 cm and 80%. Starting having contractions within 1/2 hour and by midnight I was in active labor. Got nubain and loved the relief. Decided right then and there to get the epidural once I got to a 4- for several reasons including my fear and anxiety about the birth. Also, I wasn't expecting to go into labor so I was very tired and my husband had been up since 4:30 am... Thu, 1 Mar 2012 15:57:58 EST Being induced tonight!/recap of pregnancy/postpartum goals I am very glad for this pregnancy to come to an end! This pregnancy will be 10 days shorter than my previous shortest pregnancy and I cannot imagine even another week of this! <BR> <BR> I've had bad pelvic pain since ~26 weeks that has kept me from exercise. I've also had sharp pubic bone pain for the last several weeks. And the last few days, I have not been able to sleep with my knees bent because I get terrible pains in them. So that leaves me propped up on my back or lying awkwardly dir... Mon, 27 Feb 2012 10:42:52 EST Can't sleep I'm tired but I can't sleep. I lay there thinking about all of things that are stressing me out. I lay there thinking, "darn you body. why can't you just go into labor or my water break and this all can be over." I'm not to my due date yet (will be induced before that) but since I've had two babies that have held on past 41 weeks, I think this last one could come a little early. <BR> <BR> I'm sick of being pregnant- the physical aches and pains. The extreme moodiness. I'm really not trying ... Sun, 19 Feb 2012 22:22:38 EST 38 weeks, T-12 days! Well, I woke up very discouraged this morning. A woman from my babyfit group had her baby this morning and she was due 5 days after me. Plus, the aches and pains; not sleeping well; and not being able to walk or bend over is really getting to me! My kids are on the crazy side- wonder if it's just with all of the pregnancy stress but it makes it that much harder. <BR> <BR> However, reading my last blog I see that it was 19 days to countdown until baby and now it's 12. The days have flown by ... Thu, 16 Feb 2012 14:49:07 EST I see the light at the end of the tunnel! <em>236</em> <BR> I'm 37 weeks and my induction is scheduled for 2/28! 19 more days! Cannot tell you how happy this makes me! With both of my children I went over 41 weeks and that is just not cool. Thinking about going to 41+ weeks, not going into labor on my own anyways, and having a massive baby (though I don't think this little guy will be as big as my last- 9 pounds 6 ounces) was depressing. <BR> <BR> But I've got a date! And a countdown! And because it's scheduled, my husband will b... Thu, 9 Feb 2012 14:14:41 EST 36 weeks Typing 36 weeks seems so far along! But with the way that I'm feeling, I feel like it should be 39 weeks. Oh well... we're slowly moving there! <BR> <BR> Urine test came back normal... and all continues to be well. <BR> <BR> If baby came tomorrow we'd be set- except for the carseat in the car :) That's on my hubby's to do this next week. <BR> <BR> Just trying to stay busy and sane. I usually do okay in the mornings as we have an activity planned almost every morning (grocery shopping, li... Thu, 2 Feb 2012 08:41:44 EST 35 weeks I'm 35 weeks! <em>244</em> <BR> <BR> At my appointment this week I had protein in my urine so I got the joy of doing a 24 hour urine collection. <BR> <BR> What fun! <BR> <BR> Okay, not really but after peeing into a little thing and dumping it into a jug, which I kept on ice in a cooler in the bathtub several times per day... going to the bathroom like a "normal pregnant woman" is much better! And soon it'll be like a normal person! Baby likes to jab at my bladder and I often feel like ... Fri, 27 Jan 2012 14:30:34 EST Counting my blessings! I’ve had a pity party today. Pretty pathetic. So instead of dwelling on my problems and aches and pains, I’m going to count a few blessings- just from today. <BR> <BR> I am very thankful to be carrying a big, healthy baby. As much as I don’t want to be pregnant anymore I’m glad we don’t have the concern of having a preemie. <BR> <BR> My 2 year old has currently been sitting in a beer box for the last 15 minutes. He is as happy as a clam. He doesn’t really take naps anymore but he is so good... Mon, 23 Jan 2012 17:52:12 EST Warning: Whining Ahead I just have to get this out. I don't like to whine a lot and I've got no one to say it to... so spark people here I am. <BR> <BR> The thought of being pregnant for 4.5 more weeks is simply overwhelming to me. Technically I have 5.5 more weeks but I am going to BEG for an induction at 39 weeks (or 38 weeks if they'd