POETICJUSTUS's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=POETICJUSTUS POETICJUSTUS's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Stress log 4/19 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5675488 Finances have me Stressed. I actually tried to get out in horrible Friday traffic to apply for a second job. It was a lesson in frustration. I forgot to deep breath , or even to try to sit quietly and visualize a positive outcome. The result was not enough sleep,and eating junk food . I'm a mess. However today is a new day. I will not quit! <em>527</em> <em>33</em> Sat, 19 Apr 2014 04:20:59 EST Working on Stress-less Day 3/ stress log 4.15 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5672521 Slept 4-5 hrs. less than I'm used to ( not counting yestyerday ) but it boomeranged on me . I woke up with so much energy I couldn't sleep. I Did some service wk for an organization I volunteer for a few hrs and , & was eventually able to get back to sleep. I was invited to an event to see Natalie Cole . I absolutely adore her , what a treat. A friend is taking me . The stinking thinking didn't begin until he said ," Make sure you're beautiful, we're going to try and go back stage to meet he... Tue, 15 Apr 2014 04:33:52 EST stress log 4.14 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5671690 8 hrs of sleep <em>244</em> <BR> 2 hot meals <em>244</em> <BR> journalising in stress blog <em>244</em> again! Let the distressing begin!! <em>20</em> Mon, 14 Apr 2014 03:26:18 EST ""Stress Busting"" http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5670887 Well here we go, didn't sleep @ all ,asthma. I did eat a hot meal (one of my goals) kinda over committed. Today's a new day, Right! I WILL DE-STRESS! I mean, Omm. <em>414</em> Sun, 13 Apr 2014 02:58:08 EST Now Challenge http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5670250 I have just joined the , "Stress Busting Team, "(I'm a serial joiner, Yikes)! Since stress can definitely factor into weight gain, I'm going to try ...AGAIN ! I tried once before but it seemed like a waste of my time. So this time I will follow directions. Hopefully I will gain knowledge and be less stress. Who can't use that? <em>531</em> <em>521</em> <em>530</em> <em>386</em> Sat, 12 Apr 2014 05:01:49 EST Sparkpeople, spark people! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5665444 Wow! I don't know what I was expecting but the outpouring of support and down right common sense got my Mo Jo going! Be the Parent, be the parent...I'll chant this during my work out! Awesome then I'll put the lil' brat ( Lil' Carolyn) in time out!! Do we ever have some A+ parents in our community! Thank y'all ,everyone of you. You know Sparkpeople really do ,spark people...... Blessings Carolyn <em>304</em> <em>521</em> <em>526</em> <em>304</em> Sun, 6 Apr 2014 03:54:17 EST I Don't want to! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5664746 I'm having an outta body expeorence! I'm watching little Carolyn telling Big Carolyn , "I don't want to exercise, I don't wannna! " This is insanity! My life depends on me doing the work. I don't know what I'm afraid of . I've tried so many time before ,diets I don't stick with, gym memberships I don't attend. Books DVD's...shots , support meetings. Why wont' I " just do it!" What's the worst that can happen ! Someone will shame me, I'll get sore? I'm sore right now dragging 100 + pounds a... Sat, 5 Apr 2014 02:23:13 EST When No turns nasty!!! ) : http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5663784 The "No" I was so proud of a few days ago turned on me, YIKES . I will hold my ground it's lonely, kinda even scary but, I have this inkling that this will be good for me. I'm developing a support group of friends. If you haven't done this yet Spark People is the place to be! Blessings Carolyn <em>381</em> <em>521</em> <em>386</em> <em>220</em> Thu, 3 Apr 2014 20:23:02 EST When No turns nasty!!! ) : http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5663783 The "No" I was so proud of a few days ago turned on me, YIKES . I will hold my ground it's lonely, kinda even scary but, I have this inkling that this will be good for me. I'm developing a support group of friends. If you haven't done this yet Spark People is the place to be! Blessings Carolyn <em>381</em> <em>521</em> <em>386</em> <em>220</em> Thu, 3 Apr 2014 20:22:59 EST Try Something New! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5660476 Today I tried something new , I said No! It wasn't mean, selfish or hateful. I put me first. It's a weird feeling but with practice I think this is something that I can get use to. Even though the person I said no to tried to get their way , I stayed the course,and it was okay. I feel so much better doing it. Not at all like a Meanie. I love not feeling like a doormat. Blessings Y'all. <em>244</em> <BR> <em>521</em> <em>345</em> Mon, 31 Mar 2014 02:01:53 EST Today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5659639 Today was a great day. I didn't think I would have another in light of the changes happening in my life. I was so down I actually felt pain. I talked things over with a friend . Read some positive info that I think I will commit to read daily. I got some rest and took my medicine the way I should. It makes such a difference. When I don't have to rush and leave out things that are important to me things seem to work so much better. I'm @ work getting ready for the night . I pray a good night s... Sat, 29 Mar 2014 22:40:10 EST I am Starting Anew http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5655860 Hi Y'all! Here I go ! My goals were taken from my start page motivators. <BR> 1.) Get Organized- that will be a miracle in itself. People who practice Feng Shui say It's difficult to positively exist chaos. <BR> 2.)Be Grateful, I still have my feet, my sight ,and a reasonable portion of my mind (- : <BR> 3.)Cook more /eat out less. This means writing down everything I put in my mouth, YIKES! <BR> 4.) Eat more freggies. <BR> 5.) Build Confidence, this is a God thing, if I ain't confident ... Tue, 25 Mar 2014 02:25:26 EST I going to Write down http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5655829 Journaling helped so much a few months ago I decided to try again.... Blessings everyone. <em>524</em> Tue, 25 Mar 2014 00:37:52 EST I Did It Again! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5617148 <em>40</em> <em>40</em> I went to my apartment office and asked for instruction on the gym equipment ! They say do something that scares you everyday. YIKES! The gym floor didn't open up and swallow me. The office managers didn't laugh and I got very good instructions on the Elliptical & the treadmill. How's that for SCARY! Did you do anything scary today? <em>40</em> <em>40</em> Thu, 6 Feb 2014 17:49:37 EST I Did It! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5613603 I did it! I created and put up my Vision Collage. This was really a road block for me. It 's as if I could not see myself having a happy future. I just couldn't seem to do the collage. Maybe I had problems seeing myself, not just skinny but happy. Oh Joy ! Oh rapture ! I placed it on the wall across from my bed. It's the first thing I see in the morning , the last thing @ night & late night bathroom trips. WooHoo! Ain't it grand! Blessings..... Carolyn. <em>185</em> <em>129</em> <em>... Mon, 3 Feb 2014 02:39:06 EST I'm all Blogged OUT! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5593145 I'm all Blogged OUT! Love Y'all , L8r. <em>334</em> <em>253</em> Tue, 14 Jan 2014 05:26:35 EST A Lovely Day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5591852 What a great Sunday! I was able to stay awake and worship with my spiritual family. I miss them when I can't make it to church. Then home to bed for a nice day's rest. I'm at work happy , healthy and grateful. Hope your day was lovely as well. <em>334</em> <em>223</em> <em>223</em> <em>252</em> Mon, 13 Jan 2014 00:49:57 EST Fill the Void? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5590804 Now that I've lost 8 hrs @ wk I need to fill the void. I met with friends for coffee & griped about my loss, but you can only do that so long, Yuck. I guess I'm hurt & a little afraid. Now that I'm on my own , living in such an expensive city, it frightens me a little that I have no one to fall back on. I'm single and 50+& life isn't a rehearsal. I better get it right or as close to right as I can. I'm going to job hunt Monday . I hate selling myself over & over but that might give me a litt... Sun, 12 Jan 2014 00:11:47 EST A Loss is a Gain? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5589799 I lost 8 hours of work doing a little organizational job that I really love. I'm really upset because there was input from other co-workers that caused me to lose the time. They were upset because they didn't have the ability to see or tell me what to do & when to do it. I loss pay but now I'll get some rest or have time to job hunt. I'm getting to lod for this. <em>18</em> Sat, 11 Jan 2014 00:58:46 EST What an Awesome Day! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5585168 Hope your day was a good one . I rested,& ate as well as I could(still a wk in progress).Looked for someone to help & thanked God for being able to participate in this day. Blessings..... Carolyn <BR> <em>425</em> <em>390</em> <em>386</em> <em>185</em> Tue, 7 Jan 2014 02:28:04 EST What a Feeling! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5583816 I have recently been making decisions without guilt. This is a miracle for me. I'm a big time people pleasing chick & it's a drag on my serenity. Recently I have been able to , say No or Yes without feeling like a boob. Awesome!. For people new to the SP community, the support here , the studies , quizzes & blogging is directly responsible for this change. Dive in take what you like & leave the rest go @ your own pace , but Go! Happiness , excitement, a little fear & adrenalin pumping joy is ... Mon, 6 Jan 2014 02:46:28 EST Happy Sunday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5582591 I got lots of sleep yesterday & I forced myself up & out into a beautiful day. I haven't gotten into a groove yet but slow and easy wins the race , right?.... Blessings, have a great Sunday. <BR> <em>381</em> <em>381</em> <em>220</em> <em>212</em> <em>212</em> <em>247</em> <em>381</em> <em>381</em> Sun, 5 Jan 2014 03:41:33 EST Sleep schedule http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5581533 I feel as though I sleep too much. I get off wk at 6:30 am & sleep till noon. I eat something then back to bed. The thing is I feel like warm over what ever when I get up for wk. My system is so extreme, in the summer I'm an insomniac now I sleep too much. Looking forward to a balance life! <BR> Sat, 4 Jan 2014 04:38:02 EST The Doors have opened http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5580190 I feel so light and carefree today. I feel like the door of His storehouses have opened up and are raining blessing out on me. I started my plans for the New Year today. " You know ," Fail to plan, plan to fail." . I finished the financial plan. So on to the physical. The Spiritual takes care of itself as long as I seek Him. ...........Blessings <BR> <em>185</em> <em>425</em> <em>521</em> <em>444</em> Fri, 3 Jan 2014 00:03:43 EST Hope http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5576271 Praise God from whom all Blessings Flow. I'm so thankful for so much. I'll spare y'all the list, but know you guys are @ the top of it. There has been so much Hope & love expressed here my hope is to do the same in the new year for others. Blessings. <BR> <em>409</em> <em>236</em> <em>283</em> <em>236</em> Tue, 31 Dec 2013 04:48:39 EST Hello http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5576089 It's been a wonderful day. I got up ,got out, and met with friends. I'm going to attend a good friend's nuptials, and I'm living life right now . Not 100 lbs from now. Where is that located any way? ......Blessings and pleasant dreams... <em>102</em> Mon, 30 Dec 2013 22:29:42 EST Vision Collage http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5573518 The whole time I've been a part of the SP community I have resisted doing a collage. It's as though I feel if I do it I'll be refused or fail. Well what's the best that could happen. Hereeeee I go! <BR> <em>185</em> <em>425</em> <em>389</em> <em>185</em> Sat, 28 Dec 2013 05:17:36 EST Merry Christmas! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5571821 Blessings to all! I'm so happy to be part of the community. I'm hoping all Sparkers or doing what they love tonight. I hope you all have someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to........................................<BR>Blessings <BR> <em>43</em> <em>444</em> <em>252</em> <em>446</em> <em>445</em> Wed, 25 Dec 2013 21:01:18 EST Employee Christmas Party! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5570859 Oh what fun ! Fellowship , gift giving and just enjoying each other. The supervisors gave cute fun gifts & expressed their appreciation for us., It was awesome. <em>442</em> Tue, 24 Dec 2013 03:49:45 EST Party ! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5570246 Tonight 's the Employee's Christmas Party. I am not going to freak over the goodies but concentrate on enjoying the people there. Have a great Monday. <BR> <em>443</em> <em>442</em> <em>442</em> <em>443</em> <em>442</em> <em>442</em> Mon, 23 Dec 2013 04:05:29 EST I'm so Psyched! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5569643 Woo Hoo I'm so psyched! This my 1st Christmas alone. I have more options and outings than I can shake a turkey leg at , yea! I'm going to go to church and see a few friends . I'm still mailing Christmas cards ,I love it!! I think this is the first non- sugar sugar high that i have ever had. Wheeeee! See Y'all.....Blessings <BR> <em>446</em> <em>445</em> <em>446</em> <em>443</em> <em>446</em> Sun, 22 Dec 2013 02:38:15 EST I Love this time of Year! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5568426 Blessings to all! I thank y'all for being my support , my shoulder to cry on & the ones' I celebrate my victories with. I had another endocrinology appointment and the labs were good . I'm going to increase a medicine that hopefully will lower my cholesterol & The LC lifestyle change can only help. I bought the Beck diet book. I'm hoping for guidance . Wish me Love! Blessings <BR> <em>26</em> <em>446</em> <em>26</em> <em>445</em> Fri, 20 Dec 2013 02:58:03 EST Happy my Friday! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5566172 It's my,Friday again Yea! Yesterday was fantastic. THERE'S NOT A LOT TO ELABORATE ON. I'll be setting small goals starting today. I have also decide to buy a real Christmas tree and decorate my brains out. Love y'all. Blessings <BR> <BR> <em>389</em> <em>381</em> <em>445</em> <em>443</em> Tue, 17 Dec 2013 02:16:08 EST Happy my Friday! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5566171 It's my,Friday again Yea! Yesterday was fantastic. THERE'S NOT A LOT TO ELABORATE ON. I'll be setting small goals starting today. I have also decide to buy a real Christmas tree and decorate my brains out. Love y'all. Blessings <BR> <BR> <em>389</em> <em>381</em> <em>445</em> <em>443</em> Tue, 17 Dec 2013 02:15:38 EST On into the Fog.. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5564601 On into the fog , I say that a lot when I don't have direction. I blogged yesterday & was rather negative but honest. So enough of that. It's just not a good fit. I'm looking into a Low carb lifestyle, & I see no "cons". So hereeee I go! <em>185</em> <em>185</em> <em>389</em> <em>446</em> <em>425</em> Sun, 15 Dec 2013 01:16:26 EST Just Venting... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5563974 Working it tonight! Sitting at the computer remembering when my boss told me my 50+ year old hoo-ha would be using a computer . I LOOKED AT IT AS THOUGHT IT WAS HUMAN ! A big human, a big mean human,here to show my complete and total computer illiteracy. Now I can't wait to log on & blog. I think I'll try this with my recent friend loss relationship with food. Now I'm off to find a replacement . Exercise Yikes! No getting around it. Walking from my car a few feet leaves me winded. Not a good ... Sat, 14 Dec 2013 03:03:33 EST Learning everyday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5561011 I know I need to lose weight to live a better life. I have to be honest , food is my everything . When my 4 kids were small as a single Mom I leaned heavily on food, now some of my kids are heavy. Now that the nest is empty Food is my comfort and my best friend,always there for me through corny Christmas movies, Valentine Weddings , My goodness let's not even talk about the month of June brides. Now that I'm 56, I'm invisible to men as well. Oh great ,if someone whistles in my direction there... Tue, 10 Dec 2013 04:48:29 EST Here's to a quite night. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5560199 A quite night at work, with a little exception. Hope y'all had a good Sunday.... Blessings <em>252</em> Mon, 9 Dec 2013 03:36:06 EST Ahhhh Relief ( : http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5558043 The weather has changed ! It went from 70-69^ to 38^. the pain has gone. Wow, I'm glad I tried to hang in there & move. It really made a big difference. Thanx for the support. You guys ROCK!! <em>304</em> <em>445</em> <em>444</em> <em>244</em> <em>304</em> Fri, 6 Dec 2013 00:28:58 EST Challenging Day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5556948 Today is challenging . I'm in a lot of PAIN , ARTHRITIC I THINK. That means a BIG change in he atmospheric conditions in a few says. That's cool, The pain stops as soon as the weather changes. I just have to keep moving . It's hard to hit a moving target <em>334</em> ! I want to take a pain reliever and go to bed or couch, which ever comes first. I decided to go to the library , since I don't have a computer anymore. So I'm going to try to not be lazy. Blessings Wed, 4 Dec 2013 16:59:58 EST Crisis! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5554753 A awful situation happened at the job today. The authorities had to be included! I realize a little to late that it sparked an overeating episode. Two great things came out of this, 1.) I recognized my discomfort triggered my wanting to medicate with something to numb me or make me feel less afraid and 2.) I was able to turn the oncoming binge into a meal , a Big meal, but the binge stopped. I have got to find a way to deal with my feelings at the onset of them. Any ideas? Thank you in advanc... Mon, 2 Dec 2013 04:16:45 EST Level 14 YeeeeHaaaa! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5553886 Level 14 Hot Dog! Today I feel great! The banged up feelings from the wreck are almost history. My car's out of the shop and I'm mobile again. Thanx for all the support and prayers during this time. It was a month on the 28th that I fell asleep behind the wheel on my way from work. God blessed me & saved my life, and AIN'T it Grand. Blessings <BR> <em>304</em> Sun, 1 Dec 2013 05:08:50 EST Isn't it Marvelous! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5553165 Gratitude is the word for the day! I was visiting with friends & one our associates started on a tear about "How people are depressed after the holidays." I have no idea what she was talking about & got a little ticked off. Now that I have had a little time to distance myself from her I can remember . There was a time that holidays were not my favorite time of year. Especially when I was on the "cabbage diet" or the "hot dog- jelly bean diet" , just made those up (hee-hee), but yes I can re... Sat, 30 Nov 2013 03:08:21 EST Hi y'all http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5549576 Here's hoping your Sunday was wonderful! Work is good we're looking for a northern to hit. In Texas 4 inches of snow shuts us down! The cold weather however is a welcomed reprieve. Blessings .....Carolyn <em>430</em> Mon, 25 Nov 2013 02:39:48 EST Thank God for God! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5548152 I kept thinking to myself " Either I trust Him to take care of me or I don't." My night @ wk went so well, thanx you guys for your blogging support, and I got home dry and in one piece. Can you believe my apt was completely dry? The rain waters were mid calf when I waded out to my ride last night . The waters have receded and my home is dry. There is nothing that God can't do ! The neg thoughts kept popping into my head, but I thought about all the things that I have been blessed with lately.... Sat, 23 Nov 2013 02:23:07 EST I'm afraid my apts sinking! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5547346 I'm afraid my apartment's sinking!When I left for work it was storming , water mid calf. In another life I would have said " Why me". I finally get my place & this. Not to mention the last place I rented also flooded when it rain hard. I think this time I'll pick up my phone & ask to be moved to higher ground! . This Sucks!! Well when I get off work I'll put on my waders & check for water damage! Grrr! I haven't even had time to get renters insurance. Note**Gnashing of teeth ,if properly done... Fri, 22 Nov 2013 00:33:32 EST Loving Life http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5544885 Loving life & Loving Y'all. Today is my friday so I'll be planning my Thanxgvn menu. I want to see if I can wrangle or incorporate Sparkpeople menus into the menu. Later <BR> <BR> <em>430</em> <em>430</em> <em>524</em> <em>429</em> <em>429</em> Tue, 19 Nov 2013 04:25:13 EST Magical Monday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5543937 Hi all ,another Manic Monday. I have been able to get out and about and walk. I'm going to push myself tomorrow hopefully starting a new good habit. As long as there is life there is Hope. Here's wishing you long life and Hope. Blessings <BR> <em>386</em> <em>386</em> <em>381</em> <em>247</em> <em>212</em> <em>212</em> Mon, 18 Nov 2013 03:00:54 EST Over the River and through the Woods... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5543168 We all know the song right? I remember singing this song as a kid in school plays every year. It still gets me in a festive mood . The difference... I'm the grandma now. I'm so looking forward to the holidays in my new apartment. What are you looking forward to? ** Doesn't have to be holiday stuff. Blessings. You all are blessings to me. <em>247</em> <em>212</em> <em>212</em> <em>247</em> <em>212</em> <em>212</em> <em>381</em> Sun, 17 Nov 2013 03:47:51 EST Hissy fits http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5543099 Hello and hissy fits!! I had a meltdown . A job I had created for myself doing what I love was ended. I felt It was taken from me. I got steamed took a brief trip down , " I'll get even with'em " lane , with a sharp turn to the ever condescending "i'll take the high road," ( may they burn) .Finally I was struck sane & realized it was a blast while I had the job to do , no matter how brief. Well onward to update my resume. Cool ,something else to add to my arsenal. Yikes, I meant my skills..... Sun, 17 Nov 2013 00:14:33 EST