PJH2028's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=PJH2028 PJH2028's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ So maybe I need ... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6037350 You guys. <BR> You guys here are awesome. And for you I am so grateful. <BR> Thank you <BR> and best wishes for a happy healthy holiday. <BR> <BR> I need to check in on Sparkydoodle. <BR> I may actually 'need' the connection and the spirit and the ritual. <BR> <BR> HOLIDAZE <BR> ain't no 'scuse <BR> <BR> Now... It's NOT that i overate today. <BR> It's that... When I'm not connected... When I don't track... I don't <BR> BELIEVE <BR> When I don't track... <BR> I feel like "I must be... Tue, 24 Nov 2015 19:25:24 EST I am NOT giving up! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6034250 Gosh... I can really be a drama queen roller coaster. <BR> These past couple of days have shown me that... again. haha <BR> But I take out my spark light magic wand coalminers hat spotlight <BR> and i say <BR> <BR> I AM NOT GIVING UP <BR> <BR> setbacks <BR> GDI they hurt the ego and the morale <BR> but <BR> setbacks happen <BR> and sometimes <BR> they happen like a trampoline <BR> <BR> I am not giving up! <BR> gdi <BR> <BR> Do not over restrict <BR> but do not indulge <BR> STAY ON TEH... Wed, 18 Nov 2015 13:15:46 EST Hunger Games http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6029312 Blank 133x176 <BR> Hunger: A Memoir of (M... <BR> by Roxane Gay <BR> Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body <BR> by Roxane Gay (Goodreads Author), Tbd (Reading) <BR> 4.04 of 5 stars 4.04 · rating details · 23 ratings · 1 review <BR> From the bestselling author of Bad Feminist: a searingly honest memoir of food, weight, self-image, and learning how to feed your hunger while taking care of yourself <BR> <BR> “I ate and ate and ate in the hopes that if I made myself big, my body would be safe. ... Mon, 9 Nov 2015 13:04:42 EST where seldom is heard... a discouraging word..... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6027460 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/e2b0ab40-2a90-4ed7-a0bb-f9e34be1e15a.jpg"> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/39627c45-c193-496c-b779-54907ca8f879.jpg"> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/2bdf086b-ed3e-4691-8c70-0e0302f32392.jpg"> <BR> <BR> so ... not til mid December.... <BR> still here in the victorian happy town sweet village house til then <BR> Then in Dec.... <BR> We'll move out to a different microclimate -- the valley... more rural... -- and... Thu, 5 Nov 2015 22:38:11 EST checking in - october 2015 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6011258 i love october <BR> best weather, light, smells, <BR> new notebooks <BR> pumpkins.... <BR> <BR> I haven't turned into one...yet. <BR> My intentions and efforts to step-it-up with more time on the elliptical is being successful. I'm getting more activity time. And a higher step count. <BR> I'm still not hitting 10k a day though. Room to improve! <BR> <BR> After being stuck at 167 for a very long time <BR> I'm down to 163.6 (call in 164) today <BR> Today I got a charm at my WW meeting t... Wed, 7 Oct 2015 21:41:30 EST A(In)spiring Up http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6001390 Sometimes a spark friend here really inspires me. <BR> I am so grateful for those moments. <BR> <BR> I've been reading a great book called "The War of Art" which is all about "Resistance" - in its so many forms and faces <BR> <BR> Pushing Through... <BR> Doing My Work.... <BR> whether it's creative expression or diet/exercise <BR> <BR> Friends, I've got patterns of resistance <BR> That I identify with <BR> too much <BR> <BR> When I get inspired by one of you <BR> or someone or something ... Mon, 21 Sep 2015 11:16:15 EST Resilience - see spot stay ;-) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5999052 This is the word. The one that keeps being the answer to What do I need? What do I need more of? Where is blank to be filled...etc. <BR> <BR> So... How glad am I to find a Spark article on the subject this morning? Terrifically. <BR> I will write more about my own relationship to Resilience .... in future. <BR> For now... Here is a cut-and-paste of what I found in the <em>252</em> <em>223</em> article this morning. Maybe you read it too? <BR> <BR> " There are a lot of personal ... Thu, 17 Sep 2015 09:18:29 EST NSVs