do it but the new thing is no elective inductions/c-sections before 39 weeks). <BR> <BR> If you saw my picture on my last blog you know that I am enormous. I have a big baby in... Mon, 23 Jan 2012 10:42:02 EST 34 weeks & picture <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Hopefully only 5 more weeks. I have to admit that somedays I don't think I want to be induced... but given my past history and large babies it makes sense to be induced at 39 weeks... if my doctor will agree. I have yet to discuss this with her. <BR> <BR> I'm pretty anxious about the birth. I have no idea why. Maybe because I can remember my last birth- the long hours, pain, and exaustion. It was worth it, believ... Thu, 19 Jan 2012 14:19:25 EST Changes to spark- please read At the bottom of your posts now a stranger can share your post on facebook. If you are not comfortable with this follow these instructions: <BR> <BR> <BR> Go to your SparkPage. <BR> Click to Edit the page. <BR> On the top right Un-check "Show share bar on my blog posts". <BR> Save your changes. Sat, 14 Jan 2012 20:24:48 EST 33 weeks I'm trying to think of 3 things that I will miss when I'm not pregnant anymore. Only because I'm trying to be positive and I can think of at least 15 things I will NOT miss. :) Then I will think of these 3 things while counting down the days until baby! 6 weeks from yesterday is my hopeful date of induction. <BR> <BR> 6 more weeks. 6 more weeks. 6 more weeks! <em>244</em> <BR> <BR> Okay, I will miss feeling his moderate, well-placed kicks. I will miss the anticipation of our family growi... Thu, 12 Jan 2012 17:20:01 EST The Difference A Little Sunshine Makes :) We have a really poor back sliding door. It actually doesn't even really close all of the way; and it's an old aluminum door which means you can feel the draft from 5 feet away. Whomever designed the only heat vents in the room to be 3 inches away from the doors needs to find a new career. Ahem. Anyways, I usually leave our shabby excuse for curtains shut when it's this cold out because it gets so cold and I'm trying to save energy! However, it totally sets the mood for the day. When it's dar... Sat, 7 Jan 2012 20:29:59 EST Stressed This seems to be a common occurance in my life. Stress. Over money. It doesn't help that I am an emotional wreck and we have big decisions to make. I flip flop between 2 choices in my mind and get so worked up about it all. God bless my husband. Not only does he put up with me! but he has a level head. I told him honestly what I was thinking the other day and how this tough decision (how to school our oldest next year) plays out in my head. Do you know what he told me? He said that he would b... Thu, 5 Jan 2012 15:01:43 EST Pre-baby checklist and new years goals! Okay, I can't say I always make new years goals but I am constantly making goals. If I made resolutions at the beginning of 2011 I don't know what they are. Except 1. I wanted to run a half-marathon... and I did! That was a highlight from last year! This year my goal is to have a baby and lose a large chunk of weight! Based on my previous history, I'm guaranteed to drop 20-25 pounds by mid-April. Yay! Don't be jealous, I've put on my fair share amount of weight. But I've started tracking my c... Mon, 2 Jan 2012 13:25:22 EST 31 weeks In terms of turning around bad habits, I'm like the freaking titanic. But, I am making better choices lately and actually want to continue making those better choices. To me that's success! If I can control my weight gain to 1 pound per week I'll only gain about 2 pounds more than I did my last pregnancy. Gaining 50 pounds may seem really huge to some people but I've gained big with every pregnancy. I also have big babies and I usually lose 20-25 pounds asap. The rest comes off with exercise ... Wed, 28 Dec 2011 09:53:23 EST 29 week picture Counting down....! <img src=""> Mon, 19 Dec 2011 13:42:17 EST Back from vacation! Vacation was fun but stressful! I am not used to being gone that long and my children's schedules are beyond messed up. I wonder how many days it will take to get back in the swing of things? Oh well- a vacation at the beach? I'll take it! It was cold and rainy the first two days but then it got nice. 60 degree weather is my favorite and I'd much rather that than the beach in the 90s! <BR> <BR> Had some car problems on the way home (under warranty!) and some family stress that went on, but ... Sat, 17 Dec 2011 09:06:00 EST Third trimester! First, an update from my last blog. I think we've worked everything out. Whew. I'm a major over-reactor but it was a