PKTRUCKDRIVER's SparkPeople Blog PKTRUCKDRIVER's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Seems I have lost the struggle, please keep praying, just in case Yes I have lost the will and discipline to stop eating and change my life. <BR> I am unable to control myself and eat too much of what I am not suppose to eat, not gouging, but eating unhealthy , yet tasteful foods. <BR> <BR> Seems I am giving up and in my mind I am truly ashamed and sad that I know my days are now limited because I can not overcome this. Being alone and lonely are not good motivators, apparently. <BR> <BR> I wish to thank all of you here for trying to help me overcome thi... Tue, 25 Feb 2014 00:09:49 EST You ever have "one of those days", well .... <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Things come to a screeching halt, and you forget who you are and all the hard work you have done so far...and then wham, you are back at it again <BR> <BR> I mean Biscuits and Gravy, Waffle House, all amercian, twice in 1 week, as well as a big Easter Buffet, and then Taco Bell, how does one allow this to happen? <BR> <BR> I am really mad at me , but everything but the buffet was awesome, even the buffet was , but... Tue, 2 Apr 2013 10:22:38 EST What others may see, Not!! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> You may feel this way sometimes, but... all it does for me is motivate me, how bout you? Fri, 15 Mar 2013 10:31:16 EST Portion Control, does it work? Here is a guide to the easy way of finding the right portions. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <BR> Below is some idea's, thou this is just a few idea's to help yoo, to not eat as you cook. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Let me try this picture <img src=""> Wed, 13 Mar 2013 13:43:25 EST Well are you ... ? <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Honestly I find hard to think so, but maybe I am, just a lttle bit anyway. <BR> <BR> Down almost 100lbs, and about 150-175lbs to go, then , watch out world , my SEXY WILL BE BACK. <BR> <BR> KINDA LIKE THE THIS GUY BELOW <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> AT LEAST I CAN HOPE RIGHT, LOL Tue, 12 Mar 2013 11:28:58 EST HAVE YOU EVER FALLEN ... AND FORGOT TO GET BACK UP ? <img src=""> <BR> <BR> WHICH WAY DO YOU GO, STAY DOWN, OR GET UP AND KEEP GOING, THE HORSE HAS NO CHOICE, IT ONLY HAS TO CHOOSE FORWARD OR BACKWARDS , EITHER WAY WILL BE GO FOR IT, AGREED. <BR> <BR> MORAL OF THE STORY, NO0T REALLY SURE....JUST KIDDING. <BR> <BR> WHERE WAS I, OH YEAH, ALWAYS GET BACK UP AND KEEP GOING , EVEN WHEN YOU FALL DOWN AND MAYBE SAT THERE AWHILE, YOU CAN ALWAYS GET BACK UP AND CONTINUE THE JOURNEY, ALWAYS !! Mon, 11 Mar 2013 13:46:51 EST Karma, do you believe in it <img src=""> Sun, 10 Mar 2013 11:53:38 EST 3 different things, keeps the mind guessing Okay this is the message of the day <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Yet today needs 2 real message's, so here is the other <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Then we see this and wonder why, but America allows for the unexpected <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Sat, 9 Mar 2013 09:29:24 EST Is your enemy within, then let it out <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I think we all have something inside us that we need to let out, old habits, for instance. <BR> <BR> Old habits, like old foods, need to be changed to help us succeed in the journey we all have embarked on. <BR> <BR> Best of luck <BR> <BR> Patrick <BR> <BR> Tue, 5 Mar 2013 19:10:12 EST Which way do you see things ? Are you able to just relax and see them this way... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <BR> Or do you make yourself feel this way, and <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <BR> Wait I think they are pretty much the same thing , making you see there is a better way to see the world than you are seeing it now, there is hope and success ahead , if you want it bad enough, but... you mu... Mon, 4 Mar 2013 16:54:44 EST Sunday, and no Football, but... someone said <img src=""> <BR> <BR> My needed surgery is nothing to lose sleep over, just deal with it and move on,I am told, guess maybe there is some truth in this. Harsh, yes, but true too. <BR> <BR> Happy Sunday all <BR> <BR> <BR> patrick