PRETTYFACE100's SparkPeople Blog PRETTYFACE100's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Better Than Yesterday I implemented my Coca Cola plan today and I must admit that even though I add more calories than I like, I feel better about myself. I drank almost all my water (still have about 12 oz. sitting next to me, waiting.), but I'll drink it for sure. My Coke is sitting next to the water. <BR> Maybe one day I can eliminate it totally, but if I don't I'm ok. <BR> That was the good thing about today. I'm learning, I guess, to live a life that is better. I'm never going to do this perfectly. I'm never ... Thu, 24 Jan 2013 22:27:32 EST Coke Addict When I say I'm a coke addict, I hope no one thinks I'm a cocaine addict. It means that I love Coca Cola. I don't know why, because I never did until about a year ago, but I am and it's a battle I have been losing for a long time. I also struggle to get my eight glasses of water per diem. But I have a plan. <BR> It was so simple that I don't know why I didn't think of it before. I get what I want, Coke, but I also get what I need. I'm going to implement tomorrow my Coke regulation program. And... Wed, 23 Jan 2013 23:30:54 EST The Word Of The Day My thirteen year old niece was on facebook, as is usual, and constant, and annoying, but I digress. Anyway, she was on facebook and she put a picture of someone she thought was "sexy". Frowning slightly, I went to her page and looked at her friends and her post and counted no less than 20 times in two days, the word "sexy." They think someone is sexy, a dress is sexy, do I think they are sexy. No, rod stewart, I think they are thirteen. <BR> Here's the problem I have with all this. I know the... Tue, 22 Jan 2013 21:23:53 EST Comfort Food You know how people say that there is a song for every occasion. It's true. Any situation, if you think hard enough, there is the perfect song for all situations. The same can be said about food. <BR> Weddings, birthdays, you gotta have cake. Summer barbeques demand hot dogs and macaroni salad. Fall festivals have candy apples and pie. And don't get me started on holidays. <BR> The one thing that I insisted on this year with my family is to try and celebrate things without a lot of fatty food... Mon, 21 Jan 2013 21:26:33 EST Carrying The Weight Where to begin this one... <BR> It's not about physical weight today. I lost my dad a few months ago. I lost my mom a few years ago. I buried a friend last week. I wish there was a way to lose that weight because it is painful. <BR> But, in a way, it is a burden that I carry gladly. If my options are to feel the pain from losing them or to have never known them, I chose the pain without a moment's hesitation. I miss them. I love them. They are with me always. Sun, 20 Jan 2013 19:09:56 EST SUV When I was three hundred pounds, I knew my body. Seems kind of strange to say that. I didn't like my body, but I knew it. It was comfortable and familiar despite it's faults. I knew how much clearance I needed for hallways and doors, how much it hated the turnstile, how it handled around corners or down stairs. I could maneuver my three hundred pound self. <BR> This new model I got is weird. <BR> That's what going from bigger to smaller feels like. It's as if I drove a semi truck my whole lif... Sat, 19 Jan 2013 21:11:27 EST A Scarlett O'hara Moment I'm mad. <BR> I'll think about it tomorrow. Thu, 17 Jan 2013 20:03:12 EST Blog About Nothing in Particular #1 The highlight of my day had nothing to do with working out but it did happen at the gym. As soon as I got there, a woman was having trouble getting her car started. I am not mechanical at all, but I know how to put on jumper cables so I gave her a jump and she was able to go home. While I was in the gym, a different lady, older lady, was trying to figure out a machine and she was having a lot of difficulty, so much so that I thought she might hurt herself trying to figure it out. So I stopped... Wed, 16 Jan 2013 22:09:18 EST Back In The Good Old Days It's time to take a trip down memory lane. It's not always great to look back, but I feel the need so bear with me. I just get these hankerings for all this stuff. Like caramel mochiados. Big Macs. Jelly Beans. Coca Cola. Been thinking about them and the good old days when I could have them anytime I wanted. <BR> But then again, I can't just remember the parts of the past that were fun. I have to remember it all. There was a down side. Like seat belts that don't