PRAYING4THIN's SparkPeople Blog PRAYING4THIN's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community DAY ONE!(again) Thats funny to write considering I have been a member here since 2009 and I am now at my heaviest weight ever, but I am starting all over again, wiping the slate clean. <BR> Goals for today: <BR> <BR> Stay in Calorie range <BR> Take at least a 10 minute walk <BR> Drink water only other than 1 glass of tea with my evening meal. <BR> <BR> I can so do this. It was frustrating to weigh in this morning and find my weight at its absolute highest but no use crying over it, just gotta get bac... Mon, 7 Jan 2013 08:30:19 EST Time for some changes So I have been trying this weightloss thing for years, yo yo dieting and such. I am tired of it. Especially now that my health is not good and dealing with the Hashimoto's. This year I am planning to find things that work for me. I want to try to get in the habit of meal planning, something I rarely do but is essential I think when you have a family to make this work. I need to get up and get moving, Not cry over the fact that walking around the yard is pitiful especially when I am out ... Sat, 5 Jan 2013 21:09:55 EST Happy New Year!!!! I have been missing since November!!! YIKES! Well goodbye 2012. It wasn't a good year. I ended the year heavier than I was at the beginning, no better health wise, no better financially but the Lord saw us through and I am hopeful 2013 will be a much better year. I am in need of a accountability partner. Perhaps someone that will email daily, facebook, text. I need all the help I can get and really do have to get serious. Anyone want a accountability buddy??? Tue, 1 Jan 2013 18:42:02 EST Halloween Candy everywhere The bad thing about Halloween is the candy in the house. I am not a candy addict I only really want certain kinds, luckily the girls didn't that much of my favorites, and those are fun size lol.. So trying my best :) My daughter is home sick today so other than laundry her and I are just going to hunker down and watch tv and pray she feels better soon, I hate seeing my babies sick Fri, 2 Nov 2012 08:23:52 EST Survived Saturday I wish I could report that I ate well but the truth is it wasn't a great day. I knew this weekend was going to be a challenge. I will not dwell in feeling bad about it I will try my best tomorrow and try to get back on track Monday. Sat, 27 Oct 2012 20:49:15 EST Computer Issues and a Full Weekend! Satan is trying to thwart my efforts. Last night my computer started acting funny, it freezes and then I can't even shut it down just have to power off. Its done it 6 times since last night this morning. Satan knows I need the support to help lose weight but he will not win, I've got this so in case I disappear you guys know what happened. <BR> <BR> Have I mentioned that I love Autumn. Its my favorite time of year. I love the fall colors, the crispy air, the clean cool smell. The buzz ... Thu, 25 Oct 2012 09:34:02 EST Temptations EVERYWHERE!!!! So I had to go out this morning. Dentist at 11 so of course when I was done I was hungry but still had to drive another 15 minutes out to pick up my new med samples and then 30 minutes home. I was CRAVING Taco Bell.... I wanted it so bad my mouth was nearly watering when I went by it. Then it was like a pull to every Fast Food Restaraunt I passed. Wendy's, Burger King, Long John Silvers. I would like to think it was sheer will power that made me pass them but I think it was more the fact... Wed, 24 Oct 2012 21:42:20 EST My name is Jeni.... I am a food addict First I want to thank all those that commented on my blog yesterday. Some great advice and support their. I reall y need as much support as I can get on this journey. And that is one thing that someone said yesterday I am not starting over, its a journey so I must continue after a break as opposed to starting over. That is overwhelming to the mind, body and soul and I am glad it was pointed out so again I thank you all. <BR> <BR> Now I am finally admitting I am a food addict. I would n... Wed, 24 Oct 2012 08:42:35 EST If you keep doing what you have always done..... Yes so everyone knows that saying.. If you keep doing what you have always done how do you expect things to change. Yet day in and day out I keep doing just that. Admittedly my health has not made things easy for me and perhaps it will be extremely hard for me to make these changes but doing nothing but complain or whine sure has done nothing. Same habits- same issues. So today I thought about coming and deleting my account here not because I plan to quit but I get tired of coming here ... Tue, 23 Oct 2012 14:24:57 EST Still Struggling I am not sure how to get out of this slump. Some days I think I am just going crazy. I stay so tired, I hurt all the time and getting up and doing anything these days is just so hard. Doctors look at me like I am crazy. I don't know what the deal is with and it makes me worse to even think about it. I know I need to do something