Sun, 3 Mar 2013 14:20:40 EST Stress, but then you can relieve it to... This is how I felt lately , but maybe a little worse, then slowly I am coming around <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Here is the reason for being able to turn it around <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Hope this helps you , even if just a little bit Sat, 2 Mar 2013 11:04:06 EST Have you ever fallen down ? <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I do this so often I get dizzy getting up and turning around, but I still somehow manage to go forward , even if just a 1/2 step , slow and steady, so far. <BR> <BR> But I want fast and massive, for the weight loss, like Biggest Loser's, which we all know is not for us, they all have a expert team with them at all times , we do not, I do not even have a Doctor, just winging it, but doing okay so far. <BR> <BR> ... Fri, 1 Mar 2013 10:53:32 EST I have been called this or that...but I been called this ... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> And I been called a hippo too, but this one has the right attitude , but I am cool with that, <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> And you know why, because here on this site are the best people in the whole world. <BR> <BR> These people here are all successes , they all found this site, and being alone , as I am is and has ... Thu, 28 Feb 2013 14:44:19 EST You ever been scared ? <img src="">Well I am scared currently, as my body does weird things and needs to be fixed with some surgical procedure or so, but I am trying to survive till I can afford it, or get approval to have it, both options may take up to 6 months or so, yet I AM SCARED. <BR> <BR> Question is will I pop inside or not? I hope not and ask that all you do for me is pray that I do not pop inside until I am able to get this procedure done. <BR> <... Tue, 26 Feb 2013 14:07:44 EST Goals, here are a few, but... I wrote a few goals down, but belive it or not, after months of trying not a single goal has been made, and #1 was tthe main reason I startedd this journey, and I am now where near making it, frustrating, yes it is. Making smaller goals, I think not, these are just normal regular goals that people my size make, so no re-writes for these goals. <BR> <BR> What do you think? <BR> <BR> <BR> 1. Personal and priviate, but my most important goal <BR> <BR> 2. Putting my socks and shoes on, witho... Sun, 24 Feb 2013 08:30:28 EST Overwhelmed, but was given great info I asked about the tracker /journal with hopes the journal could be just transferred to the tracker , but it can not, they are 2 seperate things, period. <BR> <BR> Doing both would be repeptitive I think, but I am more comfy witth the journal entries, because I can write what I ate and add a comment too. The tracker is still too much for me to understand yet, and yes I watched the video a few times but still, am a little overwhelmed by it. <BR> <BR> Eating right will be essential to me losi... Sat, 23 Feb 2013 09:20:59 EST A repetitive response seeking advice, please I want to follow up with this, here and in a sparkmail with another person, but just need help from anyone who can help me, better use it this site , thanks for any help!!! <BR> <BR> Here is a few days of my journal, how would I input this in the tracker? <BR> <BR> This is what I am eating, weight in oz's not done with portion'ss, just sight guessing <BR> <BR> Can we work with this , to learn how to use the tracker thingy? <BR> <BR> patrick <BR> <BR> 2/13 <BR> went to work as a lawn care... Wed, 20 Feb 2013 11:56:23 EST Well I am starting anew, that a word? <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I almost lost this much, but why do I feel like a failure still, how is this ? <BR> <BR> I should be jumping for joy . <img src=""> <BR> <BR> But , maybe because of platueing, or not yet attaining my #1 goal , most likely. <BR> <BR> Depression, instead of elation, not cool for me, but for some reason this is what I feel like , why is that? <BR> <... Tue, 19 Feb 2013 20:34:03 EST Monday blahhhhhhhhhh's Started with 2 biscuits and gravy, but no eggs this time, good or bad? <BR> <BR> It seems finding help here in the blog area is not impossible, just slow. <BR> <BR> They say I can lose weight without having to excersise , DUE TO