fit. Fear of chairs collapsin... Tue, 15 Jan 2013 21:32:25 EST The Pull Up Machine So I went to my new gym for the first time. It was awesome. It has a pool, steam room, sauna, cardio room, weight room, blah, blah, blah. Enough of the boring stuff. They have a pull up machine. <BR> Ok, like everyone pull ups remind me of gym class when I was in junior high and we had to do the President's fitness test. I could always do the grand total of ooooonnnnnee. All the kids standing around, talking by their hands, all proud because they could do two. <BR> Today I did 40! <BR> Now, ... Mon, 14 Jan 2013 21:21:56 EST One Year Later Back again. I had to shelve the Sparkpeople goal for most of last year. Unfortunately, my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer last January and passed in December. As most people who have lost their parents know, it is a pain one learns to live with, never fadin entirely, but not always the black abyss of despair. Unfortunately, dealing and coping with that situation, left me with a ten pound gain to carry along with my grief. <BR> Even through most of it, I ran <BR> Until...(completely ... Sun, 13 Jan 2013 22:37:19 EST 1/2: And That Was That End of one year and the beginning of another. As far as last year goes, it wasn't the best for my spark diet. I lost months of training, but as of 2012, I'm back and hopefully back on track. The holidays were rough, but after the final weight tally, I only gained two pounds. And (see previous entry) I had some bad days. Being honest, there was a week, but I digress. <BR> I'm hopeful. I made two New Year's resolutions and I already accomplished them, so go me. I hate resolutions, but people in... Mon, 2 Jan 2012 19:28:17 EST 12/19: The Return From The Darkside Let's see. <BR> There was the oatmeal pies. They're made in Amish country so there is lots of sugar and butter and they are fantastic. I ate a dozen in three days. <BR> Then there was the quart of Ben and Jerry's New York Fudge ice cream. Yum, but I ate the whole thing. <BR> Then there was the Coke. I was never much of a soda drinker and it was always Sprite, but Friday I woke up and couldn't go on without a Coke. I had four in three days. <BR> Three days of binging, eating and eating and eat... Sun, 18 Dec 2011 18:54:08 EST 12/09: Crisis Averted? It is very difficult to work for someone who is/was your friend. <BR> My friend got a supervisor job and when I was looking to change jobs, she contacted me and wanted me to come to work for her. We had worked together at another posting and had gotten on well, so I figured why not. <BR> Here's why not. When you work for someone who is/was your friend (at least my friend), there is a complete lack of boundaries. When I am at work I want a boss. That means I want someone to tell me what my g... Fri, 9 Dec 2011 21:18:46 EST 12/05: Something I Suck At I'm in stage three of the spark diet and the strategy of the week has to do with asking for help. Now, out of everything, I think that is the one thing I am really bad at. I don't have the patience for fishing, the grace for dancing, or the logic for math, but I'm much, much, much worse at asking for help. <BR> I broke my foot, badly. Still in a cast and I did it in August. The beginning of August. Will be in some sort of contraption until March when it should be healed. <BR> In that time, ... Sun, 4 Dec 2011 20:04:17 EST 12/03: Reason #4 Naming my motivations is really helping. I logged a loss last Saturday and this Saturday. I had stalled for three weigh ins previously. I knew that it was mindset. My lack of motivation was giving me a nonchalant attitude. I was sliding into old habits that eventually would have taken me right back to where I was. <BR> Reason four is because I like feeling confident. It isn't just about my body, that's good and fine, but I mean my attitude. I like feeling as though there is nothing I can't do... Sat, 3 Dec 2011 09:44:16 EST 12/01: Reason #3 Flagging motivation is getting better. I like writing down what I'm doing this for. <BR> It's a little embarrassing to say that I haven't had a steady guy in two years, but it is a reason. My ex dumped me and though he has never out and out said it was because I had gained weight, the woman he left me for was much smaller. I have to admit that it really hurt me. I felt somehow inadequate. I know the problem was his, even then I knew that if he couldn't love me no matter what I weighed then he... Thu, 1 Dec 2011 19:06:42 EST 11/29: Reason #2 Because I'm someone's aunt and she needs me. <BR> This is about Baby Girl. I need to be here for her because the one thing she needs is someone who loves her and understands. I've talked about her and the problem that she is facing. She'll come to me when she's ready and if I'm not living the life how can I tell her how to do this. She is walking, talking, breathing motivation and that has a power that I can hold onto as my inspiration flags. Tue, 29 Nov 2011 19:55:52 EST 11/28: Reason #1 The first reason is that I never want to be that person again. <BR> I've lost my way. My motivation lately has been nil and everyday has been a struggle, ten different struggles actually where I have to fight just to get out of bed in the morning. But, of course, when one is lost, the best thing to do is draw a map. <BR> The first point on a map to chart is where I've been. I have to remember where I was. I picture a day when I woke up and weighed 286.6 pounds. My back and hips ached from lay... Mon, 28 Nov 2011 20:39:37 EST 11/27: Stalling With everything that is happening lately, it's getting harder and harder to keep my spirits up. There is the foot thing. Can't workout, can hardly walk or drive or work. Everything is more effort and it's been months. I was off work so long that my finances are abysmal. Christmas is around the corner and I really don't feel up to the myriad of challenges that it brings. I feel very overwhelmed and it's taking all have to stay motivated. I feel my forward motion beginning to fail. I'm going t... Sun, 27 Nov 2011 09:53:13 EST 11/21: And...Still So it didn't go as I planned at the Doc's, but at least I got a few answers. The boot is still on. The fracture is healing, taking it's sweet old time. It's been since the beginning of August and Doc gave me a date when he thinks I'll be able to start training for my 10k again. March. March. March. I'll be in the boot until at least January, but no running, jumping, skiing, etc, etc, until March. <BR> It's just frustrating. I know I shouldn't whine. I'm complaining about a broken foot and th... Mon, 21 Nov 2011 18:00:31 EST 11/20: One/And How Losing Weight Is Like Going To See The Wizard. So, I'm sitting here watching the Wizard Of Oz. It's my favorite movie. I love it's optimism and cheer, reminding me of the special occasion it was to watch it when I was a child. We only had two channels and the Wizard came on once a year. Mom would make a special dinner, usually with a dessert which was rare, and she'd let us stay up later than our nine o'clock bedtime. It was the third biggest holiday in our house. <BR> As I was watching, I was entering my food in the Nutrition Tracker, an... Sun, 20 Nov 2011 12:18:42 EST 11/19: Two I wonder, wonder, wonder who wrote the book of love because I'd like to hit him over the head with it. <BR> I had a great date with this guy, I mean the best first date I've ever, ever had. We had great conversation, a lot in common, and definite chemistry. The goodnight kiss was smoking hot and everything I had to walk away, but I know the dangers of jumping into that particular pool. So why hasn't he called? It's been a week and I have accepted that he is not gonna call, but I would sure l... Sat, 19 Nov 2011 20:23:01 EST 11/18: Three Monday, I get my boot off. I just really want to type that over and over and over again. I'm so excited. Although I've said that the last four times I've one to the orthopedist. If he tells me another month, heck, another day, I might get a little cranky. I just got a new pair of boots and I'm dying to wear them. And it's been almost four months. Enough is enough. I'm going to run and skip and dance all day Monday. Ain't nothing gonna break-a my stride! Fri, 18 Nov 2011 15:45:16 EST 11/17: Four Four days until I get my boot off. But sadly, I hurt the extendor tendon in my middle finger today. I'm having the worst luck with this body lately! Does anyone know where I can get a trade in? I'm not looking for a twenty year old supermodel body, but something with a few less miles would be nice. I wake up in the morning and my knee and hip are stiff (motorcycle accident), my shoulder pops (softball), my neck and back ache (a hundred extra pounds). And from what I hear it only gets worse as... Thu, 17 Nov 2011 18:17:36 EST 11/16: Five Five days to go. <BR> I had a brainstorm this afternoon. I don't know why it took so long for me to figure this out. I was having first break at work and I ate my whole