but I don't know what. I keep praying, its all I know to do. Sat, 25 Aug 2012 21:38:44 EST My girls went back to school today Today my girls started school. My oldest is in 2nd grade my youngest started pre-k. Both had a great morning and went off to school without a hitch. I am used to my oldest in school but its hard getting used to my youngest being gone. <img src=""> Tue, 21 Aug 2012 12:07:57 EST My baby starts pre-k next week Well my baby will be starting school on Monday. Its with the public school and she goes all day, taking the bus.... all that jazz. I am sad as its my baby. But I am looking on the bright side too. I can focus on getting some things done at the house, grocery shopping alone (aahhhhh) and doing things for myself. My friend and I plan on walking and I plan to get my eating back on track. This year hasn't been the best in the weightloss department. I have only lost 11 lbs total but I still... Thu, 16 Aug 2012 13:46:39 EST Gluten Free? Ok so as some of you know I am dealing with Hashimoto's Disease. Not sure if its all that is going on with me besides the PCOS but anyway I have been researching diet for Hashimoto's and it looks like gluten free is the best way to go. Gluten is in everything and its very over whelming to me especially since its expensive and we are on a very tight food budget. I also found out that alot of things I shouldn't be eating like cabbage, kale, and many other "healthy" items. I will get all thi... Tue, 10 Jul 2012 22:31:38 EST Its been crazy lately Well we went on vacation, took the kids to Kings Dominion (amusement park) for three days. While there we got really bad storms. Knocked the power off at the house here. We ended up losing all our food. I walked alot but got blisters on my feet and now my feet are swollen and so are my fingers. My husband went to the dr yesterday. His cholesterol is really high so we are going on a special diet, gotta get healthy. He also is having a few other problems so please keep him in your praye... Tue, 3 Jul 2012 11:02:55 EST Rainy Monday Of course the day I plan to go walking it rains, never fails, lol..... Supposed to rain here through till Wednesday. I am hoping to create a weightloss group among friends, I had a few interested but would any of them actually come to meetings will remain to be seen. I have my food all planned out for today so I am planning for today to be a great day. I was watcing that weightloss show that comes on ABC, I still cant see how those people can lose that much weight in 90 days, thats insane... Mon, 11 Jun 2012 10:28:58 EST An okay day Breakfast and Lunch was okay today but totally bombed out at dinner time, but there is always tomorrow. The girls and I had fun making crayon frogs, hearts and cars though! Tue, 5 Jun 2012 22:08:31 EST Aggravated.. yet determined. January and February were great months. I lost 20 pounds and a change in my medication brought some relief, March wasn't good but wasn't bad. April and May were awful and resulted in me gaining back 13 pounds. This aggravates me to know end but its over and done with. Today I am determined to start eating healthier and move more no matter how tired I am. I am losing precious time and losing this battle. I don't want to be crying 2 years from now at 300 pounds.... 300 pounds looms ahead... Mon, 4 Jun 2012 07:20:59 EST Ok Treadmill, you are not a coat rack or a dust collecting trinket!!! I don't know if your area has caught on to this but my area has about 20 facebook online yardsale sites and I am addicted!!! Its awesome I can get things cheap and sell all my unused items.... So last week I found a treadmill for $120. Its like brand new the owner said it was used less than 3 hours and bought just 2 years ago so I made the purchase. It hasn't found its home yet as I need to make some room in my bedroom but so far all I have done is look at it. I MUST find the energy to p... Mon, 14 May 2012 09:02:19 EST Absence makes the heart grow fonder? Lol I don't know about all that but I have been absent. Lift got a little crazy around here. We had 2 deaths in the family in the last 2 weeks. On the night of my Great Uncle's viewing another great uncle passed away. So its been hectic and I have been feeling awful. I went back to the dr for my bloodwork and all my numbers were okay so therefore they can't do anything, so now I am thinking I need to go back to the regular dr to find out what else could be going on and I have a strong di... Fri, 11 May 2012 16:57:20 EST A new day, A new month So I have been off plan for almost a month now and I need to get myself back on track. I weighed this morning and I am up 8 pounds. Not happy about that but nothing I can do but stop it from becoming 9 pounds. Going to hit the grocery store for some healthy food and stop wallowing in my own fat, self pity... party is over! Tue, 1 May 2012 09:31:28 EST The Video Today I was looking at my daughter's video's she took on her camera and there is one of my today from behind while I was cooking. I wanted to cry. That fat behind is ME! How could I let that happen to me and why can't I get my crap together?????? Mon, 30 Apr 2012 20:19:19 EST I am a imposter on my own page I have not been doing well. I have 1 million excuses but the truth is I have fallen off the wagon. My medications have not been working this time around so I am back to sleeping alot and when I am not sleeping I want to be sleeping. Not only have I not felt like going to the gym, I cant afford the gas to go to the gym so I haven't been in 3 weeks and since I haven't been going to the gym I have just given myself permission to eat whatever. 