WGs Goals Balance Wins http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5996628 Yes. I want to WIN. <BR> (That's an uncommon thing for me to say). <BR> What? What do I want to win? <BR> Well... I think that this weight body game story is number one... the longest narrative running and all headway pays off in SO many other areas of my life. <BR> I'd like to win the Scale Numbers <BR> I'd like to wind the Body Movement VITALITY formula replacing the calorie-burn <BR> <BR> OUIJI BOARD -- I'm in a current scale conundrum <BR> 173.6 to 165.8 in 7 weeks of WW <BR> But scal... Sun, 13 Sep 2015 13:20:23 EST All the true vows (David Whyte) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5991004 ALL THE TRUE VOWS <BR> <BR> All the true vows <BR> are secret vows <BR> the ones we speak out loud <BR> are the ones we break. <BR> <BR> There is only one life <BR> you can call your own <BR> and a thousand others <BR> you can call by any name you want. <BR> <BR> Hold to the truth you make <BR> every day with your own body, <BR> don’t turn your face away. <BR> <BR> Hold to your own truth <BR> at the center of the image <BR> you were born with. <BR> <BR> Those who do not understand... Fri, 4 Sep 2015 14:37:35 EST RUMI poem - "Together through the Years" http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5990993 TOGETHER THROUGH THE YEARS <BR> <BR> It is for that moment when I might steady you so you <BR> don't fall, I have added my blood to an inkwell. <BR> <BR> Indelible now will be my mark on history's canvas and <BR> upon any sincere debate of God where reason finally <BR> prevails. <BR> <BR> And when you have the strength, you too may find <BR> another to hold up. <BR> <BR> They lean against each other in a storm, those cypresses <BR> grown tall together . . . through the years. <BR> <BR> ... Fri, 4 Sep 2015 14:20:19 EST inlaws, family, authenticity and ..... tell me http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5988132 So.... What do I know about Family relations? <BR> I dunno.... Mine is pretty compartmentalized... my nuclear family experience -- super super small, no extended aunts or uncles or grands. <BR> As I now reach grand age myself.... and have inlaws with multi-generations... <BR> I am having to learn some dynamics that some of y'all have known all along. <BR> I get confused! <BR> Do you? <BR> I mean.... Go along to get along. Yes. Kindness. Yes. Let things go. Show up. <BR> Some gene... Mon, 31 Aug 2015 13:53:36 EST from mary oliver - blue horses - Bless... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5975853 Here’s a catalyzing fragment from the poem “The Fourth Sign of the Zodiac”: <BR> from Mary Oliver's book, Blue Horses: <BR> <BR> <BR> I know, you never intended to be in this world. <BR> But you’re in it all the same. <BR> <BR> So why not get started immediately. <BR> <BR> I mean, belonging to it. <BR> There is so much to admire, to weep over. <BR> <BR> And to write music or poems about. <BR> <BR> Bless the feet that take you to and fro. <BR> Bless the eyes and the listening ea... Tue, 11 Aug 2015 09:58:59 EST The road taken - Every day new day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5975627 So... Being on the road is really hard for my "diet" comfort, really hard for my Rhythm. <BR> Steady On, for me, requires a kind of PRACTICE, a kind of discipline and rhythm and momentum. There are habits that work for keeping my food choices on point for weight loss. There are habits of behaviors that keep me centered and keeping up with daily tasks while keeping my moods and anxieties kind of steady... <BR> <BR> I still turn to food when other soothing attempts fail. Food takes th... Mon, 10 Aug 2015 22:50:53 EST KickBoard - new moves http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5947717 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyV_kyKzSz<BR>U <BR> <BR> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iM3z1eDD<BR>cGE <BR> <BR> <BR> Oh…. THAT'S how to do it!! <BR> <BR> <BR> And how to pick WHICH kick board to use? <BR> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wPubyYW<BR>v54 <BR> <BR> Fri, 19 Jun 2015 11:10:45 EST Taking the show on the road http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5925034 Moving <BR> Place <BR> Moving <BR> story lines connections <BR> people places things <BR> <BR> Furniture, artwork, photos, boxes of history, papers, rugs, linens, dishes, cookware, lamps and boxes and bins and <BR> my good ness …. There is so much here … Chanel…. clothes city clothes…. <BR> This life of mine here…. I want to inhabit it. I never have. <BR> Winchester scrunched and scrunched … I hoarded my things and could not see them… did not have the space to use ... Fri, 8 May 2015 21:52:06 EST Gutterballs - reflections on closed jars … and Energetics of Next http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5918483 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/1/l2136556416.jpg"> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/9/l1920428170.