lunch! It was a healthy lunch, granola bar, fruit, nuts, low sodium turkey pita with baby spinach, but I finished it by 10. I had hours to go before I got home. For lunch I had to resort to the (music from old scary movie) vending machine. I never eat from the vending machine. It is empty calories, expensive, and, in my thinki... Wed, 16 Nov 2011 17:49:23 EST 11/15: Six Six days to go. <BR> I made an appointment to get my release for going back to the gym. My friend Amy is going with me to Zumba the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Most of the girls said we were crazy for going on the weekend after Turkey Day but we say they are crazy for not going. I've been reading a lot of articles about how many calories I'll be consuming on Thanksgiving and my arteries clogged a little. We do traditional at our house. They might let me get away with healthier stuff during t... Tue, 15 Nov 2011 14:49:20 EST 11/14: One Week And Counting One week from today the boot is gone. I'm so excited, I might do the cabbage patch (for those younger than thirty, it's a lame dance). It's kind of funny, I want it off so I can go to the gym and walk for a bit on the track, maybe a little spinning, but my friends want me to keep it. They want the handicap placard and me on crutches to use for Black Friday! (LOL) Mon, 14 Nov 2011 18:05:55 EST 11/13: Do You Want To See My Shoes? I wore shoes today! Not supposed to until next week, the 21st when I get to kiss the walking boot goodbye, but I couldn't wait. I snuck, made sure no one was around. Then I pulled my favorite Sketchers out of the back of the closet and slipped them on. I was wearing shoes! It was three months on Saturday since I've had two shoes on and I have to admit that it was fantastic. I took it a little farther. I went for a walk in them, don't tell anyone but I might have done a light jog, very slow an... Sun, 13 Nov 2011 20:45:29 EST 11/11: What Hurts The Most? Junior High! The saddest thing in this world is watching the person you love the most make the same mistakes that you did. Last night, my niece called me and wanted money to buy one of those lose weight doing nothing devices. I told her no and had a long talk with her about weight. I hated every minute because I know what it means. <BR> Baby girl is twelve and I love her so much it hurts, but I have been seeing this coming for a long time. Her BMI is higher than mine right now and she wears a size larger ... Fri, 11 Nov 2011 19:04:07 EST 11/10: Enough So in all the excitement of yesterdays huge news, (see Lucky, still reeling and he was so funny today at work, grinning and blushing, so sweet) and I forgot about something else. Last week, I had a argument with a girl at work and haven't really spoken to her since. It didn't matter to her that her accusation was completely unfounded, others spoke up for me and denied it, or anything else for that matter, she seemed like she wanted to be mad at me. There was an Amish fellow who vouched for me... Thu, 10 Nov 2011 21:00:25 EST 11/09: Lucky I am having the weirdest day! <BR> There are some things that you never think you are going to hear. They aren't real things. If someone came into the lunchroom and says they were abducted by aliens, I would say yeah right and go back to my yogurt. But today, OMG! <BR> So we are all sitting in the lunchroom and one of the girls comes in. She was shaking, tears in her eyes, could barely speak. We were concerned by her distress and asked her what was wrong. She could barely even say it. Her da... Wed, 9 Nov 2011 19:57:14 EST 11/08: A Blog About Blogging I'm not sure what I want to write about today. Having a blog helps, I must admit. It gives me a moment during the day to clarify my jumbled, mixed up thoughts. There is a million things going and going in my head. I'm thinking work and school and relationships and weight and friends and family and it never stops. This blog has given me the chance to take one thing that I thought about and really look at it. It's as if there is a crowd, a mob really, of voices clamoring in my head and the blog... Tue, 8 Nov 2011 19:26:51 EST 11/07: Adult Behavior When did I become "responsible"? <BR> I have to ask because it wasn't that long ago that I smoked, drank, and dated musicians that rode Harleys. I've been to Sturges. I love Las Vegas. And there was this one time in Utah...but I digress. <BR> Since I started Spark, I quit smoking. It interferes with my fitness program, is entirely too