good wake up call. I will afford my glucose test tomorrow (even though I hate it!) because we have met our deductible (my chiropractor's office hadn't completed all of the paperwork from the beginning of this year). So blessing in disguise. Funny how I pretty much had to spend 3,000 dollars in order to afford around $200 worth of blood testing (it won't cost that much after ins... Tue, 6 Dec 2011 11:06:22 EST Totally overwhelmed/stressed I feel bad because I am so stressed. My uterus is like super tight and I don't feel baby as much (doing kick counts though to be sure he is okay, he's just not as active as normal). I've never been this stressed before- especially while pregnant. Dang money troubles. I had to call my OB yesterday to tell them that I cannot afford my payment this month. They were very kind and said they'll for-go this month and I can pay next month. I'm glad because I want to make sure baby boy is okay. I do h... Tue, 29 Nov 2011 11:40:28 EST 25 weeks & picture I've felt better about my weight gain this past week. Good thing too as I'm up about another pound and a half. I figured this is most likely our last baby (95% sure!)- and that has helped me relax. I'm not going to be frantically trying to lose the weight just to get pregnant again. I can lose the weight at the pace it takes my body (It took a lot longer with my second baby who wouldn't gain weight when I tried losing weight, it was a bit quicker with my first who didn't seem affected by my c... Fri, 18 Nov 2011 07:42:43 EST Very discouraged/24 weeks I gained 3 pounds this week. For a total of 27 pounds gained. This bums me out anyways. What bums me out more is that I tracked my calories and stayed around 2000 almost everyday (Sunday is my "free" day). I also got in 1 hour of exercise thoughout the week. <BR> <BR> So I gained a good chunk of weight when I wasn't working out or tracking my calories. I gained a good chunk of weight when I was working out and tracking my calories. What gives? <BR> <BR> I've always said that women will ga... Fri, 11 Nov 2011 09:07:43 EST Is it March yet? I find myself asking myself (or my husband) this almost everyday... but then today thanks to somebody's status update I realized 1/4 of November is already over. How did that happen? It was just summer time and it was too hot to go outside! Now it's cold and rainy and the holidays are just about upon us. <BR> <BR> November and December will be crazy busy- but perhaps boring for us. My husband always works a lot but these two months are crazy for my mom at work so we don't see as much of her... Wed, 9 Nov 2011 09:12:48 EST what was a bad day turned into a good day! daylight savings time = torture for a mother of small children. <BR> sunday- the kids were up at 6. short, short, short nap. fell apart by 6:30. <BR> monday- up at 5:30! pulled the ol' 2 naps in one day :D (I miss those days!) and so far we're back on track. The kids were far less crabby- let's hope we move back to the normal waking time of 7. <BR> <BR> Got in 38 minutes of exercise today- what? me? yes! I hope to just do bits and pieces throughout the day since a big chunk of time isn't t... Mon, 7 Nov 2011 17:30:34 EST some of why we don't do halloween! We don't participate in halloween, in large parts due to the fact that I hated it growing up. I also don't feel safe going to people's houses we don't know, and anybody could taint candy with a syringe (yes, I'm slightly paranoid!). <BR> <BR> But we don't have candy in the house at all! Hooray- because if it's there I will eat it (even if I don't really like it!) <BR> <BR> And my kids won't be asking every 5 seconds for candy or bouncing off of the walls all day. No sugar rushes or fits he... Tue, 1 Nov 2011 07:20:07 EST November goals Okay first, I'll start with the necessary "How is it November already?" Wow! I'll be putting up my Christmas decorations soon! <BR> <BR> It's time to get back on the bandwagon and quit making excuses. I've set some goals for my personal life (this is mainly keeping up with dishes and house work- "It's easier to keep up than to catch up.") and my health. I can't be all or nothing, I'll put on too much weight again with this pregnancy. Okay, I cannot go out and run, and doing a lot of walking... Mon, 31 Oct 2011 07:31:57 EST 21/22 weeks, no one else to blame Okay, I am going to be super honest. Are you ready? <BR> <BR> I've gained 20 pounds already! <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> Looks like nothing has changed for me. I'm always so determined to not gain a lot during pregnancy but I always do. I wish I had