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> NEW DAY <BR> readying for travel… <BR> REFLECTION MORNING TIME <BR> <BR> so tender and something-else <BR> how joe and i are when i am about to leave for a trip <BR> it's good for Us to have these separations <BR> remembrances of proximity <BR> we forget often <BR> with the friction and blender <BR> (to say the least… we've been ... Mon, 27 Apr 2015 11:09:13 EST journals…dreams….moments…. whoosh…. meaning-making http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5907108 Tues 4/7/15 - yeah… twentyFIFTEEN. Wow. <BR> I'm 56… turning 57 this year. <BR> Getting more body aware, more integrated -- soft tissue, structure, spirit, … <BR> And forty lbs I'd like to move off -- the better to inhabit <BR> the better <BR> to inhabit <BR> open up to <BR> me, who since infancy has held her thumb inside her hands…. grounding. <BR> me, whose posture so habitually compresses ribs to hips… concaving the center <BR> me, with the big big heart chakra <BR> me, wi... Tue, 7 Apr 2015 12:59:32 EST spotify uplift http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5902371 Spotify!!!! Better than Pandora by… well… lots. <BR> So… dear friends and team mates <em>252</em> <em>223</em> <BR> I'm Stil Here! <BR> Had a week of assiduous tracking and lost a couple of pounds. Then a week of 'winging it'… with a glass of wine here and cooking oil unmonitored there. Not getting on the scale til Tue/Wed for checkin. <BR> <BR> Weighing and Measuring? <BR> Food yes. Me…. rarely. 1x week or 1x every 2 weeks. <BR> <BR> Movement <BR> My various i... Mon, 30 Mar 2015 14:00:12 EST be kind to yourself http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5894320 being kind to myself <BR> is my priority. <BR> this means … <BR> making my own SPARK <em>469</em> a priority <BR> eating low calories (1100-1300 calories) <BR> drinking water….s <BR> closing the kitchen early…. <BR> ALLOWING THIS GOAL <BR> my goals <BR> TO MATTER <BR> to rise to the occasions <BR> to rise to the top <BR> to GIVE MYSELF A GIFT <em>88</em> <BR> <BR> <BR> E.D. History is a bitch, man. <BR> Seriously. <BR> And… <BR> Well…. it's not a death sentence. <BR> <BR> <em>4... Tue, 17 Mar 2015 00:32:19 EST hip hip - rehab means remember … and do http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5891149 hip hip <BR> hippy hippy <BR> shake <BR> side to side <BR> waddle and wallop <BR> my pants are tight <BR> i swear <BR> i swear in <BR> i swear off <BR> i swear <BR> up and down <BR> and up <BR> and <BR> f <BR> and <BR> s <BR> and <BR> me <BR> and <BR> my <BR> and <BR> HERE <BR> and <BR> NOW <BR> and <BR> <BR> 176-156 <BR> that's what its a gonna take <BR> to <BR> have my pant <em>9</em> <em>354</em> fit <BR> <BR> to have my pants fit comfy <BR> sacrifices may be made <BR> deals may... Wed, 11 Mar 2015 13:48:05 EST followup from last blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5889539 Hi again. <BR> so… I'm doing well… <BR> today <BR> <BR> At 4pm I realized (ha!) that I hadn't gotten to workout yet. Had postponed, had put off, had said to myself that i didn't want to 'force' it. <BR> So at 4pm I had a natural opening… and THAT's when I went to InShape and put in 30 minutes on the elliptical With TV - George Stephanopoulus to boot. <BR> <BR> I'm happy I got the movement in. <BR> <em>248</em> <BR> <BR> And I'm on point with food today. good calories. good quali... Sun, 8 Mar 2015 23:01:12 EST Tight Jeans - and a good day so far, let's keep it that way http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5888842 So… Hooray… Boooya…. It's 3:34pm and I've had a "good day" so far. <BR> Bkfst Lunch and Snacks On Track <BR> Calories low and Nutrition high <BR> 2 33oz bottles of water consumed <BR> Yay APPLES <BR> Not fighting with Joe -- and both of us working at it <BR> SUNNY DAY <BR> Worked