costly, and the appeal of it fails to, well, appeal to me. I'd rather have lung capacity for running than a menthol. <BR> About every other month I go out with... Mon, 7 Nov 2011 18:56:23 EST 11/06: See Tink Eat I have stumbled upon a pattern. I overate in calories today. Not a lot but enough that it bothered me. I went back through the past few weeks and looked to make sure, but it was there for all to see. <BR> I have to explain a little. <BR> My sister is tiny. I don't mean slender, or thin, I mean tiny. She's five foot, a hundred pounds. Her frame is what you think of when you hear dainty or frail. She's Tinkerbell. She wears a size zero and has her belly button pierced even though she's over thi... Sun, 6 Nov 2011 20:40:18 EST 11/03: The Best Advice One of the girls at work asked me today if I had a tip to help her lose ten pounds. I thought about all I had learned on Spark People and found the one I figured would be easiest to incorporate. I told her that studies have found that people who eat breakfast are more successful. <BR> This might seem like a fairly boring anecdote but it's actually a little shocking. She said no. She couldn't do that. <BR> I know I just looked at her for a minute. <BR> It blows my mind a little to hear someo... Thu, 3 Nov 2011 21:09:47 EST 11/02: Wit and Will Today was the day. I went to work and told my boss that I'm tired of sitting on my butt. I wanted my old job back. She gave me the whole song and dance about how I'm still in a walking cast and I can't do the physical part of my old job. I told her to give me one chance. <BR> My mom always said that most obstacles can be overcome by wit and will. I kept that in mind. As the day passed, if there was a job I couldn't do because it was too taxing for my foot, then I modified it, attacking it in ... Wed, 2 Nov 2011 20:52:04 EST 11/01: Goals For November For the month of November: <BR> Physically: I would like to resume my workout program. I said that in September when my first cast came off and in October when my second got taken off. Now, I'm in a walking cast and very hopeful. Plus, I've been looking into Zumba! <BR> Nutritionally: I want to learn how to cook at least three new recipes from my sparkpeople cookbook, include one more serving of veggies per day, and cut back on my "junk" just a little bit. <BR> Mentally: I always get a little... Tue, 1 Nov 2011 18:27:12 EST 10/31: October Adieu As the month closes, I find I am reflecting on all that has passed. Summer is gone and winter lurks just around the corner. I doubt there will be many more warm, sunny days, if any, this year and the holiday season is nearly upon us, bringing with it a myriad of pitfalls and pleasures. To all, I hope you are as content as I. Keep warm as it gets colder. Do not stress over the shopping or sugar cookies. And, most of all, (insert words of wisdom here). <BR> Goodbye October. Mon, 31 Oct 2011 19:50:57 EST 10/30: Guilted Cage I get confused about the role that guilt is supposed to play in this process. I read that it's okay to eat certain things as long as I don't over do it, but I get the impression that guilt is a tool to be used to monitor behavior. <BR> But I don't want my food to be flavored with guilt. <BR> I like "junk". I feel guiltier admitting it that than I do eating it. I can't eat it everyday, or even every week, but one or two a month, I'm ok with that. I believe in balance and what I eat on a dail... Sun, 30 Oct 2011 15:18:01 EST 10/28: Reward I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do for my rewards. I have some big things coming up and I want to treat myself well for all my hard work. I know the spiel about how living well is it's own reward and I see the point of that, but I believe accomplishments should be rewarded. <BR> I can do the small rewards. On the 21st of November, I'm getting my cast off and I think it's fitting that I get a new pair of shoes. I realize that the regrowing of a bone isn't actually an accomplishme... Fri, 28 Oct 2011 19:40:57 EST 10/27: WW III Over Halloween Candy Anyone who knows me, knows that petty squabbles are not my style. I go to work, mind my own business, and come home to the people that really matter to me and whose opinions I value. It really frost my cupcakes that I had to get that upset at work over a bag of Halloween candy. <BR> Here's the skinny, so to speak. <BR> A lady handed out goody bags full of candy and chocolate. I didn't want mine so I gave it away. She got angry with me