2 weeks ago I got on the scale to see a 10 pound ... Fri, 27 Apr 2012 08:42:35 EST Have not been doing that well Yes I admit that the last week has not been good. I mean I haven't done AWFUL but I have not done well either. I went to the dr yesterday and he bumped up my thyroid medication so hopfully within a week I will find some more energy and I am hoping it lasts longer this time. I will go back in May for more bloodwork. I do not have a gym partner for 2 weeks and I am just not at a place where I will go alone. I am going to try and be more active outside with the kids though and going to real... Wed, 4 Apr 2012 09:56:34 EST Ahhh late night exerising... to do or not to do. I am having a hard time getting my exercise in this week. I provide daycare for a boy in the evenings after school. Usually she only works 2 nights out of the week but this week she is working three. So I didn't go to the gym on Monday or Tuesday, I went last night but she doesn't get off till late again tonight. I really like to get to the gym at least 3 times a week so I am contemplating going tonight. I told my gym friend that I would let her know if I am going. The earliest I would ... Thu, 29 Mar 2012 08:40:14 EST No motivation so far this week I am not doing that great this week. I ate ok yesterday but today I didn't even count my calories for dinner and I ate cookies for dessert :( I did go to the dr today and hoping that once he increases my meds again I will get some more energy. I will be heading to the gym tomorrow, can only make it two times this week. Not giving up, but just not having the best couple of days. Anway Easter is right around the corner I just got 2 pieces of candy each for my girls. I plan to get them... Tue, 27 Mar 2012 21:59:05 EST Disappointed and Discouraged I hate clothes shopping. Plus size clothing is not pretty. The new styles do not fit big women that are apple shaped (I mean do any clothes?) I need clothes in general but yesterday I went specifically looking for a dress for Easter. I found one I liked so I bought it to try on when I got home, (who can at the store with 2 kids) so anyway I get home and try it on this morning. It was clingy. I stood looking at it and can tell where I have lost weight, I also know alot of people where clo... Sun, 25 Mar 2012 10:18:15 EST -20 WOOHOO Well I am a little aggravated with my tracker. Years ago I joined sparkpeople and never did much, but when I came back in January I tried to change everything, well my starting weight was 1 pound off so I left it so that is no big deal HOWEVER it kept my goal from years ago so my graph keeps showing like a 50 pound difference between what I am now and my goal weight for this time. Its a little discouraging to say the least. Everytime I try to fix it, it still shows the same. ANYWAY!!!! I... Fri, 23 Mar 2012 09:34:51 EST Fighting temptation When I got up this morning my daughter was complaining about her stomach hurting. Her stomach always hurts, she wasn't running a fever so I sent her on her merry way to school. Around lunchtime the school calls to tell me she is running a fever and complaining her stomach was hurting. Well I got up to get dressed to get her and it dawned on me that I forgot to share with you all one of my small but wonderful accomplishments. Friday before going on my anniversary weekend getaway I realised... Thu, 22 Mar 2012 14:07:58 EST Sweet Strawberries, yummy! Had a great day eating today. Ended my day slightly under my calorie range, Stayed full all day, no cravings and even got to enjoy sliced strawberries with 2 Tbsp of Fat Free whip cream. DELICIOUS! I love strawberries and feel like I am getting a treat when I get to buy them and eat them. I didn't get to go to the gym today since I had my daycare kid till late tonight but definately will go tomorrow and Friday and hopefully all weekend as well. Wed, 21 Mar 2012 21:27:53 EST Sorry my whining is over I put on my big girl panties and made it to the gym tonight after reading some very motivational blogs. And when I got home the scale was much friendlier to me, AGAIN mind games with the scale and I see I still have a tendency to fall back into that woe is me, I messed up so its all over mentality, at least now I can recognize that and I don't dwell there. My head is clearer and things will be better, this weight will come off. It might take a little longer than I am hoping for but it wil... Tue, 20 Mar 2012 22:00:51 EST Struggling I am really struggling. I didn't have a great weekend with the eating, didn't do as bad as I use to but certainly didn't do good either. The scale has me up 3 pounds and as much as I need to go to the gym I don't want to go tonight. I have to go at night and its hard to go at night, usually I am tired after all the day's activities and trying to fit it in after homework, dinner and baths is just hard. Its an excuse though, but whatever it is I am struggling. 