out <BR> Put on jeans I forgot about <BR> and they are <BR> TIGHT <BR> TIGHT JEANS feel …. um….. harsh. <BR> Putting them on at the gym I felt the flush of regret and almost-shame (but nipped it in the bud). "... Sat, 7 Mar 2015 18:32:39 EST Poem- "Start Close In" http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5884903 START CLOSE IN - poem by david whyte <BR> <BR> Start close in, <BR> don’t take <BR> the second step <BR> or the third, <BR> start with the first <BR> thing <BR> close in, <BR> the step <BR> you don’t want to take. <BR> Start with <BR> the ground <BR> you know, <BR> the pale ground <BR> beneath your feet, <BR> your own <BR> way to begin <BR> the conversation. <BR> Start with your own <BR> question, <BR> give up on other <BR> people’s questions, <BR> don’t let them <BR> smother something <BR... Sun, 1 Mar 2015 14:58:20 EST new avatar - black bathing suit http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5884727 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/2/l920360761.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/5/l1514182045.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> 176 - 135 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> BTW: This gal doesn't have 50 years of deflated skin from gaining and losing so much weight. This gal didn't weigh 299 at age 17. However…. How I THINK i look now (to myself) is not clear either. So…. Let's roll with this. <BR> <BR> AIMING for the 50's!!!! <BR> (We'll look at the last 15 lbs in s... Sun, 1 Mar 2015 10:19:33 EST WEIGHT REPORT -- Up&Down … Deconstructed and NEW GOALS http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5884723 UP AND DOWN <BR> <BR> <BR> So here's the REPORT <BR> <BR> I weighed 172 a whole bunch of times in the last year. <BR> <BR> 6/16/14 <BR> 7/09/14 <BR> 8/22/14 <BR> 1/19/15 <BR> 2/03/15 <BR> 2/17/15 <BR> <BR> and I weighed higher <BR> with 176 being my concrete ceiling (6/25/14) <BR> with a yo low of 168.2 (aug and also 11/18/14) <BR> <BR> <BR> and I weighed lower (this chapter) <BR> 170.6 7/26/14 <BR> 168.2 8/7/14 <BR> 172 .2 8/22/14 <BR> 171.2 10/7/14 <BR> 171.6 12/12/14 <BR>... Sun, 1 Mar 2015 10:12:53 EST March Goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5884206 it's okay to want to lose weight - move stones. <BR> What's reasonable? As a goal this month? I want to lose 5 lbs. <BR> Yes. How fabulous would that feel? Very. <BR> <BR> I will weigh myself tomorrow morning… in my bday suit. <BR> (I will not react in beatmyselfup mode if i am up after a week of eating out with out of town guests) <BR> <BR> I will go to the gym 4x this week (or more). <BR> I will work out 40min - 60min each visit. <BR> I will drink a lot of water daily. <BR> I will ... Sat, 28 Feb 2015 11:06:35 EST montage of intention http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5879863 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/0/l2059006595.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/4/3/l437681871.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/0/l1054313010.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/9/l793452863.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/3/l1305877671.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/1/l1125434287.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/5/8/l580589385.jpg"> <img src="http://photos... Sat, 21 Feb 2015 11:00:13 EST From Jen Louden, via Brene Brown http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5878275 “Where is the line between pleasure or comfort and numbing?” <BR> <BR> This is where I found Jen’s work on shadow comforts. It accurately reflects the data and she’s named it in a way offers clarity and connection. I love it when that happens! In The Life Organizer, Jen writes: <BR> <BR> “Shadow comforts can take any form. It’s not what you do; it’s why you do it that makes the difference. You can eat a piece of chocolate as a holy wafer of sweetness—a real comfort—or you can cram an entir... Wed, 18 Feb 2015 17:12:30 EST I''m here, I'm clear….. love myself as I love…u http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5876727 so…. what gives? <BR> mirror mirror on the wall…. whose the…. fairest/fattest of them all? <BR> I never know what I'm seeing in the mirror <BR> a visage <BR> a reflection <BR> a ghost <BR> a harbinger <BR> a memory <BR> a feeling <BR> a version of me <BR> <BR> one day i look good (to me) <BR> the next day … not so much <BR> <BR> sometimes it is how much i slept <BR> or what Im wearing <BR> A LOT of the time… it's how I feel inside <BR> bouncing <BR> off the light <BR> and through the glas... Mon, 16 Feb 2015 11:48:07 EST TitsTatsPitterPats - - ou est les operating instructions…. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5871850 What? No idea what that means. <BR> IT'S RAINING! NICE. Gray suits me. And helps to encourage a cocooning … My job to keep it positive. <BR> <BR> I'm not keeping my Self happy and buoyant on a full day basis. <BR> I am not enough engaged. <BR> I don't have enough contact(s) here in California. <BR> ISOLATION for me…. invites my 'addictions' (hate that word use… but it will suffice). <BR> <BR> Food… works as a substitute for friendship and activity. <BR> It works but NOT REALLY. <BR> "... Sun, 8 Feb 2015 13:21:49 EST Stormy Weather - really just a rant - no comments, please (i should get a journa http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5870682 "… don't know why…." <BR> <BR> Joe's sister and her family are snuggling in …. got a bunch more firewood yesterday… getting ready for "the storms". Winter rain and wind a'comin'. When I still lived in Chicago… I heard about the winter storms on the CA south coast… the greenhouse blowing off the hill… the sound of a train… the whistles off the hills. It's not like Kansas. It has it's own particulars here. Yep. Now it's Here instead of There for me. Except that… well… Whether its ME (m... Fri, 6 Feb 2015 12:52:05 EST February Goals… because I MATTER http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5867140 Okay… T…. Thanks for reminding me! Setting goals is one of the most expeditious steps to achieving them. So.. here goes: <BR> <BR> FEBRUARY -- <BR> <BR> ** I would LOVE to be in the 160's by end of Feb. That means a 2-5lb weight loss (depending on what I weigh today…) <em>225</em> <em>347</em> <em>91</em> <em>7</em> <em>68</em> <em>362</em> <BR> <BR> ** <em>194</em> WATER -- moving water… is the essence of life…. <BR> These past months I've been moving wate... Sun, 1 Feb 2015 12:34:55 EST A great week… all in all… don't let a slip take you down! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5862216 So… I had kindof a great week. I mean, I was on my 'game' insofar as hitting the gym 4 or 5 out of seven days… and moving the output up…. moving the endorphins and enjoyment up…. remembering that I enjoy the way I feel when i do. <em>244</em> <BR> that's a feel good, for sure. <BR> <BR> I made good choices most of the time. We ate beautiful fruits and fresh proteins. I stayed away from alcohol (except for entertaining Joe's sister here the other night… more on that later). Wine... Sun, 25 Jan 2015 12:44:49 EST I'm Not in my Groove http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5856406 I'm not in my groove. And I want to be. I miss it. I miss me. <BR> Snacks and extra flavors were filing in for me processing my feelings. <BR> It wasn't just that I had injuries and couldn't work out… or that I "lost it" during my big move to CA. <BR> <BR> I forgive myself for gaining back some of the weight lost in Chicago…. on Winchester Street, when my GROOVE was ON and working… when my FOCUS and routine so seemingly smoothly kept me off the scale, out of crazy, and losing weight st... Sat, 17 Jan 2015 12:04:33 EST copycat - New Year LIFE HAPPENS http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5842809 "Setting a goal simply because a new year is about to ring in invites setting a starting line and a finish line. I am not setting goals for a new year. I am (and have been) setting goals for a new life. A healthier, happier, more fulfilling life. It's not about losing weight, making more money, or getting more done in a day (although these can be happy side benefits). It's about recognizing what I value, what a quality life means to me, and how to align my daily activities to achieve these. "... Thu, 1 Jan 2015 12:22:31 EST weekly goals LIST -- post facto http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5833105 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/7/l1730954131.