and made a few comments about my attitude, called me a fe... Thu, 27 Oct 2011 18:27:59 EST 10/24: Rainy Days And Mondays It's Monday. It's rainy. I was supposed to get my cast off this morning, and I did, but they put another one on me. That was just mean if you ask me! I don't care though. The world can try and bring me down with crappy weather and disappointments, but I won't have it. I have Brad Pitt movies, a cute pair of shoes that I had planned on wearing today, and a goal worth keeping. Rain and Mondays and disappointments ain't got nothing on me! Mon, 24 Oct 2011 16:46:28 EST 10/23: And In Other News... I was so amused with what happened yesterday with my ex, that I lost focus on something that was actually important. I quit smoking, haven't had one in over a week. I was really surprised at how well it's going. I was so scared to quit! I thought, what if I gain a lot of weight, or turn into some version of Linda Blair from the Exorcist, but it went better than I thought. I smoked menthol, so I bought a big bag of Peppermint Patties and every time I wanted a cigarette, I ate one. I feel fine,... Sun, 23 Oct 2011 17:04:22 EST 10/22: I Couldn't Help Myself I am having such a good week. I got to go back to work, super happy about that after being off for nine weeks. I get my cast off on Monday which means I can start working out again and get back on track with my running program, or at least a walking program. Okay, here is the big news. I know it's terrible. I didn't lose 70 pounds to be a mean person. It's mostly to become a better version of myself, but I really couldn't help myself! My ex, my ex who left me for a thinner woman, my ex who du... Sat, 22 Oct 2011 19:20:14 EST 10/15: I'd Like You To Meet My Friend. Scale. For about seven years, I never went near a scale. I was afraid of what it would say. It was just better to not know. I could pretend that I wasn't busting out of yet another size and I figured if my weight got out of hand my friends and family loved me enough to tell me so. <BR> Then I had the "experience". Everyone has one. It's that moment where you realize something has to change. The first thing I did after mine was buy a scale because I had to know what I was up against. It was, in the l... Sat, 15 Oct 2011 13:13:06 EST 10/13: Down With Pancakes! Today sucks. I'm broke from being off work for nine weeks, my phone got shut off, and I have no gas in my car. Suck, suck, suck. And to top it all off, what I really want to do is go into the kitchen and make some pancakes, smothered in butter and syrup. It takes every bit of me to say no. I got fish out of the freezer so I can make a nice dinner. I did all my laundry and dishes, vacuumed and dusted. I am doing everything I can think of to get me over this rough spot and I know that tonight w... Thu, 13 Oct 2011 10:03:45 EST 10/12: It Is Unusual I did really good today on one goal and only so-so on another. I went nine hours without a cigarette today just seeing how long I could go without one. I didn't even feel the need until after I got off work. Tomorrow, I'll try again and maybe can go the whole day. That is my goal for tomorrow, one whole day without a cigarette. Now, the bad news. I have been trying to cut most bad sugars out unless they are planned. I usually say to myself, like with the cigarettes, how long can I go? I'm at... Wed, 12 Oct 2011 18:25:50 EST 10/11: Do I Really Want To? So I've been thinking about giving up my biggest stress reducer. I hate to admit it, it's socially unacceptable and bad for me, but I like the time I get to sit and relax and smoke my cigarette. I want to quit. The various health reasons are a big factor, not to mention saving so much money, but it's scary. What do I do with that time? What if I gain a bunch of weight? How do I decompress? What changes is it going to bring to my life? It's a big step that I'm not sure I'm ready to take. Tue, 11 Oct 2011 20:11:40 EST 10/10: Two weeks to go I get my cast off in two weeks. So excited. This has been a small setback, but it has given me greater appreciation of what i'm trying to accomplish. To often, people are limited by their weight, not living the lives that they want because it's harder when you carry around so many extra pounds. A broken foot means I can't run or walk, but I can still watch my calories, do strength training, educate myself, and make the best decisions I can. I appreciate more that I can have this cast removed ... Mon, 10 Oct 2011 10:16:34 EST