someone else to blame- but really it's my fault. I don't feel bad about the weight I gained in the first trimester (8-10 pounds) because it's all about survival during the weeks of endless morning sickness... now as for the almost 8 pounds this past... Wed, 26 Oct 2011 08:37:31 EST Halfway through and an ultrasound picture! <img src=""> <BR> Here is a picture of our little boy. I was very shocked we were having another little boy (this is our 3rd boy!), I thought we were having a girl. It's been a much rougher pregnancy but maybe he'll make up for it by being an excellent sleeper? One can hope! <BR> <BR> I'm already start to feel some of the pangs of the end of pregnancy. I'm not sleeping as well as I was, but luckily it's not as bad as it will be! My sciat... Sat, 15 Oct 2011 07:47:39 EST 19 weeks <img src=""> <BR> Recent picture- I feel so much bigger than I look! lol <BR> <BR> Well, somethings are going well and some are not. I am still very tired. I had a energy burst a few weeks ago but it's gone! So I've been trying to "get it together" and be more organized. It's going okay so far, even though I put my 25-month-old down for a nap without a diaper the other day. <em>40</em> I was afraid I was gaining weight like crazy since... Sat, 8 Oct 2011 07:47:15 EST 18 weeks Well, we're just moving right along in this pregnancy... even though this week was sort of crappy. I went for 1 run (2.5 miles) and 1 walk (my calves were so tight!!! I couldn't run so I walked 2 miles). And that's it. I don't know if I tracked my calories all week. I forgot to weigh in this morning. And I've had a few mornings where I feel sick. Now, it's not as bad as it was in the beginning and not as often, but I still feel icky in the morning and incredibly tired. So I'm trying to make g... Sat, 1 Oct 2011 10:15:22 EST 17 weeks I still feel sick. Not every morning though, but still. This has got to be a girl! We'll find out in 17 days! Which means 17 days until I'm half way through... and considering how fast this first part has gone (even though most days crawled by!) it will go by fast. <BR> <BR> I did gain 4 pounds in the last 2 weeks. I wasn't as active with my morning sickness coming back plus my allergies (wasn't a cold after all). But I feel like I'm still doing well- staying in my range most days (some day... Sat, 24 Sep 2011 08:14:42 EST 16 weeks, not a great week *updated with a pic I didn't bother weighing this morning and I'm not going to do it tomorrow. I didn't have a great week. (I don't think I've gained a ton but I wasn't feeling well and I like weighing before I eat anything). Last saturday I woke up to more morning sickness (really?). Sunday I went for a run (yes, that is good!) but then was SO sore until wednesday. Went for a walk tuesday night and another run wednesday. Yes, very good.... and still very sore! Then wednesday night started feeling poorly. I was ... Fri, 16 Sep 2011 10:48:49 EST Musings on time.... I realized today's date is September 13th. Didn't September just start? And now it's almost halfway through? I don't need to wish my pregnancy away because it is flying by already (although it doesn't always seem that way.) Part of why I want this pregnancy over isn't being I'm still somewhat sick (I can deal) or I want my baby in my arms (I do want that!) but I'm so anxious about meeting my goals and having a healthy pregnancy. I gained more than I planned in the first trimester but I'm back... Tue, 13 Sep 2011 11:18:05 EST 15 weeks, signed up for a 1/4 marathon! Yes, I signed up for a quarter marathon! Sounds far huh? It's 6.55 miles. It's 7 weeks away and I'll be 22 weeks. I've been back into my walking habit for a couple of weeks. I've moved up to 3 miles and some of the time I jog a little bit. I'll slowly work up to the 6 miles and walk plenty if I need to. I like having goals to work towards... keeps me motivated! <BR> <BR> I've gained another .5 pound, which is right what I am hoping to maintain throughout the pregnancy. <BR> <BR> I only wa... Sat, 10 Sep 2011 08:28:38 EST Hello second trimester! The nausea is gone, I get up less than once per night to use the bathroom, and I can still sleep on my tummy/back for a few precious more weeks. Love the 2nd trimester! <BR> <BR> Walked 3 times this week and plan on walking again today. <BR> Thinking about adding in some strength, as I was thinking how can I weigh less after each pregnancy but have more and more belly fat? Duh, I'm losing muscle mass... so I'm going to make sure I get back into a regimen after the baby is born for sure... b... Sat, 3 Sep 2011 07:46:35 EST