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Monday 12/15- Workout with PT 11am Yes*done*! <BR> Tuesday 16 - Yoga NOT DONE - shopped instead <BR> Wed 17 - ? walk outside if not raining? NOT DONE <BR> Thurs 18 PT with Antonio Yes_*done* <BR> Fri 19 Treadmill or outside NOT DONE - xmas factory <BR> Sat 20 Yoga in the AM? Hmmmm? <BR> Sun 21 tbd Hmmm <BR> <BR> Thanks Dalida for the list <BR> <BR> UMMMMMMM….. <BR> Post facto:... Sun, 14 Dec 2014 23:15:17 EST Here I am NOW (with photos) -- The Journey Is The Thing http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5828586 Hey hey! It's December 2014. Whhhhoooooooooossssshhhhhhhhh! <BR> Four years since I first logged on to Spark. And I want to CELEBRATE the COMMUNITY OF FRIENDS HERE… and I want to Celebrate My Conscious Self-Loving version of self-care around Food and Movement and… Yep… Remember to remember: <BR> <BR> To keep any kind of weight loss and movement program…. <BR> I am having and have had to stay on a path… enjoy the journey…. the journey is the thing. <BR> Let's say that again: THE... Sat, 6 Dec 2014 11:45:27 EST am and pm - discuss http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5818883 so… morning check-ins are so grounding <BR> giving a kiss and a hug to myself <BR> as i start the day <BR> with intentions <BR> with presence <BR> Inhale <BR> Exhale <BR> Drink water <BR> take vitamins <BR> Log first bites…. <BR> <BR> Lunch the past few days is telegraphed in by phone <BR> ANd that too has been smooth <BR> <BR> It's by mid-late afternoon the past couple of days (and in general as i look back) <BR> by 2/3pm a "snack" not well-enough PLANNED <BR> <BR> **yes, p… here's th... Tue, 18 Nov 2014 10:57:10 EST The 10 Commandments of True Happiness - Deepak Chopra http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5818293 1. Listen to Your Body’s Wisdom <BR> <BR> Our body expresses itself through signals of comfort and discomfort. When choosing a certain behavior, ask your body, “How do you feel about this?” If your body sends a signal of physical or emotional distress, watch out. If your body sends a signal of comfort and eagerness, proceed. <BR> <BR> 2. Live in the Present <BR> <BR> The present is the only moment you have. Keep your attention on what is here and now; look for the fullness in every moment.... Mon, 17 Nov 2014 11:30:42 EST Frequent Flyers and other clubs on the head http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5792218 Wow. Last blog was in July??? That's a 'tell'… for sure. <BR> Here I am, now. Sitting in a little seaside village in CA… in a rented house… with craigslist sofa a couple of chairs, …. Great fortune in these parts. Boxes. Kitchen not working yet. Eating out too much. <BR> <BR> I'm not good at transitions. <BR> Because-- my mind can't stop problem solving… and my focus on wholistic living is frazzled. What goes first is the food. And when the food is working IT takes a whole lo... Sat, 4 Oct 2014 11:25:13 EST Pants - Fit … Alice http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5731165 For as long as I can remember… that scene in Alice in Wonderland.. You know the one… the bigger smaller bigger smaller scene…. hooked me and is in my image repertoire, haunts me. <BR> <BR> I put on the MK orange jeans I bought almost 2 years ago… today <BR> yeah, the ones that had gotten Too Big…. but not SO too big I couldn't wear them <BR> yeah, the ones I considered throwing out <BR> because of the idea of 'not keeping bigger sizes… not leaving the door open'. <BR> <BR> Well… Today the... Thu, 3 Jul 2014 09:07:09 EST Don't Panic http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5730103 ahh.ha. <BR> This is not about the history. <BR> This is about NOW. <BR> And This is about ME. Moi. <BR> <BR> I've been in a panic. Accellerating. <BR> Life circumstances. Undercurrents becoming main narratives. <BR> I maintained a wt loss of 80 lbs for over a year. <BR> Then shi* happened. And I did pretty good considering. Up and down. But only 5 lb swings. <BR> Then … as challenges got more and more new and habits fell away <BR> I panicked SOFTLY <BR> softly at first. <BR> COPING ... Tue, 1 Jul 2014 20:55:12 EST annagaddadavida pranayama 'that's how the light gets in' http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5724766 okay. it makes no sense. i know. "don't you know that I'll always be true" <BR> <BR> i want to i will i am <BR> i need i wish i forecast <BR> today today today <BR> <BR> mmhmm <BR> <BR> yeah <BR> <BR> b r e a t h <BR> b r e a t h <BR> <BR> i ordered a pranayama breathing cd. for purpose of practicing REGULARLY <BR> PRACTICING <BR> dOing <BR> <BR> my joints are so freaking stiff in the a.m. <BR> and I judge it - first. then i fear. then i let go. then i stretch. <BR> some day... Tue, 24 Jun 2014 09:54:39 EST 2 places … but not at once http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5715823 Facing the separations. <BR> Paying attention. No judgement. <BR> My stuff. What remains of it… Part here, part in storage. <BR> And my dwelling -- ssssss <BR> California with Joe -- spare, cabin life, nature, . . . but need more than what's there <BR> Chicago safe house, condo, fall back… things arranged.. clothes… just a few talismans <BR> MOST of my 'stuff' is in storage <BR> <BR> Still… <BR> TODAY I am looking at separating <BR> 1) What to pack to California <BR> 2) What to leave h... Wed, 11 Jun 2014 13:40:44 EST Love Myself First http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5715580 Wake up <BR> smell the roses, smell the coffee <BR> "First rule of lifesaving…" <BR> she said <BR> <BR> Caretaking finito - be gone <BR> mama, s.o. not child <BR> <BR> forgive me if i write in code here <BR> <BR> THE POINT IS <BR> <BR> I am TODAY again declaring a Fresh Spark Start. Tracking and Basics <BR> I WANT IT <BR> I WANT TO FEEL GOOD <BR> and I'm not going to head trip why losing weight and maintaining weight is so CORE to that being possible. <BR> <BR> I've gained more than ... Wed, 11 Jun 2014 09:13:50 EST May 9 - Here today…. Tracks http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5691520 <BR> Where does the time go? <BR> Reading "The Map of Enough" -- about a woman and her fiancé who build a yurt in Montana -- for a year…. challenging her "nomad" identity forged from a childhood of moving often. <BR> <BR> I've been reading memoirs recently. Mostly women… in some kind of major Life Shift. <BR> <BR> I've been hunkered in forts while simultaneously always on the s h i f t … for all of my life. <BR> Plans and procrastinations. Exercises not done, or surely not done every... Fri, 9 May 2014 19:35:56 EST DAY ONE http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5683073 1 waffle (not two). Measure the syrup (1 Tblsp). TRACK on pc not iPhone. Connect. <BR> What works. Do what works. What has worked before… and yet be present for TODAY. <BR> "Onward and Downward" <BR> <BR> Yes. Weight is up. Even more. And the swearing on -- a few times in past months -- that lacked followthrough? Well… Let go of it. You HAVE TO. <BR> <BR> You have too. P…. I'm talking to myself. Yep. <BR> <BR> Do what worked before. <BR> DAY ONE <BR> <BR> TRACK <BR> Eat 3 meal... Tue, 29 Apr 2014 10:50:41 EST a little sad today (note to self - really) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5644531 the tears finally come <BR> after <BR> yeah… after the drive to the natl walking park where i sat and listened to npr intw with Edward Snowden and Russia expert on Putin's position looked at with equanimity <BR> yeah… after bleeding through a tampon at a coffeeshop (an enigma of perimenopause) <BR> yeah… after eating ALL the kashi bars in the car (note to self- don't buy those again) <BR> <BR> A friend of spirit is going to die this week … after a long and terrible debilitating illness <BR... Mon, 10 Mar 2014 13:53:54 EST Spring Clips http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5643876 Self Magazine clippings strewn about the table today. Time for a new collage. Picture and caption motivations. And this lovely list which I found useful but even better AMUSING ;-) <BR> <BR> 12 Ways to Think Slim -- <BR> "You don't need an overhaul of all your eateng habits to shed pounds. Adopting a few food mantras -- all backed by science can be as successful… and waaaayy easier: <BR> <BR> 1. Food is not a trophy (or reward) <BR> <BR> 2. Dessert is best on a full stomach. <... Sun, 9 Mar 2014 20:06:47 EST Listen Deeply - New Beginnings - Already in Progress (aka DOUBLE NICKELS) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5642160 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/8/6/l869066939.jpg"> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/8/3/l832923197.jpg"> thank you NonieC <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/0/l1058482226.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/4/l1407063458.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/9/l1992568710.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/1/l1121389103.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> Yes. <BR> Walk steady <BR> on old and new... Fri, 7 Mar 2014 12:14:37 EST