3 months and I have only los... Tue, 20 Mar 2012 17:25:27 EST Stupid Scale That darn scale lies, I tell you. LIES!! The scale has me up 2 pounds, really disappointing but trying to remember that it doesn't matter, I need to keep on, keeping on and it will go back down. Still can't help but feel discouraged at the number. This weekend being our anniversary weekend I hope I can get the eating under control. Tue, 13 Mar 2012 09:06:23 EST Thanks everyone! I want to thank you all for the thoughts, kind words, prayers and spark goodies in regards to the death in our family. The Family is hanging in there. Knowing he was a Christian and is waiting in heaven for us makes everything easier. So thanks again. Please keep his parents, wife, child, sister and grandmother in your prayers as they will need them in the days to come. <BR> <BR> I still am having a huge problem with weekend eating. I have got to get this under control. I do well durrin... Mon, 12 Mar 2012 09:30:02 EST Keep my family in your prayers First I will start by saying I am having a fabulous week. Made it to the gym on Monday and Tuesday. I have eaten within my calorie range and the scale numbers are going down this week.. WOOHOO.... My mom called me at the gym last night and I texted her back to tell her I was at the gym and she asked me to call her back which is never a good sign. I got home and found out my cousin's 27 year old son had been killed in a work related accident. My heart is so heavy for them. I am not sure... Wed, 7 Mar 2012 07:45:11 EST Its a new week!!!! Well I plan to make this week count! I wrote out a weight goal chart of 2 pounds a week. I am hoping this will help me visually and keep me in check. Also going to plan my eating plan for the week. I know I should be able to make it to the gym on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday of this week and its warm enough that I might be able to walk outside on Wednesday. I am planning on making this at least a 2 pound weightloss week! Mon, 5 Mar 2012 09:41:13 EST Disappointed in my past week I had a bad week. I did not feel well. I didn't make it to the gym. It was a really bad week. I know that my thyroid is all out of whack and I can't decided whether to try and get a earlier appointment or just leave it alone (I go back for blood work on March 27th) I know that the thyroid is going to give me setbacks until I am at complete hormone supplementation but I don't want to accept that. Its a long hard road and I am just ready to drop this weight and I am tired of being tired. ... Sun, 4 Mar 2012 16:52:28 EST Hashimoto's Well as some of you know I am dealing with Hashimoto's disease. A little over a year ago I was diagnosed with hypothryoidism. Put on medication and my thyroid numbers just kept getting worse. I spent well over a year of my life sleeping it away. Anyway I finally got in to see the Thyroid specialist in the beginning of January and he diagnosed me with Hashimoto's. An Auto Immune disease where the antibodies in my body are killing off my thyroid. Its a slow process where I have to keep ha... Wed, 29 Feb 2012 09:07:03 EST This is a no quit zone! I really struggled yesterday Knowing I didn't lose any weight last week, Knowing I can't go to the gym but one day this week and combined that yesterday would have been my Granny's 82nd birthday. She passed away in 2005 and I miss her so much. So I struggled, I wanted to go to the gym last night and my friend didn't want to go and I am not ready to go by myself yet. And tomorrow is the only other day I can go this week so I was bummed. Anyway I ate. I had the calories for my granola bar... Tue, 28 Feb 2012 08:18:39 EST I can do this!!!! I am saying that to myself 1000 times over today just because I am battling my mind today. Years past I let my mind take over and all the negativity that comes from my old way of thinking. My goal when I started was to try and lose 10 pounds a month so I could lose 100 within the year. I knew that it was a doable goal but also would require total commitment and so far that total commitment has not be there (aka my awful weekend choices) I would have to lose the entire 5 pounds this week to... Mon, 27 Feb 2012 09:25:41 EST Minus Zero Well I didn't lose anything this week but it wasn't a huge suprise. I have 5 more pounds to lose before I hit the 20 pound mark and I am not sure what what I will use as a reward. I am thinking a pedicure. I have never had one so it would be a