MY CONDITION. <BR> <BR> GOTTA RUN, THOUGHT i HAD MORE TIME, BUT WILL POST LATER <BR> Mon, 18 Feb 2013 09:28:34 EST Ever screw up? I did and not sure but may be booted from here, oh well. Fri, 15 Feb 2013 12:44:24 EST OK, HELP HELP HELP, I SURE NEED IT <img src=""> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> OKAY I AM ASKING FOR HELP, THIS HOLIDAY, REALLY MAKES ME STRESSED, WHY ?? BECAUSE I AM ALONE, AND STRUGGLING. YES I GUESS I HAVE MADE SOME PROGRESS, READ MY FEW BLOGS, ONLY A FEW OF THEM, QUICK READS, BUT YOU CAN TELL I AM PASS THE STRESS POINT, A MELTDOWN IS COMING ANY MINUTE, WHAT DO I DO? <BR> <BR> Guess stop yelling maybe, lol, not sure what w... Thu, 14 Feb 2013 09:50:00 EST Here spider spider spider ... <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I feel this big at times, how bout you ? I believe they said it took a few bullets take this big guy out, Imagine waking up yo see this in your room, or camping and this walks up to say hi, gives me the willy's thinking about it. <BR> <BR> As for my weight and diet, still on pause, unsure what to do . <BR> <BR> Patrick Wed, 13 Feb 2013 16:10:37 EST TRX training too <img src=""> <BR> <BR> No one seems to like this blog anymore, oh well. <BR> <BR> Guess I will move on soon anyway, I am use to being alone anyway, especially at over 400lbs, which I can not blame any one. <BR> <BR> Pat Tue, 12 Feb 2013 12:21:47 EST Made it thru the weekend, but... <img src=""> <BR> <BR> This use to be my motto, but... <BR> <BR> Being stuck for almost a month is getting to me , I weighed today and was the same 415 lbs , so no real damage done, YET. I am so frustrated, been working out the whole time, 6 days a week 1-2 hrs a day, but nothing to aggravate my hernia, no sit -ups , crunches , etc... <BR> <BR> I tried outdoor walking , ended up laid up for 3 days because of Chaffing so bad, and on... Mon, 11 Feb 2013 13:53:20 EST What now, with all my problems, now I'm stuck, dag nabbitt <BR> Yep, lost quite a bit, down from around 500 to about 415 now, but stuck here for a few weeeks and it is getting me very depressed , and makes me want to quit and give up. <BR> <BR> banana pudding, biscuits and gravy w/eggs, cheeseburger w/fries all coming to the front of mind. <BR> <BR> Why the long lull, can't seem to get under 400lbs, to me a VERY BIG GOAL , And it still eldues me , why, what to do, ? <BR> <BR> Maybe go on a small weekend hiatus, eat all these goodies, but not g... Fri, 8 Feb 2013 13:04:55 EST Found this website about my hernia thingy<BR>ernia-surgery.htm?source=california-he<BR>rnia+surgery+exact-hsac&gclid=CI-u4_Xy<BR>n7UCFQY5nAodpnwAwQ <BR> <BR> This makes me really scared, what do I do, stop everything, <BR> <BR> I can't stop, I need to lose weight , the more the better I am told, complications normally come to the morbid obese who have this surgery, well that's me <BR> <BR> patrick Tue, 5 Feb 2013 16:11:10 EST Very Little help offered Yes my last post was answered by 1 awesome person, who stated her husband had the surgery, I need. <BR> <BR> I got a few website links to help me look up free, or possible free health car, but who gives free surgery in this day and age, unless emergency surgery in the ER. Hopefully this scenario never happens for me, only time and God will know this answer. <BR> <BR> Thanks <BR> <BR> PS: THE TITLE IS MISLEADING, I GOT LOTS OF GREAT INFORMATION, my problem will be comprehending it al. Tue, 5 Feb 2013 08:58:24 EST Belly Button Hernia about to burst, what to do....?? Yes I am still proceeding with my workouts and walking , treadmill and stationary bike. I am using weight machine, but trying to avoid any major stomach excersise's , but I am scared. <BR> <BR> I went to ER when the pain got bad and was told what needed to be done, surgery before it actually bursts, as it will not get better, and needs to be mesh patched he said, but wth no insurance or money, I get no surgery, unless it bursts and then emergenct surgery will be done, but not by him, by who... Mon, 4 Feb 2013 13:50:11 EST 1st blog Where do you start at 425lbs , 1 step at a time, right? <BR> <BR> Come on and follow me on this very long journey I must go thru. <BR> <BR> How long will it take , who knows yet? <BR> <BR> Have you done this already, share with me the secrets, please/ Sat, 2 Feb 2013 19:39:07 EST