PLYNSN316's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=PLYNSN316 PLYNSN316's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ My caboose is in reverse. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5384922 I finally found something that works for me. And my long…VERRRRRY long…weight loss journey has finally proved successful. <BR> <BR> I started a plan in February, 2013 (2/25/13). Since then I have lost 30 pounds. Co-workers, family, and friends are all noticing. I am receiving compliments about my appearance and for the first time in a really long time, I feel attractive. <BR> <BR> I went from a size 14/16 to a 10. I have a pair of pants that say they're an "8", but I am 100% sure t... Mon, 10 Jun 2013 19:04:02 EST My story. My realization. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5313658 As with many people, I have struggled with my weight all of my adult life. I have never been thin, fit, or been in a single digit size as an adult. <BR> <BR> I have never been hit on in a bar or club. I am usually approached by men to ask about one of my hot friends. I am the "ugly" friend that guys make jokes about with regard to having to "take one for the team" in order for one of their friends to get in good with one of my hot friends. <BR> <BR> I've been told I have a "pretty face... Sat, 6 Apr 2013 12:51:19 EST Frustration and Realization http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5095623 So, I had my 3rd week with the EXACT same weigh-in (2nd week with no loss). I'm getting frustrated and feeling hopeless about this journey. <BR> <BR> I am a numbers, data, statistics person. I work in accounting and love formulas, algebra, long division, and excel. So, I decided to put the numbers to work to figure out WHAT was going on. <BR> <BR> So, I took the data from Sparkpeople (calories consumed & calories burned), and I put everything into an excel table. I weigh in on Wednesday... Thu, 11 Oct 2012 18:40:25 EST new perspective. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5092137 I am in a negative space right now. I know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and I just have to ride the waves until I reach the end of this darkness. I also need to put things into perspective. <BR> <BR> I am feeling hopeless about this weight loss journey. <BR> <BR> I have been at the same weight (essentially) since June. Let me back track a little. <BR> <BR> I started this journey (seriously) in May, 2011 when I joined a "biggest loser" competition at work. I started... Tue, 9 Oct 2012 01:15:35 EST family sucks. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5084239 My boyfriend of almost 3 years and I are discussing getting married. We have both been married before, and this is going to be the 2nd marriage for both of us. <BR> <BR> We have set a date of February 2nd, 2013 and are talking about throwing a surprise wedding. We have a "game night" every 3-4 months and invite our friends and some of our family. We're thinking we're going to throw a game night, invite everyone, and then surprise them with a wedding and game night as the reception! Obv... Tue, 2 Oct 2012 19:31:49 EST BLC20 - BEFORE PHOTOS http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5064219 Ok - this is incredibly terrifying...but we all have to start somewhere, right.... <BR> <BR> Here are my before photos: <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/7/l179425143.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/4/l749033894.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/3/l932160862.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/3/l131413666.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/... Tue, 18 Sep 2012 00:21:20 EST Goals and Results - Week 1 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5063954 Week 1: 09.12.12-09.18.12 <BR> <BR> I am on a 12 week journey to jump start my weight loss and lose 12 pesky pounds. This journey is also to help me: <BR> 1) improve my running pace; <BR> 2) feel better about myself; <BR> 3) find inner peace when in turbulent waters; and <BR> 4) make my heart and soul healthy (among other things....) <BR> <BR> So, goals for the week: <BR> <BR> 1) Stick to nutrition plan 90% of the time; <BR> 2) Drink 2L water/day; <BR> 3) Run at least 3 days/week, and wal... Mon, 17 Sep 2012 21:26:01 EST stupid facebook stupid photo tagging stupid brother http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5063822 I was at a BBQ on Saturday. Photos were taken. The photos of me are not very flattering. <BR> <BR> I look like a whale. I realize this is because I am fat. And I have a lot of weight to lose. <BR> <BR> But, I resisted removing the tag that the host had of me in the photo. I figured - yes, I'm not attractive in this photo, and I look like a whale, but it is what it is - and no one cares. <BR> <BR> And then my older brother posted: "Why are all my sisters chunky?" on the photo com... Mon, 17 Sep 2012 20:02:23 EST 12 Week Goals... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5059297 12-week plan <BR> <BR> In order to make any changes, health-wise, I need to focus on two main areas: <BR> 1) Nutrition and 2) Fitness <BR> <BR> So, my nutrition goals are as follows: <BR> <BR> 1 – Stick to my SP assigned calorie range, with a preference for the 1200-1300 range, 90% of the time; <BR> 2 – Consume at least 2 L of water a day; and <BR> 3 – Eat at least 2 fruits and 3 veggies/day <BR> <BR> My fitness goals are as follows: <BR> <BR> 1 – Run at least 3 times a week; <BR> 2 – W... Fri, 14 Sep 2012 15:27:13 EST August Goals - Week 3 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5019442 Ok. This is just getting ridiculous. Once again, my weight is EXACTLY what it was last week. AND the week before. <BR> <BR> I have worked out FIVE DAYS this week. I have stuck to my calorie range (except for my slip ups Sat/Sun). I have consumed my 2L of water EVERY DAY. <BR> <BR> Not a budge. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Did not move one ounce downward. <BR> <BR> I am thankful it did not move up. But, come on!!!!! THROW ME A POUND or TWO!!! DOWN!!!! What does a girl have to do?! <B... Fri, 17 Aug 2012 12:29:42 EST Progress, not perfection. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5014506 I am trying to maintain a positive attitude. I am trying to focus on the positive, and not give too much weight to the negative. I really am. <BR> <BR> I was feeling pretty darn good about myself. I have consistently worked out 5 days in a row for the last two weeks. And I worked out this afternoon, starting my 3rd week of awesomeness. <BR> <BR> I have been pretty darn awesome about sticking to my calorie range most days of the week the last couple of weeks. I stuck to my calorie range... Tue, 14 Aug 2012 00:43:04 EST August Results - Week 2 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5009708 Review of the weekly goals: <BR> <BR> 1) Stick to calorie range 90% of the time; <BR> 2) Exercise 5 days a week; <BR> 3) Find something to be positive about EVERY DAY!; and <BR> 4) Drink at least 2 L of water/day <BR> <BR> Here's how I did: <BR> <BR> 1) I stuck to calorie range 71% of the time. Much better than last week's 33%. I know what my weak areas are: the weekends. I had gotten into such a groove of eating well and within range on the weekends that I sort of stopped planning ... Fri, 10 Aug 2012 12:28:57 EST August Results - Week 1 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4999926 Today is my weigh in day, and therefore the end of my first week with my August goals. <BR> <BR> 1) Stick to calorie range 90% of the time; <BR> 2) Exercise 5 days a week; <BR> 3) Find something to be positive about EVERY DAY!; and <BR> 4) Drink at least 2 L of water/day <BR> <BR> Here's how I did the first week: <BR> <BR> 1) I stuck to my calorie range 33% of the time. The other days that I was over - it was only by 5-100 calories - not drastic binge type days. Although I didn't hit ... Fri, 3 Aug 2012 18:50:41 EST I am damn sexy. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4998518 I am damn sexy. I truly am. My body is fabulous. Every inch of me radiates awesomeness. <BR> <BR> My arms help me to carry things. <BR> <BR> My strong legs carry me where I want to go, and if I want to run, they carry me faster and faster. <BR> <BR> My belly is soft, and squishy, and beautiful. <BR> <BR> My bottom is round and full - like the moon. :) <BR> <BR> My neck is strong enough to hold my amazing head on my shoulders. Although it gets tired and stressed, it stays strong ... Thu, 2 Aug 2012 19:48:51 EST Today, I promise I will not quit. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4998397 "Today, I promise I will not quit. <BR> <BR> I pledge that no matter, how many ups and downs I pass through, I will continue on my journey. <BR> <BR> I pledge to make a NEW START today, and forgive myself for my past, and to stop being so critical of myself. <BR> <BR> I pledge to take control of myself, to stop making excuses, and stop blaming other people or situations. <BR> <BR> I pledge to treat myself as I would my best friend, because that is who I am. <BR> <BR> I pledge to sta... Thu, 2 Aug 2012 17:51:23 EST Another chance to get this right. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4992522 Happy Sunday evening! It's almost midnight an I'm not quite ready for bed. <BR> <BR> I have been thinking about my goals for the week and what I was able to accomplish, and what I should work on improving. I figured I should put my goals in writing so that I can hold myself accountable for them. <BR> <BR> First, I changed my ultimate goal weight in this journey. It was set on my tracker for 125. I decided that I am going to strive for 140. I remember feeling attractive, in my clothes... Mon, 30 Jul 2012 02:57:44 EST Gains and Losses http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4989248 I gained 2 pounds this week. <BR> <BR> My weight is now back to what it was prior to starting both the cleanses in July. I knew this would happen because on the cleanses I was not eating "normally" (I put "normally" in quotations because my diet was not normal for me. It may be perfectly normal for others, but it was abnormal for my nutritional plan). <BR> <BR> A diet made up of fruits and vegetables, and medical drink will of course result in weight loss! But, it's not real. And that... Fri, 27 Jul 2012 12:16:26 EST stumble. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4987045 All was well today until after my acupuncture appointment...don't know if it was the frustration over traffic, my hunger, my change in schedule which delayed my work out time, and then led to my decision to skip my work out, or what? But, I decided to go off plan. <BR> <BR> So, I stumbled today: no work out and over calories. <BR> <BR> But you know what - it's life! I'm not always going to be perfect. I'm not always going to stick to my plan. I'm going to stumble. And I'm going to de... Wed, 25 Jul 2012 22:24:20 EST The journey, not the destination. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4983731 I feel so blessed and so happy that I am learning and growing throughout this entire experience. <BR> <BR> Being overweight, I am eager to become skinny and beautiful - quickly. I want to reach my goals NOW. I discovered that I have been putting my life on hold, somewhat until I reach my goals. Obviously, I'm going through the motions of life - going to work, getting through the day, etc. But, my mindset was so focused on "when I reach my goals..." I discovered that I was not living. ... Mon, 23 Jul 2012 18:58:14 EST Day 5 (of 28) - Out the window! FREEDOM AND JOY! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4979313 I feel free. I feel light. I feel ecstatic. <BR> <BR> I am taking today and tomorrow of the cleanse. And I am overjoyed with my decision. <BR> <BR> It was all sparked by a sparkfriend's blog (http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_<BR>journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4976702) <BR> yesterday about loving our bodies. She talked about loving our bodies, our curves, no matter what size, and being happy with all our bodies do for us. And it really made me think. I loathe my body. I hate ... Fri, 20 Jul 2012 13:32:17 EST Day 4 (of 28) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4977742 Just 25 more days to go.... <BR> <BR> I spoke with my acupuncturist last night about missing coffee. She suggested I try rooibos tea with almond milk and a little stevia to make it feel like a morning latte treat. <BR> <BR> I got some tea last night, and I tried it this morning. Sadly, I left my stevia at home, so I cheated and used a little agave syrup (1 tsp). It was comforting (oddly) to discover that the almond milk separates in EVERYTHING I put it in. Because it' s doing the creepy... Thu, 19 Jul 2012 12:16:49 EST Day 3 (of 28) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4976415 Once again, it took all I had not to drive to Starbucks on my way to work this morning. <BR> <BR> Although I was somewhat awake at 6, 6:30, and 7am, I was entirely unmotivated to get out of bed and get ready for work. I just really did not want to go to work. At all. <BR> <BR> So, I stayed in bed until 8am. I should be at work at 8am. Instead, I've gotten to work after 9am every day this week. Just have no motivation, nor do I seem to care. Part of it is that I'm not particularly bu... Wed, 18 Jul 2012 15:48:10 EST Day 2 (of 28) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4974818 I had to fight every urge I had to go to Starbucks this morning and get a latte. I REALLY want coffee. <BR> <BR> I went to bed relatively early last night (for my normal schedule), and I woke up EXHAUSTED. I reset the alarm and didn't end up getting out of bed until about an hour and a half after I had originally planned. Which meant I had to drive to work - which meant I had already blown my budget for the week (have to pay for parking). <BR> <BR> I am faltering in this plan. I logical... Tue, 17 Jul 2012 15:50:20 EST Day 1 (of 28) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4973166 So, I gave myself free range Fri, Sat, and Sun to eat and drink whatever I wanted. <BR> <BR> Today, Monday, is the start of the next 28 days. <BR> <BR> Friday, although I only had 3 hours of sleep - I was energized, in love with life, and ready to conquer the world! I wasn't sure if it was due to the cleanse I had just completed, or because I was allowing myself freedom to eat and drink what I wanted - which meant I could have COFFEE!!!!! As much glorious and wonderful coffee as I wanted!... Mon, 16 Jul 2012 16:47:37 EST 28 Days. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4967547 So, I met with my naturopath today after finishing the cleanse (technically, today is the last day). We were scheduled to go over my ASI (adrenal stress test), blood work, and nares culture results, as well as my feedback for the cleanse. <BR> <BR> I originally went to my doc because of fatigue issues. I am constantly tired. ALL. THE. TIME. I can get up in the morning, lay down for a nap at any point during the day, and can easily go back to bed any time during the day for at least 3 h... Thu, 12 Jul 2012 17:07:57 EST 10 day cleanse. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4954534 So, I met with my naturopath this morning. He gave me the 10 day (actually it's only 9 days, but whatever) "fat burning" cleanse. Days 1-4 aren't so bad. Days 5-7 suck the proverbial monkey butt. Day 8 kind of stinks, but is doable. And day 9 is not so bad. Day 10 is supposed to be the "congrats you did it!" day - but I'm planning on repeating Day 1 on Day 10. Just to clean it all up and end it on a happy note. <BR> <BR> Day 1 = tomorrow. <BR> <BR> I'm trying to tell myself that alth... Wed, 4 Jul 2012 02:28:18 EST Start. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4951123 I have to start somewhere, right? <BR> <BR> If I continue to do what I've been doing, I'm going to continue getting the same results. I'll be exactly where I am right now. Which is not acceptable at this point. I need to change. And it needs to start somewhere. <BR> <BR> A friend of mine once said "you lose weight in the kitchen, and get fit in the gym". Exercise and Food. Those are the two keys to weight loss. Those are the two keys I need to learn to master. And I have to start so... Sun, 1 Jul 2012 23:20:51 EST Hello, my name is Jenn... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4947863 …and I am an emotional eater. <BR> <BR> What exactly does that mean? It seems to be such a “catchy” weight loss category. But what exactly does it mean? <BR> <BR> It means I have an unhealthy relationship with food. It means that I have an addiction to food. It means that eating makes me feel better. Eating soothes my soul. Eating makes me happy. <BR> <BR> But, it’s more than that too. It’s not about eating anything – for example, eating a bowl of carrots does not soothe my soul ... Fri, 29 Jun 2012 14:50:24 EST I LOVE MY SPARKPEOPLE! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4944880 I had a very embarrassing, and very difficult night last night, which I shared on my blog. <BR> <BR> And I was so surprised to read all the AMAZING, SUPPORTIVE, LOVING, THOUGHTFUL, ENCOURAGING responses! I cannot even BEGIN to tell you how much everyone's responses meant to me! <BR> <BR> I've never felt support like this before and it has brought me to tears. I feel so loved and supported right now - I feel like I can accomplish anything! <BR> <BR> I am going to do some research and ... Wed, 27 Jun 2012 14:53:53 EST Shame Spiral. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4944023 I am spinning out of control in a shame spiral right now. <BR> <BR> I am about to admit a few things that may be upsetting or disturbing to some people - but I feel I need to get this off my chest. I'm hoping by purging my feelings it will help to relieve some of my shame. You have been warned. <BR> <BR> I made a commitment to myself this weekend that I would get back on track. I was going to stick to my eating plan, I was going to exercise, and I was going to be good. Healthy. Happy. ... Wed, 27 Jun 2012 00:27:29 EST Change of Attitude. And popcorn. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4925190 I've updated my17 Day Diet Experiment blog: <BR> <BR> <link>17dayexperiment.blogspot.com/2012/06<BR>/phase-ii-change-of-attitude.html </link> <BR> <BR> I'd love to hear feedback re self sabotage and your thoughts/experiences! <BR> <BR> Happy Wednesday! Wed, 13 Jun 2012 17:33:25 EST Cheater cheater binge food eater http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4919457 I admit it. <BR> <BR> I can get rid of the evidence, I can hide the "bodies", but I need to come clean. <BR> <BR> I went over the edge yesterday, last night, and continued into today. I had a semi-food binge. <BR> <BR> It started with a harmless scone. I really, desperately, wanted the scone. So, I told myself if I finished my 1.5 liters of water, and I still wanted the scone, I could have it. So, I finished the water. Then I told myself if I finished the cup of green tea, I could hav... Sat, 9 Jun 2012 22:02:19 EST Acceptance and Anxiety. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4917143 I continue to have wavering moments of acceptance and enlightenment, and pure panic and anxiety. <BR> <BR> The last few days were pretty good - general acceptance and enlightenment - my mantra was "it is what it is". I felt that I had a handle on things - the only thing in my control was myself. If I am unhappy, I need to take the steps to change that. If I'm upset, I need to take the steps to remedy what was causing me to feel upset. Life is what you make it - if you give it all you'v... Fri, 8 Jun 2012 01:14:45 EST 17 Day Diet - Phase I COMPLETE! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4911593 YAY! I completed Phase I. It was challenging. Very challenging. <BR> <BR> Final results: <BR> 9.2 pounds lost (in 17 days of the plan) <BR> 4" lost off waist <BR> 2" lost off hips <BR> 2" lost of chest <BR> .5" lost off arms <BR> 1" lost off thighs' <BR> <BR> If you want to see "before" and "after" photos - check out my blog: http://17dayexperiment.blogspot.com/ <BR> <BR> Today, I am having a "cheat day". I'm sure I'm going to catch a lot of flack for it - but I think my "cheat days" ... Mon, 4 Jun 2012 13:15:11 EST Growth. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4903695 This journey is about growth. I am aware of this, logically. And on a fairly regular basis I feel that I am standing on the precipice of astronomical growth, only to stumble and fall backward - further away from the cliff that separates me from my current state and my meteoric rise. <BR> <BR> What am I to learn in these moments of stumbling? What message has not been clear to me before? <BR> <BR> Life is not black and white, but is made up of all the shades of the rainbow. My mind nat... Wed, 30 May 2012 02:09:53 EST Phase I - extended! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4902052 I fell of the wagon for 2 days. So, I'm adding an extra 4 days to Phase I to try to make up for it. <BR> <BR> I'm experiencing a myriad of feelings right now - sadness, anger, happiness, excitement, joy, disappointment. <BR> <BR> Read about it: http://17dayexperiment.blogspot.com/ <BR> <BR> I am surprisingly excited about the addition of the 4 days to Phase I. I like the way my body feels when I'm eating right. Right now (after my 2 days of debauchery), I feel sick. I want to feel clea... Tue, 29 May 2012 00:39:15 EST 17 Day Diet - One week completed! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4890316 Want to see how my week has gone? Check it out: <BR> <BR> http://17dayexperiment.blogspot.com/ <BR> <BR> Sun, 20 May 2012 21:35:08 EST 17 Day Diet Experiment - Phase 1; Day 3 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4884972 Goodness it feels like it's been a month or so...and it's only Day 3. :( <BR> <BR> Wanna see how I'm doing? <BR> <BR> Check out the blog: <BR> <link>17dayexperiment.blogspot.com </link> <BR> <BR> Questions? Recipe ideas? Contact me - I'll be happy to help! Wed, 16 May 2012 23:05:51 EST 17 Day Diet Experiment - Phase 1; Day 1 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4881895 Check out my blog to see how I'm doing: <BR> <BR> http://17dayexperiment.blogspot.com/ <BR> <BR> Tue, 15 May 2012 01:12:19 EST 17 Day Diet Experiment http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4876328 I have started a blog to track my journey on the 17 day diet.. <BR> <link>17dayexperiment.blogspot.com/ </link> <BR> <BR> Thu, 10 May 2012 23:20:49 EST the scale is not my friend. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4706972 I got on the scale today and it says I'm up 1.2 pounds from last week. Yes, there were a couple of not so healthy days in there, but I looked at my week as a whole, and I was definitely below my BMR calorie range. <BR> <BR> I know, I know, I know - my success shouldn't be measured by the scale. My pants fit great! But, I'm not exercising on a regular basis, so I can't say it's the building of muscle mass and the loss of fat. <BR> <BR> 1.2 lbs = 4,200 EXTRA calories - above and beyond... Fri, 27 Jan 2012 11:42:15 EST Menu Planning - woo hoo! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4705882 So, I love menu planning. I like thinking about upcoming meals, putting together recipes (or finding recipes and tweaking them), and creating shopping lists! <BR> <BR> I love grocery shopping! To most, it's a tedious task that involves lists, coupon cutting, spending more than you planned, standing in line, frustration over not being able to find an ingredient, and not to mention the loading and unloading of groceries!!! To me, it's a time of reinvention. A way to create a new persona. ... Thu, 26 Jan 2012 20:01:21 EST Get out of my head! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4546712 I cannot seem to get my butt in gear. I can’t seem to find the internal motivation to push myself and to get moving – literally and figuratively. <BR> <BR> So, my plan was to get back on the horse last week – staying within my calorie ranges and exercising. This week, I was supposed to start my running plan. <BR> <BR> I have not started exercising. I have not started my running plan. And I stuck to my calorie ranges maybe 4 out of the last 12 days (2 of them I was not trying to stick to... Fri, 21 Oct 2011 15:12:28 EST One goal accomplished - time to move towards the next... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4527719 I completed the Portland Half Marathon today! And I shaved 15 minutes off my previous half-marathon time! Goal = accomplished! <BR> <BR> For the last 2 months I have slacked off on my eating plan. I used the Portland Half Marathon training as an excuse to go over and above my calorie allotments, telling myself I would burn it off - or I deserved it because I was working hard. <BR> <BR> The result - a slow weight increase that has resulted in my size 14 pants going from a loose "hey, mayb... Mon, 10 Oct 2011 00:13:13 EST SUCCESS!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4500000 Every weekend I tell myself that this is the week that I will actually stick to my "work out" plan. And every week, for the last 2 months I have faltered. It has left me feeling down and upset with myself. <BR> <BR> This weekend, I told myself the same thing. It didn't start off the way I planned - I had a 10 mile run on Saturday that I pushed to Sunday. But I got out there Sunday morning and I ran those miles! And I felt great (not physically - physically I felt horrible, but emotional... Fri, 23 Sep 2011 11:07:34 EST lonely. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4487473 I don't have any friends. Not really. <BR> <BR> I've never had many friends growing up. I've always had one or two really good friends, best friends. But, over time, the relationships end. <BR> <BR> My childhood best friend was my best friend until I moved away at the age of 14. So, I made new friends; developed a close relationship to a girl in high school. About a year into that relationship, I realized we were too different and broke the friendship off. <BR> <BR> I moved on to a ... Thu, 15 Sep 2011 23:50:03 EST Can't catch the wagon... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4430609 I like the way my clothes fit now that I've lost some weight. I like the way my body feels and I feel more desirable to my partner. I feel sexy, I feel more confident. I feel good. Weight loss has been good to me. <BR> <BR> But, I've hit a wall. <BR> <BR> For 12 weeks I was participating in a Biggest Loser competition at work. Every Monday morning, the participants would weigh in and our success, or lack thereof would be emailed to the other participants in a "Weekly Weigh In¨ email. ... Tue, 16 Aug 2011 13:42:59 EST jealousy. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4401327 I know I'm supposed to be happy for others who are successful and are making progress in their weight loss journey, and I am. I know how much work and effort goes into this struggle. <BR> <BR> But, I'm going to be honest. <BR> <BR> I'm also really jealous. <BR> <BR> I keep reading about all these people who have lost all this weight - quickly...and I feel pathetic. I read, moments ago, about someone who lost 33 pounds in 12 weeks. I read another spark page earlier today about a wonderfu... Tue, 2 Aug 2011 00:30:31 EST Juice Fast - Day 1 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4399809 Today is the first day of my 7 day juice fast. <BR> <BR> I've got my recipes, and I'm excited to get started on this journey. I'm hoping that I'll be able to push myself and test the strength of my willpower. I am also looking forward to feeling clean and like I am starting with a blank slate. This is very much needed. The last couple of weeks have been pretty tough. I've had a lot of emotional turmoil and stress. It has truly tested my willpower to be able to stand in the face of al... Mon, 1 Aug 2011 12:37:33 EST Planning, Failing, and Acceptance http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4345682 I got back from a 4th of July camping trip today. Prior to the trip I was very nervous. What if I went off my plan? What if I over ate? What if I couldn't refrain from snacking, which is basically what we do all day while camping? <BR> <BR> See, when I talk to people about camping, they all insist that I'll be working so hard and exercising so much that I shouldn't worry about my food consumption. The problem is that I am not doing the type of camping that most people think of when they... Wed, 6 Jul 2011 20:13:31 EST