little treat. So going to really push myself the next couple weeks to make this happen. Sun, 26 Feb 2012 09:25:35 EST Weekend eating, alot of the time= Fast Food And fast food is the enemy. Its not every weekend, just on the weekends when we are busy like this weekend. Tonight i had to go to the gym early and I grabbed fast food. Tomorrow my daughter wants pizza since she is having a friend over. I am hoping to make better choices tomorrow. I am scared I am not going to have a loss this week especially if this weekend goes bad. I truly need to learn to plan my weekends better so I am not turning to the fast food that my family convinces me we sh... Fri, 24 Feb 2012 22:47:48 EST I stuffed my face :( Well I haven't been feeling well the past couple days and last night because I didn't feel like cooking my husband took us out to eat. Well he took us to a chinese buffet. I didn't choose well but honestly I did great compared to 3 months ago. I ate one plate, got me another but only ate 2 shrimp off of it and did not get any dessert. Well I got up this morning and was showing a 4 pound gain ( I really do need to learn not to look at the scale) anyway I had alot of running around to do, m... Tue, 21 Feb 2012 23:10:03 EST Women issue's..... a question Just wanting to know if any of you had issues with your menstrual cycle after you started your program and losing weight. My period is now 7 days late and I am usually pretty regular. I know I have read before that exercising and dieting can mess up the cycle but just wanting to know if anyone here had experienced that first hand. Thanks! Mon, 20 Feb 2012 15:29:45 EST Patience Well after the gain of 2 pounds on Sunday and then waking up Monday to have it back down, the scale hasn't moved. I know I am only half way through the week but would really like to see a loss this week. Like any of us striving for a goal its empowering to see the change on the scale. I logged into my yahoo e-mail account this morning while slightly disappointed that this week may end up without a loss and read my Healthy Reflection from Spark People. I have read it before and maybe even ... Thu, 16 Feb 2012 08:13:03 EST Not feeling well Yesterday I felt achy and was thinking it was because I stepped up the weights at the gym. By last night I was feeling nauseous and tired. Today I am still feeling that way. Just wanting to lay around and sleep. Praying I feel better soon. Really need to get back to the gym tomorrow! Wed, 15 Feb 2012 14:03:20 EST Hit the gym last night Felt so good to be back at the gym last night after 3 nights not going. I stepped up my weights. A little sore today. Also I knew that when I tried to start of doing 3 mph it didn't work out well. Pain starts in my feet and up my leg so last night I just started at 2.7 worked my way up to 3.0 and when I couldn't take the pain in my leg I went back down and for the last 4 minutes I increased back up to 3.0 and did .5 incline. Not great but I am only a month and a half in and this girl has... Tue, 14 Feb 2012 13:30:14 EST Scale made me smile.... Ok so this morning I was back down the 2 pounds the scale was showing me yesterday. I will take that and work harder this week so I lose this week. 4 more months till the girls will be hounding me to go to the pool and hopefully 5 more and we will be heading to the beach. I would really like to lose 50 pounds by then but at the rate I am going that probably won't happen but going to strive for it anyway!!! I think I am going to move my weigh in day to Friday's. Hoping to get to the gym a... Mon, 13 Feb 2012 09:52:36 EST The scale went in the wrong direction today :( Well I gained 2 pounds this week. I know I didn't do great this week, didn't exercise like I should have and its also almost that T.O.M. I am fairly disappointed in myself. I am taking the girls to the movies and my weakness is the popcorn and I have to get the bucket because my youngest will not sit in a movie unless she has a never ending supply of popcorn. We use to could sneak stuff into this movie but now they have people checking often and have kicked people out for bring in their o... Sun, 12 Feb 2012 20:13:17 EST Disappointed in myself I have not had a good week. I didn't do great food wise. Didn't do awful but didn't do as good as I should have. Only made it to the gym 2 times this week which is just awful and I am still not disciplined enough to do it at home. I won't be suprised if I have a gain this week. I haven't even been on the scale in several days. Too scared but tomorrow is official weigh in day so I guess I will find out tomorrow. This coming week will be better! Sat, 11 Feb 2012 20:10:06 EST Not one person commented on my previous blog! Interesting!!! Anyway. I am disappointed that this week is not looking good for me and the gym. I will only get to go 2 days this week :( I am also up 2 pounds since Sunday and not sure why. I need to stay off the scale till weigh in day but I have a hard time doing that Tue, 7 Feb 2012 22:50:27 EST